Everyone should pitch in fair share imo
1 Like
The person who’s staying at home will inevitably do more housework. My husband works and I stay home. He does all outside work, heavy lifting and repair type work. I do regular housework, other than the few age appropriate chores that I assign to our kids. He helps with the kids and tries to help with housework, so I make sure it’s finished before he gets home. I still run with the kids, play and do crafts. It’s possible to have a clean house and enjoy time with the kids during the day.
8 Likes
I stay home and if I don’t feel like cleaning I don’t clean. If I don’t feel like cooking he eats cereal. He never complains. And if any b!tch gonna tell me how I should wife then they can go kick rocks. I ain’t got time for any of that bullshit.
If you’re at home you should bare the responsibility for the house work n dinner. Find the balance with the house chores n kids.
3 Likes
Me and my husband both work full-time. We do teamwork. Plus my older kids help with chores. I’m not saying your house should be spotless but it should look like you live there but not a disaster. When it comes to MIL, she really should mind her business. It’s yalls relationship. Not hers. As long as you and your husband are is agreement then it shouldn’t matter. SAHM does handle housework while he pays the bills. Doesnt mean he can’t take out the trash or help with the kids when he comes home. You’re not a maid, you’re a wife. Its better to speak to him about this and yall discuss it.
It’s everybody’s job. It shouldn’t be just one person because that’s too much for one person. 
I’m raising my son to help around the house even if you work. It’s a gender neutral job. If you see your significant other having issues with keeping the house clean, you help automatically without asking if they need help.
1 Like
Do whats best for your family. Being a stay at home mom is a full time job to. It’s not like you have time to nap all day. Your husband can absolutely help some. I like old school ways but this one is absolutely outdated. He lives in the house, he helps make it dirty, he helped make those kids. Then he can absolutely help you out. Your not his mom or maid. If he doesn’t like it tell him to go back living with mommy then.
1 Like
When I was a sahm I cooked, cleaned, etc lol on top of taking care of our little. Now we both work full time and we both cook and clean and our babe is now at daycare but we both play with her at home. Your mother in law is right but she should not be meddling, if that is what your husband is cool with and you too then who cares what others say?!
Depends… Does your man work 8 to 10 hours and come home to be a lazy ass? Or does he do something productive at home?.. A woman shouldn’t have to work at home doing everything, from sun up to sun down, if the man is working his job and coming home to do nothing.
U didnt marry her…u do what u need to do if kids come first go for it house work will b there kids need u mom…your doing great…hubby needs tell mom get over it
1 Like
Screw her. You’re not a maid. Kids take a lot of energy. Fact being your husband can help with the house too. I know for fact that my serving job working 60 hours a week look less out of me than being a mom.
2 Likes
I swear the amount of women living in the 50’s on here…
3 Likes
No it’s not but are you working or just staying home with the kids? I mean it’s only fair you keep up with the house for not working but doesn’t mean you should just do it by yourself tho.
I always say it not 1950 any more it suppose to be eqaul and not one more then the other sometimes mom get tired
No. Cant believe some woman think that this is ok . Wtf . Hope your house is spotless when your men get home …
1 Like
I’m a stay at home mom and I do 90% of all the house work. It’s only right! My significant other works 60 plus hours a week so it’s only fair that I put in my work too. He comes home to a meal and clean home every single day… and I still have plenty of time to play with my kids and even take them out to the pool daily. But do what is best for you… I have 2 children under 4 so I get how exhausting it is…
7 Likes
lmao awe … dont let ppl ever make you feel like what you do isn’t right. I’m sure you’d feel otherwise if you felt the same way as her, we are moving towards a new generation. My husband works 12 hr days and I stay home and work part time, but i do take on dishes and cooking and we both clean up after ourselves. we both cleaan if its needed but i do the deep cleaning because men… lol but honestly i guess what im trying to say is every household is different and has different norms, standards and whats “right” … if somebody has an opinion who is not apart of the household, it shouldn’t even be valid or thought about to this extent. they dont have to live there daily, and if hubby is happy and you’re happy thats all that matters 
I dont do the dishes for a weeeek straight sometimes (depression) but my man will never make me feeel bad abt it, he leaves them and washes what we need for us, he knows i like to be in charge and do them myself so he doesnt do them all lol but i hope you kinda see what im getting at??? just be happy, and be you! <3
1 Like
cooking and cleaning is a basic life skill, not a gender role 
Please make that clear to her and that she is more than wlcome to help if she keep on putting her 10 cents in
It’s not old fashioned it’s a division of labor. If you SO works and provides then it’s fair to say you should take care of the household. Of course laundry will build up some days and you’ll have pizza for dinner sometimes but it’s a team effort
6 Likes
If he’s working and you’re at home then yes, you need to make sure your house is clean, laundry is done, and dinner is cooked. That’s YOUR contribution to your family. No way should a man work full time and have to come home, clean, cook, etc., when there was someone at home perfectly capable of doing those things during the day. It sounds like maybe you just need to set yourself up on a schedule so that you have enough time to get everything done. As for your MIL, yes, she should mind her own business, but I can understand her concerns.
9 Likes
I’m a SAHM and I do all the housework and most of the cooking. However, my husband puts kids to bed, baths, plays with them when he gets home. He also sometimes cooks because I am also a student. He helps clean on weekends also. He understands if I can’t always get to everything and picks up the slack as he should. If you put in the effort than it shouldn’t be hard for your husband to also pick up any slack. SAHM is harder than working a full time job. Factoring in playing and also teaching them since they are not in preschool, it can be too much. Everything should not fall on your shoulders. He is a parent not another child to care for.
1 Like
If you’re a stay at home mom… yes… yes you should. 
2 Likes
I am a former stay at home mom. Taking care of our babies was as much of a job as it was for him to go out & work. Household duties are split, as they should be. You’re not a servant.
4 Likes
If he’s the one paying the bills he shouldn’t have to do anything. That’s the way is was in my house!
3 Likes
Get a job if you dont want to cook and clean. That way you both have to do house work, no exceptions. You have to do your part and contribute somehow. Just say you’re lazy if you’re lazy.
2 Likes
I was a stay at home mom/wife for many years. Yes, when your husband works and you’re at home then yes you should clean the house etc. He never come home to a messy house and supper was in the works when he walked through that door. Your husband is working for Pete’s sake. He shouldn’t have to do anything except mowing or fixing a leaky pipe etc. 
As a SAHM while I don’t think it’s your “job” as a wife to do all those things, but I think as a mother and someone who lives there it is. I couldn’t imagine not having the house at least tidy and dishes done (I can’t leave dirty dishes in the sink). I don’t think he should expect you to be on top of it every single day, but It should be getting done.
1 Like
Lead by example, that goes for both parents regardless of stay at home parent or full time worker. I work from home, wife works service at a restaurant, we both do the cooking and everyone that lives under this roof helps with the clean. It’s a responsible adults job plain and simple, lead by example or have lazy kids who will grow up expecting to be coddled.
2 Likes
This is not even worth answering if you think he should work and you do nothing but play with your kids then your marriage won’t last or will become incredibly unhappy.
3 Likes
Your MIL needs to mind her own business. You do what works best for you and your family.
1 Like
If he is working and you are not then yes it’s all on you. I used to work 20ish hours a week while my husband worked 48+ and all he did was mow the yard. I did everything else. Now that we work together one of us will start a meal while the other showers then we switch. He washes and drys the clothes and I fold/hang up and take care of. It’s about equal workload. That’s my opinion though. Y’all need to do what works best for y’all though.
1 Like
You both live there, therefore you both should share the chores as well as take turns caring for your kiddos
3 Likes
Politely, it ain’t none of her damn business. That’s YOUR house that you share with your husband and children!! I would let it go in one ear and out the other. Cleaning and cooking is a part of being at home but it is NOT something we have to constantly be doing allday.
Our children need us during the day. Ain’t nobody got time for that. You guys run your household the way it works for YOU!
You two decide yalls roles. I would ask him what he expects from you. Personally, I am sahm but that doesn’t mean my husband is relieved of all duties. I still expect him to do most outside work and I need help when I need it. If he acts a fool, he doesn’t get the rewards of my niceness. Your job is sahm. His is during the day. You get some relief and help too. If your kids having a good relationship and education and fun times is important to him then I see not being crazy tidy all the time BUT don’t use it as an excuse. Put yourself in his shoes and ask him to do the same. I’m sure you wouldn’t want a long hard day and come home to a mess but I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be home caring for the kids and have someone tell him he isn’t enough. If she says something directly to you, tell her you two have your own relationship and expectations and work it out.
3 Likes
The mum is kinda right. Taking care of kids is just as tiring as going to work. But if your husband is the hands on type atleast let him walk in to a clean house and meal 80% of the week. He gets tired as well and he might be really hungry when he gets back
1 Like
I mean if you don’t want to even clean the house and youre there all day then get a job so you’re contributing to the household somehow 
3 Likes
That’s two different issues. Being made to feel like you’re not good enough is not okay and your husband needs to make it clear to mom that it will NOT be tolerated. PERIOD. However, the second issue is a different matter. Regardless of gender, if a spouse has the good fortune of being a stay-at-home parent, they should do a significant share of household care and upkeep in addition to caring for the children. It’s only fair to make it equitable. If the husband stayed home every day and did nothing but play with and care for the kids, would it be fair for the working mom to come home and do ALL the rest? I don’t think so. As all things in marriage, work and financial responsibility and chores should ALL be shared and negotiated with care and compassion. Kids should see that and be given responsibilities too! Everyone is working and everyone needs to help AND extend grace to each other! 
10 Likes
Each should pull their own weight… if he’s working all day & you’re not, then yes… you should be doing the chores & cooking…
9 Likes
My ex-MIL had similar views. Lovely woman but believed that the woman should do everything house related while holding down a job and the husband did nothing house related.
My favorite phrase for unwanted advice is, “Thank you for sharing.” You can say it brightly with a smile instead of dripping with sarcasm. After a couple repetitions MIL should get the message.
Or ask her to come over one day and show you how it’s done. After a full day of cooking, cleaning and chasing after the kids she might be more sympathetic, or you might learn something.
Also, cooking and cleaning is part of the deal when you’re a stay-home parent. Just keep the house & kids presentable and make sure everyone gets fed three square meals a day. It doesn’t have to be spotless or gourmet. Some days you’ll be able to do more than others, but having a set schedule for chores and children’s activities makes life easier for everyone.
Hubs should take on at least half the tasks with the kids (play, homework, bath, brushing teeth, pjs and bedtime stories) when he’s home. If he has a stressful job or commute (or both) give him 30-60 minutes to decompress by taking a nap, shower, playing video games or whatever allows him to de-stress when he gets home.
You should have some hours on one of his days off to sleep in or do whatever you need to do to de-stress too. Decide together how many nights a week you cook dinner and how many nights you go out/order takeout or he picks up pizza/fast food on the way home. He should also know how to cook, and make dinner once a month on one of his days off.
Good luck!
She is absolutely not correct. You’re his wife, not his maid. You should both be pitching in when it comes to household chores. He works all day, you raise kids all day. Those are your “jobs”. Laundry and vacuuming are something any responsible adult living in the house should do.
13 Likes
It’s 50/50 no matter who works and cleans . You all live in the house so you should all clean the house. I have never been a stay at home mom but I know after I work I come home and clean.
Let’s be honest. Doing the dishes and vacuuming takes less than 1 hour for both. If you have a dishwasher, even less time. I don’t know of any parent that out of an 8 hour day they play with their kids for more than 7 hours. That seems extreme. Kids need time to learn how to entertain themselves anyway. That’s what makes their imaginations work. Your husband won’t confront his Mom because he knows she is right. 
12 Likes
Yes that is how you contribute if you don’t work. Does the house have to sparkle? No and he should absolutely help by picking up after himself and helping with the kids while he is home but as a SAHM you should be able to cook and clean as well as be with your kids
13 Likes
Its the generation she was born in. Things are different now. I look at everything equally. But im a single mom so i wouldnt know the struggle. Maybe 1 day i will. Idk.
Unset her out of her ways 
I dare one of my in laws to say some petty ass shit like that. I’d leave it to my father in law to say something ignorant like that because he does but then my mother in laws stands up for me because she did it all without him in the picture 80% of the time 
when he comments about how I should raise the kids and do the house work I flip it back on him and ask him why I should take relationship and parenting advice from someone who’s been through 3 marriages and didn’t even raise his own kids past 3 years old… in laws can suck, don’t get me wrong me and my father in law get along really well most the time but when he says snarky bullshit I don’t take it, he doesn’t see me and my fiancé’s relationship day to day he only sees what we want him to see. Stand your ground Gf even if it upsets them for a while it’s not your responsibility to be a mother to a grown man when you’re already raising his children.
Some of y’all ain’t never been a stay at home parent and it shows ain’t none of y’all doing life perfectly. SAT DOWN somewhere calling her lazy.
I damn sure play with my baby and spend time over doing the damn dishes or vacuuming. My house ain’t flithy but it isn’t perfect either. But, guess what my child is HAPPY and well taken care of! And, so is my husband.
I do dishes and tidy up from the days FUN when my family goes to sleep!! Y’all sound real 1950’s shaming her like her mother in law has any say in their damn household. So ridiculous
Put in your 8 hours how you deem fit, it’s your job to make sure the babies are cared for… in those 8 hours… the rest is a tag team “overtime job” … where things should be split… and also his turn to play and bond with the babies so that maybe yeah, you can do some “peaceful” housework (sometimes cleaning feels like a break from the kids at least… put on some head phones and rock out momma!) -another stay at home momma who has a husband that has issues with drawing a line from my job to his.
I was a sahm of 3 and yes my husband worked to support our family. I managed to keep a clean home and cooked a meal daily and take care of our children. It’s not that hard. But my husband did pitch in and help when needed. It was a joint effort. He had the outside and me the inside, it worked for us. We never had any mother in law issues.
5 Likes
Girl! If this wasn’t my life right now?!!! Let it roll off you like water on a ducks back babe.
1 Like
If your job is to be home and take care of the kids, you can do chores too. You have them do simple things to help you, because it starts to teach them responsibility. Works best with a reward after the chore is completed so they get a sense of doing something you ask can be positive and rewarding. If the children are at least 5 this works pretty well. But in the long run, maybe it is somewhat your job to clean the house. Not everything but the bulk of it for sure. Just my opinion. I don’t work but my husband does. Our agreement was that I’d take care of the house and the other things. It’s a LONG list of things to balance. But you just have to start a routine and before you know it, it’s not that big a deal.
7 Likes
If you’re a stay at home mom then my answer is yes it’s your job to cook and clean.
10 Likes
Good thing you didn’t marry her then right? She doesn’t need to be pleased by you.
1 Like
Whoo, she’d hate me. I’m the sole breadwinner while hubs is a stay at home dad.
1 Like
Yes I think a woman should take care of the home and the husband work a job. If you’re the stay at home mom especially you should being cooking and cleaning.
11 Likes
You married him…if he is okay with it…she doesn’t matter… don’t let her rent space in her mind where she does not pay the bills.
2 Likes
1,tell mommy dearest to shut up, non of her business how you keep your home.
2, those babies are only going to be babies for a short while, enjoy your time with them it’s just as important a job, maybe more so, as your husbands. Your raising the next generation. When old enough, make a game of cleaning with them when it works. Dishes will be there later. Time with your kids, priceless. At least that was mine and my husbands attitude. I was blessed with a wonderful husband and a mother in law that did not stick her nose in where it does not belong.
Your husband still has to be a father even though he works. He still has to be a husband and a grown ass man and help around the house even though he works. That’s his house and his kids too. This isn’t the 50s. Just because he works doesn’t mean he gets a pass. Most men wouldn’t survive one day staying home with the kids or doing the house work. If he can’t come home and help then why even be with him? Tell your mother in law she can come clean your house for you if she doesn’t like it. Stand your ground. It isn’t her marriage or her house. If she can’t respect you cut her out. Your husband needs to have your back no matter what.
If you stay at home with the kids than yes it is your job to do that. He shouldnt have to work and come home and take care of the house if you are there all day.
10 Likes
As a previous stay at home mom for 4 years, yes I cooked clean and took care of the kids. But no it shouldn’t all be on you. Now that I do work a job, I still do all of those things, so why can’t he help with something. If I can work and still do everything a stay at home Cooking dinner every once in a while or folding 1 load won’t hurt him.
4 Likes
Few exceptions here and there. But yes, biblically speaking, it’s our job to take care of the home and children.
5 Likes
oh please! I’m thankful my MIL is so kind. I’m sorry you’re hearing such negativity but I say, tune it out, however you can. I’d pick kids over chores any day! And my husband is a wonderful partner with regular house stuff. I know I’m blessed! I aim for my kids to approach it the same. You get to do it “cuz you live here”. 
1 Like
If you stay at home, at-home stuff is your job. I would never expect my man to come home and cook and clean after working 8-10 hours a day. Now, I’m not his slave and if I need a little help after he gets home he’s usually happy to help but I don’t expect it- I’m home so I do the home stuff 
10 Likes
If he is at work all day and u stay home yes home should be clean and food should be done and kids should be taken care of… He shouldnt have to come home to help cook or clean if he worked all day… He has his job and the house kids and food is yours
13 Likes
Yes, it is your job to cook, clean and take care of the kids if he works all day. He shouldn’t have to come home and do those things after he works.
6 Likes
I wouldn’t say it’s specifically a woman’s job, but it is definitely the task for the party whom is home if they are able to be at home.
11 Likes
I have taught my son’s how to do their own washing. They can bake in the kitchen and cook meals if they want to. They do jobs when they were younger. I am the only female in my house hold. So having the help of my boys was great. I take my hat off to every stay at home parent you are awesome. You have alot of patience and I could not stay at home I would go nuts. To every grandparent that helps out and family member you are awesome.
My MIL is old school and her mind is set that way too. I just ignore her and let her talk. She can’t say much because I’m the bread winner and still manage to take care of my kids without her help. I wasn’t who she picked out to marry her son but he chose me and backs me up. He hates dealing with her also so we both try to ignore it.
Don’t let her get to you. As long as you are happy with your family, no one else matters. Just as long as you and your hubby share some household responsibilities that’s all it matters. It’s no one else’s business on what goes on within your family/marriage.
1 Like
All that matters is what works for y’all… Somebody somewhere is always gonna have something say about what you’re doing and how you’re living, it’s inevitable… Don’t let anyone make you feel some type of way cause you do things differently… If it works for YOU keep doing it.
Yep it is. You don’t work and he does so the house should be clean when he he’s home. Doesn’t mean he can’t help
1 Like
Definitely not only a woman’s job however if he works and you don’t then home duties is your contribution to the household and marriage. In saying that if women work and the husband is a stay at home dad then it would be his contribution to the household. Not saying its easy but i can’t wait to stay home and not have to work 60hrs or more a week.
Ps dont let this woman tell you how to run things in your home.
2 Likes
Omg Fuk ur mother in law! What happens when y’all both are working ? Then who does she thinks gana do the cleaning ? I shit u not ul be shit then to!
Mother in laws that old are out dated , they were getting spanking in schools 
is that allowed now:thinking: it’s the stereotypical thing to say a sahm has to cook clean do the kids blah blah blah… but y then do u work 24/7 & the dad works 8 & clocks out:roll_eyes:fkdat
My partner & I have tried all 3 ways 3 kids sahm mom while he works , I felt like I wanted to bring the bread home so we switched & guess who tf did the shopping on the way home , & made sure the kids lunches were made & teeth were brushed & rooms were vacuumed toys put away cooked dinner trainings washing ect ect yes it was me & he did the day time!!
We both worked & it didn’t work out coz our kids have busy lives so now it’s back to me sahm & him working !! I shit u not he’s cleaning & doing extra wen he gets home!!
We in a new millennium y’all stop the bulshit & acting like it’s his job or her job!! Equality is key … find ur balance w ur partner that’s all that matters
1 Like
If you are a stay at home wife and mother yes it is your job. Most men don’t want to come home to a dirty house after they are working their butt off. It’s team work that makes a marriage remember that
Why do you feel you need to be good enough for that woman? Are your kids cared for? Loved? Safe? Have food? Shelter?
Then you’re good parents and she can sit on a cactus
5 Likes
Yes if your man is out working to take care of you. I had 4 kids I took care of my kids and my man. He always came home to a clean house and supper on the table. Sounds like your using your kids just to be lazy. Take care of your man .
10 Likes
It just depends on how you were raised. But if he is taking care of the financial side it would be nice for you to help out with the up keeping of the home.
You can’t expect him to work all day and come home to clean and cook just because you don’t think it’s your job. It’s not a job, a marriage is team work
10 Likes
Everyone runs their household differently. Wether you work or not it’s basic life skills to care for your house yourself and your children meaning it’s his house too. I’m constantly cleaning up after myself kids and my husband BUT my husband helps too when he’s home. Sahm have jobs too… there jobs are their children and their houses… I say if you are just never cleaning or doing dishes then she probably says it cause he says something, but if you just skip a day or two here and there then she has no reason to say anything.
1 Like
I don’t think it’s necessarily the “woman’s” job but I do think that if one person isn’t working, they should be taking care of the house, regardless of gender. Should he work all day and come home and have to clean the house as well? He’ll no. I say this as a current SAHM, who has also been the provider at times.
1 Like
When I was a stay at home mom I felt like my job was to take care of the children and house.
But, if your husband is OK with it then so be it. It’s none of her business!
So first that is his mom-she will always be his mother so don’t come between them and don’t make his pick sides. Respect goes both ways but no matter what she gave birth to him and you married into the family, divorce happens every day because of a woman trying to make a man pick her over his mother. As far as the house and kids, it almost sounds like you don’t want to be a wife. I’m a mother and I take care of my child, clean, cook etc because I want a clean house, because I want to do those things. Granted his father and I are separated now but I never once expected him to clean and take care of the house after working 10-12 hour days/nights. Each relationship is different though. But as far as the Bible goes it does say He created woman to be man’s helpmate. The Proverbs woman…there’s that but not everyone believes in God so that may not be relevant to you. All that to say you’re going to do what you want to do regardless of other’s opinions. As long as you can live with your life and your husband’s ok with it then just keep peace with the MiL. But it’s almost a given that your Man and MiL will hold a different type of respect for you to be the SAHM and handle the SAHM responsibilities.
3 Likes
I am a SAHM. After l he works he comes home and does anything that needs to be done in the home. He doesn’t just get free time after work.
ur husband is right
let her say what she wants, do not even bother replying to her … & you just continue doing you☺
You should be doing cleaning AND childcare TF 
3 Likes
This attitude is from the dinosaur age
2 Likes
My husband and I have both had our times of being a stay at home parent. When one works, the other does all the household duties. When we both work, we both handle stuff. At one point we were both working 50+ hours a week, but his job was less demanding so he did most of the house work. Now, he works full time, I work part time so I do most of the housework. It’s all about being a team. If the way things are done in your home works for you and your husband, go with it. Honestly, he may not feel it’s an important battle with his mom.
1 Like
There isnt anything wrong with what you are doing. As long as your house isn’t gross then who cares if dishes aren’t done every day. Taking care of kids can be demanding and they don’t always allow you to do chores. We both work in the military and we don’t have the same off days. On days I work I come home and there’s still all the housework because he focuses on taking care of the baby. So when I get home I will clean or I will watch the baby while he cleans or if the baby is in a good mood we can set him down and do chores together. This isn’t the 50s. Dads can do childcare, clean, and work and so can moms.
1 Like
I mean that’s not for everybody but it’s definitely the way I was raised so that’s how I do things, it doesn’t bother me though lol! He bust his ass in this god awful TX heat so my personal thinking is its the least I can do, also I’d like to add I’m OCD af so even if I wasn’t raised this way I’d do it anyway because I can’t stand any kind of messes
He works so I keep the house cleaned and in order, run all the errands, do all the cooking, laundry, make sure trash is taken out. Do the grocery shopping, and take care of the kids and dog. I babysit out of my home to bring extra income in so I’m home anyway. But I like it this way, I’m picky so I’m happy to take over the housework I’d redo it anyway if he did it
Yes it should be done with a warm dinner on the table
4 Likes
Never, ever !!! live with in-laws .
2 Likes
We all have our days where we don’t feel like doing shit but my opinion ur husband should come home to a clean house and a cooked meal u don’t have to clean all day just make sure it’s done when he gets home and just because he works doesn’t mean he don’t have to not help around the house
I believe that if the man works the woman should clean and have supper ready for him. Shouldn’t take long to pick up the house . Then play time with the kiddos
3 Likes
Being in her 60’s is no excuse.
I’m 65 and I can stil Hear when my children ask me to change a behavior or consider a diffrtent point of view.
If you’re not dead, you can still learn and grow.
7 Likes
If she wants to let her but you do what you need to. Play with the kids clean up later enjoy them while they’re little vacuuming can wait
1 Like
Kids can help too, make it fun for them.
1 Like
Tell her the 1950’s called and they want her back
3 Likes
Well… if shes gonna be bitching about it… give her a towel and some cleaner and tell her to clean while she does it lol. Obviously her son thinks you are wife material. Maybe he chose you because his moms need to clean overshadowed her want to be with him or his siblings. It may have hurt him and made him think HE wasnt good enough. He didnt choose you or the way you are on accident. Give yourself a break. You are definitely good enough!
I don’t clean a damn thing until the kids are in bed 
besides maybe the dishes or unless I’m expecting people over but other than that nope
How much time should he be cleaning in the evening vs. how much time do you want to spend with him? What is his income and what is your income? Is a housekeeper affordable? What is masculine energy and what is feminine energy? What kind of habits are you teaching your kids? Do you want your daughters to be independent or homemakers?
I’m staying home rn while I’m pregnant and then for at least a few months after my baby is born my fiancé is more than willing to help me with anything that I need or ask for but I don’t like to ask I just want him to be able to relax when he gets home from work and eat and chill and I don’t want him coming home to a messy ass house either so I try to have everything perfect but some days especially rn this pregnant I can’t keep up so I always make sure that I’m clean and my kids are clean and fed first and taken care of if there is something I can’t get to he knows I’ll do it as soon as I can but he will just make me go sit down a lot of the time right now and help me cuz I’m so pregnant but my ex’s parents had crazy strong opinions on what and how I should be doing everything for him even though I already was his Mom just was weird and controlling with me and pushy and she would find something to say even though he never had to lift a finger outside of going to work and I worked too some women are just like that with their sons and they get weird when their son is in a relationship or marries someone I know she was always weird with me and pushy but as soon as I got pregnant it was like insane just freaking out trying to tell me every little thing she thought I should do and how there is no way in hell I could take care of my daughter I needed her help 6 years later she has never babysat my daughter for more than 1 hour by herself so it was all bullshit anyway she’s just
Crazy so all the stuff I used to let get to me so bad idgaf now I know I’m a good Mom and wife it is his job to deal with his side of the family and your job to deal with your side and he should always be backing you up if he won’t then you just need to tell her you don’t care about her opinions anymore so she can just keep them to herself or not come to your house anymore.