"My husband, our toddler, and I went to stay with his dad and his wife at their cabin. They invited their young friends, who are a couple, to come over, and they were all in the hot tub. I had to stay with our toddler inside the cabin. They were all drinking in the hot tub then everyone got out except my husband and the woman(around our age). They stayed up after midnight. They weren't doing anything but drinking and talking. Do you think it's very inappropriate for a married man to be in the hot tub alone with a woman?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"My husband said this behavior is totally inappropriate for a married man. I didn’t think it was that big a deal. My husband then said, “if you were stuck in the house, taking care of our baby, I would NEVER sit outside or anywhere else with any other woman talking, drinking, or doing anything else. If I have time to sit and talk to someone, I want that someone to be you.”
"I think the deeper issue is you felt left out. If you trust your husband it wasn’t inappropriate. If you were upset that he didn’t spend his time with you and his baby then you need to talk to him regarding that."
"I don't think it's necessarily inappropriate. But I do feel like it was inconsiderate. I mean you're sitting inside with your child and he's cutting loose. I feel like when everybody got out. Maybe he should have gotten you to go out and watched your child or asked someone close to and went out there with you. I don't think it was inappropriate given the circumstances. But I do think he needs to be more mindful about your feelings/wants/needs because I do agree that wasn't cool."
"Pretty weird thing for a happily married man to do while his wife is confined to the cabin with his child. A good man would’ve traded shifts with you and asked if you’d like to go soak and have a cocktail with her."
"That's a big NO, so disrespectful to you and ger husband. I trust my husband 100% but this isnt about trust its about being a married man that respects his wife!"
"No him socializing and talking to a guest in a hot tub wasn’t inappropriate but staying there for a long time without giving you a break and getting to socialize and relax was uncaring and insensitive."
"I think the real issue is that his wife didn’t get to have any hot tub drinking time. Why does dad get to enjoy their vacation and mom just gets to do the same thing she does at home but in a different location?"
"I think it’s inappropriate that he was okay with sitting around drinking while you took care of the baby by yourself."
"I would not like that personally. I'd just bring it up to your husband. Boundaries are important."
"I asked my husband this question his response was “I wouldn’t have gotten in the hot tub in the first place I’d have waited until our baby was asleep then we’d go out together”"
"My husband wouldn’t do that. Not because I think it would be wrong but because he wouldn’t place himself in a situation where I’d feel even hint of insecurity or worry."
"You already know the answer, that's why you're asking…it didn't feel right because something about it wasn't right."
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