My husband, our toddler, and I went to stay with his dad and his wife at their cabin. They invited their young friends, who are a couple, to come over, and they were all in the hot tub. I had to stay with our toddler inside the cabin. They were all drinking in the hot tub then everyone got out except my husband and the woman(around our age). They stayed up after midnight. They weren’t doing anything but drinking and talking. Do you think it’s very inappropriate for a married man to be in the hot tub alone with a woman?
367 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it appropriate for a married man to be drinking in a hot tub with another woman?
Yeah I’d call that very inappropriate
30 Likes
No I don’t see anything wrong with it. 
4 Likes
Must’ve been an interesting conversation…
8 Likes
I would not like that personally. I’d just bring it up to your husband. Boundaries are important.
13 Likes
Yeah that’s a hard no for me too. I’d lose my shit
Wouldn’t bother me if I knew 100% nothing happened.
1 Like
If there was nothing going on there isn’t anything wrong with it.
Jesus christ men can be around other women besides their SO and just enjoy themselves. Ffs stop being so jealous and petty.
31 Likes
Goes to show you don’t trust your husband He is an adult
11 Likes
You choose to stay inside with your child. When everyone else came in you could have gone out
12 Likes
It would really depend on the relationships between all of us. How long have you been friends? Who was friends first? A friend I’ve known a couple of years…no, wouldn’t be comfortable. One of my friends that I’ve known for 20 freaking years? Meh, she was probably giving excellent advice or they were discussing sci-fi. 
If they were just talking and drinking I see nothing wrong with irt
7 Likes
Sounds like you’re a bit insecure
7 Likes
Who told you nothing happened him🤣
2 Likes
I could be wrong but I don’t see anything with it as long as you trust your partner there shouldn’t be any issues if you don’t trust him and then you feel that insecurity then you would see something wrong with it. Just my opinion everybody may think something different but if it was my husband when he was out there talking with someone else that we knew from a family friend I would see nothing wrong with it. Gives me quite time lol I have been with mine for 19 years please let him talk to other people 
Eric all I can think is that you and I would spend the entire time debating and Emily and Nate would go to bed and care at all .
2 Likes
What if the roles were reversed? Would he have gotten upset
4 Likes
With my fiancee I wouldn’t mind because I KNOW he wouldn’t be doing anything. But I’m also sure that he would not even get in without me so my opinion is every relationship is different. Best of luck
1 Like
If there truly wasnt anything going on then who cares…
I’d prolly doinked both their heads together and watched them slide under water 
8 Likes
I trust my husband fully, this would not bother me, as long as we take turns on the toddler situation. But no issue on my end, just want a break from the toddler too in this situation have me some mom juice in the hot tub 
18 Likes
Hell nah! Inappropriate. Disrespectful. Wanna talk? Talk inside.
3 Likes
Yeah inappropriate but nothing to go insane about id definitely just talk to him and tell you didn’t appreciate that while I was taking care of our toddler. And you were all cuddled up to another women, I’d like to be in the hot tub having a good time too but no I’m taking care of our child while your taklking to another women for hrs .Then keep an eye out that’s what I’d do
8 Likes
I don’t know if I’d call it “inappropriate”…. But damn sure disrespectful‼️
1 Like
Yeah no hubby should have gotten out and spent time with you and little one
1 Like
Would be unacceptable for me. But my perspective is faith based and not secular. So it won’t apply to everybody.
3 Likes
If it’s a group I would say ok but not alone
I would trip tf out absolutely not.
It doesn’t matter at least they are just being friendly talking
Can also join them outside and obviously not going in but then you can try to be apart of some the conversations example!
but I would start getting pissed when the guy isn’t helping with the kid after he’s already out
I think the deeper issue is you felt left out. If you trust your husband it wasn’t inappropriate. If you were upset that he didn’t spend his time with you and his baby then you need to talk to him regarding that.
26 Likes
It’s okay if you trust your husband. If you don’t trust him, you’ve got bigger problems than a hot tub.
2 Likes
Yeah I would put hubby on radar
Did you have the baby alone? I think he should have taken some time to relax and then came in so you could go out and have some time to relax.
11 Likes
My husband knows better.
Sound like a personal problem, like your insecure. If you dont trust your husband and then yes this is a problem.
No lol they were drinking relaxing. You could have joined after the kids went to bed.
3 Likes
Frank Rivera another fun one:rofl:
Petty petty petty ppl can have friends 
4 Likes
Fine by me honestly. Maybe it was a stimulating conversation. It is vacation after all.
1 Like
Just believe in you and your marriage and don’t take it to the extreme were you think that he would do something so disrespectful to you and your child…. The only thing you do is trust him believe in him and that’s it
Very inappropriate! I would’ve been like ok honey your turn to take care of the baby while I relax in the hot tub! Byeeee 
7 Likes
Well it depends on if the conversion was appropriate or not. If it was just a platonic interaction I see nothing wrong with it. There must be some level of trust. Are you feeling left out? If so you should communicate this to your partner.
1 Like
I dont think there’s any damn thing wrong with that why would you not wanna hang out in a hottub with a couple beers on vacation?
“They weren’t doing anything but drinking and talking” well it seems you were watching the whole thing? If not, I’m assuming that’s just what your husband told you…. Apparently what he said doesn’t sit well with you for a reason.
2 Likes
No because I don’t have a reason to not trust my partner. He is allowed to have friends 
1 Like
If they were just talking and nothing inappropriate happened then I don’t see a problem with it. If you trust your husband, then it shouldn’t be an issue.
2 Likes
I dont see a problem with that
2 Likes
I’d like to think that out of respect for me,my husband would have finished his drink and gotten out of the hot tub once everyone else left. If they were enjoying the conversation he could have invited her inside so we could all talk and I wouldn’t feel left out and disrespected
18 Likes
No trust your husband or there won’t be a marriage for a long
Appropriate isn’t the right question. They both knew others were there.
The right question is: is it wise or thoughtful ?
Answer: no.
13 Likes
I mean honestly I wouldn’t appreciate it and my husband knows better, but It sounds harmless If they were just talking. 
3 Likes
Sounds like your problem 
2 Likes
No, not if you trust your husband!
1 Like
Sorry but if you have any respect for your spouse and are considerate of their feelings… you simply don’t do that stuff.
14 Likes
Either you were upset you had to stay inside with the baby and he never came in to give you an opportunity.
Or, there’s something or somethings he has done that had made you not trust him. Your gut is telling you something is wrong.
Your feelings are definitely valid.
Not to mention, he had no restraint in terms of time. I think that’s my concern with this.
So all in all, there’s a lack of boundary going on in his part.
A conversation needs to be had.
6 Likes
Nope. Absolutely not okay. And if the husband gets offended by your concern then he also knows it wasn’t right.
2 Likes
I’d consider it a problem if just the two of them waited until you went to bed and snuck off to drink in the hot tub. But if they were in there with everyone else and then everyone else got out, I’d say it’s innocent and you’re just looking for a reason to start shit.
You clearly don’t trust him 
3 Likes
If it is bothering you that he did it, then yes it is wrong. Each relationship is different. People are on here saying stop being so petty and others are saying it’s wrong he did it. That just goes to show everyone has a different opinion of what is okay in a relationship. So it’s important for you to communicate with your man on how you feel. If it was bothering you, you should have went out and asked him if he could come there and help you for a moment then tell him behind closed doors that you felt like it was inappropriate, no need to call him out and blast him infront of anyone. I feel like most the time people come online and ask if something is okay that their significant other has done looking for validation of their feelings and personal response to a situation. If it is something that is bothering you then that is the important thing and if your significant other cares about you and loves you they won’t do things that make you uncomfortable or upset.
It all boils down to… talk to your husband about how you feel! Communicate!
1 Like
Her husband was also there and obviously trusted his wife
3 Likes
Time for you to grow up, trust your husband and marriage or get out. But talk to your husband before going on fb
1 Like
You don’t trust him you’re insecure about him.
1 Like
I would have handed him his blanket and let him sleep in the hot tub too . I’d be pissed out there relaxing with another woman while u have your hands full and head on straight👌
8 Likes
I am thinking husband could have also helped with the baby so wife could also have friend time.
9 Likes
Its not exactly cheating but very disrespectful. No way I’d stay in a hot tub with a man after everyone else left.
11 Likes
No. You could have joined them at any time.
1 Like
Uh. Leave him. Hes fucking her
It would not bother me if it were my husband and the same circumstances. Of course we have been married for almost 49 years and we have had similar circumstances on occasions but I trust him completely as he does me. He has never given me reason not to.
The main question is do you trust your husband? I always said if I can’t trust my husband there is no relationship. Trust is a big part of it as you can’t always control what each other do do, without trust you will have a toxic relationship with constant arguments.
2 Likes
I don’t think its inappropriate if people are still there. What can they really do without potentially being caught?
I’d be more pissed off that he didn’t trade off at some point.
5 Likes
If it were me, I wouldn’t like it. But I also wouldn’t have let it happen. Getcha a$$ in this cabin and help with you kids lmfao
1 Like
It’s all about trust. If you don’t trust him about that I’d be rethinking something’s and as to why you don’t😐 but at the same time for hours apon hours a woman is gunna feel a certain way the same he would probably feel. Do I think it’s inappropriate for the extended time yes… But is your husband also not allowed female friends🥴
3 Likes
In general it’s not a good idea for a married man to sit up late talking alone to a woman that’s not his wife. The hot tub kind of aggravates the situation. It might not have been intentionally bad on his part. Sometimes men just don’t think about things like that. I’d talk to him about your feelings, without making any accusations about his intentions. It would probably be good if you two have a separate conversation about healthy marital boundaries that you two can agree on.
4 Likes
There really could be a few outlooks on this. It REALLY depends on yalls relationship. Don’t listen to all these people saying “sounds like you’re insecure “ that’s not the point!! Would your husband have an issue with you and another man sitting in a hot tub for hours drinking and talking while he was caring your the child? If so, you have EVERY right to be a little uncomfortable about it. Personally, I would not be upset with the fact my husband was in the hot tub with a girl alone that was a friend. I would be more upset I had to tend to the children by myself! I don’t feel it’s something to go crazy about, but definitely worth voicing that you were uncomfortable about it and let him know how you feel (not in an aggressive way). And leave it at that!! We all have our moments momma! You’re not “insecure” for having one of them. Keep your head up.
5 Likes
Not cheating but disrespectful asf. Nope. Wouldn’t be having it. I woulda went and got him tho.
4 Likes
I wouldn’t be sitting in a hot tub, drinking with another man while my husband was inside taking care of our children. Just the thought makes me uncomfortable. I don’t even have to ask; my husband and I are on the same page. It’s inappropriate, no matter how innocent the conversation.
19 Likes
Depends on how your husband would react if the roles were reversed !
2 Likes
Inappropriate
End of discussion
3 Likes
Ahhh stop id bate him off her:joy: trust or not 
bangbang
1 Like
If you trust him, then it’s not inappropriate. But… he should know helping his wife with his child is the right thing to do.
1 Like
I think the real issue is that his wife didn’t get to have any hot tub drinking time. Why does dad get to enjoy their vacation and mom just gets to do the same thing she does at home but in a different location?
24 Likes
If they dont know each other and stayed when everyone else got out, I’d feel disrespected. That would usually be a super awkward moment for most ppl. I’d never do that to my spouse and I’d expect the same. Yes I trust him but I dont trust many other ppl. I think it’s simply being considerate, especially if I was inside with our child. Situation should be avoided
5 Likes
Hmm so he left you to tend to y’all’s child while he got to have fun with the others. That would had been my first problem with this situation. I’m sure you would loved to have hung out too. I would expect it to be both of us or none of us in that situation. Then yes id have a huge problem with him hanging out drinking after midnight with a female. ESPECIALLY while I’m not able to because I have to be the responsible one with the toddler.
7 Likes
I have no problem with my man talking to other women. I have never considered different situations, like you mentioned.
Catching up to friends is not cheating. Fucking them is a whole different story.
It’s inappropriate. When everyone else left he should have too.
5 Likes
You know your husband, what do you think he would of done if it was the other way around ?
2 Likes
It depends… if the roles were reversed and he was inside with the kids and you were outside in the hot tub with another man by yourselves, how would your husband feel?
If he would feel uncomfortable, as I’m assuming you do. Then yes its very inappropriate.
Its all about the boundaries in your relationship.
Not what anyone else thinks.
8 Likes
I wouldn’t like it at all
2 Likes
I would have walked out in my bathing suit and told him it was his turn, seen his reaction to that and hers and determined how I felt about it, if he was mad or if she got out right away I would be LIVID
7 Likes
Yeah, naw. I would go off idc
1 Like
The question is do you think it’s inappropriate for your relationship… what might be ok in one relationship might not be ok in another… thats a talk you and your hubby have to have
3 Likes
Would you be ok if they had been sitting on the back porch having a beer and chatting? I think if you trust your partner, then the setting of him chatting with another human doesn’t matter.
It’s also ok to have some distrust and not be ok with it. I’m just saying I wouldn’t be more worried just because they were in a hot tub.
1 Like
I would have gone unglued. Husband and the other lady had no reason to be in the tub together regarding if they done anything or not.
I would be a little jealous. More so I would be upset with him to be out having fun without me. Another woman is totally different than with his buddies.
This group is wild
4 Likes
It’s not inappropriate.
1 Like
That’s not inappropriate but okay?