Talk to him about it, if he don’t listen stop doing everything he will get the hint then and when he says why isn’t this or that done tell him if he wants it done then he can do it himself if he isn’t willing to help you bc you work too and are just as exhausted as he is it isn’t fair to you and if things are gonna get done then he needs to help do them. Tell him you understand he may be tired but YOU are too! Make his feelings known BUT MAKE YOURS KNOWN:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Hope everything works out for you love 
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Kick his ass to the curb. Why do you need him? He does nothing to be a partner. It’s like having an adult child. Be good to yourself & get rid of dead weight.
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You have to work together for the smooth running of the household when you have kids.Its not always easy though.
Been there done that hated it got out of it
I think if your asking these questions on a public forum, you deep down already know the answer.
You need to sit down and lay how you feel in the open with him, everything.
Then you need to decide your next move, if he changes and helps - perfect (I hope he does, because he should. And it does happen) or next move could be that you’ve decided the best for you and your children is to have a life where you are happy.
He needs to step up, with or without you……
Massive hugs for you though, it’s a tough time x
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Sounds very selfish! It takes more than 1 in a relationship to make it work!
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Have you talked to him about this is the real question. Because you cant put it all on him if you were just doing it out of love and then he has become accustomed to it. I garuntee if you ask him to help he would but instead you would rather make him out to be the ahole without ever having brung up the issue with him first.
I would continue to do all those things without him.
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Sit down with him and talk, tell him you need help around the house. If he is ready to help,good if not tell him to pay for a house help.thats it. Some men think they are god and women are their slaves. Put your foot down. Or stop doing everything and when he comes home and points out tell him to do it himself. You are not the maid
Oooh I love it when a husband (or boyfriend) thinks we’re still in the 1950s. I rip them apart (tastefully) by asking questions and picking their brains. It kind of allows them to see their way of thinking isn’t at all fair… and for them to be seen by others has to how unfair and selfish they are.
In all honestly, I think you know it isn’t fair and that it’s time to have an honest discussion with your husband.
Don’t doubt yourself while having this conversation- you deserve your “me time” just as much as he does!
Of course I understand some couples are different, if it’s already agreed by both parties one parent will take on certain responsibilities, I will always respect it. I won’t ever interfere just because a woman is doing the housework and taking care of the kids.
It probably is not fair but is there anything around the house the husband does that you don’t like mowing the yard, trash or car repair work? If the marriage is good otherwise I would just do it and not worry about it. Of course if you are heading into a nervous break down due to lack of me time or something then speak up immediately. Marriages that are good are a balance of give and take. So many men cheat, do drugs, an alcoholic or beat a woman. So know if he is good otherwise and appreciate it.
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No it’s not fair. But he may genuinely not know.
I suggest. Maybe he didn’t live on his own. Or his mother was happy to do all the chores. I suggest you sit down when the children are in bed and let him know. The current situation is not working for you.
Agree between the 2 of you how to share the chores.
Make sure both of you have some time to yourself.
Don’t forget time together.
Might be a good time to let him know. That he is a father figure to your daughter and in being with you. He needs to show up for her as well.
He needs to be involved and interested in things she does.
She she grows up in the knowledge she is appreciated and valued by men.
Good luck.
Of course it’s not right that you do everything. I know it’s complicated to leave a marriage with kids.
Shew,I thought slavery was over 
sit him down and tell him he needs to help!!!
Regardless how he is in the rest of the marriage, as its not mentioned the fact he does nothing to help with the offspring or the home is abandonment. My ex did nothing and we didnt have children. He was fine letting me do everything while his grass cutting or snow shovelling(absolute bare minimum)were all he did and still acted like he build a god damned house. The resentment that built up, the exhaustions of caring for two people. The emotional blankness he gave me were enough to near make anyone break. Add on abuse, alcoholic and likely cheater.
I still dont know how i survived that marriage. He left and remarried. Makes me sad to know there is someone else dealing with that horse shit willingly.
We need to demand better for ourselves. That work and responsibility balance is unacceptable. May as well do it alone.
Hire a cleaner and a sitter to enable you to ensure that you get some free times too . Let him pay the bill !
No that’s not right, you should share chores it will eventually get way to much for you.
Exactly the same as me 
He should do stuff too I hate how they think we live in 1940s still where women did everything does my head in I wudent do all that
Speak your mind or forever hold your peace… Y’all married it’s a partnership
Certainly shouldn’t put up with it! Hasn’t he heard of equality or is he living in the dark ages? Sometimes I think their mums are responsible for letting them get away with doing nothing!
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Offer to strike a deal. What you allow is what becomes. Say what you will do and won’t do instead of just doing it.
If you cook every meal, it’s what he knows you will do. If you wash all his clothes, he knows that’s what will happen. If you leave a note for him to do something… tell him also what you are doing. Eg. Put the garbage out, I will put the children In the bath tub.
You can’t expect If you have set those expectations yourself. Tell him you are going out next weekend while he stays home to be a father. Set expectations
You should not have to, but I think old habits are what becomes. Most of the time I think a lot of partners just take it at face value.
Then have the chat If it doesn’t change.
Don’t ask him why. Tell him what you are doing. You don’t need his permission.
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Seem like you are the doing all the loving also. Seem like he find you to be soft I sure he boast off to his friends how he have a slave and not a wife. My dear we woman teach men how to treat us.
Sooner or later your going to feel trapped. If I were you I would have a talk with him about it and tell him.if ge loves you and wants it to work things need to change now.
Nope, it’s not right.
But whilst you continue to plod on and be a full time wife, mother and worker, it will continue with you doing everything!
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Tell him. He’s not your child . If he doesn’t change, suggest he take annual leave, so YOU can go on holiday, that way he can do it all himself maybe he’ll appreciate u more.
Start going out in the evenings couple days a week as well, to see family friends or even stuff on your own, as you don’t go anywhere he’s used to that. Start building a life outside of home , like he has.
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Pretty simple really
Settle him down and make corrections for a better tomorrow
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it fair for me to do everything? - Mamas Uncut
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Tell him to pick up the slack … takes two to make Kids so there half his responsibilities too …
Go on strike. Make him see what you do everyday and make him help you.
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I’d tell him to step tf up or step out.
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Ur not his momma. It’s 50/50 boom or leave!!! Yup
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Reading this, you just described my life. We have 5 kids. 2 adults with 3 youngest in the house. The children have chores. My husband does all the yard work and I do all the house work. Sounds like you need a break momma. I pray you get one soon.
There’s absolutely no way I would tolerate that behavior. You’re not his servent and shouldn’t be treated as one. A lengthy conversation is in order.
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Not fair but men will never see it that way!!
Nope. Tell him to do it and grow up
Babe you’re already a single parent so just make it official 
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Ho on vacation without him!
Speak with your partner. Don’t have a conversation while you’re upset. Share your thoughts and vulnerable side. Ask for help without blasting him about his spare time.
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Shot I thought I wrote this Wholey dang this is my life summed up to except we have 4 kids , I lost my shi+ and told him I’m not his mum and he better start helping around the house before I step out and leave him to do everything on his own
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No its not fair at all!!!
Why do people post this stuff on here, you already know what to do, and the person you should be talking to is your partner, not face book.
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I’d hide his car keys so he cant go anywhere and tell him to stop being a live in deadbeat and spend some time with his children
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What you allow is what will continue
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No it’s not fair make boundaries now it never will get better.
Sounds like your PARTNER…HAS IT MADE IN THE SHADE, WHY CHANGE…
This was my life for 19 years, until I left…after years of begging and asking for help, a partner. He has realized his years of wrong and if full of remorse. Truly remorseful for putting me thru that. We are not working on getting back to where we use to be. Prayers for you. It’s a long, lonely, miserable road and some day you will probably have anger and animosity when you look back.
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Sit him down and tell him he is required to take care of the house and kids, not just himself.
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I’m a single mom of 5. I do everything. But when I had a partner, we split almost everything. We each had 2 nights a month specifically to do girl/guy things on our own and twice a month had a date. Could be more in a month, but never less.
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Things only happen that you allow. Don’t like it, change it. 
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This is me 100%. Work full time. Do all cooking, dishes, cleaning, laundry, and taking care of my son. Husband does nothing but play on his computer
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There’s one simple answer to this and it’s NO!!! You need to sit him down and talk to him about this sternly and let him know you are serious but without yelling. Tell him it’s time to pick up the slack or move out as you are already doing the role of a single parent with an extra adult child 
and it’s not fair on you. Good luck
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Divorce him. You married a child.
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Express to him that you want to share the house work & dinner. Divide up the chores, set a time that y’all both clean, or select different days. He would have to do his own house work if he lived alone, so there’s no reason he shouldn’t be doin it now. Jst let him kno how you feel. & If he tries tellin you he won’t do it, you have to decide whether it’s worth endin the relationship. My husband works & I’m a stay at home mom, homeschool my kids, & go to school myself. He’ll help me with house work if I ask him to, but I don’t mind that we don’t split it. Bc he makes me happy, & I’m happy with our relationship & our dynamic, I choose to do it by myself. He gets to come home & spend time with the kids, & it frees me up to clean. But if I wanted to split it, he would do it, bc happy wife, happy life. Gotta have good communication skills in a relationship & the important part is that y’all hear each other. Nothing is black & white though, every relationship is different & every person is different. Find what works for y’all, & if it doesn’t work, then you prepare yourself to leave the relationship.
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Tell him next time he goes out, you’re changing the locks.
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Sounds like you know the answer girl!
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I think this is the life of a mom, we see everything and it must be perfect at all times. Men can step over, around and simply just not notice everything WE do. This was/is my life as well I was miserable and we had a lot of problems I was so focused on marking everyone happy except myself I decided I will still be a great mom and wife but I needed to focus on what made me happy as well I started doing crossfit (my idea of fun) I started learning how to communicate with my husband i ASKED when I needed him to do stuff and told him he is my hero for helping out. I asked him to sit with me while I wash dishes. Its been quite a journey but there is balance and im happy. I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself spiritually. I listen to La Jefa experience with rocio sisco on YouTube its a BOSS woman/mom podcast she’s amazing. I also listen to alphahippie with angelo sisco its a mens pod cast gives me insight on a man’s perspective. If you love your family your home your life don’t give up fight for your happiness your destiny. Make time for you for you and him for family day. Good luck sister
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Time to reevaluate the marriage. Have a talk with him. If it don’t change kick him to the curb. Alimony & child support then you can hire help.
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I wise old man told me long ago, that people only get away with what you let them get away with. Make a list for him to do, and stick with it.
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Not fair at all! He sounds like an overgrown child… disgusting on his part.
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No it’s not fair, but you allow it. My SO used to be like that and I told him it’s not right. I quit doing everything and he stepped up and picked up the slack.
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I have 6 kids and I think we are just in survival mode. They just don’t get it
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Leave him with the kids and the mess. Tell him if he helps you then you both can go out. Do things as a family.
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If talking to him doesn’t work then I’d just do half the chores, and go out and have my social life.
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Married couple should share the load. I’m a SAHM and my husband and I both work to get things done around here.
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Talk to him the way you’re asking on social media. Give him a honey do list and share some of the responsibilities! But he may just be going through the motions and not feeling the relationship. Communication is most important!
Damn girl you already living like a single Mama, might as well make it official! He sounds like a piece of trash that you don’t need anyways!
Idk it sounds like the life of a working mom to me. That’s my life exactly.
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Of course it isn’t.
If you had a business partner and you shared the proceeds of the business equally but you did most of the work would you let this happen? Nope you wouldn’t. So why do women put up with this B’s in the home? This is partly your fault for letting it happen and not communicating with him what you expect out of him as a partner. It is his fault too because he has been taking advantage of you not speaking up and saying no way buddy do your share.
Sit down with him and write down what needs to be done daily weekly and monthly. Decide whom is responsible for each thing on the list. When the list is made it is now 100% this person’s responsibility for the items listed. Now that of course there should be some give and take but this should help make him more responsible for some of the work load without you having to ask him…he will just know he needs to do it.
Also, don’t ask for help. Asking him to help you insinuates that it is your responsibility and he is your helper…no!!! Just don’t go there. Everyone whom shares a home needs to be responsible.
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Is this the way it started and has always been? If you let it be this way for so long you can’t expect someone to just start doing things they’ve never done. Men are simple. Ask them to help and they will. If your man isn’t willing to help then he’s not a good man and that’s a whole other problem.
I’m almost convinced that the owner of this page makes up all these stories. Not everyone has grammar this bad.
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Girl leave. He doesn’t appreciate you
My ex boyfriend was laaaaaazy. Our cat we adopted at least killed bugs and found my lost hair ties! I Finally told him I was a mom but not his mom and left him. I have six kids and I certainly don’t need another! The only thing he could do was cook, he was a sous chef but I had to practically die on the floor before he would pull his lazy butt off the couch. He never cleaned, refused to do laundry, claimed grocery shopping gave him anxiety and never once cleaned our only child’s litterbox! I grew so resentful that when he moved to the couch, I was happy to have my own bedroom. He hated my kids and family around, which didn’t surprise me because he couldn’t stand his own parents/only brother. He had one kid and didn’t even fight for custody after he lost her. He was king complainer and acted like he knew everything and everybody else was stupid or under him. He was cheap and I could count on him for canceling date night (everytime!) and never remembering my birthday or our anniversary! The only good thing was he never cheated on me, but our sex live was non-existent as well. After writing this, I can’t believe I stayed with him for 5 of the longest, loneliest, miserable years of my life! Ugh! After him I will probably remain single because he turned me off men and relationships FOREVER!!!
Well, if it were me, I’d think about it like this, if I’m doing everything on my own already, I might as well be on my own. I’d leave him. But, I’ve been in bad relationships and refuse to take care of anyone like that. If my partner isn’t contributing to the relationship as much as I am, I’m over it pretty quick
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You already know the answer to that question.
Nope that’s not Fair at all.talkvto him to pitch in…or start cooking for himself clean after himself laundry lunch. Another word “” He dnt have a maid you quit! Hope best for u n ur girls.
Usually what happens. . Time for communications what he can help you with and so on. I was an unpaid skivvy
Just clean up the mess and dishes you make. He can clean up after himself.
Sounds like my exact life
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Stop doing it and live your life the way you want 2
You both need “your own time” but… that comes after family/home obligations are met.
Maybe he might be getting a little too comfortable with you always doing everything.
Talk, communicate, explain your needs/expectations. From experience, definitely don’t do it when you’re already frustrated with the situation in the moment…try when when you’re calm, etc.
I have 5 kids, they’re all mine and not my boyfriends, he’s an electrician that works away & still does more than his share in his week off, including watch my baby while I work and anything I ask around the house and give the other kids attention/ love when they require or I don’t feel up to it. He didn’t have to be told to do this or even asked, he just does.
Your partner is doing bare minimum and they are his kids and it’s his house, that is not ok 
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it fair for me to do everything? - Mamas Uncut
I def make sure I make time for me - if he doesn’t then I find a sitter and I go do my things or go out w friends - plain and simple
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You deserve better. Time to do something about this. Have a serious chat with him and then decide what to do after that…. It could become a legal matter if he does not respond well…. But maybe, he will wake up and smell the coffee🤔
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I’d get a divorce, and I did !
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Mine did the same, it never changed. My daughter grew up with him in the house but never paying attention to her. I was the only parent. Last year, I left him. She’s almost 15 and doing much better. Is it ideal right now, no but it’s better than I was before.
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This was my life. We ended up separating when my daughter was 2 months old. I’ve been so much happier. The decision is yours but it starts with a conversation with your partner about expectations and needs. Once that is discussed then you would go from there but both parties need to be willing to participate and work towards making an improvement.
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You may as well be alone he isn’t much of a partner
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I did it with 5 kids. That was a long time ago and that’s the way it was then. We didn’t whine or even expect help. My kids are grown and have kids that I help with. Still married after 42 years. I survived it. Guess we were tougher back then.
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Put your foot down and tell him what you want. That’s the way they want you to do it. If you don’t tell them, they won’t automatically know!
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I always split chores with my two wives.
I usually did the cooking and dishes long with the laundry while my 1st wife kept the house.
With my second wife, we actually did more chores together but split the kitchen duties. I cooked breakfast and prepped the ingredients for dinner or lunch and she cooked those two meals. We each had signature meals that we were very good at so we would take turns doing them. Mine was ribs and hers was pizza pasta. We found that sharing chores could be fun and especially lead two bedroom activities when you got distracted while remaking the bed.
So I think couples should share chores as much as possible. But make sure that each person is doing a chore that they can accomplish successfully.
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You may have to leave with child but try Karen Lais’ system . Stop cooking. Take care of your baby and yourself . Wash your baby’s and your clothing . Leave the dishes in the sink until all are piled up . Then wash the minimum that you will use. If he gets physical call the cops . Either he will walk out and save you the the trouble of leaving. His lack of contributing is unacceptable.
Oh by the way ; my wife of 63 years says she’s going to come back as a man .
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If I’m going to do it all by myself, I’ll be happy to do it by myself.
My husband had never made boxed macaroni and his ma would still do his wash… but he’s learned that I’m not his ma and he will help out or get out. 4 kids, a grand baby and a dog… I have plenty to entertain myself, I promise.
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He has a social life??
Why do you clean so much? Real life doesn’t look like Better Homes and Gardens. Children are work!! Marriage is work.
Play with your child on Saturday, instead of cleaning.
Your husband cook? Have him buy and cook dinner for all of you. Or order out. Kids like pizza.
They will grow so fast. Make time for the kids, and get your husband on board.
Ask him to take clothes from wash to dryer.
You’re not alone. It’s overwhelming.
Slow down, catch a breath.
You got this !!!
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I left either the kids after asking him to do his share. I figured if I was doing it all, I could do it all on my own and have one less person to worry about.
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My advice is tell your husband a marriage is two people working together in all things that includes house hold chores, then tell him " you either step up or you can leave choice is yours". Other wise your just being his door mat… sorry but that’s just how I see it as a man that wouldn’t and doesn’t do that.
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That’s not a partner, that a third kid.
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I would get his butt into a counselors office and explain…he can change his ways or you will change them for him.
It’s not a doable long term plan because you can’t…no one can …do it all … without breaking.
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