Is it fair for me to do everything?

He has it made! He has a nice soft bed with you in it. He is not taking over any responsibilities at home. You are caring for the children, home and work. He has no legal responsibility except child care cost for his biological children. Doubt he will change. Don’t complain. It’s up to you. Are you going to continue with this or make a change

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I get so frustrated when I hear about these guys .
It’s a partnership, not servitude.
Making a meal and cleaning up are great times to discuss the day , communicate and bond.
More hands , less work .
The sooner you both get the everyday required chores done - the sooner BOTH of you can relax .
And if it is relevant- make sure your sons do household chores as well.
They are necessary survival skills!

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You need to communicate that to him. Make a list/ schedule that EVENLY DIVIDES everything from housework, kids, and guys night/ girls night. So you both get to split both the burden and fun. If he says no or doesn’t stick to it you need to leave. 1000% at least if you leave you’ll get a break when he has his turn with visitation of the kids AND you won’t have to clean/ care/ cook for another adult

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My husband always took care of the yard. trash and cars. He did ask me once what I thought about him not doing any of those things and I asked him what did he think about me mot going the house cleaning, laundry and cooking that was the end of that conversation.But years ago my husband tried that going out without any consideration for me. So I got a babysitter and went out with my friends. We ended up running into each other and he decided he wanted us to go home, so we did and once we were home he said if I don’t have anyone to come home to maybe I just won’t come home. So I replied well I didn’t have anybody to sit home with so I went out to.
That was the end of him going out. He didn’t like not knowing if I would be sitting at home or not
We still did things with our own friends but we communicated about our plans and didn’t take advantage of each other. Yes, we had 2 young daughters at the time.

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Another kid you have there.need to sit down and have a good talk.tell him your true feelings on this matter and smartin up.

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The first 20 years of my 42 yr marriage were very similar. The next 16 years was very diffrent. We shared most things and both had huge social life together and apart. The last 6 were so sad. He became disabled and his health failed slowly, then rapidly. Then he was gone. Mowing a lawn on Sunday (10 minutes at a time) and just gone the next day. Sharing everything was wonderful and the best years. If you want that wonderful, just have a talk not a fight, about how you dont feel like a partner. And you want to be a partner. If he isnt interested in a partner, it is all your choice. Just remember, if you stay, you can never voice your frustration again. Because you chose it. He needs to know disrespect does cause love to dry up. Best of luck, whichever you choose.

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Set. Some. Boundaries.
He bahaves the way you’ve allowed him to behave.
If you’ve set boundaries and he just ignores them to do what he wants… It’s time for intervention or parting ways.

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Have a conversation with him about how you feel about this and if he continues then you get a life. Anything can be achieved with planning. Get a sitter, get help, plan a day out alone or with friends. You shouldn’t be doing it all alone that’s why you have a partner

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He’s setting a bad example for the kids. You have every right to feel the way you do! Maybe you should write out on a piece of paper what your responsibilities are and then what his responsibilities are. Maybe when he sees that he’ll realize what you’re actually doing…. Everything!

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Divorce springs to mind…
Don’t waste your years on a non partner. Trust me you wasted 26 yrs and ended up divorced. Now I’m with a man that our a lot more tentative and loving.

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You QUIT doing it all! Talk to him tell him he needs to do his share! Your not his mama and you don’t run a hotel! Tell him to grow up and start doing his share! You shouldn’t have to ask him to do stuff he should JUST HELP! He needs to step up or GET OUT! Don’t take his CRAP!

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You need to talk with him before your resentment takes over. Do you ask him for help? He might surprise you. Taking care of a six month old is a handful all by itself.

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I do 100% of the deep cleaning, but he does 100% of the daily chores - dishes, trash, etc. He does the yard work. We feel it’s fair. We pick up where one slacks, or if someone is having a bad day. It’s a team effort.

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If it was me my kids would have chores around the house and help ther mum so should your partner if you have one and if you don’t and kids are to young to help yet well that’s our job to do it’s a cruel world for women

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Sorry love, you’re just being used. I’m sure you have pointed out to him how unfair he is and he hasn’t changed. He won’t change. Ever. Don’t waste your life. You only get one. Once you’re free of him there’s a chance you could find a loving relationship. Good luck x

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It’s past time for change in your household. Stop doing it all. If he isn’t going to help don’t do his cooking, laundry and let the house go. Now, you could get a housekeeper. Please have your oldest help with a few chores, and teach her how to laundry. She needs to know basic life skills. Good luck.

Very common complaint. He needs to take some responsibility. You cook,he does the dishes.How old is your oldest. She can help. She canclear table. Help you with dinner, learn to do laundry. Hubby can watch the baby while you cook,he can go
shopping. Have someone watch the kids and you go out with another couple. Have him watch the kids and you go out with friends once a month at least.

Make my boys clean but my partner does no housework never have day off cleaning .but have decided myself to do classes in plates and visit my family vin evening when I have dinner made for them all.no time out from house :two_hearts:

I do think that a working wife doing all stuff at home while the husband does nothing for a share is seriously unfair. Since both of you are earning it’s a must to Have shared-parenting roles at home. I guess you should start addressing the issue to your husband. He needs to be sensible enough to your needs a wife especially when it comes to support and assistance.

I stopped and dipped! To hell with THAT! I’m nearly 2 years free of that type of hell and I have never been happier. Do whats best for you… Remember, little eyes are watching. What would your advice to them be if they were in YOUR spot?
Stay strong… But true to yourself as well. :purple_heart:

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That’s incredibly unfair! He needs to do his share. Sit down with him. Between you make a list of household/cleaning for each of you. As far as the children, you should both go to school events when possible. Obviously you can’t split time to help/be with them. He just needs to understand that you are not the only parent :purple_heart::purple_heart:

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Relationships are 50/50. When kida are old enough they can help housework
My theory is everyone eats this making dishes, everyone wears clothes thus making washing and so on and so on. The children are yours together you didn’t make them alone.

My husband and I split things. We both work , we have kids in travel sports and school sports so it is weekly games, practice drops and such, we do the shopping together, if I’m dropping off he’s cooking dinner if he’s dropping off I’m cooking. We both clean, we both do laundry. No reason why yours can not do the same things.🤷 Unless he doesn’t want to, then you need to rethink your wants in life and make a life change.

My first husband was a chef in a top class restaurant with one day off a week. So this is how it went. Daytime we spent together as a family shopping, time with our daughter in the evening
week 1 his time week 2 date night week 3 my time
Week4 date night worked out ok.

I always tell my husband that if I die before him he’ll be in big trouble because he doesn’t know how to do anything. As long as he runs the vacuum cleaner for me I’m happy. He is a fantastic cook so he does that on Sunday. I’ve done it all for 42 yrs. At least I know where everything is and its reachable. He’s 6’1 and I’m 5’2. We got married in the June Cleaver era and I did it all. He works in a steel mill and its dirty and hot. I raised 2 great kids and was a factory nurse full time but it never bothered me. I’m not being rude but I like being the head of the household, you’ll just have to figure this out on your own. Tell him he either helps or you’ll hire someone to help. I had a heart attack not to long ago so he does more now.

Let him read what you just wrote and then discuss it with him

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I made the mistake of not asking for help thinking if he can’t see it I’m not asking. It got me nowhere. Ask

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Try explaining to him that you need him to help out more around the house with household chores as well as participating in taking care of the children remind them that these children belong to both of you not just you and that you need him to help out around the house and how much you would appreciate it and how much would it mean to you let him know that you feel like this is him taking care of you and if he still won’t do it then you might need to consider separating yourself from this man because apparently he’s not ready to be a father or a husband

What partner? All you are is his mommy with benefits!!

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It’s his emotional mindset…he is comfortable with it and not likely to change…that’s likely why there has been no legal marriage commitment. That gives him an easy out for which he will hold you responsible. There is help…your church(if you don’t have one find one. ) Contact Social Service and or free Legal Aid. Make clandestine plan of escape before it’s too late. He hasn’t made a commitment but with two children he has made you his slave . Get Out.

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Make a schedule and tell him you need to follow it. It’s important for you to have your mom personal time. It makes for a better mother and a better wife

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How long have you been married? I’ve been married 40 years and early on I felt the same way. Especially when the kids came. We both work together now and I can tell you at work he runs circles around me. At home, not so much. Communication is the key. Sometimes it’s not pretty but it has to be done. Do you spring clean for you or for the family? I always said it was for the family but I realized it was more for me than anyone else. I like my living area neat and tidy but not everyone cares as much. Divide the chores and don’t go back and fix it afterward…
Do you feel like he can’t do for your children like you want it done?
I am asking these questions because our husband’s don’t think the way we do and you can’t change someone to think the way we do.
Work on you. I felt every thing you said and still do at times. My advice would be to work on you. Take more time for yourself then work on your husband. Sometimes we can get so tired that we can’t see what our partner has accomplished. Make a rule for everyone to help more with the house and the yard. With a 6th month old baby I am sure you are stressed out with all of your responsibilities. Maybe he thinks you can just do it better.
Good luck to you.

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My ex husband was the same. I got fed up and kicked his arse out.
It took me a while to do as he made me believe I couldn’t do life on my own and that I needed him but when I realised I do it all anyway and worked out I didn’t need him I ended it.

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I was married but a single parent. My ex husband did nothing but work to pay his bills, support his bad habits, support his gambling etc. He never had time for our children or our family. Now he has all the time in the world because I divorced him. My nonexistent marriage wasn’t worth ALL of the headaches that came with it, including domestic violence. He’s not going to change, believe me. He has it too good. He has help paying the bills, a caregiver, maid, chef, nanny, etc. Yes, life is really, really good for him. If you’re not married then you need to do some serious soul searching and reevaluate your life. You can do all that you’re doing by yourself. If you’re married try discussing it with him or couples therapy.
#HerSay

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Write down a list of everything that meeds to be done including the toilets. Everything! Then tell him you’re tired of doing it all. Tell him he needs to step up and take half or more because you would like to spend quality time with you children and would like to see you friends as well. If he says no then tell him you’ll be hiring a housekeeper and will be going to purchase premade dinners as well amd let him know that you will let him lnow when you have plans so he needs to coordinate what days he plans on going to see his buddies because from this point forward thats the way it will be. Tell hum that you feel he is taking advantage of your kindness and you do these things for the love of your family but you’re not stupid and you can plainly see thay he is taking advantage of you which is hurtful! Don’t do his laundry either and put the towels somewhere else. He’ll get the idea. Tell him he gets to rest when the evening duties are done. You cook and he does dishes amd while thats going on he can do the laundry as well. Tell him if he doesnt know how you will teach him. My husband helps alot willingly because he doesnt like me to have to be the only one taking care of things and i don’t work outside of the home either! If you cant sot down amd talk with him just write it out amd hand it to him. Be nice bit be matter of fact
Too. They are his children as well and you are his wife amd he needs to help and respect
You. It would be good if he took his turn taking your daughter to her events as well for their relationship to show he cares. I had to have this talk with my hubby many years ago but when i explained things it was like a light bulb went off in his mind because he truly didnt see it or the things that needed to be done. He might get miffed initially but work through it. Just expect some bumps along the way. Its a learning curve. In fairness you cant get mad at him if he doesnt know or see it but once you explain things and show him in detail and ask him to do things while you’re up and on your feet everynight and give him the chance to make things right. Once You do though, if he loves you and cares about you them he will step up. If he doesn’t then maybe his heart isnt in the right place. If he doesnt do it just go sit in his favorite place to lounge and ask him whats for dinner. Lol
Then you have some decisions to make. Just a few thoughts. Hope this helps.

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It’s sad but that’s what a lot of relationships are. You need to put your kids 1st after your job. You chose to bring them into this world along with him but if he doesn’t want to do his share worry about your kids he can deal with himself. Cooking cleaning laundry yard work. Don’t do any of it for him until he starts doing 50/50

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Find a reliable sitter or have him to look after the kids and have a girls night out to the movie and dinner

Everything should be shared. One person should not be doing more than the other. Even breast feeding can be shared nowadays. Pray

Walk out the front door and go for a coffee come sit and ask him what’s for dinner

Sounds exactly like my ex! Expected me to split all the bills with him, but also expected me to do everything around the house like a stay at home mom would do. Except I wasn’t a stay at home mom. And then he constantly bitched about finances, but he never volunteered to grocery shop or buy things for our house. He would let his toilet get so filthy, it seriously looked like a gas station toilet and when I asked him to clean it because it was disgusting, he’d call me a nag. Had to stay on him to clean up dog poop and he also called me a nag!! Well if he would just take care of his share around the house, I wouldn’t have to nag!!! I started to resent him horribly and we have recently decided to go our own separate ways. I hope he realizes how much work it takes to keep up a house without his live in maid and nanny!!!

id sit husband down and and explain how you feel its no good saying this to all us if you wont say it to your husband tell him once a month you are having a day off on a what ever day you want and thats your day like he has his day off once a month tell him he needs to pull his pants up and take responsibility of his home and family

No. I do everything at home but that’s because I stay home to look after the home and children while my husband goes to work to bring in the money. My job is house. But if your both working full time you both should be sharing the house too!!

Give him a list of things to do on a big board… Tell him it has to go both ways… You can do your part then he needs to go somewhere who will take care of him… I deal with that sometimes with mine, but I tell him to help me or do something and he does it…

Everyone needs time for them. Even with kids and a useless significant other. First, you need to sit with him and tell him how you feel. Second, also tell him that once a week you’re going to do something by yourself just for yourself from now on. So if he happens to notice you gone here and there, you told him ahead of time. You can start with something small like a Starbucks drink if you want, but hun, you deserve a massage! A splurge of a shopping trip all on you! A night out out with your lady friends!! Love yourself or you forget you love the ones you spend all that time caring for.

Let him know how you feel and start making plans with friends. Definitely let him know how you feel and let him know you are not his slave and that is relationships are a 2 way street. If he cares about your relationship he will make changes. If not, don’t be so available.

Have you asked him to do specific duties to equalize the load? Such as, would you do the dishes while I run some laundry?

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Take names off and show him this post and ask him what this wife should do. Open a conversation. Good luck.

What always amazes me most is that you don’t discuss expectations as a couple before you live together!

I remember once hearing a family member scream at a 6 year old to “go do your homework” …??? No study place had even been set up for her. Maybe take a step back and start allocating what you want him to do. Nicely. Calmly. Because right now you’ve got it all handled like superwoman so…

People treat you the way you allow them to. Your kids should be helping out too.

Stop cleaning tell him he is watching the kids your going out and then leave for the day he will see what you do every day hopefully he will start helping if not just make enough dinner for you and your children tell him you were to busy to cook for him

That’s what I used to do. Heaven forbid you get sick my ex didn’t lift many fingers to help either. So one day I packed it in and left. So much better to just take care of me.

Tell him no more going out with the guys cause y’all can’t afford it anymore. That money now goes to a house keeper and nanny and his part is 50% of what ever it costs. If he asks why just scoff at him and walk away.

My husband babysat our kids one day. He said they all started to cry at once. The oldest was 5. He probably yelled. We had 4 at that time. He started taking me out more. Didn’t last but a few months. He was in the Navy and when he came back after a few months it was back to normal. His. :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

Have you talked about your expectations together?
Have you both laid out the boundaries of your relationship and needs?
Sometimes true communication is needed to mend this.
Also, sometimes it’s easy to end up in the “mother” roll just because it’s easier to get it done and avoid conflict. But when we do it all and don’t set make our needs known, and openly share our expectations as a wife- we will feel over worked and over looked.
It’s def a problem if he isn’t unwilling- that’s just a sign of immaturity and entitlement. In that case you start doing the things that meet your needs and the kids- and let him figure all his own out.

I wouldn’t have any more kids with him and sex would be off the table

Girl same it seems like no one in my house knows how to clean or refuses to clean and it pisses me off to no end.

One day I woke up and said I’m gonna do this if he here or not .it wasn’t easy but I’m here to tell you don’t wait forever it’s really good when your over it you will ask yourself why did I wait so long.

I’m a stay home mom and he works when he wants but here’s the thing he dosent help me with kids OR anything xtra he sits back and watches me struggle, it makes me sick that he can sit back and do what ever wants and be OK with himself ignoring his children. He’s actually got the nerve to leave the kids in shitty pants and say isn’t ur mom watching you.

Sounds familiar. A lot of men get married and expect the female to tend to everything. It’s called mom syndrome. You are his wife and mother of his children but because his mom did everything for him and his father he thinks you should do the same. Either suck it up or do something about it. Oh and the excuse (but I love him) crap is just an excuse. If your not happy with your situation, tell him and see if you can come to an agreement. If he doesn’t want to help then you’ve got your answer as to what your dealing with. Good luck!

I would request more help, but probably would not get it. If I did it would be done wrong.

And if you were single, you would do all these things and more! If he’s a jerk, kick him to the curb. If he’s not, talk to him about sharing. Take care of your kids and let the rest go. When he notices, talk to him about fair shares!

Take a week off and do nothing. No cooking, cleaning. Nothing. And go do someone with something with friends. It will kill you but do it. Talking about it doesn’t work. Watch what happens.

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I’m sorry that you believe your contribution is more than your partners. A couple of years ago my medical treatment was destroyed by the CDC and now my husband has to do everything. He retired early because my condition declined so badly. He does everything now. My suffering is severe but having to rely on him to do everything is worse than the pain. If you don’t want to do the job then leave. I’m assuming you aren’t happy with the person you are with so you should end it now.

Just explain to your husband that since you both work outside the home, it’s only fair that you both should also share household duties. If he disagrees, get creative with showing him what he doesn’t appreciate… And the consequences.

I told my girlfriend things have to change i mentally and physically can’t keep going and ur is strainging our relationship. She has changed. Some days are rougher than usual. But if u guys talk and he’s a frequent offender of said agreements get out. U and the kids deserve ur full love and attention. U 2 are both equally grown ass adults who decided to have kids and this life. Not 1 or the other. If he’s 1 sided there’s plenty out there that will step up and love u and the kids. It doesn’t have to marriage but plenty out there for u and the kids

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It won’t be long before you will be taking care of him too. His brain will fail because of the lack of use.

My now ex husband didn’t do anything till I had a car wreck. Luckily he did pick up the slack then but wanted things to go right back to before we’re I did everything and worked more then him so he could be the fun dad with our son. Nope… I took my hard working ass and left him. He can be the fun dad all he wants but I will no longer be there for him to kick around and abuse. I would try talking to him first. He may not even realize you would like some help.

What I always did, husband , kids, work, home, church. Why did I put church last? Thought provoking.

Don’t do it all stop and play with your children before you know it they have kids of their own that’s how fast it goes

Communicate! Ask for help, tackle the tasks together :heart:
Sometimes if they’ve never had to do it, they don’t realize. It takes some time but you have to talk it out!

I’m curious how many of you are still married and how long have you been? Cuz most of you all said leave him. Only a few said, tell him how you feel first.

I’ve seen two postings of women telling her to leave??? She chose to do it she doesn’t have to all she has to do is the necessary make sandwiches order pizza the machine is doing washing buy paper plates tell him to order food and send it home when he starts asking why that is when you tell him you have an infant you work and doing the things you were doing can’t continue unless there’s help you want me to cook you go food shopping wash dishes when we finish or put clothes to dry but trust me if you don’t tell him exactly he’ll pick what to do and will say why didn’t you tell me lol so be upfront why in the world would someone suggest you leave unless he completely refuses then you hire s baby sitter so you can cook or a person that can come twice a week and clean and wash clothes

Raise your kids for next 18 years after that you go out and do what you want ! You chose poorly in life don’t cut your kids short for your bad decisions.

Don’t cook or clean and when he notices which he will then say it’s his turn.

Why are you asking a question you already know the answer to. Stop !! If you are doing it all WHY DO YOU NEED HIM ???

your mama should have told you how you start out is how you’re going to finish so if you wanted to be the happy little housewife and do everything and he let you do everything it’d be hard to change him

When you leave him you’ll still be doing the same things minus the shit you do for him, him on the other hand will be having to do everything you have been doing and have the kids half time, you’ll have a good break then, sounds like he’ll pussy out and only take them on every second weekend though from what you describe and that is tough but you’ll still get weekends for yourself better than now… this marriage is not serving you only him

Take a moment and chat to hubby about it before making any decisions

Make some big changes. Ask for an important meeting to talk about some very serious issues. If there’s no changes or just for a week then back to old ways, then you must save yourself. Actions speak louder than words. So if he doesn’t change then YOU need to change. And don’t warn him first. The more shock value the better chance of things changing. Go on kind of a partial strike. If he doesnt help shop or help with dinner-- then sacrifice yourself to put peanut butter & jelly sandwiches on all y’all’s plates for supper. When he bitches, tell him you’re so tired and if he wants to cook that would be nice. Then say but he will need to pick up what he needs at the store. Next day, same sandwiches. Or bologny. Oh and use only paper plates. This is psychological warfare. And less dishes to wash. When you do laundry, wash only yours and kids clothes.tell him you got too tired. Also, don’t pick up any of his clothes or shoes. Let it lay there till he picks it up. Any plates or bowls or glasses he leaves, LET THEM SIT. A shrink said men do these things–BECAUSE THEY CAN. Now I don’t know age of your kids but by 8 years old, they can load and do a load of clothes and even dishwasher but not yet. Let’s train dad first. Hopefully with these consistent actions he will change and y’all write up a schedule for chores be shared equally. And I personally put a night each week for myself. First I’d go to Walmart or library and went to karaoke when my neighbor friend felt like going.then I bought beading stuff and just went to my friends house making stuff. Ok. Stay strong. You really don’t deserve that only you can train him. If he STILL don’t change-- suggest counseling before your resentment ends the relationship. He needs to value you. God Bless Sweety!!

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Sounds like you don’t need him around! I wouldn’t put up with it! You are suppose to be a team working together.

Give him his walking papers since he never does anything but wants a life of his own. It also seems you alone are raising 3 children instead of 2.

He had the choice

  1. Do your part
  2. I’ll hire someone to do your part.

He did/does it.

He better pull up his socks. In a marriage both partners give 100 percent share in everything yes the husband take care of his household but both should share responsibilities. If that is the case he is not helping then have a chat and take it from there. This is all up to you to make that change. If you have children if they old anough teach them to do chores in the house. The husband should take the lead and help as well. What nonsense is this that they don’t have to do anything marriage is about a couple helping each other.

You are choosing to do it all and it’s your choice. Stop being a martyr! Yes, it all has to be done but you are driving yourself crazy by doing it all. STOP. Learn how to delegate. That’s what marriage is all about. Set YOUR boundaries. If you have to make a list, so be it. Just do it and do a half and half list. Like I said, set your boundaries! Good luck!

Make a list of what responsibilities each of you carries, compare the 2 lists. Ask, are the responsibilities equally shared?

Why is he there? Is the sex worth it? What companionship does he offer. If you are on FB asking us then you know the answer. The loneliness you are suffering will not change. And that’s the issue; he is there, you’re still lonely.

It’s not fair and you deserve to have time to yourself

Has he did this all the time or just recently. Because if he’s did this all along that’s when you should have set down and said this is what’s going to happen if we don’t get on the same page. And I certainly would have another child if I knew he was like he is. Red flag one Him going out and leaving you alone 2nd red flag .Him not helping you 3rd red flag. My husband and I helped each other he worked two jobs and I worked. Him and my older daughter did laundry and supper and dishes when I worked 3rd shift. When he worked both jobs I did the yard work and helped him. Jesus made woman as a help mate we were to help each other. And it’s fine to go one night out. But he should watch the kids so you can have a night out. Or better still get a baby sitter and have a night out together that always draws you closer to each other. My husband and I always had a date night. We were married 63 yrs but we still.had our date night. When you saw him you saw me and vice versa we were always together .I loss him last Jan side affects of covid 19. Like I said its time to have a set down and say what you expect as a couple .maybe he thinks because you aren’t married he has the right to come and go as he pleases. Something to bring up .prayers and much luck to you both .

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Maybe have a conversation, you are setting your daughters up for failure.
Not up to us to decide ‘fair’

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Quit letting him get away with it. He will act like an a— as long as you are willing to put up with it.

Give him an ultimatum Shape up or ship out. You are worth more than this, you only have one life …live ! it

Sounds like you have 3 kids, he never grew up…hes not a husband, he’s a parasite…and he’s slowly killing you and your marriage…time to see a good lawyer…

You are not helping him, mine wouldn’t help at all, worked, washed, cleaned the house and got the groceries whilst he either went to bed or out somewhere. I said one day could you please help me and he answered why you are doing a good job why do you need me to help. I had enough so one day sat on the sofa, kids ran riot. When he came home asked why is the house a mess and why are the girls not dressed and where is my dinner. It was my day off. Did he start help, no way. If we were moving he would disappear, not once did he help. The young ones today(men) know how they need to help. Unfortunately my husband was bought up by his parents saying they the men earn the money and the wives the house and children. Etc…… go away leave him with the children so he has to do all the things you do. It might make him realise things have to change.

You allow him to treat you this way. Don’t allow it anymore. Have “the talk”. He will only get away with what you allow and treat you the way you let him treat you. If you are tired of this and becoming rese truly, it’s past time to let him know things need to change.

WTH do you mean he has a social life? WHY the hell does he and not you? What are you his Slave? Don’t be a fool. He helps or gets OUT…

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Nothing here mentions that you said anything to him directly. Did you? What was his response? If you missed this step then get off Facebook and talk to your husband

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Girl I just left my situation like this and mentally I’m better now that I only do for myself and my kids… He wouldn’t work he wouldn’t clean her wouldn’t help with the kids he wouldn’t do laundry shit he wouldn’t even get a damn job and I was working 40hrs+ a week coming home doing all of that and then on top of it getting my GED I just couldn’t do it …he wouldn’t even take out trash with out pitching a fit!! So i packed my shit and my kids shit and we left…I’ve tried for a year to get him to understand (even With him being verbally abusive) and help and get a job n take care of the kids with me and he didn’t want to help him self so I couldn’t help him anymore… I had enough and now my kids and I are doing better on our own!!

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Have a talk with him of course. Explain he’s not pulling his weight. Insist on changes.

1.he can do his own laundry. You will do yours and the kids. You can show him how if he needs help.

  1. he does dishes and cleans kitchen.

  2. He gets a day out with his friends so once every week or two weeks you are getting a day to yourself. He can take care of the kids or you can hire a babysitter
    And stick to it !!!

  3. He vacuums

  4. More than one bathroom ? He cleans one.
    One bathroom? You take turns.

Don’t be a doormat like I was. Life is too short.

Not married? Not helping? Then NOT FOR YOU. You are already living like a single mom

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