Is it hard to transition from 1 to 2 children?

I and my s/o have been thinking about having another child lately. We have one, and she’s a year old. I know it’s not going to be easy regardless, and I’d like them to be close. I just would like to know how difficult or easy the transition from 1 to 2 is and what age differences work best. Should we wait until she’s older for another, or is it not as bad as its made out to be to have them close?

24 Likes

I had my daughters 3 years apart and they have their moments but they’re also super close. Now my almost 10 year old is gonna have a baby brother and she’s just excited to help out with him.

We have a 4 yo son and just had our daughter. It’s been amazing so far because our son has been excited ever since we told him we would have a baby and he would be a big brother. He loves helping with her and is so gentle and loving.

If you have a choice wait until she is at least 2 yrs old to start trying to get pregnant–she is still a baby and needs your full attention. It can be done of course if closer in age but will make your life much harder!

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but there is almost 4 years between my girls

My girls were born 20 months apart, intentionally. I tried to prepare myself but it was infinitely more difficult than I could have ever imagined. It absolutely rocked my world, in the best way, but it was really hard for a long time. They’re now 5 and 3. It definitely keeps getting easier but it was a hard transition in those early months- and the whole first year was an adjustment.

1 Like

I found out I was pregnant with son on my daughter’s first bday. My daughter just turned 3 and my son is 16M. I love how close they are in age. My daughter is so helpful. Yes sometimes it’s hard but my son wants to do everything his sister is doing so I feel like he is developing quicker but they are best buddies! I wouldn’t change it for the world!

1 Like

It was super easy for us and number three was even easier. Now we are working on a 4th. We have a 6year old. 4 year old and a 2 year old.

1 Like

At first it was difficult but once we got a routine it was easy. We have 9 kids and honestly it’s not that bad dealing with all of them since we got a routine down.

3 Likes

Yep of course it’s hard. All of parenting is hard lol

1 Like

I wouldn’t say harder, but you’re definitely stretched thinner. It just takes a little while to find your groove and routine again. The hardest part will be feedings. My oldest always became “more needy” during feedings.

I have a 4 year old, 2 year old,1 year old and baby number 4 due in December. It’s honestly not bad. Somedays are harder but you get through them :slight_smile:

2 Likes

I was 11 when my parents had a second child and there is 16 months between my brother and sister. I was old enough to be a babysitter when my parents needed and they involved me so much in the pregnancies it was great. My siblings get along great. The age differences didn’t matter so much. Then my stepchildren have 5 years age difference. It’s nice to have them apart because they don’t get along. The oldest graduated a year ago and younger one is in high school now.

1 Like

I had three i twenty three months

My son had just turned 3 a month before I had my daughter last year. I love the age difference and it wasn’t hard at all! My son just wanted to hold her and help any way he could. Now they’re 4 and 1 and they fight over toys, but they get along great otherwise and my son loves spending time with her!
I’m expecting my third in January and my son is super excited about it and can’t wait to hold a little baby again.

2 Likes

Depends on the kids and depends on you. I know people that dealt with big families (5 or more) with more ease and grace than I did just having a second one.

My oldest was 8 when his brother was born. Now they are 12 and 4

It’s awful when they get older I have one like 13 months apart and all they do is fight ones four and one fives and oh my it is crazy lol

1 Like

My first 2 were 22 months apart. It was way easier than I expected it to be & I love that their so close

Mine are 18 months apart. 8 and 6 now. Loved it because they grew up close and you got all the stages out the way at once. I used to work night shifts so i was used to being tired but other than that im glad i had them close together

I’m a single mother to a 2 year old and 6 month old. There us exactly 19 month between my 2 and as hard as some days can be it’s amazing. I wouldn’t change it for the world and the bond is truley something else. Honestly my second completes me now. I’m so happy I’ve had 2 close together. I say go for it!!!

2 Likes

My girls are 18 months apart. It was hard, but whether you are parenting 1 or 2 it is hard
You learn to adjust, just like you do with your first. I like the age gap between mine and they are only a year apart at school which is nice x

Personally, I don’t think it’s that hard at all and I have 3!
Their ages are literally 3,2 & 1😊

1 Like

It wasnt too bad. Once you get a routine down it’s much easier

I have a 15 month old and a 3 week old. It’s fucking hell of a learning curve but I know it will be great once things calm down. Very happy to have my babies this close.

With an 18 month old and a three week old… it’s hell lol

2 Likes

My kids are 22 months apart. And it wasn’t bad at all. We love it bc they already have a playmate super close in age.

1 Like

I have 4 … 1st and 2nd are 20 months apart and have always been close oldest is boy . 2 nd is girl… now 15 and 13. 3rd is a girl and 28 months younger … the girls fight and play and fight… now 11. Youngest is only 5 and he wants everyone’s attention at all times. Typical baby of the family.

I had mine four years apart . I have three kids . It was nice because the first two were boys and they were / are like the best of friends . They never argued with one another . Then came my baby girl . She was the spoiled one bit the boys were never jealous of her . I loved all of mine and would go back and do it all over again if I could ! They are 31 , 27 and 23 now and turned out great !

We wanted four years. And as much as he’s just slipped into place in our lives. I wish we wouldn’t have wanted so long, as my four year old has just started sleeping through and now I’m doing it all over again :see_no_evil: but apart from that it has, touch wood, so far been quite easy and his 6 months.

I have two girls and about to pop out a boy any day now. All are 3.5 years apart. And it works for us.

1 Like

My girls are 12 months apart and it was hard getting them everywhere they needed to go by myself but once they were both toddlers it made potty training and other things easier because they could just work together to learn and play

My daughters are 1 year and 8 months apart. It was super easy for me to transition from 1 to 2 children. My youngest daughter and son are 2 years apart, going from 2 to 3 was slightly harder. Best of luck!!!

I have a 4 yr old a 2 year old and a 8 month old nothing is easy but you get the hang of it eventually and it’s all normal and good 2 is easier than 3 I’m wondering what 4 will be like :joy:

My kids are almost to the day 3 years apart and I feel like its perfect for me. My son was 2 when I got pregnant so he was excited.

I have a 18 month and a new born, we are still adjusting. I wouldn’t say it was so difficult that I couldn’t handle it.

Mine are three years apart. That way they had a year to bond before the oldest was off to school and I had one on one time with the little one. They have an amazing bond.

1 Like

We have 4 kids. 1st and 2nd are 18 months apart, 2nd and 3rd are 2yrs 1 month apart, 3rd and 4th are 23 months (to the day) apart.
Honestly, the transition from 1 to 2 wasn’t bad for me. My 1st drive me insane as a baby. She would scream so much with me but be so good with anyone else. Then she gradually screamed a lot for my husband, too. Our 2nd didn’t scream near as much. And my 1st, even at 18 months, was one who was able to play independently and took the transition of having little brother very well.

I think at any age it will he hard to transition from 1 to 2. I have 4 and that was the hardest for me. Learning to divide my attention and organize my time anything after 2 was a breeze

1 Like

Not too bad I have 4. 11,9,7.1

Mine kids are all 4 years apart and it was easy

1 Like

All of my kids are 3 years apart and I have 4 kids. I think transitioning from 1 to 2 kids is the most challenging

Ive got 3 (3,1 1/2 &6 months) the hardest part for me is cost and childcare atm honestly carrying for them is the easy part (I’m a single mom tho so that makes a difference too

I have a 21 month old and a 2 week old. We haven’t had to much of a problem. Big sister likes to help with baby sister but she definitely still needs some one on one time with me so while baby sleeps we hang out together

1 Like

My 2 girls are 2.5 years apart and I don’t recall it being that difficult of a transition. My first tries helping with her little sister so much and absolutely loves her, they play together real good and big sissy plays in her room by herself too. They are 3 and 10 months right now and we have been trying for number 3 for a couple months now

I had twins first and 22 months later another it was hard…but by the grace of god i made it through they are 10 and 8 years old now…its 3 babies together but then they all grow up together and it becomes a little easier…

My is 16 months apart… it was hard but somehow kept them alive and not hurting one another with a toddler and a newborn… but now they are both toddlers and it’s pretty much fight club 24/7 :grimacing:

1 Like

I have a 17 and 16 year old that slept in their cribs and we followed routines. I also have a 2.5 year old and an 8 month old and I practice more attached parenting. It depends on how attached you are as a parent. If they sleep in their crib and you follow schedules and such, much easier. If you bedshare and follow their lead, much harder to go from 1-2 because the older one will still need you for some time. It’s doable, I have for 8 months now, but it’s not easy. I DO NOT recommend a 1 year gap like my first 2. I always heard that 2 years is ideal, but that’s what my younger 2 are and it’s hard. Any gap from 3 years on would have been better with the attached parenting so that I could give them both the close attention that I want to.

While their relationship won’t be the same, it’s not half bad to have older teens and then the younger ones. They’re great help and there’s a variety of interests and ability levels happening at one time.

My boys are 2.5 years apart, oldest was basically potty trained by the time #2 came along so our transition went well adding a second. He was old enough to help out a little bit by grabbing diapers, wipes, pacifier. Helping him good his bottle occasionally (once he was a little older) overall I love the 2.5 year difference, I don’t think it would’ve went so smooth had it only been 2 years between them.

I have a 15.5, 7, 6 & 3yrs.
My oldest used her 1st younger sibling as a living doll, always helping. So it was really easy. As they grow the 3 younger ones entertain each other (hugh help) & are thick as thieves!
You have to remember all pregnancy, births & kids are different. If you two are ready to add to your family do it. There will never be the “right” time.

i personally would go six years i did that with my first two and my third was 16 months apart from my second it was hell! diapers and car seats all damn day. no sleep they are always fighting but i can recycle clothing since they are both boys. also it was harder on my body them being so close. I never lost the weight and i was so stressed i gained more. also the homework is a pain in the ass. just being real

I feel pregnant when my little girl was 4 months old, honestly none of sunk in til i had him in my arms, at first it was hard with my little girl getting very jealous and wouldnt go near him and I found it hard too not being able to constantly cuddle her or even him but now he’s 4 months old and she is aboustly amazing with him! Its tough sometimes, im a single parent so I dont get the help and bed times are the worse lol but Luckily both my babies sleep all night so it makes it a bit easier during the day lol :sweat_smile: im now very glad I had them so close together! Its definitely worth doing, my little boy is so advanced having her to watch, he’s already nearly crawling at 4 months :pleading_face::pleading_face::pleading_face:

Mine are 3 years apart, for the most part it’s been fairly easy but my daughter is a huge suck and isn’t always so happy that her new brother is taking up a lot of attention

There is 4 1/2 years between my girls… Altho the older was very independent by the time I had the second, I wish I would have had them a little closer together.

My oldest two are 16 days less than 2 years apart. Honestly, that was easier than the 4 year age gap between my middle and youngest! I wish I would have had my youngest closer to my middle!

I say wait until your first is out of diapers but that’s just my opinion and what I did. Now my kiddos will be almost exactly 3 years apart- 3 year old and newborn, and I couldn’t be happier

Mine are 19 months apart and it is very hard. Both of them feel attention deprived all the time. They are now 2 and 3.5 but constantly fight over toys, parents, food, pets, attention… everything. I do not recommend having them close.

I have 2 kids 18 months apart and yes I struggled alot. I ended up getting really depressed. Though a thyroid issue did play a part. I went to therapy after 6 months, you’ve just gotta make sure you speak up

Get it over with, lol! They will fight at ANY age! :rofl::joy:

Wait till your first one is potty trained my first 2 are 2 yrs 2weeks apart oldest was potty trained at 18months 2nd were only 15 months apart much harder

I have a 4 year old a 1 year old and a 5 week old and the transition from 1 to 2 was fine then babynumber 3 came along it that was easy going from2 to 3 just try and maintain the rountine you have for 1 year old and adapt accordingly for baby 2 xxx

Mine are 2.5 years apart. Our first was the center of attention for long enough and was needy enough that he really acted out when the baby came along. He would never dream of hurting her but the attitude and fits were terrible. We started making outings just for him or something that the baby can do too. Its gotten better, but he is still needy. Routines have changed but we’ve meshed them and it works.

My girls are 25 months apart and the pregnancy & first 7 months were the hardest alot of mum guilt being so sick while pregnant and not being able to play then bringing home another baby who takes all my attention was really hard. It’s still hard and they’re almost 4 and 2. I don’t like sugar coat things don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t change it for the world i love both endlessly and now they’re older and can play together it’s less mum guilt

It was easier for me to transition from 2-3 then it was 1-2 but I think the age gap with my oldest is what made it difficult

Its not as bad as they make it sound. I had a 4yr old when was pregnant w my second and when he turned 1 i gave birth to my third 2 days later those were back to back…and wasnt that bad like I thought would be

My oldest two are 19 months apart, they did great until recently (11 and 10 years old now) now all they do is fight. My oldest and youngest get along best and they are 7/8 years apart. But I do have four and they all fight on occasion.

My two were fourteen months apart ,girl then boy ,no trouble

I had my 2 oldest 3 year apart. Best gap I think. My daughter has hers would have been 1 but 11 months. I want to pull hair out

I thought it was way easier. And two to three was great too.

My oldest was 6 years old when my youngest was born. Now my son is 2.5 and we r trying for a 3rd baby

My 2 daughters are 13 years apart. My oldest has been very helpful ever since her sister has been born. I would at least wait until your baby is outof diapers to have another baby.

Think of it this way: was it hard transitioning the first born? Now completely forget that and think opposite lol.

My daughters are 20 months apart. Because of the way their birthdays fell they were only one year apart in school. If I could do it again, I would hold back daughter #2. She was so much less mature than her sister. I think it hurt their friendship. They’re adults now and get along fine. Every household is different and there is just so much you can control. Don’t overthink it! 2 is better than one :slightly_smiling_face:

I have 2 older half siblings that are in their 30s and I’m almost 20. I grew up basically am only child. Personally from my experience, don’t wait. It gets really lonely. I would love to have had a sibling closer to my age to grow up with.

1 Like

I had my son when my daughter was 4. I think the hardest part was realizing my daughter wasn’t a baby anymore. Other than that, they were a good distance apart and she has helped out tremendously for the last 6 years in being her brothers best friend and protector. I wouldn’t change any of it and am glad I had him at the time I did.

4 Likes

I had my kids about 2 years apart and thought I was doing good so they could grow up together as friends. Not so. That is too close and the oldest is still a baby. As adults they are friends but growing up I feel they all were cheated out of their babyhood. I had three girls and if I had it to do over, I would space them at least 4 years. Just my thoughts and that second child really makes things a lot harder. When there is only one, that one is a toy but when the second one comes along, play time is over.

My sons are 18 months apart. Have always been best buddies. The first 6 months were crazy. Once nap times were at the same time life got a little bit easier. Then came our third ( a girl 2 1/2 years after the 2nd son. Yep 3 under 5! Would not change it for the world ( they are my world) 20+ years later they are all best friends! No matter what the age difference Love your children! Teach them to be strong individuals with their own dreams! also support and encourage along their path!

My 2 oldest are 23 months apart. To me it was the hardest transition. My husband deplyed 8 weeks after our second child was born so that added to the stress.

I had 2 in diapers for a whole year. My 2 year old had to be on a leash when we went anywhere because I was also lugging a heavy infant seat everywhere.

I love the age gap of my younger 2 children…3.5 years. He’s independent…gets his own snacks, can put himself in a car seat, toilet trained, speaks clearly, etc.

3 Likes

My son was 1 when my 3rd was born. She is 2 now and him 3. Its definitely a handful but also a blessing. They play with each other and their older sister! I wouldnt change it for the world.

I have 3 and 1 to 2 was probably the hardest for me. But my first didn’t do well with the transition so I think that was a lot of it. They are just shy of 3 years apart.

1 Like

I had two girls a year apart lacking 3 days…I did not do it right, so I can only tell you what I did and how it has affected the relationship between them all of their lives. When I was nearing due date for #2, I took my son that was almost 3 and my baby daughter that was 11 mo to their grandmother. I had #3 and did not bring the older ones home until she was about a month old. I was overwhelmed so I thought it would be easier that way. My son adapted pretty quickly to having a new baby in the house, but my 1 year old daughter felt displaced, was jealous of the baby that had taken her place…to make matter worse, I dressed the two girls alike for a long time. They are now 59 and 60 years old and have never developed a close relationship, though they tolerate each other. Just saying, it is hard for the first to accept the second if they are too close together and the same gender.

I thought it was, my two girls were and still are just really easy. I honestly think it depends on the kids. Now, my third… if he was my first, he’d be my only. My girls are 20 months apart and they did everything with me and I was like never stressed. I had just an overall great experience with two

Mine are ten years apart. I enjoyed the age difference. I had two only children. The firstborn - boy could play by himself. The second-born girl was the baby. They get along well as adults. I didn’t plan on the age difference .

My kids are 5 years apart. I sometimes wish I had them a little closer together but I am glad that I had one going to school and the little at home. My transition was easy, I think in part because of this. In the end only you know what’s best for your family, so do what feels right because in reality there is never “a good time”

Going from 1 to 2 isn’t that big of deal in my experience. Mine first two are 3.5 years apart so oldest was out of diapers and loved helping with baby brother! Going from 2 to 3 was much harder but there is a 5 year gap between the younger ones and I think thats what made it harder

My first two are 13 months apart boy then girl and they were best friends and then 5 years later #3 was born and he was always lost with no one to play with! I had a miscarriage when he was 5 months old and I never had more

Mine are 15 months different. It was easier when they were younger now they are 12b and 10g all they do now is fight and bicker all the time at each other. Also have a stepson thats 11 and been in his life since he was 1 1/2. So the older they get it little challenging some days.

I had my 3 in 2000, 2003, and 2006 and for me 3 wasn’t any harder than 1. actually by the time my 3rd was 2 yrs old, he had watched his older siblings use the bathroom and one day while watching tv he just unstrapped his diaper, went into the bathroom and peed, put the seat back down and flushed. I think having them close is a good thing.

I have a 18 month old and a 7 month old. They are 11 months apart. Its hard when my son was born because my daughter was 11 months. Its gotten easier because they are both in bed at the same time and both take naps together. They love each other and my daughter can’t wait to play with her brother when he’s a little bit older. She tries to ppay with him now.

My girls are 4 years apart. It worked out great for us. My oldest was such great help. Also, they were not in college at the same time!!

1 Like

My two daughters are six years apart. Wasn’t planned that way just didn’t get pregnant. The oldest was completely captivated with baby sister and always looked out for her. They’re now 57 and 51 and still each other’s best friend.

I have 2 kids and 1 on the way. My boys are 10 and 2. Will be 11 and 3 when new baby comes. My oldest was almost 8 when I had my last. It’s quite the gap but soooo great! He’s so helpful and it’s wonderful!

1 Like

I have 3 with years between them. My 1st 2 are 6 1/2 years apart and have always been close. They are 30 and 23 now. Then along came my 6 year old. Funny that after I found out I was pregnant with my little guy my oldest and his wife found out they were expecting. My little guy and granddaughter are 5 months apart.

My daughter was 13 months old the day I took the pregnancy test.
21 months apart, she and my son are as close as can be.
They don’t remember ever being with the other.
They fend for each other and are each other’s best friend.
They were the only grandchildren on either side.
I am glad I did it this way.

2 Likes

23 months apart both boys…, there was fighting and bickering, but there is lots of love between them… they’ve even made each other guardians of their kid just in case… seemed much better than the 5 years age difference between my own sister

The transition from 1 to 2 was the hardest for me, but it was worth it. My oldest 2 are 21 months apart and they’re very close. They’re best friends who do everything together. Despite having their own rooms, they still sleep together. My youngest is 3 years younger than my second son and they’re not nearly as close. They don’t really include him in much.

My sister and brother were 5 & 6 respectively years younger than me. I would not wait that long to have another. We did not grow up together. As we got older, things changed and now it doesn’t seem like an age gap anymore. Unfortunately my brother passed away 20 years ago at 47. I miss him everyday. We were very close.

I raised 2 daughters, 19 months apart, as a single parent. There are easy times, the eldest giving up the bottle for the baby, and there are hard times, when only 1 gets invited to a party. No matter how it happens, it’s always such a wonderful blessing!!

Mine are 6 years apart and they are very close it doesn’t matter how close in age they are they are going to be close or not

2 Likes

My children are five yrs apart they protected each other,they don’t see each other often but when they do they are close. I love it when they come home to me we have so much fun now she is forty, he is forty five.