Doesnāt sound like he has any desire for a parental role and thatās okay. If itās not okay with you, then itās time to move on. If he and your child have not found a bond in a year, one is not at all likely to form. If it were me, Iād definitely be looking forward not backā¦
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it normal for men to think babies are gross?
JMO Donāt have a family with him.
He told you and has shown you he has no interest in kids. Break it off if you want more kids. Believe what he is telling you and showing you. Good luck
So, i might be the odd one out here, (i have a baby of my own and definitely want more) but, babies are not for everyone, and thats okay. If you know you want more children, i would say honestly find someone else because having a baby with someone who doesnt want one is the worst mistake. You deserve to be happy and have the life you want, but so does he. 
Reading this I was thinking he must of been around 20ish years oldā¦ then you say his ageā¦ ahhhh what the hell lol
Please donāt be with him. Thatās how my step dad is and heās a total ass to this day to me and his own child.
I mean in all honesty babies have a reason to be but they are gross and so are kids in general lol im saying that as a mom of 2 kids babies/kids pee all over poop all over puke all over wipe their face and hands on everything pick their nose etc. But to me it sounds like he doesnāt want kids in general if he didnāt build a bond with your little one within that time frame then he never will.
If he isnāt actively trying to bond with your daughter after 3 years. He doesnāt want kids, him having his own could possibly change that but I doubt it and clearly so do you. So walk away.
My ex thought babies were gross until we had our daughter. To this day he still has hard time with other people children.
Iām sure your boyfriend will change his mind once he has a kid of his own.
After not bonding with your daughter, that is a red flag right there. He doesnāt sound like he wants kids. And Iād hate for you to get pregnant then him not wanting anything to do with baby. Donāt do it girlā¦let this fish go. Much love hun
Be careful what you choose. My SO didnāt help a bit. It was all on me.
Heās telling you what he wants but in an indirect way. Just seems like heās afraid to come out and say he doesnāt want kids.
Heās not someone you want to have kids with. And if you do I guarantee youāll be doing it all yourself.
Do yourself a favor and save yourself some heartache. Youāre better off with out him.
If he thinks babies are gross he more than likely wouldnāt want kids of his own is what i would think, so honestly if your trying to have a family some day and grow your family Iād say this guy isnāt the guy for that. You guys should have these conversations of what you want outta your life and what you want together as a couple, thatās always stuff that should be brought up when dating someone so you can know if you guys are on the same page cause if your not then thatās gonna be hard on the both of you especially if either is willing to compromise on said things. But honestly if you want more kids and he doesnāt then thatās a deal breaker. Plus him not developing a relationship with your daughter after all this time is another red flag that kids really arenāt his thing.
So he doesnāt want or care for kids, oh well. You canāt change that about him. NEXT.
I mean I donāt particularly like babies either, and I feel like itās totally normal to not want a child. My advice would be to break up, since you guys have different opinions on children.
The real question u should be asking yourself is it worth it to try and find out? This could really put you and your family in an awful situationā¦
Honestly I wouldnt stick around to find out
Most men love the idea of there little mini me and if he truly loved you he be trying to knock you up to keep you close to him Iād let him be and find another man that will love you and your child unconditionally and want more little precious ones wit you
He has been around your kid for 3 years and still hasnāt bonded with her. To me, that alone would make me not want to be with someone.
Itās normal, but if he is indifferent to having children at all, and his comment upset you to the point youāre reconsidering (especially after splitting already) its better to not go through another 3 years of it. Especially if he isnāt even bonding with your daughter. She doesnāt deserve a half assed father figure.
He will never be a good father to your child because of his attitude. Why waste your time and emotions on this walking heartache?
Throw the whole man away
He has no bond with your kid that should be enough to show you that having a kid with him is a bad idea.
If he donāt want kids and you want more kids then yeah you should move on!!! Doesnāt seem like he really cares for the one you already have either and that would be a deal breaker for me
He is telling you how he feels about children, listen. If no bond was established in 3 years with your Daughter, than there is a real problem in that. Move on. Find someone who can appreciate you and your daughter.
The fact heās not bonded with your daughter is a reason to leave
Do counseling get all of this figured out before making a huge decision.
Oh mama the way he already treats your child is enough to know its time to go.
Your child is a package deal and she deserves someone who will bond with her and treat her like one of his own. You deserve a man that is willing to do this. This man is not him.
I have 3 kids of my own. I love them to death. But come on letās be honest kids are gross 
. They play in their feces, spit up, touch everything then put their hands in their mouths, pick their noses & butts. I guess it depends on the context of the statement. If he was saying they are gross in general then ok heās probably not a man that will take care of his child. If he was jokenly stating that babies do gross things then I wouldnāt be offended by the truth. Trust your gut. If you donāt think heās going to be daddy to a baby he helps create then donāt have babies with him.
Itās normal for them to not want to hold em as much when theyāre new new! But to think theyāre grossā:unamused:
oh boy !
If he didnāt try his ass off to bond with your already baby get to steppin
He said 3 years to bond with your child he still is not developed a bond with her to me thatās a big red flag that he may not bond to his own child and if a man didnāt bond with my child from a previous relationship I would end the relationship right then and there
Heās gross for not having a relationship with your daughter. Find a new man
Ignoring the fact that that is absolutely not normal, your daughter deserves better in a stepdad.
There are a lot of men out there that just donāt want or like kids. You cant change someoneās mind about it nor should you try, itāll make things between you guys worse than what they are. I personally wouldnāt be able to date someone if they couldnāt bond with my children or my children didnāt like him after meeting him.
If no relationship is formed now, it will never happen. Some people are just not meant to be parents or donāt want to and thatās 
.
However, if you want that in your life it needs to be with someone else, has he can never give that to you. Since, it is not in his nature.
Pretty sad he feels that way babies arenāt gross, I mean he was a baby once. Maybe he grew up in a house where kids werenāt special or wanted.
One age doesnāt matter to put it out there. For two babies ARE gross but we love them through their grossness. Think about it for a minute. They vomit, they pee on you, squirt poop on you or up their back, when toddler they tend to reach in diaper if not taking it off and make poop art on the wall/themselves and the having to pick/suction their boogers. List goes on. I get that as any parent does. Now hearing what youāre going through it sounds deeper than just gross/messy. Sounds like he on one hand is going with social expectations but on the other, like my daughter, doesnāt want any. If he cannot bond with an elementary age child how will he act toward a baby? Could it be it is not his natural born or just in general? If yāall did have a baby would he help? Would you have to put in all the effort? Would he even stay with you after? Would you be willing to put yourself into any of those senerios knowing the no connecting with older child? Iām not one to judge as I donāt know both sides but that is what you have to ask yourself. Life is complicated and sucks at times but you need to soul search and figure out if this person/life is for you FIRST, not him. I hope I made a lick of sense.
Addition: why has he not committed to you by way of engagement or promise? I would worry about that first before having a baby to be honest.
Run donāt walk !! Find you baby a real father figure not mom a BF
Girl leave this man seriously! If he canāt bond with your child after 3 years then he doesnāt deserve to be around whatsoever. Focus on your child and yourself instead of a man seriously. If u chose to stay with him knowing he doesnāt have a bond with your daughter after 3 years then youāll only focusing on yourself at this point n just wanting to be āattachedā to someone even if it means putting your childās happiness below yours. Wake up 
If its been 3 years and he still hasnāt found a way to form a bond with your child, it is time to move on. Especially if you know you want more children and he canāt even find a basic friendship with your existing child. It may suck, but it will be better for everyone to go your own way with your kid.
Well babies/kids are gross (im 5 months pregnant with baby 4) but since he hasnāt formed a bond after a yr of living with you two thats a reason to not see where the relationship is going. My boyfriend bonded with my two older kids two yrs prior to getting into a relationship. We were friends and with different people when met. Im having his second in Jan 2022. Had his first Jan 2019ā¦
Kids are grossā:rofl: never met one that wasnāt Iād done cut it off when he has nothing to do with your daughter. Package deal
You already know the answer!
Forget the hypothetically baby.
Your daughter deserves a stepdad that CAN form a bond with her. Thatās what you should be concerned about.
I mean babies are āgrossā. (Though Iād use a different choice of word). They are supposed to be. 
kids are learning, they tend to be messy, the poop(A lot), cry (ALOT), and get in to EVERYTHING! But, again, BABIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. This is how they learn, itās natural.
Read what you just wroteā¦only its written by your sister or bestie. Walk away. Period.
Some are just not meant to be parents. Male or female. Nothing wrong with that. Iād surely delve into his attitude deeper if you even sincerely believe heās interested in children in the future.
Forget about babies. Think about the fact that he canāt bond with your child. Move on
You know what to do already, but if you need strangers to tell you ā¦ Get rid of him.
Sounds like a child saying that.
Frankly, if heās not bonding with your child, or at least making an effortā¦ heās not worth your time. Your daughter deserves better.
Itās perfectly fine for him not to want children of his own, but the question is ā Do you want to have another child?
Secondly, if heās not making a solid attempt to connect with your daughter, you had better have a conversation with him. If youāre in a relationship thatās going to lead to marriage, heās going to have to step up. After all, youāre not just getting a husband, your daughter would be getting a step-dad. This man will set the standard for her future relationships with men, so youāve got to make sure heās the right role model for her.
Youāre a package deal ā He needs to be all in, or all out. Thereās no halfway.
Something is wrong with this dude. Dump him. For your childās sake.
You know the answer. Why even ask?
He isnāt going to change his thoughts about babies and you will be stuck doing everything. Walk away while you can and find someone who will share your feelings.
How many more red flags you need?
He does come off as someone who would leave the entire burden of childcare/infantcare on youā¦ so definitely toss him
He sounds like a lover that doesnāt wanna grow up
Maybe u should be asking him to see
Girl tell him heās gross and walk away.
He doesnāt want kidsš¤· Lots of men and women donāt.
It is fine if he doesnāt want kids. Some people donāt. But you have a kidā¦ And if you want more, you already know the answer.
Youāre worried about a baby you dont even haveā¦ worry that he only does āokā with the child you have now and that he wont create a bond with them. You know your answer. Put your child first.
Human beings are gross in general - but to be so repulsed that it prevents a relationship from happening is something else.
My husband is more willing to take care of the gross stuff than I am! But he has also always wanted to be a dad, too. Not every dude does.
He sounds like the gross one
My fourth child is 25 and thinks babies and children in general are pretty gross. He has no interest i becoming a father himself
Which is a shame as kids love him
Babies are gross. So are kids
Kids are gross. Some of us can live with that and others canāt. If you even have a glimmer of a thought of wanting another one, heās not for you babe. 
Babies, toddlers, kids, adults, all gross. I donāt see anything wrong with him being honest.
My partner said children are gross until we had kids of our own, he puts up with them being gross cuz theyāre his own
You can still love your children and think theyāre absolutely grossssssss but I suppose there might be some underlying things that ring alarm bells for you. The internet canāt make your decisions for you love.
No itās not bloody normal 
Be a mother first!!! And u not!!! Gonna have any questions.
Yes they areā¦ but on to your relationship. The fact that thereās no bonding at all after all this time makes me think heās not the guy for you guys.
Some donāt want kids and thatās fine.
Babies are gross lol but sounds like you donāt really want to get back together with him so donāt.
Babies ARE gross lol
I wouldnāt worry about that comment. I have 3 kids and they can be grossš. But itās hard to say though, what tone did he use? What were you talking about that lead to him saying that? Did I seem nasty and hateful? To be honest I would be more worried about the relationship he has with your daughter and no bond for 3 years, says he has no interest in having one to me. Then it will only get worse if you had a baby with him as either, he will bond with his child and your daughter will notice sheās treated differently or he wonāt care for either. I would walk away if I were you, seems like there is alot going on in general.
Oh trust me babies can be gross, but teenagers are more gross adults even worse 
I wouldnāt worry about the comment, I would concentrate on the non bonding aspect of things x
Sounds like there is a giant red flag flapping all around with like a tornado siren going off. What if you actually had a kid with this guy. Sounds like daddy issues in the making and years of resentment for yourself. Sure babies can be gross but its more his lack of any sort of paternal instinct that is worrisome.
If he canāt bond with your daughter after 3 years ā¦yikes! Might want to reconsider a baby with him.
Grown men not pitting in effort to build a bond with a child they live with are gross. That would be a hard no. Just let him go.
Kids are gross an I have 2 son an daughter my son very early age woke up from nap didnāt make noise so after a bit I checked ok him an he took his poopy dipper off an put on his head got everywhere then decided to draw pics on the walls so yes kids are very gross
If he canāt really bond with your daughter then its time for him to goā¦ that would be my 1st thing.
You canāt force people to have the same opinion as you, express your concerns to him around bonding with your daughter, if you want more children in the future see where he stands and if you want different things, move on. Children are gross doesnāt mean you donāt want them or love them.
Babies ARE gross. I have 4. But him having zero bond with your child is more concerning to me.
If you have to ask. Listen to your gutt. Leave!
I mean. Iām 37 weeks pregnant & have worked with children my whole career & to be fair. Kids are gross. Babies? Babies are disgusting. But itās just kindaā¦ part of kids & babies, so you adapt & deal.
Communication is important in Any relationship. Try having a heart to heart and see what his plans are for future children a n d where your relationship is headed
Heās imature although heās 31. If you were my daughter, I would tell you to get rid of him.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it normal for men to think babies are gross?
The fact that no bond was made with your child after 3 years says it all for meā¦
I feel kids are gross but I have 5 of themā¦
Red flags everywhere, go & donāt look back just go!
All the warning signs are there FIND SOMEBODY ELSE.
why would you want somebody like that around your beautiful child .PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR DAUGHTER AND NOT YOURSELF
I know we get lonely for a companion for the sexual relationship BUT my children are more precious and mean a lit more to me than any man ever will.At 29 you have years ahead ā¦pray for a good man to come your way ā¦Send this one away ā¦there are loads of women who also think the same let him find his level there.
You do not need a man to be wholeā¦Let your daughter be your companion ā¦
Blessings
When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!! He hasnāt bonded with your child and he thinks babies are gross. His mind is clearly made up on the matter and if you think you can change him even after witnessing his behavior, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Honestly he may feel differently when itās his own child but thereās a chance he may not. Definitely something to think about if your wanting to have another child.