I am wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation like mine. My daughter is 4 she is very close to her grandma but wants nothing to do with her grandpa! My parents are the best grandparents ever! She won’t get close to him let him hug her or play with her nothing! She is always with me and I try to encourage her to play but she doesn’t. Also if my brother comes around or any male friends of ours she is terrified. I am a stay at home mom so she is always by my side! Is this normal?!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it normal that my daughter is terrified of men?
My daughter was. She is 13 now and is wary of men but no longer terrified.
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I hate to be that person but maybe it’s worth looking into the best way to ask questions about sexual assault without leading.
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Be glad and just let her go with it for now. I am certain I am terrified of men by now too.
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My 6 year old went through that. Her thing was if it wasnt her daddy she wanted nothing to do with any man at all. She grew out of it
Mine went through this stage. Currently it’s with other females
I would check to see if something happened to her.
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My daughter is 2 & is the same way except with her dad. Her dad is the only guy she’s completely comfortable with!
That doesn’t sound normal
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Have you thought of abuse? She might not understand but if she is afraid and act like that you should take her to the dr and have her checked out
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Does she have a dad that’s always present? Or are you a single mom?
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I would get her into therapy/counselling but, it could be that she’s used to females being around and has learnt to trust females but, if males haven’t been around she could see them as big and scary.
I know my son (as a baby) hated males but, only if they yelled or had really deep voices, it scared him. He wasn’t around a lot of males though so he was used to females talking. Maybe get them to talk in a higher pitch and see how that goes.
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On a more serious note… I was sort of afraid too when I was a little girl. It will pass when there is a non intimidating male around her and until then just let her be her… and also… Pray about it.
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It’s normal behavior if males aren’t around a lot of course she will be scared ! Give it time
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My daughter was like that from a very young age (like less than a year old) if a male came near her or even talked to her that wasn’t her dad or her 2 brothers, she would freak out. She is almost 10 now and has gotten a little better but is still very weary of men. The children spend the weekend at their grandparents house every other weekend and it take a few hours for her to warm up every time… Starting school helped a lot.
Let her play with boys of different and same age as she is and observe the behavior
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My son is terrified of men. He is autistic. Only men he isn’t afraid of is his dad and his papaw.
I have a granddaughter who has been afraid of males since birth it seems like (she will be turning 3 this year). She is getting better with males but it’s been hard on family members (her uncle loves her to death and would love to take her out but she won’t go). She is being raised by her mother and isn’t around men much so this doesn’t help.
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My now 10 year old was like this for the longest time. I’m not sure why, either. She just wanted mom or dad.
My two year old son did that for a short period of time and my one year old son is doing it now too.
Is she mostly just around females during the day? I noticed this happening with my son and also that the deeper their voice was the more terrified he got
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I think it’s normal. My daughter is six and growing up with a fair weather father has made her extremely skeptical of men, her grandpa included. It takes her a little time to warm up to men and I don’t force it… I let her get comfortable and naturally interact with them.
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Does she ever have time around men other than grandpa?
If not, she is probably just more comfortable around women in general because she doesn’t have men in her life and spends her time with you. Men could just be something different that she isn’t used to and different is usually scary.
My youngest was like that. She didnt even let her dad touch her for a while. She just didn’t like their voices. You always had to use a soft touch when dealing w her. She’s 14 now and shes a lot better now but she still has aversion to males
Our neice is the same way and has been since birth. She will completely shut down around men. Except my husband who has been around her consistently since birth other then that she tries to stay in between my sister in laws legs. Some kids are just like that. Her twin brother is the complete opposite and doesn’t care who you are he will talk to everyone.
Leave them be don’t force a relationship they will trust when they are ready.
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Yes! My little girl who was 4 loved swimming lessons but we had to quit due to a male teacher. I also had to move her gymnastics to a women teacher because she didn’t want the man to teach her. She is almost 6 and it’s not a problem anymore. It’s definitely a phase. HOWEVER, since I do not know you or your situation, make sure she isn’t being abused first. My husband and I did put due diligence and similar to you, I’m a stay at home mom and she only was around grandpa and uncles. Don’t push her into wanting to play or hug. Her body, her choice. Some parents forget that. I never make her hug or play with anyone she doesn’t want too. Good luck 
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Men are usually taller and with deeper voices…I would ask them to be extra mindful of standing over her and that their tone of voice isnt at all aggressive (even jokingly). Most importantly, respect her autonomy and dont pressure her to hug them or get too close. If you are confident that no one has abused her, just give her time to grow out of it 
she won’t be this way forever!
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Nobody ever wants to believe it, but there could be molestation going on. Too many times a kid is being touched and when it’s found out family will say “I never thought he could do something like that. Or he was such a good man”
Never wait until it’s too late. Get her checked. Talk to her
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Normal. My 2 yr old almost 3 acts scared of boys. But calls for them when they gone. I think it’s totally normal & a phase
There is something to be said here in addition to all the great advice- for generational trauma which gets carried in our DNA. If you think about the history of the world, it makes sense that those born female would have an inherent fear of men.
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My granddaughter just turned 3 n she was that way with every man except my son. (Shes a big daddys girl) shes at my house all the time n still wldnt go to papa until about 6months ago now shes papas bestie 
she talks to n hugs her uncles now where before she would cry. Some kids just take longer to warm up. Plus i think some kids just dont like a mans deep voice maybe idk but my hubbys a great papa plays with the kids always doing stuff for or with them
My daughter is 6, and there’s still a select few ppl that she wants to be around and talks around. Of course everyone in the home (me, husband, siblings), my mom and stepdad, and she will talk to my husbands dad. Other than that, she’s literally mute. She doesn’t even speak in school, not one word yet
If she isn’t comfortable I wouldn’t force it.
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I was terrified of tall, bald headed men.
I was sickly as a child, and my dr was tall and bald. So I associated every tall, bald man with him.
Normal id say. They do grow out of it in time if you don’t force interaction .
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This does not sound normal. You said she also wants nothing to do with her own grandpa but they are wonderful grandparents. I’m assuming they have given her attention since she was born. She would’ve developed an emotional attachment to both before being old enough to even remember. I would say it sounds like something might have happened at some time in her past.
Absolutely not saying anything happened with grandparents; but an outside incident could’ve resulted in her not being comfortable\wanting to be around grandpa.
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It’s normal if she isn’t around men alot
I’m the goof of the group so I’m gonna say its past life stuff she has dragged with her into this one
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Don’t force it I hope no one is abusing her
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I do believe a lot of kids go through tons of strange phases. Hope it’s just a phase.
I won’t not push her to like men. Never force children to be uncomfortable.
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My 3 1/2 year old is very nervous about all men, but it stemmed from her seeing a man put his hands on me when she was probably 16 months old. And I know it stuck with her. I’d be maybe question if she saw something or heard something or if something touched her in a way that wasn’t appropriate…
sometimes it’s just a shyness thing and they are more comfortable with their same sex but 
just to be safe!
I was like this as a child. My mom was a single mom and whenever a strange man I didn’t know would approach me or even my male cousins I would just SCREAM.
My step dad loves to tell the story of how he met my mom. My mom and I were at my aunts house and she was having some ppl over. I was 3. My stepdad walked in and I was on the couch and when I saw him I started screaming tho my mom was right beside me.
My mom said I just didn’t like men. I grew out of it but I was about 6-7. So hang in there, it will get better.
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Praying they were not touched wrong etc. by a man ( even their fathers)Its happens more than we recognize .
All I can say is just please pay attention. (And no I’m not saying you don’t already) Hopefully this is just a phase as my little girl went through it. But just be extra cautious mama, and don’t force anything she isn’t comfortable with. Much love 
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My son was terrified of my sister for the longest time. If it’s people they aren’t used to… I can see how she’d be uncomfortable. I wouldn’t push it. She’ll make her own decision on when she feels ok
Has it always been this way Is question if it wasn’t always this way I would definitely figure out what’s going on because it sounds like someone did something to ur daughter
Normal if they weren’t around men until this point
My nephew was scared of my dad for a while cuz hes sooo sooo much taller than the men he was used to seeing
It’s not normal something is deep and just keep a close eye on every male close to her … it’s never a stranger
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My girls were/are the same! I think this is very normal depending their exposure.
How sad we live in a world where we automatically have to jump to abuse
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I think normal unless you have unusual signs.
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I wouldn’t necessarily jump to conclusions of something happening to her especially if there isn’t a father figure in the house 
tons of kids go through this phase and grow out of it. My mom had a girlfriend for a period of time who eventually had a kid and was like that with those who she didn’t know per say or was never around much but eventually grew out of it. If she isn’t around males much even her grandpa it’s totally understandable, maybe work in it slowly with her grandpa where you’re there with her and play with them both. That way she knows that he isn’t just someone who is there to hurt her and that she can trust him, then slowly start working with the other men in her life.
Does she have kids/guys cozins brothers that she was playing alone with? Without your controll? If so than just be carefull…it happened with me n cozin,nothing serious but he was forcing me to watch inappropriate stuff on tv video tape at that time 
childhood ruined tho i was never scared of guys
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Our one son was terrified of his grandmother for the first 2.5 years of his life. He would scream like crazy if he simply saw her.
Ask her questions that need to be asked. My friend didn’t know her own sons father was touching him until she was filling out the question form at the doctors office before the kids visit. Sad but it happens.
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My three year old cries if she sees her grandma or me without glasses on lol. My oldest only wanted men (or me) to hold him as a baby. My middle would hide from men that had deep voices. I think kids just have their comforts and dislikes and I don’t think it’s personal. Maybe your daughter is just used to mom and people like mom, so she doesn’t show interest in others.
My middle child was like that. I mentioned this on another post; but here it is again!: my daughter’s paternal grandpa was molesting her right under everyone’s nose. She still wanted to be with only him or her dad. Any other male that would come near her or pass by or even look or speak to her she would scream like she was being hurt or killed. I started becoming vigilant and then one day there was hard evidence. Pediatrician and police has in a report, but he was locked up and He’s now doing 3 life sentences for molesting another child previously before my daughter and I confronted him twice.***ps no one “saw any thing” . He was always carrying her around and holding her every visit no matter what. He wouldn’t put her down and she wouldn’t want to let him go but would hide her face. I could be sitting right there and wouldn’t see him do it, but he did it.
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A friend of mine has a son who was like this. I could hold him but not my bf lol
It depends, if she was always like this might be just phase and she will grow out of it, but if this is something new something might happen to her , not necessarily sexual abuse , maybe someone scared her, maybe she can not get her way with him , maybe she saw something etc.
The important thing is to try the most to be alert , try to identify at what moment a chance of her behavior occurred, and never ever force her to stay or to choose affection if she doesn’t want to
My son was the same for so long. His dad was deployed almost his whole first year so it was just me and his big brother around all the time. Any guy scared him. He seems to started warming up more recently to our guy friends but it took forever.
My son was for a little while I’m guessing it’s the tone in a man’s voice.
Ahh this could be me writing this. But my daughter is a bit younger. She’s 3. From the age of 1 and still with certain way some men look, she would cry, scream like someone is beating her to death, only male she would let near her was/is her dad.
My dad, her grandpa(papa), started out with hi, bye then gradually started high fives for months then one day she just went up to him and hugged his legs and ran off, he didn’t have enough time to reach down and pat her back. Few weeks later she let him hold her but she had to have me or her grandma (mawmaw). After a while she was content with him, started giving him kisses on the cheek and hugs, telling him she loves him, saying hi and bye, still doing the high fives because that’s their thing. She will now have a short conversation about whatever she is watching or doing, even shows him her toys. It’s like she never went through it with him.
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Something happened somewhere.
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Normal. I was like that as a kid. From a very young age till now kinda (I don’t like having male doctors, amd so on) a few of us girls (cousins) are the same. My 3yr old has the same issue. Nothing happened when we were younger(us cousins lived in different states our whole lives) or her. I wouldn’t even go to near my grandpa till I was about 9 or 10. (I only had the one on my dad’s side. My mom’s dad passed when I was very little)…and just one day I was ok with high fives and such. I didn’t like to be touched (still don’t. Like I’m not a hugger and what not. I was never forced to hug an adult I didn’t wanna hug or be around)…
My daughter was like this for a while when she was 2-3. She refused to see men doctors or dentists. When we’d go to a friends house she cried if she was near her husband. I’m a sahm so she had always been with me and her dad was the only male in her life so I think it was just something she wasn’t used to and men made her uncomfortable 
she’s out grown it for the most part, but she still prefers women to men…
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Try interaction with you. So you and uncle set on floor with her in a triangle and roll the ball. If there is another toddler get them involved to show the person is not a threat. Be respectful of her feelings and be patient.
I wonder if somehow a man has scared her? Maybe when you were out somewhere? Someone who looked vaguely like your dad scared her at the store or something? It’s hard to tell. Has she ever been at a day care or had a babysitter that could have had a boyfriend over that scared her? It doesn’t take much with little ones. I’d check it out.
I was like this as a child. My dad wasn’t home much and my mom was at home, so I just wasn’t used to men. I wasn’t molested or abused, men just scared me. I’d even ask my friends if they had dad’s and if their dad’s would be home because if they had dad’s I didn’t want to go to their homes.
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never say never. open mind and eyes, hopefully it’s nothing but never rule out anything. keep eyes open . mama marg
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I would suggest getting a medical exam for her. She may have been abused/assaulted. I know that no mother wants to hear that, and that wouldn’t have been my first thought if you had stated that you’re the only one she clings to, but if she is fine with other women and terrified of all men…
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Is her father in the picture?
My second was like that until age 3 about anyone strange she didnt know…especially men. Warmed up faster with women. She grew out of it at about a little after she turned 3. Started actually getting in her grandpa’s lap and now plays with anyone. Probably just a phase.
I was like that and I would make sure noone has done anything to her get her ckd out cause trust me mine went on til I was 8 n figured out how to get away from it because it was family. And it makes ur childhood a living H***… besides when you become a teenager n really start having issues …
My niece was 6 months old LOVING my new boyfriend coming over when I baby sat her. I stopped baby sitting her when she was like a year old and when my bf came to her birthday party, she FREAKED when he picked her up like he always did. She knew me still and loved me, but he was an issue for her and so was her uncle and his best friend lol. They tried to talk to her when they came in a room, she didn’t like it one bit and found the closest woman to pick her up. Idk what it is but she did have a loud father who constantly yelled at her mom and slammed things so it could be a response to hearing men raise their voices, it could be the deepness of mens voices. But I’ve seen it a few times for some reason.
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Take her to the doctor sounds like she has been 
hurt by someone
My 3 year old is like this. But she has never been in daycare nor been away from me. And everyone saying something happened to her no. I can 100% say nothing has ever happened to my daughter to make her this way.
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My son used to be deathly afraid of old people. There’s not always a reason. That being said-make sure you pay attention.
It’s normal… she spends a majority time with women. She’ll change
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My middle daughter was the same way towards her dad…he’s very close to our other two daughters .
but for some reason she has always been closer to me than him. He even thought she hated him for a while but she is just shy around men in general… she’s 15 now and they have a much better relationship but when she was a baby she always wanted me instead of her dad and it’s nothing he did (he tried every way possible to bond with her as a baby/child ) she just wasn’t interested …. Your daughter might be fearful of men in general ask him to be quieter or talk with a lower tone when she’s around.
Something has happened.
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Don’t ever force your child to interact with anyone.
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Everyone always jumps to “she’s been hurt”. Honestly, my daughter was like this when she was younger and I know for a FACT that nothing happened to her. She grew out of it. Some kids just tend to be like this. Men have deeper voices which sometimes intimidates children and can make them think all men are that way so they just don’t care for men. If you have a reason to think she was hurt then yes I would think about that, but it is normal. I wouldn’t stress about it. Also don’t force her or try to make her have interactions with people she isn’t comfortable around because that can cause trust issues with her.
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Maybe shes been abused by someone. A man. Thats all i got sorry
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My daughter is picky about who she likes. People with a high excited voice she doesn’t like. She likes people that are chilled and not to excited to see her. 
As a child who was abused and groomed by close family don’t ever force your daughter to interact with or love on anyone.
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Do they have beards?
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Well… I’d make sure she was by your side 100% of the time…
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What about your husband?
My son was like this for a while… he was afraid of his uncles and wanted nothing to do with them. Turns out he was intimidated by their height. They are both a little over 6ft and the rest of the family is at least a half a foot shorter. He eventually got through it and he loves them now
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Is she around those males often or is she primarily around women? She may just not be used to being around men and doesn’t engage with them like she does women. I wouldn’t immediately jump to worst case scenario ( a man did something) but I would keep your eye out for red flags. Other commenter have some good points about beards, height and other things that could have your daughter not wanting to be around men
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It may be as simple as something she saw on the TV or something that’s ingrained in her mind. Try reteaching her that men are not scary and they are not gonna hurt her. Start again slowly reintroducing her to men and give her gentle pushes to move forward and engage with them. 4 year olds minds are playground we can’t can’t comprehend lol if it continues though and starts to affect her daily life as she progresses, maybe seek the guidance of a counselor or such. But it could be anything. Maybe they just smell weird to her. Or she doesn’t like a certain feture of men, like facial hair or something. My mom thought I was afraid of old people for years. It wasn’t until I was 7 and I was old enough to explain i wasn’t scared. They just smelled 
If she’s primarily around you or women in general she could just very well not warmed up around men yet… if not I would just suggest you talk with her and let her know if anyone has touched her inappropriately or anything of the sort. It’s always good to just ask her throughout her life and that can also reassure her that she will not get in trouble for telling you if anything does happen to her because predators will always try to fear them into not saying a word. Praying nothing ever happens to her and may God keep her under the protection of his wing.
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Depends on the kid. Each kid has their own personality. Mine is about to turn 12 and I’m still googling “is that normal”
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My youngest was like this. She was breast fed and co-slept with me. I don’t know if this had anything to do with it but she was super attached to me and wouldn’t go to any male except for my husband and my dad. She wouldn’t go to any of my brothers or any other male. She is 4 now and isn’t as much like that.
I remember my oldest boy going through a stage similar he was fine with family but others he hated x
My niece was terrified of my son .she wouldn’t go near him.now you can’t separate them!
2 out of 3 of my kids were terrified of men between the ages of 1 to 3. Their father was the only guy they liked at those ages.
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