Have any of yall experienced a decline in your sex drive since having your kid? I have two and didn’t experience it after my first. But after I had my daughter, it’s like I hardly want my husband to even touch me. It started when I was pregnant. It was okay for like three months after I had my daughter, but then it’s like when he touches me, I freak out—full-on anxiety. I love my husband, and I know it hurts him when it happens. He tells me it’s fine, but I can see it in his eyes. And on the few times, I let it slide through my anxiety, its painful and like I’m really dry. I’m at a total loss.
Talk to your doctor it could be a lack of estrogen
Yes it is common but you still need to talk to your dr.
Talk to your ob, hormones are probably off which is normal and use lube, there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that.
Talk to your doctor. This happens often with women who have had babies.
You should be talking to your primary care doctor
Use lube and maybe itll get better. Maybe youre stressed.
Definitely call your obgyn.
Definitely talk to your doctor
You need to visit a sex shop. Go get some lube and a clit stimulater to use while having sex. It’s the best invention ever. Makes sure you get to achieve orgasm also. Some men feel like they are not enough if a woman brings that into play, but once its shows him you will be more willing and more often he should be okay with it. For some reason after having kids I have experienced difficulty having alot of pleasure during intercourse for awhile. But with the clit stimulater it makes a world of difference and we haven’t had issues with me having low libido since. Four kids now plenty of experience lol.
Get something done quick if not he’ll go somewhere else n you can not blame him.
Trust me see your doctor…it happens
I had this when I had the iud once I got it removed I was fine talk to ur dr for sure
I thought I lost my sex drive after my second it didn’t hurt I was just never in the mood… turns out it was just the baby daddy in my situation I wasn’t attracted to him anymore I don’t have that problem anymore
Your also probably touched out from caring for your baby, all the skin on skin and affection you have with baby can be overwhelming
Sounds like post partum anxiety . along with losing your sex drive also? No matter what alway consult with your doc
Oh God help us all Because a Man can’t live without sex… Ugh these comments…
Go see your doctor! And dont blame yourself! A lot of times its just your hormones. And for goodness sakes dont listen to these women saying that you should fix it so he doesnt get sex from somewhere else.
On a side note: What kind of marriages do you all have anyways?!?!!!
Talk to your OB and talk to a counselor. I had the same thing happen, mine ended up being multiple things part of which was from being molested as a child and for what ever reason after having kids all that started showing in my sex life. I got on medication and started counseling. It really helps to be able to talk to someone who is not emotionally invested in your life and can give you unbiased opinions. Good luck!
I have that same problem Idk what to do
Maybe you need a little you time. Get in touch with your sexy self again. Go buy some water based lube if it helps. And if you get anxiety maybe you can try lavender oil, that helps me when I get anxiety. Behind the ears, on the nape of the back of ur neck, and inside the wrists. The smell is calming. You should call your doctor though, doesn’t hurt to make sure you’re okay. You could be dealing with post partum.
If you’re on an antidepressant (mainly SSRIs) that can cause a low sex drive. It sucks. I’ve been having this issue and my husband understands. I tried stopping my meds and had to get back on them because I was so anxious all the time.
Mine was the complete opposite. I wanted more sex while I was breastfeeding. Once I stopped, I lost the sex drive again. I realized that it was due to a hormone imbalance. Talk to you doctor. After I give birth to my second and stop breast feeding, I’m getting my hormones checked. They say it’s best to wait a year after birth and/or breastfeeding to get them checked.
I was like that.
My problem was that I really didn’t want another kid at all and that underlying thought was on my mind a lot. I was terrified at the thought of getting pregnant. Some days I was better at ignoring my mind and being in the moment… Just have patience, you’ll be ready when you’re ready. Don’t push yourself.
The only thing that truly cured my sex drive was getting my tubes tied just before turning 25.
Don’t listen to people telling you to get over it or he’ll go somewhere else. If he goes somewhere else without permission, he can get out and stay out. Marriage is a commitment through thick and thin. If he won’t be there for you then get him out.
I have the same problem. Had my son in Feb 2019 and we haven’t had sex since September 2018. Part of me feels bad for not giving it to him but the other part could care less. I just don’t want it.
He says a few things to me once in awhile but overall he fully understands. The delivery was traumatic for me and I was in pain for 10 weeks…couldn’t even pee without crying.
I talked to my OB but he didn’t seem to think it was a major problem. My hormones are normal. I should talk to my family doctor…but don’t really care enough too either
Yup lost it both times I had my kids and I still don’t have 4 month pp. We will still do it just to please him but it is no longer enjoyable
Make a lot of time to connect with your husband without sex, massage, cuddling, sexual things you can do for him without pain/anxiety for you, maybe you can try giving yourself some stimulation alone and seeing if the problem is your hormones or just anxiety/stress from Situation…definitely try lubricant, check with a doctor, try natural remedies for female arousal/hormone balance…try to relax and not overbuild the issue in your head and make it worse…if you drink have a glass of wine or two and see if that helps get over hump! Good luck
Talk to your Dr sis it could be ppd. Unfortunately sometimes this happens but through the right channels it can be figured out. Dont feel bad about it, new mama life is rough, even if it is your second baby, its still new.
I had it. My doctor told me it’s my subconscious afraid of getting pregnant again. My second born is 3. It’s just now coming back
I lost it after both my kids, but really hard after my last one. There’s 10 years difference between them, so maybe that’s part of it. I also healed really badly down there, so even 2 years later it still hurts occassionally. Plus with 4 kids in total and a husband … we get touched out sometimes. It’s not unheard of, you aren’t alone.
Communication is key…make sure he understands when you don’t feel particularly sexy, and try to work together and learn the new ways that you do feel sexy. It takes time, but it’ll come back. You just have to learn how to adapt to being a mom. you got this
This is very common talk to your ob many women need to see pt for pelvic floor stuff. Totally normal it does get better
It is normal. Talk to your Dr about it. Some suggest lubes but most suggest testing hormone levels as pregnancy and breastfeeding knock our hormones out of whack
Me and my other half did xx and now we are both 2 tried. Lol 3 kids 7years and can olny just eat together if u put a film on he gose to sleep 1st lol xx
Thats normal, it happens to me and my doctor said its from stress of 2 kids and being worried about having another. More date nights and time away from kids as well as time alone to go pamper yourself will help
Going through the same thing right now. It sucks and my husband doesn’t think I love him anymore. I only have 1 kid, who’s almost 1 1/2 and I just keep thinking it will get better, but it doesn’t and I have been procrastinating on calling my Dr.
I know that the vag can get v dry after childbirth, so lube maybe can help. You may have an infection thats making it painful for you. Its not normal to be in pain, theres also a condition called vaginismus that can make you unconsciously tighten up down there bc youre so anxious about it that it’s a natural response. Id see a dr 100%. Tc
Talk to your doctor. You need to strengthen your pelvic floor. (Keagle‘s) and you need to get out of mom mode. It’s hard to do. I breastfed and pumped. And by the end of the day I was so touched out. But my husband would just start slow and romance me. Not just jump into it. And once we started getting intimate I started to relax. Sex is important in a relationship. I’d be hurt if my partner shot me down and shut me out.
You should speak to your dr about this. It’s probably a hormone imbalance and can easily be corrected. This is fairly common.
I would see a therapist who specializes in woman’s mental health prior to seeing a doctor. Yes, it may be postpartum depression or hormone imbalances but it may also be the stress of the transition of two babies or sometimes following babies, a woman’s nervous system will shut down to anything related to another baby, including sex. A therapist would help you process through these changes and assist you in processing if medications are right for you as opposed to a doctor who would probably just prescribed medications and not address what your body is telling your through your anxiety
I would definitely talk to your doctor about it! It could be post-partum anxiety. Or some other underlying issue.
Get your hormones checked… go see your doctor and talk about postpartum… it could be an easy fix for you! Hope it all gets straightened out cause that is miserable!! Good luck!!
I’m almost 4 years out and I honestly could never have sex again and be a okay… I just dont want it ever. It’s also painful and i suffered from PPD for a while after having my child… just brings back horrible memories of birth and how awful and alone I felt afterwards . Relationships evolve and although having some adult time is good for the relationship it’s not everything. I’d talk to a doctor and find a good therapist to speak with as well. In the end you are not a sex machine and if the man of the house cant give you however much time you need then hes the problem. Plain and simple. He didnt push a whole baby out of his body.
Omg this is happing to me now. I dont like freak out or anything. I just dont care for sex. Its so hard to explain how i feel or even why i feel this way. I am 42 i have 3 kids my youngest is 2 after him its like i dont want to hsve sex. I love the shit out of my husband. He is sex as hell i still find him very very attractive. So what the fuck is my problem
I think you need to get your hormone levels checked. From experience, I got better outcomes from a naturopath than a GP.
Talk to your doctor! Postpartum anxiety is a real thing, and that might be the trigger for you.
You could have a hormonal imbalance. I’d go see an obgyn.
Sexual disfunction can be a symptom of other, more serious health issues such as arthritis, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease and neurological diseases. Definitely see a doctor to rule out something more serious.
It could also be that you’re just overstimulated by having a baby and other kid need you all day. Grown adults can overstimulated just like babies-when you have little ones on your body all day it can be hard to want someone else to touch you. If your other basic needs aren’t being met like getting enough sleep or time to yourself, it may be hard to feel in the mood.
Following. This is such a sensitive topic and it feels pretty awful.
So my problem was 100% the birth control I was on. Like 2 months off of pills and I was back to my old self!
It happens its time to see the doctor…
Its natural , give it time
There is something else going on many more subconsciously, but i have to say after my 3rd child i can tell you right now quick sex is great but in all honesty sex grosses me out i dont like full nudity the mess is gross mens fluids are gross and it all around grosses me out. Idk maybe a flip switched in my brain or im defective but i feel this on a level.
Its ur mind telling ur body it doesnt want to go thru pregnancy and birth again. What worked for me was doing yoga or sexy dancing. Something that fills you with confidence and strengthens your body as well. Do something sexy and you might start to feel sexy again. Like the woman who regained her sex drive by taking pole dancing classes
It can also be your birth control…I noticed a change after getting my 2nd nexplanon put in the dryness bc I just can’t get into it and went from nearly everyday even after 10 years and 2 kids to about once a week … even the anxiety can come from it…
Go see a doctor this is not normal not for this long a time
I am currently four months postpartum and still at the moment don’t want to have sex…I had an emergency c section and I spoke to my doctor about it…she said that sometimes it is a part of postpartum depression…I spoke to some people who had baby same time as me and some have and some don’t…I am just waiting out and see
Hate sex…but have 3 kids
Breastfeeding will do that
I’m coming off birth control and feel this right now, I loath whenever he makes jokes about sex now and just rather him not touch me
Go see your gyno. It could be a number of things going on with your body.
I have 5 kids and lost my drive many years ago
There’s so many factors involved not just the fact u had kids it can be anything from the fear of getting pregnant again or it could be hormone related if ur still breastfeeding and waiting for ur cycles to return back to normal. I have 3 kids and I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant with our 4th baby and I struggle to make love to my partner when our kids are around and prefer to be alone with him and its about being comfortable. Remembering the trauma of childbirth could also be another reason. Talk with ur partner and pick ur moments to be intimate with ur partner again it can be frustrating but worth figuring it out for the both of u good luck x
Its more than likely birth control. Had that issue after my son
I felt that way almost the entire time I was pregnant, I didn’t want anything to do with any sort of affection he had to offer:pleading_face:but that went away when I had my baby.
I’ve had 4 kids and sex drive is still in tack, I think there is a lot more factors then children or birth. I agree with Leanna Wirepa-kio comment.
Ya its to do with your hormones. After breastfeeding declined and I got my period back, my sex drive came back. Its hard to cope with, I understand how you feel! But it helps to know its completely normal. Your body is for your baby during that time. Its not forever