If your oldest, who is 19, but still lives at home, and thinks and acts like they are the parent and constantly talks back to their own parents as well as siblings, is it ok to tell them to move out? If so, how? If not, why not? Siblings are 17, 16, and 10.
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Are they in college or working?
Yes u tell him to follow the rules and no disrespect or get out plain and simple
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Theyre an adult now and especially if they cant show RESPECT for ANYONE they live with then its time to go 
might be mean but oh well…learnin time
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Listen , if they aren’t respecting your home , and are of age to move out , then YES ! Do they work ?
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It’s totally acceptable! Do it!
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Even as their parent if your full grown child disrespects you in YOUR home you don’t owe them sh*t not even a roof over their head.
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Sure. Just keep an eye out for them incase they start getting homless or something bad like that.
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I would just tell them look i love you but its time for you to start being independent and get your own place ( if they are working if not make them get a job and save up to get their own place) honestly if its not workinh with him living there and he is disrespectful its okay to have them move out it doesnt make you a bad parent he is an adult and you have to have peace in your own home
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If they are not working or going to school. If they are not helping provide for the home then yes. Disrespectful grown people don’t belong in the house if they can’t follow the rules. I was 18 and paid rent weekly at my parents home. Granted it wasn’t much but I understand what they were preparing me for.
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Ask? Hell no! TELL them to shape up or ship out.
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Are you willing to have an conversation first? Set some boundaries and lay out your expectations?
A lot of these kinds of things can be avoided with a little communication.
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You’re a parent and you decided to have kids. It’s your responsibility to make sure they’re set up properly if you want them to move out, kicking them out with no resources is wrong.
At 19 you don’t always have the means to move out in our economy.
But if the kid is being an ass on purpose and making no effort to change, then absolutely. But at least be sure he has somewhere to go.
No too young and immature and it obviously shows in the behaviour you make sure they follow your house rules if they live under your roof
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Start charging rent. They’ll move out quick.
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I had my daughter move out at 17 after she graduated. Things were incredibly bad and volatile. It was bad for her siblings to see
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Maybe if you don’t feel like kicking them out is the right option (that’s your choice) try charging them. Rent, groceries, wifi etc. they don’t pay you change the password and make a meal for the rest of the family. Tell them it’s either this way until they can show they are listening and being respectful or find another place to live? You also kill 2 birds with one stone because let’s say they start respecting the house rules, if you save that money by the time they are ready to go look for something they have some money to help get them started.
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Yes!!!
There 19, but daughter did. She wasn’t asked she was TOLD. Then came home at 21. She’s even had a baby and she knows how well she has it now.
Maybe yours will not come back. But I bet they understand better how life really goes
Of course it is okay to tell them to move out. My oldest is 18 and he is fully aware that we have rules in this house and that they are to be followed. Our biggest rule is we do not disrespect adults in this house and if you cannot follow that then you don’t need to be here.
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Yea I mean. It’s gonna be rough. But at the same time one thing i remember being really respectful of is my moms house when I’m an adult. It dosent matter HOW old I am, I act under rules still. Be home by 11 pm, don’t smoke in the house, don’t be a dick, help out, ect. Your responsibility by law is no longer in effect. It would be same if I was renting from someone diffrent, there are rules and guidelines you need to follow or get evicted.
There’s also the option of allowing a second chance, but writing up a contract.
These rules need to be followed, if they are not, you will be TOLD to leave.
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Before kicking them out if ask them to pay some bills not the full bill but a partial amount of each bill. Water power cable rent. And tell them this is part of being an adult and if they don’t like it they can move out. The door is always open for them to come back but the bills will still be here
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Maybe try repairing your relationship?
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Depends on the situation. Sometimes it helps sometimes they get more volatile. Does he work? Give him notice. Charge rent
I have been there and have made the tough choice to kick my 17 year old son out due to bad disrespectful behavior. It was hard and I meet with much opposition but I stuck to my guns and am glad I did . Fast Forward, my son has thanked me many times for not putting up with his BS and he is a hardworking man, not without problems but he takes care of him self and we have a good relationship. I would say he either pays rent , lives by house rules or moves along.
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Yep! They are an adult. Set rules if they are broken they can GO.
Man this is a toughy bc a lot of the time older siblings grew up being secondary parents. To grow up in that position and then be treated like a child as an adult (although young) is frustrating. If the parents never really actively parented the kid they absorb that roll and project it onto anyone who they think needs it. You need to look at the consequence of your parenting I don’t think it’s right to ask them to move when you created this person.
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We just kicked out 18 year old out because he refuses to work go to college or do anything with his life.
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Absolutely! If they won’t respect boundaries set and are a legal adult buh bye! Our kids know they are always welcome home as long as they respect the rules under our roof period no if ands or buts
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Kicking them out could ruin a bond between you both, Maybe try some time for you two. Try have a chat express your feelings and how things need to change or unfortunately it’ll be time to start find somewhere else to go. - even at 19 their still babies it’s a tough gig still trying to fit in to the world. Maybe their stressed? Under a lot of pressure? I hope you can repair a great relationship between you and all the children before just kicking the oldest to the curb.
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Make him pay rent for a yet first. Save all his rent and give it back to him to get into his home. Win win 
he gets used to paying rent, and he doesn’t have to struggle to get up the money to move.
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Yes, if they can’t respect house rules absolutely. They are old enough to drive, work and have their own place so I’d say yes
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Atleast make sure they have a good job
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Absoultly, everyone in the house has to
CO exist.
we all have to communicate and make comprises to have a happy home.
I’d set up house rules and expectations. If you cannot abide by them you can move out and make your own rules but know I won’t be paying a single one of theor bills once they don’t go.
Yes life is tough at 19 but try being the parent of ungreatful children who feel entilted to talk to you however they want! Nope, learn some respect or out!
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They need to be making their own choices at 19. It is, however, your home and get to define the rules. It is your child’s choice and doing if they choose not to follow the rules. Their actions have consequences and when you follow through and helo them pack their belongings, remind them it was their behaviour that brought about the consequences
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Yes its ok to ask them to move out. Explain to them what you just told us. Their actions are unexpectedly. It would be no different if they were renting a place. If you don’t fallow the rules and regulations that the landlord has set out, your given the boot. Simple as that.
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I could not see my child on the street especially in this day and age more than ever everyone needs family to be there for them . Must though have boundaries and ground rules.
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This is so sad many parents had to go through this with their own children…i really don’t know what’s going on in the minds of these children…some of them don’t realise the struggle their parents went through just to bring them up…i am in the same situation…i tried to patience and prayer it really helps…i pray and hope in God that he works a miracle in time to come…i don’t want to lose my children I am afraid they might end up with the wrong company and would not be of benefit to society or to their fellow human beings…prayer helps you feel relieved knowing that you are speaking to the One who is in control of everything hoping at the same time your prayers will be answered…show compassion to your child when things get bad on the other side he will realize that his mom was right and she was there for him and as parents you want what is best for your child…children don’t realise that as parents you want what is best for your child until they become parents themselves then they realize the true value of their parents…i pray that the Creator mend the situation between you and your child and cause u too to be united with that special bond you once share with your child…Ameen…
Do they have enough funds to move out? Do you realize how much housing is? Find out their finances first vs. Housing, food, necessities blah blah blah bc dont be the selfish scumbag who makes their loved ones homeless
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U gotta put the fear in him . Until u show him what ur made of they will keep doing it .u don’t have to hurt them just scare them into thinking u will .
If they want to act like an adult, then they can be an adult and move out.
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maybe just don’t word it like that. “helping them to be independent” lol but yep BOOT
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Yes… if she wants to adult do that shit in your own place or get efffffed up!!! Not in my house where “I” pay bills!!! Simple!!! 19-29…
I would set expectations and boundaries. “If you are to continue living here, I need you to be respectful of everyone living in the house.” That being said, it’s a two way street. If they’re being “disrespectful” I would try to consider the place in which is comes from. Are the also not feeling respected?
If they can’t be respectful then I would work on helping them find other living arrangements. I could not see myself making my 19 year old homeless over something like this.
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I think you work on the relationship, I’m sure there is more to the story than this brief synopsis. If there is a problem and your solution is to kick them out you will probably have no relationship with your child. Just because they are technically adults doesn’t mean they are ready to adult.
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Yes. It’s time to make a move out plan.
I got made to move out when I was 17 and I turned out alright
First the kid needs a job or go to college or both. If he doesn’t want to do neither you have to give him a timeline and tell him if by X date he will have to move out.
Absolutely! At 19 he is an adult, should already have a job, he wants to be disrespectful, do it in your own house, he wouldn’t do it in mine. He would not lay around my house with an attitude and no job.
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Age is just a number.
Still grown folk who cant function in society. If your worried about why theres issues now, it too late to fix.
Just like a house requires meticulous planning an a labor of Love until the foundation is completed- is the same as raising toddlers and teenagers. You build them as a parent. 19 with an attitude, show him/her how life is without mom or dad and see how quickly they change and appreciate what they did have.
No… that’s your kid. I’d help him make a plan but to simply just say, “it’s time to go” could land them in bad situations.
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You follow the rules and expectations of the homeowners, or you live somewhere that you can make the rules. I would give them notice though. Maybe you give 3 months instead of the standard 1 month, just to be certain they have a living situation and a job lined up. Nothing wrong with tough parenting, but it’s kind and loving to be reasonable about it instead of cruel… when given the choice anyway. No one wants to alienate their child entirely when trying to teach them lesson. It’s a fine line, but an important one.
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It’s my home. If they are over 18 and dont respect me and my home they can go, no matter who they are.
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Maybe you should find out if they’re able to move out first before asking them to. Living on your own can be expensive and you should be able to afford it
Darn rights it’s ok. Once he’s 18 you can kick him out. Foster homes kick you out on your 19th.
Yes. They’re 19, an adult
If you do it to one I hope you do it with the others also, or the first born will resent you.
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At that age, I think its acceptable if they aren’t being productive. I would let my kids stay with me as long as they needed as long as they’re working on their future, have a job and saving, going to school kinds of things.
I’d make his ass get out (my son lol) if he was being disrespectful, lazy and unproductive because relying on us as parents isnt going to teach them anything at that age. There’s got to be ground rules, I’m 26 and if I had to go home I could BUT my dad would expect me to find a job within a reasonable amount if time or at least be putting the effort in to find one. Depending on circumstances hed even charge a small “rent” fee. And I’d have to have the respect to let them know if I’m not coming home at night. Responsible for my pet and all that encompasses. My mom wouldnt make me buy my own groceries because she cooks for everyone but I’d definately be expected to help out if I’m wanting specific things or not eating what she makes.
I’d also be expected to help around the house, either simple things like vacuuming or dishes, hauling in firewood.
There aren’t rules like no eating in the living room or I have to be in the house by 10 lol but basic respect and responsibility, and that’s what I’d expect from my grown children as well.
Tell them they start respecting you and your house and everyone in it or they can leave.
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Before it comes to just talking back,like in my case where my daughter tried to beat my ass,ask him/her to leave
Your house your rules
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Talk with him and let him know you are the boss not him. Set the rules and expectations one more time remind him it’s your house and he is an adult. Then if he doesn’t I wouldn’t just kick him out. I would make him start preparing to move. Get a job, save money, find a place.
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Yes it’s ok. But I personally think it would be cruel to due during this time. Sit down and discuss that they need to start planning and working toward moving out.
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I would tell him if he wanted to be boss of the house he first needed to get one. I would let him know that he is making his siblings made and resentful towards him by him trying to boss them. But if he wants to stay home then the rules apply to him just like before. Good luck and God bless.
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Your house your rules. Personally rather than putting them out I’d ask for a portion of the bills, charge rent, water electric etc until they can be grateful and just put that money aside for them for a later time
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Hahahaha i was acting like that at 16, my mom said change my attitude or get the fuck out!! I was a bad influence to my brothers that were 3& 4 yrs younger. Guess what? Out of 3 of us, im the only one who has never moved home!! They both have! 1 twice! Lol but IM the bad apple hahahahaha I moved out & got my shot together. No codling. Best thing ever!!
I understand what your saying about rude and disrespectful possibly act like they’re your boss been there I let it go for so long because they was my kids couldn’t stand the thought of them being on the street it would be my fault thing is by letting them do that and get by with it I taught them nothing except for they can be rude to me and do what they want and get by with it so ya if you kids can’t straighten up yeah maybe it’s time to throw them out show you mean business it’s either your way or the highway
It’s really sad how somebody can ask that kinda question. Now this days parents want to put their owns kids to the streets instead of showing your kid how to behave, rules, responsibilities, etc at an early age so this stuffs doesn’t happen later. Be there for your kids no matter what.
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That’s about then I left. Was hard at first but it’s what I needed to grow up
My mom said if you’re going to act like an adult and keep doing what ever you want. Here is the newspaper I circled the places looking for rent good luck. That made me cut my attitude real quick
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Ur house ur rules however I Wouldnt be asking my children to move out… My opinion
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Is he even prepared for that financially and mentally. Honestly you gotta put your foot down and say this is my house and its my rules and if he doesn’t like it he can find his own place but to just kick him out? Thats just no . Set him up for success and he’ll never need to go home again. Hopefully the younger children don’t listen to him. What are his plans ? Don’t kick him out but he can’t run your house.
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your job as a parent is to teach them to work, do chores, exist if you die, be independent. not entitled
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Did she help raise those younger siblings? Usually when the eldest is being bossy, it’s because she has taken on an adult role she was given. I speak from experience as my 16 year old helps a lot. When I see her getting bossy, I have to check myself and look at the whole picture. I would not ask her to leave especially during this time. I would however make it a point to tell her if she is not happy there, she can work on getting her own place.
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I would try to repair the relationship. I would never put my child on the street.
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Have them “pay” rent. You put that money away that they give you into an account and give it to them when they’re ready to move out. Teaches them more than just respect
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Shape up or ship out
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My momma always told me “my house, my rules! You don’t like it move out”. And that was me paying “rent”
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At 19 he should already have a job and be paying you rent If not Tell him he has a choice
My boyfriend moved out when he was 19 and he never moved back. That was like 9 years ago
Um unless that child is paying the house payment he would already have been out of my house. Its your house your rules!
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Did you try putting him in timeout?
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Except the 10 year old they’re around the same age. Let them hash it out. One will move eventually.
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My parents kicked me out when I was 18. we don’t have a good relationship. Use to them throwing me to the wolves, don’t mean to be that guy. Sounds like what you’re doing. I personally, will never throw my children to the side just because we are having a personality clash. Have you ever thought you don’t like your child’s behavior because maybe… they act just like you?.. cause that’s what’s funny. Most of our children act just like us at those ages so goes to show more your character than your child’s. Xoxo.
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I would never put my child out on the street. You should’ve been putting them in check since the first time. At 19 they should have a job, so that’d be the first step… they need to get a job or be going to school. I wouldn’t charge my kid rent because that’s your child. Have them pay for their own food, phone, car insurance whatever “extras”.
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Must be productive full time…albeit a job or school. If they’re in college full time, they must hold a part time job for their own spending money and I wouldn’t take a dime. None. If they only wanna work, cool, but you’re gonna slowly begin to pay things on your own as you would elsewhere, and prepare to care for yourself.
However, my home is my safe space. My hone is my zone. My bubble. My peace. All of my children have learned that that’s what it will remain. Period. They’ve seen me boot family with zero guilt. I would always leave my door open for my children, however they know that attitude and disruption won’t be tolerated. They know how I feel…they know I love hard. But they also know I can’t handle drama and I won’t. When they do argue and bicker, it doesn’t really last too long. My teen boys have fought, but not too many times We constantly talk about space and respect, and hold each other and ourselves accountable…respectfully.
Once they turn 18 and graduate high school, everything you do for them is a favor. My oldest moved out at 20 because he thought he was grown and wanted to have a say in the way I run my house. He’s 27 now and we have a great relationship.
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Short answer. Yes.
Long answer. Yes, but help him figure out how to do move out.
They’re only 19, your just putting them out into life behind. Why not make some ground rules of have a job, pay a few hundred a month and put it into a savings for him. Teach him about money and responsibilities not just kick them out so young
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Is 19 year old still in school? Yes then thats a hard no you can’t put them out. If no then look at how much they do to help. If they are working they need to help with bills , you can put money away for later in their life when you decide .
I suggest sitting down with a written contract.
Its your home, you make sure bills get paid and groceries bought. Write out a budget lights, water, insurance, rent or house payments. Also include food , cable household supplies. Talk about how much he thinks he should pay of that because now he is an adult.
Also house rules and what will happen if he breaks them.
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Time for you to have a chat and say it’s your house not theirs, have some proper house rules and if they don’t like it then tell them where to go time to put your foot down
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I am a mother and I would never ask my child to move out. He didn’t ask to be born and have to pay rent and bills and be a slave to the system and work to be able to live. Since it was my choice to bring him to the world, he is my responsibility until he’s ready for his own. #ISaidWhatISaid
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I moved out around 19 I had a job and everything and living some room mates and boyfriend at the time things didn’t go as planned broke up with my bf and moved back home kept working meet my now husband at 20 got pregnant at 21 still living with my mom had my daughter got married all while still living there and around 22 we got our own place and still living here at 28 and had another child
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Tell them unless they show respect, do household chores, get a job, and pay rent, they can move out. I moved out at 18, learn pretty quick you need a job to pay to live, I loved it and loved the freedom.
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Absolutely!! This shouldn’t even be a question!
Sure, if you want to lose your relationship with your son. Communication is Key, in EVERY type of Relationship
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I would try to talk to them. Maybe put down some ground rules. If they choose not to follow then I would ask them to leave. At some point you have to be an adult
Are they in school?
Do they work?
Are they otherwise responsible?
Are you treating a 19 year old like a 16 year old?
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No its not because they’re your child. You should have raised them when they were a kid not to be like that. Dropping your kid on their head is cruel.
Also look at how they were raised and figure out if they were put into the position to act as parent by you. Because chances are they probably were.
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Have a chat Put down ground rules and a 3month time frame if child has made no effort to change or improve their behaviour n they’re ways then reassess the situation, but life lessons aren’t what they use to be n you live with the guilt that the streets are a dangerous place to be and could you have done more if something bad happens.
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