The brain isn’t fully developed/matured until you are about 25… so, honestly, no.
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Yep. I had to push my 19 year old bonus daughter out after just a few months. Her attitude was too disrespectful and at the time I had two 14 year old, a 10 year old and a 6 year old. You are not gonna taint all the work I’ve done, no no.
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Ya would help em get a job, set adult like boundaries and help find their own place. They’ll either shap up in your house or want to get out.
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Are they going to college? Do they have a good paying job? Can you ensure they won’t end up on the street or dead in a ditch and can actually support themselves without you? They may be legally an adult but they’re still your kid and back talking doesn’t seem like a good enough excuse to kick them out to me. I would set some ground rules. They’re an adult now, you need to either work or go to school. Pay rent, help with bills, etc. Time to grow up and stop acting like a brat. Give them options don’t jump right to kicking them out because once you go down that road there’s no coming back from it.
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I dont see the problem with it.
They will fail and fall on they’re face. Set ground rules. My kids over 18 knew either go to college or off to a job and start paying rent. Tough and firm but they have to have some guidance not just shoved out into the world.
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When my kids are 18 and graduated they must get a part time job at least and help around the house. They will have specific things they must do around the house. Their own laundry, mowing, rooms staying clean, etc. They must pay for their own phone and anything fancy/extra they want(make-up, expensive games, fancy clothes/shoes). I will never allow the entitled attitude. Unfortunately I seen that first hand with my sister. She did and still does the same thing your 19 yr old is doing and she is going to be 20 in July. She has burned so many bridges cause my parents didn’t do anything about her behavior. If I were you I would tell them what you expect and what you will not tolerate, if they can’t accept that or listen then they can start the search for their own apartment where they can act however they want.
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Move them out before the others catch on.
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Sounds like you were a lazy parent and failed your child to raise them to be a productive person😁 I would never just kick out my kid. Maybe help them make a plan to get their life going. 19 is still a teenager. You are setting your kid up for failure. Sad how America just kicks their kids out as soon as its convenient for them. Wonder who will be not visited in the nursing home.
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If you don’t like where you are, make a change. You are more than able to have your own place and make your own rules. Or you can become a positive contribution to the family, keeping your mouth shut, cleaning and paying rent.
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I wouldn’t kick them out but I would encourage them to leave if they can’t be respectful. I’d help them find a place help them move out etc so it’s on good terms and your not damaging the relationship. At 19 year old is old enough to be on their own, nothing wrong with helping them learn independence and responsibility! Plus boundaries are so important even with your children. So if they aren’t respecting your families boundaries and causing problems they should be living on their own. But move them out on good terms and also let them know they are always welcome for a visit
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Omg. Moving out at 18 or 19 was the norm when I was growing up. Siunds like they’re ready to run their own show. Have at it.
If they are doing all of that, they are grown enough to live on their own. Yeah, it is great when they can live at home til they are stable, but when they are setting a bad example for the younger ones, that can lead to all of them thinking they can do it. Tell this person they have 30 days to get it together. If they don’t, they gotta go.
Definitely ok to put his think he’s grown and running things behind out. The disrespectful behavior should not be tolerated.
Personally I don’t think I could… But my sons are at uni and behave well so I’m very lucky I’ve never had to think those thoughts
Its your house your rules but I don’t think now in the middle of a pandemic when jobs are hard to come by and the economy is screwed is the right time to throw anyone out
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Yes. If they can’t go by house rules then go get your own house. But I wouldn’t rush. You want kids to succeed and sometimes forcing out can really ruin that. But you also do not need to be disrespected in a home you pay for and food you pay for.
My eldest son is almost 22 and still lives with me he works and pays his way and as I’m a single mum he helps me ( sometimes to much) with my younger 2 ages 15,13 I do pull him up on it sometimes about it and I’m also so grateful for his help same with my 19 year old he helps out also I’m Very grateful for there help and yes sometimes the 2 older ones back chats me also it’s part of growing up and I tell them off for it also… If it was up to me I would love my kids to keep living with me but I know the day will come and I’m not looking forward to that day 
Personally I would never … but 19 is legally an adult so do what you gotta do if you feel like it would make your life easier
At 19 she had to pay her own phone bill, insurance,and car payment. She so had a curfew and was not allowed to have boys spend the night or spend the night with them. She decided to move out on her own when she couldn’t go on a weekend get away with her boyfriend. She has siblings who look up to her and she wasnt paying rent, electric, water, gas, etc. She was in school, but still living in our house.
Best thing I ever did was move out at 15. I really learned alot & gained respect for my parents quickly.
Is the behavior out of the blue or has this been the norm? If this has been the norm and you’ve been allowing it, I think you need to start with telling them what you expect from here on out. Either way, let them know that the behavior needs to stop or they can find somewhere else to live.
In the meantime, they either need to be working full time or going to school and working enough to take care of their own personal expenses (transportation, clothing, extras). They need to be cleaning up after themselves and helping out with a few things around the house. If they’re not, you need to set some guidelines and plans for what needs to happen by what date. You’re not doing them any favors if they’re not expected to be productive - especially if they’re also being rude to you in your own home.
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I personally wouldn’t because nine times out of 10 the eldest sibling has looked after the younger ones, been able to discipline during them times so is treated like an adult but when the child becomes an adult you say its not your place to help chastise, also there’s a global pandemic going on, so where do you think he’s going to be able to go.
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My parents charged me rent.
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At 19 I was literally paying bills and taking care of my 3 year old by myself. If your child thinks he’s grown enough to act like that then I’d tell him to start paying bills and get a job. Like start a contract and him sign it. Turn his phone off so he can start paying it himself. It sucks being an adult sometimes but these are steps we use so they don’t stay home till their 40.
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Need to hear both sides generally. Feel free to tell them to move out as it is your home, but expect there to be hard feelings for awhile.
Yes if he can’t behave but give him a warning first. Tough love sometimes is needed
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Either he respects your home and rules or get out. If not they wont become productive humans in society.
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Yes it’s okay. If you’re trying to make the transition as smooth as you possibly can, tell them the exact date, while giving them some time to prepare. Stay matter of fact and tell that person this rule applies to all the kids when they get to that point.
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I have the same problem! My 20 year old lives in a studio on the side of our house, she pays a little bit in rent! But she acts like she’s the Mom! Drives me freaken crazy but I can’t give up on my kids & kick them out! Her sibling are 19, 17, 14 & 11! She butts into every situation 
it’s frustrating but she’s my daughter!
Your house, your rules. If they do not agree then they should be told. Follow or leave. Be prepared for them to fail and give them a second opportunity with the same rules. If they then continue, you must have them leave a second time. You cannot allow the other children in the house see the disrespect or they will follow suite
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Depends. I’m not about to ask my child to move out if I know for sure that he or she couldn’t make it on their own or if that child has to sleep in their car. But if that child has a job and a car give him a time frame and deadline to save money.
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Yes!! If they are acting as an adult and being disrespectful, then they need to find they own space to be in charge of.
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Mine but me out at 18 for that type of thing. Now, 12 years later, I couldn’t thank them enough for showing tough love and forcing me to learn. None of us never imagined I would have the life that I created for myself because of them.
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Let your kids become adults. Help only in extreme situations. Do not bail them out! Let them have the reward of self confidence.
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I didn’t graduated until I was 19, I have three jobs all four years of school, did all the cleaning, house work, with to school took care of both parents cause my dad worked 18 hours a day, my mom was sick,help with cooking with my mom, did most of the shopping at plus had a newspaper route, babysitting, an watched my younger brother too. Yes I think that he/ she is not ready for the real world yet but help them understand it by charging them rent,food, clothing, the use of electrical,water, and sewer. Tell them or show them that u do the same thing. My parents did it to me that why I had three to four jobs to do to make money to help out with my bills plus I got some of the money to buy what I needed until I learned how to drive an went out on my own. Believe me I will be in the same boat soon enough myself with my two old kids ( 16,14, an 7) This world is a hell of a lot different now then what it was when alot of us grew up in. Best of luck to u I hope everything goes well for u
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I made my older son leave at 17 for disrespecting me he went out and got his own apartment and job he went into the military he is foung wonderfull he went on at received his bachelor’s degree I am so proud if him
It really broke my heart to do that but some things are just necessary
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Yes it’s okay to ask them to move out…but give them time to get money for their own place and items they might need … and in the mean time set rules for said grown child to follow tell them they might be an adult but under your roof he needs to follow the rules
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I wouldnt just throw her out gotta give her time to find a job a place teach her some responsibility…she might resent u in the future to go do stupid stuff like wrong people, drug addicts so on…i wouldnt do it but u know u still got to…also make her pay bills too like and also how she would act is the way she brought up and let her be that way…she would have to grow out of it in time…shes just learning
…i wouldnt do it
Oh my goodness. Going thru this same exact thing here. Except mine is 20 almost 21. She has gotten so lazy and disrespect to me and the younger kiddo. I woke up one morning just after Christmas and guess had enough and first tried to tell her she needed to move out by feb first. She mocked me and thought I would cave. Trust me I wanted to. It my daughter after all. But let me tell you i didnt cave. She even tried the manipulation game of being homeless and i seriously said i would take her to a good shelter. She is moving out this weekend. In with a friend. She hates me so much right now. But I know it was the right thing for us both. I hope your situation gets better and whatever happens remember you’re not alone.
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Ok see this is where all of y’all parents need some law education. If they have been living there. Let me educate you real quick. I’m a cops daughter. You have to legally go get an eviction notice and give them 30 days! You cannot just throw them out on the street. And shame on you if you do!! That’s your child. You’d rather see them dead in a ditch and struggling. I’m sorry but y’all got some issues. I have 2 kids. I’d rather see my kids safe and warm than kick them out where somebody can harm them. Then y’all gonna wanna whine and cry when ya baby ends up dead or hurt! Sorry not sorry. Shame on y’all.
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Society is hard enough! Your job as mom and dad is to love and protect your children. No matter how old they are. News flash that’s still your child.
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I’d just say. If you’re grown and adult enough to disrespect us, your parents and your siblings then you’re adult enough to move out on your own. Now you have a week to get your things together and get out. Period
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It’s your home. And your 19 y.o. needs to be competent to run their own life. So, it would seem that this is the time to encourage them to fly (if you didn’t think this was a good idea, you wouldn’t be asking.) so, I think I’d suggest you gave a little nudge. I was persuaded to move out at 19 when my mom decided I needed to be paying rent, and I was already buying my own toiletries and food by then. So, since I had a job and was paying for things, anyway, I decided to move out.
P.S. You are setting a precedent, here. The other teens are watching, and their time will come. I always tried to be fair with my four, so they were all expected to live by the same basic rules. [Although, their levels of maturity at certain ages was different, and fairness dictated that rules could be bent at my discretion.]
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I myself couldn’t put any of my children out, there has to be an answer to making things workout, life is crazy, best of luck to all
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I prepared mine to leave at 18. Helped with a few things. They are all very successful. So yes they need to spread their wings and find their way.
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Your house your rules if she doesn’t agree it’s time for her to get her own.
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Give them 30 days or charge rent
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I would talk to them about the rules again. And have them pay a small fee in rent and save it when they are ready to move they can have it as a deposit or use it to buy furniture. I really don’t think a 19 year old is ready for all the bills. Depends if they are working, what they are making, going to school? Look into how much rent would be in your area.
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What!? Sorry. I really wouldn’t do that. 19 is too young to go on her/his own or even with roommates.
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Your house, your rules. If they can’t follow them give them an eviction date.
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I moved out @ 17,had a baby @ 18 & got my own place
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Hope they are paying rent and obiding by your rules or tell them there the door
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If him or her have a job yes make them get a place if their own but be there incase the need help.
Abide by your rules or leave.
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Oh yes. She can pay room and board or fly the nest.
Heck yes. Help the brat pack
Depends on the 19 yr old.
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When I graduated from high school many years ago, and got a job, my parents made me pay rent(25%)of what I earned, plus I had all the yard work to do, dishes, some housekeeping, babysit my 2 younger brothers, and had to have their permission to go anywhere when I wanted to go!!
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I just turned 20 not too long ago, so I’m trying to look at this from both sides. Honestly, I would attempt to have a conversation about her attitude and whats going on with her. I know when I still lived with my parents, I would get so damn irritated and get mouthy and they would get upset until my mom talked to me. She learned that I was stressed as hell and dealing with different problems that I kept to myself. Knowing that, they handled me differently, so I suggest try to talk before kicking her to curb.
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We always told our children, as long as you are helping yourself we will help you all day long. But, if it is all take and no give, then gotta go. ALSO our house, our rules. No matter their age it is never wrong to expect respect. If by 18-19 they have graduated from High School, I believe it is okay to tell them, “I am sorry you are not happy here and don’t like our rules, it appears it might be time for you to find a place of your own”. Reassure them doesn’t mean you don’t love them, maybe just time for a change. And then offer to help them find a place or maybe with the deposit or find a job or whatever to help them transition out to the grownup world they think they can’t wait to be a part of 
.
Ps. And give them a time line like in 3 months you need to be in a place of your own. Something of that sort. Keep in mind what works for one family is not one size fits all. Take the advice everyone here has given and make your own version of it. Best of luck !
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Military if they are of age and can’t support themselves. It also helps them grow up and learn respect and responsibility. I went in at 18 and loved it. Best thing I did for myself
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My home my way. Put them out and let them take care of themselves. It may grow them some respect, or let them learn they can take care of themselves. Or teach them they need more, education,income, respect for others, and no one owes them anything, especially from family. People that can’t listen and respect their parents, usually have it hard in life. Because your parents are usually advising as they know for themselves. Your best interest at their heart. If you can’t take guidance from someone that committed to you. Then you will learn your life lessons from your experience with life. Some good sometimes very bad. Doing it the hard way. Big unnecessary risk, when you have parents and family that care about your success in life. Make good choices.
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It’s called tough love. Especially if this individual is disrupting the lives of others in the household. They will find that no matter where you go there are ground rules to live by. They may find that your rules aren’t so bad after all
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I have a twin brother and younger brother who both moved out long before I did. My parents laid out the rules and we had the choice to follow them, or as my mom said, “find your own place to make your own rules”. Both my brothers chose to find other places to live. They moved out at 18, I moved out at 24 (after I finished grad school). They were happier in their own places, and so were my parents
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As the oldest child, have you put “parental” privileges on them… like constantly watch their younger siblings, do for their younger siblings, etc? If so, that may be why the feel they have a say when it comes to their siblings. So, in a way, you kinda created that mentality.
If the child is 19 and has graduated from high school, is the child not working? If not, then you need to tell them to start paying their way in life and to get a job. Then you can start charging them to stay there: for rental of their room, groceries, lights, gas, water, cell phone, car insurance, car payments, Wifi, etc.
They probably won’t like the idea and will probably start looking for somewhere else to live… and then problem solved.
Best of luck.
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Hell yes it’s ok! Anything you allow him after 18 is a privilege, not a right! He should be paying some sort of rent too. My 30 year old had to learn the hard way. And she learned! I wasn’t going to put up with her crap, drinking and chaos she brought to our home. She wouldn’t follow the rules. I gave her a written 30 day notice. Thankfully now she’s sober and doing really well. 
Don’t feel guilty about making him earn his way in life. That’s our job. To teach our children how to be independent adults. You can be his friend later in life. Good luck. 
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My 26 year old still lives at home. He is generally pretty respectful and he can stay as long as that continues. He is highly protective of his mother because I have had some pretty serious procedures and a head on car crash in the 17 years since he lost his older sister and best friend to the ravages of Congenital Heart Disease. He very much would like to move out and he will the time is right. Thankfully our house is big enough that we don’t see each other to much. Everyone has there own issues. He holds a full time + job with benefits.
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A child that rebells against their parent ought to learn the hard way after warnings of consequences to disrespect it they presist in rebellion against their parents! Best example is in Genesis where the first man and woman rebelled against God. He cast them out of the garden (home) He had prepared for them! They are considered to be of age at 18. As long as they respect the parent and the home, allow them to reside in the home. My middle child was 24 when he moved out.
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When we graduated high school in June we had to have a job by September my parents helped us with a car because we’re all two years apart so we got to use the car until the next one graduated we had to pay with the insurance we had to have a job and we had to save for our car. We also had to pay rent. It wasn’t a lot but it was still rent. I think that’s only fair it helps prepare you for the real world of having to pay bills. When I decided I was a little bit too big for my britches I was asked to leave. They gave me a month to find a place. It’s called tough love grow up. It helped me a lot
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The statement is: “As a young adult, if you choose to live with our family, you must abide by our values, which include respect for one another, (parents and siblings), and contribute to the household financially and with chores. If you choose not to, I want you to move out within 30 days, knowing I love you and want your well being…”
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In some states you are legally responsible for a child until age 21 legal age of majority. That being said remove the door, the sheets, the curtains little by little but the door being the biggest one. Respect is earned and if he is being disrespectful not having privacy is huge at his age.
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Yes no respect for parents put them out in the real world will appreciate what they had at home
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Yes absolutely. Your responsibility to him stopped when he turned 18. If he is being disrespectful to you and his siblings simply tell him to pack his stuff and get out.
I remember my sister telling my mom “I don’t have to respect you” my mom packed her stuff and told her to get out until she did learn to respect her.
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Well my mom told me since I was in college, I could live with her rent free. I was working then and helped around the house.
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When our son was 18, we told our son to leave. It was heart wrenching, difficult, and more. But , he wasn’t abiding by our rules or respecting us. It took almost 3 months but he came home. We only had 3 rules for him to follow. It was life changing for all
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I don’t get those kids that wanna stay after they are grown. As soon as i was 18 i was out my momma house. Yes it’s time for them to move out and get their own place.
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No, not okay. Its called unconditional love. Really. Lol much too young. Kids today stay home into thier twenties, when established they move out. Could never do that to my children
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At 19 they may be an adult by age, but seriously could they look after themselves? We have a large family, and each of them grew up with different attitudes etc. In my experience, back chat to whoever is a normal thing for someone of that age. If you ask them to leave now,you would be sending them away with those attitudes and not helping them for their future life. It might be hard to live with at the moment, but they need to see your love for them in action ,to help solve their issues. Talk to them, listen to them. Being the eldest of four might be a very uncomfortable thing to carry. Let them be the one who decides when it’s the right time to leave. If you do it, you might break something already fragile.
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You can. But also need to be prepared to kick the others out as well when they become of age. Which is soon. Can’t let some of them stay and not the other
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There were 11 of us. We all moved out at different times. But if we were being bad examples to our younger siblings our parents told us it was time to go.
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My oldest disrespectful me in public one time when she was 18. When we got in the car I told her that I had clothed her, fed her, and put a roof over her head for 18 years but if she ever cursed at me again in public or in private, I would personally pack.her bags and lock her out of my house because she was now all grown up and would just have to figure out how to take care of herself. She suddenly became very nice and did not move out till she was 20. LOL
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Child or not, I won’t be disrespected in my home. Wise up or kick rocks.
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I gave mine two options: Be more considerate and help around the house (not paying rent) or Find another place to live. And she chose to move out (and pay rent).
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tell your 19 to raise his/her right hand and repeat: I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."
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I have a 21 year old in college, she lives away and mostly takes care of herself and an 18 year old that lives at home. In sept following his graduation… I told him if he was not full time in school he needed to pay $100 a week in rent. He doesn’t help out much around the house but he does his own laundry and buys a lot of his own food and pays for his own car and insurance. I’m sure he will leave when he is ready but I still have a 14 and 13 year old at home so it’s not like he is keeping me from having the house to myself. I’d perfer them to stay until they can for sure afford life on thier own… but they have to pay some rent and take care of thier own things. So far… it’s working out
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Maybe, mutual respect should be a thing? The whole “I’m your parent” so I demand respect thing but won’t give it to you thing is old. Especially since they’re your child but not a child anymore and are entitled to their own opinion. Do they disrespect the household or do they just refuse to be controlled? Respect they’re an adult and have ground rules fine, but there needs to be specific examples of the situation.
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“Thinks and acts like they are the parent”… why does he feel the need to think and act like a parent? Are the actual parents lacking?
This happens more often than we think. Kids are forced to grow up too fast and take on parent rolls. And of course mom and dad aren’t going to like it, hence wanting him out.
As a parent of 3, I would never kick my adult children out UNLESS they are financially able to take care of themselves. Otherwise you’re just throwing them out to the streets and what kind of parent does that?
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Just tell them straight up the way it’s going to be. My children are 20,18,14,10, and 4. They all live at home. My oldest is the only one not in school. But, they all know that this is my home and there are rules. She was told at 18 along with my now 18 year old, that if they don’t like the rules than they can move out. My rules are the normal, clean up after yourself. If the dishwasher is full start it and help with the everyday stuff being that they don’t work right now. So it’s pretty easy to set rules.
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if hes a student, no…if hes not, pay rent, shape up, or blow out
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When living under someone else’s roof, you should have to abide by their rules. Don’t like the rules, then move out!
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Mm you allowed the disrespect just throwing them out will place some very harsh resentment and by telling someone to move out will that make them actually move out? I’m sorry parents do this all the time. Did we forget how we were as teenagers? I know I wasn’t perfect but my parents never turned their backs on me. No matter how disrespectful I got.
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Yes it is! It is past time for them to move! I do not care what your. Age you should have respect for your parents!
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If the 19 year old has graduated from high school and has a job, definitely. If they can’t live by house rules, show respect and contribute, then they need to be on their own.
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Remind them that it is still your home and if they don’t like the rules then get out
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Kicking your kids out for “talking back”??
Sounds a lot like “I didn’t raise my kid to respect their elders and now because I don’t know what to do and they’re technically an adult, I’m just gonna wash my hands of them”
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It’s perfectly alright! If he disrespects you in your own home, show him the door!
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Yes, set a date for him to be moved out. Is he working and has a car for transportation? Go over budget and how to obtain apartment by himself or with friends.
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Yes you absolutely can send your child packing, as difficult as it may be to do you need to ask yourself Why are you putting up with the behaviors? Honestly you are enabling your child to continue to be fully dependent on you and your family. I speak from experience with our youngest son who is 25, he moved his GF and 3 kiddos in our home I kept giving them dates and deadlines but they would come and go…so I mailed them a 30 day notice of eviction and every week I would give them verbal notice of how long they had, i started packing their things, told them daily its my house and I cannot wait to have it back, asked what are your plans come…the date given…the night before I asked for the last time and they said I dont know and I said well you have had plenty of time (11months) so heres the address and phone number to the homeless shelter, you need to call and ask if they have room for a family. It was verbally ugly that night and many times in between of then up to about 2 months ago…they now have a place of their own, son has a new job, and he tells me everytime we meet Im so sorry momma and I love you. I was the problem I couldnt let go!!! Be the solution not the problem
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I rented an apartment and handed my daughter the keys. I told her the first months rent was paid and from there it was her responsibility. I told her I loved her but can’t live with her. Best decision I made. The minute she turned 21 she turned into a human being snd we are very close now.
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Too many opinions of what’s right or wrong…how about you do what you feel needs to be done. Everyone’s style in parenting is their own. Nobody should judge you and you should not care what others think. Just remember you’re setting the tone for the 16 and 17 yr old as well…
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