Is it okay for me to ask my 19 year old to move out?

Yes, he’s an adult now but also should know who’s in charge.

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Can they support themselves and take care if themselves if so yes tell them to move or live by your rules :bangbang:

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No it’s ok to tell them to leave. Mind left after his graduation to live with his pageant girlfriend at her grandmother’s house. ( that he told me about a month before and already knew it was a boy ) stayed gone10 months and ask to come back and I let him along with his son and girlfriend. But told him it wouldn’t be like when he live here as a kid. Well 10 later told him it was time to go. Not only did they not listen but never helped pay any of the Bill’s, rent, food etc. Not only that but bouth him a truck that he run into the ground along g with hers. Let him used my truck for about two months. They both in my opinion was every mean to my 4 year old but not the 3 year old. And I had enough! Love him with all my heart but I’m not going to let them run my house and miss treat my little ones.

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Perfectly acceptable to ask them to move out.
Also, perfectly reasonable, and my personal favorite, is to start charging rent, and giving an itemized bill for their share of power, water, trash, food. They’d also have a long list of chores that would be standard in any roommate situation to contribute to the household (bathroom cleaning, dishes, etc.). The idea is to encourage them to seek the comfort of thier own home to get away from your nagging.

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Yep do not let your children disrespect you in your own house, especially since they are paying no bills. You of course will love them, but you could be setting a precedent for the other children to be as disrespectful as the older child is being! Smh I am from the old school, and if I talked back to my mother or father I would have been picking myself up off the floor! Kids need to understand boundaries and if he could find a safe place to live, maybe it’s time he gets a job and pays his own way!! Hope it works out for you guys

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I moved out at 17. My oldest daughter moved out at 18. My 2nd daughter is 18. She still lives at home but goes to college. The rule is you can stay here after 18 if you either go to college or pay rent. My oldest didn’t like rules, so she moved, but only to my grandmother’s.

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Yes! You can not support bad behavior. Its a choice every day to wake up and be a CONTRIBUTING part of a family. At a certain age, we can all respect and know how to treat one another. 19 is far past that age of making choices how to treat one another. One warning, family meeting and if things don’t change, time to be “the boss” in your own place, elsewhere.

Time to go. There is always the military. 3 coast guard and 2 army. Mine all left right after high school.

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Two out of three of my daughters were in college full time after they graduated from high school. They saw the value of higher education for themselves and are reaping the benefits of that decision. Graduated from college at 22 and doing well.
Do any of these teenagers even consider going to college instead of getting a full time job? We were happy to help our daughters get their education and they worked their way through school too.

Here’s the thing. If you have tried really hard and talked to him about it and nothings working and he is being disrespectful and causing a lot of problems and turmoil in the house and with his siblings and he refuses to make any changes on his part, the best thing for everyone is for him to move out. It’s a really tough decision to make because we love our children and the last thing we want is for them to feel unwanted or unloved . But, in cases like this, where the adult child refuses to make any kind of attempts to change, it’s better he move out and then maybe his views will change and he will grow up to be more respectful to everyone. As hard as it will be on you having to ask him to leave, you have to do what’s best for everyone. It sounds like he’s not happy and may think the grass is greener on the other side, which he won’t realize that’s not always the case, until he’s out and in his own. Best wishes.:innocent:

If over 18 & working, I think they should be able to stay out as long as they want (& no, I’m not advocating immortality, there are wholesome options past midnight & they’re not in the house disturbing anyone else), this was always a bone of contention between me & my mom. Now, I understand not allowing them to bring ppl & being made to follow all other rules & contribute around the house & financially.

My daughter graduated high school and would spend her days playing on the internet or doing nothing around the house. So I told her she either start paying rent or go to school. She decided that she would leave during the night and cut off all contact. She had it stuck in her head that we should treat her like her little brother who is 15 years younger than her. She was 19 at the time and told her she can take care of herself, but her brother still needs us to help him. Boy was she in for a wake up call, when she moved out. She had to pay for bills, rent, and for food. Now she lives near her grandfather’s side of the family. They keep her on the stright and narrow. I love her, but she needed to learn that there is more to family besides herself.

If they have a job and are financially able…absolutely! Just don’t set them up to fail…moving out isn’t as easy a process as it was when we were young.

My daughter is 14 years old now, and I have been teaching her how important it is to be respectful to me as her mother, her parent, as an adult, and how important it is to follow rules at home and at school and to even have chores daily, because if she can’t do the little things that I ask of her, and she can’t be respectful AND responsible, how is she ever going to manage life on her own!!! I have made it clear to her that as long as she graduates from High School and from college, that I will help her. I think that we should always help our children as long as they are doing well and helping themselves. That’s what loving parents do ⚘

I see it from both sides. If the child is grown still living in your house rules are rules follow them. It is like my house my rules for them to follow. If they don’t like it then give you the respect to come talk to you see why they have a problem with your rules. My fiancee and I just had the same problem with his 20 year old daughter and we said the same thing. Our house our rules deal with it. She didn’t like the fact she had to keep her room cleaned and disrespect us. She ended up and leaving cause she thought we were acting just like her mom. Even trying to sit down with her it was like talking in one ear out the other. Finally her mom and my fiancee worked out a deal where they would put her in her place cause enough was enough where she is now in a home for young adults with anger issues and we also found out that she was bipolar that got to her. It may not be in this situation but it can be a possibility that if you can’t get the point across with your adult child that you may need to get a family therapist to get it resolved cause it may help your adult child. We are doing that now even with my fiance’s daughter being there we are in a family therapy and her mom is also involved also. So we all figure out why they won’t tell us. Don’t kick to the curve maybe just see what happens and maybe military or the family therapy

Our children are not going to always be surrounded by people who love them. One day they will have to go out into the big, bad world all by themselves. If I as a parent have not prepared them for that, then I have failed them.

We have 6 kids and we told them all, the youngest of which is 22, that they would get two presents on their 18th birthday. $100 and a set of luggage so they better be ready. Thank God they all were.
For you, if they are creating havoc in your home you ABSOLUTELY have the right to ask them to leave. They will be butthurt at first but will thank you later in life. Mine have.

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My parents had rules and so did I…my house, my rules. Obey
. them or leave. My sons had to move home for awhile when he was in this 30’s and he abided by the rules, including calling if he was going to be late or not coming home.

Growing up we were told that once we were out of school either by graduation or dropping out we were expected to get a job and as long as we were living under our parents roof contribute to the household. I opted to join the Marines and made a career out of it. So, tell him to move out.

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When I was 17, I was accepted to a college that I could drive to and from each day. I knew that I was not ready for the real world yet. So, my parents made me “the deal”. As long as I was in college, worked part time to maintain my car and pay the insurance, helped around the house (mow the grass, laundry, etc), and help my mom run errands (she could no longer drive), I would live at home without paying rent or putting money into food or any other home expenses. I still had to abide by the house rules (duh). I did buy food here and there, and brought home takeout on occasion, but can anyone honestly tell me that this was not the best deal any teen could ask for? When I turned 21, and I was ready, I moved out to attend grad school.

My daughter has a similar deal, at 16, with her having a car and cell phone as long as she gets good grades works on weekends to pay for insurance and upkeep, and helps around the house. She is getting with “the deal”, but slowly. Stay tuned!

I feel like it is. My house my rules. If you think you are grown enough to run your mouth to me and act like your the boss then maybe you need to move out and be on your own.

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your home your rules. they can not following them as an adult then time to move on!

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Mine are welcome to stay as long as they like… But at 18 they are to be in college or working, and if they choose to work and not be in school there will be rent to help with bills. Whatever we charge them in rent will go into an account for their first down payment on their first house someday, but I won’t be telling them that lol. At any point they are acting in any way that disrupts the household over and over again… Out.

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You need to set the rules this is what is allowed. Chores, bed time if you require them home by a certain hour, respect, cussing, etc. And let them know if they can’t follow what you have laid out for them then they will need to leave. Also have it written out. Make a copy. Maybe you want them paying rent even if it’s like 50 or 100 dollars. After a month I would see if they made the changes needed if not give them a 30 days notice. Most of the time you need to give notice. There was a famous one about parents evicting their 30 something year old son from their house in like New Jersey or something. So if you want them out for sure make sure your documenting. If they can’t follow your rules giving them a notice of eviction 30 days. Make a copy or film it. Person may throw it away and say they never received it. This famous case I stated went to actual court and they stated parents did give notice and were within their right and kid did leave. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that but cover your butt. Also you want to put this in place because the younger siblings are watching. If the oldest gets away with it they may start to act like him. If you stand your ground they will see what happens if they try the same. Your giving them a choice, change and stay or leave and do what you want.

It certainly is okay. However, for kindness’ sake, you might want to sit down with your child in a peaceful moment, away from the other children, and talk seriously about moving out, and that you will always love this child (even when the child is 60, should you both live so long). The talking back is something a very young person does–by 19, this son or daughter is definitely ready to move out, especially with the rudeness.

If you charge him rent then he should be able to do whatever he ( except be disrespectful) wants bc he is then a paying tenant. If anyone else was a tenant then you wouldn’t expect them to follow your rules. If you still want to be in control then no rent but sit him down and explain the rules, if he can’t follow them then he needs to move out.

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Suicide rates are really high. Your 19 year old needs someone to talk to about growing up and respect. Think before you act

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is he/she paying rent? as soon as my son graduated, he began paying rent, helping with homeowners insurance, etc – and he felt that it was the right thing to do. then again he is our only child & we brought him up to do the right thing (even and especially when no one is looking). he wasnt ready to move and i sure didnt want him to – he turned out to be an awesome adult. teach your kids fiscal responsibility when they are young! if he/she doesnt play by the rules, out they go

When a child is 19 and back talking parents it is definitely time to move them out. That’s disrespectful not only to the parent but to the siblings as well. My daughter is 20 and still lives at home, she’s been through the Army too and still has to follow rules. If they don’t like it at age 19 they can move or abide by the rules and be respectful.

First of all no child has the right to talk down to a parent no matter what age and he’d be gone from my house.

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Ha my 16 year old granddaughter, that I’ve raised since birth, thinks she knows it all and very disrespectful.
She has a high IQ so she feels she knows it all . ugh.

Moving out does not necessarily make you an adult. Where i come from we all remain with our parents in our 20s unless we found a partner or got married. Needless to say we are respectful and a close knit. Most families remain close and in each others life even when children get married and have new house etc. It is common yo keep in touch on a weekly basis. Either they come to our house or we visit theirs. Making someone an adult is not neccessarily throwing him out by the age of 18. Most of us graduate from universities and save more money in this way, eventually buying our places and NOT renting out.
Me and my siblings helped around and behaved well for as long as I can remember. Respect and responsibility are taught from young ages and you do not magically become an adult by age 18. We learn how to cook, clean and help around from early ages… bdw Im European

I personally wouldn’t she is still very young and needs to know she is loved no matter what however I would lay down some very firm boundaries (regarding how she speaks to you and other people in the house) if she doesn’t have a job you can remove the things you pay for she is no longer a child but she is still a kid but that’s just me

Let’s here from the other side before any decisions are made. I learned from experience a lot of adults see disrespect as their child proving them wrong or asking for emotional support and to not be emotionally manipulated in anyway :unamused: and then when the child starts acting out for real the first answer isn’t let’s figure out why but let’s kick them out. Great parenting

I talked to my kids before they graduated high school and told them that if they went to college they could live with me but if they didn’t go to college they had to get a job and eventually move out so all four of my kids went to college and now they have great jobs and are living very productive lives

Ok, I believe some of this is made up, but I will answer the obvious. You are the parent… Uh, or do you need to check the birth certificate ? It is your house, right ? You as the " parent " have raised a brat and failed to raise a child into a responsible productive young adult. Tell him he has 1 week to leave and LET HIM FIGURE OUT LIFE ON HIS OWN. Put his items on the porch and change the locks if necessary. He thrown a fit, call the cops. Grow a backbone and do the right thing for once. You don’t need his gunk and especially the younger siblings don’t need it either. Good luck on growing a pair.

My children will be allowed to stay with us as long as they want. They will however follow rules and be held accountable for certain things. If they are going to college then they are welcome to stay rent free. If they are working then they will pay “rent” that we will save for them. As soon as they feel they are ready to live on there own then they will be given that money to help with there new home. But… they will not be allowed to mooch of us and take it for granted, bad attitudes and disrespect isn’t tolerated now and it won’t be tolerated then.

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first off the 19 year old needs to know that as long as you are living under my roof you will follow my rules-2nd are they able to support themselves if they move out? will they be able to pay the deposit and first months rent? if not start charging them some rent and unknownst to them put it away until you have enough to pay the deposit and first months rent then tell them find a place to live and let them know they have already set side the 1st months rent and deposit. Do not tell them to move out and then offer to pay there rent just to get them out or they will never become responsible.

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Yes, it’s okay to ask your 19 year old to move out, especially if they’re being disrespectful and making your home uncomfortable for you and their siblings. Once your child graduates high school/reached 18 you have given them all you owe them anything you do after that is a gift/because you want to. Your children owe you respect ALWAYS regardless of their age and that’s the first and last thing you need to make sure they learn by accepting nothing less. It will also teach your other children if they want to remain in your home that you demand respect. Best of luck, I know how difficult this must be.

Every case is different…depends on child, parents, space, attitudes. Cannot imagine asking strangers for advice. Ask your partner or yourself the pros and cons of child staying or leaving. Imagine cons would outweigh the good. You are the parent. You pay the bills. You make the decisions. Why confuse yourself with hundreds of other stories.

I just ask my oldest daughter to move out the house. she’s 23, refuse to get a job, I’m done with all negative attitude.

He wants to act like a big man he can go live like one. Let’s see how far he gets before he comes back to you apologizing begging for you to take him back in because he can’t do it on his own :100::woman_shrugging:t3:

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Explain it’s your house your rules. She doesn’t like it move. Give her 30 days to move. May be a hard lesson but you’ll be doing her a favor in the long run.
She wants to stay give her rules to follow including paying rent.

My daughter wanted to move out at 18 . This was at a time where we definitely weren’t getting along.I begged her to stay one more year, and thank goodness she did. I think that extra year really helped her to mature a bit more ( she was a very responsible young adult, I just wanted an extra year under her belt before being on her own) I’m glad she did.

My youngest daughter don’t like our rules. She doesn’t like to be told what to do. She doesn’t want 9pm is the curfew in our home. She moved out on her own. Now she is an adult and she have kids,and have her own house. The need to learned to be independent.

Different homes different rules. As for me I left on my own at age 20 even my family refused me to go but I insisted due to the inconvenience I was experiencing and ever since then I have been living all alone , no visitations and I don’t allow friends to stay with me because that’s how I was brought up not until last year December I did my wedding and now by March I will be 40 in other words I spent 20yrs all by myself so if you send them out at that age they can cope pending on the upbringing you gave to them. Thanks

Regardless of what the situation is. He or she is full grown. Needs to get jobs and go start there own lives. And for the few of you there is no 2 sides parents had them raise them clothed them put a roof over their heads put them through school parents are right its time to move on. That doesn’t mean that parents don’t love there kids. After 18 19 years its a me time.

It all depends on your state… in NY you are responsible for them till 21. If that said person cannot support themselves the state will ask you to help them.

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I was truly blessed. Have 3 sons and they lived at home till age 25 to 28. They attended school and 1son was in university. They were wonderful boys never had issues. Rule was you get out of line yu are out. My baby bought a house last summer and moved. It broke my heart. He was 27

Your house your rules. They need to respect the rules the parents set, if not they can find somewhere else to live. With the option of coming back anytime as long as they agree to follow the rules of the house.

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I would think twice about putting any child out. They may be the one that tends to you in old age. Demand he respect you and stick by it.

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You tell them what my mom told me,this is my house!! These are my rules!!! If you dont like it you can move!!!

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I had two younger brothers. Mom and Dad owned a three bedroom home. When I graduated high school my parents bought a two bedroom home. My Dad said to me “You get my drift?”. So I bought their previous home and lived across the street from them.

As the parent, it is up to you to set the rules. If they decide they don’t like the conditions, they can go. Hardest thing I did was tell my son he had to go. But, not respecting my home, my rules, was a no-go. He learned after some stumbles and has even apologized since for what he put me through.

I would have told them to move out at 18! Look, they’re adults now. If you did everything you could in educating him/her, taught them how to survive out there, get a job, etc why can’t they just leave? They should! They’re disrupting your household and defying your authority. It’s a big no no for me.

I am sure you raised independent and self sufficient children. I would assume this 19 year old child is working and earning their own income.
Absolutely, give them the boot. You have given them the skills they need to be productive citizens.

If they disrespectful and not helping around the house and causing fights, yes let them move out. They need to learn to grow up and be responsible adults

Obviously have a conversation about it and handle it well.

What kind of question is this? Kick them out… but It’s your fault they act the way they act… and if u don’t fix your parenting and disciplining skills all your kids are act the same. Weak parenting causes these kids to think they can run the show… be strong in your parenting… it will benefit you and your children as they grow up and become adults. I’m tired of hearing about kids like this… smh whoops their little butts… take stuff away… make them bored out of their minds until they learn the proper way to act.

Being a widow…I have now A 28 who’s married…my SON is 23 who’s now in the Military…yay!!! And my youngest is 14…I’ve def went thru that w my 2 oldest…BUT you best believe NO Dispresct…:100::100::100:…So being 19…technically you no longer have to take of them​:point_left:t6:…their GROWN period!!!..:woman_shrugging:t6::flushed::face_with_raised_eyebrow:

If they think they’re grown, put them out and show them what it’s really like to be grown. Play some tough love momma.

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Your house your rules they are old enough to think they are the parent they are old enough to get a job and move out especially if they refuse to change their behavior

Just tell her it’s time for her to go. She’s an adult and needs to take responsibility for herself. She can go be her own parent since she thinks she’s your parent. Put her in her place.

I told my daughter she could stay home as long as she stayed in some kinda school…now my son the min he turned 18 it was like bye bye mom and dad.and he’s 27 and hasn’t moved back in…and worked and went to emt school.

Have they finished school? If that’s a yes, do they have a job, then I’d have a talk about attitude, if it appears that there will not be improvement in that area,then id give him a dead line to move, perhaps you can find a decent,small place for them to live, pay 3 months rent,tell them they have three months to figure it out and start paying rent and caring for themselves, tell them they are more than welcome to come to dinner every Sunday, when your able to make this decision you must stand by it, stand strong!

If they are causing a disruption then yes. Time to go.

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You are the parent and run the household if they can’t abide by the house rules then they have to go period

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:laughing::grin::laughing::grin::nerd_face: Really? You serious? Heck, we have heard and been telling our kids they need to have a plan in place by the time they turn 18. Peace out, love you, call if you need some advice, guidance, come to visit, especially on holidays, but… at 18, that’s how it was done in my family.

I’m so surprised at all these comments. I’m a Nigerian and that moving out esp when u r not married does not apply to us. I have had d urge of moving out but people n family kicked against it, saying that it’s a taboo to be on ur own as a single lady. And here on this platform all comments are pointing at it as being cool even after high school. I’m 29 n still with my parents, waiting for a man to come take me away or wen my job takes me to some where far from my family.

You bet it is ok to tell them to get out. Your first mistake was allowing them to talk to you in a non respectful way. If it was my kid I would be telling the kid its time to be the adult they pretend they are.

If they have a job and are making enough to take care of themselves yes. If not no. I’m 22 married with children but don’t put your kids out if they have no job or a crap job making min wage

I raised mine very happily. We gad ups and downs. When it came down to it I asked them to pay for foid and gas. Until they left home. But they are all always welcome in my home. I am 70 raised 13 kids mine my daughter’s and my son’s and I adopted 1. Most if them still live here.

I would collect the monthly bills and tell them if they want to be in charge they get the responsibility too.

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My Mom and Dad always said “ as long as you live under our roof, you live by our rules, if you don’t like it, there’s the door “, it’s all about love and respect

Have a heart to heart talk. Set rules and boundaries with consequences. Want a car? Get a job! Want a phone 19 year old MUST pay for it. If you stay in the home you MUST help financially what you can. Another option are they going to college / trade school ? Started this talk before kids were teens. Keep communication open because things could change.

Life is about rules and compromise if 19 year old wants to live home and be treated like an adult then 19 year old follows rules and contributes to household not just financially. If 19 year old disrupting household. Time to go

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I would have a heart heart discussion and ask them to leave politely first then if the behavior continues you know what you got to do honey.

I had no choice but to kick my eldest daughter out at 18. She refused to go to school, to get a job and extremely disrespectful. Her behavior became a danger. I had 3 younger children at the time to think about. It was the hardest decisions I was forced to make.

Process should have begun when he was little or when he first started talking back and treating you like the child in this relationship.
You need to set up new rules 1. Respect 2. Pay Room & Board 3. Chores and lastly he needs to find a job. Make up a contract for him to sign and if he doesn’t live up to it is he is on his own.

Your child is 19 yrs old. They are legally an adult. So yes, you have every right to tell them to move out

Parents can kick a kid out for NO reason when they turn 18. My son was HORRIBLE from kindergarten up. No matter what I did he wouldn’t listen. He tried to run the house. I did EVERYTHING I could think of. Counselling, punishment, rewards for good behavior. Nothing worked. My daughter was the opposite. Never gave my a days trouble. By the time he was 9 I was counting the days til he was 18. When he was 17 I got a calendar and started X-ing out the days one by one. He laughed at me and continued to be awful. His 18th birthday I had the police escort him out of my house and got a restraining order. So if they don’t listen to you tell him to hit the road.

Definitely. The reason he is acting as he is, is because he thinks he can get away with it. Give him 6 months but he has to get a job, pay rent if 300$ a month plus his phone Bill’s, and 100$ for food and utilities. He does his own laundry and keeps his part of the house clean. No dirty dishes…he uses it he can put it in dishwasher. I know…you will say you dont need it but do what I did to all 3 of my kids. I put the money aside and in month 5 help him find a apartment that he can afford. Put the money he gave you toward his deposit and 1st months rent. Gather some if your extra household goods in boxes…get new for yourself and at beginning of lease at his apartment…help him move in.
By you doing it this way he should learn to be a adult. If not…dont let guilt let him move back in.
Most of all Bank of Mom is closed. Yes you can bring over food but dont clean his place, dont give him cash.stop allowing him to baby him. Respect is earned not just give. By doing this he will have to grow up mentally. Hard for you…yes but it will show his siblings not to disrespect his parents.

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This is my take on the subject. The poster is saying that her 19 is acting like the parent and being disrespectful to their parent, question is why is the 19yr old doing that? Could it be that the 19yr old has always had to be the parent bc of their parent having some type of substance abuse or mental illness and now the parent is clean/sober or finally getting help for their mental illness? If that’s the case then the 19yr old is being disrespectful bc they’ve always had to be the parent and now it’s hard to give up that control to their actual parent that is now better adept to parent the younger children. Classic child of users issues

Sure is in my book! He’ll find out real quick how nice it was at home! As long as his feet are under my table and I am paying the bills, he will do what we say or move out!!

Give him the reasons that he can not stay there any longer. Then allow him to change his ways. If not then give him one month to find work and a place to move. Stick to your demands. He is expressing himself as an adult so he needs to be treat as one. Will he need help? Probably but let him make it on his own and only help if hes trying to do so.

Yes, ask them to move if they are constantly disrupting the household, If setting boundaries and rules doesn’t work, along with working but not wanting to contribute. If they are working on getting their own place, they should stay in order to achieve that.

Told my daughter when she turned 18 she had a choice,college or working.She choose college.Have to be stern or otherwise will live off u

Tough love sucks make rules and demand respect or yes make um leave how pack there bags give them a couple days to leave good luck

To those that told you to make him pay rent then if he’s paying rent then you treat him as a renter Which means he has say so not have to go by mommy daddy rules

Yes he’s an adult. Respect or the door

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Yes. Tell them you live by my rule, treat others in the house with respect, or move out. You have 30 days. If you stay you will get a job & pay rent, clean up after yourself. Stick with it.

Oh yrs kick their entitled butts out. I did my son’s and they lived in their car for a while before getting a place. You can’t say it nicely just say it they will get the jest of it. You only needed to support them until the age of 18 and tell them that and be blunt about it don’t sugar coat it and if needed have a police officer there to get the point across. It’s not going to be easy but you have to firm.

Yes it’s still YOUR home no entitlement unless he’s contributing went thru the same came back your rules or go

Yes it is ok to ask him to move out. He is an adult and needs to start acting like one!!!

Would you let a friend live there who acted like that? Blood doesn’t mean you have to tolerate rude or abusive behavior.

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You have a lot of kids almost ready to leave the nest. Make your expectations clear to your 19year old with some advance notice. I used to do a typed “contract” for my kids spelling it all out. It is almost February and so give him a few months to pull himself and his expenses together. Tell him you would like him to have moved out of your house by the end of July. Is he working?? If yes, he needs to start saving money to pay first month’s rent and last and security deposit. Does he have a car? A cell phone? Who pays for these? If you are paying anything tell him how long you will continue to pay. “I will continue to pay for your cell phone until your birthday in August.”” He needs to start talking to friends and co-workers about finding an apartment or house to rent. Have both of you sign the “contract.” With each of you having a copy to refer to. Make sure your 17 year old is aware of all of these plans so that he or she knows what to expect when they turn 18 or 19. If your 19 year old is not working, you need to spell out when you expect him to have a job. Good luck. This worked for me with my two sons who are now 42 and 38 and are both married and own their own homes.
P. S. I asked my 9-year old grandson who is visiting if he though it was ok for you to tell your 19 old son to move out. He said his mother tells him 18, so he said yes, you may have your son move out! Tell your son even a 9 year old thinks he should move out and live on his own!

Yes. If he thinks he is an adult by acting like he owing the house, he needs to get some adult business.

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I could never kick my kids out ! But if he has a job to take care of his self tell him he has to straighten up or he has to be out in a month !

Everyone should have responsibilities wherever they live and whomever they live with. When your 8 you clean your room. When you are 18 you cut the grass and do laundry and clean your room.

Are they contributing to your house? If not, it’s time for them to learn what real life is like. Help them if necessary but no you not bout to live under my roof and disrespect me like that if you’re grown and don’t contribute.

Set a date that you expect them to leave. Then make them get out. I know, from experience, the longer they still the longer they’ll wanna stay and contribute nothing but making messes and jacking up the utility and grocery bills. It’s hard but they (and you) will be better off.