I am due any day now with my first kid, and also have two bonus kids, 8 and 5. We have my bonus kiddos a little less than part-time, but it’s only a matter of time before they see my breastfeeding / pumping … any advice on how to explain this to them in a way that’s appropriate. ALSO - Would you be uncomfortable with your own kid seeing their stepmom feed the baby? Yes, I know it’s natural, but I’m really confused about how to handle this!
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Do what makes you most comfortable. You shouldn’t have to worry about it honestly. It’s feeding your baby. 
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If they were younger I’d say it’s fine but since they are older and could possibly tell their mother in a way that may be misinterpreted I would say keep yourself covered when feeding. If you guys only have them less than part time it shouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience
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Of course it’s ok! I have 4 kids (2 different dads) and we adopted our nephew. My 4th baby is 18 months old and my bonus is 6. He was in awe. He thought it was so cool that mom’s body made baby sisters food. You could ask them depending on age. But really it’s whatever you’re comfortable with. You should be able to feed baby anytime anywhere but you could designate a feeding spot. And also, I would not feel weird about my kids seeing anyone else breastfeeding their baby, related or not.
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To be honest I’d ask my husband on how he feels and if he can ask the mother on their views. Being a bonus mom is tough especially when there’s a bio-mom who isn’t nice.
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Your baby. Your house. Feed your baby. Period. 
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If you guys have a functioning relationship with their mom tell them that you are breastfeeding and that way she knows what to expect as far as questions and help her have a response to that as well. You shouldn’t have to smother yourself or your child in your own home. There are ways to keep almost everything covered up but the truth is this is normal and you should feel proud of breastfeeding
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I do but everyone is different it just depends on how comfortable you are with each other
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Baby gotta eat. I wouldn’t be mad at any Mum feeding her baby in front of my kids. Maybe ask their mother her thoughts?
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It’s just feeding a baby. They’re going to be parents someday too. Let them learn.
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I did. I’m not hiding in my own house to feed my child. We just explained why and this is normal and what it was and it ended up being fine. My step son was 5 at the time. It’s not a big deal unless the environment you’re in makes it a big deal. Kids learn to react how they see their adults react.
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I wouldn’t cover.
When we cover our bodies up, it creates almost too much modesty. Theres nothing sexual or wrong about feeding a baby, hell they may have been breastfed too 
Teach them it’s the best food for little new babies, tell them about it, make it a biology lesson.
Best way to make it not sexual or weird is information, answer all questions no matter how silly, and include more stuff about to learn about their bodies. Kids are usually fascinated with how their bodies work, I know i was!
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There is absolutely no reason you should not feel comfortable breastfeeding anywhere, especially in your own home. Don’t even give this a second thought.
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Of course it’s ok. It’s natural. It’s important that breastfeeding is normalised.
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Feed the baby and if they ask give age appropriate answers. Treat like is t a big deal Bc it isn’t.
Feed that baby, momma. Doesn’t matter who’s in the room. Simply tell the other kids that you are feeding the baby and it’s completely natural. Don’t stigmatize breast feeding to them and they won’t be uncomfortable.
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If you do it right they wont see anything with breastfeeding. But there is zero reason for them to see you pumping.
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I don’t personally have step children but my daughter does have a step mom. If she ever breast fed or pumped in front of my daughter… I’d applaud her. I’d only ask that she explain to my kiddo that its natural. That babies can way from a boobie or a bottle. If you’re unsure, ask the kids mom. 
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Don’t make a big thing out of it. Start explaining now how babies are fed, and what’s to be expected. There is nothing wrong with feeding a baby in front of anyone.
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I’d say team up with bio mum and maybe have her talk to them or ask if you’re allowed to? That way nothings interpreted in a bad way
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Your boobs, your baby, your choice.
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I was in the same position. If you are amicable with the bio mum ask her view on it, if not just send the kids outside to play or put a movie on for them to watch. Don’t hide from them, but you can distract them and make it seem more of a normal thing
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As a mom of a child with younger siblings from other mothers, I have literally zero issue with this and it was never even discussed. I have no idea how the other mothers fed/feed (1 is 6 and 1 newborn 
) their babies. I’m sure discussing it with her or having dad talk with her just so she can answer questions they may prefer to ask her would be fine. This of course depends on their mom’s relationship with you and dad. Goodluck with the new baby and navigating this new family dynamic.
I don’t think it’s necessary to pump in front of your step children, that can be done in private. Breastfeeding, though, should be done whenever and wherever you need to. I would explain to them when you do it that you are feeding the baby. I breastfed in front of my 8 and 12 y.o. step sons last year and then this year with the new baby, and there were questions at first but I think I was more uncomfortable with it at first than they were, they were just curious.
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I have a hcbm so I just took my son into my room, my stepsons tell us everything she does so I just try to do as much as I can to prevent them having conflict at home
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I always breastfeed in front of my stepson and anyone else as it’s natural… I also don’t find it weird my stepsons mother breastfeeds in front of my son or us… but In saying that I always covered when I pumped or left the room unless it was just me and my mum, husband or sister… not sure why I just did
Just tell them that it’s how their sibling eats just they how they eat and drink, just differently
My daughter is 4 with special needs and automatically new that her baby brother was drinking milk when she saw me breastfeeding
I have two older kids and I’m due in dec with the 3rd. I’m all for breastfeeding but I don’t think my children want to see my breast. When theyre little it’s ok but when they get older it’s uncomfortable for them. Just cover up a bit, or announce you’re going to feed the baby they’re welcome to stay but if they’re not comfortable maybe go play in the other room. As for pumping, that is also a private thing they make lots that fit under your shirt, or again cover up. You wouldn’t pump in public, so why have the kids see there’s no need for it.
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Just do it the most natual milk made by mpm for her special baby mom raised 9 in church on breast milk gofs way
I breastfeed in front of my bonus kids 6 and 8. For a couple of reasons. 1) it’s my house and I’m not gonna hide for 12 hours a day while I’m feeding. 2) if they were my bio kids I would do it and I treat all my children the same if I gave birth to them or not. 3) this one surprised me, I have only been breastfeeding for 7 weeks and I do not think of my breasts in a “sexy” way anymore, they are simply the way I feed my baby, they might as well be a bottle.
My bonus kids don’t think that it’s abnormal at all or inappropriate or anything. They just see their baby being fed.
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You’re feeding your baby. That’s it. Full stop. Would you ask your stepkid’s mom if you could give your baby a bottle in front of them? No? What’s the difference? There isn’t one. Feed your baby and be happy.
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Talk to their dad about it.
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Honestly I don’t get the 'bonus ’ kid thing at all.
All the kids in my home were treated the same.
I had my 2 own and my husband’s elder boys.
The only difference was they went to their other biological parents for part of school holidays and alternate weekends.
All the kids would even come sit on the bathtub as l took a shower in a private shower and chat. ( but leave when I was ready to get out, age range 14 to 4)
We were a family!
Explain the birds and bees
I have a 14, 3 and 6 week old. When I pump or breastfeed, I just warn my 14 year old im hooking up to pump or latching baby on and he makes sure not to look in my direction until I situate myself so im covered and then warn before I unhook pump or unlatch baby and that’s that lol my 3 almost 4 year old I dont worry much about it because he doesn’t pay attention much. Id say just do what you feel is appropriate for their age and your comfort. For me, my 14 year old knows its natural and what im doing but I give him a warning because he doesn’t need to see moms business 
i don’t go hide in another room by any means and that works for us.
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It shouldn’t matter but unfortunately it does.
I’d talk to the mother and your partner and make sure everyone is on the same page. The last thing you need now is conflict between exs and by reaching out and making the effort, if it does go pear shaped, you are in the clear because you made an effort to co-parent/negotiate expectations.
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Do what you need to do to feed your baby. If your concerned about the mom having issues, discuss it with your husband and maybe mention it to the mom. Not sure why some people here are saying it’s okay to breastfeed in front of them but not pump. It’s the same thing, it’s feeding your baby. I exclusively pump so I’m hooked up every 2 hours. I’m always pumping infront of members of my household and would be if I had step kids too. It’s still breastfeeding.
Yes its ok as long as you are comfortable. Just answer any questions they may have about it… Dont make it like its something bad or abnormal and they wont feel like it is either… I breastfed in front of mine. Most of the time covered but if they happen to come in our bedroom and seen me uncovered it didnt bother them either way. Now they both say both ways of feeding babies is good.
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It’s not like you cant cover up. They won’t see your breast so I think its ok
I’d pass the idea by Mum but I personally think that anyone having a problem with something so natural would be the one in the wrong, not you. When my kids saw their younger siblings being fed and enquired, I told them that baby was drinking milk from Mummy’s boobie because that’s where some baby’s milk comes from. They didn’t batt an eyelid lol
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If that uncertain or confused, take some quite time go to your room and relax while feeding! I’m certain that would give baby less distraction. Good luck and enjoy
Personally if it was me no. I never pumped or breastfeed in front of my kids i always made sure if i pumped i was behind closed doors and if i was breastfeeding i was covered up so they couldn’t see
I did openly infront of 23 step son and 21 step daughter. I think it was first time they saw it. They tried to look like they dont care and make no comments.
Kids can go play outside, play videogames, eat dinner, do something else.
Feed your baby. Don’t worry about it. If Mom has an issue with you feeding the baby in your own home? That’s mom’s issue & not yours.
They are old enough for you to leave for 20 min to feed the baby in another room. Yes it is natural, but it’s also private. They don’t need to see that and they aren’t blood.
Talk with their mom and your husband. Make sure that everyone is on the same page as far as comfort level goes. If everyone is fine with it then be prepared for questions from the little ones. Best of luck and congratulations!
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Totally natural. Just try not to let your boob hang out you know? I’d suggest turning away as much as possible too. I would never be uncomfortable with my child seeing that, if anything it’s normalizing breastfeeding to them so maybe they won’t be all psychotic about it like some people are. Pumping you could probably do discreetly tbh.
Yes? Baby has to eat and breastfeeding is normal! Children should be taught it’s normal to nurse a baby!
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Just simply say babies eat from the breast similar to eating from a bottle. That its not something that should be hidden. I wouldnt care if my boys saw their step mom breastfeeding their sisters. I want them to know what it is and to know it should be encouraged and seen as normal not sexualized.
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Breastfeeding is normal and healthy and the sooner people are educated on that the better. Like you said, eventually they’re gonna see you nurse at some point and there is nothing wrong with that. You shouldn’t have to worry about “oh god someone saw me nurse what do I do?” My oldest two were not breast fed but my youngest two were. They asked what I was doing and I simply told them feeding the baby. That mommies make special milk for babies in their bodies and it’s just one way you can feed baby. They were curious for a while and sometimes would watch and that was fine. I had nothing to be ashamed of and I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Kids who grow up with breastfeeding normalized in the home are more likely to support their partners and help to break the stigma as adults
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Have a discussion with both their Mom and Dad about this issue. I breast fed alk 3 of my children to the age of 2 and was descreate enough that most of the time no one could tell what was going on. Some babies do not nurse so descreatly and this is a very sensitive subject for some parents.
I never even thought about asking my bonus sons mom when he started coming around I just did it and never got any questions or backlash I’m not saying do this but most people don’t care
Honestly I have two older boys and I breast fed in front of them but I used a cover. They understood it is natural and that is what breast are meant for, feeding a baby. I used a cover only for the fact that I was not comfortable for my older children to see my breast. I did however breast fed in front of my nieces without a cover just for the simple fact that they were girls. It’s really up to you.
I would talk with my husband and make sure their Mom is OK with it. It is a normal act of life as far as the feeding. Pumping is different that can and should be done in private. Mycthought is you would nurse anywhere baby is hungry. Would you hook up the pump on a bus or in a restaurant? No so pump in private. Congrat on you nlessed event.
Yes, you should not have to ask permission to feed your child in your own home.
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It’s ok but try to cover. It’s for their sake and yours. Than you’ll all be comfortable with it.
When I was breastfeeding my son my daughter was 7 & had friends in & out constantly. I’d just throw a receiving blanket or baby blanket over myself. Problem solved.
I have never thought about asking to do anything in my house. I had a breastfeesing prep talk with my kids.
Talk to their mother about it, and your husband. I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it because hey it’s home, but you never know who will. I’m sure you, your husband, and their mother can come to a logical decision.
Also once you are married you become the 2nd parent to step children personally I could never treat them differently for any reason.
I think it’s actually kind and considerate that you’re taking Mom’s feelings into consideration on this too. Any reasonable person wouldn’t have an issue with it, but you’re cognizant of the fact that not everyone is reasonable. Be discreet without hiding it is my best advice.
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Do you eat infront of your kid(s)? Ya? Shouldn’t be a problem
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I don’t care who breastfeeds in front of my kids. 
It’s normal and baby’s need to eat. It’s a perfect time to educate them and help normalize it for them.
I see other comments say talk to your husband and have him talk to bio mom but I disagree. If they’re not voicing it makes them uncomfortable then I wouldn’t worry. They’ll see just as much of your breast if you were to wear a bikini top in front of them
There’s probably some books out there to help educate them that is more age appropriate.
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Have an open conversation with them if they ask. Carry on as normal and if just know that if you act like it is weird, they will pick up on that.
Covered or not they will most likely still ask questions! I always partially covered with a blanket when others were present, my stepson asked once and we told him some babies use bottles and other use moms and that was that, he just looked at it as normal
Id talk to husband and their mom on how to explain it to the kids best. Just to make sure everyone handles it the same way. Although I would never ask for permission or allow them to set rules to do it that choice is yours.
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What’s inappropriate about feeding your infant?
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I have four kids with more than one man, I encourage the new wives to breastfeed 
My step kids were 11 and 14 when I breastfed my second as my eldest was also 11. I went out the room to begin with then just warned them the boob was coming out so they could leave the room or stay lol, first time they stayed it was bit weird for me but I just distracted myself in normal conversation or what was on tv. 3 years on no one cares lmao and their mum never said anything so was all good but obviously your cherubs are younger. Maybe mention now to kids to prep them kinda you’ll be breastfeeding and just deal with mum if she says anything as she may not say anything. Good luck xx
I think it’s more respectful if you speak to their Mum and their Dad. That way no one can take issue. As natural as it is there are unfortunately some people who do feel uncomfortable- not that I’m saying they’re right at all! The fact that there is uncertainty in your mind shows you understand some people think this way still. I’m sure their Mam will appreciate you speaking to her about it too, even if she turns around and says she absolutely perfectly fine with it. She could help speak to the children and explain what’s going to happen too xx
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My autistic 6 year old understands. He sees me feed her and he tries to feed to too. Don’t beat around the bush…just explain that babies can feed from bottle or breast and your breasts produce milk. I breastfeed infront of certain people with out a cover and I breastfeed infront of certain people like a blanket tossed over my shoulder. It’s such a natural thing 
I’d ask them. Explain breastfeeding and the importance of your baby being free to eat, like they do, and ask if they’re comfortable. If they say I, I’d ask them to help you problem solve on a way that’s fair to them and then any. Maybe that means they go into the other room and you give them notice first.
Maybe just talk to their mom and see if it bothers her? But honestly it’s natural, babies have to eat. Especially at home you shouldn’t have to leave the room
I would talk to your husband, and plan a time to sit down with the kiddos to prep them on what to expect. I would never want to feel like I had to sensor myself in my own home. There is enough pressures that comes along with breastfeeding. Good luck, Momma!!
Ask the mom it’s part of co parenting.
If you feel like saying something, I would warn them to talk to the kids if they feel like explaining… but do not, under any circumstances, ask permission. Babies eat, from boobs or bottles. You do not need permission to feed your baby in your own home. That’s ridiculous. Good intentions, but it’s not something you ask permission to do.
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What is a bonus kid?
It’s human. Why would you hide it. Raise your bonus children to be informed, loving future parents
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I just explained to my 5yr old daughter that babies need milk like ppl need food (they dont have teeth so they cant eat food) and sometimes babies get a boob or bottle or both. And that only moms produce milk in there boobs lol. She has embarassingly talked about my boobs since her little sister was born in april but nothing thats inappropriate just about her sister eating and that mommy has “big boobs” shes not wrong
I feel like maybe you need to talk to both of their parents. Yes, both. I understand that he is also the father of your child, but what you and he want and what he and their mother wants are 2 different things. This is coming from someone who nannied her whole life and been in these types of situations, it’s a “family” conversation because it involves and impacts everyone, not just you two. That’s what co-parenting is about. I feel you and he should sit down with her and ask questions and talk about it and then bring it to the kids attention when the time comes. That way you already know the best way to do it before you get there, and there has to be consistency between the 2 homes or there’s going to be unnecessary drama. If you are all adults, talk about it like adults. That’s healthy co-parenting. ALL parents, biological or not, need to be on the same page so there isn’t mental or emotional confusion between the two homes. It’s healthiest for ALL the kids, not just them and not just yours. Always remember, and this goes for anyone going into a relationship that children are already involved, you are entering into THEIR lives, they aren’t entering yours. Think about that.
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My bonus kids are 23 and 12. Last year when I had my daughter, the (at the time) 11yo was in the delivery room, saw me give birth to her sister and say me pump/feed. I just cleared it with her mom first to make sure it didn’t bother her. It was explained it was natural and normal and there were zero issues.
Maybe watch some cool videos of cute baby animals nursing? Kittens, puppies, hedgehogs… let them see it for the healthy, normal thing it is BEFORE your baby comes. It’s harder now, with covid, but when I was expecting last year, I made sure my kids were aware of other moms who were feeding a baby. Not where we stood there and stared from three feet away, but just deliberately bringing it into their awareness. “Oh, let’s choose this bench instead, the lady on that bench is nursing her baby, and babies get distracted from eating when crazy kids are bouncing around nearby!”
Also, I’d talk to their bio-mom, if she’s in the picture. It would help if you were on the same page, to head of any weirdness. I wouldn’t categorically bow down to her wishes (like if she doesn’t want you to BF while they’re in the house, or something absurd like that) but if it’s feasible to get on the same page, I would.
PERSONALLY, I’d be discrete-ish when nursing in front of them, but not to the point of freaking out if a glimpse of something happens, or trying to use a cover or anything, just not whipping it right on out and leaving it out there.
Also, I know some people are more open with this than others. I’m not saying any certain amount is too much, that’s your and your family’s business. I’m just commenting on what I personally felt comfortable showing (I’m a total prude, lol) in front of my kids. Since she’s asking, I’m going to assume she’s not in the “I’m totally comfortable whipping it out” category.
Just tell them you are feeding your child. If the parents feel like explaining they should. I don’t see anything wrong with you feeding your child. For my 3 year old I just told him that I was feeding his brother and now when he hears him cry he wants me to feed him asap.
I breastfeed my baby and when she’s hungry I will feed her. My oldest girls’ friends are used to it now and I’m pretty sure they have seen my breasts.
Be honest and don’t hide who you are as a mother. Explain all moms do what they feel is the best
Get their parents permission first. You don’t want to end up in jail. I totally support breast feeding and as much as some want to be free, the prudes will prosecute…
Id talk to the bio mom about it if yall are in a semi close or close relationship see if shes fine with it. At the end of the day she and her feelings towards what she wants around her kids is 100% priority.
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I personally try to be modest and cover myself around my kids and especially my boyfriend’s kids (who are 11 & 13). I’m sure we would all 3 feel uncomfortable if I didn’t cover up. My own children don’t matter as much…my 14 year old son was in the room when I gave birth to my youngest
Breast feed it natural. My granddaughter breast feeds where ever she is when necessary. . At 5 and 8 it should be easy to explain . Why haven’t you don this before now
I fed infront of my bonus kid and nefew, they where very much interested in what was going on! I couldn’t stop them watching even if I tried
I preferred to breast feed away from people . But that’s my issue not otheres.
And I felt uncomfterbl when I had this person over and she had finished breastfeeding their child and just walked around with her tits out.
I had an oversupply of milk which made me self-conscious of breastfeeding in front of others that hadn’t seen me topless before . I couldn’t discreetly breast feed, it was top off all the way, milk every where
(the nurces were amazed though and brought other nurses in to see, I had no issue with that at all as they are medical staff)
Ask the mother how she feels about her kids seeing you breastfeed, that way no hard feeling.
If you treat it as normal behavior, so will they.
Yes totally fine normalize breast feeding it isn’t a sexual or inappropriate thing that needs to be hidden
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My oldest daughter saw her now ex step mom breastfeed her sister and asked me questions she was 3/4 at the time. It wasn’t a big deal but if I had to breastfed I would not breastfed without a cover in front of my 13 year old step son
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Yes I fed both my kids in front of my bonus child it’s not sexual just say your feeding baby just like they eat does baby no need to hide in your own home
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I would explain that that’s how the baby eats. It shouldn’t be hidden. I breastfed both of mine in front of anyone who happened to in the room.
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No they need to learn about breastfeeding and that mom is just feeding the baby
I fed mine in front of anyone and everyone, its a booby, a feeding apparatus lol
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Yes. You’re feeding your child. That’s it. No different than a bottle.
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