Anonymous Opinions, please have my opinion just trying to get others: is it ok for your significant other to be snap chatting or talking to the opposite sex that you don’t know on social media at all hours of the night because they share the same interest and are “just cool” and they didn’t tell you the only reason you know Is that they accidentally left their locked phone unlocked and you saw it and now they deleted everything.
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No way! If he deleted it he is hiding something. It might just be casual flirting and they think they are doing nothing wrong but that’s where you run into trouble. My ex was an asshole and used to message is “best girlfriend” really inappropriate stuff and his excuse was we are on opposite sides of the world it’s not like we would of acted on it 
he would also delete her messages and would FaceTime her when I wasn’t around. Don’t let him make you feel like your overreacting your a strong individual and you need to trust yourself
Why assume the writer’s partner is a ‘he’? What if the writer is a male talking about his gf/wife? It seems your opinion stems from what your ex partner did to you and you are generalising all men on that basis (potentially from a toxic mindset), which is rather unfair, and more importantly, may be unhelpful advice to the writer
Since we can’t attach links in our posts here, I’d recommend searching for ‘Chris Rock - women’s platonic friends’ It’s wisdom mixed with humour, funny but true.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it okay for your spouse to talk to the opposite gender all night?
Hmm see I wouldn’t mind my partner was messaging the other sex but deleting the messages is a bit suss.
No. And it sounds to me like you already know the answer. Don’t allow any man to make you question yourself.
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Not normal. And deleting everything… girl.
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No sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself he’s not cheating sorry.
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Negative 
If deleting everything something is going on…
Don’t settle for less then u deserve…
If my man did that he soon wouldn’t be my man.
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If they were hiding it, it’s cheating. It’s one thing to openly have friendships with the opposite sex, but communication is key; and hiding it and being up all night… and then deleting it? That’s definitely shady behavior. There was stuff they didn’t want you to see. At the very least, your boundaries were crossed. At the worst, it’s full blown cheating. Id say it’s definitely not okay in this circumstance.
Yes. Boils down to “do I trust my spouse?” If the answer is no, only you can fix that.
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I have a group thread with a couple of my bros and we talk at night cause we’re all insomniacs but we’ve been friends for years. Not random people that my husband doesn’t know.
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Once a cheater always a cheater
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Are you looking for someone to validate what you already know? Then please let me help you out because cheating is cheating is cheating. No it’s not ok and yes he needs to hit the solid side of the curb face first and yes you deserve better.
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Nah. Deleting it is a whollle different ball game. And why don’t you know the pass code? Trust is a huuuge part. If you can’t leave your phone unattended/locked you hiding something. Period! My husband and I can swap phones for the day usually because his works better for me at my work than mine. We don’t delete shit… oh and yes he texts “girls that are friends” trust
Nope. Sounds like a cheater.
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Nope. My ex did this in the beginning of our relationship. I was an idiot and took him back. Now we split up and he has a girlfriend and he is texting and calling me at at hours of the night. Just recently told him to come clean to her or I would. And I’m the bad guy! Nope it’s just not okay.
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Why delete with nothing to hide. Half truths are still lies. Why wasn’t this mentioned before? I can’t sleep but I’m not texting anybody either. Tbh we don’t feel the need to have a ton of social media in our relationship. We just don’t care for it. Snapchat is for kids
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He was secretive about it then deleted it all once you saw. Just based on that info it sounds like he’s up to no good but we don’t know him or you…or the dynamics of your relationship. Just trust your gut…it’ll tell you better than we can.
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Only if it was his grandma, mama or his sister.
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Lmao. Stop. You know its inappropriate. And disrespectful. Obviously being sneaky. Or it wdnt be on snapchat.
Well it’s been answered and my answer is the same as everyone else’s answer. You already know aswell it seems x leave the relationship and find your own worth xx
No I’m sorry I wouldnt stay up all night talking to guys just because they are cool or have similar interests to me but if one of my male friends rang messaged or text me and they needed me I would certainly be talking with them and if my partner asked which he normally does I tell him who I’m talking with I don’t hide it
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I do believe opposite sexes can be friends but he’s done treated it like a secret and deleted the stuff so therefore, I’d be worried 
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Yeah it’s okay. Just like it okay if he take all your money and send it to his snap chat buddy. Or just like it’s okay for him to slap the sh@t out of you for messing with his phone. Gawd since this invention called internet you mofo’s act like y’all can’t perform the simplest thoughts gotta get on here asking us shat you know the answer to.
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Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
If you don’t trust him… LEAVE HIM. You’ll make yourself crazy constantly worrying about what he is up to, who he is talking to etc.
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I’m a firm believer in,opposite sexes,can be friends.However,I am not okay with the fact that hes lied,deleted once you seen it.That gives out so many red flags.You deserve better then this.
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Would you do it? Find someone who matches what you would do.
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Sure if they share the conversation. If they hide or delete it then something is up
Oh no absolutely not
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Why lock your phone if there’s nothing to hide?
That should answer your question.
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Sure sounds like a sneaky link to me
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Speaking from experiences from your POV. No. He either already cheated or hes thinking about it ooorr he doesnt know what he wants so hes playing both sides. Either way… Hes doing something wrong or he wouldnt have deleted it at all… Know your worth and leave while you still have the chance… Youll drive yourself insane if you stay… Bet on it…
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- there’s a lock on the phone
- shits being deleted
= Obviously there is shady shit happening
I’m not being rude so I’m sorry if it comes off that way. These are just my opinions
Ehhhhh, it’s sounds sketchy to me. I’m totally fine with my husband having women friends that I don’t personally know. But I would have an issue with him feeling the need to hide it from me. Like what’s in there that I shouldn’t see? I would definitely address it with him.
Girl. That’s cheating.
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I don’t mind if it’s just for a short period of time but not all night but I’m suss about him not telling you he talks to her
That is a cheater , facts
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This is how my divorce started.
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Nope not okay. My spouse n I have an agreement that after 11 there is no reason to talk to opposite sex unless its family just so we don’t have each other possibly questioning anything and its late at night you are supposevto be spending your nights with your spouse not trying to entertain other people
To be honest if my other half thought that was ok, messaging all hours of the morning and non stop I’d know something was going on, tbh I’d leave or make them leave and see if they fight to have you back
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Having freinds of the opersit sex not a problem talking/snap chat not a problem but to be hiding it and deleting it is suss plus if it was all night long I would probably get abit pissed about it
He has already cheated or he is thinking of cheating
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If there was nothing sexual…I wouldn’t worry
Hell nahh!!! If it were so innocent why delete everything???
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Not issue with talking to opp sex, once deleated history of conversation, then I’d be declaring war or divorce
if they are deleting it because they know it’s not right
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Girl, my ex husband did this and my most recent ex, forget all that! If it makes you uncomfortable then no it’s not okay!
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I don’t mind if my fiancee talks to other women on social media but I would not like for him to be up all night snapchatting with another female at all!!
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Nope. Been there done that and it’s a big fucking no
No. I didn’t read past the first line.
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My ex husband did the same thing, he was cheating on me
- Snapchat is a cheating app let’s be honest
- when they’re with you they should be with you - not messaging others
- deleting or hiding anything is cheating
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The fact he deleted everything is a big fat red flag that he wasn’t just chatting about in common interests, otherwise there would be nothing to hide and delete.
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No.if it’s so innocent why delete it.and not let u read it
Red flag 
definitely the universe giving you all the signals that you need, without even asking you already know, if everything was deleted he definitely didn’t want you to know 
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I have my opinion on that, keeping silent on that…Past experience, they should put the shoe on the other foot would they like it if you befriended a man?
I think if they are deleting stuff then there is something to hide. Definitely not ok
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Would he be ok with you doing that…no.
It’s not ok. Period.
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Not at all. He might not be physically cheating but he’s cheating via internet! I also call this making reservations. What I mean by this is that it’s like making a reservation for an appointment or a trip in advance. He’s making reservations with said person to cheat and is probably looking for an excuse to do so. This is where you need to stand up for yourself DO NOT LET HIM GASLIGHT YOU. It either stops and that means he allows you to have passwords to his social media etc or you’re walking. A relationship has already begun with this other person and she’s just as disrespectful as he is crossing boundaries if she knows about you. I’m sorry that you’re going through this but you deserve better than what he’s giving. Please know your worth!
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If you have to ask then you know that something doesnt feel right… & the fact that they have now been deleted confirms that uneasy feeling you have. Follow your instincts love
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naw sound like they’ are sneaking an if they’ sneaking to chat it feels like cheating… put ya self in others shoes have respect an common courtesy sheesh …
The fact that he’s deleting means he KNOWS he’s doing something wrong. If he wasn’t concerned about being caught he wouldn’t feel like he needed to hide anything.
Mmm I would say it is all completely fine. Until I saw he deleted everything. That is something to be worried about. That’s dishonesty and sneaky.
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Is this y’all’s page too? I keep seeing the same questions posted.
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Hell to the no. Never. Ever. Nope. Nada. Nein.
The deleting part is the issue here…
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it okay for your spouse to talk to the opposite gender all night?
Hell no it’s not ok!
You already know the answer to this or you wouldn’t be asking this question love.
So, so not cool. If there was nothing untoward, there wouldn’t be deleting, sorry.
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Let me make this quick Uuummmm NO
THROW THE WHOLE GUY AWAY.
If it was harmless conversations, they wouldn’t be happening throughout the night, all night and he would have no problem with showing you the conversations nor would he delete them since it’s just harmless conversations.
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My husband work with mostly female and chats with them regarding work issues or other stuff they have in common HOWEVER I know that he does he does it in front of me: he ain’t hiding it and even show it me. And it random not always. We had a discussion in beginning were I told him I don’t care if you talk to them because I know he to talk to them some times but I made it clear that it has to be appropriate conversations and I need to be aware of them no hiding. NOW if he hiding the convo and not telling u who she is and whatever it a big red flag.
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The deleted messages speak volumes. And the fact that there’s a locked phone.
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Hmmm locked phone & deleted messages , I’d be outta there
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If hes deleting things then he knows its not ok
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Obviously cheating
Flirting is cheating!
Talking to someone else behind your partners back is disrespectful af
and if you are having to delete shit, you’re hiding shit.
I consider that cheating
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it okay for your spouse to talk to the opposite gender all night?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it okay for your spouse to talk to the opposite gender all night?
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It’s a no from me. I wouldn’t be comfortable and my other half would definitely consider my feelings xxx
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I have a female friend that I talk to all the time. I’ve been in a healthy relationship for years. Now here comes the part that isn’t right. He felt the need to hide it from you enough that he’s so excited about her he’s staying up all night but doesn’t want to express how he feels to you. He’s hiding how he feels about her. Wether he’s cheating or not if he wasn’t finna tell you about a girl that he’s talking to at all times of the day and night and now that you know he’s deleting the messages. Also if it’s snapchAt have him turn on the 24hr chats if he doesn’t trust that what’s being said in the conversation can be said in front of you should it be happening? I don’t think you should keep letting him get invest with this girl if you guys are serious about each other
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It’s called emotionally cheating! My ex did the same!
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Absolutely not. The only reason I do is if I talk to my wife’s sister. Other then that, negative. It just feels like an excuse to cheat. The other question is why does it have to happen at night
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If you have to be read your partner’s phone without their knowledge, that’s a problem. If you can’t completely trust them, doesn’t matter who their talking to, you shouldn’t be together. You’ve gone from being a partner to a parent.
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If yall love each other work it out and get a understanding on what not too do too make someone think other wise …they should have enough respect not to do that if they care .
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It’s fine??? And they are entitled to their privacy as an individual. If you can’t trust each other, you don’t need to be in a relationship. I said what I said 
Friends of the opposite sex is fine. Deleting everything is not. If a man has female friends, and they are JUST friends, chances are he’ll want you to meet them and strike up a friendship too, just like with his guy mates. If he’s snapchatting and deleting I’d say at the least he’s having an emotional affair. Get rid, you’re worth so much more.
Yea my ex used to do that, and i didn’t like it immediately. When confronted he would say that they are juuuust friends and that she understands him. Less than a month after he left me for her 
Which was the BIGGEST favor he ever did for me 
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I think probably as you wrote that you already know the answer. Don’t let some one tell you they don’t want you twice. That’s what those actions says.
I’m in a long term committed relationship. We have a large friend group and my husband is friends with all the girls, and guys, just as I am. He doesn’t need my permission to talk to them, they are his friends. They might text him to check in or ask him something, invite us to something they have. But it’s not hidden, it’s not locked, they can send me the same messages they send him, they aren’t talking all night long and sending each other person snaps. Any of the guys could message me and it’s the same. I use my husbands phone all the time, and he uses mine.
The fact that you had to check their phone, and you saw everything, and they deleted it, says it all. Even if they are only talking they are clearly building an emotional attachment and I personally consider that cheating. Especially now you’ll be worried and thinking about it every time the phone goes off. Who wants to live like that where you can’t trust your spouse, now you know you can’t count on them to be honest either because they deleted it. Even they know they’re wrong. Sorry you are going through this, but it says nothing about you, and everything about your spouse.
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That’s up to you and your relationship. If you don’t like it and you’ve told him you don’t like, but he still does it, it’s up to you if you take a stand or not.
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Run girl run. There’s nothing wrong with female friends but him deleting everything and being up all night are HUGE red flags. I’m sorry but there’s something not right with what he is doing and I think you know that.
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Sounds like a cheater. It doesn’t have to be physical to be cheating.
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Uh…no. that is suss as fuck! Thats a whole set up for cheating right there… leave their ass and watch how fast they have someone else in their bed. Bet!
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Emotional affairs is cheating completely. Deleting and being secretive is a huge no. If they can’t respect your boundaries then they have put that person at a higher respect position then you
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Cheating isn’t always about doing something physical with someone else. Hiding conversations, in my opinion, is cheating. You’re being cheated on. I don’t know how much you love him or how attached you are, but my advise is, get out and find someone who won’t feel the need to hide things from you. 
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My parents in their 50s, been dating since they were 14, my dad would never even think to or have a need to talk to another woman ever unless it’s a mutual friend they share. They have been happily married 34 years.
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Hell no, it’s okay to have female friends but hiding messages and texting women all through the night isn’t fair on you or right.
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No, especially if they have no pictures or verbage saying he is in a relationship with you on his media. Acting like he is single. Otherwise, talking is fine if they aren’t hiding it.
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