Is it okay for your spouse to talk to the opposite gender all night?

I wouldn’t had been mad or suspicious of anything but deleting everything means your hiding something. Why else would you delete everything it just doesn’t make sense. I know my hubby sometimes gets a random message from an old highschool friend but he tells me about it and has nothing to his and doesn’t delete messages. I would confront him calmly and see if he might just own up to what he’s doing.

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My spouse chats with several other women on Slack who share his hobbies…fountain pens, typewriters, and ham radio. He also tslks to the men there. Doesn’t other me.

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If they have nothing to hide and it is innocent why delete everything ?? Its very wrong If something someone hides from there partner they know they shouldn’t be doing it end of :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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Sounds like some shady shit and I wouldn’t be sticking around to hear what crappy excuse they’ve got.

If it feels off to you, that’s all that matters!

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No absolutely not my ex husband did that to me but it was an ex girlfriend he started to talk to and would leave the room telling her our business it put a huge hole in our marriage caused trust issues your husband doing this is not ok its time to go

No it’s not ok no it’s not alright. Shady as fuck.

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I have guy friends he has female friends if your deleting it your doing something wrong that you’ve communicated about because you know. We have also spoken to one another how we feel if your texting in bed with me I just don’t like it. If your still on your computer downstairs busy I don’t really care.

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nah fuck that shit ain’t got time to waste on waste men! kick him to curb and move on sis.
it’s only gonna get more shittier and hurtful from here.
we are humans we don’t age backwards we age forwards so don’t waste your lifeline on people like this. stay healthy stay strong and stay happy. fuck him right off!

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Sounds like theyre hiding something, which in my opinion constitutes cheating, my partner talks to others all day and night but she never hides any of it from me

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He’s definitely doing something wrong… especially since he deleted everything. If it were really just a friend, why do they only chat late at night while you’re asleep?

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If he’s deleted things it means he’s got something to hide. What he’s doing is cheating and it’s not ok under any circumstances.

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If s/he’s deleted something they’re obviously hiding things, which suggests to me they are already being dishonest with you. It would be ok to have friends of the opposite sex if there was trust in the relationship, which clearly there’s not and s/he knows whatever it is they have said is wrong so deleting it is the only way for you not to see what’s gone on. I have female friends who I talk to daily and my partner talks to male friends. We trust each other. There’s no need to share the conversation with one another but occasionally if something interesting or funny is said we will show one another. Other than that it’s all based on trust.
My advice, s/he’s already half way to cheating; get rid of him/her….you can do better

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If your asking then it sounds to me like you know the answer :woman_shrugging:No one knows what is or isn’t ok within your relationship besides you and him! And if it makes you uncomfortable or upset then it’s not ok! Relationships need to be built on mutual agreements of what 2 people can / can’t do! If your unhappy about it then the boundaries have been broken

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I think everyone has that small element of doubt or worry about this. I don’t think it’s a big thing with the opposite sex. The real thing is why is he constantly talking to someone (male or female) all night? That’s what I’d be worried about.
However its all about context. Is it 4-5 messages over the space of 5 hours? that’s not the same as speaking with them constantly over 5 hours.

My husband who I just read this to has said it’s not ok all of it not ok as not said and if deleted then got some thing to hide if was me I want the snap chat and see who following and message the lot say want um can have um

It’s ok untill it starts to hurt ! Act now because the pain gets unbearable!

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If they deleted everything that’s a tell tale sign there’s more to it than just friendly conversation. I had this with an ex, I didn’t probe or intrude on his privacy he told me he just had female friends and I accepted it until I was using his computer for work and very graphic messages kept popping up from these “friends” if they tell you about it and have no problem sharing that friendship then it’s fine but if they start locking things and deleting messages out of nowhere then that’s suspicious to me

I can pull his conversations and data even deleted if I had his login just saying. I used to just chat with someone who had common interests all night and so did my husband both of the opposite sex we both deleted and we’re both cheating

Talking to the opposite sex sure but talking all hours of the night and deleting messages wouldn’t be, it’s disrespectful and not appropriate

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It be ok if he was open about it and showed the messages but with snap chat it deletes messages straight after you have opened it. Confront him and see his reaction. If he gets affensive about it then that’s when u worry. X

His reaction proves something is going on that shouldn’t be. Confront him on it and beware - it happened to me and ended up with him having an affair of a kind he is ashamed for you to know about.

Smells suss to me… why delete something if you’ve got nothing to hide… not healthy or okay to be going through each other’s phones though- I was in a very toxic relationship with lots of unhealthy habits and would justify why it was okay for him to be going through my phone etc

I was so very lost for years and are so glad to be free of that

The red flag is the deleting. If its just innocent then you should know everything. If he’s hiding things then chances are he has something he doesn’t want you to know and thats not ok

Nope if there just cool then we all cool have her add me so we can talk to eachother to family is a different story or someone u knew before hand but other wise nopeeee

It’s a different kind of cheating… I think most people are uncomfortable with their significant other hanging out with, or messaging anyone they don’t know. Usually doesn’t end well.

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Been there, done that. THEY are happily married now. I’m happy for them but it took me years to get to that point.

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Isn’t your opinion the only thing that counts in all honesty? In the end it’s you who are living with it! That being said, He is your spouse and talking all night to a person of the opposite sex takes away from any emotional investment between the two of you. If he is more inclined to speak to them, then what are you getting from the relationship. I believe you already know where this is going. You just want someone to collaborate what you’re thinking. Maybe, you should be more in touch with how his behavior is making you feel. In the end, you decide what you are or aren’t willing to put up with.

I personally would not be comfy with hubby snap chatting with another female all night … sounds
Fishy :fish: to be … Run while you still have time

Well, the last time I let it happen I ended up being cheated on. Yeah, it was friendly at first before it went downhill…

Yes it okay to talk to whoever you want but if you are deleting things, then that’s the issue.

A plutonic conversation about a mutual interest is ok. Deleting the conversation is clearly hiding something

No. Girl there’s no way you don’t know the answer to this. Talking to other girls all hours of the night then deleting the messages? Come on now sis…

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It doesn’t matter what we think. Your opinion matters most.

Oh if it’s deleted there’s something to hide.
Now, he’s either venting about you to her and he doesn’t want you to see it oooooor. You know the other option.

If it was innocent there would be no need to hide it.

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Not on unless your open and honest about it

Negatory. Only due to the fact they deleted everything

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That’s called cheating. When the other half doesn’t tell you about it.

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If it feels shady, it’s definitely shady. If it makes you uncomfortable, then step back and make yourself happy if he ain’t. Boy bye.

Personally…get yourself online. Start dating. Find your perfect match. Then leave this arrangement because it isnt a relationship! There is no relating/ connecting going on!!

I think you answered your own question…Now it is up to you…do you continue to live with that? or find an honest person.

Ugh honey I have been down that road and wasted 9 years of my life on it. He never changed. I was ruined by the entire thing. I am still damaged from that relationship and what that kind of behaviour; the constant lying and hiding of the phone, fights when I tried to touch it. The gaslighting making me feel crazy when he has since admitted that I was right every single time I had suspected he was cheating on me. It changed everything about how I felt about myself and to answer your question directly, no that is most definitely NOT OK.

If his phone was open to you. It was just him following or watching their snaps or stories maybe. But engaging them in conversation at all hours and hiding it and now deleting it, all serious red flags. You know the truth. This is how it starts. The wearing down of your own trust in even yourself. Don’t let that happen to you.

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Discretion and deletion are major red flags :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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I’d have to agree that’s cheating if they told you about them then it’s fine for me it’s more the fact that they deleted everything after you asked them about it red flags right there

Shit is about to hit the fan!!! It goes on for a while, then SURPRISE , they no longer “ have feelings “ for you anymore.

Time to go. If it was just a friend. There would be nothing to hide or delete.

Only if your part of the conversations. If it’s super open and inclusive of you.

It’s disrespectful to you…obviously you are the only one in a relationship.

Did they delete it all or does it delete after being viewed every 24hrs? As that is a snapchat thing. Cheaters paradise though

So much drama! I love it. Cheaper than a movie and I get free coffee.

If they gotta delete it then it’s emotional cheating

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It’s emotional attachment leads to next step

Hard pass. You’re worth more than that, if not to him - then make damn sure for yourself!!

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If there was nothing to hide they wouldn’t hide it :woman_shrugging:t2: it’s the deleting everything for me

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You don’t go through someone’s phone…even if they “accidentally” leave it unlocked. :unamused:

Ummm no ,as if this is even a question

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This is exactly how I got cheated on :joy:

Yeah nah. If it’s being hidden it’s wrong. Also I wouldn’t like it even if it wasn’t being hidden

No time to move on with your life

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It’s a tough one. If you trust your partner then theres no issue. But if you don’t trust them I’d say the unlocked phone has brought you to a point where you need to have a conversation about your relationship xx x good luck and stay true to yourself x x

Sounds dodgy as hell to me :eyes:

It seemed like a fine situation until they deleted everything. Sit down and talk with them, tell them their behavior is suspicious. Watch how they react. If they deflect and get angry, they’re probably cheating (emotionally or otherwise).

Do you really have to ask that question it’s absolutely not ok I would tell my partner to go take a running jump

That’s dodgy behaviour. Trust your gut

Absolutely not. But then again I have always been super upfront and honest with my husband. And he knows I find out he’s talking to other women. I’ma freak the fudge out on both of them. He knows I have an angry issue. But my husband feels the same way about me talking to other dudes. I just find it so disrespectful.

I wouldn’t call that a wife

Deleting everything is the red flag. So no. It isn’t.

Sounds like you should be talking to the opposite sex too

Been down that road nope not good

Nope, absolutely not!!

How is this even a question.

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Nope. That means they are not comfortable talking to you!!!

It’s totally ok if it’s all done in the open

Nope, definitely boundaries issue.

Sounds like trouble to me.

No not alright.Disrespectful to your spouse.

Are these questions from real people or does this page just make post to get interactions? :woman_shrugging:t2: you really need to ask someone else if this is ok? Hell mf no its not. He probably already cheated, at least has sent some dick pics​:rofl: u might as well pack his shit while hes at work today

You already know the answer to this girl.

No need to be so immature about it.

If you have to delete shit you’re hiding something

No soon you will be talking to a decor expert lawyer.

You put it that way then NO

No that’s called cheating

Its whatever you agree upon.

You already know the answer to this

If you don’t like it get a divorce

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It can start out innocent. But you erase texts u have started the cheat

Ummm. No. Abso-fucking-lutely not. I have no objection to men having female friends……to a point. If he wants to flirt and talk with women all night, let him flirt with, and talk to, you! People don’t hide things if they have nothing to hide. Imagine what you don’t know. I’d be gone.

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If normal innocent talking then yes. Zero reason opposit sex cant be friends as long as it remains neutral

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I know not every situation is the same but I have issues sleeping and there’s been a couple times where I’ve been unable to sleep and snapchatted a buddy of mine all night. My husband doesn’t know him but he knows about him, and what we do is send memes back and forth and play video games together. He also lives in a completely different state though.

Dodge!!! My wife has friends of the opposite sex and she shows me and tells me everything. Nothing hinden. If you not doing anything wrong you won’t need to hide it. Simple. Trust is earned not just given.

Yeah no this is a huge red flag. My husband is always asleep before me an I am either scrolling through fb or I’m watching tiktok videos :woman_shrugging: there is a boundary called respect and messaging someone all hours of the night is disrespectful… hiding it from you… that is a cheat waiting to happen

You decide what you will tolerate. You choose. Is this what you signed up for in a relationship? Is this what your willing to go through for A relationship? You know what to do. Choose

This isn’t just having a friend that’s a girl, this is shady and he’s almost certainly cheating to some extent.

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Rule #1…a man shall NOT do something behind his wife’s back that he wouldn’t do in front of her…hese so busted.

Not trying to assume but he is most likely cheating on you, sorry about that

No. Shouldn’t be talking to someone of the opposite sex at all at night.

Rule #1 in relationships: COMMUNICATION (without accusation)
Rule #2: TRUST

Without either one (or both) of those things, you may as well hang it up bc the relationship is done. Instead of asking internet strangers, communicate with your partner. Also, if in doubt, get out. Doubt means lack of trust. Lack of trust means no relationship. Life’s too short to be left wondering.

I don’t play childish games like that, especially with no grown man who rather be on Snapchat talking to some random then spending quality time with me…NO MAM :no_good_woman:t4:

Absolutely not. Not if things are being deleted.