People are human insecurities need fixed and it isn’t his
If he makes you feel this bad, then leave. You’re not doing yourself a favor in marrying him
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No dont stay. It wont get better with out full difference in him. Walk away asap
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You answered your own question. This is completely a personal choice and you are clearly not comfortable with this so it’s not OK. My personal opinion is that this is disrespectful. Everyone notices people of the opposite sex but the degree to which he is doing it is excessive. 
I think maybe therapy … For you to find out why exactly this is such an issue for you. Everybody looks hell if I see a good looking woman I’ll point her out to my man. He’s not cheating correct ? So this is a you problem try and find out why this effects you so poorly.
You answered your own question.
Your not happy. Why stay ?
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The main thing is that he doesn’t have respect and compassion for your needs. You have asked him to stop and he ignores your need! It will get worse after you marry! My husband never looks at anyone else, and I love him for that! Please respect yourself and find someone kinder!!
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The part that says “then the next week we hate each other” is the biggest reason I see y’all should not be together. It’s one thing to have disagreements but to feel like that you can’t be good for each other. I think the checking people out part is disrespectful. Not that he’s looking in general but that he is doing it so blatantly in front of you. I’m sure there are plenty of people my husband finds attractive. Glancing at someone when I’m not around is one thing. If he is staring at people when I’m with him that’s a problem. The movie thing is less concerning to me. People zone out to movies. It’s also disrespectful to be staring that hard core at people for the people he’s staring at. Gross.
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If you guys are good one week then toxic the next, yeah you should split but as far as checking people out I don’t think that’s an issue However being disrespectful is different. I’m not entirely sure if you find it disrespectful that he’s looking or if it’s because he’s ignoring everything else. To me it would be ignoring everything. But honestly if I were you I would split because of the badness 50% of the time. Then I would take time to work on my own anxiety and other issues. The more confident you are, the more happy you will be in general. Maybe try couples therapy if you feel like these are workable issues but if not just go get yourself to a good place
Break up. He’s not worth it
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If you’re having these issues now then getting married won’t make then go away. If you truly aren’t happy in your life now then it’s time for a change.
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Don’t settle for disrespect.
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I think that we all look and there is nothing wrong with that , but staring at someone and completely ignore your partner is very disrespectful.You say that he had a personality disorder and maybe that’s the reason he can’t help himself about keep doing, I mean , if he was like that from the beginning he Will probably not change , so if you can’t deal with that you should talk to him and suggest him to get some help , or otherwise you should break up if you do not want to have a crappy marriage.
PS : your / mine Partner Checking out other people have nothing to do with our appearance , is something we do naturally, you can be 10/10 abeauty pageant Queen , You can be JLO and they will always lookIf that’s the only thing he’s doing to alarm you and you can’t deal with it then ya split. I check people out with my husband all the time and it literally never goes anywhere beyond admiring a body part. Maybe that’s what he needs maybe he needs someone that’ll look with him and you need someone that doesn’t like to look. Y’all need to have a chat about your deal breakers. Divorce can be expensive and life ruining, just sayin’.
Maybe he isn’t the man for you if that kind of behavior makes you feel disrespected?
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You both sound toxic in different ways. I’d say yes, time to split
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Unfortunately, there do seem to be in this world, men who are obsessed with sex. They seem to think of little else. It seems like every female in their vicinity is a target for a penetrating stare… one that is obviously viewing that person as a piece of meat. Evaluating their sexual worth. And if this person drinks or does drugs, this behavior gets less controlled and I would not like to think where it could lead. If this man is staring at people as though he wonders what they could do for him, then he is not someone you want to spend your life with… definitely not someone you would want to have a child with. Pack and go. Go far, far away. Do not leave a forwarding address. Have nothing further to do with this man.
So can we see a pic of you…
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Get rid of him to many red flags
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Just leave. Not everyone is going agree that it’s disrespectful. I don’t think it is. But the way you describe the relationship as whole is just toxic. Move on, he ain’t the one.
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I just want to point out that no, not EVERYONE looks. I’m in an amazing and healthy relationship and I absolutely have zero desire to check out other dudes. I will point out to my man that ‘she is so pretty’ etc, but he respects me and if your relationship doesn’t have any respect, then why be together? Just because some people don’t have a problem when their SO looks at or lusts over others, doesn’t mean other people like it. Just my 2 cents🤷🏻♀️
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I mean I don’t think it’s a big deal. Everyone looks. Now gawking is another thing. However, you’ve told him it bothers you so now it is disrespectful if he continues to gawk and not even try to acknowledge your feelings. I’m a pretty insecure person but even I’m not offended by my husband noticing an attractive woman 
I mean if it’s just a movie who cares, but if your out in public it’s definitely not something you should do while your significant other is with you. Look all you want when I’m not around, but don’t openly do it in front of me.
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 is this a joke? Are you serious man and I’m not trying to be ugly I’m just really reading hell insecure you are just by the first few words that you stated and you said exactly everything that you are to a T you are insecure and it shows in the first sentence… Don’t be in denial man and sometimes we see things that might be there but we blow it up in our heads because we are insecure and women think nonstop you’ll drive yourself nuts and if you’re not careful let him look who gives a shit it’s not the worst thing in the world seriously because once you start all that extra oh my gosh don’t look at this person don’t look at that person or you get pissed off when he does it’s going to create bigger problems and then you’re really gonna have some issues and it’s going to be not just looking that’s a you problem him you have to fix yourself he can’t fix that for you clearly that comes from within you you’re a very insecure know your worth. And when you do there will be a confidence about you that you don’t even have to speak about it’ll just be a glow and he will notice and I promise you all that looking this shit like that that you’re talking about well be pointed to you try it
You two have different views. Have you had a conversation about it like why he does it or anything. Has this behavior led you to belive that he may or has cheated?
Let him know your concerns in a way that is neutral. At the end of the day he chooses to be with you. But if you think this may be a bigger issue than you think consult a therapist and reflect on that together or if you feel that everything else he has to offer isn’t enough to keep you and his constant looking is enough to break you, then leave.
My thing have always been that my s/o can look, but cannot touch. Hell, I’ll probably check out whoever, too, with him. But again, that’s just me. Everyone’s different. 
That’s up to you… it wouldn’t bother me, but if it bothers you, don’t accept it!
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Maybe he’s not the one for you, if he makes you feel some type of way, maybe yall just need to have a sit down have a conversation stating what’s bothering you an well if he dnt care about how you feel then just then drop him cause I’m sure there is a man out there that will love u an have his attention all for you… good luck sweetheart
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Lawd have mercy
Yes, split… for yourself and him 
I personally will stare at beautiful women and I have NO desire for a woman at all. I would NOT end a relationship because of his staring or gawking. Humans are humans and we ALL, whether or not YOU do it, we ALL have the mental status within us to look, stare, watch ppl in general and than to add on top if one is especially attractive of course our human instinct is to look or stare. We are humans, made to procreate by instinct of the strongest, healthiest in the herd. The less attention YOU bring to this the better. Now, on the other hand, IF he were to EVER act on his voyeurism, I would hands down talk it over and be gone.
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He is doing it excessively like it’s an obsession almost . That is disrespectful to the fullest !
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I would not marry someone who did that. Sounds like his issues need to be worked through, dealt with and treated before you should consider dating him again. I am sorry. This would bother me.
Have you guys considered him going to counseling?
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I mean like the age old saying our parents told us, you can look but you can’t touch
Depends really my ex used to check women out and comment in a way to imply I wasn’t good enough. He was a cheater however. Is he putting you down? It is natural to look check people but if he is pulling your self esteem down with it then that is disrespectful
Everyone has their own “deal breakers”. Weigh the pros and cons of your relationship and decide if this is something you can live with him doing for long term or if it is a deal breaker and you need to go your separate ways and find someone more suitable for you. Things like this are a topic to be discussed before getting too serious. Laying out what you find disrespectful and what you allow lays boundaries and keeps things from getting too complicated or confusing. Clear boundaries are best and communication.
Are you sure he’s not? Zoning out when staring at someone?
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Start pointing out guys to him? Like your friends and ask him what he thinks of some cute guy walking by? Very casually of course?
Are you sure he’s not? Zoning out when staring at someone?
I bet you’re not a 7. Probably a solid 9 being modest. I don’t think I would ever be okay with that honestly, it would bother me and I would be mortified to know what people around me thought of him. A quick glance is a lot different then noticeable, constant searching. It would be an issue and defiantly a deal breaker for me.
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If you gotta ask yourself if your crazy then it’s time to go
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I wouldn’t put up with it, if he didnt stop I’d do it to him and make him feel what you do then maybe he’d understand.
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Men are visually creatures but if he is being disrespectful than end it.
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Humans are going to look at the menu it’s natural. If he is ordering that is a whole different ballgame.
We both look, but we’re both ok with it too. If you have a problem with that he needs to know.
Like I tell my husband if he looked at a pretty woman walking by with me I would have no problem if he’s staring Gawking turning around taking a 2nd 3rd look then yes then yes that is down right disrespectful to the person ur with everyone can appreciate a beautiful person we all look its how u look that can be a problem 4 sure!!
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Definitely not ok, my opinion, especially if its getting out of hand like it sounds, i mean yes you see someone beautiful or good looking you will look for a second and move on but he isn’t doing that and he is straight up ignoring you. I would leave especially since he doesn’t care about your feelings, He doesn’t rerespect you.
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So disrespectful. Not cool.
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Ugh… I’m with you on feeling like it’s disrespectful. I on the other hand tho feel like I am insecure & would love to not feel that way.
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He’s your fiancé why, exactly?
Y’all need to be handling your mental health. I know you aren’t bc you are choosing a toxic, disrespectful relationship over being single.
Move on girl. He needs to be a man that can be relationship material. You need to stop making excuses for bullshyt.
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Idk why there are so many laugh reacts…
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We all know the difference btwn just looking and being disrespectful…I won’t date a person that does this mess
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Although I personally don’t care if my husband check other women out, I do agree that it is disrespectful. Especially if you’re trying to talk to him and he ignores you.
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Unfortunately that is a habit you will never be able to break. It is best for you to cut it off now, because even when y’all do marry, he will still “check people out”. Especially if it bothers you as bad as you’re saying it does.
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My dad always used to tell me, “I’m married I’m not Dead.” And what he meant by that is he was never going to do anything with anyone else but he wasn’t blind and would notice a good looking person. I vibe with that, but not everyone does. If it really drives you nuts that much then you need to leave. It’s not going to change and if you can’t deal with it then it’s time to move on.
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Me and my man check people out together
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Been with my husband 14 years and we both look. Being committed doesn’t mean you’re automatically not attracted to anyone else. Looking is harmless unless of course it is done in a disrespectful way. There are times my husband finds a girl so attractive he will stare and it makes me think of when a man stares at me and gives me the rapey vibe. I definitely tell him when he is coming off that way and how it’s not flattering to us but creepy. But it’s still just looking. Nothing else. Nothing more. I’m always talking about how I’m going to marry Adam Sandler. To my husband. It’s fine. But we’re all different and if that’s how you’re going to feel then I don’t think you should be in a relationship because you will always feel disrespected. Like I said, being committed to one person doesn’t mean everyone else is automatically not attractive anymore. If you feel this is disrespectful then you’re either going to live a very angry sad life or lonely because we all do it. We’re all human
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People check people out, single, in a relationship or married. It’s natural. His ignoring you to do so is disrespectful
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Why are you still in this relationship ?
In the first half of this post, I thought it was a joke 
but I’m not so sure anymore after reading the second half??
I point out pretty women to my man And he knows I look at hot guys.. It’s human nature to look,as long as you don’t act on it,then there’s no problem.
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I be checking out girls with my man so I’m not much help but if your this unhappy I’d leave
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Not crazy. Yeah I understand that Men especially are very visual, so maybe discreetly glancing at a attractive woman is natural, staring is not only disrespectful, but rude. Even can go into the creepy category. If he doesn’t have that kind of common sense, I just wouldn’t want to be with a person like that. It’s kinda simple.
My partner and I have been together 8 years, married for 2 and have checked out other people from the get go. Both women and man, there’s no discrimination. We are both ass people so we are always pointing out butts to each other. But it’s each to their own, some people it’s OK and others it’s not.
I feel that you firstly should not be together unless its 100%. So saying you gave a good week is concerning. Secondly if your both having mental health issues you need to be either understanding and helpful to each other and less making it two separate issues. As far as the sexual insecurity I agree if he isnt touching it’s fine I often point out a hot woman when we are out as I appreciate beauty in all forms. I think you have deeper issues and unless you can address them and stop making excuses it’s a dead end. Sorry to be that person x
I know that I don’t check anyone out and I don’t think my husband does either. I think it depends on the individuals and the relationship. I do think you guys should split though. The relationship seems toxic and you should never stay with anyone who makes you unhappy or makes you feel less than.
I think its disrespectful 
it’s one thing to glance over but to be fully ignored is another thing.
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I would pray and yes he could change but that too is his choice.
I don’t have a problem with them looking. God gave us eyes and He made some downright gorgeous people! I have even been known to point the more attractive ones out to my paramour and have discussions about the person’s hair, eyes, legs, etc that makes them stand out so much.However, when it goes past appreciation and into “zoning out” to the point they forget you’re there because now they’re ogling? Yes. That is too far and very disrespectful.
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Hmmmm…I check it out with hubby first…then ask him if he checked it out…too 
Throw the whole man out. It is not okay.
The first thing I noticed was strippers. Guys stare at strippers and hot women in movies…it’s a fact…that’s why they’re strippers and why they cast women in roles. I’m so unsure if this is a joke or an actual question…
Dress up like the women he checks out dress.
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My husband is very good looking and women stare at him, but he just ignores them.
If he’s so bad and you are so perfect you should probably move on
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I cringed at your self absorbed comment about not being insecure 
this whole post screams out “I’m insecure af”
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You are c3azy if you think you’r partner should have the same urges as you you want to be the only source of “beauty” in the world
Get over yourself, ma’am
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Just do the same thing. I do I’m in a relationship not dead. We have fun with it. I point out women he might find attractive and he points out guys I might find attractive. I no longer have to feel upset and inadequate we both get to look. I do the whole head turn and everything lol. They feel some kind of way when it happens to them.
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I think it’s disrespectful and shows he lacks self control 
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Think it’s time to grow up and take yourself down off the pedestal. Just a thought!
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It’s normal to look. If you want him to change you can’t make him change. Either accept or leave.
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Move on. What you allow will be. Don’t settle for anything less than what you want!
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Get out of this relationship. It’s never a good thing when you describe your relationship as “good” one week and hating each other the next. You deserve better than to be with someone who treats other people as objects for him to ogle after instead of paying attention to you, the woman he supposedly loves enough to marry.
I see fiance here so not married yet🤔 you will have to ask the question to yourself - do you want to deal with this when married? It doesnt look to me like this is a happy relationship. If it feels wrong to you then you deserve better girl. But only you can make that choice🌻good luck
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Definitely disrespectful in my books. But every relationship is different and okay with different things. With that being said, since it’s something you’ve brought up and he knows it bothers you and does nothing to change, then there’s a bigger problem then him looking at other women. He doesn’t respect your feelings and most likely never will.
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Sheesh, should he walk around with his eyes closed? It’s ok to find other people attractive, it’s ok to look. Insecurities are a mf! Super glue his eyes shut, 
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I feel sorry for some of these women commenting. It’s disrespectful as hell to do that in front of you
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Redirecting...
Yup, you’re crazy. Is he supposed to wear blinders?
Everyone looks at people.
What is wrong with admiring other people? You have no idea what he is thinking when he looks at people but you immediately think the worst.
I look at people every day. I am a people watcher. A beautiful man or beautiful woman or child will catch my eye. It means he or she is extraordinary in some way. It doesn’t mean anything else
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Its normal to look at people, however there’s a time and place
Being blatantly obvious about it everytime infront of your partner is very rude.
𝖳𝗋𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍, 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝖨 𝖼𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝖼𝗋𝗈𝗌𝗌 𝖬𝗋s meltichong 𝖨’𝗏𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗎𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖽𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝖺𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗍, 𝖨’𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝖼𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝖽𝗋𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗅, 𝖨 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝖦𝗈𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖬𝗋e Elisha 
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𝖢𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖥𝖺𝖼𝖾𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗄 link 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗆 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝗎𝖾…
Redirecting...
To each their own, but personally I think it is ridiculous to say that someone is not ‘allowed’ to appreciate anyone else’s beauty, for the rest of their life.
And I would rather them do it in front of me, than try and hide something.
Hell, I appreciate people’s beauty every day, man or woman, and would very likely be doing it next to my partner!
Get a grip and come back down to earth.
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Shit imma sit here with so and be like “look at her ass!” No shame nothing. Yes its wrong to fall completely distracted when with you, but everyone EvErYoNe is allowed to look at others. You cannot control that. It is his choice how he handles looking and watching others though. Yall have a very toxic relationship if it’s a “love one week, hate the next” and handling insecurities
Time to get yourself straightened out before you are with someone else
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Sounds like your very insecure and try your best to look good and get upset when something else catches his eye. If you can’t trust him to look and not touch then you really shouldn’t get married, also men are very visual so you want me not to take notice of anyone else that’s going to be very hard
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He is human, people look. And you are insecure and this relationship will never work.
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It’s human nature to look. If I see a hot girl I point her out to my hubby. Who cares, he’s going home with you.
As a people watcher idk how I feel about the situation im always checking people out and watching them. Im not being a creep or thinking about anything sexual. As far as sex scenes in movies go I mean hes a guy of course he’s gonna at least watch that part of the movie lol he’s never gonna be w the women in the movie. Maybe you do have a little insecurity if your mind is automatically going to that frame of mind. Checking people out is harmless. You should worry if he hits on people or actively looks to cheat. Then i would end it. I’ll be honest though your relationship doesn’t sound great if you’re fighting all the time. Maybe you’re just looking for a reason to end things bc you know he’s not really your person. Either way i wish you luck. Relationships can be tough.
It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, if it bothers you, it’s a problem. I recommend counseling but if he’s unwilling, I wouldn’t marry. Cheating is next.
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Everyone has eyes, but it is disrespectful to be doing that in front of you to this extent. I dont know if it’s grounds to split but id certainly assert yourself and what you will and won’t tolerate.
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