NMR but is it possible to fall back in love with someone after falling out of love. I’m not in love with my hubby anymore. I love him yes but I’m no longer IN love and I don’t think it’s possible to fall back in love. I feel like every day he makes dislike him more and I’ve told him this. He says he can’t lose me I’m his everything but he’s not putting any freaking effort to make me love him again. So my question again is it even possible? I really doubt this is going to work I honestly just want to be alone and I’ve stated this as well I’m just stuck and he knows it. I’m making my moves to be gone as soon as I can but unfortunately it’s not an overnight thing and I don’t have a support system to just up and leave I’m thousands of miles away from my family and friends and I DONT want to go back to Florida I refuse so I’m kind of making myself stay longer than I want but I have to. How do you live peacefully withh someone you don’t want to be with
What ever happened to everyone’s wedding vows. I took that stuff to heart 
. For better or worse , sickness n health. Everyone so quick to leave. Does anyone work out issues anymore
It’s not possible for you, because you have already decided to walk. He deserves to be with someone who will be in love with him.
You can’t. You’ve already decided that you’re not going to and you expect him to do all the work. A successful relationship takes to people who put in 100%
Break up with him and leave. He thinks there’s still a chance as long as you’re around. Don’t care if you don’t have anywhere to go, stop stringing this man along bc you’re choosing to leave. Pack your things and let that man move on.
Me and mine have gone through this. Absence gives room to evaluate and explore yourself and how you feel about others.
We separated for a while then discovered that we really loved each other and come back together.
It’s definitely possible. You have to both want that though and be willing to figure out how to make things work.
Instead of thinking of all the things you dislike about him, start focusing on what made originally fall in love with him. Go on date nights as much as possible. Marriages do not work if both people are not putting there all in it.
You have already decided to walk and if you’re heart is set there is no changing it. The thing is Love is a choice you have to Love each other daily, you both deserve to be happy and feel Love.
Seek God he will give you the answers.
I think if you actually loved them before then yes. If you never loved them but thought you did then no
Prayers for you in Jesus mighty name Amene
Let that man go and find his peace as well as a woman that deserves him.
I have felt this way. I think it’s kinda normal to have slumps😂 going on 17 years married and 20 together. I couldn’t tolerate anyone else, and I know they couldn’t handle me!
You make your mind up and go, don’t wait until.it suits you…
Do the things you did in the beginning that made you fall in love with him. Look at him with those eyes and not through the eyes that you are seeing him through now. Try and remember why you loved him in the first place. You are married to him for a reason. Relive the beginning and grow from it.
Love is a choice (a emotion) and you can choose to wake up every morning and love him despite anything he does if you want. Obviously with effort of “dating” each other and him taking time to appreciate you, help you and showing you love makes it easier but it’s still your choice to love him or not. You may care about him but if you’re totally honest with yourself that is all it is care not actually love. If you want to love him then put in the effort to choose love.
Yes it’s possible to stay in love been married 35 years and I still feel butterflies when I see him or hear his voice on the phone 
What is he doing to make you ‘dislike him more every day?’ Are these things you can move past/get over?
Fight for your marriage. It’s not meant to be easy. Be grateful for what he does for you (and kids if you have them). It’s normal to go through ups and downs. Don’t give up! If he’s a good person he’s definitely worth the work that it takes to make a marriage work.
Is their couple counseling? Is their away you and him can just talk? I think honestly If someone puts the effort they can fall back in love with someone. Are you just board in the relationship? Can you spice up the relationship.
Be kind to him and go! Let him find someone who doesn’t “dislike him more” every day. Sort yourself out and make those moves. Go stay in a cheap motel if you have to for a few nights.
Have you guys tried marriage counseling? Yes it is possible to fall back in love with someone but it takes work and patience from both ends too
I have been in your shoes and yes it is possible to fall back in love. Anything is possible if you put the work in that it takes. There are many things I don’t like as in the way my hubby does things but we are all different and bring something different to the table. You must open your mind and be willing to accept their flaws. No one person you find in this life will be all the things you want 
. It’s just life. But you can agree to disagree and still have a loving relationship but it does take effort on both parts.
I have learned the hard way that by being with someone else, you realize a lot of things that your partner actually is and does do. I learned to appreciate them a lot more. Thru my own mistakes I am happy that I made the effort to stick it out thru the difficult times as we are in the best place we have ever been and have been together 20 years. Was it easy? Ummm no but was it worth it? Absolutely and would do it all over again.
Have you ever heard of the five love languages? I would suggest doing some research if you have not and find out what each of your love languages are and start working from there.
It does sound like you have made up your mind already about leaving. So you have to decide what will be very best for you. And then refocus to that.
I wish you nothing but the very best for your future. Sending you positive vibes and prayers that you can figure out what will work best for you 
Loving someone takes effort everyday… if you aren’t willing to put in the effort than ypu have your answer. If you make small changes in your relationship to show your appreciation and love, ypur partner will also… marriage and relationships are so hard, but so rewarding when you put the work in
Be a big girl and move on let him find love
That’s why from age 18 on I always had my own credit.
Pray and see what. God does about it
It’s hard to live with someone you aren’t IN love with. But like you said you love him and if you both are on friendly terms. Then separate but live together for a while. I do think you can fall back in love as long as there aren’t trust issues
Yes, it is possible in general but not necessarily in your situation. If you’ve voiced your dissatisfaction with your partner and they aren’t willing to fix the problem you don’t need their permission to leave.
Loving is a choice. You have to both choose it everyday for it to work. You’ve already given up so there’s probably nothing he can do even if he is actually trying. You either have to give it a chance and let him try to win you over again without already have it set in your mind you’re leaving, or just go and let him move on. It sounds like he wants to work it out so unless it’s an abusive situation, I would think real long and hard before giving up. He’s probably willing to try a lot harder than you’re open to hearing right now and there’s a 90% chance leaving is not going to be as great as you think.
The relationship ship is over and it’s time to move forward, as scary as it is
Change your attitude and really work on it!
Poor guy… 
let him go Jesus christ…
You can I did. He put alot of work into it. It took time it wasn’t over night but we are great now going on 11+ years.
What is he doing to make you not like him?? Is it serious stuff or just petty everyday stuff that could be worked out if both of you tried. Does he give you reasons to not try?
It’s possible to fall back in love but it’s a lot of HARD work for BOTH of you! What you need to ask yourself is if he met all your needs would you want to be with him or would you still want to leave? And it’s going to be on him to want to compromise and change some behaviors to meet your needs as will you! As we grow and mature our needs change and most of the ones couples won’t realize and won’t communicate their new needs or you may have a partner that doesn’t want to meet your new needs! If he made behavior changes and met your needs and you would want to stay then sit down and have a talk with him! Explain what you want from him (be specific) ask if there’s anything he needs from you! COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO MAKING A RELATIONSHIP WORK! And if you would still want to leave if he changed his behavior or if he doesn’t want to change what you need him to then absolutely leave!
Go because it’s not right staying and making him think that there’s a chance to get back or to stay married you are just hurting him more the longer you stay
There’s too much information missing to really form an opinion. What effort is he lacking? Is he leaving all the responsibilities on your plate? Is he just not affectionate enough? I think marriages come with a lot of ups and downs that can at times feel like a lack of love. Have you tried marriage counseling? I would start there.
It’s not possible with your attitude
You need to be open to loving him instead of finding fault
Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind
You have one foot out the door
Be careful
The grass is rarely greener on the other side
MYbr try living apart and starting over. Working g on yourselves separately and your relationship also
You’ve already made your decision so you’re really putting him up to an impossible task.
Hun - Same happened to me & my ex. I fell out of love with him, and eventually slept separately.  I couldn’t fall back into love with him. We stayed together for another year, living the way we did, and was separated for a bit. Towards the end, we got divorced. I love him as a dad and person, but that’s all. We tried to sleep back together again and go out on dates, but it didn’t work.  This is my situation and yours could be different.  Try spending more time together and going out on dates. I will never get married again, lol… good luck 

Have u tried marriage counseling?
Maybe take a few weeks apart see if u miss him?
You have made the decision already to move on. I hope no children are involved, or separate and see how feelings are in time.
It happens don’t feel bad. Do what’s right for you. Everyone has their own thoughts
Noone can make you love them. Do him a favour and leave now. Call family to come help you.
It’s very much possible but sounds like you don’t want to and he’s doesn’t deserve that do walk away and don’t just stay because you have to that’s not fair on anyone
Yes, you need to ask God to rekindle that love again and he will big time. You need to change your direction. The love is still there but it’s hidden because you chose it to be hidden. It’s the way we think of who we are.
What’s NMR mean? And love is a choice. Not something you fall in and out of.
It’s hard and that’s why I chose to rent a room at my sisters because after the choice was made , what was to be a few mths to get on our feet tuned to anger and resentment . We only had one bedroom and bath so it didn’t work. I moved because I had a safe place to go and him not so much , he gets the place and the pets so I am a free woman. I get the dog on weekends lol.
Be happy life is short and years go fast especially when your not happy .
I’m not sure when the population decided that marriage is so very disposable. There are always going to be days where love is not what you’re feeling, before you throw it all away at the very least speak to a counselor or do a couples retreat. Marriage is always going to be work.
Anything is possible but think why did you fall out of love in the first place or has he changed for the better
I feel bad for him but the best thing to do is to leave.
“Hes not putting in effort to make me love him again” and yet, you’re more than willing to just peace out instead of working on it together
I would spend a month apart then see how you feel…if the absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder then the relationship has come to end…good luck sweetheart 
Once you start to look at your partner in disgust or you have one foot out the door during a reconciliation, you might as well forget it. You must both be all in. Just stay strong until you can leave but try not to give him False hope. It makes it worse.
Women 
“he doesn’t make any effort” and “ I can’t just up and leave ”. Sounds like a sahm who doesn’t know how to value a partner or herself
Leave. Let him find someone who truely loves him. You clearly never did, otherwise you would have worked through the issues instead of choosing to leave
Honestly I feel bad for him
I’m in the same boat. I was going to go back to Nashville with my daughter last year, but I got covid and couldn’t. I’m stuck like you are. There is no easy answer. I just don’t have the money to just up and leave
If you real loved the person you would of never fallon out of love in the first place
Just keep the peace, be civil/ polite, but stash money away until you’re able to go. Then go.
Love is a two way street. He may not be courting you anymore, which sucks, but you also have to look inward in situations like these, as well, & see if there’s anything you yourself are no longer doing to nurture the relationship. Maybe one of you has even developed an attraction to someone new, someone unfettered by responsibilities, who makes you feel that new love thrill. If you nurture the weeds in your garden instead of the flowers, the weeds will thrive, & the flowers will wither. Most likely, neither of you are the same people you were when you first fell in love. You’re both older, maybe have let yourselves go a little physically, likely have developed different new interests, maybe you have kids together which make intimacy difficult to achieve, but that’s life. We all grow & evolve. It’s both your jobs to nurture the relationship & put forth effort that makes the love develop. Try. Plan a regular date night, maybe a few nights a month, maybe go on a romantic weekend getaway once every few months. Get to know each other again. Keep it fresh. Find shared interests & do them together. If you truly want it to work, you will make a way, & maybe one day, you will look back on this rough patch & realize that this was just a stepping stone to a stronger, more mature love.
Have “you”, done anything to encourage, strength and uplift your husband? Maybe its “you”, that needs to try!! That might make a difference!! Forgiveness, kindness, love, helping, joy, caring goes two awways! God bless you!! Whatever you do!
Im so sorry everyone seems to be judging you, its sad to see. I guess theyve never been in a one sided relationship before. His lack of effort coulve killed the love you had for him, guess they couldnt consider that to see your side for a second. Pouring and pouring and pouring love into someone who doesnt help fill you back up is taxing enough. Having someone who does hurtful, off putting things, that actually drain you could leave anyone feeling empty. How can someone love someone else when they constantltly leave them empty. He sounds selfish and inconsiderate. Relationships take two and keeping things alive. why should you be the only one bringing bricks to build while hes either sitting around or tearing them down. If hes not being loving, trying to keep the progress going with you, keep the light in it, maybe he should sit in the dark stagnant or destroying on his own. For all these people saying youre using him for money and just leave broke, heck no. Its hard out here with one income, they probably lived off one a couple years ago when the economy wasnt a natural disaster or theyve been living off two so long they forgot what not having furniture is like. He seems to not pull his weight emotionally, energetically or spiritually so the least he can do is be an equal financially so you can save a little to leave. Play the long game and set yourself up for what you deserve, mutual, equal, fluid, lasting love. Relationships go through hell but if someone doesnt try even a little to help get you both out,even allow you to help to get you both out of that hole is dead weight. Get yourself out, you deserve that. Sending you strength, clarity and inner peace.
I dont think it’s possible to fall back in love after you’ve fallen out. I’ve tried too many times
Now we’re both miserable, and he’s dying and he has no place to go, so I stay to care for him, its horrible, leave now while you can.
What I’m reading is you believe it’s only he that has changed at all and it’s only he that needs to put in any work.
Have you guys tried date nights? I think those are important
You’ve already made the decision to leave and you’re only staying because things are easier on YOU that way. That’s not fair to him. He deserves to be with someone who can love him for who he is and not used for the stability he provides that makes your life easier. It sounds like you plan on using the next few months to milk him for the last little bit that you can get out of him before you leave and that is really messed up.
It can be done. But you have already decided you don’t want to do it. So if you don’t want it to work, it won’t.
Have you tried talking with him ?? Tell him !! Let him know he’s in danger of losing you. If he doesn’t want to fix it, let him know how expensive divorce is.
You already know your own answer. You said you don’t believe it’s possible so it won’t be.
Also nobody can “make you” fall in love or back in love. Love is a choice. You have to choose to love that person. And considering you married him, you CHOSE to love him. Not just to love him on the easy days or when it’s convenient. And the fact you’ve told him you dislike him more every day and what not and he still tells you are his everything…you seem to be the issue in your marriage. I hope he finds somebody better for him. That’s good for his heart, his growth, his life. Because you are not it. It sounds like nothing will make you happy at this point. And you wonder why he doesn’t put in effort. I doubt anything he does will be good enough for you.
I feel the same way 100%. Screw these comments saying your wrong and using him. In my case it’s his fault I feel how I do. He talks to me like shit, is lazy and puts in the least amount of effort for everything. Loves me so much but makes no effort to change his behavior when I tell him the way he’s acting is making me completely resent him. I also can’t just up and go and because of that he acts even worse while still wondering why I can’t stand to be around him.
You’ve answered your own question
Does he mistreat you…?
What that book called they say to do?? Ugh I can’t remember some kind of love book thats suppose to help.
Yes me and my husband fall in and out of love on a weekly base just who pissed the other one off the quickest but we always have tine for eachother
I think if you know you won’t fall back in love with him then it’s wrong for you to stay just because you have to. This is no longer the world we live in. Women have every opportunity to make it alone. It’s a struggle yes but you’re deciding to leave your marriage. The person you committed to. It doesn’t sound like there’s abuse or any real reason you’re not in love anymore. So to stay is just wrong. What have the 2 of you done together to fix your marriage? Start there and build from it. I’m really saying this from the heart. I just left my marriage in December. I had no choice. Now I’m alone with my 5 year old in a foreign country. Make your decisions.
Do yourself a favor and leave. You’re only staying because you have nowhere to go. You’re using him so you have a home. It’s not fair.
Why would you tell your husband you dislike him and stay? Don’t you think this may be a barrier toward his success in change? Please seek a counselor to express your feelings in whole and process what’s best for both of you.
Once you’ve been intimate and married there is no “friendzone”, he’s either your husband or your ex, you can be friendly toward an ex but your marriage status is up to you
You really have to decide what you really want. There are a lot of questions you need to resolve for yourself. How old are you, how many years do you have invested in the relationship, do either of you have physical issues that would make living alone a problem, do you have children together, where would you go if you leave, can you financially alone, can he, these are all critical issues that make hasty actions really foolish. Think long and hard before you act. Once you make a move that impacts. A lit of lives, you cannot undo it.
I am 73. I have been married to the same man for 27 years, together for 29. I love my husband, but I am not really madly crazy in love. That is OK with me. We still have a good relationship, still enjoy each other’s company, still make each other laugh. I have no desire to live alone, nor ever be with anyone else. My husband is a kind person. I have been married three times and my others were mean, cruel, and abusive.
Please consider your actions. Have you REALLY talked to your husband, sought counseling, tried to resolve your issues. The grass is seldom greener on the other side of the fence. Is it possible to fall in love with a person again, yes, anything is possible. But it takes time, effort, and work. Love is a choice. You decide to love someone. You have to get up each day and choose again. It is harder some days than others. Rash actions can result in devastating consequences.
Nope. File the papers. He’s not putting in any effort.
“How do you live peacefully with someone you don’t want to be with”?
There is a good answer to your question, but first a few things to clear up. And I’m assuming there is no abuse or danger to you in all this, based on what you wrote.
First: He is putting in effort. A lot of it. He’s told you he loves you and is still supporting you, despite you telling him that you don’t love him and want out. Now, he’s not putting in the extra “freaking effort” because you have threatened him where he is extremely vulnerable…and he has to spend that effort to protect himself so he can 1) still make the choice to love you, and 2) produce the resources required to support you—even though you have stated repeatedly that you have no interest or intention of doing the same for him.
Second: as noted, love is a choice. That feeling of being “in love” is just that, a feeling. It isn’t love, and frankly you might not ever get it back. You certainly won’t with the decisions you’ve made so far. Even if you do, it won’t feel the same, because the anxiety behind the feeling will be different. You can’t possibly be anxious over “does this guy love me” when you know he loves you. Sure, the anxious “in love” feelings are fun, but they are not love. And this change will happen with everyone you will ever love. It’s not the guy’s fault. It’s not even your fault. It simply is. Night turns to day. Nothing you can do about that.
So back to the question, essentially what do you do now?
Two options.
First, cut your losses, and his, and file for divorce. Be alone. Negotiate a settlement and get the heck out of Dodge fast. If this is your choice of options, waiting will not make it better, and you will end up in a financial place even worse than you are now…if not a worse physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual place. Same for him. Swallow your pride, get a bus ticket back to Florida or wherever your friends and family are, and start rebuilding your life as soon as possible. Treasure the life lessons you learned and vow to do better next time.
Or, decide to love your husband and stay with him, regardless of how you feel, knowing you will fall back in love with him. Yeah, I know, I said it wasn’t possible. And it’s not possible to fall in love and have those feelings you felt before. But if you stay with him, invest in the relationship, make that decision to love him every day, do what you can for him because you actually love him and not because you feel “in love” with him…you’ll find a new type of being in love. It’s kinda like a runners high, those endorphins that flow after the body’s been punished for running after a while. Something will trigger it unexpectedly, but it will happen. Could be he brings you your favorite flowers, or does something nice for your family, or maybe something totally unimaginable like you see him in pain at the hospital…life is weird like that. But more to the point, you will be happier with staying with your choice. It will take a while. And it will be work, if you work at it. And he won’t do any more than what he’s currently doing for a while, as he will need to learn that he is safe with you and that he can trust you (neither of which he can do at present, but as noted, he’s still choosing to love and support you, and that isn’t nothing…if it was you would already be heading back to Florida).
Regardless, your feelings will not help you here. You must make a choice. Choose to be alone, or choose to love your husband. Choose well, choose quickly, and act decisively.
Well after divorcing my husband in 1989 . He remained part of the family. Went to my family functions etc . Flew to Florida with my siblings for my daughters weddings. Fast forward family moved here he would spend the winter at my sisters house . My husband died in 2019. I needed hip replacement surgery. So I asked my ex if he would stay at my home. Watch my critters while in hospital and stay with me a few weeks . Well he got Covid locked down with me . Stayed 6 months. Before he left to go back. He said honey can I come back and stay with you next winter. It just feels so comfortable and homey to me with you. I felt the same way . He is going to move down permanently. He loves my granddaughter he is her Papa . So the answer is yes you can regain lost love . My ex and I were in a different place in our life when we split up . Granted we do not share a bed . But we share our life together.
Love is a choice. Society has to stop saying in love. Marriage is hard and it’s not always going to be romance and sunshine. Many times it’s going to be grit, grime, haeartaches, but you choose to stay in those times as that’s what truly builds a life together. Do you think that you are always mrs perfect and always look your hottest and always give him everything thing he needs? Get off your high horse thinking he has to somehow fulfil your every whim. Start out remembering the things you love about him. Then appreciate those things. Make a list of all the sweet things he does for you. Then appreciate them. Then look at yourself and figure out if you deserve to be his everything.
Get the hell out of his life and stop living off him! You are an adult not his kid!!!
I’ve been married 18years,him and I both were married once before.a successful marriage is about 2 people who refuse to give up on one another.if yommit to giving it the passion and 100 percent that you did in the beginning I’d almost promise you it will be reciprocated.at times I’ve wanted to kill mine and I am far from the easiest person to love eather.
So much for better or worse
You’re the problem too piss or get off the pot. If he us not good enough to be “IN” love with why the fuck is he good enough to ve your “support network.”
I think it’s possible to fall back in love. Marriage has many seasons, and there are times when love seems to be lost. It takes work and dedication.
However, without effort from both parties it is useless. You’ll only create more contempt trying to make someone do something. If he truly loves you and doesn’t want to lose you, he’d make an effort. You also would need to make the same or more effort.
Do yourself and him a favor and just leave.
Love is a choice and it’s hard work
Honestly, with you making him do all the work no. We don’t have context of why you don’t and what changed but I bet if you look at it you’ll see that it takes two people to make a relationship.
I think you need to look.at why you’ve fallen out of love and see if it’s fixable. If there’s things he’s doing that are disrespectful or annoying and you’re asking him to make changes and he’s not then he’s showing you with his actions where as if hes trying then.yes definitely x
I think its totally normal to have good and bad patches. Try dating each other and having fun again, retain and remind yourselves why you fell.in love xx
Marriage is hard work. It takes two people who want the marriage to work out to make it work. If you feel he isn’t doing anything to make it work with you then even if he does do it in your face, you won’t see it. Your mind is already made up. Both of you deserve happiness, to be loved, to feel wanted, to feel safe and at home, with peace. Both of you! We all need space and marriage doesn’t give anyone much wiggle room. If you are sure you want to end it, don’t cheat on him or do things slowly behind his back to move out. That’s called back stabbing. You can’t take that stuff back once you do it. You can be a strong mature woman and tell him this is what you want and you are going to start doing it. Honesty is the best approach because it gives him a chance as well to work on him, reflect, and understand he needs to change if he wants something with you. Good luck
I live with my ex husband , cant get re housed , it’s a nightmare ,I feel for yu ,its hard,I just go out all the time cus at 65 it ain’t easy ,wish I’d left yrs ago
No. Unless they’re willing to meet you halfway in the relationship - you have zero reason to stay.
They chose themselves over you.
It’s ok to walk away.
Love is a choice. Sounds like you have made yours.
Possible…yes…for you…no cuz you have already made your choice
I do believe you have already made your decision:walking_woman:
