Is it rude to speak another language when a non-speaker is present? My boyfriend speaks Portuguese as his second language and I speak English only. When I’m in his company, he speaks Portuguese with his friends. It irritates me so much and he knows it. He thinks there is no problem with it. He gets mad if I ask him what he was saying. I think it’s definitely rude. Obviously, it’s something about me or something he doesn’t want me to hear. I spoken to him about it several times and he continues to do it. How would you feel if you were me?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it rude to speak another language with someone who doesn't understand present?
Considering he has repeatedly ignored your request to not do it, it’s very rude and very disrespectful.
I don’t think it’s rude to speak in a different language if that’s what he’s most comfortable with. But it is rude to not fill you in on the conversation. Also if he continued to do it, I wouldn’t hang out with him and his friends anymore don’t hang with people who make you feel shitty, life’s to short
Yes that’s very rude
yes i think its rude
Set your phone to translate:) but yeah super rude
My sister’s ex was just like this!!
Drove her crazi to the point she left
It’s ignorant it is rude !
I would say if you feel like he’s speaking about you or something you find inappropriate then that’s a you problem and just leave.
Maybe he speaks it because he feels comfortable and I think it’s ok but for u who only speaks English I feel like u feel privileged as to only speak English when ur around. So no it’s not rude as long as he lets u know and it’s ain’t always about you. Let them speak if they want to. And stfu!!!
The fact he gets mad at you for wanting to be in the conversation is very weird. He should want to teach you words and you should be asking to learn. I find it tacky a bit.
Use Google Translate next time!
Learn Portuguese without him knowing and start listening in, if it’s about you you’ll know. Plus if it is and you call him out on it in Portuguese the look on his face will be priceless.
I would learn Portuguese with out them knowing and when you hear them talking shit or whatever , SURPRISE!
Im going to say if you are involved with some one who speaks another language and you do not well if you plan on staying with that person then maybe learn some of the language i think
Yeah , that dont sound right . Unless those ppl dont speak english?
No. My step mom & my siblings speak in German, especially when their mad. Ask him to teach you
Put on google translate. My in-laws do this and it hurts my feelings especially when I can make out some of the words and it’s about me. I get it because they want to stay up on the language but if you have voiced your feelings then he should take it into consideration or yea he’s kind of a jerk.
It’s a bit tacky in my opinion but I say learn the language to be included
My husband family first language is Mexican
It would be easier for everyone of I learned Spanish. But never have. They are not talking about you
Get over it
Secretly start learning the language and once you hear some shit they are saying about you, reply in Portuguese and leave.
Learn the language. Or Google translate. But asking someone to stop speaking a certain language cause you can’t is rude
He should be helping you understand not getting angry . Find another boyfriend with more respect and manners .
I would say it’s rude if it’s a second language and not the language he speaks primarily. My husband is from India and I’m not upset when he speaks to his friends in their native language, but they do try to speak as much English as possible because they don’t want to seem rude, so seeing as your boyfriend isn’t doing that, I would consider it rude.
Use Google translate and see what he is saying if you’re really curious. I mean you can do that, and know exactly what they are saying.
Well you get get a recorder translater. Put it in your purse. Make a comment ever now and then and blow him away
I’d get goggle translate and listen in on convo and see what the big deal is about not translating.
I’d find a new man who doesn’t disrespect me right in my face that’s just me tho.
Ask him to teach you and if he refuses then start learning the language yourself!
It’s rude that he won’t translate for you, when you’re literally right there.
Id learn Portuguese in secret and not tell him so you can find out what he’s saying for yourself.
I think it is. like he is intentionally not involving you. and most likely talking about you
I think you can get an app that will translate for you. (: Screw them for ignoring how you feel. Get the app and you’ll find out lol
Learn to speak Portuguese
No! I speak Bosnian with my parents and my husband has never complained or said anything.
Sounds like ya need to learn Portuguese.
You can learn Portuguese and solve the issue. I always speak Portuguese to my children regardless of who is around us because that is the only way they will be able to learn. If that is rude, so be it.
Use Google translate when he’s speaking. It’ll tell you what he’s saying. Catch him in the act.
I would tell him to stop disrespecting me or gtfo
Emm dump that disrespectful piece of work. Yeah it’s so rude
Yeah that’s seriously disrespectful. Probably talking shit right to your face and you don’t even notice it.
Learn his language.
It’s a good reason to learn another language
I’m in the same boat. My fiancé is French and English I only speak English ( I can understand some French ) I honestly don’t mind too much because he grew up that way and that’s his family and friends way of taking, I don’t like asking them to speak in English just for me, I suck it up and understand what I can lol
If it bothers you so badly. The simple fix. Learn the language. Much peace and love ☆
Um No learn the language
It’s his first language… I don’t think it’s rude . I feel like you have options, you can learn his language, or get a new boyfriend
I’d think he’s not that interested in me and split
I don’t think it’s rude
Yes. It’s extremely rude, unless they don’t know English. Would he like it if you and your friends spoke in a language he didn’t understand?
If you see a future with him, I would suggest learning Portuguese too just to be included
It’s definitely normal for him to speak the language his friends speak but he also should have no problem translating for you if you want to be included.
You think you’re that important in the friend group that they do nothing but sit & talk about you? please. How about u learn it instead of trying to stop him from speaking his native language.
Tell me you’re a Karen without saying your a Karen
If you don’t speak a lick of Portuguese then why is it oBvIoUs it’s about you or something he doesn’t want you to hear… he could be talking about how he had explosive diarrhea at work last week for all you know. I think the true issue here is your insecurity— not him speaking Portuguese
Girl step your game up and learn his language therefore there won’t be a barrier there and if you learn it without him knowing you know exactly what they’re saying and you won’t be left wondering. ￼
Learn the language! Ask him to teach you…
If that’s his first language he’s probably happy to be with friends who speak his language. Don’t take it personally.
It’s very rude. Most people who slide into another language in front of others will switch back to English and explain what was said. Dump him
Does his friends speak and understand english? If so then yes he should speak english. If not and its easier for his friends than maybe you should learn Portuguese.
You can download the app on your phone and it will tell you what is said
My husband’s first language is Spanish, his family only speak Spanish generally with eachother. But when I’m around, they will speak English, or one of them sorta translates to me. I’ve been around it long enough that I understand alot, but can’t speak it too well. If it concerns you, learn the language. And if they were talking about you, you would catch on pretty quick
Record and then play it back into google lol
If you’re serious about this relationship, I would learn Portuguese privately lol.
Can the friends speak English well? If not, then it’s just easier for him and them! If so, use Google translate lol
Well learn the language. My wife speaks Spanish. I dont care if she speaks Spanish with her friends. Means I don’t have to talk or listen.
If his friends speak English . I think he should speak English.
No. Speaking Portuguese with his friends likely helps him feel connected with his culture. Probably has nothing to do with you. Learn a few phrases and jump in the conversation.
Learn the language, that’s on you! His language is who he is and your telling him to stop
Do they not speak English?
Learn the language yourself? Or date someone that only speaks English
Be proactive, learn Portuguese.
Don’t make yourself into the victim.
There is no problem with it. Get out of your feelings
Get google live transcribe on your phone and set it to Portuguese to English. Whenever they speak Portuguese it will translate to English and will do the same vice versa. problem solved
Yes its rude. And for everyone saying time to learn another language. Very much easier said than done🤷♀️
I think you trippin. If they’re comfortable speaking Portuguese, let them. Learn Portuguese and speak with them.
Its not rude My mom speaks in dialect it would be rude to tell someone to stop talking in their native language
If it bothers you so much and if you love them the very least you can do is learn his language!
It’s not his fault you don’t know Portuguese
My ex always spoke French. I tried to learn and I just couldn’t but he could care less if I understood him. Zero respect when his whole family speaks great english
Turn Google translate on lol
Doesn’t bother me if and when my man’s family or friends are together and talking in their language I usually just sit by or go do something for else. I’ve also paid attention enough to understand quit a bit. If my man doesn’t have a chance to ever use his language then he gets bad at speaking it because he’s always using English. He comes from another country and needs to use his language there so he need to use it in his every day life.
Learn a little Portuguese! My husband’s second language is Portuguese, once you learn a few key words, it’s easy to put together what they’re saying lol. Mind you, my husband will translate for me if I don’t understand
Learn the language.
My friend and her husband go back n forth all time. Sometimes it’s easier for them to talk in their native language, especially when they don’t know the English for it.
I don’t find it rude … I speak to my kids and husband in Portuguese doesn’t matter who’s around … my mother speaks to me in Italian no matter who’s around … I speak Portuguese w family … I speak Spanish to those who speak Spanish … could be that I was brought up where everyone’s speaking something that to me it’s like normal … but if someone is speaking a language in front of me I don’t understand still doesn’t bother me …
Ur flipping crazy. I don’t speak Spanish and everyone around me speak Spanish including my own kids:woman_facepalming:t4: it’s not rude
I think it’s rude. I once knew some Hispanic people, They all could speak English every well. But if i was hanging out with them they would only speak Spanish. And they would laugh, carry on. and i found out later they was talking about me the whole time.
Like I need to learn Portuguese
Doesn’t sound like your boyfriend even wants you to learn the language… he’s mad to include you ? That’s pretty rude. He can involve you and teach you if he is planning on sharing his life with you then why not have you learn the language. If he cant be bothered to … then I’d say he can’t be bothered to be a husband either honestly.
it’s not rude at all lmao.
learn some portuguese or mind your business imo
Try learning the language a few classes wouldn’t hurt.
If you did not like how come you got with to start
My parter is from iran he speaks that with his family i dont mind at all he tells me what they say i dont ask tho as it prob wont intetest me what they are saying lol
No its not rude for someone to speak their native language. Maybe you should try to learn.
On purpose, yes very rude
Yes it’s rude, I dealt with that at work for years. People would be speaking English and then switch to Spanish when I walked in.
Does his friend speak English
I’m Portuguese and I find it rude, if I need to speak Portuguese I will move away from people who cannot understand the language. I think it’s rude and unnecessary.
Get your translator out on your phone when he does it or go to another room
Learn to speak Portuguese? It maybe easier for you to speak English, but maybe not the people around him. If you can’t trust your man to not talk crap about you, then leave him. I’d be so interested to learn more about his second language and his heritage, especially if you plan on marrying and having children together. That’s a lot of times how they keep up their language skills or they’d forget thinga
Why be with someone who doesn’t care about your feelings? ‘Oh that bothers you? So?’ Why live with that for the rest of your life?
Start to secretly learn the language. Then when you find out what he’s saying make your move. Very simple.
And if his friends doesn’t know English, how he’s gonna communicate with them?
I highly doubt he’s talking about you lol but yea learn it.
It drives me crazy
At the nail place