Is he depressed and unable to work? Maybe no self confidence?
Set limits and make him find a part time job and continue on from there…give him ultimatum…if he loves you…he will get up and get a job…
Truthfully, if this has been his way of life for the duration of your relationship he’s not likely to change. Go back to school and train yourself in a field that will allow you and your children a decent way of life and drop the deadbeat. Your kids deserve better but you have to WORK on getting to a better place.
It won’t get better. He won’t grow up. Get going, be an adult for your kids, and quit expecting everyone else to provide for you.
Why work, you’re a perfect enabler for this child. And if you break away from him this child will find another mother figure. Open your eyes and find yourself a real man.
Why should he do anything ? You’re willing to let your children have less by supporting him ??? You and your children deserve better ! And NO he won’t change
Sorry but he will not step up if he hasn’t already. Decide what you want to put up with and go from there. I for one would not have a guy around who did it work. I would have no respect for him .
You answered your own question when you said you feel you and your kids deserve better. Before you do make a decision have a serious talk, tell him to step up or you will leave, and give him a time limit, and within that time he doesn’t step up he can kick rocks.
Girl bye. You had a second child when he wasn’t providing for the first one 
and then you don’t know what to do because your kids now live a life of struggle. Clearly he isn’t going to change if 2 kids to feed doesn’t motivate him. So get yourself together and provide a steady life for u and them on your own since he isn’t contributing anyways. Volunteering doesn’t feed kids girl
Do what you want but know this - you’re an enabler - you have allowed him to be what he is. He’s NOT going to change. Take care of your children and yourself it’s not your JOB to take care of him. Both need to grow up!
I have waited for 36 years for things to get better. They won’t. It’s a painful thing to realize that I should have demanded changes from my husband many years ago. It’s too late now and my life won’t get better unless one of us dies.
It is a mans job to provide for his children and his family.
U have been with him 4 years and yr just now asking that question…plus u have 2 kids with a man not working…I would never had kids with a lazy ass bum.now if he’s disabled that’s different but lazy id leave his ass…both parents now days have to work to even stay above water…but u made that choice to live with him kinda late to ask that question
Sorry sister. You need to send him on his way because he’ll be this way forever. What makes you think he’ll ever change? Leopards don’t change their spots and past behavior is very indicative of future behavior!
You can’t change them. They have to want to change. Not usually going to happen. Leave.
It doesn’t get better. Don’t put yourself through that. I been there for ten years,and wouldn’t do that again,ever.
You already know the answer it’s just taking the next step walking away and bettering yourself that’s the hardest thing it’s a scary thing to take that next step but if you don’t you’ll be stuck
Get out it won’t change, I there and done that. I did better on my own with my kids.
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I just wonder how you make it if no one is working.
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If you are reaching out for advice it’s time to move on . You created that persons work ethics! He doesn’t have any .
4 years??? Ummm, no! He won’t grow up. This is who he is. A lazy entitled man baby. You’d be better off alone. Are you willing to wait another 4, 7, or 10 years for him to change and grow up??
You’ve already made that first step by asking what you should do on public forum. You’ve also answered your own question, so leave and don’t look back. Your love for him will fade as you repair your life and start over.
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Its simple, if he won’t work outside the home, then he works inside the home so you can work outside the home.
Not going to get any better,if he cared he would work and help provide.Not much of a man to mooch off a woman.
Is he a stay at home dad that takes care of the house and kids? Or is he a bum that doesn’t help while you work AND do all of those things?
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get a job, move out, and take care of your kids.
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Get out now. Provide for yourself. A relationship is mutual respect. Why can’t he work? You deserve better
Why would he grow up? He has done well for himself so far without working . What’s to motivate him to do it ? He Obviously doesn’t mind not having money or providing for you and the kids .
If I have it right , he has never had a job and u hardly work? I’m sorry but I can’t blame him for something your allowing him to do.
It usually doesnt get any better. If you don’t put him out of your life now you will regret it when you are old!!
You can love a person with all your heart 
and all you do is fight about financially over and over and he said I will look for a job and never does it’s time to go different ways. Even if you guys been together for 4yrs and love each other.
Run… love isn’t enough and if hasn’t figured stuff out by now… he won’t
The MAN suppose to support family! Should have been gone 3 1/2 yes! Sorry! Get rid of him!
My dear girl…You already have two children to take care of…
Why on God’s Earth would you want Another womans Child…He hasn’t grown up yet and isn’t likely to Anytime Soon.
He won’t! He has gotten away with this behavior do thinks it’s acceptable. Lite a fire under that butt, tell him shape up or ship out!!
Stop kidding yourself, he has no reason to change, you’ve given him multiple and they don’t seem to matter. How are you supporting yourself and children?
He didn’t have one in the beginning. What did you expect.
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He is scarfing off of you for free. A man has to work for his own living. Time for him to get a full time job or leave.
If he doesn’t care enough about you to provide for you, then kick that ass to the curb!! Nobody deserve a to be treated like second class citizen!!!
You deserve better you deserve to be happy you deserve not to worry about him when it sounds as if he doesn’t worry about you or your children
If you are asking this question in your heart you know the answer
Not having another mouth to feed cloth and purchase whatever he wants and clean up after and worry about is a huge burden that can be lifted off your shoulders
If this man a father of two was going to grow up he would have by now
This will not be as hard as you might think you have been doing it by yourself all along
Emotional it will be hard at first give it a couple of months he’s been like a teenager never knowing what will happen next but you will soon be able to breath and not worry what is or could happen
You are stronger than you think
Smarter than you know
You are a woman and a mother
Best of luck on what ever you choose
Would try therapy first, thier is so much that could have happened in that 4 yrs that we don’t know about… sounds like both need to change!
You can’t CHANGE anyone!! He is what he is. But YOU can change your situation for you and your kids if YOU decide you all deserve better! He is NOT going to change!!
I would say he’s happy just like it is, and if you stay, get used to working more.
Both of you need to get off your ass and get a job. I’m sure my taxes are paying for you to sit there and complain m. Sounds to me like you deserve each other. First, you need to learn the meaning “myself” and when to use it
You love him but he obviously doesn’t love you. Pack your bags, take your kids and leave
I’m sorry but no man who say’s loves you will set back and watch y’all struggle. Run away before you’re stuck with more children you’re basically rasing him also.
Sometimes the best things to do is to let go!! Yes it will be hard. But think of it this way. Children deserve a persons that they can rely on finically and to be a prime example!
And it take 2 to raise them. But what it sounds like your raising 3 children!
It is Time for him to grow up!
You both need to grow up and provide for your children. You are just as guilty as he is.
If he hasn’t found a job in 4 years, he has no intention of contributing. DUMP HIM!!!
Move on ,girl he is not gonna change as long as he has a free ride why would he,you need to grow up and take responsability for you and your kids,your life can get better if you try just dont sit around wishing and hoping get up off your butt and do something
If they act this way only 4 years into the relationship GET OUT, he is just lazy and doesn’t want any better for his children or you !!
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Dou fully he will change. Time to decide if you want to spend your life struggling because he is too lazy to work and be a good husband and dad. You can get a job and be a great Mom…on your own.
If he didn’t have a job for 4 years say goodbye sounds like you are raising 3 children
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Girlfriend ask yourself why would he change? He has shown you who he is for the last four years BELIEVE HIM!!
If he didnt have a job when you married him then why did you marry him ,just wondering ,
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Both need to work to support your kids. Get off your asses. If I have to work then everyone needs to work!! I hope you aren’t getting money from the government!!
There is nothing anyone can say or do for you to leave him. Everyone of these comments are ment to give you support but until you finally had enough and you make up your mind nothing will change. I have been giving people advice, I have helped them move and find jobs and they go back until they have finally had enough. One day your kids will look at you and you will see it in their eyes that they deserve better and you will finally make up your mind.
No it won’t. Why should he work when you are providing for all of them. I would leave there is no profit in this situation.
He’s not going to…!!!
You both need to get your acts together…
Get jobs,pay your bills,provide for your kids
4 years in and you tolerating him not adding anything to the home is on you
Does he cook ,clean ,care for the kids? Probably not!!
You need to work while your kids are in school and move him out
You need to get out now, though it may be too late…your partner may be able to get alimony from YOU! I’ve seen that happen.
He is what he is. He has found a mama that will work and support him. Why should he change?
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Why pay for the cow when the milk is free?
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Sounds like you need to kick him to the curb darling. He needs to sit there on the curb and think about what he has lost because of his ignorance.
Nope doesn’t change. Time to go it on your own. Speaking from experience.
He is what he is people don’t change unless there circumstances force them too, he’s grown accustomed to it, time to pull the rug out and cut the apron strings, or this will continue I promise you that.
Why buy the cow when the milk is free? He is milking you as then he doesnt have to work…if he watched the kids, cooked and cleaned then it might be worth it but girl, he never has grown up to realize he needs to get a job and support you and the kids. Do you want to be raising a 60 year old kid one day? Or is he a dependant on your taxes, food share, medical,??? Time for you to grow a spine and tell him the cow is dry!!
If he hasn’t had to work for the last four years why would he now when he can count on you
It won’t get better, he wants someone to support him… Stop letting him be a leach
What is it about him that you love? He’s not a responsible man or adult. How can you be proud of him? Run, girl. You deserve better.
he needs to be doing ALL the housework, cooking and taking care of the kids or get out!!!
You made babies with him now you want to tear apart the family you guys made? Maybe he needs to help morec but you choose to make a family with him.
Yea he will grow up one day. He might even be still with you when he does. Just dont be discouraged if he “grows up” during his next relationship
Who’s paying the rent, groceries, utilities and healthcare? That’s my question. Obviously you need to get rid of him!!! But are you on the taxpayers livelihood program?
Baby hasn’t if he hasn’t worked in the past will not work in the future you will be paying for his lazy but for the rest of your life or his life get out like an with your kids
Grown man, father of two children, & no job for 4 years? Why are you still there?? Run, don’t walk. What you see is what you get.
Sounds like you are in a terrible relationship. Only you can change it. Leave him or when you are old and grey you will regret not having the guts to move on.
Why would he want to get a job or do anything? Things are going good for him.
Can’t he watch the children while you work? That’s a two way street. If he is not interested in working or house husbanding, then he is not going to get better.
How do you pay bills? He is setting a terrible example for his children… leave!
Not likely and why would he hes not going hungry and he’s got a roof over his head
If it’s been 4 years and he hasn’t had a job he’s not going to change.
Sorry sweetie not a chance. If he hasn’t grown up by now and taking his responsibility seriously he’s never going to. And if you continue to allow this then your co-conspirator in it. I know it’s tough to go on your own, been there done that !but either except him as he is & understand that’s all you’re going to get or MoveOn
After 4 yrs do u really think hes gonna change. Not fair to u or your children
should have thought about that 2 kids ago.
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Nope not going to happen…it sucks but if he won’t leave you have to leave the law is not on your side if there’s no physical abuse
4 years and no job? You’ve got to be kidding… get a paper route, mow lawns. Exactly what does he do all day?
If he hasnt grown up and started trying to get work and be responsible after having kids, he probably never will.
You teach people how to treat you. Leave while you can still build a better life somewhere else.
Sound like both of you have work to do. Him more then you but you’re not doing all you can either.
Leave him maybe one day he will grow up and get a job and become a full grown man. You and your kids deserve better than that.
Get a job… There are a lot of people with two kids that end up having to work! Put on your big girl pants and deal with it and get away from the freeloader
He is your family. Family is everything. If you do throw him out, you will find him with someone else. Hang in there.
Hell if you ain’t working and he ain’t working y’all seem like a match made in heaven
He has no incentive to step up. Start making plans to leave.
He’s using you, that’s not love… if he loved you he would be doing all he can to take care of you…
Listen up he s never going to grow up.so get out or get use to it before you have more kids
Waiting for someone else to change is wasting your time and energy. You are only able to change your life and direction. Make the move to improve your life.
Been there and done it! Some never change! Sorry
Shed the dead weight. You already have two kids, you don’t need a third man child.
He should be supporting you, if you both need to, in order to make ends meet then both…
I would give him two choices. 1. Man up and get a job 2. Go back home to mama.