Is it weird to buy my ex a Christmas gift from our child?

Not weird at all I do it

It’s not weird! And it teaches valuable lessons

No …spend the money on your child, but follow your heart

In the 8 years I have been divorced from my daughter’s father I have always made sure that He has a Birthday Christmas even Easter and Valentines gifts from his child. To me it is more important that our daughter has parents who get along, and not parents who are petty towards each other

I think it’s wonderful. Great parenting! :heart:

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Sounds like you are doing it for you not the child

If you’re going to get a gift from your child to their father, and you continue to do it until your child is old enough. Be ready and have a gift in return to them. Or it will be very painful for them. Especially if they’re 1) not picking the gift and 2) not having it reciprocated in anyway. (Being denied.)

Sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lay. If he’s not willing to be apart of his childs life then and now. He may never be. Don’t let him use your feelings and loyalties against you. It’s all fine to be the bigger person. But you have to set a boundary for yourself and your child eventually. Make sure when your child is old enough you have his information and a photograph to show them so THEY can reach out. It’s ok to say ‘No.’

Just becuase you have a child with someone doesn’t give them the right to continue to abuse you. Its not a get away with being a ass*ole card. Take care of yourself. YOU set the example for your child. If you want them to see abuse as ‘ok’ continue. If not. Make a change seek councelling to be able to say no. Empower yourself.

My ex husband and I kept getting each other a gift after we divorced. We also continued to have Christmas morning together with our daughter’s. He would bring the gifts he got them to our house and they would open them and whatever I got them. We did this even after we were both remarried. My daughters are both adults now and we live in different states so we don’t still do it. We didn’t always get along and we didn’t always agree but we did always put that stuff aside in front of our kids. And they still talk about how we put their feelings first. If your going to see your ex on Christmas to see your kid and want to get them a gift I say do it. If anything it will probably make your kid happy to see you getting along.

That would be a yes, I think that you’re crazy and that inspite of the abuse you endured from him you still have feelings for him. The father being allowed over for the holidays is gift enough. Now I would have a cheap, cute, just in case gift on standby. If he brings gifts I would have something for him too- a coffee mug that says, “Dad’s Merry Mug or something”. I have to applaud you. You may think that this inconsistency with the father is okay now but wait until the little one is older and has a better understanding of the inconsistencies. Wait until you have to explain why he only comes around on holidays or why he didn’t show up on the weekend. Wait until you see the disappointment in your little ones face or see the tears. You need to nip this crap in the bud right now. He’s either going to be a father or not !!

your child is an infant, i would say no, a card maybe, but as the child gets older and asks to get Daddy something then yes but they should choose the gift. right now the gift is from u and he knows that… he is an absentee dad and know that u will still buy and include him… he is ckming to your family dinner, that should be good enough for now. but that is just my opinion. good luck.

No…dont feel right…is your ex…is over…get it over…

I guess he certainly doesn’t deserve a gift but even though your child is young and probably doesn’t realize you are giving a gift teaching a child about giving is a good lesson to learn. The child will eventually learn about his dad .Your ex is an idiot for not being involved in your childs life and one day Wil see what he has done when his child wants nothing to do with him. As far as your family why tell them? Has nothing to do with them and you should keep them out of your business. Wouldn’t have to give the gift when they are at your house. Wouldn’t have to invite when they are their. I respect you for allowing him to see your child even though he treated you badly. I guess it would bother me if since he doesn’t have anything to do with the child to allow him to show up and pretend to be daddy. Are Your forcing him to be involved?

I won’t tell you what to do, but I will tell you what I did. My ex husband was abusive in more ways than one. I filed for divorce when our son was 4 months old…and until our son was able to say, “Mommy, I want to get Dad X for his birthday” or “for Christmas”, I either made or had something made with our son’s handprints, footprints, or something. Didn’t cost an arm and a leg, was a reminder of what he lost/the need to get his act together, was fun for me and the kiddo… Giving or not giving a gift doesn’t so much say anything about him, it says something about you. When something happens are we going to act or react. When we react, we act with our emotions. We need to take our emotions out of it and do what’s right for our kids. I would like nothing more than to hit my ex with a MACK truck. But, that’s not in the best interest of my child :grin: When your kiddo gets older, they’ll realize, like mine, that their “dad” wasn’t as great as he portrayed himself to be. You’ll be respected sooo much more when that is realized. Kudos Momma!

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If your ex is active in his child’s life and the child is still too young to shop on their own for a gift but if your ex isn’t a part of his child’s life then I would say you’re wasting your money, your time and your effort by doing so. You can’t make someone be a parent if they don’t want to. If he is active and a good father good for him!

I have every year for 17 years. We were friends before and after marriage and will always be parents.