I get birthday, fathers day and christmas presents for my sons dad every year.
We have been apart three years in Jan. He does the same for me.
We can be super civil.
We share Christmas morning.
I got him a lot of gifts this year.
Some token and two our son picked. He’s 7.
I’ll always treat his dad with the utmost respect no matter what x
If he’s not buying to his own child I’d sure as hell not spend my money on him!
Do what you feel is right we don’t know you and your circumstances so unfair to judge you you know what’s best for you
If he were involved and decent, then I might understand your choices. I’m all for Fathers rights and positive coparenting.
That being said, he’s not involved …I feel like your gesture is just going to make him think that his actions are acceptable. Also, your baby is too young to learn anything from this, so I question your motives.
Always do what you feel is right BUT don’t go so far as to be taken advantage of.
I have our kids make things for thier other parents.
We just made salt dough ornaments, my stepson will take one to his Mom’s house and my other 2 will take them to thier dad’s house.
I buy for mine from the kid’s. I think it’s amazing for the kid’s as well as help encourage positive coparenting. They like being able to give daddy something. When they were small We would do home made gifts like feet prints, pictures etc. If he is a active dad or will be here for the holidays I wouldn’t not be able to. Would feel very wrong for me to have company over on Christmas and them not have atleast 1 first to open while everyone else does. For just this reason alone I always have a couple extra gifts or gift cards for extra guest.
Baby is too young to understand. Do what you think its best maybe he will learn from this too
Be the parent your baby needs and be a role model for him. Not getting him something isn’t setting the standard of service that you want in return. I would get him a small sentimental gift under 40-50 dollars. My first thought was a framed picture of him and the baby or a special Christmas ornament. Don’t overdo it. Make sure it’s a gift from the baby and not from you.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. I am very civil with my ex also, he even stays with us when he comes to our home state to visit my 16yo. I always bought gifts for him when my so. Was younger (he never did for me), but my son always saw and knew I was doing right by him.
We have to remember when you get divorced or split,
It’s not about you or us anymore, it’s about raising your children and showing them that you can be civilized human beings and those children are always going to remember that and carry it with them the rest of their lives!!!
Yes it will set a great example For your child
No, save your money for your kid. They deserve that gift.
My ex is very involved in our kids lives,so naturally he’s included on the shopping list. He also buys gifts for my step daughters, which is awesome but he doesn’t have to do. You know that saying about not crossing oceans for someone who won’t cross a puddle for you? Yeah. That.
Your learning to co-parent with him. Your family is used to separated couples having turmoil, drama and friction. I wouldn’t buy an expensive gift. I wouldn’t get my Hope’s up, that he would buy one for you. Nor that the two of you would get back together.
I agree with your family. That is crazy. All I can say you definitely have more maturity than I do. I would’ve bought him a glass of bleach for Christmas. For a man to beat on you while pregnant, after pregnancy, and STILL not come around for his kid is insane to me. Just be cautious of buying him gifts from your child because it sounds like your kid won’t be getting anything from him, but LOADS of disappointment. I would make the gift from you. Don’t let a grown ass boy do your child dirty like that. My mom went through abuse and it’s horrible. Something kids should not have to deal with and I get it on the other hand that love makes you do dumb things so you stay. You’re human, but let the gift be from you so you can handle that disappointment rather than your kid. I hope something gives because no child deserves an absent father 
I am with you. You are the better person, for the sake of your child. I still buy gifts for my children for their dad and he is a total and utter arsehole.
No, ur showing ur a good mom
Yes its weird. Keep it separate. The only conclusion I could come to for why you would is that you want him back.
My daughters 3 and i have purchased things for him every fathers day his birthday and xmas on behalf of my girl and hes loved it and kept those things. Wether he buys me anything i couldnt care less.
He is abusive sorry no way have some self respect and find someone who will appreciate and love you
My kids want to get their dad a gift so of course we will be getting one ! They will choose it and it will be from them, it’s about what you want to teach your child. I know for a fact he will not do the same thing but it’s not about that it’s about the example I want to set
I am even though he wronged me in so many ways, I want to teach my children Christmas is not just about receiving gifts it’s about giving as well.
Your kid will only know how to treat others if you know how to treat others cause your, your child’s role model. You are doing what is right! Be kind, be generous and don’t feel bad because you don’t want anyone left out on Christmas!
My husband doesn’t buy his ex stuff but she buys him things from their daughter. I see nothing wrong with it
Personally I would have done the samething. Actually my husband and I buy for his exwife and her so. As well as my ex-husband and so. It’s all in the way of showing the kids that even though you and the other parent is not together that as adults you can get along.
Not everyone has a giving heart. You do what makes you feel good. Christmas is a season of giving. Dont become a scrooge and stifle your spirit because others think you shouldn’t be so kind.
Not weird at all! I just sent my daughters dad a gift from her.
Well it’s not really everyone’s business how you choose to parent/coparent. Who gives a crap what anyone thinks about it. You do what you feel is right and there is nothing wrong with that!
I feel u have some type of unresolved feelings for your baby daddy . maybe even want him back? Hnmmnm?
No. I always got my sons dad something from our son. Nothing weird about it.
I bought my sons Father Christmas presents…
I think it’s fine! I have done the same thing!! Never allow others to make you second guess your actions or intentions. You are a wonderful person for being so very thoughtful!!!
I got several small things for my ex for christmas and his birthday, to be ‘from’ our daughter. She technically picked them out. I held things up and let her choose which color. She’s 1. Besides, he won’t be getting anything otherwise.
Follow your sweet spirit and heart. Your child is lucky to have you.
It’s not weird, honestly it shows a lot of love. Even if you’re not together it’s important in the future for your child to see you two acting as friends and loving towards each other. A United front is more important than any persons opinion. Y’all are the one raising the child together.
Hold your head up high and be the bigger person. My partner likes to buy his own stuff
No, I do this, birthdays, Father’s day. I give them some money and they pick something xx
Another idea if it wasn’t already posted…and again depending on the age(s) why not let draw a picture or do a small project? This is something from the child and it’s personally whether have significant others or not. Does he by for you?
Yes. Now, that all depends on the situation of course. If the person is a POS who isnt really in the child’s life for real, then no. But if the person is a good parent, and actually cares, then yes. The idea is to teach your child the joy of giving without expecting anything in return. So your child can feel excited about giving, and understand what it’s all about.
You are teaching and showing your child the gift of giving and that alone is a gift in itself. Keep on doing you ma!!! You’re good!
I think you’re setting a good example for your child. Don’t worry about what anyone else says. Do what feels right to you.
You have to ask yourself this. Are you doing.it to try and rekindle a relationship? Or to entice him to be more active? Those are 2 questions you need to ask yourself.
It sounds like you got him a pretty expensive gift the way your talking about it and the way your family is reacting. If that is the case, I personally think that’s crazy. It almost seems like your trying to get him to like you again to like be with him. Is it wrong to give someone a gift? No. But if you spent more than $40 on a gift for this dude…I’d rethink your reasoning
Nope we did it until the kids were old enough and had jobs of their own … just make it simple
For the past 7 years I always got my son’s father a gift from him every year and probably will until he’s 18. My mom did the same with my father and I really appreciated it growing up. just picking up something for my dad I thought he would like, my dad loves it too and still talks about gifts I picked out, all because my mom started my first Christmas doing this. I’m doing the same with my son’s father as well. We are in no way on good terms but it’s for my son to give his dad something besides just the ornament or picture he makes for him, unless he chooses not to one year, then I’ll support that decision but have a back up one in case he changes his mind💖
We have always done it also. The right thing to do
It’s totally up to you… he is your child’s father and is going to be in your life and child’s life for a long time; why not make it comfortable and friendly
You do you but I hope you got socks!!
You should do whatever makes you feel good. Its nobody elses business.
I would make the dad something from your kid. I feel like it could be turned around and “oh you spent the money I gave you(child support) on something for me” if you say it was my own money not child support “well if you have money why do you need child support” your heart is in the right place so go ahead. I hope it works out for you.
I did this for my ex as well from my daughter and tried to civil and I finally just stopped because after so many years of you giving into a person that never appreciates your child just because they are there without all the gifts and loyalties is exhausting. He should want to be there for your baby because he loves your baby. Your not together anymore and from personal experience I’d say it should be something homemade from your child a card with their foot print or a clay imprint or finger painting but not something you went out and bought.
People talking about setting an example…it is a BABY! That baby has no idea and wont for several years buuying pn behalf of an older child is one thing but this? This is NOT about the child in my opinion sound like you are still pining for your ex! Time to be honest with yourself.
Since the dad seems like he is forced to be in the picture I think it’s a bad idea. And since your son is an infant it doesn’t really count because the baby didn’t ask to buy daddy a Christmas gift. After the mistreatment and him not really wanting to be around I don’t think it’s a good idea. I think the gift is from you and you still have feelings for him. On the other hand if he was a great father and showed he wants to be there for the kid, then yes even if the gift was from you.
Looks like you are not over him… you still trying to get him back…
I buy my kids dad a gift from my children and he does the same for me. I even get their step mother a gift.
I did it. It’s about the kids learning the joy of giving, not the ex.
Yes that is weird he is your ex and he is not a good father why would you want to reward him with a gift for that kind of behavior/being an absent father he obviously does not care about being a father. If you want it to be from your child why not make a mold of your baby’s hand print or something if you really want to give him something. Why do you have to buy him something when it’s clearly from you cuz your child is an infant and he doesn’t get you or your child anything. Sounds to me like someone is not over someone. Sorry I am 100% on your families side on this I mean look at it from their point he mistreated not only you but them as well and then you go and buy him a Christmas present it’s like a smack in their face like you don’t care.
I think a lot of you didn’t even bother to read the post otherwise you would not be agreeing with her. He is an emotionally and verbally abusive person to not only her, but her family and pretty much an absent parent to their child.
Depends on the situation. I’ve had an amicable split, i sent my kids 50 bucks each to buy there dad a pressie.
No I always did for my daughter for xmas, birthday and father’s day. He didn’t bother, but my mom took care of that with her. It’s about the child. Good job momma
I did up until he started earning his own money, this year he isn’t even buying me a present. He’s 17 next week so it’s up to him who he buys for, it’s his responsibility now. I did the right thing by his father and vice versa.
It can be a homenade gift w their pictures and handprints
Don t spend alot, let the kids help makke it then it really will be from them!!
Seems like you are wanting more from him and hope that your child is the key for that to happen…Ditch the idiot and let him go to court for visitation IF he wants it, don’t force something upon someone if they don’t want it 100%
Being that your kid is an infant, you bought the gift for you. Nobody would do that for a man who isn’t active and from an infant child.
Not weird at all. I think that’s great parenting. Teaching your son a very valuable lesson as well. Kudos
Why is he going to your family’s for dinner, etc…?
I don’t think it’s right. He needs to act like a dad before he gets treated like one. I see a lot of heartache, disappointments in the future. You are going above and beyond for someone who is not a good father
Regardless of everything else , always be true to you! We can’t tell you what’s right for you. We can judge the situation and say he dsnt deserve it however that clearly is not how your heart works. You do what makes you feel RIGHT. Don’t go against what comes natural to you. We need good ppl in this world. You seem to be one of them. 
your child is blessed.
My ex doesn’t do for his children or don’t pay his childsupport but I go out of my way cause of my 11 n 6 year old who asking me can we get daddy a Christmas gift or a Birthday gift I do cause of them to make them smile so no you are not in the wrong for doing that . Even though they only have phone contact with each other he dosent brother coming seeing them but I feel he his still there dad no matter what …
Me and my ex separated 5 years ago. I usually do get him a gift for his birthday Father’s Day and Christmas from our children (we have 2 kids together 12,7) he never takes the kids and let’s them get me anything he will get gifts and stuff for his gf from my kids for holidays including mother’s day but it is what it is I try do do the right thing.
Your not wrong, it just shows you have a better heart than most people, just make sure your not giving to much to someone who dosen’t deserve it or appreciate it. Personally reading your story, I wouldnt buy him crap, but that’s stemming from my own abusive ex,. But as long as your happy with your choice nothing else matters. My parents are divorced, they always took us to get presents for eachother, but they were not abusive to eachother in anyway.
My ex husband has never done anything for me since before we divorced. Even tried to keep my daughter from me when she lived with him. However, i used to take my daughter shopping for Christmas and a birthday gift for him. I think of it this way he/is YOUR ex, not your child’s ex. Sometimes, it takes a lot to be the bigger person.
Girl you do what’s in your heart and what you feels is right for your child! Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks because you will drive your self crazy can’t make everyone happy all the time! If I was you I would do what’s best for your children!
Only if your child is old enough to say he/she wants to buy a gift for him. He’s not worth anything more than that.
If you feel good about your choice, you’re right! Be the bigger person. As long as it doesn’t break the bank, I don’t see the harm. Just don’t be surprised if he doesn’t change.
Just put its from the kids let them wrap it and them smile
It is never wrong to be kind. You share a child, and you always will. I think it’s great that you have such a loving heart, and your child will benefit in innumerable ways because of these “little” kindnesses! GO YOU 
No it’s not weird. I do it every year and so do they. It’s not from me (even if I pay for it) It’s from my kids. To me it shows my kids who I am. Nothing is about the adults anymore, it’s about the kids. I respect you for even thinking about doing this.
Why buy him a gift when you said he’ll more than likely not get the child anything and only comes around to show off etc… He’s verbally abuse you and family/ disappeared on you . Why do all of that maybe I’m reading it wrong, but had he been the opposite of what you said coming around for the child, your pregnancy etc I could see getting him something
I will buy a gift for the other parent and her brother (not my child) as a gift from her to them. Idc.
Nope I do it he’s the kids dad don’t mean I have to give a rates about him but I spend 5-15 every holiday or birthday
It’s respectable of you. Only you can make the right decision for you and yours. You felt it was right to do. A right decision for you, could be the wrong one for someone else. Happy Holidays to you
Its ok to do this but wait for the child to grow up. Right now your just buying him gifts. But later when the kid gets older let them choose.
I think you’re a fucking push over. This is my EXACT situation with my son’s father, and he’s not getting shit.
No, take the gift back and use it on your child. He’s a loser and will never change. Your hope by doing this he will come to his senses but it seems it’s all show. And only comes around for holidays let Scrooge stay home. Alone…
I wouldn’t spend the money on him…no way
If U feel U should buy him something than it should be a card an sign U Child’s name. At least it’s something but U shouldn’t have to go out of Ur way to buy him anymore.
About him coming over, no way. Don’t U plan on going on with Ur life an finding a good MAN. Just saying
No it is super !! We teach by example choose to be a bridge.
I wld wait until the child is older
Than do that way
Why wld u buy him anything if he isn’t helping with the baby
I wld return it to the store and get something
For the baby like diapers
Yr child is more important
Than he is
The baby should always come first
Over any man
Been
In this delimma before
When my kids were little …
Concentrate
On u and the baby and not so much him
They are only babies once and they grow so fast
Good luck in making the right decision
But u and the baby comes before him
Always take that to heart
From someone who has been there
Don’t do it my daughter did the exact same thing and my grandchildren never received anything from him and didnt pay child support he is only using you and the child will be the one hurt in the long run you’re not going to be a bad person but you don’t need you’re child growing up hurt
I wouldn’t but it isn’t wrong if you choose to do it. When my son’s father didn’t step up like he should have I brought a gift for them and told them it was from their Dad.
I did this every year until they were old enough to go on their own
It has nothing to do with you only the child. Do what you think is best for the child.
I use to give my kids certain amount let them by something for there dad
I would. It’s not about what he does or doesn’t do but about your character.
“Our child is still an infant”…I think that is where we should start. Your child will not be giving this gift. You will be the gift giver. No matter how you phrase it. Check your motives. You have already said he was abusive. You’ve already said he isn’t involved as he should be. Are you simply being kind or are you displaying abuse victim tendencies? If your child was 3 or older and wanted to get daddy a gift, I’d say do it. But YOU are doing this in the name of an infant which leads me to believe you think being kind to this man will turn him around. I just want you to question your own motives and be honest. I’m not saying you are right or wrong. Just please be honest and research how people respond to abuse situations and symptoms or results from trauma. You might discover why you are doing this or why you want to do this. Forgiveness and peace are great but not if they arent from pure motives. You cannot change him with your gifts.
I think it’s an wonderful jester. I do for my son’s father
You have a good great buying your ex a Christmas present is so wonderful and a nice thing to do you know your baby Daddy might come around to spending.more time with your child
I let my little girl give her daddy and his gf a gift
yes it’s ok too it shows your doing the right thing even if he doesn’t