Okay mommies please help I need some advice. Me and my kids father are no longer together. I lost my job and haven’t had any luck into finding one at the moment , so things been rough for us. My baby daddy helps some what every maybe twice a month. It’s very hard doing it alone. But I’m in a tight squeeze where I really can’t afford to buy toilet paper , detergent and what not that I really need to also wash our kids clothes. I recently got help from my community for food cause I couldn’t afford food. I don’t want him to think I’m money hungry if I ask him? Would I be in the wrong for asking him? We don’t do child support or anything but I’m thinking it’s time to start. Idk what else to do
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Id start the child support
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Just ask him to buy wht u need instead of the money
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Tell him the items you need? Maybe he will see you really need help
I think it’s ok to be open with him. Just say hey, I really need…detergent, Toilet paper, and w.e else u need. I know in my case my daughter’s father would have preferred I be more open about what we needed. But it also depends on the guy. And ur approach matters if u just say ‘hey I need $100’ he might be more inclined to ask why. But if u just specify he might just swing by the store and get u what u need
Explain you literally have no money for the basic essentials. Tp, detergent etc… that you need more help.
File for child support, food stamps, medical, WIC if your child qualifies, and everything else. I’ve definitely been in your shoes. Also if the child is in school, ask guidance counselors if they know of any resources that can help.
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I’d ask him, and if he refuses then I go for child support. They are his kida too. It’s not for you it’s for them.
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Yes do what you need to do take care of your babies
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Time for a lawyer and child support that comes in consistently
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If you are incapable of taking care of and providing for your children, they should be with their father while you figure things out. You are forcing your children to go without.
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Or write a list and ask him to get it
Give him a list of things you really need.
Definitely child support but it’s not wrong of you to ask for help especially if the kid lives with you.
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Time to start child support for sure…
Until then, you can ask him to buy these things instead of handing money over to you. You need these things for the child too.
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Grow up, go to court, get custody established, child support, and visitation. Secure a life for your child.
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Apply for sole parent benifit
If he’s a consistent dad and is involved, Give the kids to him and get yourself back on your feet. Nothing wrong with that choice either.
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He should be paying for child support!
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Talk to him and let him know exactly what you need and see if he will help you out or do child support and do that way
Get child support established. You shouldn’t have to ask. Stop making it about him and make it about your child
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He should be paying regular child support
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Definitely get child support going. It’s not you being money hungry.
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I would either send him a list and ask him to please get it… or tell him you need money for these things as your children need clean clothes and what not… I don’t think it’s wrong to ask especially if you don’t make him pay child support
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Private message me. I will help.
He is helping with money twice a month?
If you can’t do it right now , give the kids to him. Get on your feet and then make a plan
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That’s what child support services is there for.
I did not file for child support services until about 5 years after our divorce but that’s because once you let them know that they can pay a little bit here and there they think that’s all they have to do and they’ll keep on testing you and then sometimes you have to be the quote unquote bad person and put your foot down by going to child support services and it’s worth it trust me
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Dad should have the kids until you get your stuff together
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Child support and sign up for assistance. This situation is exactly what it is there for.
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Is unemployment an option? Food stamps they would prob give you emergency ones. You can call your local assistance office and they would be able to help
You don’t do child support??? That’s supposed to be a REQUIREMENT!!!
Not an option
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Ask for items instead of cash it works better for me
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Why isn’t he paying child support?
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Get child support. There’s nothing wrong with it. Until then see if he’ll buy the stuff y’all need
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I stopped at me n my kids father . Yup ask him for money
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Everywhere is hiring. Literally everywhere.
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Just because you can’t find a job, doesn’t mean it’s time for child support! It sounds like he already willingly helps. I would ask him and go from there. Child support isn’t for dads who already do for their kids. You may stir some shit up that’s not necessary taking him for child support when he already helps. At this point, any job should do even if it’s temporary until you find something you want. Literally everywhere is hiring right now.
Ask him and if he doesn’t wanna help then seek child support 
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Also go apply for TANF/cash assistance
Start up the child support, either between you and him on a monthly bases or thru the child support recovery office. He know he’s not doing right. Go to your churches, salvation army and food pantries in your county for help with the things you mentioned and some help paying utility bills and give our food and personal hygiene items and things for the child but you need to call and ask
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It’s OK to ask him to help provide for the children he helped create. Make a child support arrangement.
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Maybe ask him to buy the stuff you need for the kids instead of asking for the money if you don’t want to do child support.
You need to file for child support and get on food stamps
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I recommend getting child support. It will allow you to receive a determined amount by the state. You’ll have more consistent payment as well. If he doesn’t pay, it will still be owed.
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I’d ask for the stuff instead of money so he can actually see where the money is going and learn to coupon … you can get toothpaste for free , detergent and tp for over 70% off
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It’s okay to ask him for help especially with necessities kids also need toilet paper detergent for their clothes to be washed etc you can also apply for state help fip and snap
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Why would you ask your ex for money get looking for a job there are places that are hiring and you need to sign up for assistance if I can raise 3 kids and get a second job to help myself and kids you defiantly can my daughter did the same .
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Ups is almost always hiring. Upsjobs.com especially right now with the holidays approaching. They pay pretty well and provide really good benefits
I’d simply ask for help before child support. You may jeopardize having a good co parent.
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If yall are amicable, then do it. Don’t ask for money itself though as this often causes tension, warranted or not. Rather be like, hey, I hate to ask you but ive exhausted my options. Is there any way you could grab the girls & I some TP & laundry soap to get us through a bit as I don’t currently have enough money? Don’t ask for money. Ask instead if he can get you the items so he is assured where the money is going to.
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Girl you better put him on child support he needs to provide he created those kids also not just you .
Go to your local DHHR
def okay to ask. you’re primary caregiver of his baby. 
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No get child support he needs to help
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You need to ask him to buy the stuff you need for the kids. Deodorant is not his job. Everywhere is hiring too so time to grind even if it sucks for a bit
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Ask for items and explain the situation due to you looking for work
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Yes, ask for money, and then yes if you feel that you need to get child support, go for it.
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Ask for things since he already gives you money. Ask if he could get you the items on a provided list. Idk where you are but look it w copart is near you. That is where I work and we have over 20 yards nationwide. We even offer work from home positions for customer service. It’s a great starting pay too.
I would also go to the local domestics office and get child support. He knows he should be paying more. Also get emergency welfare. That is exactly what is it there for. Even get a job at McDonald’s. A job is better than no job.
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It’s ok to ask him for help, especially since he doesn’t pay child support. Give him a list of things you need instead of cash
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Instead of asking for money, ask for the stuff. If he doesn’t mind helping financially, I’m sure he won’t mind buying the stuff needed.
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Apply for food stamps to help out. You won’t get cash aid cuz you have to be working or going to school to get cash aid but you can at least apply for food stamps and you’ll probably automatically qualify for state insurance if you get approved for food stamps. I would also go to the child support office and file for child support. If your kids are under 5 years old you can also go apply for WIC.
Sounds like he already pays child support twice a month it’s just not thru the courts. Be grateful he’s actually helps already and maybe find a bf to help you. He’s only responsible for his kids not you
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You are doing your children a disservice if you DON’T take him to court or put child support enforcement on his trail. You didn’t make the children by yourself nor should it be your responsibility to solely support them! Stop considering his feelings and think of your children!
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If he does not financially help you there is no reason why you can’t ask. Legally you can request it. You losing your job, you should apply for unemployment, and food stamps which will help pay for things you need. Should not have to be alone on this.
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Ask him to get the items. Also, you need to get child support started.
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Absolutely ask him to help with those essentials while you are oow. Also seek more regular support from him. Check your communities food drives. Some are giving toiletries out along with gift cards to local stores.
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I’d ask him for help. But get out n look for a job no matter if it’s a fast food job atm. He shouldn’t have to support u n every thing u need. Sometimes we have to think if someone helps us once than it’s gonna run out so he’s not gonna keep helping I’m sure that’s why he’s a ex.
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Ask for help. Everyone goes through rough patches in life. Your caring for your children. They come #1.
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Discuss the issues with him. Go to your local human service department and apply for help so you can get back on your feet.
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Asking for money is fine but he has every right to say no just like anyone else does. You can do what so much for yourself. Find clothing closets, food pantries, resources. Churches may have food drives during certain times. Just don’t ask too often.
Yes ma’am it is time for him to take care of the kids honestly does he know you lost your job? Hopefully he doesn’t want his kids and u to do without
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You got this!
The children are half his obligation. For example- if there’s 3 kids plus you living in the house and your housing costs $2400 (rent/ mortgage plus the utilities); then he should be required to pay $900 for housing ($2400/4= $600= each person, 600/2= $300= half payment for children, $300x3= $900= rent portion for kids). Then you gotta add the kids’ portion of food, medical (even add up cough medicine, Tylenol, bandages, etc), extracurricular activities, clothing, and entertainment.
You’re probably looking at a lot more that is LEGALLY required of him than he has been giving you.
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Yes. Time for child support
Maybe ask him if he can care for your daughter while you get on your feet. If you can’t afford/supply basic necessities unfortunately the state would deem you unfit and you could potentially loose custody of your kid all together. Start getting that resume out there. Be proactive about securing yourself. Once you do, have her come back and continue as normal. It’s not daddies job to do for anyone else but his kid. If you need to wash the kids clothes, ask if he can take them to his house and wash them since you cant right now.
Why not let them live with him full-time until you’re more stable?
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It’s never a good time to get family court involved. Talk to him. He might not know the extent of the problems. Maybe the kids would be better with him for the time being. Talk. To. Him.
Take a job you don’t want, just for the money now, then get the job you want when things are more secure.
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Get court ordered child support.
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You said he helps “somewhat” what exactly do you mean by that? Does he give you money? If so how much does he usually give? Do you have access to washing machine & dryer to do the clothes & it’s just detergent you need? Because if you also need money for machines, maybe he has access to them & could do them for you…? But I agree with everyone else that you should just ask for the items that you need instead of cash. If he already gives you a decent amount of money then I wouldn’t run & file for child support because that could ruin the decent relationship that you currently have with him. Good luck, I know it’s not easy.
You’re not wrong asking for what you’re entitled to
Take him for anything you can get it doenst make you a hero to let your kids go with out
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Talk to him. He may not know your in a bind. I doubt he’ll let his kids suffer through not having. Seems like he’s already giving you money on a every two week basis which I’m sure goes along with his job pay schedule. There’s a lot of people saying child support but since he’s already put himself on a payment schedule with you and honestly you could end up with less money from him and resentment for no reason. Please talk to that man it’s not his fault you lost your job and you won’t know where his head is at until you do. Also have you thought about letting him take care of the kids so you can get back on your feet.
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Give him a list of what you need.if you lived near me I’d bring you stuff.
How about letting the kids stay with him instead of you, you cant provide necessities. You can get a job and pay him the support when you get a job. It’s his job to provide for the kids, not to provide to you.
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OF COURSE ASK HIM. He brought those kids into the world too. Come on wise up.
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Sign up for tca and food stamps
Never hurts to ask. The worst that’s gunna happen is he is going to say no. But you don’t know unless you ask.
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Two words: CHILD SUPPORT 
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Becareful with CS because it can be alot lower than what he pays already. I’ve had a few friends that got mad at their baby daddy’s because they didn’t give them money when they wanted it one time and they ended up in court and the dad was made to pay alot less than what he was doing on his own
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You should get those babies that child support.
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Child support shouldn’t be used so that you can live. That’s not what it’s for. Explain to him why youre struggling, don’t ask for money ask for specific items that are needed. He is helping so you’re not doing it alone and child support isn’t needed. Can dad take child temporarily while you sort everything out?
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BE CAREFUL how much you let him know. If he’s vindictive he can use it to take the kids and get custody
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Child support services through your state
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Ask. You can say you need help and if he’s not comfortable giving money then can he please shop with or for you to get the absolute necessities
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Child support is not a question. It’s for children’s survival
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Go for child support you shouldn’t have to struggle
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It’s ok to ask him for help occasionally but he’s not your provider anymore. I would suggest that you two work out a contract of what he will pay you monthly or go get your child support. His obligations are to take care of his CHILDREN, not his baby momma 
. Clearly if y’all aren’t living together then that means he has his own house with his own bills etc to pay and his own necessities to buy for his home. It sounds like your child would be better off with him for the time being until you get back on your feet.
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If you both split on mutual terms and that he’s a decent human then explain to him the situation first I’m sure he would understand that you need a little extra help with things even if it means he buys them for you and drops them off at your current home even take a a job you may not like for the time being that helps cover most of the basics you and the kids née better then nit having any job at all will your parents help out abit till your steady on your feet
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You might mess around and lose those kids… especially if he can prove that you can’t provide for those children… which from reading this post you can’t… soooo you’re definitely treading some very shallow water…
Some of the “advice” here is ridiculous…
As a single mother on ssi, no child support (sons father refuses to get a job bc he has thousands of dollars in unpaid child support for his previous child) …some things arent so simple/cut and dry…I see a lot of folks putting this woman down for struggling…from what I read of this situation it doesn’t seem to me at all that she is asking or expecting the father to provide for her…
Smh
Some of y’all should be ashamed of yourself for the shit advice given, but that’s simply my opinion so what’s it really matter🙄