He needs to he paying support each month based on his income taxes from last year.
Ask him for some help, let him know what the situation is but don’t go into great detail. Some men like to hold it over your head that you " can’t provide for the kids " ask for a few bucks, find a job and go through the courts for support
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Child support is not a quick solution, I would just ask him for help
If he doesn’t pay child support. Then I would ask for child support or go to court.
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Are the kids able to go stay with him a while? I am pro-dad as I was raised by my father and thank God!! My mom struggled as well.
Now if he doesn’t want the kids or can’t provide for them himself then that’s one thing… but assuming he is capable….let them go with dad till mom gets more stable. Seems like she needs a break to figure things out.
Yall saying give the kids to him ,thats dumb,u dont just give up your kids, u do what u gatta do to get what u need for them ,and if that means asking for help then to that, u dont just give your kids away ,just try to ask him it dont hurt,if he says no then he says no, if he isnt willing to help with a good amount then yea you take him for child support,but if hes already giving you a good amount and he says no, then you gatta try to figure it out ,thats what single moms do, we struggle but we figure it out,good luck sweetie! Hope all goes well for you and your babies
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Ask him but also take him to court to get a regular support payment coming in
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Just ask him and see if he will help. Mine pays cs but we both have always helped one another with things if we’ve gotten in a tight spot.
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If you lived in England 
this wouldn’t be happening…so very wrong…good luck xx
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Apply for child support
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You could always apply for TANF through Health and Human Resources. You could even try for food stamps. I believe they load onto the same card but not 100%. Since you don’t legally receive child support, you may qualify for TANF. It is specifically for families who are struggling. It is temporary relief, so don’t expect to just get free money all the time, but it would def help you through your hardship, at least till you could get a job or a higher paying job if you already work.
Call churches in your area and ask about food drives, etc. A lot of them, you just pull up and they load a box into your car with essentials and goodies. Many also help with household items.
Also search for pregnancy/childcare resource centers near you. They offer help for everyone, not just pregnant women. There’s one in the town I live in which opened a store where they sell clothes, shoes and household items for extremely cheap – I’m talking $0.99 for nice blouses. There are places out there that could help you and yours.
Best of luck. It’s rough out there for everyone.
If he is not willingly helping to provide for his child, take it to court. You didn’t make that baby on your own and you shouldn’t have to take care of that baby on your own. At the very least, the courts will enforce financial support.
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Thats what he is there for.He’s your children’s father and I’m sure he will step up(I hope)and help
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If he’s giving you money twice a month that is child support. Is it a very small amount? Do you think you’d get more in court? I’d be very very careful about court. From your comment it sounds like you are struggling to provide the bare minimum for your children. Would their father be able to provide for them better?
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I would sit down and talk to him first. There are lots of options. Maybe u can work a schedule for him to take the kids so u can get a job. Maybe he doesn’t know how bad u r struggling. You are not his responsibility but this is about ur kids. They need clean clothes, soap, to, etc. If he is taking them 50/50 then he should be able to help you out. If he is doing 50/50 then maybe u can door dash or shipt or something. Post on ur locate mom page the exact job u need hours pay etc. I found the perfect job doing so. Definitely talk to him communication goes a long way.
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Why can’t you ask him. And give him your list of necessities… that way your not asking for money.
And have you looked into local churches.
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Just ask him
The worst is he will say no
Or maybe ask him and send him a list and see if he could pick it up for you
Maybe look into food stamps 
Food banks
Public assistance
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I am sure you could put a list of what is needed or go fund me to help you with a little help. I would very much help with a few items. If it can be shipped, maybe a PO Box?? PayPal ???
Get that child support
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He should be giving you weekly or monthly support anyway. If these are things you need for the children then u should ask for help especially if he doesn’t have a consistent payment schedule w you.
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No it isn’t wrong for you to ask, if he isn’t already helping. Go through child support and you won’t have to ask.
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If it makes you insecure send him a list of things you need instead of asking for money?
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Rinse his sperm donor ass for every fucking penny
Ummmm he’s supposed to be paying child support. Why isn’t he? It’s his responsibility to take care of his child. If he has insurance at work the kid should be on that too.
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If you aren’t on bad terms, just ask. Hopefully, he will see it as the mother of his children needing help and nothing else. My kids dad started child support on his own, I never pushed it and before he started it he gave me $100 a week.
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Talk to him…let him know what…?, you need. That would help the kids and you. Hope it works out.
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Maybe ask him politely if he’d be willing to purchase said items for you.
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Youre unemployed atm so are you claiming the all benefits you’re entitled to ? Visit your unemployment Office and they will advise you
There should already be a child support agreement set up if you’re apart. They are his children too and you can’t budget if you don’t know whats coming into the home.
Obviously you keep looking for work but there’s no shame in claiming benefits while you are and certainly no shame asking Dad for help with the basics while you sort out a formal agreement.
You can get a child support order but technically he’s giving it to you. I don’t know how much but it’s he’s doing it. You can go online and and get a round about price. If he’s giving you more than that I wouldn’t go. If he’s giving you less than go. The court however won’t give you extra money for your living situation. They only calculate based on his income and the amount of children.
Absolutely should be doing child support unless he has them 50% of the time. Nobody should accuse anyone of being “money hungry” over detergent & toilet paper, but if you are worried have him shop for what you need and drop it off
Child support would have been the first thing I went for.
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After me & my daughters father split, I was struggling just as bad for a bit. I didn’t just give my daughter up either. Me & her dad didn’t go the court route either. & I won’t. When we needed necessities, I would ask him for the specific items & not money. Shoot, there was one time where I couldn’t even afford tampons & went to him about it & he got them. He was a little weary about giving cash though. Which, I would’ve been too.
Apply for Snap & wic. If you do go the child support route, then apply for tanf as well. You can go to temp agencies & they always have jobs available where you don’t need experience. Call your local social services & ask about resources. You can even call homeless shelters around you & they can provide resources as well. It’s hard. But, it’s doable. You got this, momma!
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If you sign up for assistance like food stamps they will put him on child support. If you need the help, file and do what you need to for your child
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Get the child support… It takes two to raise a child.
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Ask him, he would ask you. Don’t suffer if you don’t have to.
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File for child support. This is a war you probably won’t win with him.
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You could ask him if he can give you money to buy xyz… Or give him a list and see if he’d be willing to purchase them for you
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Have you utilized your community resources? Food assistance, Cash assistance, rental and utility assistance? There is so much available if you reach out
There does not NEED to be nor is it REQUIRED to have a child support order in enforcement. That is NOT the law unless one or both parties agree or file for it.
Giving you money for what BOTH OF YOUR GUY’S kids need is not something I feel should be an issue on his part. If it’s FOR THEM and what is needed to keep them going. If it was for you to buy bullshit for yourself, that would be different. But you are wanting to ask for BASIC NECESSITIES!
Now if you ask, and he then makes a big deal out of it, YES, GO FOR CHILD SUPPORT! There is NO shame in that IF it is being used FOR THE CHILDREN!
You didn’t make those kids on your own!
i am making these days easily more than $500 per day for doing work online. i got my 3rd payment last month of $16120. i was surprised when one of my close friend told me she was making $17771 per month but now i see how it works.
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Maybe get a job lol. Just like any normal mother. Your child’s father isn’t responsible for you. Just his child. Get off your *** and work and obviously the kids need to go to him if you can’t afford anything and want to live off him for YOUR basic needs. He dont owe you anything but his child and what they need and want not what you need. Get off your ***
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No, you’re not wrong to ask, you gave him children.
Also try washing clothes in the bathtub with body wash and hanging them by a fan or outside to dry.
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You should be able to ask him to help support your kids without guilt. You should do court ordered child support. Having it court ordered protects both of you. If he doesn’t pay the court will try to enforce it. Emphasis on try but at least it’s something. Without you can’t do anything. It also keeps that track that he is paying so you can’t say later that he hasn’t supported his children. Some women think they’re doing him a favor by doing everything outside the court. You’re just screwing yourself.
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Get that child support order ASAP.
Ur child deserves to live comfortably
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I would tell him what you need and since those things listed are what the kids need also if I were you I would ask him. If he didn’t velu
I’ve u have him go with u to purchase. Have you applied for food stamps, unemployment and other resources out there.
His kids…yes ask him for cash or have him take the kids untill you can get on your feet…i did when my daughter was young
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Yes you should apply for child support. You shouldn’t have to ask your ex for a hand out when you aren’t able to support the kids on your own.
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Child support
Yes absolutely
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You need to get child support. But by sound he already contributes. Sounds like you need a fixed sum and date then he can’t think money hungry as it’s his contribution. It’s hard I’ve 4 kids can’t work you really have to learn to budget. I don’t get maintenance though.
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Maybe see if he can take the kids so you can get your life straight? Your kids don’t deserve to suffer
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He definitely should be paying child support on a regular basis.if he gets paid weekly than you should be getting a weekly child support every other week than you get twice as much .if he’s not willing than go to court …in my state it’s a % of his gross pay than a certain more % for each child
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You could ask him to buy those things for you so you’re not asking for money directly. Those are necessities for the kids so he should be willing to help.
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Are you getting child support?
Also, just FYI, if you’re unable to care for them at this time he could potentially gain primary custody. So just be aware. That isn’t always a bad thing either. Maybe until you are better able to support them after you’ve secured a job.
It’s hard momma but keep going.
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Why the he*" don’t you do child support!?!?. He should support the kids he made! That’s super crazy enabling, he needs to support the kids he made!
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Tell him what you need and if he refuses to help support his child then child support it is.
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She literally stated he helps her about twice a month so if you ask me NO he shouldn’t be responsible for PAYING for literally EVERYTHING! If she’s unable to take care of her children they need to compromise and maybe have him take them until she’s able to get back on her feet! She can’t just EXPECT him to give her MONEY for EVERYTHING especially when she’s ALREADY stated he does in fact help her with money!! Everyone is ACTING like he doesn’t do anything, but that’s NOT the case she’s literally has said he does give her money
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No it’s not wrong and unless he has them half of the time he should be providing you with support for them. If he does provide half of everything, then maybe offer to repay when you can.
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If the roles were flipped I’d want honesty so I could help, just talk to him let him know what you need, you never know till you ask & I’d provide whatever to help whether together or not your a team for the kids
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First off. Stop calling him “my baby daddy” that sounds ridiculous. He’s the father of your children. That’s so childish to say. Secondly, he is the father and should have no problem getting necessary items for your children.
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Is he paying child support? Does he regularly buy the kids things they need? If the answer is No, then yes you should be able to ask him. If Yes, no you shouldn’t.
However if your having problems finding a job & you are struggling there are programs to help you. There is WIC (Its a federal program for food, child 0-5 qualifies you), TANIF (you have to do a program to get the money. It helps you find work), there is child care assistance & a program that will help you go back to school/college so you can get ahead!
I think he should be paying support. Asking him for money shouldn’t be an issue considering he doesn’t pay for his kids.
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Parents are parents.
If this shoe was on the other foot, I would expect a man to do the same thing.
Ask for said items that you need to help out.
Every parent that needs to pay support, should.
None of this should be about the parent, it’s about the children and their needs.
No child should go without. Period.
Peace and Blessings to you. I hope things turn around for you.
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He needs to help you
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If you have the kids full time he should be paying child support and insurance for the kids.
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Just a suggestion.
If you have these items you can make your own detergent.
Baking soda / washing soda , Borax , and if you have or your local dollar store ( baby Oxi clean) mix equal parts . I make my own laundry detergent. Although I shred a solid laundry bar and throw that in the mix .
Toilet paper - take old T-shirts cut them up and use them as family wipes . Take a bucket with a lid or something to discard the used ones . This is good if you’re in a bind .
I’d talk to him before bringing child support into this - especially if you guys have worked it out together this long. And I’d definitely for food stamps and medical through the state. Plus all the other assistance that they offer - if kids under 5 WIC is pretty immediate and it’s ultimately calling
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Apply for food stamps and coupon, and yes tell him you need help
He should be paying support! Why not?
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Literally what child support is for. It’s to support the children. Yes he should pay before the State does, they’re his kids. It’s not just that he has to provide if you stay with him, they’re his kids. Why would he want them to struggle? It’s past time for child support, it should have been done a long time ago.
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If you’re concerned about asking for money ask him to take you to the store for household supplies. My husband and his ex have never done child support they just support each other, she comes over and helps with the house if I’m sick and we help her when she needs help.
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You should absolutely have a child support order for both your, his and your kids well being and security if you are their primary care taker. That’s regardless of anything else. In the meantime, if he can, he should absolutely be helping with whatever you need to take care of your children.
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If your concerned about asking for money, make a list of the things you need and ask if he would get them for you and the kids. Child support is an option but if you have a pretty good routine and teamwork going, maybe leave things as they are 
I don’t know the details of what he helps with so I can’t comment on that really. But be honest and say you need things and would appreciate his help.
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No u cannot ask for money from ur ex that’s not sumthing u can do ur no longer together and it doesn’t matter if it’s for ur children he’s no longer responsible for supporting u just those kids even if u get child support that money is to b solely used for the child not u urself so no bills or rent or ur car note is to b paid with it ur child shouldn’t have to pay for those such things it’s ur job to pay them not the childs and and the money u receive from child support like I said is solely to b used on the child so u need these necessities for ur children and urself and ur down and out maybe its time u let dad take them since he’s got a job and is stable till u can get on ur feet and b a stable parent again cause at this point ur only hurting ur children making them live in rough conditions like ur doing no need in them suffering when they don’t have to send them to dads and get ur shit together!!!
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Ask him to buy the things u need
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Just ask him its for his kids too x im sure he wouldnt want them going without x ask if he kucks off seek legal advice x
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Child support can take a long time to go through. Just ask for help and apply for state benefits- they should push it through if you do all of your paperwork correctly. They also have child care subsidy’s but idk how that works exactly. Contact local churches and food banks.
Definitely get food stamps and medical through the state. But you also need a court order child support that way there will be a set amount he has to pay every month. And if he doesn’t pay you will get it sooner or later my kids(3) are all in their 20s now and I still get payments (arrears) because he didn’t pay when I needed it
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I can’t believe you even ask this question, of course it’s alright to ask him for money, you shouldn’t even have to ask, it’s his responsibility to, people only treat you the way you let them treat you
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You need to apply for child support if there is no court order. I wouldn’t ask him but that’s just me. It’s not his obligation to buy stuff in your house when he buys it for his. With no order. Apply for support now.
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Instead of asking him for money, ask him if he can go buy you the things you need. It’s just a better approach.
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If you apply for medical assistance or monetary assistance through the state, they will go after him for child support. You do need to apply for food stamps. That will feed you all at least. Either way, he’s going to have to pay some kind of regular support. As he should be doing anyway.
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If he does not want to give you the money give him a list of things you need ask him to get them for you
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Of course not. You’re housing, feeding and caring for his children and have fallen on tough times, which can happen to any one of us at anytime, so asking him to help with his children is not wrong at all. Not quite sure why you don’t ask for child support and that is your personal business but hopefully he will take that into consideration and help out a bit until you get back on your feet. I don’t know about your town but there’s help wanted signs on every corner in this town. As a matter of fact, businesses are failing here for lack of being able to find people that actually want to work. Assure him it’s temporary help unless you can work out child support because if you take advantage or fail to keep your end of the deal, he won’t help next time. 
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He should be helping pay for those kids, you aren’t asking for his money to go piss it up the wall on drugs or unnecessary items. It’s for your kids , ask him for help mumma x
Maybe instead of asking for Money directly ask him if he would mind picking up a few items and the list them.
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Yes you can ask for help
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Yes ma’am please communicate with him
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You’ll probably get less if you file for child support as he is helping you twice a month. I personally would not ask for child support if I need something I just ask. Sounds like since he is doing his part I doubt he would have a problem with helping a little more. Its sad that all these ladies on here are saying get child support from a man who is already supporting you and your kid…
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Anyone who thinks marriage is “just a piece of paper” unnecessary before having kids can wind-up in this predicament.
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Why don’t you ask him to buy the things you need for the kids like groceries instead of money
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Ask him for what you need and if he is not willing to help then take him to court for child support.
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Ask him to buy the items you & your child need, he should understand & be willing to help 
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You both need to become parents. Separating is way too easy these days!!
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Maybe you could give him a list of things you’re short on and tell him you hate to ask him for more money when he helps twice a month. Tell him you’re struggling and really need help.
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I think you should sit down and talk to him. Obviously we dont know how much he is already paying but it shows he is at least willing to work with you. Id definitely talk to him first before involving the court system. If he is relucntant or whatever, then I think you should take him to court but at least give him the chance
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It took two to make kids it takes two for supporting them. He should have been paying support from day one.
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Why don’t you just send him a text and say I’m sorry but I really need your help with these items if you can grab them that would be awesome you can’t talk like an adult why have a kid
You need to file for child support so you know what you are getting each month. That way you can budget. He helped make those babies and needs ti step up and help way more.
Definitely child support and have them take it out of his check and pay the friend of the court.
You will get a job maybe not the one you want but a job. But don’t stop the child support then
Talk to him. Let him know your situation is dire.
I’d avoid child support if you have a good relationship with him.
Offer for him to pay directly to your child’s needs ie: school fees (he pays the school), shopping list (he can grab you items you need), power bill (he can pop some money on your account) etc. Most men don’t mind paying for their child when they’re assured the money they outlay is going directly to their child. It frees up your other money to buy what you need.
I do this with my boys dad and now he’ll offer me money without even questioning what I need it for. Mind you, when I don’t need it, I tell him I’m ok this week - which reassures him that I’m not after him for his money 
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You stated he helps maybe twice a month. So, he does give you $ for the children (non court ordered child support). If that’s the case, you’re not doing it alone, he’s helping. The fact that you want to take him to court for child support because YOU don’t work is selfish. What I suggest you do is have him do the children’s laundry every week and bring it to you clean and folded. As far as your clothes, take it to a friends house, family members house, etc. For food, ask him to go food shopping for food for the kids at least once or twice a month.
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