Is there anything wrong with asking your significant other to be home by 9 pm if they have been gone all day (unemployed, not at work)? Is it wrong or controlling of me to ask for him to answer my phone calls and text messages if I text him? I sit at home all day with three kids. I want to spend time with him…but he doesn’t want to be home. Then he ignores my calls and texts. He can go sit at someone else’s house ALL day and do nothing. But when it comes to home, he’s just gone. He doesn’t want to be here. He says I’m controlling when I ask that he be home by 9 pm. But he’s also on unemployment and not working. He didn’t come home till midnight last night. If I go do things with him during the day when my kids are in school, he gets mad because we can’t leave until 720 am, and I HAVE to be back home by 310pm for them to get off the bus. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel like I’m going crazy
Yeah, I’d have already kicked his sorry butt out.
No it’s not wrong. He has responsibilities. I’d kick him to the curve.
Seems like a real keeper
Absolutely not. He is not being a husband and father, he is being irresponsible and acting like a teenager. I would have a serious conversation about your relationship and possibly seek therapy because it sounds like you’ve become a single parent and he’s an extra child.
Throw the whole man away.
I would ask him maybe why he doesn’t want to be home? I agree he should be spending more time with family.
You’re pretty much a single mom, you’re doing everything on your own. You don’t really need him. He’s not even there, nor helping you with the kids. I’d get rid of him. 
Edit; Also, it’s not controlling that you ask him to be back by 9. It’s a respect thing.
Throw him out already
I think you need to ask yourself if you really need that kind of man in your life…
What in the hell is he doing from before 720am - midnight and doesn’t keep in touch! HELL NO !! Move on girl there are many good men out there who would treat u right!
Thats just a respect thing. Especially not answering his phone.
help pull ur weight w ur kids house n relationship or leave us alone. id rather do it by myself instead of stressing over a man.
Sounds like my husband. He had a very tight schedule and I was only allotted 1 to 1.5 hours of time. Checked the call logs. He was cheating.
Honestly, it sounds like you’re the side chick.
A curfew for your spouse should never be a thing. He doesn’t respect you- period.
There’s obviously a lot more to this story, but really it seems he’s lost respect for your lifestyle. Maybe he isn’t interested in being in a family relationship.
I would already have told him since you wanna be gone so much than stay gone than I mean sounds like he doesn’t want to be there and says your controlling that’s an excuse he just using that because he doesn’t want to be there I’d change the locks and put his stuff tf outside I would not keep dealing with that kinda disrespectful crap and being with someone who doesn’t want to be home with me that says he doesn’t wanna be with you
Shit. People will treat you how you allow them to. Why would anyone think this behaviour is ok??? I would never act like this and would never be ok with my husband doing it. You already know the answer…
Girl…kiss his ass goodbye. If he doesn’t wanna be home with his family, he doesn’t deserve you guys. In my opinion, he may have something else going on as well. Good luck
He sounds like a true ahole Seriously.
Divorce his ass. He is playing you
Sounds like he’s cheating.
If you have to question it. You know the answer.
Sounds like he’s cheating
Duuuuude … I have lived this. Just signed my divorce decree last week. 17 years of marriage to a “man child” narcissistic a hole that never once attended an appointment nor fathered his children. Always found other things to do that were more important. Ice fishing, chopping wood, manicuring the lawn, smoking pot, drinking, ect. Always found something more important than his responsibility as a father and husband. I wish I could say it will get better. After years of years of putting up with it, marriage counseling, being up front with my feelings and concerns and physically making myself ill with the stress of it all I finally said enough is enough. I wish you well and the power of courage and strength to get out of this as soon as you can. Sadly, he has already shown you where you and your children stand.
That’s not a husband, that’s an immature man child. Live your life without his input, he will either see what he is missing or take himself out of the equation. Stop wasting your time and your life stressing over his selfish acts
If he is unemployed he should not be gone UNLESS he is looking for jobs, which normally ends at 5pm…
Whew it sounds like there is more to this story! There are obvious signs of shady stuff going on and a lack of boundaries and expectations!
If he’s unemployed, then he has no reason to be gone all day. He should be at home doing something to contribute. Have a come to Jesus meeting and let him know that this changes or he’s gone.
You need to meet someone new… A REAL MAN… Sorry honey
Talk to him. He is your husband. he should help you with your kids especially if he’s not working. He can spend all day with other people than his family? Something is wrong with him that’s why you need to talk. I would be really upset if that is my husband and he’d be out of our lives if he does that!
Just get up early before him and leave the house go pamper yourself and come back when you feel like it.
This guy is a loser I’m sorry is he your children’s father? Even if he isn’t biologically speaking he still took on that role when y’all got married. He isn’t even working so he should be doing everything he can to support you and your family by being there for all of you every day. He has to be up to no good, cheating, drugs something’s not right there.
Rember your WORTH! Kick him to the curb🔥. Sounds like you’re on your own anyways. Seems like a cheating man child. …NOBODY has time to entertain that. Best of Luck👌
Sounds like you just need to kick him to the curb. It’s not like you aren’t raising the kids and caring for the house yourself anyways.
I well pray for you and the kids you have to have talk with him about helping and time with his child and with you too because it two way street not just one way street.l well pray for you guys .
Leave. Let’s be real, it’s not like he’s contributing anything to the relationship anyway if he’s never there. Find yourself someone who actually wants to spend time with you and your kids and will treat you all right instead of like nuisances.
I’d ask for help. Tell him exactly how it is. Also I bet it’s hard with both of you not working and I’m just curious as to why he’s not working?
Wow, talk about a completely selfish ass!!
Not answer your call, he has children at home, what if its an emergency??
He needs to get his damn priorities straight.
A grown man with family does not need to be out all the time hanging out. On occasion everyone needs a break but not all the time.
And the double standard is completely narcissistic.
You may not be able to leave right at this moment girl but you also need to get your own stuff in line to because you should not rely on a man that could care that little about his wife and his children.
No way in hell I would be with a man who wouldn’t work. That alone is strike 1,2,&3. 
More less him running the roads and laying up all day. NOPE 
Get rid of him. SO much stress will come off your shoulders.
Sounds like a disrespectful teenager!! No thanks.
That man is using you
Put his butt out completely
Quit raising a husband . And I find nothing wrong with any of those request and why are you supporting someone unemployed I mean every where is hiring and something is better than nothing . Quit raising a man child and love has nothing to do with this nor does controlling . Love yourself and put heathy boundaries and timelines for him to get a job
get rid of the loser your doing it by yourself anyways !!!
Sounds like he’s just looking for a place to go home to at night. Don’t give him that option. That’s not a family.
Nooooo honey .What you need him for?
That is neither a man nor a father.
It sounds like he is out partying! Why should he be able to stay out of the house till even 9! Doesn’t he spend time with his children? You’re kidding me with this, right? I mean you have got to know you don’t have a marriage or husband! Move on, he obviously has! Sorry
Sounds like he’s cheating
Sounds like he needs to get a job. 
He may be depressed. Trying talking to him. There may be mental health issues. Depression due to not working etc
It’s wrong that you even have to ask.
What the hell is he doing all day? Leaving before 7:20 am and not coming home until midnight???
If you’re gonna be single, be single. If he dont wanna be there then I would tell him don’t come home at all. I get every now and then but not daily. If you want to be a family, then he needs to act like it. If not, why have the extra to worry about, cook for, clean after, etc.
Sounds like he needs to go back home to mummy hes obviously needs a good kick up the ass to grow up i wouldn’t put up with that id tell him he either makes time for his family or dont come home at all
Girl you need to just take care of you and them babies. You don’t need that man and it sounds like he really doesn’t want to be apart of y’alls life. I’m so sorry you’re going through this but it’s better to let go now instead of staying in it longer and getting hurt worse.
If he isn’t working and he is leaving early like he would be going to work and not coming back till midnight don’t u wonder what he is doing I would think he is with someone else I’f he isn’t works and your home with three kids he needs to be there spending time with his family …sounds like to me he don’t wanna be around and if he didn’t he would be gone you deserve better .
And like you said, he doesn’t want to be there, so don’t give him the option to drop in to shower eat and sleep just be gone again as soon as he gets up. You aren’t running a hotel.
You and your kids deserve better.
Lock his ass out next time
Have his stuff on the porch when he arrives!!
Throw him away. That’s not controlling at all
Oh, no no no…
He wouldn’t have the option coming to my home acting like that. Byeeee👋
Divorce his selfish ass.
Pack his shit and send him on his way
It would be a cold day in hell if I allowed that to go on. Absolutely not. That’s so disrespectful. You’re worth more then that.
Wait, neither of you work? How do you raise 3 kids???
He should definitely be home more. Not 24/7 but if he doesn’t even want to be home with his CHILDREN, what’s the point of him having this “home”?
I’d pack his bags & give him his freedom …you’ll be happy for it xxx
It seems like he has a second family tbh like that’s really sketchy. I’d do investigating
Id ask him to leave ? I know it’s easier said then done but don’t beg for anyone! Your worth so much more and so are them baby’s ! 
You should just do you.
Why aren’t you working? Why isn’t he working? You’re not being controlling. He should be helping with his kids if he isn’t working. Leave him. It will never get better. You’re basically a single mom already.
You might as well be single. Take care of your kids and eventually you’ll find someone who loves you and your kids and you won’t have to beg him to be around.
Oh hell no! U may as well be single going on like that!
Leave him… thats crap
Sounds like you need to throw the whole dude out and start over.
Since he’s acting like a single man, go ahead and let him be single
He can go for as long as his wishes. Just not allowed back in your house.
Thats ridiculous. He is supposed to be a parent too.
Your more of a woman than me to put up with it! He’s doing something he don’t want you to know about. Move on, he doesn’t deserve you!
When u point out the problem and it doesn’t change then it is never going too. It shows how it will be when u part ways too ive been here hed have the kids for an hour after 2 or 3 years and take them right home said that wasn’t for him.
Kick his ass out. You’ve got enough on your plate without having to look after some inconsiderate man child.
When he is gone pack his clothes, change the locks and file for divorce…he doesn’t want to be there then make it permanent!!
That’s unacceptable, he’s a parent and has a family. He obviously doesn’t want the responsibility and wants to act like he is single. Tell him if he wants the single life he can have it and he can leave.
are u sure he’s on unemployment and not actually working for real? he may be working and lying that he’s on unemployment to not contribute his entire paycheck to the household. if i were u i’d make sure he is. otherwise he’s doing something sneaky that he doesn’t want u to find out or he simply wants out
My question why you even let him go in first place?!!! Lol
He’s obviously doesn’t want to be a family. He made up his mind. Do you and just take care of those kids. I see a divorce in your future and I’m so very sorry. You will find someone who would love to hang out with you and the kiddos.
Ok so was he like this before like when he was working? Or has he never worked? Reason I ask is because if he wasn’t like this before when he was working he may be struggling with that he is not providing and needs to escape otherwise he’s constantly reminded he’s not supporting you and the fam. This can really breaks a man’s ego if he’s always been like that and never had a job then he’s a loser and doesn’t want a family or be a parent it’s time for a serious sit down chat and find out what’s up
So, first of all, before we all run to say leave, divorce, etc. My question is he depressed? Has he been displaying signs of mental distress? This Covid crap is taking its toll on people in different ways!! When he was working, did he act in the same way, or was it when he became unemployed? You know men get depressed, and don’t know how to show weakness in front of their families!! I would suggest asking him to go to therapy, if no, well maybe it’s time for some real space, and go from there!! Don’t be so quick to assume the worst b/c she only mentioned what’s happening now!! There are always three sides to a story 
Throw the whole man away girl. That’s no good
If I can raise 3 kids on my own without a man!!! So can you!!
Where is he going is the question being gone all day that’s he say she say about being at a friend’s do u actually know seems like he may be seeing someone and then coming home to u
He’s broken. Leave him.
What you allow will continue🤷🏻♀️
Honestly sounds like addiction or affair. He’s not in the marriage anymore hun.
If he wanted to be there , he would!
Ummmm… why isn’t he working ? !
Thats bullshit!! Put your foot down. If he wants to act single, let him be single! No job, he should be dad of the year. It’s not control its family life period. Put him in the road now.