Is It Wrong to Take a Child to a Bar for a Birthday Party? My Husband and I Disagree!

Food & Nutrition
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QUESTION:

"Is it trashy to bring your child to a bar for a birthday party? My husband was upset. I said no to going to his niece’s birthday party because I think it’s wrong to take your baby to a bar.

I am breastfeeding, and I don’t have a pump because my kids broke the one I had, and I think it’s unwise to spend 75 dollars on something you’d use once. Suddenly it’s I don’t like his family. Like really, I say no to one thing here or there but tell my parents no all the time but I’m the bad guy…

Anyway, I told him last night it was wrong to bring a kid into a bar, and he said no, it’s not, and my opinion is wrong. So I’m wondering who agrees with me or if maybe my opinion is wrong, but I think it’s trashy to bring children to a bar.

And to clarify, I do not say no to his sisters all the time. I freaking spent all summer last summer helping them move, paint and remodel their house…and helped his sister with every damn raffle, so saying no occasionally should be allowed, especially when its an event at a bar."

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“I think it’s more of the fact that you called it ‘trashy.’ Just because you don’t agree with it, does not mean you had to use such a rude word to describe it. You could have simply said you didn’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in a bar and left it at that.”

“Yeah no babies don’t belong in a bar. My mom tried telling me that’s it’s fine and I said no it was way trashy and my kid don’t need to be around all that. Bars are loud and obnoxious.”

“It depends on the spot and if it’s reserved for the birthday party which I assume it is… I’ve attended a child’s birthday party at a bar and it was nice clean and kids running all over a whole different atmosphere than when people are partying drinking and a band’s playing. You may be being a little uptight.”

“Ugh. My dad would have raised us in a bar if he could have. I hated spending time there, being fed Shirley temples, and stale popcorn to cover up the wrong of it all. Please don’t take your baby to a bar.”

“Clearly it’s a kids birthday party with family, if you are so worried about pumping you can hand pump, they are not expensive or go for an hour and leave so the pumping isn’t an issue.”

“I don’t know you, honey, but if it does not feel right to you then don’t do it. Mother’s instincts come from God…so follow your heart. Personally, I never took my children to bars because it didn’t FEEL right to me… people need to be more understanding of your decision and hopefully get over it.”

“If it’s strictly a bar, then I wouldn’t. But if it was a bar and grill or restaurant with a bar then I might. However, with covid going on, I don’t take my son anywhere nor do I go out anywhere like that. Besides the point, you’re allowed to not take your children anywhere you don’t feel comfortable taking them and that’s ok, but I wouldn’t call it trashy just because you don’t agree.”

“I wouldn’t want to be in a bar while breastfeeding and taking care of a lil baby. So I wouldn’t go either.”

“I had my baby shower for daughter at a bar and her first birthday party, my family has their Christmas party at said bar as well; there is nothing wrong with it. It’s just a venue.”

“I guess it really depends… I’m in a small town… having kids in the bar isn’t a big deal during the day. they serve food. And if it’s a party at a bar for children then it’s more likely not an issue. However, if it’s at night or when the party crowd comes, or it’s a shady bar then I’d have a problem. But if you feel it’s wrong, then that’s your choice. He might not like or understand it.”

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

27 Likes
2

Depends. There are a couple of bars near me that have a kids area where it’s more like a restaurant with a bar, pool table and pokies away from the kids area or areas that you sit.

I wouldn’t go a bar that doesn’t have a kids area or separate areas away from the bar and pokies.

4 Likes
3

I think it’s more of the fact that you called it “trashy”. Just because you don’t agree with it, does not mean you had to use such a rude word to describe it. You could have simply said you didn’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in a bar and left it at that.

18 Likes
4

Why are you upset about a party in a bar? It may be that they don’t allow kids in - then you have a reason.

5

i would say if there’s other kids at a bday party it’s fine

6

Honestly if you’re not comfortable taking your baby to the bar its a valid reason. :woman_shrugging:t3:

8 Likes
7

The only issue is if people smoke in the bar. If not then it’s fine but then again I’m used to attending kids parties that have more booze then kids so :woman_shrugging:

1 Like
8

You have a right to say no to anything you want to your an adult and are in no way required to do anything you don’t want to… But I was raised in a bar when I was younger my parents didn’t drink but where we lived the bikers did pig roasts and all types of stuff at their bar so we were always there no big deal however when they had party’s where everyone was drunk I wasn’t allowed there for obvious reasons… So I don’t see a problem with it as long as baby is safe and people are not plastered drunk but that’s just my opinion

1 Like
9

Is it a bar and grill or just a bar? We have a place that’s a restaurant during the week but on the weekends it’s just a bar no food. We take our kids there during the week

10

I wouldn’t take my baby out anywhere to begin with lol

7 Likes
11

We had my grandfathers retirement party at a bar. I brought my then 1 year old and my newborn with me. All of my family brought their kids. I would be fairly offended if you called something trash to but I guess to each their own

1 Like
12

Babies and kids aren’t allowed in bars at least not in CA

13

If you dont feel comfortable your husband should respect you and support your decision and choice

1 Like
14

Then stay home but don’t be getting mad because he doesn’t come home at a certain time.

15

I think it also depends on the time of day. My cousin had a baby shower at one.

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16

Apparently she said she is breastfeeding so a bar where it is very loud you have a a very good reason I agerr with you

1 Like
17

Most bars are family oriented until about 9pm. Why is that trashy?
Also we have been takimg my son to sports bars since he was 1, during the day. (Buffalo wild wings).
Seems as though you’re just making excuses to not be around his family.

2 Likes
18

If it’s strictly a bar, then I wouldn’t. But if it was a bar and grill or restaurant with a bar then I might. However, with covid going on, I don’t take my son anywhere nor do I go out to anywhere like that.

Besides the point, you’re allowed to not take your children anywhere you don’t feel comfortable taking them and that’s ok, but I wouldn’t call it trashy just because you don’t agree.

5 Likes
19

I don’t see the issue we brought our son to a Christmas party that was at a bar he slept most of it. Definitely was before all this Covid stuff.

20

I would never bring my kids in a bar who has a birthday party for children in a bar in sorry but that is trashy and completely unacceptable

1 Like
21

I think it’s wrong of you to call it trashy. People bring their kids bars all the time. Calling it trashy is a bit extra. You could of simply said no that your not comfortable doing it but you went the extra mile and called it trashy. It’s for a little get together not to get the kids drunk you can have food exc at a bar.

22

As a bartender I say thank you for not going. Kids are great and all I have 2 but, the bar is for adults.

11 Likes
23

Yeah no babies don’t belong in a bar. My mom tried telling me that’s it’s fine and I said no it was way trashy and my kid don’t need to be around all that. Bars are loud and obnoxious.

5 Likes
24

If it’s just a bar then no I wouldn’t take a baby. If it’s a family restaurant/bar then yes it’s fine. I also think it’s trashy to take kids to a full on bar, IMO that’s not a place for kids. However if I was t comfortable taking the baby I would either find a sitter or tell my husband he was more then welcome to go in his own.

3 Likes
25

I have to agree with you. Its trashy. Especially if your expected to breast feed while there e.c.t sounds like a very uncomfortable situation for you.

2 Likes
26

Honestly your the momma. Its not for any of us to judge. But no I wouldn’t have my child around strangers this day and age especially drinking adults the smallest disagreement could lead to a fight or worse.
If you feel strongly about it stick to it theres no right nor wrong answer.

1 Like
27

During the day I wouldnt think is bad because usually most bars or pubs people take there family to have lunch but evening and nights I wouldn’t take a child

1 Like
28

Depends on what kind of bar. If theres a restaurant and the party is early enough in the day I don’t see an issue with it.
But if it’s a booz a lot kind of time where everyone’s hammered- that dangerous and a baby doesn’t belong there.

29

Some states have laws if under 18 not allow

1 Like
30

If it’s just a bar babies aren’t allowed. Sounds like a lounge or licensed dining. I’d take baby.

31

Depends on what kind of bar it is. I work at a VFW with a banquet hall, that our family and a couple of friends have used for parties that we have gone too and took our kids too. Something like that I would say it’s fine.

32

My aunt had her baby shower at a bar in down town San Francisco… she was good friends with the bar owner so kids were aloud to attend. I was 10 and had a great time.

33

When my dad have kidney failure I was only a couple years old if that and they had a fundraiser at the local VFW and I was there and there was other kids. But the VFW is strictly a bar but on some days it serves food.

34

I mean if they have the whole bar reserved for the party then it wouldn’t be too bad. I would do it. It’s not like they’re drinking. Now if they smoke in the bar I wouldn’t do it.

1 Like
35

I took my daughter to a bar once when she was a toddler maybe 2 it was a bar and grill we all went for pizza it was my best friend his 3 kids and me at around lunch time. We sat on the restaurant side. I dont think that’s bad but I wouldn’t go in the evening hours with a kid

36

I wouldn’t take my son to a bar for a birthday party ! I don’t think you are wrong at all !

37

Ugh. My dad would have raised us in a bar if he could have. I hated spending time there, being fed Shirley temples and stale popcorn to cover up the wrong of it all. Please don’t take your baby to a bar.

5 Likes
38

A bar like a club or a bar like Applebees?

1 Like
39

A bar is for adults. Period full stop. Unless you are of age… no thanks

2 Likes
40

First, why did u bring up breastfeeding and not having a pump when that has nothing to do with bringing a child to a bar?
Second, I would bring my child if it was a family event.

4 Likes
41

I would say it depends. If it is at a bar just because that is somewhere that had space for everyone and other kids will be there and people are not getting wasted and acting stupid, than I would say it’s fine to take the baby. If it is going to be all a bunch of adults getting drunk and you sitting there tending to the baby, than it is not fair for him to expect you to want to do that. And is not a situation for a baby to be in

42

Depends, if it’s a bar that has allowed kids to attend to a certain time with no one drinking until the kids have left then it’s not too bad but if none of the above is guaranteed then I’d say no too. More because of the fact that I don’t want my baby around drinking or drunks

2 Likes
43

There’s a restaurant/bar in the neighboring town we have taken our kids to. We just go early and beat the partying crowd. I mean to each their own, but if they have booked it for a party, I wouldn’t think they would let ppl get “wild”. :woman_shrugging:t3:

1 Like
44

If it’s early I would just bring the baby just to stop by but if it’s later when it gets more rowdy I wouldnt

45

Is it a restaurant with a bar or just a bar?

2 Likes
46

Not at all, as long as it’s a a kids party x

1 Like
47

If it’s like a bar bar and not like a restaurant with a bar then I agree with you :100:.

1 Like
48

I had my baby shower at a bar. :joy: There were kids and adults. It was really fun! Plus it’s completely legal in Wisconsin so no issues. :woman_shrugging:

1 Like
49

I don’t think children or a baby needs to be in a bar, but that’s my opinion. Unless it was a Christmas party for kids for example my husbands old work rented a room in Dave n busters for the kids and Santa clause handed out presents.

1 Like
50

Clearly it’s a kids birthday party with family, if you are so worried about pumping you can hand pump, they are not expensive or go for an hour and leave so the pumping isn’t an issue :woman_shrugging:

4 Likes
51

Sounds like its more over the fact that you guys are fighting about family than location. Same with the breast pump. You can get a 20 dollar pump if thats the case. If you don’t want to go then just don’t go. Its easier to start out with zero reason that a bunch of excuses. Reason: I dont want to.

2 Likes
52

It depends on the spot and if its reserved for the birthday party which I assume it is … I’ve attended a child’s birthday party at a bar and it was nice clean and kids running all over a whole different atmosphere than when ppl are partying drinking and a bands playing… u may be being a little up tight :woman_shrugging:

3 Likes
53

Breastfeeding has nothing to do with the event you are or not attending. I assume you feed your baby every where you go. The location should not matter. Are you talking bar like a club bar or a sports bar? Hooters is a bar but so is chillis

1 Like
54

I wouldn’t really want to take my kids to a bar. I grew up being taken in some and certain days fights would break out and it can be scary for a kid. I watched a guy get a glass broke over his head and another guy stabbed in the shoulder with a broken poolstick. It really depends what type of bar though. Like a regular bar or a restaurant/bar type thing. Still wouldn’t want babies in there though tbh.

55

We are from small town, all we have is a bar. Unless we want to drive over an hour for a party room somewhere else… My baby shower was at the bars party room :rofl::woman_shrugging: I don’t have no issues taking my children into any of our surrounding town bars. As for you still breastfeeding if you don’t feel comfortable feeding child in the bar, go to the bathroom or go sit in the car for a little while to feed. If it’s for a nieces birthday party that’s a family event I’d think is an afternoon event prior to drunks partying so I personally don’t see a problem.

3 Likes
56

Kids don’t belong in a bar

3 Likes
57

Call the sister and tell her you’d rather not take your baby around that many people in a confined space. Your baby, your choice. Don’t tell her it’s trashy, even if it is. Bars are not planned for infants. Suggest lunch somewhere quieter next week, where the niece can be the star.

58

I remember going to a bar as a kid for my grandmas birthday party… and I remember it like it was so much fun… lol the darts, pool table, and the little arcade games :joy: but now as an adult… no I probably wouldn’t bring my baby to the bar for a birthday party. I did however bring my baby to a celebration of life at a bar just recently and she was breastfed as well, but I only stayed for a couple of hours until it was too much for my baby. Then fed her in the car and left !

1 Like
59

I mean if it isn’t like 8 or 9 at night it’s fine. :woman_shrugging:t2:

5 Likes
60

Why doesn’t he just go without you :woozy_face:

61

I dont know you honey but if it does not feel right to you then dont do it. Mothers instincts come from God…so follow your heart. Personally i never took my children to bars because it didnt FEEL right to me…ppl need to be more understanding of your decision and hopefully get over it.

2 Likes
62

Maybe get a sitter for your child and go with the rest of the family!

1 Like
63

Are you in another country besides USA? It is not legal to bring children into bars in USA. And no mom breastfeeding or not- should ever be pressured to leave her baby for any reason unless she really wants or needs to.

64

This depends if it’s a restaurant bar like Applebee’s it is okay but bar for drinking no

1 Like
65

Your child is probably too young to know or remember.

66

I have not gone to family events that were held at bars bc I have the same thought process as you, I think it’s classless and a child has no business being in a bar. On the other end I know someone who takes her child out to a bar all the time which I do not agree with but it’s each persons personal preference. If you feel that strongly then offer to either find a sitter or stay home and tell you husband to go enjoy some time with his family.

67

Some bars sell food. Most places have a separate spot for parties as well. Which is probably this case. I’d go and obviously they won’t serve anyone that doesn’t look of age. They usually card everyone anyways. But still if its a party I dont see a problem but if it gets rowdy with drunks I’d leave then. :woman_shrugging:

1 Like
68

I would have preferred to be in the bar eating table top bar snacks than sitting in the car waiting for my mum lol

2 Likes
69

Like, what kind of bar? Full on bar? Or a restaurant bar like Greene turtle?

A full on bar, absolutely not. It’s not kid friendly.

1 Like
70

Think your husband needs to get his head out of his bum.
A BAR?

Rule number one
You cannot guarantee your child’s safety 100% at/in a bar
You have to consider every other person in there who is under the influence of alcohol.
Can your husband guarantee that child’s 100% safety from any fights altercations. My guess is not
As a woman you would think his female family members would agree with you as possible mothers

71

If it’s for a party - then no. Obviously people know kids will be there. I know people who have had baby showers in bars, where there was kids. I wouldn’t care honestly. Only way I would is if there was heavy smoking allowed in said bar or drunks acting crazy during the day.

72

Why would you bring a child to a bar and are you even allowed too?

73

He’s gaslighting you. He’s a dick. Tell him to no.

74

Sometimes Bars have the best good food. So I’m going to say no , it’s not trashy

75

It’s just not a place for a kid. Idk why your husband would even consider bringing him.

76

I had my baby shower for daughter at a bar and her first birthday party, my family has their Christmas party at said bar as well there is nothing wrong with it. It’s just venue.

2 Likes
77

I wouldn’t take my baby anywhere with Covidiots right now. But in olden days (last year😆) ,I’ve gone to a few parties in bars, when I tended bar years ago we had Christmas parties that families came to. It’s against the law for kids to sit at the bar ever in my state. They can sit at a table in the bar with a parent until 8pm. If there’s a separate dining area they can stay til 10-11 when that section closes. Private parties all bets are off. Also are we talking about a dive bar or Applebee’s? 2pm or 9pm ? are other children coming? Is it a separate room? But ultimately do you.

1 Like
78

I dont see anything wrong with bring a child to a bar. Im with the husband. I have took both of my kids to a bar before. Go and have fun.

3 Likes
79

I dont think its wrong to take a kid to a bar but with that being said its your kid and you are free to make the choice not to take your kid to a bar, your husband can go alone. I would see if you where telling him he couldn’t go that would be different

80

Nope anything could happen hell one could grab a cup by mistake without u knowing I’d keep them home

81

Most bars serve food and are kid friendly until usually about 9 or 10 depending on where you are

1 Like
82

My husband said “wtf as a father I wouldn’t do that or even consider it” i agree with him.

83

People go to ocharleys and Hooters for party’s all the time. They serve alcohol… Doesn’t mean your kids gotta drink it.

2 Likes
84

Santa and the Easter bunny came to our legion… it was our only bar in our village… every event was held there :sweat_smile::sweat_smile: we attended them all

1 Like
85

Can he go on his own and you/ the kids can have a movie night at home or something?

86

Why call it a bar. Because no legit bar would host a child’s birthday party. Smdh

1 Like
87

Kids don’t belong in bars period

1 Like
88

Where I live kids can be in bars until 9pm. If there is a separate room for the birthday party than I see no problem. My baby shower was at a bar but they had a banquet room that was only used parties.

1 Like
89

I don’t think it matters what others think or have to say. It’s up to you at the end of the day. Your the parent if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it

90

Sports bar and grills, are very legal lol

91

My opinion. I wouldn’t. I would be be comfortable with it but it’s ultimately your decision. There is no right or wrong here. If the bar allows it and your comfortable with it then sure. If you aren’t, don’t cave just because your husband tells you to.

92

I’ve taken my kids into a bar :woman_shrugging: they’ve even sat at the bar… although our town is small, everyone knows everyone. I’ve taken my kids when MY friend had her bday there, we ordered food and sat at a table to the side. But I wouldn’t take my kids if we were going to go drink.

93

Well there is usually drinking and smoking going on in most bars. So no I would not want my kids exposed to that. we have had a barbecue Or get together at home where there might have been some beer and some responsible drinking but you can’t guarantee that at a bar with strangers.
Saying you don’t like his family and getting all mad is gas lighting and childish and he needs to be an adult and express his opinions Without trying to gaslight you and trying to make you feel guilty to get his way.

94

We always went to the bar for dinner with my parents and the rest of the softball team when we were younger. Just took my son to a bar and grill in Montana last month too for dinner. As long as there isn’t a ton of people getting drunk and partying and it’s a low key and kid friendly environment I don’t think it’s a big deal.

1 Like
95

Is it a restaurant with a bar, or just a bar? That makes a big difference to me. Taking kids to (for example) a dive bar is completely different than taking them to (again, for example) an Applebees.

2 Likes
96

I work in the bar/restaurant industry, I held my baby shower at a bar that the company I work for owns. I also attended a work event at one of the company bars while on maternity leave. Took my baby to it and even breastfed during. I don’t think it’s trashy depending on the setting and what it’s for.

1 Like
97

I mean, as a mom I wouldnt bring my child to a bar either. BUT I can tell you that I did often go to the bar with my mom as a small child. The bars in my area (membership bars) are set up so kids can go to the bar with their parents until 5 and they do not sell alcohol to those individuals who have kids in tow. They have arcades set up for this reason and often hold events, like bbqs or pig roasts that are kid friendly. I would check more into it and see if that is the case here. If it is, theres really no harm done. But like I said, I wouldnt bring my kids :woman_shrugging:

98

I feel there is some info missing

1 Like
99

I work at a bar. Had my baby shower there this weekend and my son and tons of kids were there.
I wouldn’t bring a kid to the bar to get plastered, but an event, sure!

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100

First off covid…Bars…Kids equals I’m Noo

1 Like