This man and I had a child and separated a year later because we just cannot agree on anything. Our son is now ten years old, and I had custody of him up until he was eight years old. I never had financial support from the father during those years that I had him and would be told to go f** myself whenever I asked for money… eventually, I took him to court but ended up losing my son because the father all of a sudden cared for him and showered him with gifts and even pets the whole year we were going through court. In the end, my son said he wanted to be with his dad, and so his wish was granted… he did not and still does not understand that his father was just trying to protect his money… anyway fast forward to today, I pay child support, and I haven’t seen my son since January… we have been looking forward to seeing each other again in the summer, but his father said he would not give any support again for the two and half months that I will have my son. Plus, he expects me to keep paying him child support while I have my son with me. We live thousands of KMs away from each other… I cannot afford to feed another human being in my current situation. And the father refuses to even help with 100$ a month for our son’s groceries. I pay 260$ a month for child support… Am I wrong to tell him that I cannot have our son for the summer anymore because he refuses to give us some extra money for our son’s groceries? I have been crying a lot because I was looking forward to seeing my oldest son, I am expected to give birth at the end of this month too, so it was going to be a special moment for us… I just cannot afford it, and it breaks my heart so much
You need to bring this up to the court, that you want to keep your child support payment for the months your son is with you
What Michelle said so unfair to ur son
You need to talk to the courts they will make the child support stop while he is in your care! And possibly make the father pay during that time! Maybe approach your ex and tell him you are just asking not to pay during the time you have him and you can take it to court and he could potentially end up paying you his choice if his money is that important to him he will cave but get it in writing so he doesn’t go after you for not paying
Sounds like his better off with his dad any way …
Never have I heard of child support stopping during scheduled visitations. I always received child support year round even when he had a month of visitation and when he had custody I still had to pay even when I had child for a month. I would not deny visitation just because you have to still pay support.
Hate to say this but if you can’t afford the one you have, why are you having more?
Why you have a kid you can’t afford like wtfff hes better off with the dad
Seriously all you are worried about is money. Go get food stamps while you have him. You are refusing your time with your child over money pick up a extra job till you get your son to supplement the extra food cost. I guess i took this the wrong way but maybe you should let the dad keep him.
What you need to do is petition court to reimburse you the FULL cs for the time your son will stay with you or stop cs for those months.
Ok im so not trying to be mean but as a single mom of 3 with never having had help. If u cant afford to feed your oldest why are you having another child? I feel like no one should turn there child away but thats just me
Sounds like its all about money with you and unfortunately your son has to pay the price. Go to a local food pantry to get food or eat alittle less so there’s enough for everyone. I would NEVER give up time with my children. Find away around it…single parents go through harder times than what you are and still make it work.
If you are unable to feed him for the summer it’s probably better for him to stay with Dad. Maybe over Xmas you will be more situated and he can come.
That’s crazy, you can’t afford to feed him but your having another one!!! I would take my son, because I want to be with him, I’ll figure it out!!! My grandmother always said “ From two plates of food you can always make three, give him half of Yours!!! Maybe the kid is better off with his dad!!!
Ok so first of all a lot of ppl are being hurtful when someone needs cheering up, not ok. Shit happens and times get tough… Why dont u have custody of him anymore? Can u go to wic or foodstamps? This could be used against you in the future. Have u talked to the father of the new baby? It is that season where a lot of places are hiring for workers to do outside jobs like roofs, lawns and other things
Have you tried applying for food stamps? You can apply with your son on it while he’s with you and then update when he goes back to dad’s. If you get denied or even if you don’t you can check your area for food pantries that can help with food as well. Also with him being a kid you can buy cheap foods to keep him fed. Noodles, spaghettios, canned veggies, hot dogs, cereal, milk, bread, eggs, pancake mix, juice…all very inexpensive items that you can buy to keep him fed. Also, Idk where you are but in my area over the summer schools offer free breakfast and lunch for kids that you can go and get no questions asked. Some of them even send bags of food home for the weekends too. He’s not looking for gourmet meals…just time with mom which he needs. If there is a will there is a way!! Look into your options in your area. If you want to pm me with your location I’ll even help you look. No judgment at all here and I won’t break your anonymous status in this group. Hope this helps!
She was taking care of said kid for 8 yrs. Father made a move like some I know so he didn’t have to pay support. Show he could provide a better living situation. Understandable and know that didn’t make you a bad parent. Fast forward two years and you’re in a financial bind which Happens to most. Nothing wrong with saying hey this summer due to the new baby and financial situation. We may have to push back his summer visit. Don’t feel bad it’s happen. Now if he truly wants a summer free moment. Like I did with mine years back. He’ll tell you don’t worry about sending the payments. Unless it has to go through the child support office. You will unfortunately have to pay.
Child support isn’t play money to the other parent in most cases. It’s to pay the other parents portion of rent, utilities, and food to keep the child living as close to what it would be like in a two parent household as possible. The father may not be able to spare the money. My child support was never stopped during the 4 weeks in summer I didn’t have them but we did load bags up with snacks/lunches they liked so I knew they had foods to eat and sent money so they could take their dad,stepmom and two step brothers out to eat or a movie each week so they would have a good time and remember their summers.
Contact court love, I get what ur saying. Btw judgey ppl on here stfu she’s heart broken and going through a hard time if you can’t keep the dickish comments to yourself get off Facebook. She feels bad enough you don’t need to help…
Have you said to dad that if he’s staying with you for the summer you’ll need that money and do you have to pay it cos he’s not there ? Also if you can afford to have another child maybe you can actually afford to have your son for a while ? And the food you do have share it during the war people had ration books …they shared what they had …ive been in situations where I’ve been broke with 2 kids we made do and shared
See if the domestics can put the month of pay in arrears n u pay back 20 or so a month till caught up with the 260go to a conference at domestics
I’m absolutely speechless…
Stop paying him Child Support & go back to Court, money hungry person. What’s good for him is good for you too, let’s see what the shoe is like on the other foot! Good luck 
What about back pay? Was there any mention about how much support he paid you before you took him to court?
You knew this before he came to stay with you. Figure it out.
S/n: I can’t believe so many of you are saying rude and hurtful things. We don’t know this woman or her situation really to pass judgment nor is she asking you to personally fund her. Would it really kill us to try to help or try to be uplifting? Or if you just don’t have anything nice to say to just keep scrolling? Life is hard enough no need to make it that much harder or make her feel worse!
You Do Not Pay Child Support if Children Are With You
To the original poster .
Your concerm here needs to be for your child & how he will feel if you tell him that he cannot come to you . Particularly as you are about to have another child .He could feel that he is being replaced .
You are no kind of mother in my eyes…
If you don’t want people to comment or voice their opinions…good or bad…don’t put your personal business on facebook. Go to an attorney and handle it privately.
Maybe check churches for food boxes.
Something else going on here. Kids don’t get to decide which parent they get to live with… it’s up to the court.
I am not nor have I ever been in that kind of situation so I hate to be judge mental but I don’t understand if you can’t afford to feed the one child you already have. Why get pregnant with another one?! 
And further more I feel really bad for your son because while I don’t know the whole story, from the amount you’ve shared, it seems that both his parents have their own agenda and their own interest and neither is putting his needs and feelings above their own. His well being and happiness should be both of ya’ all’s priority.
People feeling shame and guilt for the already don’t need it fed more not even for the minute before you opened your mouths did you take into the consideration wgst if you woke up one day and your child choose dad because of the materials let alone ask advice in regards to providing and not being able to fit her own child because trying to do right by the eyes of the court how ignorant and shame on all of you
Congratulations on your second blessing don’t stop
Reaching out here sounds to me you always tried your best for the best interest of your son your best answers will come 
pray momma do you have a town or city page that you coukd ask for some donations or have a woman’s shelter put a post I mean there coukd be ways to have your son without the money however the courts should apply to your situation materials will fade memories last a life time being a mom who knows the struggle is real we will always find a way for our babies stay strong momma 
If the rules were reversed he would have to continue to pay child support during the months he has him. The money is to maintain the standard of living as well as provide basic needs. You have to pay even if you have your son with you. If you can’t afford it maybe try to work something out like 2 weeks at the beginning and 2 weeks at the end. If you are having such a hard time maybe you should put off having anymore until you are in a better financial situation only because your first born should not suffer.
Finances should never b an issue with time with a child
I know there local food banks
The child needs ur time and love
Child support doesnt stop during visitation. You make things work no matter if the child is in your home full time or only some of the time. If the situation was flipped and you had custody and the dad paid support he would still be ordered to pay when he had him.
Well since you asked for opinions here’s mine, so you turn your son away for your visit because you can’t afford to feed him for the summer? But I bet you’re eating? That sounds absurd! You sound ABSURD! U sound like you have an excuse for everything! I think your just pissed about MONEY! God forbid if you pay a little extra to FEED YOUR SON! You’re pissed bc u pay 260 a month and when he comes with you, you have to feed him! But you’re having another baby! Hmmm… Sad thing is your pushing your son away over money that u feel you shouldn’t have to pay! 
Ps. You have your opinion and I have mine PERIOD
Something is wrong here. Because courts don’t let kids pick what parent at such a young age. If you haven’t seen your son since January you should overwhelmed with joy to have him for 2 1/2 months. $260 a month is nothing for child support. It is just sad that you claim you can’t afford to support your son for 2 1/2 months, but you can have another baby that will be with you 365 days a year.(diapers, formula) I am just at a loss. Something is really wrong mom’s don’t lose custody that easy.
Wow !!! Are you serious? Is he really your own son ?
Food banks period! I would eat popcorn and ramen if it meant I could see my child!
No after a certain age the child is allowed to choose!
I’d take him back to court & get all that settled in court.
You are supposed to get a 50% abatement during extended visits. Just pay half. Take your son and then have a magical summer! He probably wants to come home…then, sock it to that prick!
Maybe go back to court for visitation or joint custody then no one pays child support.
What about the father of the baby your about to have? Can he help with food for a couple months? Smh
Wow I was reading and my heart shrunk… what a miserable man…
God I can’t believe it. I’m so sorry about your situation I don’t know you, but I can feel your pain
I’m praying for you and your kids!
Small minded ppl ere, huny i hear u, so not listen to all these idiot ppl… Wow some of u arnt even a parent keep ya mouth shut fuck, fb talk some ral shit
Don’t talk finances with an ex=ever!: speak to child support agency instead. They will work it out. Ie. If the child is not in ex’s care for that time= he gets none…
Sounds like you only want the kid if money comes with him. If it’s only for a few months make some sacrifices to keep him. Sounds like you’re just bitter for having to pay child support
Sorry if you can’t afford to feed your first kid you shouldn’t be having more.
Child support goes off the amount of time spent between the two parents that is why you pay 260 and not more. You don’t have custody you are getting visitation you are not going to get child support for two months and you will be lucky to keep your visits if this end up back in court. I’m not sure about where you live but here children don’t get to decide where they live at that age. I feel like there is more to this story than what is being told.
Some folks can be so judgmental and rude about a situation they arent even in and dont even know the whole story on. I pray it all works out for you. I’m a mom and I couldn’t imagine not being able to see my child. Prayers for you!!!
apply for link. you may get help with a child in the house.
If you take your son for the summer he will have to pay you get ahold of child support and talk to them about it. Don’t talk to your ex about it.
Girl, get your baby back. Try to sign up for food stamps or wic. That will help a little bit. I know it’s hard. But if you dont get your baby back, the daddy could use that against you. I’ve been down the custody battle road and trust me it ain’t easy. But I won. Dont let your baby decide who he wants to live with. That’s your decision, you’re his momma. Only you know what’s best for him. And dont let the dad know you can’t afford to take care of your baby. He really could use that against you. Talk to the police where you live to find out the laws. I pray you get through this. Stay strong, your babies need you.
Chin up, money, cool toys and pets can not win a kids heart they put on a good show but if your boy hasn’t figured it out by now he soon will. Going through the same thing but my son chooses me over his dad and his father’s money. Drives his dad mad knowing our boy would rather be broke and with me instead of all that dough
You obviously don’t want him for a visit and are looking for people to help you ease your conscious. You had 6 months to save up a little money for your visit and didn’t. Also your already feeding yourself, a man, and a newborn baby on the way. It takes way more effort than you are willing to pay. I’ve gone without food for my kids to eat so I can say that there is something wrong here!!
If you are KM’s apart what country are you in? Judges piss me off because they say seeing the child and child support are separate things. You can fight for support, but unless you have it garnished from wages you’re fucked and even if he doesn’t pay he’s allowed to see the kid. And yet it sounds like he expects you to pay when you can’t see him. You talk about what you can’t afford then why in the hell are you having another child?
No! My sons leave at the end of the both and will be gone until a week before school starts! This mama needs a BREAK!
Tell his dad to keep him but make sure you explain to your son what is going on and why, 10 is more than old enough to be honest with.
As a mother you find a way and do whatever it takes to see your child, especially if the other parent ends up with full custody. 
Get on foodshare for the months he’s with you.
Oh wow it sounds like a child is just a bill
Probably shouldnt have another one if u cant feed one extra part time. JS
Something doesn’t sound right here !!!
I don’t buy my kids’ food when they go to their dad’s house. That’s not a thing. Stop being ridiculous and petty and figure out a way to see your son. If you can’t make it work, you don’t want it and I feel bad for that little boy.
Im gonna sound real judgey for a second, but that is NOT a good enough reason to not keep your kid for the summer. Maybe you can skip paying him your support for that time, and then use that money for your kid, but there’s no good reason to tell the custodial parent of your child that you can’t take them if they can’t give you money. How are you gonna afford to support a newborn if you’re saying you don’t have the money to feed the one you already have? I dont pay for my kid’s food at his house or give their dad child support when they go visit him; it doesn’t work like that.
You don’t want your son? I’m so confused!! Over $100/month 
… I’m sorry but I can’t give advice on this because it wouldn’t be kind.
You might be able to go to court and have child support suspended for the time you have your child
My goodness, I’d definitely look into the guidelines I don’t believe you’d have to pay child support during the months you have him over the summer you need to look into that.
So, not being able to afford to feed the child makes it definitely sound like you can’t care for him.
Man, I’d whore myself out for my kids if I had to. Shit like this amazes me. Truly.
Umm… no he shouldn’t give you anything. I had a custody battle with my ex and he won bc he had more money … I get my son every summer (I pay to drive or fly him out ) then either Christmas or spring break which his dad pays for … regardless who has him I have to pay child support and while I think it’s silly I have to pay when hes with me I do it anyway bc my son is worth it.
Don’t give up, see if you can get help and definitely try to have your time with your son…
You don’t just lose custody like that. Something is wrong with this story.
You aren’t concerned about the time you’re gunna spend with your child at all? It’s all about money…
it’s not that expensive to feed a 10 year old. At least you aren’t buying diapers & formula. if you couldn’t afford a child then you shouldn’t have had one. Period. His father already has him all year long. 2 months should be cake for you. Step up & be a mother.
I usually just keep scrolling but at the end of the day there’s nothing that could ever keep me from my son, I’m not the worlds best mom by any means but nothing comes before my child, nothing could stand between me and my baby PERIOD. You both need to grow the fuck up and be better parents it’s about your kid NOT YOU
If you truly can’t afford it than yes let dad keep him but don’t blame dad. As a mom I would do anything in my power to have my babies. Also it is great that you pay child support but he lives with dad and I promise dad is spending more per month to raise that child than $260 and you expect him to pay for your son to be with you for 2 months after not seeing him for months
Do what is best for your son even if that means not seeing you I guess 
call child support and stop it for the summer or yo and have it modified. dony break a custody agreement cause u cant afford to have ur kid cause cs. u have him the whole summer u shouldn bd paying. call n see whst they can fo
That’s up To u if I rather give up time seeing ur kid then find a way to feed him since u have the money 2 have a 2nd child …
You cant afford to feed your 10yo son, but you’re about to give birth?! WOW! This post is the saddest thing I have EVER read. Sounds as if hes better off with his dad.
Did you ever think that maybe your sons father is tired of your shit! By the sound of it so is your son if he chose his dad over you! Your son is probably better off without you and hearing how much he is costing you! Enjoy the new baby
You should be having more kids if you cant afford to feed your son during the summer…
He is a child, not a paycheck!!! Shame on both of you!!!
It’s factored into the child support agreement already… if you refuse, you could take you for more money.
That’s how custody goes.
If you can’t afford to feed your son for 2 months out of the year, you probably shouldn’t have more kids
Shouldnt of gotten pregnant like EVERRRR
You’re his mother. You figure it out. I would never not want my child home with me.
I would never refuse my kids if I were in this situation because of money. Where there’s a will there’s a way. I was a single mom to 5 kids and they always had food in their mouths and clothes to wear. If you say you can’t afford him for the summer then sounds like the right person has custody and how are you going to support your baby for 18 years if you can’t do a couple of months with the other.
Say what? I just cant even. As a mom you do what you have to to be a mom. He’s 10 he needs you.
You guys are so mean!! Honey I know where you’re sitting but don’t give that time up. Fight for your baby. See if you can get it suspended when he’s with you. Or simply don’t pay and use the money for groceries. I’m not judging you in any way and neither should anyone else no one knows what kind of hand you’ve been dealt. I pray for you.
If you can’t afford to feed the kids you have why have another ?
There are food pantry’s that would give you food to help you feed him. & Tbh, it’s not that hard to feed a 10 year old. If you really want to see your child, then see your child. Jesus.
Really wtf!. You let your son go. Now you dont want him cause u dont get support. Why did you even have a kid. Just wow. You sound like a money hungry women. I’ve never got child support, he owes over 45,000. I would never ever over my dead body let my son go ! You need STOP having kids! Stop lying! This poor child. You gave away a child only to have others you will keep unless you wont get child support. Then they will go to right? There is way more to it than just this. Cause you can get food help. Which you probably already do. This is an excuse not to parent. You submit your dates to the court to credit your account. Just kill me if I didnt see my kid for 6 months. but I can just keep having more and take care of the others and have another wtf.
You’re telling me you can’t afford $250 for food for the entire summer??? You haven’t seen him since January…it’s now June…5 months later! Why have you not gotten a 2nd job to save up for when he’s with you??? I think you’re just using an excuse to not have to deal with the responsibility of taking care of your own child. No one just “loses custody” of their child for no reason. Something doesn’t make sense here and from your post, I’m willing to bet you decided you were done taking care of your child and gave him up.
Definitely have the agreement modified or work something else out, I’d feel very uncomfortable with that!
Hmmm…something fishy about this story.
There are plenty of organizations that can help with food. Also I would take Daddio back to court and have rhe court tell him that he does not get child support on the months that you have him. Meanwhile there are also plenty of probono attorneys to get better terms for your custody.
I feel for you, but honestly.you are having another child but can’t feed your oldest child. Really?