I can’t wrap my head around this. The whole story seems off. I’m only thinking about how your son is going to feel. He’s going to resent the new baby, because basically you’re choosing it over him. That’s how he’s going to see it, he’s a kid. Also, I agree with everyone saying how are you going to afford a new baby but can’t afford your own son for a couple of months? That makes no sense. Absolutely NOTHING would stop me from seeing my kid!
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I mean it isn’t hard, call the child support office and show proof you will have him they will pause your child support and have him pay.
It’s so sad to see a mom going through this. You need to talk to the judge bc by law you are not responsible for child support when you child is with you for the summer. They more then likely won’t make him pay but you would have that money to help you feed him during the summer months that he is with you
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Ok soooo you can’t afford to feed your oldest child for just the summer butttt you’re expecting another child?! Something’s just not right here
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Sorry but you sound like a POS mom.
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You and YOUR NEW FAMILY and your oldest kid can eat sandwiches for 2 months !!! I can not fathom loseing my kid to his dad much less never seeing my son !!! And I would do ANYTHING to be able to see my son!!! Idk why you wouldnt figure out budget friendly meals to feed eveyone during your sons visit??? As for doing things go to freinds house , swimming pools , parks … make memories with your son before hes to old to make memories !!
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So you can’t afford to feed your first born but yet you can have another baby to feed?
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Wait what!? You dont have your son for most of the year but have him this summer and cant put away extra groceries in the weeks leading up to support your son? How are you going to feed another child?
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Did Anyone really "read"this and think before Judging this woman?? I have seen some very unfair things happen to good moms (and dads) in courts… He who has the Best lawyer wins! Has Nothing to do with Fairness or whose a good parent! I used to work for an Attorney and judge,… saw a lot of cases go sideways when the other party plays dirty. Tho its supposed to be basef on facts, and whats best for the child…thats not always the outcome. This woman states clearly she supported the child for 8yrs without help from the father, then when she tried through the courts, she got screwed… Ive seen it happen… doesnt mean shes a bad mom. Obviously theres more to the story, … but the criticism and Assumptions displayed in these comments are shameful and possibly without merit. As women, we should lift each other up! Not judge, and put another down.
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Really… you haven’t seen your son and now you come up with this sorry ass excuse.Thats bs you know it.You knew months ago that you would have him for the summer and you didn’t think to prepare for that.Truth is your having a new baby and would rather not deal with your ex even if that means you won’t see your son.Shame on you.
This sounds like a troll post keep your son for the summer 
Im curious where you live…it is very hard, as a mother, to lose custody of your kids here in texas. But i do know…my kids dad wasnt given a break on child support when my son was with him. The reasoning is that the $is still required to maintain the home the kid is coming back to
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It sounds like the father is trying to make things difficult for you so you can’t get him. Mothers always find a way! Do whatever you have to do to get your son. You could apply for food stamps for the time he’s with you. There is also a program out there for food stamps for covid/pandemic assistance specifically for children that you could apply for. Summer feeding programs for kids and adults. There are food banks, churches, and agencies that are still doing drives weekly and monthly. Schools may still be offering take home food throughout the summer. Don’t give up!
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I dont understand how he is not paying retroactive child support. You need a new lawyer girl
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You can’t afford to feed another human but you’re about to have another baby. If you can’t even afford to spend time with the kid you already have why do that?? Find a way! When your son is with you YOU are supposed to provide for him. Suck it up and make sure your son knows he’s worth the struggle. Not an inconvenience for you to complain about.
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Wow, these comments. Moms tearing moms down.
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Dragging this woman like this is horrific! We are in the middle of a global pandemic.People been outof work for months.Not everyone has family to help them out.Food banks have extremely limited stock at this time. Sheeeesh…Send this woman some love and light and maybe even cash app her a little something…she is already stressed being pregnant during this time…Have some kind of sympathy.
Sending this woman prayers and big hugs.Do NOT stress too much Momma.It may seem hopeless but God got y’all.
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By law you do not pay while the child is in your care. Its thats simple.
For 2.5 months of summer the money you would pay stays with your son. If in your house you use that money to feed him. Not send it to the dad for no reason
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Wtf? Your wrong. Fuck the dad, your wrong to tell your SON you won’t see him over a hundred dollars. There must be a lot more to this than we know but if your having another baby but can’t see your son for the summer, then your in a bad position period. I’d sell my ass for a hundred dollars, I’d steal food if I had to, I’d do legit criminal shit to have my kid with me if he lived thousands of miles away. Sounds like you don’t really want the burden but are rationalizing and you sound terrible to be honest.
Definitely need new lawyer make sure this starighten out…something sound isnt right
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I feel like you should try to do everything to see your son. They grow up so fast and the older they get the more they start understanding the situation how it really is. As mom’s we need to find ways to make it work for the babys. They just grow to fast and if you can have a summer with him please take it. Make rice and beans. Pastas go to food banks, whatever and know there is always help for you if you really want to see him.
Wow… like I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but honestly? Do you even WANT to see your son for the summer is the real question. Mom’s make shit work, no matter what, your kid comes first. Money or no money. Priorities lady.
Sounds like money is more important to you than your child. Pathetic excuse for a parent!!!
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Your son went to his dad’s cause your too selfish to feed “another human being” . He’s your Damn child!!! Grow up!
Anyone else’s mind was blown by reading this, good lawyer or not?!? I’d work as many jobs as possible to ensure my kid had what they needed to survive! Seriously, if you can not find a way to survive feeding your son for a few months, just sign over your rights to his father who can and send this post along with it to the judge. The fact that you are having another kid is even more disturbing. He will see he wasn’t worth your time, love and you didn’t actually think he was worth doing whatever it took to see him eat, survive and feel loved for a few months out of the year 
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Wow this is sick and sad… 
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So your son is basically walking money. Got it. Maybe you shouldn’t see him then. You have so many problems and this story doesn’t add up. There’s NO way the dad just buys gifts and gets custody, the child doesn’t get to decide who they live with in court. The judge will 9 times out of 10 keep the child with the mother unless she is unfit and that seems to be what this is. …and you’re having another, just to turn around and mentally fuck them up too. Girl bye.
If you pay child support yourself and it doesn’t come out of your check then don’t pay during the summer months or only pay $10. Child support most likely won’t come after you if you’re paying SOMETHING. And this summer go back to court (request a modification) and tell them there’s no reason for you to pay when you have your son the whole summer. Even if you get your modification and a court date 3 months later, ask the judge to remove those summer payments so you won’t be considered behind any longer.
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You are his mother. Regardless of what the dad does your role doesn’t stop. It sucks so bad. He sounds shitty. But you unfortunately have to just step up even more
As a mother you have to put your kid first and then worry about the rest. Like everyone else said, you have all these time to save money for the summer or any other emergency that life could throw out at you. There has to be a reason why the father has the custody of your son and you are just not saying that. There are times when my family is in a hard situation but we make it work, and we do it for the kids. Honestly is better if the kid stays with the father because at least he will know he can count with a responsible adult in his life.
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1st off im so sorry he chose to go live with his dad how devastating that nust have been for you!! 2nd id get another lawyer to seenifnwhile hes with you maybe the child support can be suspended or something??
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Sounds like you can’t afford the child support and using your son as the excuse. I would get my son and let his father think I was going to pay him. Then I would not pay him those 2 months. I’ll take care of the legal things with his dad after the summer. You have to make sure you get your boy dont give up. It seems easier to just give up but praying you will find the strength to fight for your son. Sorry that we all seem harsh on this forum but I believe the moms on here just want you to reevaluate your decisions and not make them money driven. You will make it work just have faith. Take care.
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I don’t see how you lost full custody after having your child after so many years unless you was found unfit. And yes you are wrong, if you truly wanted to spend time with your son money would not stop you. It sounds like you are telling your child you don’t have time for him because his dad won’t help you for a couple of months… This question really blows my mind
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This is such a hard one. Does he really insist you oh him child support for the summer if the child is going to be with you? That one seems odd to me. I hope things work out so you can see your son
Just get your son and don’t pay for those months he is there and when or if he takes you to court explain it was while your son was with you
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Food pantries/food bank. Turn every stone to make it possible to see him. You will regret it if you don’t try everything possible. Can you cut something back just for the summer? Eating out, any memberships to cancel, anything extra. If you smoke, stop smoking. Try for your babe.
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Do you not get money to take care of your child🤷🏻♀️
There is something major missing from this little story…
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If you really want to see your eldest a mother always finds a way. Not an attack but just something I have done, I’ve gone to insane ends to make my children happy.
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I feel bad for the kid 
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That child is young and may look at it like my mom can afford another baby can’t afford me. Money isn’t everything. There is ways to make it work. See a food bank if needs to be. I would make sure I see my kid and make it work.
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Sounds like u have given up on ur son and just want to focus on the new baby. . .
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I would walk on hot coal to feed my son
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$260 a month for a child ? You’re getting off easy 
. If he has custody of him then you have to pay regardless if he is with you or not . You sound selfish I’m sorry , as a mother you should find a way to make it work .
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It is not your child’s fault that you cannot afford to feed. How are you planning on paying for the new baby as well? Refusing to care for your child because the dad won’t pay you $100 a month is absurd. Call me judgy but did you ever think of how that makes your son feel?! He is 10 and you haven’t seen him since January…you had custody of him and lost it? Why? The courts do not just take a child from their mother for no reason at all. Also, you not taking your son could remove you from all parental rights if he decides to take you to court again. Do everything you can to feed him…he is not a burden nor a paycheck. He is a child that needs his mother. You will damage him further by making the decision to not see him. And when the new baby comes he will not understand why you chose to care for that child and not him. I couldn’t imagine going 5 months without seeing my kids…ever!
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This made me irritated to read.
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Wow!! There are some negative ass people on this post🙄
This poor little boy.
And you are bringing another child into this situation.
Always the children get hurt while the adults fight over money…sickening.
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why don’t you fight the support.
I can’t feed my child but I’m pregnant 
me playing the smallest violin in the background
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All my other thoughts aside (because they are harsh) what about the boys emotional state? I feel for this little boy and I really hope he is or will have a happy life. This may be stressful for you but I gurantee its more stressful (hurtful) for the boy.
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You are the mother. It’s your responsibility to work it out. Your son will be very upset if you don’t take him for the summer. He deserves time with his mother. He’s already suffered enough from your actions. You are only talking about groceries for 2 to 3 months. Apply for food stamps, borrow 200.00 to 300.00 dollars, coupon, shop frugal etc. Don’t make stupid excuses not to have him. I’m shocked you are even considering not having him for the summer.
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I would let the son know why dad can buy every thing with the support payments you send.
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That’s the way it works for dads so why should it be different for moms? I have my kids during the summer and still pay child support. Sorry but it goes both ways, moms don’t get to pick and choose when they pay child support and neither do dads
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Congratulations on your pregnancy. And please dont read some of these comments as some of them are awful. So Your split in 2 and u owned up to your problems takes alot to ask for help. Your son will be delighted to see you and he will even be more excited to see the new born it will be special. Your son should understand that’s not about money and going out it’s about family and love . And I know alot of people over in the uk normally have the decency to stop having the payments whilst the child is in the other parents home for a long period of time. I hope you get some sort solution before the time comes. And good luck on the birth of your baby beautiful new beginnings and more amazing memories xxx
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You better ask whoever laid with you and got you pregnant this time for some food money 
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Poor little boy! Not a single thing I wouldn’t do to provide for my children. Its not his fault or his fight.
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I’m calling bull shit. You can’t afford to feed your child so you have another one?
Isn’t that the typical arrangement…? My husband gets his daughter during the summer and still pays child support. I think it’s bullshit because she’s useless, but it’s what the custody order says (for now).
One doesn’t simply lose custody of their child. There is a reason the judge was ok with him going to live with his dad full time. Somethings missing in this story… You need to stop having babies you can’t afford to feed and quickly figure out how you can make a little extra money for the little bit of time your son will be with you. Maybe baby daddy number 2 can step it up so you can focus on your eldest who hasn’t been with you in a while.
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The father seems abusive. My first thoughts. And manipulative.
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Girl you better get your baby
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You need to try harder for your son… There is no reason you have not seen your son since January, only if you live in different countries… You dont have money, but you do for another baby on the way? And a 10 year old doesn’t get a say in court with who he wants to live with for custody, they look at his well being and where he will thrive… And for the court to not choose the mother, that says something right there. Try harder, that baby needs his mother
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You and the dad should be able to come to an agreement - don’t pay support while he’s with dad. Or change your custody agreement to 50/50 so no one is paying anyone. You brought the child into this world and we all struggle, I am sure you can find a way. Honestly if $ is that tight I would have probably tried to prevent another child coming into an already tight situation, but its neither here nor there because your soon to be child is already on the way. Be an adult and talk to your ex, find a solution.
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I dont think he should have to pay you but you should not have to give him the child support for the two months your son is with you. Maybe got to court and see if they can defer it or something for those two months.
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Why should he have to pay u when u have your son you lost custody and if u have known since January you would have him that was 6 months ago had u saved 10 bucks a week thats 240 u could have had money for food ANYONE can save 10 bucks a week that’s 2 coffees a week… i find it sad ur making excuses not to see your son
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A lot of ppl here are bashing this mom for not being able to afford to her son while she’s paying child support but don’t care that she supported him alone for 8 yrs. Why should dad get a free pass to not be in his life or support him for years. But mom is wrong for being concerned about being able to afford him?
To the OP, If you’re receiving SNAP contact your CW. You might be able to get a raise for the time you have your son. Also go to food pantries before he arrives. Use your food budget to fill in the gaps from what you’re able to get. Do what you can to make it work. After 2 years in Dad’s house he’s probably not getting the gifts & being spoiled the way he was last time you went to court. It may be time to change the custody arrangement. Especially when he gets time to bond with the new baby then has to leave it. I understand you have hard feelings towards your son for choosing a stranger over you. It would be hard for any Mom to accept. Don’t take it out on him. He doesn’t understand things the way we do.
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In my opinion, the child may not understand his father’s behaviour was manipulative now but you not taking him in for the summer won’t do you any favours once he grows up either.
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When i was a kid and went through custody battles between my parents let me tell you the judge DID NOT listen to where i wanted to go. Plus at the time my mom was on drugs, an alcoholic, and in and out of jail and the judge still didnt want to place me full time with my father because “she should have her mom in her life”
You did something. The judge didn’t just side with a 10 year old. Something happened and there is way more to this story. You are pregnant with another child and most likely cant afford it and im sure in a few years UNLESS YOU CHANGE you wont have custody of this child either and im sure you will blame the father. It is not the dads fault that he has custody. He takes care of that child all year long and let me tell you $250 is absolutely nothing when it comes to raising a child. So the fact you cant handle just feeding him for the summer shows you should not have kids.
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Well if you can’t afford him for 2 freaking months then maybe that’s why his father was granted to take him and not stay with you a 8 year old doesn’t decide in court with who he wants to live also why are you having another kid if you can’t even afford the one you have for 2 months 🤦also you can’t say oh I didn’t ask for support for 8 years because you should have asked for support and he should have paid but it’s pass already you can’t get that money anymore you do what you have to to provide for him those 2 months there’s no excuse why you haven’t seen him since January he will not understand that you “don’t have money for his food” just that you are having a new baby and aren’t going to have him over for the summer he may feel like you are replacing him with another child also dad can retake you to court for full custody since your not even trying to see your son
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She said she can’t afford to feed another mouth exactly how many mouths are you feeding and if you about to have another baby is the dad gone be in that one life cause mistake me if I’m wrong if you can’t afford to feed your son then how the hell are you finna afford to take care of a newborn baby I totally agree something isn’t adding up and maybe you should have your tubes tied
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Your a mother you should be making a way for it to work , idk there’s deadbeat dads you seem like a deadbeat mom 
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What does the court order say is supposed to happen as far as child support while your son is with you?
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Man I got five kids and Im working on getting guardianship back of my four year old when I was at a point when I couldn’t take care of him when I was sleeping in my car at that time I only had three kids his grandparents were suppose to give him back I’ve had apartment for two years and instead they gave him to his dad who beat the hell out of my oldest son when he was younger when I wasn’t home ANYWAY so I had two kids after still fighting to this day to get my four year old son I have everything he needs we just moved into our three bedroom apartment he’s got a bed clothes and his dad still fucking playing games so I’m taking him back to court! My point I’m trying to say is that I’m taking care of the kids I have now especially with what just happened with my oldest son again when his dad left bruises on his body befor I got them back and I have got them for over two months now (we had joint custody prior) but I take care of all of my kids despite trying to get my other son back and if I knew I couldn’t do it I would have found other options but hearing your story kind of pisses me off because I’m over here fighting to get my child back dying to get to see him but you won’t take your son over $$$ issues? I did and still do whatever it takes to make sure my kids are straight you should too! So if he’s asking you to take him for the summer take him! Because the only person you have to blame is yourself I’m sure besides Foodstamp’s there are plenty of other options ANd not to mention my kids would get fed first before me anyway so…
How can you not afford YOUR own child? 
id honestly kill for my eldest to be aloud to stay all summer with me… you are something special…
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Seems like she may have had some really tough issues that since we don’t know her we can’t solve in a day, but if any of you girls want to direct message me me maybe we can figure out a way to mediate or help her four a couple of months with food
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Money money money. What does your heart say to do
If you can’t afford to feed one for 2 months out of 12 months then you prob shouldn’t be having a second .
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I’m sorry but my mom always told me where there is food for 1, there is enough for 2. This is affecting your mental health. You need to re-evaluate things and make a plan. Write it down. And work towards it. I’m a single mother & I have struggled, I’ve literally gotten it out the mud, picking up odd jobs like shoveling horse shit on the weekends just to be able to support my kid. You can do it if you want to see your son. Hit up some food banks and local churches. You can get food. Don’t feel defeated, just keep pushing if you really want your son around.
Think both you and the dad need to pill your heads out your arses.
Think you need to find a form of contraception expecially if you cant feed your son never mind a newborn.
and what the hell did you do to go from having full custody to no custody? wheres the rest of the story
Wow, I don’t recall this poor person asking everyone for all the horrible comments. There is so much hate in the world already and majority of you spreading it here too. You should all be ashamed of yourself. The woman has said she can’t afford another mouth mainly because she is already paying nearly $300 in child support plus whatever else and then for the 2 months she will have her son over she would be still paying that 300 for the dad to spend whilst she trying to feed mouths. I see her right I’m sorry he should sacrifice his payments whilst you have him. You are also pregnant so you don’t need to be stressed out if it makes it easier for you to have him for a couple of small visits during the summer or even not at all then do that.
AND IM SORRY BUT EVERYONES WHO WROTE SOMETHING HORRIBLE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES AND GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK IF YOU WAS IN A BAD
SITUATION WOULD YOU WANT ADVISE OR ABUSE OR TO BE JUDGE. 
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Wow - these comments are harsh!! I hope those commenting don’t find themselves in this kind of situation … 
Dont pay him when the child is with you?
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Theres is something missing… there is a reason you dont have custody🤷♂️
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Why would you give him child support when he’s in your care child support is to feed and clothe the child so don’t give it him while he’s with you I’d definitely have him though you’d regret not doing especially when you have you new baby that would be a special moment for him To be Involved in.
Also ignore the horrible comments they obviously haven’t had hard times and like to be judgmental and not helpful
Wow! Just wow! Ima just shut up on this smfh!
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Some of you are just horrible Wow.
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I get. That it’s hard but you should not absolutely should not decide whether or not to take your son based on if u hey support money or help… if u want your son you will figure it out… I’m sorry this rings very personal for me. I have 2 boys and my oldest son’s father has never not once helped me financially or in any other way yet Everytime he wants his son I’m the first to say you bet where and when even offered him money to do things with his son… my point is that Money has nothing to do with the relationship between a child and their parents I’m sure you will find a way to feed him mother’s always find a way…
Wouldn’t even be a question in my mind
U should have never take the father to court ,and the money u are using to paying child support now ,would have supported your child and he would have been living with u now .
She’s a deadbeat mom!! If it was a guy writing all this all you defending her would call the guy a deadbeat!! Haven’t seen your child since January and still don’t want to see him now cause you can’t afford him but can afford to have a whole new baby!! Just reading your post gives me an idea of WHY your son wanted to go live with someone else!! If you can’t afford to see your son you so easily gave away cause you can’t afford him, STOP having more kids you can’t afford!!
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Find a way to afford it.Your son needs his mother.
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I feel very sorry for this boy who undoubtedly knows the war being waged between his parents with him being used as bait.
Just don’t pay him cs while his with you so you can use the money
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Maybe you could find a food bank or go to a church and ask for some help for the 2 months, but I would find some way for it to work
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Go to a food bank and spend the time with your child
You need to talk to a lawyer.
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The best advice that I can give is to please, I beg you, to see a therapist and sort out your thoughts. This is your son, he only calls one person mom. With the right supports in place, you will be strong enough to establish a healthy relationship with him and not let the thought of not being able to feed him or afford him disguise what is really going on. The only reason a parent shouldn’t have their son is if the child’s safety is in jeopardy. Every child needs a mother. He is only a boy now, but one day, he will be a man. It is not too late to be a part of his life now, so you can have a long lasting relationship, past childhood, when he can make his own decisions. All those things that his father buys him now, is all materialistic. Children are easily manipulated by parents that buy them things. But the values that are taught to them by their mom, are ever lasting. If possible, consider moving closer to him, so you can see him more often. I am sure he has looked forward to seeing you too. Please take my advice and call someone in your area that can see you right away before your relationship with him is so damaged, that it becomes beyond repair. All of us moms stand behind you! You are stronger than you think!!
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As a mom, u need to get your shit together. The court gave him custody cuz u r clearly a hot broke mess. Poor kid
The fact that she mentioned that they live “thousands of KMs” away from each other tell me she is not in the US. Who knows what laws are like overseas?
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