She’ll be fine while you take a quick shower. It’s not like Everytime she cries you make her cry it out lol… she will be perfectly fine
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I shower at night when my kid is asleep. It’s the easiest thing for me.
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If you’re able to bring her into the bathroom with you while you shower, I’d do that! My son was the same way and would freak out if I wasn’t in the same room as him. I’d set him in a bouncer and talk to him the whole time. It made the whole process so much easier for the both of us. Now that he’s older I just leave the bathroom door open and he can play in his room and come in as he pleases.
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Try talking to her while you shower or peek a boo with the curtain.
No she will not feel abandoned. Self soothing is part of growing up. It’s okay to let her cry it out every now and again. She will survive, she will not suffer from PTSD or anything like that. Sing a song or something so she can hear you but otherwise shes fine
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Can you bring the pak n play thing into the bathroom or sit it at the door so she can see you while you shower if you’re not already? I used to have my bub surrounded by toys on the floor in the bathroom while I showered. He’s now 20 months and although most of the time we shower together if I need a quick one I’ll simply lock him in the bathroom with me while I jump in…
i took baths, had my littles in their high chair/bouncy seat next to me.
fuck the haters, you’re doing fine. you HAVE to make sure you’re okay too. shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put light makeup on. the baby is fine. it’s imperative for you to be fine also.
If you have a seat (bouncer, vibrating chair, swing, etc) bring it into your bathroom so she can still (kinda see you and talk to her if she starts to get fussy. One thing that has been a lifesaver for me is a mobile in the crib! The music is timed so I know I have 20 minutes from the time I start it to shower, or eat something, clean a room, etc before it stops. All else fails, you could put her to sleep before you shower.
My daughter used to scream her head off in the car seat on the way home 30 minutes. Every day. I would pull over, she would be dry, I would try to feed her, she wouldn’t be hungry. She just wanted to be snuggled. Obviously I can’t do that while driving and no music would help soothe her either. I felt so horrible she would cry herself to sleep, but there was literally nothing I could do.
Now she’s 10 months and is cool as long as she gets to hear rap music 
(idk why both her parents are metal heads but whatever works 
). Don’t feel bad mama she’s fine. You need to shower. You’re not leaving her for hours on end. It is ok. I highly doubt she’s going to be psychologically traumatized by crying it out in this situation.
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I brogught my kids in the bathroom with me all three of them, but don’t feel bad if you don’t. It’s ok for kids to cry sometimes. Also I saw some
People saying to
Put her in the car seat and pt her in the bathroom. Don’t do this. It’s dangerous
She’ll be okay to cry 
trust meeee. As long as she’s in a safe place and (if you don’t already) use a video monitor so you know she’ll be okay
I used to put mine in a rock and play (before they were recalled) while I showered. As long as she could see me and hear my voice she was fine.
If she has been taken care of, fed, is clean and dry, not too hot or cold…put a canopy toy on her bed, lay a doll or some small toy next to her…babies will learn to calm themselves. I don’t know what time you shower…but it might just be easier to wait till it is her nap time, or bed time, and she is already asleep. Good luck.
Can you put her near the bathroom door and leave the door open?
Take her with you in a bouncy seat and talk to her while you shower. I did this so many times with each kid and I have 5 and a couple of mine still cried but it’s better than being left alone to cry
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When mine was that age I either waited until he was asleep with dad, or I brought him in and let him play in the rocker while he could see me still shower. I’ve never let him cry it out and couldn’t ever imagine someone doing the same to me if I needed comfort. It’s too harsh of a world, comfort baby shower later!
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Do you have a swing? My baby would swing at that age while I showered
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I always shower when I lay my kid down for a nap. It made me feel better about showering while being the only one home. If she wouldn’t nap I’d shower with her. Took some getting used to but its definitely doablw
It’s ok for her to cry her self to sleep like that! If she likes a vibrating bouncy chair or swing, put her in it and bring her in the bathroom with you! My son is the same age and this is what I do. He stays quiet and sometimes falls asleep to the sound of the running water.
Sometimes you have to let them cry it out. My daughter is 2 months and my husband and I will take fast showers together while she is in her bouncy seat in the bathroom with us (he works 12 hours a day so it’s easier to shower together) or he will hold her while I shower.
Yes they do get overstimulated.
It’s tough being a mommy with no you time.
You’ll figure it out what works for you.
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Crying is okay, especially if you need a brake and no ones home. Of course I wouldn’t do this every time 3 months is still a little young. Even the book of ‘No Tears Cry it out’ says 6months is the ideal time to aloud them to learn to self sooth without judging yourself. Baby may just be colicky. Mine did really good if I brought him in his rocker with me to the bathroom, put on the shower and turn the lights low. (Meaning turn off the lights ) I always showered by candlelight or I had a low light installed over the shower. So it made me feel like I had a sexy shower and he felt comfortable I was still there, but white noise from the shower. Good luck mama
She will be fine!!! I’m not saying take a 45 minute shower, but a quick shower while she cries it out will be fine. I believe they have to be old enough to actually know what’s going on to develop abandonment issues.
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I always kept the shower door open and put them in a bounce chair or one of there bassinets while I showered.
You’re not a bad mom, it isn’t going to hurt her to cry. If you are going to lay her in the pack n play or her crib while you shower just bring the baby monitor in the bathroom with you. With both my kids I would put them in their bouncer chair and brought them in the bathroom with me and would talk to them while I showered real fast. However, with my daughter even putting her in the bouncer chair and bringing her in the bathroom didn’t work. She still sat there and cried the whole time I showered. She is currently a year old and as happy as ever. At the end of the day she is your baby you are her momma and despite what you have read or heard or been told YOU know her best you do what you feel is right for you and her to get through the day.
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I tasied seven babies I was pregnant from 1964 to 1974 when my last one was born I was a good mother we are very close even now my baby is 45 my oldest 55 I let all of them cry there self to sleep at times if not I would have gone crazy I had to do what was best 4 not just them but for me to I dont take much stock in the doctors we have now most of them have never raised one child
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My bub watches me wash
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My kids are 3 and 1.5 and I still stick them in the pack and play and bring them in the bathroom with me. I figure the steam is good for their dry noses and I’m not stressing
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She will be fine! Crying helps develop lungs, helps them learn to self soothe! If you have a bounce chair you can bring it in the bathroom!
I used to put the bouncer in the bathroom or put him in his swing w the tv on 
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Shower with her! There’s slings and chairs. Then the baby and you are all clean!
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I don’t know where you got info from but it’s just a quick shower baby will be fine
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Dear mom…you need to be able to wash. Your baby will be OK. .that’s not abandonment…it’s personal hygiene…relax and clean up without guilt.
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Girl. Dont feel bad. Yes it’s hard being a mom and hearing your baby cry but with that being said it’s also important to teach them to self sooth. Now if shes crying hysterically get out check on her but if shes just crying because you’re no longer in sight do then do your thing. I used a bouncer most of the time in the bathroom with me but I have twins and I promise on more than 1000 occasions I’m dealing with one and the other is crying. Lol. It happens. Do your best momma. My daughter is 1 now and shes so spoiled. I wish I would have let her cry it out more often because now she throws fits. Her brother was a NICU baby. Learned to self sooth as a newborn. He has a completely reaction to separation and falling asleep on his own etc.
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Nope. Problem. Is. Holding. Her. When. Shes 15 months old. Following. You. Around. Screaming. You will. Think. Of me. Use to. The. Wk. Or. Less. Nurses. Had them. Spoiled. By time. You. Left. Hosp. Let. Her. Cry. Til she. Figures out. You. Arent. Gonna. Run
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As long as you can hear her and handled your business all is well-because moms have to shower too-baby will survive and thrive
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I would recommend taking a shower when it’s her nap time so you don’t have to rush nor hear her crying
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It’s totally up to you, I mean, you’ve asked the question so something inside you must feel like you’re doubting yourself. I personally couldn’t think of anything worse than my baby feeling like I’ve abandoned them and crying like that and me not going to comfort them. There are a lot of theories on newborns and infancy which have led to a lot of scientific facts on how they develop throughout life depending on experiences they will have had when in infancy. Look up Eriksons stage theory and what it means. I personally would take a shower later or bring the babe in with me in a bouncy seat (which I’ve always done with both mine)… You asked for no harsh comments but this is just a fact of life, you’re last in the pecking order now. Baby comes first so if s/he is awake and you need a shower. You’re going to have to wait if you don’t want your babe in a state. Sometimes I haven’t looked at the shower for 4 days, dry shampoo and a wash in the sink does wonders. The reality of being a mum. And if anyone tells you differently, they’re lying xx
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I think as mamas we all go through this I have an 11month old son who takes really good naps since he was born so I get my shower in then but now when my daughter was a baby she took little cat naps, I tried putting her swing in the bathroom with me, nope that never worked lol. It always resulted in her crying or me lol. They will be okay though while you quickly shower. Just snuggle them up when you get out.
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Guessing this is your first child you are walking, holding this baby constantly? In my day it was called a floor baby because we never let them touch the floor.
You’re delaying taking care of your needs longer and longer until she is exhausted and knows that being put in the package n play means separation from you so she falls asleep.
You need, no atter how hard it is, and I know it is hard, to start putting her in it or at least down for awhile longer each day say by just a few minutes until she and you get comfortable with it.
My first child I smothered with attention and frankly, he grew to be spoiled brat. My second was given more indepence than my new motherhood had allowed the first, and he has grown to be a strong, resourceful decent human being. The first still depends on me at 45years old.
If the only time you put her in it is when you leave her then her crying is her way of training you. Yep, been there…
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I wouldn’t do it again. You can bring her in with you in a bassinet, rocker or something. But CIO at that age has been scientifically proven to cause issues. Twice won’t hurt her, but continuous it may.
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Hunny. It’s ok. As long as it isn’t much longer than 15 minutes of crying by herself, you’re fine and stressing about one more thing you don’t need to. She is learning to self sooth at the same time, she is a little young but you’re not doing it every single night and every single time she goes to sleep. Easy on yourself:heart:
Little crying dont hurt, make their lungs stronger!
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I’m sure baby will be ok but I get why you feel bad I was the same so I’d put him in the bouncy seat in the bathroom doorway ( it was a very small bathroom) and I got a clear shower curtain so he could see me. He stopped crying for the most part except a few occasions where I just talked to him from the shower. But it worked out well so I could enjoy my shower and relax for a minute without the mom guilt
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I always brought mine to the bathroom with me in a bouncer or swing.
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I have a 2 month old. When my husband isnt home I just shower with the little guy. I have a baby bath seat he lays in, in the back of the shower so he sees me and is warm. Then i can shower as long as i want plus I can clean him to
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Just talk to her from the shower… 
idk… she shouldn’t feel abandoned if she can hear you. Sing to her or just carry on a conversation out loud. If you don’t take care of you I can promise you won’t be able to take care of her hunny. Deep breaths 
She will be just fine! Take your shower!
Bring her in with you! Play peek a boo.
Like everyone else says you can shower when they take their nap. Our you can have a bumbo seat and sit them in the bathroom with you
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Honestly, just because I know mom guilt is real…try and shower while she naps if she does. Or maybe put her in a bouncy and have her be in the bathroom with you while you shower.
Crying makes their lungs strong,but wait till she goes to sleep before your bath,anything could happen…
I would put my daughter down for a nap and then shower
My sister and I cried it out. I’m incredibly close to my mom and lover her more than anything! Alot of people let babies cry it out, it’s not bad I promise. If anything shower when she naps? Or if you have a camera for her crib/pac and play bring the monitor in with you so you can see her
One thing i learned with the first child i had… The nurse stressed to me… Babys can cry. And they will be okay. The baby will be fine. At that age… U must have her in ur arms alot. She’ll be fine. And try not carrying her as much.
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I used to do a bouncy seat in the bathroom floor
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i took my baby girl always with my in shower 
and i loved too sit down in the shower having her in my arms 
ore bathing and having the wheeling baby basked by my side:sparkling_heart:
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If it bothers u bring her in the shower with u or in the bathroom but she will be fine
Yes it is fine. Crying isn’t bad. Buckle her into a little bouncy seat and bring her into the bathroom while u shower.
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Put her in the bathroom with you.
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Crying while you shower is not going to scar the baby for life.
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My babies were born early if me or my husband were alone and had to take a shower eithet we wait till it was bedtime for them or we let them cry it out. Crying helped made their lungs strong and work. My husband played music to help a little. If you want to make sure she sees you buckle her in the bouncy seat turn it on have her see you shower or bathe together. Just so you know if you decided to do a cry it out your NOT a bad mother!
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My baby is now 45 I use to put my daughter in her infant seat and take her in the bathroom that way I could talk to her or sing a song
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If she has time to cry herself to sleep it’s not a quick shower. Also, you can take a bouncy into the bathroom with you while you shower. I would be to worried to let my baby cry excessively without any comfort but that’s just me. 
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The only problem I see here is, is it actually a fast shower? Is she crying herself to sleep in 5 minutes? I can generally get a shower in about that time.
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She has to learn to put herself to sleep let her cry
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The baby will be just fine . A baby does not have to be held 24/7 . Crying will not harm the baby unless that is all you let it do . A baby has different kind of cries unless it is hurt hungry or in pain it’s just fine to do what you need to do . Babies will cry for attention and you need to also be able to take care of yourself within reason
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It’s not gna hurt her at all to cry it out at any time as long as u know she’s fed changed and all that stuff they learn that crying gets them attention and will often cry for no reason other than that…and while nothing is wrong with that they also need to learn to self soothe. She’ll soon figure out and see that you will be back it’ll make it easier on any future baby sitters or other child care providers you use
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Dont take the baby to the bathroom while you shower. For one its not good for them to be sitting in a steamed up bathroom all the time when you take a shower and 2 it will get harder over time if you keeo that routine up, there is more reaons then these 2. Try to take your showers while she is asleep. Or get up a little earlier before she wakes up in the morning and take a shower. If you set a routine every morning, example get up at a certain time, take shower, get your self ready, have your you time then get baby bottlle ready at the time you want baby to wake up every morning, then wake baby up and keep it consistent. Stay in control. Schedules take alot of work but it really pays off.
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Crying it out is fine for them. I did the crying out method with my daughter, she is independent & healthy as can be but also can be a total Mama’s girl
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Baby’s need to learn to self comfort. I’m not saying just throw her in the bed at a certain time of night and be done with it, no. I’m just saying that it will not hurt her to cry herself to sleep every now and then.
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I doubt you are in there long enough to do any damage. She is probably just tired.
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I agree crying doesn’t hurt them, you don’t have to hold a kid 24/7. They have to learn somehow that your right there and aren’t far away. Have them near enough to you you can just talk to them or sing to them as someone said … They will have to learn to be independent from you. If you don’t start now when you drop em off at daycare/ preschool one day they will be devastated and it is worse when you are always handling them and I all babies have problems with separation anxiety you just have to let them learn your not gone!
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Baby’s never cry for nothing, do whatever you need to do while baby is sleeping … yes it can cause abandonment issues.
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My daughter is 8 now, from the time she was born until around 3 years old she HAD to cry to fall asleep (maybe 5-10mins) whether I was with her or not. She still whines herself to sleep.
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If it helps bring her in a bouncy and have her in the bathroom while you shower so you can check on her and have peace of mind. I know when my LO cried I got a lot of anxiety and having him close helped settle my nerves.
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She will be ok. Let her cry long enough to get yourself together.
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Self soothing, crying themselves too sleep, is cruel
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I have 7 kids. There have been points where all have cried themselves to sleep. As long as the baby has been fed, changed, had time with you talking/playing with them - then it is fine.
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So, from 0-6 months especially, you do not let them “cry it out” this is the exact time an infants brain associates crying with being rescued and is in need of the most immediate care to properly respond to their environment and make those mental connections. From 6 months to a year is when you start letting them self soothe gradually lengthening the time you let them cry until they know with 100% certainty, you are there, there is nothing to fear, you will always be there and they can comfort themselves. There is no such thing as loving or holding or spending too much time with an infant before 1 year of age. The first year of a humans life is critical in the formation of proper bonding and trust.
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Babies dont need to cry it out. They dont even learn cause and effect until like 6 months. Every dr I’ve had says to not let them do it however letting her cry to shower wont hurt her. Just comfort her when you get out if she hasn’t fallen asleep.
She will be fine. Sometimes my 3 month old fights sleep and she just needs to sleep, so she cries. Nothing crazy.
P.s. Look into my baby can sleep program. Seriously. My 3 month old sleeps 12 hours at night and takes three 2-2.5 hour naps a day. She loves her schedule and mommy loves sleeping. It will help with the crying to sleep.
As much as I hated letting my kids cry while I needed to do something, shit needed to be done. Take your shower, tend to your needs too.
Honestly, you can only do so much. If you’re alone most of the time or all of the time, it’s unreasonable to call a babysitter so that you can shower. So just do what you need to do to take care of yourself too. It’s unreasonable to expect you to be attached to your baby every single second. She will be fine.
When the twins were little an immobile, I put them in their swings. Now, I just shower at night time when they are asleep which is usually around 7 or 8PM. They are one now, and have a more consistent schedule.
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So let’s just put this into a different perspective… 90 DAYS OLD. No infant should ever “cry it out” or be left to “cry themselves to sleep”… infants at that age ONLY cry for a reason… there is no learned behavior or ulterior motive, only basic instincts at this age. Wow. Too many women do not know this!!!
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My grandmotherly opinion is that 3 months is a bit young to let her cry herself to sleep. Meeting her needs now at this young age may give her the security she needs. You sound like a great mom who’s navigating brand new territory. Always go with your gut feeling. Wishing you the best!
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You need to swaddle her tight and place her in a small area, a 3 month old does not need a pack and play, that is much to large of an area, infants of that age need to feel safe and secure, not all out in the open. I imagine that’s a large part of the problem, try swaddling and a bassinet.
She can cry while you shower. She’ll be fine, you’ll be clean = win/win
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If my husband wasn’t available to hold our firstborn when I needed to shower, he went in a bouncy seat in the bathroom with me so he could see me and know I hadn’t left him. If he started crying, my shower was over. “Cry it out” has been proven by experts to cause brain damage and is absolutely not recommended for babies under 6 months if you’re going to use it at all. I’m on my third baby and we’ve never used CIO. It’s cruel. Babies that small are incapable of understanding why they’ve been abandoned and are crying for a reason, not because they feel like it.
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If she is safely in a pack n play or crib then she is fine. Use a monitor and keep an eye and ear out and then shower. Moms have to use the bathroom, take a shower, get dressed, clean, cook, etc and you cant bring your baby everywhere and wear them all the time. As long as you aren’t neglecting them and they’re fed, changed, and loved then do you and enjoy a moment in that shower lol. Some parents act like crying is going to be detrimental to a baby or act as if it’ll kill them.
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Is there a reason you can’t do it when she naps or when someone else is home?
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People OMG she just wants to take a shower! You act as if she’s leaving her…the woman wants a SHOWER for god sake…go take your shower and never ask for advice on here as you see people are ignorant as you asked for no mean advice…yet they do
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I shower when my baby sleeps. Not sure about you but I’m just finishing up maternity leave so I shower when I feel like it cuz my baby is always sleeping lol.
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In my opinion no i do not think thats okay. I do understand that you need to shower though. I’m not judging you. Maybe just take a bath with the baby? That’s what i had to do a lot. Or i would just wait for my fiance to get home. I would not let the baby cry itself to sleep this little
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Honestly my son would be so fussy and he’s cry all the time. I would do everything from an extra ounce in case he was hungry to rocking him , going outside for walks , everything you read id do and nothing would work. (After I learned the power of daytime naps) he would be fine until bedtime and would refuse to go to sleep. He wouldn’t sleep unless he’s held so I started putting him in his bed making sure he’s comfortable and every need was met and let him cry for 3 minutes. Every three minutes of go in and of he wouldn’t calm down id take him out for a bit before trying again. He just refuses to go to bed when he’s held because he wants to stay up. Within a couple days he realized when’s bed time and that mom’s coming back but it’s time to go to sleep. It’s a weaning process honestly.
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Nah I’ve got two and another on the way and they’ve cried it out many times and they as clingy as clingwrap
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Honestly the baby will be ok but I would try bouncy seat in the bathroom then u can look out and check on them and the water sound is soothing etc . I always did that and sometimes they still cried but helped with me not worrying that I could see them
She is fine! Take your shower girl! Hell take a bath as long as she’s safe she’s good!
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You have to take care of yourself and taking a shower is something you HAVE to do. Feed. Change. And make sure they are comfy with no choking or suffocation hazards and maybe play some soothing music for them and go take a shower mama! You are doing a fantastic job and if you’re even stressing about your baby crying for a few minutes while you take a shower that means you’re an attentive, smart, loving mother. You are doing great.
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Yall she has to be able to take a shower! Come on … do the best you can little momma . None of us are perfect.
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