Is my boyfriend too involved with his friends?

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship when we are together. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage and am pregnant with my 4th, my boyfriends 1st. He treats me so well and just bought us a new house. We are just getting ready to move in together. I only get to see him 2-3 days a week right now because of my kids. My problem is he is so involved with his friends. Every other weekend he’s going on 2-4 day trips with them and in turn, I only get to see him like once that week. He texts me the whole time he’s gone saying he misses me and wishes he was with me. I’ve explained to him that I feel like he puts his friends first and at 32 years old I don’t feel like he needs to be gone at his friends for the entire weekend every other weekend. He tells me his friends are important to him and he doesn’t want to lose them and would rather be with me. I’m not trying to keep him from his friends but once we move in together in a week and have a baby I don’t want this to continue. What is a normal amount for a man with a family to hang with his boys? Any advice?
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I feel like if they hung out at your house or invited both of you guys to their house it would be more acceptable & I would say maybe every other weekend would be okay but just like a barbecue or something not a 2-4 day trip. I’ve been with my husband for 6 years now and he’s never gone on trips with friends. They’ll come over for birthday parties, just to hangout, for football games but they don’t stay the night or go anywhere. I feel like trips is kind of ridiculous unless it’s like 1-2 maybe 3 times a year. He still has a life… a job, you, the kids plus a baby coming soon so he needs to be more focused on that. I would tell him once the baby is here he really needs to shape up because you can’t do that alone with a newborn plus 3 other children by yourself just because he wants to see his friends. If they’re really his friends they’ll understand he’s busy with life and they’ll catch up when they can.

Let him enjoy yourself while there’s no baby as it’ll have to change then and just explain to him now so he understands that going out every other weekend just isn’t acceptable when you’ve had your baby but also allow him and his mates to have a games and beer night when all the kids are in bed so they’re not being left out so to speak. But when we had our first baby 9 months ago all my partners friends seem to just disappear and reappear whenever they like :woman_facepalming:t3:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is my boyfriend too involved with his friends?

I would suggest once a month and once the baby is here you both get a weekend once a month with friends to rest and revive. I have 2 teens and wish I thought of this sooner

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You’re not wrong to feel the way you are feeling. Especially with a baby on the way. Maybe he’s trying to get his time in with his friends now before baby comes ? But Its not Right in my eyes, for him to be away for that long.

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He’s accepted you and your 3 kids. He’s probably gonna want some alone time. And, don’t you want alone time too?

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Once the baby comes there will be more responsibilities to share. Until then I wouldn’t try to change him hanging out with friends. It sounds like he is good at relationships romantically and socially. I don’t think right now is a proper indicator of what he’ll be like after his first child is born. His friends will most likely have children as well and things will naturally fall into place.

Its important for people to have and maintain relationships beyond their intimate relationship.

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Girl he living a double life

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Bottom line is there is no right or wrong here. If you aren’t happy with the amount of time he is dedicating to your family (Within reason meaning everyone needs time for themselves) then you should find someone that has the same mindset as you. Maybe after his 1st child is born because he doesn’t have the responsibility right now in carrying that child it may change but in my opinion if a man wants you there and says they miss you and has the option of being with you since he travels so frequent then they would choose to be with you and do these things with you. Love is love and following your heart is amazing but you have to also listen to your head. I don’t know the whole picture but as an adult if you really want something then a person would do do it.

Yes it’s true to have time apart and time together, but that seems a bit much. You only get to see him 2-3 times a week because of your kids, and then he’s going on trips every other weekend??? I’m trusting and all that but there’s no way, all that would be going down. That’s a bit excessive. He knew what he was getting into when the 2 of you got involved. It’s time for him to grow up and be responsible. Do you all go on trips together? And if he misses you so much, and wishes that you were with him, then why doesn’t he stay home with you or is that also because of the kids? You would think that with you being pregnant with his first child, that he would want to be around more. That doesn’t sit well with me, but hey, it’s not my relationship. I hope that you guys can find some common ground, especially before you move in together and the baby comes. Good luck to you.

People do what they want to.

Nah! He’s not being honest … time for some investigation - his behavior is sketchy!

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:100: % recommend to have this conversation with him before moving in together

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As the girlfriend n not the wife don’t get comfortable in that house. Also if he really is with his guy friends yea he cheating or he really has a wife he just doing in his mind the honorable thing by putting a roof over his child head

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Definitely sounds like he living a double life. What I would do is ask him to invite these friends over to the new house to hang out an see what he says if he cool with it then maybe he just actually really likes his friend time but if he fights it makes up excuses u might wanna rethink things

The comments jumping to cheating is irrational. Ffs

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Sorry to burst your bubble but check where his other family at…double life!

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I’d start digging but also wouldn’t assume he’s cheating until you have e proof. Also don’t move in with him until this is figured out because it will destroy you…

Obviously he working on his second child elsewhere.

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It’s pretty hard to change habits. I am sure he’s been doing this when you first got together.
You need a come to Jesus meeting before you move into the house. Tell him what you need and want from him.

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It all sounds a little weird. He would rather be with you, yet no one forced him to go. He could have said no. Sounds like he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

Well you see, once a dude marries or moves in with a girl usually the 1st thing going out the window are friends dont let him loose them
Do make him well aware that Obviously when the baby comes he will need to help you more unless he can hire a maid and she can do the heavy work and the nanny so she can watch over the other kids :wink:
But at some point he may have to settle if a relationship is what he wanted

I’d be wondering what he’s up to while he’s away.

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All these comments about cheating. He probably honestly just has a really close group of friends. They may have grown up together from a really young age. I do agree he should be home alot more. And hopefully Things drastically change for the better.

And congratulations on the baby.

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He cheating those aren’t boys he hanging out with you the side chick he only comes around to get a little something something and back with the “homeboys”

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He’s living a double life. Not because he got you a house, accepted your kids and got you pregnant means he’s faithful. When a man wants to be with you, nothing in this world would stop him. Don’t be fooled by words.

Sorry, Cole slaw, but you’re definitely the side.

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Sounds kind of immature.I wouldn’t no man gone all weekend ,when there’s a baby on the way.

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My husband and I have 100% trust. We only have 1 kid together. However a relationship is built on trust. No trust, no us. Just out of curiosity, what happened with your last marriage? It could be that he had cheated on you and now you’re paranoid this boyfriend is cheating on you. HOWEVER, communication is key. I think having an adult talk with him is the best option. He’s probably just kind of de-stressing before the little one comes. Good luck!

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I’d say once a month to see his friends. You and his children come first now.

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Y’all are all pitiful… Smh… Sit down and talk to ur man… Dont try to push him away from his friends… They were there before u, let him know ur concerns…be open…

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What alone time would she be getting with 3 kids and 1 on the way?!

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Maybe he enjoys spending Soo much time with his friends because They probably BLOWING DA DUST out each other EYES""!! Cheating Don’t Always have to be with another Woman""IJS🤷🏾‍♀️

Don’t listen to the cheating comments. I trust my fiance more than words and know he would never do a thing to disrespect me when he’s gone. Also, with this being his first baby coming, and moving in with you and 3 other little ones, that is a HUGE life change for him. He may just be trying to get it out of his system before his whole life changes.
Sit down with him, have a heart to heart. If he gets rude, mean and defensive, that’s when you should worry.

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Don’t worry about the idiots telling you he is cheating. He is just immature and doing what he has always done. This will change when he is a dad. Good luck

This guy stupid… Why he get into a relationship that he doesn’t need… What idiot🤦

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Hopefully when the baby comes, he’ll spend more time with you on his own. After several years of marriage you’ll have no problem with him hanging out with his friends all weekend. You’ll enjoy the time to yourself. :laughing:

Yosi Mecomo Tulonche Denise Cazarez

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Lo conociste así no va a cambiar de un día para otro, el solo se dará cuenta y se quedará más en casa una ves que vivan juntos

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He sounds immature and totally not ready or even really wanting a family and the responsibilities that come with it. This isn’t gonna end well unless he decides to grow up and stop acting like he’s single, and that’s if he’s not cheating (which it sounds like he might be). Time for a serious conversation on growing tf up.

Maybe his friends are like his family. Can you have them there instead of going away? He will need to be home more when the baby comes for sure and maybe let him know that now.

Thats weird… every weekend 2-4days trips… idont care how important his friends are to him. His priority should be his pregnant gf. :woman_facepalming:who tf takes 2-4 day trips to see friends. You should probably see whats up with that

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When it’s time to settle down if your friends are really your friends no matter what they will always be there.

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I don’t think that’s normal. It’s great to hang out with friends and go away maybe once a month if it’s a whole weekend.

It’s definitely not a good thing. Maybe get on the same page with him, he needs to know that his weekend getaways are not going to be so frequent when the baby arrives.

For those saying…he isnt cheating

What type of friends keeps your partner out that long and often…especially when he is expecting a child…

Your partner sounds like he is living a double life.

Next time he saids he is chillin w friends ask for video chat and pics. Nothing wrong with asking that and it shouldn’t be a problem to send it…especially while your pregnant. You get worried.

Sounds like to me if wishes for you to be with him could be chance you could go with him your other kids stay with their father while you in home enjoy some time before the baby due depending how far long u are ? Maybe that you could also get to no his friends to maybe bbq at your house after the baby born so the guys have guys still and he still be there for the family ans u, but once in while do this you sit down try come with comprise other something like that but I think home leaving that many days every other weekend at his age and beginning of starting family little strange behavior so like what this me. Do on these trips u like um lol what

Honestly I try to kick mine out of the house to spend time with his friends. I want time to myself lol. Not every man who is out is cheating. And if he is, doesn’t matter if you try to stop him he is gonna do it anyways. Though I would tell him you would appreciate it if he could only do it once a month verses twice. That you want to spend time with him and if his friends respect him and you they won’t mind. That or see if you can go with :woman_shrugging:

Why not see if the friends can come to your place help move do a pizza night for moving day stuff like that bring them all together try and be friend them also

Actions speak louder than words. That man may very well have a whole ass wife. When he is CHOOSING to spend 2-4 days EACH AND EVERY week with his friends but texting you that he’d rather be with you, I call bullshit. If he really wanted to be with you, he would be. You see him once a week and you’re supposed to be living together and you’re carrying his child? He can have his time with his friends, but he’s a grown man with grown man responsibilities and he needs to act accordingly and not treat you like a side piece.

Jesus Christ. Who hurt you women ? Yikes. Not every man is cheating.

" Oh im bitter about my situation, let me shit on someone’s insecurities to make me feel better."

:kissing::neutral_face: OMG

Esta casado y con hijos y te está viendo la cara de tonta

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My husband tends to see his friend 2 evenings a week to watch the football… he doesn’t stay out and is only there for a few hours, but that’s his time; he works so hard for us that I would never begrudge him some time off! However 2-4 day trips is a bit much!

My question is if he’s gone 2-4 days at time every week where does he work? Does he have a stable job? Where does he go with his friends that he’s able to go with them and hold a job? Does he leave to go to work then go back to them? Have you meet them? If not, why? Has he ever asked you to join him? If not, why? At 32 years old no man I know is still kicking it with their boys like that…maybe one night of drinking or having a little get together at the house (but you should be there). This is his 1st kid so he doesn’t know what parenting is about yet. I’d hope once the baby is born he would stay home more., but what you allow is what will continue. If his friends are more important than you there is something wrong with that in my eyes.

He’s not with his friends. He’s prob living a double life. If it doesn’t stop when u move in together, you’ll know.

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You can suggest he at least don’t go on trips every other weekend and ask to short that down to one weekend in a month. Do you know why he cherish his friendships so much? Maybe it’s something you’re missing as to why he feel the need to spend a lot of time with them. Maybe they are his only family or was there for him when something real tragic happened in his life. I wouldn’t suggest he stop seeing them but just let him know once the baby comes and you all are under the same roof as a family, you’re going to need more of his time in maintaining the household, helping with the kids, and being by your side as you try to shake back from just having a baby. He’ll understand long as you don’t make it seem as if you’re trying to throw a wedge in the relationships he have with his friends

Have you met these friends? Do these friends have partners?

Very suspicious :eyes:

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This is really weird 2 to 4 day trips every weekend sounds very odd to me and your prego somethings up

Talk to him literally sit down and talk

All I have to say is there has to be balance!

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Why get pregnant when ur not happy? :woman_facepalming:

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If you’re looking for unswer’s on FB, then you already know the unswer. Look out for yourself and the kids.

Not sure but sounds to
Me he may have another girl. Sorry.

I’d expect that to stop once baby is here. It’s not fair for him to be a part time dad disappearing with his mates.
Those are the kind of sacrifices you make when you have a child. Standard!
And yes, even though I dont want to be ‘that’ woman I would be worried that he was with his wife/fiance/other gf.
My partner is also very close with his friends but there’s no way he’d choose to do that instead of being with me and the kids every other weekend and only seeing me once a week x

Do you know these “friends”? Does he try to keep you away from them? Do you hang with the girlfriends or wives of these “friends”? Where do they go on these 2-4 day “trips”???

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You are not married to this man. Now you will be doing wifely duties and a child for a man who wants to spend most of his time with his boys. Good job

You only see him a limited amount of time because of your kids, but then don’t want him going on trips in his free time even though he calls and texts? Things should change when y’all live together, but as of right now I don’t see the problem with him taking trips or traveling. There’s no reason for you to want him to sit at home just because you can’t go.

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He’s married…you’re the side chick…

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He either gay or he gay

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Men don’t wanna grow up, like ever. They’re friends always seem to trump their ladies. But if he’s legitimately invested in your relationship and vice versa. I know I should take my own advice but if you are going to be in a healthy relationship and progress as a couple you have to be able to voice your opinions.

Am not gonna tell her, Am not gonna tell her, am not gonna tell her, ohh fuck it am gonna tell her. Girllll am sorry you are the side chick

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Uhhh that’s just weird, imo. And definitely wouldn’t work for me. Unless my man is in the military there is no way I’d agree to only seeing him once a week. That’s bs and not even a relationship. People can text as much as they want, doesn’t mean anything. Actions speak louder than words. Girl, run. And don’t look back. He’s clearly not ready to grow up or he’s playing you.

First thing that popped in my head is - he’s off having a affair. Or he’s having a affair with you without you knowing :thinking: if it’s not a affair then he needs to grow the hell up! He can’t go off for days on end when he’s got a baby!!

Tell me you’re the side chick without telling me you’re the side chick.

Um, he has a child with you on the way, he needs to grow up and have some friends that have a bit more respect for him becoming a new first time dad!!! Every other weekend with 2-4 days a trip IS a bit excessive when hes gonna be a dad!!! So his friends are more important than his child??? Hmmm, he needs to wake up and learn about priorities, this isnt high school! If he loses his friends because he’s a dad, they weren’t really his friends to begin with!! Who cares if they knew him before you, once you create a family, THAT’S the priority!!! Friends CAN and SHOULD respectfully wait when he has a family to take care of, not his friends entertainments !!!

Are you sure you’re not the side chick and he has a relationship he’s maintaining outside of your knowledge?

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How long have u been with him?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is my boyfriend too involved with his friends?

I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Maybe I watch to much tv ,but I would be thinking he was living a double life.
I’m sorry your going through that ,but ask him to maybe make it a once a month thing instead.

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He wants the best of both situations ,grab him by the short and curlys and tell him to grow up…

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I think he’s got another family.

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Wow just stop he bought a house to prove he wants a home with u and your mad about some time with the boys I noticed your didn’t say we bought a home but he did hmm

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I think blended families are unique and if he is transparent and honest it should be recognized just as your feelings should be validated . At the end of the day life is what you create he finds value in his friendships that is a good quality to share with raising children. Speak honestly and create the family you desire

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Typical female
Friends are a threat
She will get rid of all her competitors

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He has a another family

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Slow down chica, once baby’s there alot will change, let him have his sweet time till then, everything seems perfect, don’t ruin it by wanting his attention all the time. It might put him off completely later. You are doing fine :+1:t3::+1:t3:

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they way he is now, he is already showing you, what your future looks like is, don’t think for 1 second he is gonna change, just because your pregnant, he bought you a house and your gonna live together.

you shouldn’t have to put a limit with him and his friends, he should want to do it, you shouldn’t have to even tell him, if he missed you so much, why is he always gone? You can’t force a boy to be a man.

he is not ready to grow up, consider yourself raising this baby by yourself.

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So do you get to go out twice a month for 2-4 days with just your girls also? To me that’s a little excessive. Every now and then sure but you best believe the same goes for me. I get to take off with my girls for a weekend get away too. Time away from family is important and not be dad, spouse, son/daughter etc but it goes both ways.

Double life or another family

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I think he can hang out with his friends 2 saturdays a month but he has to come home at night. What he’s doing now cannot continue once you have his baby. Was this baby planned by the 2 of you or was it an oops?? So, is he gone while you have your kids every other weekend?

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What work does he do

I’d be sitting him down and asking if he still thinks this will be appropriate when your baby is here… If he does I’d seriously consider doing it yourself

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Was he doing this before you got together properly and decided to start a family? If he was, you can’t switch gears now. He’s bought you a house and is going to take on your kids as his own, that’s a major life adjustment for him, going from single guy to married with 4 kids…cut him some slack,.he will calm down.

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Its giving brokeback mountain

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That little boy needs to get this priorities in order. Family 1st. Friends 2nd.

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You sure he is with friends??? I’m just saying

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You say you can’t see him everyday coz of your kids? Whys that and what’s he supposed to do then? Hopefully it will all fall into place when you move in together.

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Hope you can afford a good pair of Nike’s cause it’s time to RUN

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This man is cheating. Don’t fool yourself.

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