He sounds like a little boy , time to grow up your family are your friends, your family is the one you HANG out with and you need to grow up too
You have 4 kids and one on the wayš²
He needs to grow up, one day with his friends the rest with you
So why if you have your kids canāt you be with him also?
He lives at home with mom doesnāt he
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Even though ur pregnant run . waddle get out . Heās showing u where on the totem pole ur arenāt. Heās just gonna get worse - someday he might not return period!!!
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This relationship sounds pretty one sided, with dear o boyfriend going his merry way while you stay home and take care of house kids and him when he wantsā So, you already know the direction of it, except it or get out of the relationship; just saying. He wonāt change just because you change addresses
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The question you want to ask yourself is if you are happy with the time you have with him. Is this person in your life going to fulfill your needs. Going through pregnancy is tiring so it would be better if he was there with you to help you. He really should take responsibility since you are carrying his child. Should not have to go it alone. He should want to be there. Trips with friends is excessive. Is he really young? Are his friends single? He is living like a single guy. Rember this friends will be there even if you canāt go off on adventures with them all the time. Ok to take trips a couple times of year but with a family it should be a shared responsibility. If you are priory he would be asking if you have plans before planning trips with friends. Does he work and come home every night? Do you have family dinners and time together out side of just being his partner in bed? Reason to ask yourself this to see if he wants a relationship or is it just for an occasional good time between his outings with friends. I would make a list of what you want out of a relationship then a list of what is really being provided to you. Marriage will not change him so you want to ask yourself alot of questions to see if he is the right person for you. I would suggest sitting down and talking to him. Is he ready for a commitment? Ask him straight out. With a commitment comes responsibilities, being home more often less traveling with friends. Honestly you should come first. His career is important. Friends put on back burner. Friends could come over visit you both. Have you even met them? I would be asking questions. Does he answer calls anytime you go to call him? Not to say he is not being true to you but someone you want to ask yourself and him.
I think you need to talk and find a common ground. On both ends. Changing someone isnāt always a good relationship idea, but talking it out will hopefully helpā¦
Sounds like you chose to be with a much younger guy. At 32 years old, you shouldnāt have let yourself get pregnant with someone not mature enough to settle down and have kids. Good luck, your gonna need it.
I doubt he is spending all of that time with āthe boysā, sounds like he has another life going on that you are not a part of. I would not be moving in with him until I found out the truth. Do some investigating on your own. And please put your children first. You donāt really know this man and what he is up to.
Family and partner should come first
If he putting his mates first all the time then nothing will change
You need to be happy hun and have a man that does actually spend time with you more than this friends and show you that by doing it and not just say it
I would ask if he could maby cut the trip to once a month when the baby arrives. Though tbh I donāt see the issue with him being gone the weekend every fortnight. Some people need their space to stay happy. If you force him to drop the guys weekend you may find his mood may drop ect.
Iām someone who enjoys days away. Though since having my son the best I can do is drop my son off with my dad ( heās too young to come with me) and I vanish up a mountain of to a site of special interest with my camera.
Nothing wrong with spending time with your friends, however, a grown man with a woman and children and a child of his on the way, in my opinion he would want to be with his family! Iād find out if his actions plan on continuing once your moved in together, and knowing now how you feel about the situation, he should choose now, if so Iād find me another place to live with my children. Prayers for you. 
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Heās already telling you what you donāt want to know with his actions. You are not his priority. If he is spending that much time away from you, youāre not his priority.
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Iām afraid you are going to be second fiddleā¦Some men think they want to get married, but still arenāt ready to settle downā¦sounds like you may have one of thoseā¦every other weekend for 3 or 4 days seems like an excessive amount of time awayā¦actions speak louder than words, if he really would rather be with you, he would beā¦let that sink inā¦heās making his main priority clear and Iām sorry sweetheart, but it seems itās not being with you!
1st- Does he see your children. Hang with them, take them for ice cream etcā¦
2nd- Does he personally do things for you when you need help?
3- Does he understand and knowledge that there are going to be 4 extra people in the home and a 5th on the way? Will he feel overwhelmed.
4- How long have you guys been dating?
5- Blended familyās can be hard at times.
6- You have a gut feeling. You wouldnāt be asking.
7- How did the conversation go about moving in together? Did you ask him or did he ask you.
In my head, if you havenāt dated for at least a year. I donāt believe it will work. However I want to know if it does work or not.
He sounds a little immature and selfish. He doesnāt need to be going away so often . Heās a family man now . Women we also got to let our hubby at least hangout with their friends 1-2 times a month. But a whole weekend twice a month is a bit much. It is becoming a problem. Who cares what they think if they were such good friends theyād understand, once they gave a wife and kids theyāll finally get it. Hubby needs to say something and get his priorities straight.
We live in a very complicated society. First priority, meet his friends. Pay close attention to the Qās they give him about his relationship to you(Friend or Foe scenario). If foe you really have your work cut out for you, if they are single, you have even more work to do. Friends are an important part of both of your social lives but as I day it is a deal breaker if you discover they are your foe. I have married for 47 yrs. In my experience men donāt ever want to grow up. A child is the best incentive you have, kind of your ace in the hole. You already know your new child he doesnāt. Have him hold your baby in your tummy, have him talk to HIS child. Remind him of how great a father you feel
He is going to be.
Think long and hard before making a commitment to this man. Your children are your first priority now and i donāt see him as your partner in this relationship. He need a lot of growing up and this is not your job to do that. I hope things change for the better for your sake and the kids. This is your choice.
Give him the altimatum when the baby comes itās time to settle down cause itās family over friends anytime or tell him peace outā¦
Are his friends married or single? That makes a difference. It is very stressful when you have children . You are cooking and cleaning and the man is running free. But if you are happy to have a house for your childrrn then go for it. He wont change. Get your name on the house.
Ya he definitely has his priorities messed up, I mean I get not wanting to lose friends but if they were real friends theyād understand he has a family to take care of and should come first! Always! Some guys take a little while after the baby to change but sad to say some never do. Hope everything works out for you!
Hmmm Iām just thinking of two things here, either he is doing gay things or he has a serious lover who he uses his male friends as an excuses. But woman you need to put yourself together especially now that you are having a baby.
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You should do some good research about where and with who is he going on trips so much timeā¦ A good and honest man would be by the side of his woman and familyā¦ Or would take his family to a trip as well. Better make sure if that guy is not having another family and the house is not yours if you are not married and he bought it (at least if he put the house on your name)
I care deeply about people and love to help them but I would really turning to social media and a bunch of strangers to give us advice about us who know nothing absolutely nothing about our life
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First, did he, all of a sudden change? Was he already like this before you became pregnant? Did you love him then? He bought a house for you both to live? If you force a person to drastically change, and they are not ready, man or woman, most likely they will resent you. Evidently, you accepted him and loved him this way, but you donāt like the way he is.
He might say he wishes he was with you while heās out with friends but that is not true. If he truly wished he was with you, he would be.
Just wait till you have this bub he might change ,4 now heās playing with his single time ,if not you take him 4 the house 4 the children , yr on a win win situation.
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Red flags everywhere. He goes away every other weekend with his friends??? I can understand hanging out but actually going away for the weekend? Something is not right. If I were you I would not give up my own place and move my children in with him until he marrys you. You say he bought you a houseā¦is your name on that deed? If not you could be out on your butt with nothing. Something doesnāt seem right. I wouldnāt jump in too fast if I were you. Itās normal and healthy to have friends and your own interests but itās NOT normal to go away every other weekend!
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Why do people have v children together but not get married? Itās harder to get out of a mortgage than a marriage, but when a child is involved, there are so many legal issues that are resolved if you are married when child is born. I see people in court every day, trying to get the courts to untangle the mess.
He wants his cake and eat not good for a husband
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I refused to believe is with guys he is out all the time, he does not want to commit to your family so he do not make the time for you. So the friends he claimed to be with is none other than a women friend. He is not in any relationship with you and does not spend time with you or best unless he is bisexual or gay and prefer to be with men rather than being around you possibility exist. He donāt want to lose the other woman not other men friends, when a man put himself in the family way what on earth will you care more about friends than your family? Lady try and get a life for yourself and leave that liar with his friends. Albeit that you are pregnant.
I havenāt seen anyone mention the fact that youāre not even living with him yet you and you and 4 kids will soon be in the same household? I donāt see a good outcome to that since he seems to be living the single, no commitments life. I sure hope you have a good support system among your family and friends because you are going to need it. Where is the dad or dads to the other 3 kids in all of this?
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Are you friends with his friends? Ask them if they all had a good weekendā¦ā¦ watch for the reaction?
Itās excessive & seems a little fishyā- dig deep and find facts before you accuse anybody of adulterous behaviour!
Either way,you are pregnant with his child & have rights to know his weekend trips.
Communication is the key. Does he text ALL the time when heās with you? Hides his phone? Puts it on silent?
Their are lots of questions & behaviour you need to watch & ask about?
Red flagsā¦ā¦.
You need security with having a family,you need to know how your future will pan out.
Good luck & communicate. X
Are u blind,why another kid??? give him his freesom if that is what he wants, he his not going to be a father to this child ,heās too young as not mature yet, not that you are going to take any of our advice.
Wow. Howās bout you catch up with your friends instead of being so needy. You can love someone without living in their pocket 24/7.
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Make sure he is with his friends. Maybe he is leading a double life. (I watch the ID channel).
You say you asked or discuss this behavior with him and he said he wants to be with you, but does not want to lose his friends. If they are his friends they too will understand that he now has a family and their time with him will be less, no he does not and should not give up his friends, but he has to realize the time has to be less, now that he had committed to a child , you and other children in the picture. If he canāt see this than maybe you do have a problem, one that will not resolve after moving in and once the baby is born. This had to be, needs to be resolved before those things happen. There is nothing wrong with both of you having friends and friend time snd of course you both share time with each others friends, but there is something wrong when he thinks itās OK to spend "so much time " with just him and his friends. There needs to be a balance here. You and he need to discuss this further and come to an understanding.
I watch too much TV shows because first thing I would want to meet these friends to know they are for sure his guy friends. Thatās too much away time.
He chose to say heās camping so heās unavailable to you and canāt freely speak Iāll bet, but can text. Been there, heās cheating.
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Give him his space learn to love
Yours determining what too much asking
Other people is the wrong thing being too
Clingy and controlling will
Destroy a relationship
Heās not committed to you. You gave him what he wanted. He supplying a place for the baby to live. So get a contract stating how heāll support you and the baby. Unless, he thinks he canāt live without you. You youāll be second always.
Youāre not married so he can go when ever, proving heās not a family man plus your name isnāt on the houseā¦read between the lines
I donāt understand why you arenāt invited to at least one of these gatherings
Thatās not normal. If all the other guys had a life they wouldnāt be spending so much time away with the boys either. Heās got responsibilities and that means that he needs to be there to parent 4 kids. Heās not a 19yo with no responsibilities. The part which concerns me the most out of this is his fear of losing his friends. Real friends are never lost. You should be able to pick up where you left off no matter how long it has been.
U sure heās with his friends?
Are they males?
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Can you explain more why you only get to see him 2-3 days a week right now because of your kids? If he is planning on moving in with you what happens with the only 2-3 days cause of your kids? A lot of this post doesnāt make sense.
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Do you know if his friends have girlfriends or wives and if so how do they feel about it in deal with it I would also ask him on the days that heās there at your house if he Minds watching the kids so you can have a girls night out see where that gets you but I would definitely check on these so-called friends have you even met them and you didnāt say whether you have the kids full time or you share custody of them or how old they are I get all my ducks in a row before I put them in the basket and move in together good luck
He will not change. If you think a child will change him you are going to be very disappointed.
Well at least you know what youāre up against. Heāll figure out whatās important hopefully
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People are allowed to be themselves even if in a relationship. And the family thing is new to him.
Everyone needs there āMEā timeā¦ if you force him to choose you may not like the outcomeā:100:
Are you abs9lutely sure thereās not another girlfriend or wife involved? Sounds so much like that to me.
This is classic man behaviour when having their first child.
Mine ws hvn those trips all to find out thr wr gels brought along so he ws hvn 2 relationships colln textin all the time then i had to go to same town they went to guess nd he knew bt nvr thot tht our paths wl cross bt to my luck they did not sayin hz doin the same bt dig my sister b vigilent those trips are recipe fr disaster
Not whole weekends. Kids need a father whether their his or not.
Itās one thing to do something with his friends say one night a week but makes me wonder 2-3 nights theyāre gone where do they disappear? And this is a regular thing. Itās not an occasional hunting trip type thing. Have you gone over to the friends house out of curiosity to actually see if theyāre home those weekends
You will have 4 kids soon. Maybe think about them and what they need. Heās not going to be loyal to you and his baby. Does he have other kids? What if heās got substance abuse issues and that will always come first. How does he afford to buy you a house? A car ?Health care and food for a family of 6?
What is going on now will continue you have decisions to make
The great thing about dating a single mom is that they donāt put up with bullshit. With all that you do, you donāt have time for drama, for games, for bullshit like this.
So, why are you tolerating it?
If heās not making you and the children a priority, heās treating you like an option. Which means your relationship is optional. Which means heās acting like heās single. If he wants to act single,he should BE single. Disappearing for a weekend to is not an option when you have children to take care of. You have to put them and their needs first.
Youāve obviously had the strength to take care of your kids and provide for them before meeting him. If he doesnāt commit to to you and the children real darn quick, itās time to kick him to the curb. You need a man, a partner, not a fifth child to take care of.
This is a huge red flag for me. Itās not abusive per se, but it is neglectful. In these cases, I rarely see the baby being born improve their behavior.
While I agree that hanging out with friends is important for him,a whole weekend is a lot. He can spend a few hours or evening with friends once or twice a month and that would be more reasonable.
Ultimately, you need his help and for him to be a parent and being gone that often, unless itās for work is not acceptable right now.
Believe people when they SHOW you who they areā¦he wonāt change!
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He may change and he may not. But in all cases you are not allowed to force him to change. You loved him as he was, you accepted to have a baby from him,and the house he bought for you. Enforcing change now is a treason from your side.
Iām gone almost every single weekend during the summer, my girls and i are involved in CMO and going camping with girlfriends and visiting my family
My husband is gone almost every weekend during the fall and winter as he is a wrestling ref (his hobby not his regular job) 
we have raised 8 kids and still currently have a 16 yr and 8yr at home. I donāt think itās unhealthy at all. If it bothers you then sit down and talk with him about it, maybe you can come to a compromise. I personally love my weekends away and his donāt bother me at all.
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First thought I had too. Show me pictures from these trips.
There has to be more to the story. Do you also work? Do you contribute to the household expenses? Where would you be if you did not move in with him? If you found a man willing to take on 3 children that are not his by blood plus 1 of his own and buy a house plus treat you right I think you also need to give him space. You need to sit down before the move and talk it out but without demandsā¦compromise is a good thing to start with. Communication is also very important. Are the friends also family men? Maybe thru the women involved something can be worked out for all parties but you need to talk to each other before that move. Once you move in together you will see him much more on the days he is home. You have a responsibility to 4 children. He has a responsibility to just 1 child. Without commitment I would think twice before making that move. Good Luck to you and your family whatever you decide.
Run! My soon to be ex husband did this in the beginning too. Run fast and far
Iām 60 and enjoy my time alone when my honey is out fishing or hunting.
He will need to figure that out-maybe that will change once you all move in together and baby arrives but maybe not. That wouldnāt bother me at all him being with friends. Maybe you would be able to go also and see what these weekends are about. No harm. Best of luck 
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I think itās time to cut āhis boysā off.
He has kids, he is gone every other weekend?
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Open your eyes. Wider!
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He could be with his wife you donāt know about,
Sounds like heās not ready to settle down or be a father and is probably cheating
How does he work if heās gone that much?
So sorry to they have to tell you this youāve Race 3 on your own you can do 4 heās no good
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Why ,you have taken responsibility of so many kids ?
My ex was this. It doesnāt change after kids. Run
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A guy can love a lot of things. If you have to compete with the friends ( his familiar pattern, no big pressure) itās clearly a small % you are receiving from him. Just thinkā¦we work 40 hrs a weekā¦sleep 7 hrs a night ā¦commute 10 hrs a weekā¦Care for kids ā¦all the rest of the time. Mr Go away prefers that you do a LOT ( all that matters) without him. Cuz then he ll know you really love him? He doesnāt change a thing?.. Is not being a partner, a husband nor a father. LIFE brings changes. If he is playing with the boys, you are not in a relationship. You are agreeing you donāt need Your life needs met, that you are so good at doing The Work. Its like you are a man who does not want anyone to be serious, nor give up anything they like. Permanent friend level is not so good when there s an Amazing Womanā¦3 amazing childrenā¦and a baby. You need someone who Sees youā¦ and now knows he is Kinda done playing with boys. Cuz while he played with the boys beforeā¦he wasnāt happy and Took effort to find you. YOU cannot become a little sweet icing he wantsā¦while he also stays with his main Cake ( true love w boys, made promises they ll never leave each other). I Had a BF like that. His inventions, his meetings, his computer= no time for me. I got tired of the Invisible man. Itās not a Real-ationship. Please stop telling yourself he ll grow up. He is a lost boy. You are Wendy staying at home. Looking out at stars, wondering how he is and reading Stupid texts he wishes he was with you. His body is where he wants it. Not with you. Cut the cord or you are just a Convenience. I told my Bfā¦I am not pizza you can āfeel likeā having. When the baby is not sleeping, ur tiredā¦I bet he will say I donāt feel like _________(any of it). He can go be happy and have all the time by himself. You want Real, not this 1 sided Maybe/if he has time game.
No hanging out with friends Family comes first
Is he really with his friends?
To my point of view there is nothing bad about having friends
He was like that when you met him
, thatās the problem
Women always want to change the other person or they expect to change him
After they get a baby from them
Either you accept him for who he is
Or
Donāt be with him
And raise your kid alone , is not that he change as soon as he was with you , he always whas like that so why did
You accept it Iām first place?
Why did you get pregnant knowing
That you donāt like this things
? Why did
You stay with him if
You donāt like
What he does? Sometimes
We need
To ask
Ourselves this questions there is not
One immature here there are two immature or
Two that donāt think before they make plans. What are you going to tell him
Know Or You change Or
What??you fall in love for who he was , think what would happened if he will tell you well
I didnāt want to have a kid why didnāt you take care !the knife cuts both ways essentially what I try to say is donāt try to change someone that you knew in advance who he was, it wonāt happen and if he does it ,he will
Not like it inside and that will led him to other things or to leave you at some point you will have to work it out
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Sounds like a Lifetime Movie. Have you seen all these friends?
Sounds like he has another familyā¦
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Let it be and be thankful. Heāll resent you one day.
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Thereās another woman sorry 
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Friends!? Are you sure? Sounds like another family
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He is not being honest with you.
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YOU want to act like WIFEY but youāre Not! YOU canāt give Ultimatums! Why arenāt you getting married??? Hope the Best for you! CONGRATULATIONS on the Baby!!! Js
He will never change you might really rethink this relationship.
Until he is ready to make a commitment, you need to get out.
Follow him some weekendā¦something sounds very fishy to me. Just saying how Iām feeling it.
Check very well is either that man is gay or he has another woman out there he stays with
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Maybe your boyfriend is secretly married
May be he has another family may be he is gay may be is the key n instead of guesing just ve a serious conversation n ask all ur question n let him come clean
Sounds like he has another family š¤·No man spends that much time with friends.
Maybe his friends are his another girlfriend or a wife maybe
He has another family is my conclusion
I think once a month is fine. Everyone needs space. You and the kids should go with him or plan a weekend for all of you.
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Why donāt you offer to have his friends over to your home and set up some finger food so they can hang and this way you can be apart of his world. Just a thought!
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Run ! Run ! Run! This is not a man , this is a little boy.
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Iād like to know how this turns out in the end.
heās not married so therefore has no commitment
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