Lol the people saying she’s trying to change him? No. The circumstances should be changing him. You can’t have a wife, a child and a home and just be out with your friends on trips almost weekly. You can while you’re single, and don’t have children, but now he does and his time as a free man will change. 
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Reading half the replies to this question I can see why half of this crowd is single 
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Are you sure he’s with his friends and not his wife?
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Let him have time with his friends. Dude has already stepped up taking care of kids that aren’t his, getting you a house, and working. You said he loves you, shows you attention, and even helps out, deal with it. Mine goes to his friends house once a week to hangout. Let it go give him his time.
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I’m curious where this dude works to just get to take off all the time
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Get married first. Then he is committed to you. Then he can have time with his friends. Don’t cut yourself short girl.
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It gets worse lol. My guy does that and his friends just pop in without warning all the time. One friend has no care in the world about personal space. We could literally be having adult time and boom best friend is sitting at the end of the bed asking for a lighter. Was I pissed yes I was. Did it matter no. So honey all I can say is it gets worse you just have to get used to it
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I think weekends away sometimes are fine but definitely not every single weekend, especially since you’re pregnant & will be having a newborn. I would suggest maybe they come over to the house sometimes or do more things local, as a fair trade 
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He may just be trying to live the last bit of “his life” before the kid comes along. He likely knows that things will change and wants to make sure to soak up the last moments. Truthfully, just talk to him about your concerns and voice the way you want things to be once you deliver and y’all are living together. He may not realize the idea you have in your head of how you want things to be. Communication is everything.
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He is 32. (Sounds to me you just left your ex)Honestly it’s his first kid! Yes you have kids. Maybe he feels only slight responsibility (normal) I wouldn’t leave someone for that. If the baby is here and he continues the trips then yeah I would be pissed. Leave him until he gets his shit together or for good. This post doesn’t give any background or any kind of extra information for anyone to judge or give decent advice
Sounds like my ex same age. Twas a side chick not the boys or overtime. Now dude dont have a job, lost his house, had to take first chick he could get to move in with him and was talking to her whole time to have the doormat. He got in contact with me today and says he misses me after 2 months. Told me when we broke up he had been talking to the girl for over a year.
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It will probably all change when you move in together and the baby comes but sounds like you already knew what you how things were
I hate to tell you this, but some of these guys never grow up. I’d address these issues now before you move in with him. You’ll just resent him more if you change your life to be with him and he still does the same thing. Let him know what you’d like to see for your relationship together and if he’s not on the same page living together will cause you more stress. Communication is very important and you’re better off just going straight to him to discuss it.
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What does he work that he has so much time off 
he needs to grow up, no one says not to hang out with friends but not 3-4 days every week, who has that kind of time jheezzxx
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You need to talk to him tell him how u feel communication is everything. A weekend away every fortnight is way too much when you are pregnant plus have 3 children he should be helping out a lot more
He needs to grow up a touch. I’m guessing his mates don’t have kids or only alternate weekends, which sounds like they may do having the alternate weekend benders?! He has responsibilities. You are having his child. You are a package of 4 to begin with and at his age he needs to stop acting like a single man with a casual bond and go girlfriend. He isn’t going to lose his mates fgs, get a grip man! Excuses!! They’re all adults and all have responsibilities. He needs to realise this and accept that life in your home together isn’t all down to you. You are supposed to be a team and a family. You need to have talks with him and tell him that things need to change
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He hasn’t had to settle down yet because this is his first kid on the way and I think it’s normal for a coffee group of friends to spend at least one day every other weekend together. It’s important and healthy for their social wellbeing too. However as the baby comes he might start staying home now often. Most guys don’t really become dads until they actually hold the baby for the first time. Then reality sets in and they start to change. Let him enjoy his time till the baby comes then if need help you ask him and talk to him. Your other three kids are yours coming into not his, he takes care of all of you and I’m assuming them when he is doing perfect just hang in there, only well get better.
You sure he doesn’t have another family??
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So why can’t you see him when you have your kids? Am I reading that right?
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Lol actions speak louder than words…
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Sounds like he’s living 2 lives and already has a family 
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Peter Pan syndrome. Good luck with that.
LOOK like he got another FAMILY, an you the SIDE CHICK, something not adding up. Wake up.
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Weekends now and then yeah fine but all the time and for sometimes 4 days? Yeah, nah 32 with a kid on the way time to grow up…
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Sounds like he has another woman.
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Sounds like he’s has another female he’s entertaining… If while he’s away and only texting he’s definitely hiding something… When he texts you call his phone… If he doesn’t answer or makes excuses to why he can’t talk you have your answer…
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Once a week.max w friends if thst
You need to train him now before its too late
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Give him time, it’s a massive life change for him… it would be totally unfair if u try to stop him and make him change his entire life… he has brought u a house he is attentive and reassuring and gives u time and thought while away… give him the same consideration and try to understand it will take him time… u have had a few yrs head start on adjusting to home snd family life… he is obviously a gd man… dont ruin it or try to trap him in the house… after a while he will resent u… slow and baby steps and try to understand these friends are part of his family… give him time respect and thought when he is adjusting… its a massive life change for him to going from free as a bird to a household with 4 kids and huge responsibility… give him a break … he may just surprise u when the baby is here… he sounds like a gd man that won’t run away from his responsibilities… he has already proven that with the house
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Good luck. He will likely change once you have the baby and not necessarily for the good. Not trying to be negative but help pad the blow if you’re setup for disappointment. If he isn’t putting some self sacrifice now into things. I would definitely not expect it with a child. He has no idea. Stress will come and he will bounce to his friends as an outlet. I’d be having a heart to heart and stating upfront I am not getting into this to be emotionally and physically abandoned while you go do you. Be blunt. Because you will feel very alone and the one responsible for the world while his concerns and pressure don’t equate the same. Maybe he’s trying to squeeze in living before baby but most men who won’t become selfish after kids don’t exude this behavior now. Please don’t get your heart and hopes up. It’s better to know now than later on.
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Jesus, is this how normal relationships are?? Because I have my fiancé’s best friend come and stay with us for nearly two weeks a month. The rule is, you stay in my house, you help out. Wether that is watching our boy when we are doing housework or keeping an eye on him with us when we all go out. I knew how much the best friends meant to him and I adjusted to it. BY ADDING MYSELF, what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. Including friends, we have one week out completely alone disconnected from each other a month and honestly. I quite enjoy the peace and quiet, make him take the kids for a day. It honestly sounds like your a bit salty he’s going out and having fun and you aren’t. Where’s your friends? Why can’t you go out when he’s home for the day. There seems to be so much missing information here than just him going away every OTHER weekend. Maybe he’s realised that his responsibilities have changed now and he wants to have the chance to make a few more memories before his FIRST child is born. I’m assuming all of the other kids are older and not in need of super monitoring all the time like a new born. I say that because my fiancé freaked the F out when he realised he was now a parent and had to change poo explosions
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When my husband and I first got together he lived with his best friend and their parents. Not long after hubbs moved into his grandma’s bc he wanted to help her out. He would play video games with his buddies most nights after work. He worked second shift and I worked first or mids. So we were on opposite sleep schedules. After we had our last child he decided he needed some time with his buddies and I said that was fine. So they had one night a week they’d all get together and hang out. I still see my best friends every now and then but not nearly as much as I’d like. But this is what works for us. I’m only a year older than your bf and I always put my hubbs and kids before my friends bc yes my friends are important but my family is more important
I’d say that’s way too much time away from yall, his family. I could see every once in awhile, but not that often. Also, maybe have his friends over with yall for cookouts or such…
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Absence makes the heart grow fonder….use this time to focus on you, your children, your friends
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He already puts them first that won’t xhange
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I mean … when you get older your life will and should naturally evolve around your family . A family functions with the help of both parents , as it should. It takes a lot to grow up and accept the responsibility to be a man for his family but he needs to know it’s time. And actions mean more than words. By texting you “ wishing he was with you “ is a dog shit excuse. He could be with you if he wanted instead of being gone all the time.
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What are these boys doing for 4 days??? Sounds fishy.
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Oh girl he brought you a house and stays away all the time ??? Hmmm might be time to gps his ass and put a recorder in his vehicle 
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That man already had another life elsewhere
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That bromance is strong there 4 days every other weekends with the boys the fuck they doing
It is really healthy to have a life outside of a relationship. The man you love goes on brocations and if his friends are good people, then there is No Harm No Foul. It is completely unreasonable for you to ask him to change. Pregnancy isn’t a reason for him to change either. You made a choice to get pregnant by a man who hangs out with his friends. This is your choice—so get a group of friends and hangout. Go camping with your kids. Take road trips. Go do all the things you want. Sometimes your partner will be there and sometimes he won’t. Your relationship will be healthy and you will know how to take care of yourself just like your boyfriend takes care of himself.
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Technically he’s just a boyfriend. Sounds more like jealousy to me. I know you’re pregnant with his kid but the baby isn’t here yet. So he’s living his life. The other kids are really his responsibility
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Sounds like he needs to grow up
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He on the down low or trying to juggle to relationship. No grown man go on trips every other week with male friends
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is my boyfriend too involved with his friends? - Mamas Uncut
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I might be watching too many movies but are you sure he doesn’t have a 2nd family out there?
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He’s got another woman don’t move in have your baby take care of your children.
You deserve better know your
Worth.
Freinds don’t require thst much time.
Something fishy !!!
My bet his got a woman!
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He’s already shown who he is by his lack of commitment to you by not marrying you and yet having a child with you. He’s still a boy and his priorities are backwards.
Let’s hope fatherhood changes him for the better… otherwise you will just be living with this this behavior and character.
Red flags everywhere here!
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He definitely is not mature enough to settle down & be an adult in this situation!! He won’t change when the baby comes - - he still wants his freedom to run around. Are none of his friends married? Can’t believe any woman would put up with that treatment of being alone so much of the time!!
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You are being deceived
You will never be happy with this man. Unless he gives you total commitment. He is not a family man. He is still a party guy.You need a family man that longs to be with you and the children. Please don’t waste your life being miserable with this guy. He is not a man, just a party guy trying to deceive you so you can be a convenience for him. Like keep house, launder his clothed, cook for him and children. Run, fast as you can.
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I have girl weekends, my hubby has guy weekends but only about 2 to 3 times a year. The rest is all about family. We do lunches/dinners with our corresponding friends about 2 to 4 times a month for a couple of hours.
Your man is overdoing it. Is he giving you addresses of where he is going? Is he telling you who is going? I would check in to that. Good luck!
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He did it before you were pregnant,he is doing it while your pregnant and you think he’s going to change??? Where is that eye roll button. He hasn’t and won’t make you a priority just because you live together but he’ll certainly know where you are. Girl you in for a rough ride…
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Glad u know this before u marry cause he wont change,
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My first thought is this sounds like a joint custody thing… You get him this many days, someone else for that many… Are you 100% positive he doesn’t have someone else?
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Sounds like he’s having an affair to me.
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He’s not with his boys honey! If he was really going to commit to you and the baby he would not go out on a so called weekend with the boys. Open your eyes and don’t let him play you for a fool. Do some checking. See if he’s really going out with the boys. And not wine and dinning another woman.
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His friends should be important. You sound like you want to be to controlling.
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Are you sure you are your boyfriends only love?
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You guys have time to hangout with your boys? grow up a bit
If they aren’t scheming a business plan to raise all families up or searching God time should be spent with your family and raising your family up.
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Hes already showing you that his friends rank higher than you and ur child. If ur ok with being 2nd in his life, stay. Otherwise take ur kids and leave.
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Just so I have this right. 3 kids with someone else and a 4th coming with a guy who has not married you (and your 3 kids) AND he has already bought “us” a house. No legally he bought HIM a house. Assets before marriage stay his. Next up…he makes weekend plans without you and your not even married yet while you’re pregnant with his first child. Doesnt sound so great when I line it all out does it. This will be your life. No advice. Just showing you the facts.
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I think 2-4 day trips are a bit excessive but he’s texting you the whole time saying he’d rather be with you? Sounds like he doesn’t know how to set boundaries.
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I’ve been married 25 years to the same man. However, he does constantly text & call his friends. If I try to talk to him, he doesn’t even hear me for the most part. Therefore, if that’s what he enjoys, so be it. I just try to keep busy and do what I need to do for myself. He DOES need to get his priorities straight very soon! Those friends are not gonna be there in the end.
We are older and I’m not willing to waste much more time on someone who doesn’t think I am a priority🤣
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There will cone a point where family needs to be more important, it might alter when his biological bub arrives. He may feel the pull a bit stronger to become a family man. Not saying he doesn’t feel it with your kids but when hus bub comes it’s an entirely different experience, especially being his first. My hubby enjoyed a boys weekend 2 or 3 times a year if it could be arranged
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Every other weekend 2-4 day trips? Second family perhaps
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Good luck! You’re gonna need it with 4 kids ALL on your own. What possessed you to go for number 4 baby? Like your hands weren’t full with 3, this day and age. Children should come FIRST , for you are responsible for bringing them into this world ensuring a good stable & happy upbringing! Unless you were certain your boyfriend could provide that plus his devotion (considering you already had 3 kids) why bring another child into this uncertainty??? WOW some ppl just don’t get it and it’s the children that suffer.
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You need to have your own friends too. It is healthy for him to go hang with just his friends and go hang with yours. He will change. Once the baby comes he will want to be there more if he’s as good and you say. I am now married to my soulmate and like you I have 2 kids from my previous marriage and one with my husband. We have been going strong for 15 years and counting. I go out with my friends sometimes and him with his and then there’s times we go out with friends together.
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He’s just screwing you over. He’s sneaky and can’t be trusted. Tell him if he doesn’t want to spend weekends with you then get rid of that piece of s—-.
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Are you sure he is with his friends and not his wife ? Have you met his parents?
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Wow reading some these comments 
the key to a healthy relationship is communication. Yes say you feel every fortnight is too much ask if he’s willing to compromise and go once a month or once every 2 months. It’s not a sign of immiturity if he goes off for 2-3 days at a time (though depends on what they are doing though usually long trips are usually camping and fishing which isn’t immature). You deffinatly don’t want to change him ( it’s not your responsibility nor right to change him) and you don’t want to isolated him from his friends by forcing him to see them less! As that will just create resentment and the relationship to break down.
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Don’t listen to others who say he has another family and that kind of thing. Right now he’s just getting away with what he wants to get away with. Just let him know that you’re not going to continue to hang around if you are not the priority in his life.If he wants to be a priority in your life, The two of you need to become “ONE”. Relationship is a commitment.
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I would have a brutally honest conversation with him. I mean is he just spending more time with friends before the baby? Does he understand that his whole world is about to change? If he’s not willing to hear your fears and come to a resolution, I’d say live separately.
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This situation isn’t going to change. He is interested in partying and is very immature. Stay in this relationship if you’re happy being alone. You’re being treated like you’re less important than everyone else.
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Can’t make a man out of a boy!!
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You don’t have a leg to stand on. Because you are not married to him, moving with him without marriage will not make a difference. Have they stopped making birth control?
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The reason why you only get to see him 2-3 days a week is because of your kids? I’m confused by this statement
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You are a little late on this. Why can’t you see him because of your kids? Don’t mother him and be clingy. This will drive him away. Make the most of the time you do have together. If you oh complain it’s going to be on you❤️
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Honey, you took a bachelor off the street with no kids or anything- his priorities are totally different. When you have kids, your priorities change.
I have 4 kids, you’re gonna need his help. Chat with him about that ASAP.
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Get your tubes tied once you have the baby
Stop chasing this irresponsible man
You do not own this house, he does
He may already be married
He’ll throw you all out at a whim
Take care of your soon to be 4 children and don’t take on a fifth immature man-child
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He isn’t ready to be a father. You can’t change him. Close your legs darlin’
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You are not staying together yet, it will change once you move in together, happens naturally. Or dump him and be single with 4 kids and do this all over again with another man in future for the 5th child.
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Being at the age of 32 yrs. old, I would think he’d be more mature to want to be with you, than his friends. Just wondering too, would he still continue to go on trips, after the baby’s born?
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So if he misses you so much, why is he not with you? He sounds very immature for his age. He should be there to help you with the baby. I would think twice a month should be sufficient. His priorities are screwed up. It should be all about you, him and baby.
This is not looking hopeful.
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just be thankful he has accepted u and your kids and make the best of it.Get rid of your negative thoughts against your proveder
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I thought this way, “If you’re not gonna spend time with ur wife, then ur wife is gonna spend time with her friends.”
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You need to work this out AND soon!
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So every other weekend he’s with his friends? When y’all move in together he’ll be there everyday except those 2 weekends. So maybe see if he will try 1 weekend. He still needs space. Y’all gonna be all up under eachother when the baby comes. And relationships need air too. Compromise.
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Y’all have a great relationship when together, he just bought you a house! You have 3 children from a previous marriage, he enjoys his friends you have obligations to your children, and need to spend as much time as you can with them, once to the baby is born he will likely spend more time at home with you, and hopefully you will have friends to go places with and make friends together that you can both hang out with, a few compromises need to be made along the way, but don’t try to control him, just enjoy what you have when you have it,
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Are you married if not he feels free to hangout were and when he wants
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He’s not ready to grow up yet, don’t expect commitment from him, as longs as he is genuinely with his friends then try to get invited along too so you can meet them ,he might have them round yours then rather than spend time with them away from you all the time
Things won’t change if you allow a man to act like a boy all the time
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He shouldn’t stop seeing his friends however he needs to mature pretty quick and compromise. Maybe he can see them 1 night in the week and go out once a month on a weekend.
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Use caution dear. Sounds like he truly is not ready to commit to you or your little family. Please be xareful.
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It’s time for him to grow up… Maybe go out with his friends once a month. Maybe when his baby arrives, it might change. All the best🌹
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My first thought is that he has another family and he tells her he is with friends when he is with you. You deserve better
1 weekend night a week & not the entire night. But if I was you I’d drop him. He’s disrespectful to you. He should be helping you with the kids. He’s their stepfather even if you are not married. When you have a family it’s time to adult up & act like it. Are you sure he’s not involved with someone else ? Just seems kind of weird that he’s gone every week like this. Is Do some investigating. Good luck !
Are his friends married do they have kids. See what he thinks about one weekend a month with the guys, then a Saturday including everybody’s family. Make it very low key. A picnic in the park, BBQ, miniature golf games football, softball, baseball, bowling.
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There a chance he maybe hanging out with friends before the baby comes. If it continues after you have the baby, your really need to have the talk about where you fit in his life. He will have to figure out what his priorities are and who’s more important, his friends or his family.
You both may have to compromise on doing the buddy thing maybe once a month , so he can be there to help the rest of the time.
I can’t believe all of these comments! He bought a house for his new family! That’s commitment! Y’all depend way to much on another person for your happiness. Both of you should have friends outside of your relationship. When you get back together it gives you stuff to talk about and makes you appreciate the time you have together.
A lot of you seem to have been in hurtful relationships or watch to much life time, do not go about searching through his stuff to see if he’s cheating. He bought a house for you all to live in, once you live together he will start to settle. Bachelors get board living alone and find things to do. It doesn’t mean he’s having an affair or is a party guy. You are use to be in a “family” he will to. It’s okay just breath.
You can never or nor will ever change someone no matter how hard you try. He needs to grow up and be a man and a father. Big mistake thinking a baby will make a difference. Good luck!