My daughter can’t remember anything and at first I thought it was a kid thing but it’s to the point that I’m concerned. She’s never ever ever been able to find anything, she can stare directly at something in the floor and it’s like she just doesn’t comprehend what she’s seeing? Constantly. And now she claims to be forgetting things to the point where she literally cannot be trusted with basic every day things. Over the past year she’s gotten to where she no longer flushes the toilet because she “just forgets.” We have to remind her every single time she leaves the bathroom and if we don’t she would go all day and never flush. There was a day a week or so ago where she was the only one who had used the bathroom and i walked in to a giant pile of toilet paper, pee, poop etc in the toilet. She can’t take anything to school, a water bottle, mask etc because she never ever ever comes home with it and claims to have forgotten. They have snack time at school and we send her with one every single day and she often comes home hungry or asks her teacher for something because she “forgets” that she has one in her head backpack? It’s even gotten to the point where I catch her not wiping and she says it’s because she forgot. She’ll take her shoes or socks off and 30 seconds later tell me she has no idea what she did with them. I don’t even know what to do anymore because these are such basic things and she’s almost seven, I don’t feel like this should be an issue. Some people in my family have suggested she’s just being lazy, others have told me it’s normal for her age (I don’t think so) and others have told me to take her to a doctor. I need advice because I just don’t know at this point.
I feel lost and really just don’t know what to do anymore. I get occasionally forgetting something at school, that’s no problem but she can’t remember ANYTHING. The toilet issue is the worst one, like I said I’ve caught her not wiping and she practically refuses to flush.
Is this at all normal? Should I take her to her doctor and see if this could be a medical problem, or do you guys think it’s correctable behavior? I don’t want to sound dramatic at all but it’s genuinely to the point that I can’t trust her to do almost anything on her own
I would take her to her doctor. It kind of just sounds like she doesn’t want to do anything, but it’s also a little extreme as well so maybe there is an issue.
I have had custody of my 3 youngest grandchildren for the last 7 years. We moved out of state a little over 2 years ago. They still have
contact with parents via Duo and occasional visits when we visit home state. Recently, the 10 year old granddaughter has been using the same excuse, “I forgot”. She forgets things i just told her. She forgets to check in when she’s playing in the neighborhood. Then she forgets she’s restricted to the house for not checking in. She forgets her chores. And other things. When asked how she can forget so many things, she tells me her brain gets fuzzy and she forgets. I have chaulked it up to depression and missing her parents. Her counselor doesn’t seem worried. It doesn’t hurt to seek professional advice.
I would seriously consider having her evaluated for sexual abuse. I know that sounds random, but I’m a physician with experience in this area & what you’re describing is not normal behavior.
Honestly sounds like my kid and I’ve come to find out the toilet thing is pure laziness she just dont wana flush. The snack thing is that the teacher could have better snacks. And depending on ur kids age you could have let her use it as an excuse so much it’s now her go to excuse for everything u say shes doing.
It could really go either way. She’s either found the best way to get out of things and be lazy or there really is a problem. Just based on the fact that she forgets she has food and saying she’s hungry, I’d get her checked out. Better safe than sorry. If they run all the tests and it comes out normal, then you know it’s time to crack down on her.
It sounds like she has adhd. I have it and often find it very hard to remember things if I’m not looking at or thinking about it directly. I’d take her to a behavioral specialist and see what they suggest
If you’re that concerned then you as her mother should’ve already taken her to the doctor to rule out everything possible. As a parent if things don’t seem right with our child(ren) then we as parents should take them to the doctor regardless if it’s something we think is laziness as your some of your family calls it because if something is wrong and you wait too long you may not be able to fix the problem cause you listened to ppl saying she’s lazy. So take your daughter to the d*** doctor to rule out everything and if nothing medically is wrong then you advocate for your kid and ask for resources to help her instead of letting it linger on and on as you have been
Everything you just mentioned right down to the not wiping and saying they forgot is exactly what my son with Autism does and some of those things my son with Adhd does.
You could check out pediatric behavioral therapists in your area. There may be an underlying issue, there may not be. You know your child mama, & if something isn’t seeming right- it’s better to know and possibly find avenues to help her, than to have something be going on & not know & continuing to become frustrated.
Could be ADHD or another issue. I would get her checked out just to be sure. For snack time, try letting her pick out a snack she wants and see if she eats it. You can put a little sign in the bathroom to remind her to “wipe, flush and wash your hands!” See if those things help her in the mean time.
Give her short, brief instructions. Instead of clean your room, try small steps like “put the books in the bookcase”. Then give her a short break and give her another small directive. Maybe put a floating shelf with wipes across from the toilet to help remind her to wipe. Little things that may help jog her memory. Try to be patient!!
Honestly I’m 31 and I go threw this still I would check with the doctors just to rule out ADHD unfortunately Brain cancer and tumors and just have her check out however it so scary I’m praying and hope the best for you baby
Both my kids are like this. I put it down to laziness, I’m an over thinking worrier and this to me has never been anything other than lazy kids who do nowt xx
I agree with ADHD, my daughter has the same issue. We had her tested by the school psychologist. She told us my daughter can only follow one direction at a time. We also stayed close contact with all teachers
Working memory can be an executive functioning deficit and can be linked to some diagnoses that can improve with therapy. Occupational Therapists work in all areas of executive functioning deficits.
I would discuss with the doctor and possibly have a full comprehensive evaluation completed by a pediatric psychologist to see if she has any diagnosis that would encompass this deficit (and any others).
My daughter is like this always has been she has dyslexia and a memory disorder she will literally come out of the shower with a head full of shampoo cause she forgot to rinse
You just described my 8 year old daughter to a T.
My daughter has been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism and ADHD. We are now in the process of starting the medication journey .
Get off Facebook and take her to a doctor and if clean bill of health then start making her do things and have consequences for not doing them. I sincerely hope everything is okay with your child’s health
Could it be any of the things you mentioned sure could it also be something serious absolutely.
I’d start with the dr just to be sure I’m not about to crack down on a medical condition or something she can’t control. If all that checked out, I’d now wait at the door in the bathroom- did you wipe - I forgot ok go wipe - did you flush - I forgot ok go flush - wash your hands - forgot - ok go do that now.
If it is a case of lazy and she’s realized I forgot is now an acceptable answer it’s time to undo it. It would be a positive case of mom and dad are now here to make sure all tasks are completed by you even if you forgot.
My son is almost 7 as well and I have to constantly remind him about things such as to turn in his homework, remember his lunchbox, etc. so I just started writing sticky notes and taping them to his folder and reminding him at night and then again in the morning. Sometimes he still forgets but it’s a big help. (I know it might not seem like it but kids have very busy minds just like adults. It’s easy to forget.)
I’m adhd and had trouble w the flushing thing and now it’s a paranoia thing if I go to a public restroom. I do it at home occasionally but never remember if I did or didn’t in a public restroom.
Well. No one on here is a doctor to assume it’s anything. I have a son with autism and this never happened. Every child with autism is just that, a child with autism. Their own autism!
We usually need to start with the primary doctor and then get referred elsewhere. However it would be a good idea to go asap and not wait for what someone on here who read half an article to diagnose anything that is going on with your child. Best wishes!
Please take her to the doctor. It might be something that’s pressing against the memory part in her brain. I hope it’s not but better rule it out than to be doubtful
Sounds like ADD or ADHD. I would definitely talk to her doctor about it and getting her tested. Also please keep in mind the symptoms are different for girls then they are boys. I never know that until my oldest son was going through the process of being diagnosed and come to find out I too have ADD that was never diagnosed. As it turns out I used to forget everything as a child. I hope this helps. Always remember that you are doing a great job as a mother and you got this
Try one direction at a time if that works them ADHD if not Dr it could something else. Ask her if she’s having head aches at all as well explain what one is .
I have 2 boy’s, 11&12. And a daughter 16. My boy’s NEVER flush the toilet! It drives me crazy! I send snack to school with them every day also. And they say the same. They forgot they took one so probably either age, or that’s just her excuse for everything every time.
My daughter is 11 and has ADHD and we went through this forgetting phase from age 9 till she almost turned 11. It’s gotten better but we also had to higher her medication dose. Definitely see if maybe the doctor thinks she could be adhd. It’s common in kids with it. And yes so very frustrating. But good luck mama.
Yes, my son is ADHD and forgets everything and how to do basic things. You can talk to you child’s pediatrician about the Vanderbilt diagnostic test or see if it is something else.
My daughter is 11 and has ADHD and anxiety both SAD and GAD.
Please take that baby girl to the doctor. And I know your frustrated momma but so is your little.
It’s probably that she’s so in her thoughts (hyperfocused) that she loses track of everything else. I’ve been that way my whole life. If I’m busy doing something that has my full attention I will let forget to eat until I’m several hours overdue for a meal and starting to feel sick. She probably has ADD.
One thing I can tell you from experience, getting mad or upset at her or criticizing her will NOT help. It’s just going to make her withdraw. When you notice a thing she has trouble remembering to do, find a way to leave reminders, like sticky notes or something. It simply be more present when you can. Like if you know she’s on the bathroom, give her a verbal reminder to wipe, etc.
The best thing that works for my kids are checklists - for each particular task- in your case going to the bathroom- writing it down and sticking on to things that are in plain sight is helpful- flush toilet / wipe well/wash hands etc when packing up school supplies a written check list is the way to go - that way she can be independent
When in doubt- call your pediatrician. I GUARANTEE they would rather you come in for something silly than not come in for something serious. Trust your gut mama.
My son has aspergers, an autism spectrum disorder, and even at 15 this happens…
It’s normal for children on the spectrum.
I would probably talk to her Dr… advocate for her until you have answers.
As she gets older, this can become a problem with her peers. So, probably best to get answers and find methods that help her succeed at these things before it become a bigger issue (tweens and teens are awful!)
ADHD most likely. Although other mental health issues also present being forgetful as a symptom. For me, if I can’t find something I automatically start to have a panic attack because of a parent, teacher or now that I’m an adult, spouse because I know my forgetfulness is frustrating for everyone around me. So i build up this imaginary scenario where I am disappointing said people and freak out from the overwhelming pressure of not wanting to disappoint. It’s so frustrating!! Im glad you’re noticing!! I wish I had parents that cared enough to notice!! Would have saved me a ton of time, energy, emotion and money!!
She needs an eval. I suspect add/ADHD, but this can fall under the autism spectrum, as well as other things. Good luck and here’s to easier and kinder days to the both of you.
I agree with inattentive adhd it’s a thing, Object permanence is not a thing when you have this. Definitely get her in to be tested before it turns into an anxiety disorder
That’s got to be frustrating for both you and her. It’s odd that it hasn’t been mentioned to you from a teacher or anyone? How are her grades and class work. Try not to get overwhelmed with some of the little things that seem like big things. Get her checked out. Honestly if a pill or something can help her focus, you might feel like you have a brand new child. Good luck!
Have you had her tested for ADHD? It’s not diagnosed as often in females. But that’s where I would start! I suffer from pretty extreme memory loss due to ADHD, and I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult.
Take her to the dr it could be a form of epilepsy where they have absent seizures - I had it as a child - used to blank out and not remember anything after. Could be something else, but get her checked out xx
My 8 year old is like this, to the point he doesn’t even remember his ABCs. Can’t remember his birthday and thinks the police number is 9911. And we go over these things daily. He is severely struggling at school as a result. He is diagnosed ADHD and ODD and possibly Autism (has no been tested yet and doctors have said mixed things) we are still working on finding the perfect balance.
Sounds like short term memory issues with the school can test her for that and ADD. However make sure its not silence seizures. Yes it’s a really thing.
This sounds like my children tbh. My eldest has ADHD my 3rd has autism and ADHD and im starting to think my daughter has it too they are exactly lile this. One wears glasses and I have to keep replacing them because he forgets where they are. They always forget their beakers im constantly replacing them its frustrating xx
My 9 year old daughter was the same way (minus a few things) and she was diagnosed with ADHD. Since she’s been on medicine, she’s been so much better!! Even at school!
Sounds like my son
He has been like this since he was little and still is now
I’m now fighting to get him help, when he was younger the ex would have none of it and my boy has struggled a lot
Get her checked over
If you think in your gut that there is something wrong then chances are there are x
This describes my son to a T and he was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. He’s 9 now and his labs are looking like there could be a thyroid issue as well.
My 6 year old can’t tell me what she did in school or what she had for lunch and also will stare at something and look in the other room for it too. I’m glad someone asked this cuz I thought it was just my kid. I’ll definitely be consulting the paediatrician on this whenever she can get in.
Your going to think this is crazy but , I read an article of a man’s wife who had dementia/Alzheimer’s. He took her off sugar. The next month he said he had his wife back. She was to the point of not knowing him. Then after …she did. I was having trouble with memory and saw a neurologist. He said I was fine. I wasn’t. Later I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t make sentences. I would get my words jumbled when I spoke. In my head they sounded good but when I spoke , it came out wrong. I read the article and took myself off sugar. A month later my husband commented how much better I was. He Never comments on my health. I would suggest taking her off sugar. It maybe a food allergy. I know that sounds crazy. But maybe see an allergist. Also see a neurologist. Maybe together they can give you answers. God bless.
Ask her 5 varied questions and ask her to remember an address ask two more questions then ask her to recall the address
This is similar to what a dr will ask someone with memory lapses
so probably either age, or that’s just her excuse for everything every time.