Take the baby with u and go support your friends.
1 Like
It’s your best friend. You need to be there for her. If the situation was reversed, I’m sure you would want her there for you. My dad passed away less than a year ago, and I can tell you that having the people around you that are the closest to you is sooooo important. To her, she needs you and she feels like you are abandoning her, and honestly you are making it sound like its huge inconvenience for you, so you are coming off as being selfish 
9 Likes
I would bring my kid and be there as best as I could for my friend no matter what the situation was but ultimately it is up to you but I can say from personal experience if you are important to her no matter what happens down line between you two she is right she will remember who was there and who wasn’t .
It entirely depends on how old the child is. If the child is 2 or younger then I don’t think you should go, too much stress on a baby and it’s not exactly safe to travel right now with covid. I can understand where everyone is coming from with this; I can see why your friend is so hurt, and I can see why you’d choose not to go. I’m sorry you and your friend are going through this. I don’t think there is actually a “wrong” or “right” answer and it just boils down to what’s most important to you. I don’t agree with judging either party.
2 Likes
If she’s your best friend you should go.
It’s her mom, she needs you 
I’d take my child too. I have one best friend been there for each other 18 years I wouldn’t want her to do this alone
I have lost both my parents and I had alot of friends who didn’t come cause they had something else goin on. And honestly some are not comfortable being there. Since I lost my parents I don’t like goin anymore
How old is your daughter… Kids don’t mind the heat… They will play outside all day in 90 degrees so sitting at a funeral is no biggie. Stay hydrated.
Is everyone in this comments section forgetting about covid?
1 Like
I would do it for my best friend
Unless this child is a newborn, I don’t see why this is an issue. Honestly it seems like you are thinking about how this is going to be difficult for YOU and not about your friend. This is not exactly going to be difficult for a child, seriously, pack some stuff. 4 hours is not a big deal.
4 Likes
It’s your best friend…you should be there.
Ummm… how old is the baby/toddler? That’s crazy that people can’t keep kids entertained enough to be calm or quiet ijs. I have 6 kids, never had that problem. Plus when most kids are around ppl they don’t know, they are shy and calm bc they are scared. So I’d say go, give that support.
My best friend and I are there for each other through everything. When my sister-in-law passed when I was 17, she was there for me (and she even had a newborn baby girl and was married at that time). My daddy passed away in 2014, she was there. She beat my family and the ambulance to the hospital and she lives 30 minutes away. Then they had to fly him out and she dropped everything that night to be with me. Two weeks later her grandfather died, I was at the hospital all night with her holding her hand. My mother passed in 2018, my best friend was there for me holding my hand while I was holding my mother’s hand as she took her last breath (4 hours away from our hometown). She dropped everything again to be with me. A little over two months later, her grandmother died and I was there with her. Hell, she was even there for me in elementary school when both of my grandparents died (her and her grandfather came to both of their funerals). That’s what BEST friends do for each other. We’re both married and each have 3 kids, but if you have a best friend, you’re there for them. We’ve been best friends since 4th grade (I’ll be 35 in September) and we’re also 4th cousins, but we’re more like sisters. There’s no one I’d rather have holding my hand in tough times, including my husband. I know that sounds horrible, but it’s true. She’s my person and she totally gets me. Oh and my mother had her leg amputated when I was a senior in high school. My best friend once again dropped everything to drive with me over 3 hours away to the University of Kentucky to be with me during that too. So yes, take your baby to your friends mother’s funeral if you have to. If she’s truly your best friend, you should be there for her. Either way, she’ll never forget it. And losing a parent is one of the absolute worst feelings in the world and she’s about to have to relive that, you should be there to comfort her. But that’s just my opinion. 
3 Likes
Go. Just go. No excuses. I have 5 kids, 3 dogs and 3 cats. I’d drive as far as I need to with them for my best friend.
1 Like
I would do it for my friend in a heartbeat. I don’t care how far of a drive or who/what I would have to load up or deal with. That’s just what friends do. She is probably upset with you because A) she is grieving and b) she would do that for you in a heartbeat so when you wouldn’t do that for her, of course she’ll be upset. I’d be upset too. Worse comes to worse, hire a babysitter. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, take lots of snacks and lots of activities for your kiddo. If you have a tablet, take the tablet and make sure it is fully charged for your LO.
1 Like
Yes you should go and be there for your friend … hire a sitter or take her, but this is one if those monumental events in life where she needs you.
I don’t think your best friend would care if you child acts up during the funeral. She would just be comforted that her best friend is there. Just go.
2 Likes
I went to my best friends dads wake not the service but then she said that was mainly for family which was fair enough but i was still there and i took my baby it doesnt matter its being there. Life doesnt stop when having children just pack snacks and entertainment in the car im sure you can make it work.
1 Like
How old is your child? That’s your bestfriend. Unless your child under 3, I would go.
It’s your kid you know how she acts yea she’s your best friend and if she was your best friend she would understand too. Don’t let these people make you feel bad becuz your kid acts up in heat my daughter is the same. Pull the kid card anytime you don’t feel comfortable shit! Like why are you moms making her feel like shit for playing a kid card fuck! Do what you got to do. If you can’t get no one to watch your kid then that’s that.
You’re best friend just lost her mom you should still go, it sounds like she’s hurt because she needs you. Even if you don’t go to the funeral you can still go and be there for her. If you really want to be there for her you’ll find a way to make it happen. Even with covid19 you can go and still take measures to be safe.
I think you need to be there…
When my daughter was 2 1/2 the grandmother of one of my previous foster children passed and I wanted to be there for her. I sat towards the back near a door in case I needed a quick escape, brought a soft book and toy and told her to shhhshhh when the service was going on (otherwise it’s usually kind of low chatter anyways). By 8 I would think telling them to be quiet inside shouldn’t be an issue and if necessary, bring a book and sit in the hallway outside of the funeral itself.
I didn’t go to a really close friends funeral last year because I had my daughter with me and guess what the brother who is even a closer friend said he understood. And we still talk. So no don’t let these moms make you feel any different. Sometimes it’s best to make your own decisions without having to ask for advice or opinions because then you got bitches like this making you feel like shit for being a mom and worrying about how YOU KID will feel.
You have to be aware that your friend is going through a loss and grieving. I personally would go and do my best to keep my child under control (and I am a single parent of 4 so I’ve had to deal with situations). My philosophy is that you never get the chance to redo funerals or weddings- make the best effort you can for those you care about.
1 Like
You should go. Friends that are only there when things are easy are called fair weather friends, you can’t call yourself a best friend unless you’re trying your best. No excuses. No matter how hard.
There are things in life that are out of your control if she doesnt undetstand that she’s not your friend after all
1 Like
Take your daughter with you
My daughter couldn’t handle it. I don’t take her on drives longer than 2 hours because she is Autistic and long car rides are jarring for her. You know your child better than anyone. Do what you think is best.
I think you’re being unreasonable
You definitely are using the baby card. Go, if she is acting up walk away from the situation calm her and come back. You keep doing this till its over. You need to be there. No matter how stressful you think these few days will be for you, you need to think about your friend and think about how stressful and miserable her whole life has been since her mom passed. You are being selfish.
3 Likes
What Emily Patterson said
This is s time when your friend really needs your support, if she has no issue with you bringing your daughter then why not just take her and be there for your friend in her time of need, would you need her if the situation was reversed?
2 Likes
I put my 4 yr old in the car and drove for 3 days to get to a friend that needed me.
7 Likes
Uhhhhh you’re not her best friend. That’s a shit excuse if you ask me. If my besties mom.died I’d be there in 28 hours with 4 kids and a large dog in tow. (We live on opposite sides of th he country)
I think you’re selfish.
Be there for ur friend whether u have kids or not would u not be mad at her if the shoe was on the other foot ? I know how tough it is losing a mum mine died in April and I couldn’t have got through it if it wasn’t for my friends
3 Likes
Kids often bring light in the dark times. Even if you have to stand in the back if she gets fussy, just knowing you are there would be beneficial to your friend. I couldn’t imagine reliving such grief a second time around. Best of luck & thoughts & prayers for your friend.
1 Like
Yes you are being unreasonable. You are playing the baby card. It’s not fair for your kid? It’s not fair to her, she lost her Mom! You should be there. Your kid will be fine. I have brought my kids to several funerals. I have also made the 7 hour drive with 3 kids to see my MIL simply because she asked to see them. Plan for a few stops on the drive. And if she acts up at the service excuse yourself and return when able. The while visit will be filled with other moments when she needs you, not just that hour.
I would have your husband call out of work.
Should be there for your friend during this difficult time
I dont think she should be upset, with your situation and whats going on, she should know is NOT in your hands, she should understand, so try to talk and if she doesnt understand, she is selfish herself!
1 Like
My daughter came to two weddings with me at 7 days old and at 4 months old, both days were very important to my auntie’s so I went, and we had to step outside in the middle of the service, and I left by 9:30 for the first wedding and 11:00 for the second to get baby to bed. Personally if my best friend had a huge loss in her family and wanted me at the funeral I would move heaven and earth to be there for her, because that day isn’t about me it’s about my grieving friend. I couldn’t imagine losing my mum x
4 Likes
If thats truly your best friend you will find a way to be there for her. I once read “ if it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse”
5 Likes
I’ve had to miss things such as weddings and funerals for great friends because of my kids. You have to do what you have to for your family. That guilt trip is not fair.
2 Likes
You should bring your daughter, she is your best friend. Figure it out.
1 Like
Nope. You are the unreasonable one. Wow. You should probably have a funeral for that friendship now.
So slack.
2 Likes
Idk… if my best friends mother died I would do everything in my power to make sure I was there to support her. I brought my two month old to my cousins memorial in the dead of summer and I also went to my best friends wedding, 5 hours away, two weeks after I gave birth also in the dead of summer. I get bringing young children to formal events is difficult sometimes but there are things that are more important than a minor inconvenience in my opinion.
2 Likes
Please don’t call her your best friend. My best friend lost her much awaited baby the day before my wedding. She still showed up as my maid of honor after I begged her not too. She still showed up!! My uncle died 2 days before her wedding. I was the maid of honor. I was there still present. You just don’t want to be inconvenienced. At this rate, I hope you have people there for you in your time of need.
3 Likes
So glad some of you ladies aren’t my “best friend”. Stuff happens and people cant make it to things sometimes. Doesnt mean you are giving any less support.
13 Likes
Life doesn’t stop just because you have children. The child isn’t sick, you aren’t sick. Piss poor excuse as far as I’m concerned.
2 Likes
Take your kid and a notepad with headphones and games on it.
Oh and a bag full of no sugar snacks.
2 Likes
Some of you ladies are being unreasonable. We don’t have the full story to start with. And do you really expect this mother, little own yourself, to drag a child in a 8 hour round trip (not including time spent in her home town) in the heat. This child will be cranky and restless and down right unhappy. This mumma can’t ask her husband to chose time off over his job as so many ppl are losing jobs because of this pandemic. Now let’s get started on THAT. We are still in a pandemic and you want this mumma to risk her child’s health. I’d like to see some of you do this but you won’t. She’s not making “excuses”. She’s choosing her child’s health and wellbeing. It doesn’t mean she is grieving any less or showing her support for her friend any less. And I think it’s pretty selfless that she chose not to go because her child may cause a scene at the memorial over going.
4 Likes
If she’s saying it’s okay then go!
She needs your presence there!
Your friend needs you support. When my mom passed many people including her sister & best friend (since they were 4) made up excuses not to go to her funerals & not be supportive of me. I remember that 15yrs later & neither are in my lives. Neither have or ever will meet my younger children. They proved to me that they never cared about my mom or me. That they manipulated my mom her whole life.
I understand you’re in a bad spot. Taking a child to a funeral isn’t the end of the world. It’s not the best situation. But if you absolutely can’t find someone to babysit (I understand, I’m a single parent & have not done anything without my child in 19yrs because I’m the only person who can take care of them) then take her to support your best friend. Otherwise you’re not the friend she thought you were.
2 Likes
She is still trying to cope with losing her mom. Just give her time. Maybe show up for the wake and don’t attend the actual funeral so tour baby doesn’t disrupt
My daughter was born 10 weeks early by emergency c section, one of my best friends weddings was 12 days after she was born. Hands down I still went and I would have never forgiven myself if I didn’t make the effort to go, I didn’t stay super long but I stayed for the ceremony and for their first dance and some food. Personally if it were me and it was my best friend me and my daughter would be doing the road trip, make it fun, charge your phone/ipad up and have Netflix or something that will keep her occupied for a while, play i spy, take books, whatever will make the drive easier but no way would I miss it for the world. If its your best friend go be with her she is burying her mother incouldnt imagine that ever being easy 
2 Likes
It is manageable if it means that much to you, I drove 8 hour with peem twins 1 month old to make sure that my great grandpa got to meet them if it is important to you you can make it happen.
4 Likes
I agree with your friend
1 Like
No, she’s not being unreasonable, but you are. Having kids is a part of life. Taking them places that you go, even when it inconveniences you? Also a part of life.
If you were a good friend, this wouldn’t even be a question. 
10 Likes
I’d probably bring my son, providing my best friend was okay with it, and bring lots of toys and games and food etc. I’d get there super early so we weren’t frazzled from the drive and everything. That’s just me. My son and I are pretty close and I know he would be chill if I made him comfortable. I think maybe your bff is upset and hurt and missing her bff, while I don’t think what she’s saying is “fair” as such, I do think it would be appropriate to meet her in the middle with you can come if she is okay with your daughter being there too.
I do not think she is being unreasonable. She needs your love and support. She needs you there. And I think you will probably regret not going.
Honey dont listen to all the mamas bashing you, you’re not a bad friend it’s tough having a young baby and your friend isnt being unreasonable shes just upset and hurting dont take it personally I can see you’re trying to be considerate and respectful for your friend, shes still trying to heal from her loss so dont take the things she says seriously, people can say very hurtful things when grieving, with that being said I would say try and make it to the funeral though, bring a tablet and some headphones with snacks and that should help keep your little one occupied and if she gets fussy just pick her up and walk away for a minute
She needs your love and support, you’re not a bad friend but it is difficult to carry young children places especially in the heat or when they have to sit still for a while and keep quite it’s not easy
But dont let that stop you, go support your friend its gonna be ok
1 Like
My niece went to her friend’s funeral and niece is in ICU with covid and her 18 month old and 11yr old has tested positive. Please don’t take your child to any type of indoor gatherings.
3 Likes
I think you need to be there with or without our daughter. She needs you right now
No excuse, bring your baby and attend the service
I wouldn’t go because of the virus.
You sound like a terrible friend.
3 Likes
If you’ve never lost a parent, then maybe you don’t understand. If you’re her best friend you need to be there. Your child will sleep most of that car ride.
4 Likes
My child is a crazy little hyper super active 3 yr old and I’d still go. I’d be prepared for the looooong drive possibly with a screaming kid but I’d still go. I’d probably have to chase my kid down isles and under pews or chairs but I’d still go.
You shouldn’t be going anyways, you don’t know where they have been . You’re driving 4 hours into unknown territory right now because of this virus
1 Like
Personally, if its your best friend, you make that shit happen. I agree its excuses. She obviously doesn’t care if your child is there, she just wanted your support at her moms funeral. She will probably remember forever her best friend bailed if you don’t go.
14 Likes
My mom passed away over 10 years ago. Had my friend not come, I would have been hurt. Show up for her. She needs you
6 Likes
If that was my friend i would spend the night at her house and still go but your reasoning is understandable…
If she is truly your best friend, then yes, you should be there. No excuses!
4 Likes
Her mom died and you can’t figure shit out?
5 Likes
Get there. Be there for your best friend.
3 Likes
She’s grieving and needs you. I get your way of thinking but she needs you more than you knowm
1 Like
Personally I think you should take your daughter and go. Be there for your friend she needs you. You will take care of your daughter no matter where you are, so you should go and be the best friend you can
2 Likes
Idk I think u should take ur kid n go anyway. That’s ur bff n this is the one time she needs u most. Funerals aren’t optional. U must go
1 Like
with covid it seems prudent to stay home, and it is acceptable to have concerns about how exhausting the trip would be for your child.
2 Likes
I’m sorry but if you don’t show up to your best friends mom funeral… why kind of friend are you? She is your best friend = be there!
1 Like
Took both of my daughters to funerals… It’s a part of life and the sooner you introduce life, the good and the sad the better adjusted children will be. Death is a part of life… Oh by the way they are 36 and 39 now and Very well adjusted adults.
1 Like
Can you go the day before? Break the drive up in to segments? Get out to stretch your legs on the journey? Take a picnic and make it a mother and child adventure?
She probably won’t forgive that and your relationship won’t be the same and you will regret it if you don’t go.
3 Likes
My best friend bailed on me when I lost my partner (April 2019), we haven’t spoken since.
2 Likes
If she’s okay that you are bringing your daughter than go. If you have to leave the service because it’s too much for your daughter than you at least showed up. If you can stay with her and be some emotional support that would be a plus. Does she have siblings? When my dad passed away and just wanted my family more than anyone.
1 Like
I have a large family and there was 1 infant, 2 toddlers, and at least 5 other kids at the funeral for my dad. It’s just something that gets done. Being there for someone who has lost a parent is VERY important.
1 Like
No matter what go…see if there is someone in ur home town that can watch her for the funeral if not take her…I’m sure she wont be the only kid
1 Like
The real question is how old is this child??? That alone changes things. If you have a newborn I get it but if the kids like 10 then it shouldn’t be an issue
2 Likes
Kids are no excuse you should be there for your friend if kids are an issue for people than they shouldn’t have children
2 Likes
My best friends Dad died 2 years ago, I have 3 kids they had just started school. I live in South Florida and she lives in Georgia. He father and family live in Missouri. I dropped everything and got on a flight to drive to Missouri and be with her. And if needed my kids would have went in tow. My bestie is my soul sister. She needed me and I needed to be with her. She will remember this and its going hurt her for a long time.
I would say bring your daughter and go. She’s your best friend. If my best friend hadn’t been there when my first husband died, I don’t know if I could of gotten through it. Is there someone else who can watch your daughter? Your parents or your husbands parents?
Wow, if you are even questioning if you should go I don’t think you are this woman’s BEST friend.
5 Likes
As someone who has lost someone VERY close ( my daughter), grief is a scary, messy, unpredictable thing.
Honestly, your daughter would be fine to go. Most people would travel that same distance for something enjoyable for their children.
Is what she said unnecessary? Yes BUT when someone is hurting from a loss emotions are something else
3 Likes
I would personally go…good luck with whatever u decide
I would take my child to support my friend . It’s an emotional time for her I’d rather be in trouble for my loud child rather than full on bailing on someone
3 Likes
Your daughter comes first. That’s not fair to your child to drive so far. I understand your friend is hurting but even with this virus you need to be carful
3 Likes
My mom recently had a brain aneurysm rupture and has been on life support for over a week now. If God forbid she doesn’t pull through and my best friend doesn’t show up for me 3 hours away then I would be throwing away our 7 year friendship. This is the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced, probably the same for your friend. I don’t think you’re understanding how badly she may need the support.
6 Likes
Bring your daughter snacks let her snack the entire way. Bring a tablet or phone with headphones to keep her entertained sit near an exit just incase. Ive taken my son and brought him snacks and it wasn’t bad.
I remember vividly who was there when I lost my Mum…and i remember just as vividly who wasn’t, who made excuses, who put it on me to make arrangements to accomodate them. If it’s your friend and you give half a shit… you’re there.
4 Likes