My husband grabs his male cousins ass all the time but usually when they’re drinking in a joking manner, vice versa the cousin grabs him too. They always laugh and fight each other off then try to bring me into it by saying, “he’s grabbing my ass, are you going to let him, kick his ass” I honestly think it’s normal they grew up together also. Just one of those things where boys will be boys, try to not take it so seriously.
Ew these comments don’t pass, sounds like a couple non toxic men to me.
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I don’t think this is normal, I have never seen 2 brothers or very close friends, caress each other, unless there is something going on between them. Now a light punch in the arm, or slap on the head, that I could see as normal. But caressing is caressing, That is an intimate behavior
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If they are that comfortable caressing each other in front of everyone I would think they are doing more in private.
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No. I’ve seen men joke in a “gay” manner. That’s NOT normal. Especially if they’re saying they are “like brothers”.
Idk. But my husband has a “like brothers” best friend. And their jokes, end at jokes. There’s never like. Physical cuddling or anything.
Might be some “blow me” comments.
But. Definitely ain’t no cuddling.
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Not “normal”. I would find it very odd & off putting if it were my significant other as well.
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If your gut is telling you something is off, then it is. Women need to start trusting their intuition because it is always right. Of course, you haven’t told us how long you have been married. I am thinking not long because you just went to your in-laws for Christmas and it was the first time since you have been married. There are so many things that might play into this situation. I don’t define people by who they kiss, hug, cuddle with, etc. However, if your husband likes men, you surely need to know about it. I dated a man when I was younger and I thought he was heterosexual, but come to find out, he was bisexual. All find and dandy because we were not exclusive and were just casually seeing each other. I dont have anything againt bi-sexuals, I just don’t share and he wanted to see both men and women. Since it is bothering you so much, you need to ask some hard questions and hope he is honest with you. Also, start paying attention to how much time he spends on his computer, phone, etc., Does he take his phone in the bathroom with him? Start paying more attention to his habits. If you really want to get hard core evidence, they make tracking devices you can put on his car to find out where he is going. Good luck honey.
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My step grandfather was a homosexual his entire life he also was married to my grandmother until the day he passed…
But as for your situation no it’s not normal behavior for best friends to caress hands and thighs…
Be straight forward and just ask?
Boys are so weird. I guess go with your gut. My husband has friends that act weird and tweak each other’s nipples… sometimes they will sit on each other’s laps but they are very macho and even tho it’s weird. I know they are just being silly.
Not normal. My husband grew up with his best friend and if they did this, I would be assuming the same thing you are. Definitely not normal. I showed him this post and he agrees. There’s something more to this situation. Especially if it was not as a joke.
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Not normal, I’ve grown up with all brothers and have four sons
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That’s just a little to comfortable for me
What the hell yall? Normalize masculine affection! If this is how your husband is comfortable with his friend, let him be comfortable with his friend!
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Completely not normal for a married man to be doing this with anyone but his wife. If it makes u uncomfortable, then it’s not ok. Run while u can!!If the situation were flipped it wouldn’t be ok, so why is it cute and ok for a married man to do it?
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Run. !!! That’s not normal !!!
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Women do that all the time and no one blinks. Now to be clear, I think it’s odd when anyone does it regardless of gender. But as someone who found out she married Howard Brackett, I’d be having a very serious conversation. No jokes. No teasing. No judging. Open, honest, and direct.
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It is not normal for a man in his 40’s to show that much affection to a friend. Especially if he isn’t like that with his actual family.
Since he got defensive with you teasing it must be a sensitive subject for him. I’m sorry but I think there is some Broke Back Mountain tendencies.
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Not normal ive been there.get out
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Not normal they use to mess around
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This is a unique situation for sure. No one is perfect and only you can draw your boundaries. Lots of opinions on here (and that is what you asked for). Perhaps pray or meditate or marinate or sit with or on it for a while?
Definitely not normal. Get out while you can. Trust your gut!!
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Cuddling is a bit much!!!
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Wtf?! NOT normal… GAY 
If your gut is screaming it isn’t right….it isn’t right!
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Go with your instincts! I had the same thoughts for a while about my ex.i divorced him for that reason plus others. Now years later I found out he visits male gay porn sites. And his now wife who looks like a man doesn’t even care ! So Hmmmmmm?
Yeah, not normal. You need to sit and have a very serious conversation. Your guy feelings are usually l
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When ppl show you who they are believe them
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Jfc. Let men have platonic love and affection for other men. We wouldn’t have as much violence if men were allowed to be fucking vulnerable and intimate with people. Would you have these issues if it was two women cuddling? Doubt.
My husbands childhood best friend, who is also our kids Godfather lives with us. We have gone through a lot, deaths on both sides of our families and they have cried together but I don’t think I have ever seen them behave like that.
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Does he rub on you like that??
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That is absolutely NOT normal behavior especially for men
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Lol. Hmmmm. My hubby is this way but I’m very aware that he’s joking. He messes with his friends constantly. Calls them his girlfriends and such.
Follow yr gut. And I’m super touchy feely and don’t do this as a woman with my friends and neither do any of the males I know except the ones that are together. Especially since u can’t put yr finger on it SOMETHING IS UP OR WAS
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Listen to your inner voice.
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My husband would knock his best friend out if he touched his thigh or cuddled with him 
trust your instincts …
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I lost it when you said cuddling. Something obviously isnt right
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Your husband came running out of that closet in front of you, God and everyone. If that’s not telling everyone you’re gay, IDK what is. 
I’m so sorry to be so blunt honey, but it’s not something a straight man would do, and I know this for a fact. Like another person said in this thread, when prove show you who they are, believe them.
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Not normal. Sounds like you’re a cover up.
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Yeah, that’s not normal behavior. My best friend and I have been best friends for over 30 years and have been through a lot together and we don’t caress each other. Hugging each other is one thing but sitting next to each other all day and caressing each other like that isn’t normal behavior for anyone, not just 2 grown men. I’d be uncomfortable watching anyone touch my husband like that.
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These comments are disturbing. There’s nothing wrong with two straight men cuddling.
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No, that’s definitely weird af.
Definitely not normal. My husband would lose it if some other man touched him.
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Wow. A lot of homophobics in this group. Sounds like your husband is very comfortable and secure with his sexuality. Wish you could be too.
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My sons friends do this (but they are kids) maybe that it how he grew up? just real “touchy feely” with his friends? I can’t imagine they mean anything by it or else they wouldn’t have done it in front you and everybody else. Did you talk to the sister? I wonder what she makes of it.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much unless, you see them talking/seeing each other often…
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I’ve been with someone who wasn’t heterosexual, and it took me 3 years and a lot of heartache to find out. This reminds me of that. If he’s not ready to come out, it’s going to be really difficult for you to get the truth out of him too. This is where you have to make the best judgment call for your life and happiness.
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I mean I watch a whole group of men slap each other on the butt and joke around with my husband and he gives it right back to them. They’ll even plop in the others lap for a few seconds and hug then get up and laugh. They are all his best friends and they do it in front of everyone even their family so to me this isn’t weird.
You have the gut feeling for a reason, trust it. Completely not normal behavior for 2 straight men. Reminds me of broke back mountain.
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The fact that he doesn’t have the same thing with any other men he’s close to is what sets off my radar. Something is fishy here.
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A lot of people in the comments are forgetting that sexuality isn’t black and white. It’s possible he’s bisexual and has had a previous relationship with this man.
I would handle it the same as if it were a woman. Just communicate that you are his wife and don’t like it when he touches other people like that.
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I wouldn’t want him getting caressed or touched by another woman either, I don’t think it’s wrong to be confused. Would he ask questions if he seen you doing that with another woman?
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No, that’s very weird…
Normal for homosexuals to behave or bisexuality.
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Its as obvious as can be girl take odf the blinders u cam be close extremely with someone vut u dont do that with a same sex friend unless theirs something there idc how long u know someone or not u dont do that ubless theres something going on
Very Close and lifetime girls and lady friends act similar. Why can’t it be normal for men?
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Extremely weird… your 1st instinct is probably the correct 1.
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Men nurturing each other & being affectionate is woke level adulting. It is not gay.
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Let me say this ….
Women have best friends who they have seen completely naked . Or have held hands . Or have grab each other’s butts . Or breasts . They have cuddled ……
Women can do all that without judgment . Why can’t men ? I’d he’s comfortable in his sexuality , what’s the issue ?
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That sounds really weird. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is more to it then meets the eye.
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Don’t read to much into it. Maybe give him more physical affection… it’s more than likely just his love language
If this is the only guy he’s like that with, he may just be like that. If they were DL you’d see signs.
If you think it’s more, just ask. 
You said it yourself…this isn’t how he acts with his friends or brothers. So yes it’s weird because it’s not normal for him to act that way. Makes me wonder if maybe they had something back in the day?
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they’ve slept together & your husband is bisexual if you have an actively sex life w/him! He should’ve told you
It is hard to answer this one. If it was done in the open where every one could see I would say just very close.
Invite him over for a 3 way. Or just sit down and have a heart to heart with him! Sometimes accepting things as u see them will help a lil better. And he’ll be more comfortable with talking to u
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It’s definitely weird and NOT usual behavior amongst close friends. There’s more to it. Your husband may be in denial himself about his feelings towards his friend. Either way, I would tell him it’s very inappropriate for another person to be touching and caressing him like that because he’s married. It’s disrespectful to you and your relationship. How would he feel if another person, man or woman, touched and caressed you? Bottom line is it’s disrespecting your relationship with your husband.
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There’s a difference between getting ya bollax out and getting changed infront of ya mate or boobies out Infront of your girl friends…
I wouldn’t let them caress my boobs or my thighs come on… 
Definitely something not right there.
I’m a joke kind of girl tbh I’d offer a 3some to see what he says you’ll get your answer then I’m guessing
I don’t know I have never in my life seen two straight men act this way it seems very weird to me. My first instinct is that he is bi and they probably had something going on in the past. You should really have a talk with him if it bothers you so much. Good luck!
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My boys will literally do just this and will go in for an almost kiss, compliment each other in an over the top way, then go “ey bro you gay!” or something similar but that’s them being playful with each other. They’re 15 and 14 yrs old.
They where lover’s in the past…their still in the closet yet can’t keep their hands off one another because they are attracted too one another…
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I think that’s weird, just my opinion
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Not normal. Go with your gut.
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Just ask yourself, if it was your brothers wife would it be okay that they’re cuddling and caressing each other? No? Okay, same goes for men caressing other men. Not appropriate behavior at all and it’s very likely he is closeted bi and they might’ve had a thing together. Check his p0rn history.
So, this comment thread is my signal to unfollow. The toxic masculinity and homophobia is strong. There is no normal, thats not universal. Everyone is an individual. He did this in public, I don’t think is anything appropriate. Its ok for men to be affectionate with each other.
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Old friends will hug it out coming and going but cuddling and caressing usually indicates intimacy in the past, present, or future
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Don’t ignore your gut feeling. You need to sit him down and talk to him…let him talk don’t get upset and throw out accusations, just talk to him as a friend so he feels comfortable talking/ opening up to you. Then after talking about it you can handle it as you wish. I’m getting the opinion that something might of happened in the past between them.
Your man loves the sausage.
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I think your best bet is going to be to sit your husband down and have a serious talk with him. Tell him how you feel and what you think and see what he says and how he responds.
What normal is not for others? Can you live with it?
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I’d find it super odd too if he was only like that around one certain person an not the others too…I don’t even do that with my own family and friends and I’m a bisexual woman, an the one highschool girl"friend" I was like that with, was my highschool sweetheart. 
That’s not right at all 
ALWAYS follow your gut. That’s weird… really weird 
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Your reading to much into it hun brothers are allowed to love each other don’t pervert it. I would just recommend to talk to your husband and really voice your concerns with him more and be open with him about how you can’t stop freaking out and worrying about it. And if anything if you don’t feel comfortable with him ask him to tone it down because it make u feel like he being too gay he should understand. Good luck
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It’s weird. Weird as f*ck actually.
Her husband’s reply probably
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Anyone who’s secure in their sexuality wouldn’t get defensive or offended by being called another one even jokingly.
If they’re secure in their heterosexuality being called gay as a joke won’t be offensive or anything to get worked up over.
He might just be extremely closeted tbh.
Maybe they are close like that but if it’s only that it wouldn’t be anything to get upset over by a gay joke
The behavior is not normal, friends 2 males, 2 females or a male and female should not be cuddling, caressing hands or thighs when they have a significant other or wife/husband.you need to not be confrontational and just ask your husband. Me personally wouldn’t stand for it in my marriage snd I know my husband wouldn’t either.
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Talk to the step sister since it is her husband and her step brother. She likely has also noticed their behavior and a conversation could benefit you both with a clearer picture of what may or may not be going on between yals husband’s.
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Male or female, straight, bi or gay, related or not… doesn’t matter! He behaved in an unusual, for him, way around this person and it made you feel uncomfortable. Talk to him and explain how it made you feel, if he cares about you he should take your feelings into account the next time, even if he thinks your being sensitive, he should still respect your boundaries.
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Girl men don’t be playing video games together for hours for nothing 
I think that we’ve been so trained to connect any physical affection between males as homosexual behavior that we can’t just see it as friendship. Society talks so much crap about men not being in touch with their emotions but when they are we put them down.
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Yes it is normal I have an ex husband who has a friend and they act the same way both were married and they’re not gay that’s just the way they played
I have seen 2 sisters doing this. At first I thought they were messing with me also but then realized that was just their relationship. Not really the caressing but the hand holding. Idk this definitely seems off.
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He’s gay but in the closet…
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I’m not saying he is gay, I do find the behavior to be a bit odd though. If they grew up together like he says, maybe they comforted one another when they were little? My daughter cuddles her little brother, rubs the back of his hand, pets his head and things like that when he is upset. Maybe it could be something innocent lile that?
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No, its not what people usually do, but if its what THEY do, leave them alone.
One or both could be attracted to each other but were raised to not indulge into the same sex, so they suffocated it. Whatever may be the cause, your husband married you, so leave it alone.
What are you afraid of? Him leaving you for his male best friend? Lol.
I think of it this way. Would it be okay if he cuddled and rubbed another woman’s thigh? Would he be okay if another man did it to you?
Is the issue the action or the sex of the person? That’s what I think is more important.
Women can do things like that with their female friends, yet somehow it’s weird if us men do it? That’s some backwards double standard crap 
. This is comment section is absolutely horrendous
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Oh, they are super close alright 
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Ugh no it sounds weird…
Sometimes they do it as a joke-I’ve seen it, but they’re usually laughing about it…
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