Doing stuff to his back door does not make him gay. Gay men like men and sleep with men. Also, you married a chauvinist male. They don’t do housework. He probably just married you to breed which he has accomplished. All the best.
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Oweee girl, it depends on you. I personally couldn’t do that. But I’m not knocking anyone who would.
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My dad did this and he’s still a closet gay but he really doesn’t know any better he was continually raped from 7 yrs old and up but my grandpas best friend / neighbor… then he went to prison and bc he wasn’t muscular he was considered their bitch and made him their bitch… and now it’s just normal for him…. I guess in a matter of speaking… my dad doesn’t see that he was done wrong but every one who knows his story does and the rapier from his child hood never got what he deserved bc my grandma and grandpa swept it under the rug and didn’t care ….
Well i would be trying to prepare mentally if he really is gay and i say give it One last try talking to him as specific that you can, like when u confront him about the backdoor and he doesnt say anything keep explaining why ur asking like because he really starting to slacking and not giving a hand any more and thats why ur starting having mix feelings and thats why you really wanna clear things so you know what you guys should do. And if this doesnt get u anywhere tell him directly that the last option would be a therapy or we start talking this out to move on with seperate ways then…u really should have ur peace of mind! Life is hard already😉 succes!
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Well they say that a guys g spot is in his butt. And there’s males who likes to be dominated and will allow for the female to put a strap on on or stimulant his butt . Idk guys won’t talk about stuff but it’s obviously affecting your relationship so definitely confront him until he talks.
A lot of men like it because that’s where their G spot is. Doesn’t mean he’s gay. My fiancé didn’t tell me until a year or so into our relationship
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He could be bisexual. Maybe you can look into pegging. It could actually help bring the two of you together and then maybe you can work on your other issues.
Go to your nearest adult store, buy a strap- on, open your mind, and please your husband. You may surprise yourself and enjoy it too!
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A mans gspot is in their anus. Maybe try exploring it with him? Doesnt necessarily mean hes gay. Maybe hes embarrassed to ask you to do it? Just a suggestion. May not be the case, but just another insight.
I have no advice except that just because he likes butt stuff doesn’t mean he’s gay.
Mans g spot is in his back door. Doesn’t mean he’s gay most likely not comfortable with you
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How about being a bit more open minded and be open to trying something that he felt he had to try on his own because he felt it would be a “deal breaker”. We all go threw phases in life and want to try different things. He didn’t cheat, and he didn’t seek out another person to try it with. He tried it on his own. How is being sexually open to trying different and new things a deal breaker? If you say you love him like you do, why not support him in his new found liking for something different in the bedroom, like he would probably support you if you found something else you liked in the bedroom. We hold men to this certain expectation to only like one thing in the bedroom but men’s Gspots are literally in their ass. Be creative, be open, be understand, be supportive! This is the man you supposedly love, if you love him try it with him. Shit, pegg him. This is the man you love! Love him!
Don’t be embarrassed I was with my ex husband for 14 years and 9 of that we were married and we have two kids together. 2 years ago I caught him cheating on me with a man. Your a kickass momma and know you will be just fine just remember to hold your head up high so your crown won’t fall. 
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Just from what I’ve read it sounds like you’re not very approachable to talk about things sexually. If somebody automatically assumed I was a lesbian because I like when my husband goes down on me I should not be married right? With your logic I would be a lesbian because I liked something other than normal sex. Instead of confronting him and asking if he’s gay ask if he wants to try different things sexually. Not everyone is gay because they are kinky. You jumping to the conclusion that he is gay is probably what made him feel embarrassed about it and not want to talk to you. Try being approachable and asking what his interests are.
I have SO many questions. Lol.
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A man putting thing in his back door as you called it is not an indicator or being gay. He probably just wants to explore and find his gspot but when your partner jumps to being gay then that makes things hard
He feels like he cant ask you to help him satisfy his needs for fear of you calling him gay probably. Maybe just sit and talk and tell him you’re willing to try new things with him…
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You realize guys can like “backdoor stuff” and be straight right? If you’re comfortable with it do it with him.
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Maybe he’s just a bit of a freak, maybe tell him your willing to try new stuff and get on board with his freaky side🤷🏼♀️
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Peg that man and be happy!!!
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He is afraid you will judge him .and maybe he can’t let you see him like that ? But I say if you want to be intimate you will need to be willing to fufill this part for him.you don’t know about it because he don’t want to hurt you .hope that you and your husband can talk and you could be open to bringing him pleasure
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You cant just breeze pass that. How did you find out he has been sticking things in his rear 
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Men liking butt stuff doesn’t make them gay at all. Their g spot is in their butt holes so it’s not totally unheard of for straight men to enjoy it but won’t admit it for fear of being labeled as homosexual. The reason he’s shying away from sex with you is that it’s something he enjoys but is embarrassed because he doesn’t want you to assume anything…which is exactly what you’re doing… it sounds like maybe you’re already done and are just looking for any reason to end it
Some guys just like it. That’s their g spot so I mean i would just see if he would be open to doing it with you. Just ask while yall are in the moment or work up to trying it.
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Open up a little go about it as a friend not a wife you’re going to make him feel uncomfortable which is only going to push him away more than you already are. I have a lot questions feels like we’re missing a good part of the history but you and him need a clear communications don’t go into it angry
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Definitely backdoor play ISNT an indicator for homosexuality. As others have said, their G spot is there… so the jump to gay is crazy especially if he adamantly states he isn’t and loves you and your family…
I would rather my husband pleasure himself or ask me to than him asking someone else. Or would you prefer him to ask a man to stick a real one up there? 
don’t BADGER when you talk to him about it. Don’t bring up other things. Stay on topic, and be supportive. Or if you really aren’t cool with his self pleasure then leave and save you both the trouble of more fights.
Also. Maybe consider that he has been assaulted in his past… men’s brains are wired different than women, the way they deal with trauma can be vastly different.
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Umm first off there are many straight men that like that, doesn’t mean he is gay. Maybe he is just uncomfortable telling you that or asking for those thing.
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I’m 32 yrs old & my father married then had 4 kids (me being the second) with my mother & came out… my mom noticed things of what you’re saying. My dad was not technically gay he was bisexual
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I would get a strap on y’all might have some fun and shake the relationship up a bit
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I started watching games porn with my husband and that led to trying pegging. It is where their g-spots are. He probably just feels like he can’t talk to you because he feels like you’ll judge him. My husband and I have a crazy adventurous sex life. Just open your mind to trying new things. If you can’t, then move on. I know that’s easier said than done, but it would be best for both of yall. Good luck
Maybe the fact that you called it a deal breaker and said it makes you sick is the reason hes hiding it. And maybe thats the reason he also doesnt want to be intimate with you. Im not being cruel. Just saying that if he feels like he cant perform the way you want him to and bring both of you pleasure, he may just avoid it all together. If youve been together this long, he pretty well knows where you stand on most things. If he loves you but enjoys it, that would be why hes doing it himself and not having someone else do it for him.
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I would not necessarily think he is gay. Nowadays sexuality is very broad and open. He may do things to himself to please himself and is either embarrased by it or completely lacks the ability to communicate with u. Once someone does something sexually that is out of the ordinary, the normal will not be the same for them. It will not entice them or get them off. Perhaps he is also obssessed with these feelings he has acquired to get off. It may be weird to u but that is what he likes (hence why he hides it). If he isnt cheating on u with a man but is sticking stuff up his anus, id call it a FETISH and nothing else. Talk with him and see where it takes u. Some straight man like to be pegged too by the way. By women 
.
he could be bisexual
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Men like a finger up the but just like women do. Get kinky a bit have some fun.
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Research the male body
That’s their g spot. It doesn’t mean they’re gay. But try talking to him
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Just because he likes stickin things up his booty hole, doesn’t mean he’s gay lol that’s where the dude’s g-spot is.
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A males g spot is “back there” some men aren’t comfortable enough doing that and some are… totally normal for them to enjoy it…
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Get a double sided dildo
Most men who are “straight” like stuff like that…
So I’m gonna play devil’s advocate…
Yes, he may just enjoy anal play and not be into men.
Buuuuut…. My ex-husband always swore he wasn’t into men either and yet I found out he was sleeping with a man. He still denies being bisexual. So… in the case of your husband, he could just be ashamed of it too.
You’ll need to communicate to find out what the truth is.
That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay. Maybe he’s just into certain things and he’s scared to admit it because it’s usually misconstrued as being a gay thing but it’s not always. Just try talking to him about it and listen to what he says.
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Straight men can enjoy prostate stimulation, there are a lot of toys made for this, that are probably much more effective than what he is possibly using. A lot of people refer to it as the male gspot. I imagine it causes a lot of insecurity for many straight men as a lot of peoples first assumptions are that if you please yourself in this way at all as a man you must have gay impulses or be curouis, which isnt really the case. If you research about the topic & think it is something you could be into/comfortable enjoying with him than talk to him about it, but if its not something your comfortable/into, I think youd be better off giving him privacy in that area rather than possibly ending up making him more insecure about it & even less likely to share those things with you in the future? Also sexual orientation is mostly to do with what you are attracted too, not necessarily the way you enjoy having sex, I dont think you have to worry about him being gay unless you are finding him watching gay porn & even than he may just be curouis. Hope everything works out.
Reading these comments I’m shocked I’m 51 and I’ve NEVER stimulated a man’s back door nor have I ever felt like they would enjoy that 
. I think if a straight man wants his back door stimulated maybe he should find a man. There is no way in hell I would be stimulating that 
.
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I’m curious to know how you came upon this information 
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Offer to try new things. Sometimes it works better that way. I know it’s easier said than done. I hope it works out for you guys.
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NOT JOKING HERE, Get a strap on dildo and fuck him,its not horrible for a straight guy to like anal,it feels good.
So, my partner THOROUGHLY enjoys butt play. On the contrary, I hate it done to me. Ask him openly. As curiosity, not “are you gay”. That’s about as equal as women who like to be fingered or ate out being called lesbian.
Girl… He is obviously embarrassed because you will think he is gay… Experiment with him. That’s where his gspot is and yes it’s going to feel good to him. Maybe if offered to help he would feel better opening up and having sex with you more. There is nothing wrong with it and it absolutely does not make him gay.
Girl enjoy it with him any man that says it doesn’t feel good is lying that’s their g spot tell him you want to experiment with him better a toy then someone else 
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Better start pegging him sis
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Sounds like my ex who has NPD, look it up and see if it sounds like your situation.
He’s probably not gay… he might just be super embarrassed (men🙄) because he has learned he enjoys his butt messed with, that is where their g spot actually is. Instead of him just explaining that to you because of personal embarrassment and scared of how you’ll react and what you’ll do if he tells you upfront he’s putting a wall up… if you think he’s gay maybe see what kind of porn he’s into?.. not sure if that’s a sure sign of anything but may lead you in some direction?..
Actually is a bit hard for somone to figure out what he’s upto just find time and talk with him.
Sophia Poulos Omar Fathallah LMAOOOOOOOO omg
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So, are you a lesbian because you finger yourself?
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People of all genders and orientations have found pleasure in that 
other than a sexual thing (which he could even be doing by himself), would be some form of self harm or “cleansing” (being a mental health advocate I’ve heard it all). Sounds like he’s afraid to tell you regardless.
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I’m also very sure my husband is at least bi but he grew up in such a conservative household, that he’ll take the truth to his grave. He used to frequent gay bars, make way too many gay jokes… most his guy friends admit he’s made them uncomfortable, and 1 friend said there used to be rumors of him and a neighbor man having sex many years ago.
Without a man admitting it, there’s no way to know for sure. If something in his behavior bothers you then I’d focus on that. Get counseling, don’t bring up his sexuality or possible sexuality. Here’s how to think about it, if he was straight with the same behavior would it bother you? Or is it just the possibility that’s he’s gay?
Most men enjoy things there. Maybe do it to him during sex.
Do butt stuff with him! My ex was like that. Me accepting that’s what he likes, made us closer. He was definitely not gay either. Good luck!
Prostate massage i wouldn’t be to worried about it help him out it could be something he’s read about and tried and hasn’t told you it’s like him masterbating and found his new release be open minded talk to him
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Deep breaths hunni. And repeate. Often.
Maybe try and have a chat with him. Dont let on you know. But suggest trying something diff and new. And say theres toys out there for men…
Or just buy him a toy and remember thats where their gspot is. So its not as in gay as it is as enfilment. And it could bring you closer together.
Maybe a little drink will relax you both.
If you cant find it in you to talk than its going to continue.
He may be feeling at his lowest too. And scared thats why hes withdrawn and not doing stuff with you and kids. And doesnt know what to do. He maybe so scared. Fightened to lose you as he may know this is a deal braker.
If he was gay i think he would have tried with a man not do it in private.
Find an artical in a mag or online and say youve just read it and learnt something new. And tell him you never knew the g spot is there… open the window to a chat… dont expect him to admite there and than but if he knows youre more open minded he might feel he can say or ask if you can try something new… or if hed like try…
Hugs youll figure it out. I wish u both well. Xxxx
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Butt stuff doesnt equal gay. I’m assuming he thinks it does tho…hence the hesitance to talk about it.
But that doesn’t mean he’s not gay. Literally no one can answer that from the info given
Girrrrl I definitely wouldn’t put any of that on social media lol but I’d definitely sit down & talk with him about it I mean he is still your husband. You two should know each other better than anyone else! And you’ve been married & together for a very long time, nothing should feel weird or uncomfortable between you two. Idk I mean that’s how my husband & I are but everybody’s different. Talk to your husband, be his comfort, his best friend & find out what’s really going on so you can both move forward from it. One day at a time! Goodluck! 
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Ok most men don’t want you to but is it like a g spot it does sound like he’s cheating but maybe not with a man maybe he wanted to try it thought you would judge so found a women who wouldn’t if he’s cheating it’s wrong regardless but back door doesn’t mean he’s gay
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Dump him if he is lying the trust is gone. Life is too short to be miserable I found that one out myself. I got tired and walked out yes my kids were on.there own but I couldn’t take anymore.
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No ! No I don’t! Hell to the no !you crazy!
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Offer new things? Thats a dudes G spot. That doenst mean he is gay. Stick your finger or sowmthing uo his butt
Nothing you’ve said here equates to him being gay and you jumping to that conclusion is probably why he doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to you. He’s probably bored with the sex life y’all have and wants to explore more. You might be like many of the women in the comments…closed minded when it comes to sex. As a very open minded woman I’ll say that a lot of men are open to anal stimulation…be it oral or penetration.
It’s possible he just enjoys it there is the G spot there.
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I mean he may not be gay he could had been traumatized as a child and maybe his way to cope with it. Or maybe he is bisexual and can’t hide it any more . This may sound weird but tell him what you saw to start. And ask him if he will feel comfortable if you wore a strap on to satisfy his needs. . Or either just leave. Yes he probably loved you but have other urges it depends on how strong your love is and how kinky you can get to keep your home happy … just an suggestion .
sweetheart some men are very into ass play… i think HE might be embarrassed to tell you he’s into it. there are vibrators out there that are specially for men, not large but massages his prostate. buy one and seduce him and see how it goes… it’s worth a shot over losing your marriage.
Honestly, he might just need to try new things. I’ve tried different things with my husband and even though he swears he hates it…. When I put a finger in his bum…. He cums in about two seconds flat 
so he can say he doesn’t like it all he wants… his body says differently. Might be worth trying for you! It doesn’t mean he’s gay. He is likely just too afraid to admit it honestly because everyone jumps to thinking anytime a man likes anything “different” to call him gay or it might make him feel like he’s gay if he admits he likes it (like my husband 
)
Umm… That’s where the guys g spot is so I wouldn’t jump to gay straight away. Maybe suggest you guys experiment a little with what he likes? Suggest toys or whatever? He may be a little embarrassed due to the whole toxic masculinity idea that it’s viewed as ‘gay’ for men to want things there but unless you see messages or seeing him cheating on you with a man I wouldn’t really jump to that conclusion too quickly. Maybe ask him if his mental health is okay? Or suggest therapy if he seems withdrawn.
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Councilors go by yourself if he won’t go at first then if he wants the marriage to work he needs to go.Be honest and talk to him
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Lots of good advice here. He’s probably not gay. I’m curious as to how you found out though 
you guys have been together a LONG time. He’s probably just wanting to try something new but was embarrassed to ask (I don’t blame him since reading that it’s a deal breaker for you?). Be glad he’s doing it to himself and not out finding someone to do it elsewhere.
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You need to be more open to what he wants in bed. Maybe hes not gay but like anal and by you asking him is making him embarrassed. Good luck maybe try something different in bed.
First of all, that does not make him gay. Secondly, what he is doing is immensely pleasurable to him, and you should really learn all about how you can help him with that. I guarantee once you learn and he realizes you’re all about it - your sex life will spice right up. And finally, it is actually very physically healthy for him. So start learning all you can about prostate massage. You’re welcome. 
One of my best friends had this happen to her and it was very surprising. People suck for laughing at this because you never know!
Ask him to try pegging or use a vibration toy or different things that you two can do together
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Doesn’t mean he’s gay at all. Lots of men enjoy pegging. Google it and try having some fun with him. You might enough it 
my ex loved it 
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There is soooo much to unpack here. I mean hearing something like this in a new relationship is one thing but I’m shocked someone in such a long relationship would behave this way. Maybe he isnt coming to you because hes afraid of being judged. You say you love him but can do with out and his sexual behavior with himself is disgusting? Yikes. Anal play doesn’t make a person gay. Being attracted to men and being a man makes a person gay or bi, either way nothing us wrong with it. Maybe try marriage counseling because clearly you dont know how to speak to your spouse and make them feel comfortable and open after all these years. Ot seems your attacking his behavior and taking no personal accountability for your biases against certain things. The make prostate is found in the rectum and many men get pleasure from stimulation. If hes doing it himself its no different than masterbating. Would you crusify your husband for masterbating? Idk. Seems this is a you problem. Find a way to talk to him without shaming him.
I mean there has to be something a little more going on for you to think he might be gay. Does he act gay? Have you found a gay porn? Maybe it’s not what you think it is. Could you be jumping to conclusions?
Yea. Sounds like. He. Is. Gay.
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Couples therapy would help you.
That definitely doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay. I mean, it’s a possibility, but that doesn’t automatically mean he’s gay by any means.
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Just because a man likes his g spot stimulated doesn’t make him gay. Him wanting to be in a romantic relationship with another man does. Buy a strap on and go to town girl, sounds like y’all need it 
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Maybe he is scared to tell you what he likes because he thinks you may think its gay. Everyone has kinks, some big, some small, but a lot of kinks are not “normalized”. Have a sit down chat with him openly about it all. Use understanding and dont make him think you are shaming him for what he likes and wants (not that you are but it is a sensitive subject) good luck
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Doesn’t mean he’s gay at all. The g spot is there. Probably feels good. There’s many straight men who love it. Making him feel bad about it is not going to help your marriage and he shouldn’t be shamed for it. That said I think therapy would help as it’s clear there needs to be more communication.
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A man enjoying anal play doesn’t make him gay. This is so judgemental. TALK to him. Don’t accuse him. Stop spying on him. Honestly the fact that you’re spying and jumping to these conclusions seems like he’s afraid to be openly communicative with you about his desires.
Hes not gay unless it’s a man he wants in his booty or wants to suck cock! Anything a man and woman do in the bedroom is between a man and wife. If u find gay porn then I’d be concerned he may be curious but it feels good for a man so if u are interested in toys check out the sales-aholic page on fb for coupon codes for amazon
Regardless weather he’s gay or not I think once the trust is gone it’s over. Or in my case it was. Once my trust was broken I never felt the same. I wish I had some better advice for you but I hope you do whatever makes you happy.
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Not all men who like anal are gay it’s a very Erogenous zone for a man and society has made it “gay “ or a bad thing
Ask him if he’s like YOU to play with his back door. It isn’t just for gays and he may think you’re not gonna be in to it or shame him. Bring up ass play and tell him you want to try it.
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his probably stimulating his G spot
He could be embarrassed over him enjoying that type of sexual play. It doesn’t mean he’s gay! The males g spot is in they’re back door. Encourage the new found interest rather than bush it off. He might not like pegging, but he could enjoy butt play just like us women do. Try toys and butt plugs and ease into it, you can pretend you don’t know and suggest it. Start talking about new sexual things you want to try and bring that up. It could make him feel more comfortable with having sex more often.
The rectum is the easiest way to reach and stimulate the “male g-spot”
It doesn’t make him gay. It makes him unafraid to explore his sexual kinks. If he was sexually attracted to men - THAT would make him gay.
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I would say doesn’t mean he gay… I would say he probably isnt comfortable coming to you with sexual curiosity tho taking that and said other issues you mentioned my personal advice would be somebody better get to talking !! y’all really need to talk to each other. you may also want ask yourself is it a deal breaker because you thought he was gay? or is it that physical act itself I know there are woman who say there husband left for guy or ended up gay but if asked everyone in long term relationships the woman always had clues I don’t think physical act is one of them!
I know straight married men who like things like that so it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay it may be that hes exploring and is embarrassed to say anything
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I personally couldn’t do it. I agree with Maggie Streeters. And I honestly never knew guys like that. Not one that I’ve been with has ever told me they’re into back door stuff on them. I think he could be gay, but doesn’t want to accept it.
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Buy a dildo and spice up your love life.