He may be having trouble getting an erection and one way to accomplish this, it to massage the prostate. This is done through the rectum and the penis will become erect. Maybe he doesn’t know how to tell you he’s having an issue.
Otherwise, maybe he would like to try backdoor play in the bedroom. Time to try something new, perhaps?
Don’t believe he is gay. Lots of straight guys like getting their ass play with by finger, tongue or even a vibrator. I would talk to him about it and maybe be open to it. Can always spice up the sex life a little if your into it. Some guys feel a little awkward mentioning it unless the woman is into it
Maybe he likes butt stuff but is to embarrassed to ask you… I’m not into it nor would I be but I have seen posts about girls doing their dudes with strap ons and such 
boys are wierd
There’s a spot in the back door that gets a guy to ejaculate every time. He might be having low testosterone and can’t get it up but still needs a release.
So, here’s the thing: A lot more men like that kind of play than admit it. It does not mean they’re gay. He may have recently discovered that he is curious about that and attempted it during solo play. However, I’m sure that, as a man, he feels like he can’t come to you with this because of possible rejection or shame. Let him know that you are open to talking about anything he wants to try and that he can talk to you. Asking him if he is gay because you discovered that he enjoys that, may be why he wouldn’t come to you with things like this. Communication is key in everything, especially relationships and having a healthy sex life. 
Take a sex education class. It does not make him gay. He is probably embarrassed because most people are uneducated on the male g spot and automatically ASSume…gay
Just because you like to be choked in bed doesnt mean you want to die.
Talk to him about it he’s probably unsure how to tell you he might enjoy having his back door played with… And that’s okay… males have a prostate and it probably feels amazing.
Are you open to trying new things with him in the bedroom? Maybe there are some things he would like for y’all to try and maybe you do to him that he’s not comfortable talking about. Talk to him about “spicing up” your sex life. If your honestly open to at least trying new things, give him some ideas but at the same time tell him what your hard limits are. Also ask him what some of his fantasies are and if he would like to make some of those fantasies a reality. I tell my man that I’m willing to try anything at least once. If one or both of us don’t like it then it’s something we never have to explore again. Just think about it and keep an open mind and then try talking to him about it. Good luck:hugs:
Oh btw, butt play doesn’t make him gay.
Doesn’t mean he’s gay. Sounds like he could be scared to tell you in fear of you calling him gay
I wanna know how you spied to come to this conclusion that he’s been using his ‘back door’ for pleasure. If you don’t have sex often and you’re not sure what he uses or when, how do you know?
Anyway, him doing that doesn’t make him gay. A lot of men enjoy that. If he wanted to romantically be involved with another man, that would make him gay.
He’s sticking things in his ass & not having sex with you then he’s probably gay especially the fact that he’s not even having sex with you.
If you even have to ask yourself or this group? Yes. He is. Move on honey.
Liking it in the butt doesnt make him gay unless he wants strictly males in there.
It’s pretty common for men to enjoy anal penetration but society has shamed the fuck out of them for it.
Know plenty of great couples where the woman has a strap on per the husbands request. Lots to be explored in the domination category. Think of it as spicing up things in the bedroom.
Maybe he doesn’t want to tell you because you come off as very judgmental. Wtf, liking anal sex or anal play doesn’t make you gay.
Be open minded. Be non-judgemental. There are plenty of straight men into pegging. He’s probably not comfortable discussing his desires and needs with you, especially since you go straight to accusing him of being gay instead of trying to understand. Not to mention breaking trust by spying. Ya’ll need therapy and by “ya’ll” I mean you.
Have you considered that he just would like to be pegged? They have a g spot there. It shouldn’t be ignored and considered gay. I would make it seem like my idea and a fantasy of mine and ask him. If that’s all it is your problem is solved. To be honest I love it and I don’t think the men are gay for it. Denying a person their g spot is equal to the men who think women orgasm in 2 minutes because of porn 
What do you mean he’s been doing stuff to his back door? Like you caught him masturbating by doing anal on himself?
Ask to Try it with him. Maybe he will open up to you if yall do. But I’d say he’s bisexual
Men’s g-spot is in the backdoor. Maybe sit and have a conversation about intimacy and open new doors maybe he and yourself may like a little foreplay in the backdoor and maybe he is just to embarrassed to say it or do it with you. And then again maybe he is gay
If he don’t want you to then there’s your answer.I’ve never known a man to do anything like this. I wouldn’t have to ask the question.
Stimulating the prostate (through the backdoor) can allow a man to experience a different kind of orgasm, similar to the difference between a clitoral orgasm and a g spot orgasm for a woman. And while women can readily achieve an orgasm more than once during sex, once a man ejaculates he has a refractory period in which he will not get an erection again (variable with age) however, a prostate orgasm can sometimes be achieved without an ejaculation. Allowing the man to continue to have sex and experience pleasure. Perhaps you should put aside your pre-judgements and have an actual conversation with your husband. There are a lot of straight men who also enjoy prostate stimulation. Plus, there is a medical reason for prostate stimulation which will actually be suggested by a doctor. If you husband has an enlarged prostate (and therefore may also have trouble getting and maintaining an erection) the doctor would likely suggest prostate massage as it can help to reduce the size of the prostate.
The man’s Gspot is back there I do know that maybe thats what he likes
The post right below this in my feed…
Maybe try to include a strap on? Take charge. He might like it & who knows maybe you will too?? People have fetish’s doesn’t hurt to explore… as long as you take it slow … be careful… good luck 
I think you should sit down+have an adult conversation+really listen to your husband about this, not strangers on fb.
But by all means, while you are stop jumping to assumptions +accusions… unless you’re really ready for your marriage to end.
Talk to him like adults do. Just because he likes it doesn’t mean he’s gay. He’s exploring just like we all did at one time. How do you know if you like our dislike something if you never try it. Good luck
I have too much to say. An 18 year marriage that brought forth 5 wonderful children, one passed shortly after birth… Evidently he struggled with being gay all those years…unbeknownst to me. It totally rocked our Christian world…
Alot of men lime their prostate played with, it’s very arousing to them
Prostate massage is supposed to feel good. Discuss a strap on and pegging.
Just try to slide your finger in when you’re giving blowjob. His g spot is there. Make sure to lubricate
This 110% DOES NOT make your partner gay at all… He has a sexual need… Might be odd for some but Alot of men love getting off that way… and he could very well be ashamed hence the hiding it, communication is key!!!
Yeah, he’s not gay. He’s BI. The problem is, he isn’t truthful.
You & he need to go out for a meal. Just the 2 of you. Turn the phones off & have a very candid conversation with him. Give him your undivided attention. Ask him straight up if he’s gay or thinking he might be.
I will tell you this…… I have known many many gay men ( I’m a hairstylist) & I can not tell you how many gay men love having sex with “straight” men. There’s a whole world of straight men who hook up with gay men…… it’s a huge thing. There are a lot of gay men who are actually on a mission of bedding straight men. So is it a possibility that your husband is having gay sex? Yes, there is a possibility. You need to ask so if he is you can take the appropriate steps to make sure you are safe…. Ie free of the herp, hep, hiv / stds.
There’s a chance he’s bi sexual because my fiance didn’t tell me til like a year ago and we included strapons and other things now we have sex more than we used to used to be like once a month.
Doesnt mean hes gay at all! Mens g sport are in their buttholes hes probably got a sexual need he likes and doesnt know how to tell you for a man it can be embrassing
Sit down and talk to him
That doesn’t mean he’s gay. A mans g spot is in their ass. But most are to embarrassed to admit to a woman that they enjoy it . So maybe bring up that u wanna try doing stuff like that and see how he responds
This is so saddening to read that women are genuinely embarrassed to talk about this. That’s probably why he won’t talk to you.
Lose the judgement about this subject or you’ll lose him forever.
I have first hand experience with a very proud straight man, thoroughly enjoying anal, but only with a woman. No it does not make them gay, honestly if anything, you should be thankful that he understands what a true orgasm feels like!!
This is a good opening for many more topics in the bedroom.
Both of you should sit naked on your bed and start confessing to each other about what you each like.
Bare and open with no room for egos or judgement.
You’d be surprised at how much you don’t know about your partner.
That does not make somebody gay because they enjoy anal stimulation, many men and women enjoy it. It’s normal and the fact that your husband doesn’t feel comfortable asking you for that type of pleasure may definitely be part of the strain on your relationship. Also asking somebody if they’re gay because of this shows your lack of education when it comes to sexuality. Masturbation is normal and trying new things with yourself is normal, I think it’s kind of awful that you think how your husband chooses to pleasure himself might be a deal breaker 
Men aren’t gay because they a g spot in the butt… They all have it, most are just embarrassed by it and aren’t ready to embrace it, try talking about sex, he might just be embarrassed and scared you’d reject him over this and possibly over what his kinks are
Just because he likes butt stuff, doesn’t mean he is gay.
I would honestly scratch that whole idea and lean towards more he is cheating on you
Sounds like he probably just has a fetish. I wouldn’t worry so much
He might just like butt play bc it hits his gspot,doesn’t make him gay ,he could be but that’s not always the case .
If he is putting something in his back door you have a problem
I know many couples that there man likes some backdoor action. He’s probably just embarrassed about it because not a lot of straight guys talk about it for fear of being labeled gay. Maybe if you were open to experiment with him in that area he would start feeling more comfortable expressing himself to you. You could offer him a blow job and insert your finger a little and see if he like’s it and go from there.
The male g spot is located in the rectum. Look up pegging. Get what you need. Then tell him one of your friends told you about it and you thought itd be fun to try.
Ladies, I am absolutely ashamed by some of the responses on here. Heaven forbid any of you have to feel ashamed for any taboo sex act that you enjoy. Shame on you to some of you.
He doesn’t have to be gay to want that. Some men like to be pegged. Ask him if its something he might want you to do to him. He just needs to start being more open and honest about it.
Men have a g spot there.
So he likes his gspot played with and isnt gay and may be embarrassed cause it is not something most think they should even think about! Maybe time to spice it up and take control
Probably not gay. Maybe you should consider being more interested in the things he wants to try?
I’ll say this much if my ex would of come out and said he was gay I’d gladly would of accepted it…unfortunately my ex was a cocaine addict which he started using after 20 yrs of marriage …so gay over an addict…gay hands down…
Maybe this is the exact reaction he was afraid of and trying to avoid…?
And was uncomfortable to be honest with you for this exact reason, of assumption, and embarrassment…?
Hahaha yoooo these comments are wild 
.
Being that the male g spot is in anus, he could be like most guys and like the stimulation it brings, though most guys are shy about communicating this. My personal suggestions would be first to calmly talk to him when sitting on the couch after d are in bed or when your laying in bed, let him know that you are concerned about your relationship fading and you did some research, and that maybe your willing to try some new things he is interested in spicing things up up you taking this journey together.
Im going to be straight forward here for this next part… You could also while giving head one day just gently start massaging his balls and taint area, then slowly closer to his rear, he will either stop you or he will go along with it. If you’re both comfortable and he hasn’t shyd away, ahead and slowly try a finger while continuing giving head. The come hither motion of the finger is usually the best stimulation.
There is no need to be upset or shy about this as it is definitely natural. It’s not for everyone and that’s understandable as well. It will either strengthen your bond together or you will not want to be apart of this and know more clearly if you should move on.
Hide his stick and see what he say
You just play game,i think you are guy and dont wanna say that
I doubt he is gay …. It’s not uncommon for guys to like it , and do you make advances to him ? Or do you leave him to all the work ?. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work maybe he is stressed about something ? Lots of reasons why he could be distant
I have read a lot of comments. Honestly if he’s not coming forth with info it’s cause he feels embarrassed. Some Women see it as a sign of weakness in their men, some find shameful. MEN R WORSE IN JUDGING ANOTHER GUY ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL DESIRES. HOMOPHOBIA
Listen to him two ears one mouth. God gave you two ears to listen longer than u speak. STOP JUDGING HIM. We enter our marriage agreeing and promising to love UNCONDITIONALLY. LOVE HIM .
Just cause he likes butt stuff doesn’t mean he is gay. It just means it feels good. Maybe he is distant because he is too embarrassed of your reaction to what he likes.
I was married to a man for 30 years. We have 6 kids together. I know that he had some same sex attraction, but he started with watching gay points! And it ended our marriage. He had been in therapy for depression on and off for years. As had I. There were other things that weren’t related to that at all that had made me think about divorce several times. I wasn’t going to give up on our family! His therapist told him that if he was having thoughts about his feelings he should " check out the water" and see if he liked it! That pretty much was the end! I guess he did. He told members of MY family that he was leaving, before talking to me about it! He told me " we can stay married, as long as you let me do what I want " UM HELL NO "!
Men are odd! They are very curious and alot of them hide weird fetishes. 
so over it…
Gay porn not points. You need to do what feels right for you! I was so hurt! And angry! At both him and the therapist!
Just because he enjoys that type of stimulation doesn’t mean he’s gay at all. Do you trust him? If yes, then believe him. If not, why even ask? Without trust, there’s no relationship anyway.
Honestly, him not talking to you about anything, hiding things…makes me think he is cheating on you.
You could try supporting him sexually… If you know he likes it, you guys could explore…
Men’s gspots are literally in their ass. First, don’t kinkshame him. A lot of men aren’t open with preferences like this in fear of being labeled as gay. Secondly, it doesn’t seem like y’all are on the same wave length sexually and lack communication.
Stick a finger in his bum when he’s about to climax & I bet he will never want to stop having sex lol
It’s where the mans G-Spot is.
Maybe he was bored with the usual. Sometimes men can create a routine in the bedroom and they don’t know they do. I could tell you step by step exactly what my husband was going to do because he did it every time. So liven things up a bit and explore with whatever you are comfortable with. The best reaction is not to judge him or have a big huge emotional meltdown over it. Keep your cool, explore like you’re a curious teenager and what goes on behind closed doors is both of your intimacy moments, keep them special.
I like butt stuff… Doesn’t mean I’m gay…
Honestly I know a lot of guys who are not gay in the slightest and they like for girls to stick their fingers up there or you know something like that but it’s not because they’re gay it’s literally because a man’s prostate is equal to like a woman’s clitoris so most of them and I have talked to have told me that it makes them get off better however I’ve never stuck my finger and I did but but I know a few girls who have course there a little freaky to
Well considering it’s normal no I don’t think he’s gay. He’s probably embarrassed since you’re judgy
You could be a better partner and support him, exploring sexuality is normal and healthy
Stick ya finger up his butt
Maybe he’s bi and you pressuring him isn’t helping him come to terms with it. You could offer anal play but I think you’ve made it too awkward now. At this point you’re going to have to be honest and lay out your worries and what you’re willing to do to save your marriage if possible. My hubby has something that weirds me out but I accept it as long as it doesn’t interfere in the sack. This page is too public for details. It’s legal is all ya need to know. When I found out I flat out told him I don’t want to witness it. Ever.
I’m sorry but any man who does anything in the back door is freaking gay. And any male that likes it is freaking gay period.
Ask for a 3sum with another man and see how he answers. If he says yes then he’s either gay or he doesnt love you like he says he does… it’s worth a shot💁♀️
Soooo straight dudes have a prostate too… maybe he’s just into different things than you are sexually. Maybe he’s bi. Either way, coming at him in a supportive manner and trying to understand is going to be a lot more beneficial to your relationship than sneaking around and working yourself up. Good luck.
Can I just ask… how did you find out this information about him? There is nothing like jumping to conclusions to ruin a marriage.
Well I feel that is a HUGE problem! I am actually going through a divorce after 27yrs of marriage because I found at least 3 different conversations with people and one was a couple and which my husband said he was bisexual. I about lost it!! I haven’t even talked to him beyond a few emails in the 3 months since. There’s nothing that can restore it. Just makes me physically nauseated. I’m the same we’ve had our ups and downs but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Just trust your heart and I suspect you already know the answer
Your statement of “deal breaker” and you feel “sick” is more then likely why he isn’t talking about it. It doesn’t make him gay to like it, and that type of outlook could be why he isn’t talking to you about it. He may want to experience it WITH you but is worried you will leave him. Conversate with him because this isn’t going to go away.
Maybe try getting kinking in the bedroom, buy a strap on and see if it pipes his interest.
If needed have a few drinks before bring it out and get him to have a few as well he might just be hesitant about telling you and how you will react.
Hi hope you’re feeling ok today
My advise to you is if you are feeling low PLEASE make an appointment with your GP to talk about how you have been feeling I’m guessing you’ve been feeling this way for some time .
Your situation sounds so similar to the 1 I found myself in .
I made the really hard decision to file for a divorce after my son who was about 7 at the time asked me why was I always so unhappy he has Asperger’s so I new it must have been bad as he finds 'reading ’ emotions extremely hard to do.
So basically I think what I’m suggesting is try and sort yourself first before making any life changing decisions .
Please take care of yourself .
I would sit down with him with an open mind and listen to HEAR him not listen to respond, criticize or shame him. That is more than likely why he isn’t being open with you. It’s a difficult conversation to have but things will not get better until you get it all out in the open. Ask him what he needs from you and try to understand. Men have feelings, wants and desires just like us women do a lot of times they just don’t know how to communicate or express themselves without feeling like they are weak or less of a man. Love him through it.
Stop lying to her, he is a gay that’s why he is hiding
If situation was reversed how would you want it handled…
Stop over thinkin shit& peg that man
You don’t have to be gay to like things in the butt…
A mans g spot is in his butt. It doesnt make him gay. I like being slapped and choked doesnt mean I m a freak. Honestly hes probably embarrassed to tell you what he really likes especially if your accusing him of being gay.
What is ‘no parts’ spelled backwards !!! BINGO !! Whisper I’m Big Jim
Has he asked to stick it in your bum then yes so gay
Wow people are really rude and kind of gross lmao. I’m sorry your going through this I hope that you guys can work it out and he can open up to you about the situation ! There is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable about this dont let people make you feel that way. I know I was raised old school and have never heard of such a thing with a straight man and I honestly would never go near my mans backdoor, not even for money lol… again I’m sorry, and sorry for all the comments I read that came off as rude and hateful.
Maybe try communicating with your Husband, after 15 years together you should be able to talk about any and everything but you sound very judgemental and he probably don’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable around you!! Men have feelings to!! Why don’t you try and excite him a little instead of asking him to give you more attention! Emotionally unavailable people can’t get to that deep connection with others. Check yourself!!
My guess is that he’s watching lots of porn and masturbating a lot while stimulating his prostate through his rectum. Gay or not, they can lose all interest in sex with partners when they develop masturbation-to-porn addiction. Between his refusal to be honest and his refusal to talk, I’d be done either way.
It’s amazing how many women in this comment section is so uneducated with male anatomy. It just goes to show how selfish people are in the bedroom. Especially the comments that are claiming this is “gay” and “disgusting”. I would do some research on the male gspot and then talk to your husband in a calm, collected manner and environment. Don’t be judgy when he tells you and if it’s something you don’t feel comfortable with, see if you guys can come to a compromise.
I will say this.Just because he like things in his back door don’t mean he gay.Being attract to other men makes you gay.Their spot unfortunately is the back door.Maybe he can since that you will have a problem or won’t understand if he tries to explain himself?Maybe he is bisexuality?Who knows?I would try to take to him about it first.If he is gay/bi could feel ashamed of this?How do he open up and tell you or Maybe he know you know that he mess with his back door?Idk but try and be understanding without fussing.He will shut down on you and not talk to you at all.
Trust your instincts!!
Instead of judging him and saying he’s gay get a little kinky and have some fun in the bedroom. See what he likes. Have you not seen the movie Road Trip. Straight men do this is it’s completely normal. Women finger themselves and all and it doesn’t make us a lesbian. Come on now.
Apologies if this has been said before. From your description I don’t think this is only a physical issue. First, can we use the word anus and drop the “back door” stuff? We’re grownups here. Surely he wants anal stimulation but there are other aspects to the problem, related or not. I would sit him down and say as gently as possible that nothing he could tell you that you don’t know would make you find him unacceptable, and if he’s not happy with you for whatever reason you want to know about it. Tell him that having to keep secrets out if chame or fear can destroy a person ans you can see that he’s suffering. Ask him what you can do to help him tell you whatever he isn’t saying, promising that you won’t react badly that you just want him to feel deserving of love no matter what he thinks about himself or anyone else. See if you. Can coax him into telling you the rest is the story. You only know what you’ve figured out on your own. He sounds like he’s holding things in and can’t bear to speak of them. If you can get him to be more open about what’s on his mind many positive
Changes can occur. Just keep an open mind yourself. God luck.
Just putting this out there… Just because he might like that kind of stimulation does not by any means equate it to being Gay. It just might feel good to him and obviously he was uncomfortable voicing that to you because he knows that you feel any “backdoor” action means he’s gay…
He may just desire backdoor pleasure and not gay. You need a definite answer. If he knows it sickens you, he won’t discuss it. Try and have a conversation with no judgement. Good luck