At least he doesn’t leave the house. Give him some space. My hubby does this too so we usually just ignore each other lol. I’m like you and prefer to talk it out but most men aren’t like that.
You are only looking at the picture in front of you. You both need therapy to relearn how to process and express your words and emotions. I’m guessing what he does is how he learned to cope as a child. After getting in trouble and because he probably wasn’t allowed to speak up or “talk back” to his parents after being scolded or punished, etc. He probably went to his room to resolve his emotions and thoughts into the air and process. It probably gives him anxiety too. But do you only care about your own anxiety? Men have a harder time putting emotions and feelings into a word or category, especially when they’re taught to “man up” and “men don’t do that”. Take time to analyze him and learn to cope with his communication instead of making it about you and forcing him to argue things out for your own comfort and anxiety. Maybe he can learn to trust you in that regard and know that you understand him and are willing to slowly adjust communication in arguments that you both can be comfortable with. Otherwise you’re just pushing him away in order to get your own needs met without considering him. Who wants to live that way?
It’s his way of calming down. I have to walk away and be away from human beings to calm down if I’m THAT pissed about something.
I get that it gives you anxiety because he’s leaving before the conflict is over, but continuing going after him before he’s calm and keep badgering him about it is not helping the situation
When my ex husband and I would fight I would almost always just walk away. He would always follow and it would always make it worse. Let him take a break. You take a break. Calm down then you can have a conversation about it. Continuing an argument and getting more heated is not going to solve anything. And therapy might be good for you.
There’s nothing wrong with walking away but I hate it when they still run their mouth my man does it too. It drives me crazy I walk in there and say excuse me you got more to say
Why would it be ok for him to sit and talk because you want to but it’s not ok for him to just walk away from the argument like he wants? You sound childish and maybe that’s why he walks away and who knows keep doing what your doing and maybe he will walk away a lot further then his office. Maybe you need to go talk to a therapist instead of expecting things to just go your way and you crying to him about having a nightmare about him walking away during an argument isn’t childish. Grow up and see things from his prospective also not your yours
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Wouldn’t you rather him walk away then get physical? He needs space and so do you.
To me he is a man… Walking away is great. Maybe he had rather talk and not argue
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It’s not about him walking away, it’s about him then saying harsh things loudly enough for her to hear them. Essentially he gets to say whatever he wants to her, and she doesn’t get to argue or say her piece.
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Nothing is getting resolved it’s a big issue but if it is small then he walks away instead of building that fire that words can be said that can’t be taken back. Sometimes walking away is better. Just depends on what it is really.
Sometimes it’s better to agree to disagree and move on.
whats so important you have to win? Then follow him into his office until it gets resolved! It all sounds childish to me!
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I don’t like confrontation, so when we fight, my anxiety builds and I will start shutting down if I don’t get space. Walking away to calm down to me is healthy if its needed and you should respect his space if he needs it just as if you needed it
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I will always walk away from an argument no one is listening when they fight anyway might as well wait till it can be a discussion or nothing at all
Its a male thing he cant cope with the emtion of it
Let him go into his man cave to cool off
Work out why and what you argue over so you can both rationally discuss it
I think a lot of commentors missed the part where, you said, he says things loud enough for you to hear. So it’s not him walking away to difuse the situation it’s him being passive and saying things he wants without you being able to respond. It is not okay. Yes he can have his feelings just like you, but if he’s saying things out loud and you have no way to respond that’s not a healthy relationship. You both need to talk it out and come to a resolution. When you argue do you fly off the handle quickly? It could be why he walks away. Either way you both should be able to speak your peace outloud in FRONT of one another.
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Honestly it’s a good thing he walks away. It’s healthy. Usually when they don’t walk away physically alterations start and he probably doesnt feel right when arguing. You don’t have to agree to everything. Compromise
Would you rather him yell at you like that. Probably, and neither does he, shows respect for how he feels about you to not unleash that anger on you. Honestly speaking, let him walk away and unleash, everyone deals with things differently. Possibly you are invading his privacy by following and listening in.
Let him release, then see uf the BOTH and you can sit down and discuss things reasonably or each write down their side, the writing should at least keep the anger down.
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You know you don’t have to stand around and listen by the door when he’s ranting to himself? You realize that you are allowed to walk away too? It’s true; look it up!
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I find a lot of people do this… the moment needing to take accountability for their behavior comes up.
Screw it. I would walk right in behind him where I could hear what he has to say and I can respond. He wants to be the one who speaks last. No not how it works. If you’re going to continue to argue from another room then I’m going to be in there.
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Mine did that. Id start bashing him outloud enough for him to hear back. I had asked him to stop doing that too, but he wouldn’t. To me it was just continuing the fight but only he got to say what he wanted and it was always name calling or belittling me and always loud enough for me to hear. My relationship ended so I don’t have the solution but it made me feel like I wasn’t just bending over and taking it anymore when he’d act this way.
So you would rather him say hurtful things out of anger to ur face? Nah my husband and i will go to bed mad and have a calm conversation about it the next day.
Sometimes it’s best to walk away so that you can calm down and not say something you will regret out of anger…maybe after the cooling off period than you can resume the conversation more level headed
It’s great to walk away from an argument but it’s not good if he keeps mumbling behind your back.
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No body up here can help you. Seek some kind of counseling
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The two of you are toxic for each other. I walk away too in situations like that because I know that when I get that upset, I’m very likely to say things that I will regret when it is said in the heat of the moment when emotions and tension is high. I don’t want to say something out of anger or hurt that I don’t truly mean, and that’s exactly what would happen if I don’t walk away in that instance. My guess would be that’s why he is walking away from you.
When my SO and I fight, which isn’t very often to be honest, we have an agreement that if the argument gets to this point one of us is to call a time out, we go to our own spaces to calm down, and after we are calm we sit down and have a conversation like adults.
Simply, don’t argue…don’t say anything…when you see a argument coming, walk away.
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You are absolutely in the wrong!! The most smart and thoughtful thing to do when someone is upset is to walk away so things doesn’t get worst .
Will you prefer him to course and you or hit you ?
He doesn’t know what toxic is because I will walk right into that room and lay into him if he’s being hurtful. If he’s just talking loud to get it out fine but I’m not a doormat
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You’re the toxic one here 
He’s literally trying to stop the argument and settle down but YOU want to keep fighting 
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I think it’s very healthy for him to walk away to collect his thoughts.
I also think it’s manipulative AF for him to purposely say things loud enough for you to hear.
If he needs space to collect his thoughts, THATS fine.
Is he PURPOSELY talking loud enough so you hear it? Or is he legit just talking loud and you’re eavesdropping?
If he’s doing it on purpose, that’s not okay. Otherwise, give him his space.
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Ya, he’s walking away from a argument that’s only going to continue if he doesn’t walk away. Your asking him to stay and keep arguing witch can be toxic. A therapist will tell you to walk away from constant arguments like that so you need to let him deal with it in his own way like he’s been doing.
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Let him walk away! If the fighting is getting that heated walking away is best.
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Walki.g away may be his way to decompress and get his thoughts together. However venting outloud so you can hear it but not have the chance to respond is hurtful and unfair. If he needs to walk away tell him to take a drive or go outside or somewhere where you don’t have to hear his hirtful thoughts and when he calms down you guys can talk about it. But what he is doing is like writing out and long reaponse and sending it and then blocking you. That is infuriating probably.
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So my response would be that it depends…
You say it’s a reoccurring argument when means that’s this could be a form of stonewalling (look it up). It could also be a trauma response from him because of previous experiences.
The most important factor to me is that this is a re-occurring argument which means it isn’t truly being dealt with. This means that the issue is probably a bit deeper than a single argument or issue. Find a good therapist and figure out what’s going on.
Some times you just need to walk away and clear your head. You can’t think logically when emotion and anger are in play. It makes sense to take a break from the argument and take the time to cool down. Then you can truly think about your partners perspective and come to an agreement. It seems his way is the better option. If you continue to yell and argue about it in the moment then no one will get anywhere.
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I think it would be one thing if he was actually walking away in an effort not to escalate and collect himself in order to have a productive conversation… but that’s not what he’s doing since he’s still running his mouth.
He’s lucky it’s you he’s dealing with and not me cause I hear that coming from another room I’m coming in and we’re gonna finish it
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If you bold enough to mumble it, be bold enough to say it to my face! My husband walks away to calm down and we’ve spoken on that and how it triggers me. No one fights the same, so you have to compromise on it. If he doesn’t, as a lady said above, follow his ass and make him say that sh!t to your face.
Go to a professional therapist. Your first problem here is broadcasting your dirty laundry on social media. Why would you want to bring others into your marriage to decide who is right and who is wrong?! If it’s a real issue that y’all can’t solve on your own, then you need real help. Go to therapy, together and separately.
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Get some help. So you’d rather just keep fighting rather than him walking away grumbling to himself. That seems pretty toxic to me.
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If he can’t argue with you and keep his cool but can yell at you or about you across the house, that’s bs. He’s BS and you should call him on his BS.
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My sister does this. It’s fucking ridiculous. Screams. It’s toxic af.
I walk away too. It allows me to think before I react (I tend to be hot tempered).
Discuss it CALMLY, openly and honestly. Like myself, it may be his calming mechanism so that when things are heated, he doesn’t say something he doesn’t mean or will regret.
The time gives me the ability to cool down and try to see things from a perspective other than my own and to think before I react.
Y’all both are y’all are grown act like it
Walking away to diffuse a heated argument YES. To continue to talk loudly enough knowing you hear it and it creates more stress etc NO. If he walks away to cool down let him and you do the same. Following him to continue arguing is toxic. BUT… If he’s ranting from the other room saying stuff where you can hear and expects you to just take it that’s toxic. You don’t need to follow and he needs to not say anything after he “leaves” the arguement because he’s still arguing whether he’s in the same room or not and you have every right to have your say then too.
Answer him from the other room:woman_shrugging:t5:
so this argument can be done with
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It’s healthy for him to walk away.
Do you enjoy arguing?
Maybe try counseling.
Since the argument continues without being resolved then you both are being children.
Walking away from a fight is not toxic, not fixing the problem so that it continues is toxic.
Following someone who walks away from a fight is not always good. If they walk away and calm down and come back to calmly try to fix the issue thats understandable but walking away so you don’t have to fix it is childish.
That is the difference.
Walking away to calm down and come back is good. Walking away to avoid the problem all together is not.
He doesn’t sound toxic. Just childish.
Sounds like you guys need more communication when you both are not fighting.
When my husband and I disagree I often walk off till we can both calm down so I don’t say things that I would regret. You can be sorry you said it but you can not take words back.
Would you prefer him to 
your mouth.you should count yourself lucky you’re man walks away.maybe something for you to think about.
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If he was walking away to calm down that’s one thing but continuing to rant and rave loudly from another room and expect you not to answer is toxic. I would not be able to stop myself from confronting him if I could hear him. But if I was done fighting and he was doing this I’d just blare my music where I couldn’t hear him or leave the house until we were both calmer. He’s definitely in the wrong in my opinion
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Was Amber Heard wrong 
He’s allowed to do what he needs to do to control his anger and emotions. Would you rather he stay and blow up at you and say mean things he may regret? You don’t get to dictate to others how they handle their emotions.
The best solution here is for you to put on some headphones and leave him alone.
When you’re both calm, you can discuss issues rationally but you are being toxic for demanding he talk to you when he is worked up.
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He’s walking away, because he knows that continually engaging a manipulative, controlling narcissist is pointless and now you’re attempting to get everyone engaged in your smear campaign to believe he’s the toxic one. He’s onto your strategy and you can’t handle it. Sociopaths and narcissist can never allow their victims to set boundaries.
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Can you wear headphones?
I think this is the way he deals with things. For whatever reason, it makes him feel better, it’s his coping mechanism. You have every right to feel however you want to feel about it. But think of it like this- how would you feel if he was asking you to stop doing what helped you feel better? Stop taking it personally because it doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s what he does to be okay. Maybe change your outlook and try thinking positive. Like, I’m so glad my spouse vents his anger in a way that doesn’t hurt me. I’m so glad that he is able to walk away and sort things out instead of escalating our arguments. This is not healthy or sustainable. Maybe counseling would help?
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You both need to grow up 
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Walking away isn’t a bad thing…it helps you from saying things you might regret later. Everyone should walk away when it gets heated.
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Well ain’t this just some kiddie communication…. You need to learn to let him walk off, & he needs to learn it’s manipulative to holler his bs in another room so you can hear it but not respond to it….
I wonder if you’re letting him get a word in edgewise during these arguments….
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If he walks away… Then leave so you don’t have to hear it! When you come back, you both will have cooled off & had time to yourselves.
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Try this; Have him go where you can’t hear him like his car. If he only wants to do it within earshot of you, he’s trying to have a one sided conversation.
If he needs to just cool down and get space, that’s healthy, as long as the conversation is continued later calmly.
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Girl let him walk away… if you guys are arguing all the time you both toxic.
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He is being incredibly passive aggressive. He wants to be able to loudly vent so that you can hear it but he doesn’t want you to have any day whatsoever.
Very immature behavior.
What is he? 12?!!
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I mean. I do that. When me and my partner disagree, I walk away into a room and I just vent loudly. Because that’s how I get it off my chest. And when I’m done, I feel better not holding it all in. And then I come out, and we go about our day. It’s a coping mechanism. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad. If you don’t want to hear him, put in head phones or how about YOU take a drive. My partner just plays his video games with his headphones while I have my personal rant, and then all is well. Most people vent loudly when they feel like they aren’t being heard.
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He walks away because he is probably tired of BS. Why keep fighting about the same thing
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You are wrong and need to both learn how to fight fair. You have to understand that people deal with conflict differently than you do. For you to ask him to stay and escalate that fight until it blows up is immature, the same way asking him to bottle it up and deal with it the same way you do isn’t fair, nor is it realistic. The fact that you think it’s ok, that IS the very definition of toxic. You will never learn how to come together and fix your issues if you continue to obsess over his process rather than your reaction to it. You should know by now that you can’t control his reaction, at all. And the more you try, the more toxic it’ll get. What you CAN control is yourself. So, if you’re fighting and he secluded himself, you need to start respecting that boundary enough to give him space. And instead of focusing on what he is doing that pisses you off, take some time to turn that spotlight onto yourself and how you could’ve handled that fight differently, or better. Focus on the room for growth. Focus on what you can change. There isn’t a single person in the planet that’s always going to agree with you. Conflict is normal. You can’t control it. All you can control is you. He is walking away to work on himself, and gather his thoughts, instead of escalating the fight. Recognize that. And understand that in that moment, he needs a break. Words have consequences. You can’t take them back after they’re said. Give him time to gather his thoughts. That’s what he’s desperately needing from you. Don’t seek him out. Go to separate ends of the house if you have to. Separation isn’t permanent, it’s meant to give you time to reflect and think about it. Use that time for yourself. Then when you’re both calm, come together and talk about it. Quit pushing him, or you’ll lose him.
If you can’t talk to me like a respectful adult then I would also walk away!!
You created your own anxiety by shouting at him thinking he will hear you out… NOBODY listens to someone who shouts not even kids!
You complain he is hurting your feelings when he says he won’t talk to you… imagine how he feels EVERY time you shout at him!
You are belittling him, showing him no respect by shouting at him!
He says you are toxic cause you are being toxic by being childish and not being an adult about the situation!!
Grow up, mature yourself up and talk to him like an adult and not trash!!!
Well he has a right to defuse and deal with things his own way. He’s not responsible for how you deal with things. You can discuss how you feel about it and together maybe come up with strategies so you both feel heard and not overwhelmed. No he’s not in the wrong. He has a different anger style. You two have to find ways to work towards resolving conflicts so you both have a resolution. Try counseling to help if you can’t get there on your own.
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Walking away isn’t wrong but he shouldn’t continue to say things out loud to where you can hear them…. That’s just him running his mouth and expecting you not to say anything
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Ya know, men can have trauma responses too. everyone here is assuming that he is going to the office and screaming crap about her but she literally said he talks about what transpired loud enough for her to hear. Who to say this isn’t a coping mechanism he learned in childhood or maybe he’s not neurotypical and he has to talk things out to clearly understand what happened? I see nothing wrong with walking away. Maybe when he heads to the office you could go outside if him outwardly processing bothers you. But walking away when you’re frustrated is one of the first things they tell you to do in therapy.
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Perhaps he doesn’t want react in the heat of the moment,i think its time for you to take you’re emotions out of it,and look at his reaction from an outside view
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If y’all saying y’all both toxic you are reading to much shit. But if it bugs you that much leave. Sounds like you both are toxic
I’m going to say what I am sure everyone else will disagree with. Walking away is one thing, if the argument is getting out of control, but going in the other room and yelling where you can hear it, he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s getting to say whatever he wants, where you can hear, but doesn’t expect to be confronted on it. Fuck that! You better be well out of my earshot if you are talking shit. Also, my husband used to leave and go drink or stay out till late and I am not ok with that either. If our marriage isn’t important enough to try to figure things out instead of going and getting wasted, then it’s not that important. So, in my opinion, no you are not wrong. If it is a problem for you, then it should be a consideration for him.
So he doesn’t want to hear your side but he’s making sure you’re hearing his side… he sounds toxic
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Its his way of getting away from you before he says something he doesn’t mean. Instead of fighting he’s choosing to walk away. Smart man.
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Grow up and leave him alone. Now if he didn’t walk away and hit you, you’d be on here whinning about that. 
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My fiancé also does it. Usually he just needs time before continuing talking so that he can calm down. It’s not about being toxic because it’s not toxic at all. And he probably just wants to calm down before possibly saying stupid stuff that he can’t take back. Stupid stuff that could really hurt your feelings.
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google “fight languages”. Some people want to solve the issue right away, some need time to process how they feel and how to best communicate it.
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Walking away is not a bad thing. I do it all the time it gives me time to clam down ane think things through. We all need our space. The person in the wrong here is here.
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Just like love languages, people have fight languages… Fight or flight. More often than not, I NEED to flight during an argument. I’m not saying its the best way, but it’s what I need. I’m not a fan of confrontation.
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I walk away from arguments to allow myself time to process what was said and come back to it level-headed. I may rant, or bitch to myself while I do it, but I have full intentions of putting the argument to rest—after a few to cool off.
Maybe he needs sometime not to make the situation worse so he walks away.
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What else you want him to do, scream and yell in your face???
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The fact that he screams from another room and you can hear what he wont say to your face is where the toxic meter goes off. Pointing fingers wont solve anythibg, while one finger is pointing out, 3 are pointed inward. If he rather have the opinion of strangers on the internet instead of sitting down calmly and communicating with his partner, thats another flag.
As individuals we should be owning our shit and not looking for justification for our actions anywhere but inward. Life is about what you bring to the table, not about what’s on anyone else’s plate. I wish you both the best, however that looks for each of you 
Petty arguments are not always good, I think both of you are toxic toward each other.
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ESH. Reoccurring argument? Why?
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This is my husband and I. I want to fix the problem now, he wants to walk away, cool off, and collect his thoughts… then we can revisit the issue later. I am also a very anxious person, so it took time for me to accept this was his way of working through something on his own before talking to me about it. It isn’t ideal for me, but the end result is always better when I allow him that time.
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People walk away because they need time to chill. I’d rather walk away first than say something I don’t mean during an argument.
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No one has asked…why do you fight so much?..do you find things frustrating and then have it out with him…or does he find frustrating with you?..what’s the score…two sides to every story…what’s happening over a period of time length did you fight mega before or is this new? Did you argue as much before you was together?
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I dunno I would say that you guys need to discuss those feelings together… saying it outloud to vent doesn’t solve anything and makes the other person feel uncomfortable…not healthy
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Walking away is not a bad thing I’m a Sagittarius I will always walk away from a situation and come back later to solve it a Sagittarius we don’t like arguing we will walk away because we will be brutally honest and we will hurt peoples feelings if we get into an argument and we don’t walk away
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I mean I get it. He maybe should not be venting out loud. But walking away is not a bad thing. You trying to continue the argument is very toxic. Y’all need to work on communication skills majorly. My husband was 19 and I was 16 when we got back together for last time. I was the one arguing and being unreasonable, my husband would walk away, gather his thoughts give me time to calm down then come back and try to talk to me about it. 20 years later we are able to communicate like adults.
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That’s HIS way of diffusing the situation and taking a “Time Out.” Perhaps he’s trying to avoid saying [or doing] something he’ll regret or can’t take back. Give him his space.
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Walking away is the right thing to do ! To me it sounds like you are mad because he wants away from the drama like you wanna continue it , push his buttons . What do you want him to scream in your face or hit you . Let him cool down , later on talk about it .
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It’s sounds like you both need to work on effective communication, self reflection, and picking your battles. How he’s behaving after an argument is just a symptom to the bigger issue of dysfunctional communication and constant bickering. Defusing tension by walking away from ongoing arguments is actually a good technique.
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Take care of your own mental health.
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My husband likes to argue it out then and there, probably because I usually just give in and he gets his way. I like to walk away, to stop me saying things I may regret and to think rational about the situation.
Your husband obviously believes walking away is best for him. Each to their own.