Apart from wanting to know what he did with the money he withdrew if he wasn’t paying it …wouldnt be my problem 
.
Ask him…then let them sort it out themselves
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Does it really matter 30 years later? Sounds like his kids feel jipped maybe adress that instead
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let them take care of it
Why are you asking these questions
There should be records of it.
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If the father paid it then there shouldn’t be any issue showing it was paid. If the mother told the kids he wasn’t HE needs to address it with her and the kids. Not you. Why after all these years did it come up would be my question.
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They are adults. Get the receipts, send them all copies.
No need to get into arguing with them. Send the proof and tell them they need to ask whoever lied to them why they would do that for no reason.
Tell them they are free to come talk to you if there is some other reason they felt that way
Prove to the kids that he paid and cut her off. 
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Tell hubby to show his receipts to the kids! Easiest way to solve this issue. There will be no back & forth, just the receipts & facts
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Your husband needs to tell them to ask their mother.
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I think you’d know if he didn’t. They’d be taking his tax returns, suspending his license, he’s have warrants, etc.
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All you can do is provide them with the facts and let them decide what they do with them, it doesn’t matter if she was lying or not, it matters who they believe and no kicking and screaming in the world will change there mind, ILL word towards there mother won’t help, the truth will surface it always does be patient…
Shouldn’t this be up to your husband/ their father to answer
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I would provide the records and not say anything else about it. The kids believe a lie and once you show them it is a lie, then let them charge up their mom/dad whoever about the details
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Your husband does not have to prove to his grown ass kids that he paid his obligation! And honestly they shouldn’t even be asking. Just let it go and tell them that he satisfied what the court ordered. If they are that curious they can go and get it checked themselves. And as for the ex if she’s saying lies let the kids find out. She’s an ex for a reason
My bio dad never paid my mom a dime
Back then the money the CSA took and what the other parent received was massively different, my dad had this, worked 3 jobs to pay CSA and honestly my mum didn’t get anything near what he was paying! It’s a sore subject still for them but as I repeatedlytell them it’s the past, I tell my mum dad payed x amount, tell my dad we got x amount each week and that’s it 
but they both need to forget about it as we’re all adults now x just tell them that and move on
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Your husband should be able to prove to his kids that he paid child support. If he had an obligation through the state, it would have been taken directly from his paychecks and had he still owed back support once they turned 18, their mother would have continued to receive payments until the past due was paid in full, no matter how old the kids were. I’ve always been a strong believer that when rumors start ( the kids saying their mother said dad never paid child support) the best thing to do, is get everyone together at once and address the issue once and for all. In that situation, there is no “he said/she said”. Everyone is there, together, to squash it.
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You should see the way some people act…My kids dad’s ex wife dropped his child support got cash every month because she didn’t like waiting for the money to process. Then she would ask for money all the time on top of it. She would write out receipts for us…after close to a year of cash with written receipts she picked up child support again and requested back child support as well. When he provided the receipts in court she said she didn’t write them and they were forged. Needless to say…he paid her that whole year and he still has to pay for that year because the court took her side. Definitely her writing…I watched her write out quite a few of them myself…but that was a rough time. I had just had our first son…she said she was trying to make it easier on us by dropping the payments and it would be better for her…ugh. I did show their daughter because some of the questions she was asking me were outrageous and caught me way off guard. Especially with how young she was too and with no truth in it. First off why is a 5 year old at the time asking me why there dad isn’t paying child support.
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If it went through the courts there should be documentation of payments. Get copies of the documentation, give it to the kids and direct them to their mother who clearly has them under the wrong impression.
Though I don’t understand why these kids are asking this when they all would be around or over 30 years old, do they want the money now or something?
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Why ask the EX? HE DEAD?
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If he hadn’t, he’d still be paying the consequences and the ex would’ve let it be known a loooooong time ago. Let it go. If she told the children their father did not pay child support, that’s her problem. Explain to the children their father was a responsible man who took care of his obligations.
Let it go and stop inviting her.
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If he went through child support enforcement to pay his child support then they send you a letter letting you know you completed it. There’s his proof right there.
The ex definitely got the support but told the kids he never paid. She kept the money to herself
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The kids don’t need to know that information to begin with and they must think they get all that money when they turn 18 or something? They should mind their business and let the mom deal with it. If she told them something then that’s on her not you guys.
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Let your husband prove it through records - the kids are old enough to understand. If he can’t prove it, the ex wife obviously isn’t lying. My guess is she IS lying, or else she wouldn’t be avoiding the question.
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Tell the kids that their Dad supported them, show them proof and tell them they need to speak to their mother.
Your husband should tell them that he always paid child support. And show them the proof that he paid. What their mother did with it is on her.
At this point in their life I would ask them why its important. We paid our support, my ex did not. It doesn’t matter sny longer
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70 years ago my father was divorced from his first wife her infidelity - he supported her and his son till she passed away he was then 18 still minor in those days. Till this day her still swears that dad didnt pay anything. whichI know was true as the only way dad found out was the payment returned, some women just cant face thetruth
You don’t have any of the documentation from back then? Some sort of proof? Maybe request records? Don’t even bother with her. Just give the kids proof and let them deal with her for lying
Keep your mouth shut…get papers/bank stantments-transferes ect as proof but don’t argue… they can either believe what’s right in front of them! If not…oh well
Sadly this happens alot …the father works his ass off to pay it every month but some mothers dont tell the kids but they always find out in the end especially with bank statements 
I mean if he hasn’t paid support you’d be getting frequent correspondence from the court without filing for modifications
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Well he should handle it and see if he has proof. If it’s thru the courts and he wrote checks there is proof.
He should file to get records from support and enforcement to show he paid his support and give it to the kids. I was told my dad was not paying support, but my dad got proof from support and enforcement that he did pay it all and he gave the paperwork to me. It was just a big fat print out from support and enforcement that showed he paid 250$ a month until I was 18.
Sounds like the ex took the money and didn’t spend it the way it should have
HE needs to talk to his ex-wife and find out what she did with all the money he sent her. He needs to tell his children that he paid support for them - they need to ask their mother what she did with the money. YOU should not be the one asking questions.
He should have documentation if he paid his child support and can easily be proved.
This should be a non issue if he did…
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There should be documents showing he has fulfilled his obligation. I have paperwork for my husband that says he’s paid up. Maybe show his kids this info instead of going after the ex?
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Shes an ex for a reason
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Show them proof and be done
They are his adult children? Send them to your county’s child support office with their questions. They can get the printed out proof they need either way, whether dad did or didn’t pay or if mom is or isn’t a liar.
Maybe she used it on rent, food and all the other bills… just because a child gets support doesn’t mean your going to put it in their hands to spend… it expensive to house and feed children. Could be a possibility… i think you would onow if your hubby didn’t pay his aupport
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You can get your file from child support recovery and it shows every payment made. Stop fighting them and just show them you paid it.
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My husband had custody of five of the kids. Years ago. Had to pay support for one that was not his but carried his name. The ex abandoned the five but kept the girl. He was constantly being called back to court. He paid every payment and more. The girl could never understand why my husband as close to the five but not her. He would never say you aren’t mine. Long story shot. When the girl was older she found out her step dad was her biological dad and the mom didn’t want to loose the support. Several week later the girl committed suicide with a gun and left behind a husband and two children. People stop messing with your kids!! They get hurt
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If they’re grown adults or even older teens you can sit them down and just talk to them.
If it’s THAT bad and you feel the need to prove yourselves whip out those pay stubs the deduction is on there
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I can’t follow this, somebody put it in plain words haha I’m a lil slow
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It’s irrelevant to the kids.
It’s not an inheritance paid to the mom.
It’s paid to “support”
The kids -
Bills, food, etc…
Unfortunately, she has no obligation to spend it on the kids.
She spends it how she sees fit.
I would tell the kids, it was paid and their mom spent it how she saw fit.
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If he paid there would be proof. If you don’t have proof just his word then I’d start questioning things.
At the end of the day it his fight not yours. You need to stay out of it and let him question his ex wife.
He can show them bank statements or receipts that he paid or the court order
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Should any of this matter you’ve been together 30 years…
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My son’s ex owes me $14,000 right now my son is 33 years old almost and he’s been paying it for about the past several months so don’t give up cuz it’s eventually going to come maybe my daughter’s dad he owes me 60 something thousand dollars but he’s in prison for life so I’ll never see that I don’t think their mom should be getting them involved though and something that is between the parents my daughter’s daddy said he wasn’t going to pay child support because it would just go to me what does he think that we’re spending all the our own money on is stuff for her but he didn’t believe he had to pay because I would get the money even though I spent 10 times the money on her than he did but everything will be okay she’s just trying to call some sort drama and take care of yourself and just let them know that that’s not a discussion that you have with them it’s to have with their mom
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Say “I did, you’ll have to ask your mom what she did with it.”
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Think about it like this for a second does it really matter? What is the point of trying to prove her wrong at this stage? If that’s her version of the story and it’s not yours end the friendship or exship however the heck yall classified the relationship. The kids are cared for and sounds like they’re grown. It doesn’t matter. Don’t get yourself riled up over something that is now completely insignificant. It is what it is.
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Go to the child support office and get the paperwork saying he’s released from/ finished paying. I had to show my bonus daughter the paperwork and explain how this works in order for her to understand her mother is a liar and her father isn’t a deadbeat.
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Can we say drama stop fueling it does it really matter now they are at least in their 30s now
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He should have a paper trail through CS office and the courts. Show his children the paperwork.
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Did he not just tell them that he paid the support? If he actually paid it, this is a non issue.
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Listen what does it matter. As long as the children know the truth drop it. Also drop the ex as a friend.
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You tell the kids the truth. Their mom can answer to them.
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Riddle me this: Why not let your husband deal with this situation?
Why do you keep confronting this woman. I would’ve cussed your a** out if you questioned me about some damn child support when my kids are now grown. 
If your husband has an issue with what his kids are saying, he should have some type of proof that he paid his child support. If he doesn’t it should be easy enough to get it. You want my advice on how to deal with this situation, stay out of it. Maybe you should use this energy to get the child support that your ex owes you. 
Do you have copies of the child support payments? I’d screenshot and send it to the kids. Lying to your own kids would be a shitty thing to do.
Share your payment records with your adult kids, although it’s really not their concern or business that should of EVER been shared with them…ugh!!
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Well he didn’t get his license suspended or arrested so yeah she’s lying
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I understand why you are upset as you are trying to protect your husband but
- How long was he single before you and him got together? Maybe he didn’t pay it in the beginning and did by the time you came around.
- I have seen with my own eyes that men when they separate, they don’t want to give money as a way of punishment for the wife ending the relationship. He might have grown up before you came song.
- What new wives and ex’s need to understand is that the man you married is no longer the man she was with. Men usually change when a relationship ends because that is the ultimate rock bottom, the ending of a family unit. Then he comes into your life a changed man. You don’t understand why the ex left him and think it was just her, the ex knows how he used to be and doesn’t believe he’s a changed man.
- That should be a conversation between your husband and her, not you and her.
- Have your husband print out bank statements to clear himself.
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Support is also a reimbursement, as long as the kids are taken care of, it really doesnt matter what she spends it on. Especially if it goes into her bank account, if she bought clothes, food, rent/mortgage, medical, dental, back and forth to school and doctor and dentist, lights, water, no judge will care what she spent it on. Because when it comes down to it, had they stayed together the money would be spent either way. And if you go to a judge and ask him why didnt the kids get the money, when was the last time a kid paid a bill??
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Show the grown kids a copy of the paid child support! End of story and then expect an apology from them!
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When I became of age I went to the courthouse and got my parents records and found out my mom had lied to me and my dad had actually paid more than what was asked for child support
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Get proof and show them. The fact that you’ve received no reply tells you there’s a lie she’s been feeding her kids. Bust that bubble
I mean I guess you could show them the checks or the direct deposits where it was paid but it seems weird that the kids are even involved in this conversation
And I would definitely let the kids dad handle it.
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Sounds like she lied to the kids, but didn’t tell them dad paid
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Whose life will be changed by answering this?
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Does it really matter? Would you walk after 30 years for a lie almost as old?
If he didn’t pay or did pay there would be paperwork to prove it. When he made payments he got receipts, ask him to provide them. If he doesn’t have them then ask child support for them. There is always a way to find out.
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Show the grown kids nothing…grow up…the funds went to raise them…
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Who cares. Its well and truly something that is over and done with. If they want to know they can ask them directly, not put you under pressure.
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If my husband paid child support and my x didn’t I would be fuming also the children arguing is the children that received the support and the children that didn’t and have more heat break about parents and these children have to explain as they grow older and that x wife needs to be careful She had a man that at least supported his children she should be so thankful and sorry you just wasn’t that lucky with your x 
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Talk to your husband tell them his kids don’t think he paid have him show them
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It was 23 years ago! Get over it.
Is it not water under the bridge. Why are they digging up bones anyway?
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The “kids” are all adults… they all survived. Who even cares anymore … if it had of been going on. I’m sure u would have heard about it YEARS ago as soon as a payment was missed…
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If you know for sure he paid it, let it go. It seems like you’re wondering…
So have the father either show the proof or confront the mother while the kids are around, on the phone or in writing/ record the conversation for the kids to hear/read. Personally I would of just told my kids the child support was paid and left it at that and let them choose how to react or believe because I feel it’s a waste of time explaining or defending myself when I know it’s a lie. But if the father was in the kids live the entire time I can’t even imagine why they would be concerned about child support as adults.
Honestly… I’d ask the kids why it matters…
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It’s not your place 
. That is your husband’s business
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I doubt his ex wife would co parent and attend all the family functions if she had any support problems
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Get proof from bank statements and show the kids
If the children are adults, tell them the truth. He would have to explain whether or not he paid child support.
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This is actually a very easy one to address. Pull up previous bank statements. Show the transactions and put this to rest. Honestly it’s such a petty thing to be so upset over when the proof is so easy to obtain and show the children.
Simple!! If they ask me again, I’d tell them the truth. Your father paid child support!! Talk to your mother!! I’m not holding her Secrets 
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Apparently someone is lying. The only way to get to the truth when there’s so many people involved is to get them all in the same room and ask the question. That lets the air out of the bag and someone has to admit they lied or look like an idiot when the truth is revealed. Either his ex is lying or he is.
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Show them the proof! We had to deal with that. With child though… just logged into the account and showed the payments
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If she’s not saying anything, she’s hiding something. To me, it sounds like your husband did pay and she lied to her kids.
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Y’all need to have a family meeting with the kids. Even tho they are grown it seems they are upset and wondering. It’s best to get it out the way now. If you can dig up the proof I would have it on hand. The Kids can keep your grandchildren away if they feel some type of way towards their dad etc etc. y’all don’t want that.
I’d want to know why it all of a sudden matters to them. Instead of going through the mother and whatever she’s saying, you and hubby tell them straight. Whoever is lying, it will come out. Whether 6, 16 or 36, our children deserve the truth.
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Just tell your husband and he will put her straight 
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Ask her in person in front of atleast one of his grown kids.
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If the kids were supported it is not their business any way, it was to support them.
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If they are over 18 have your husband show the court records.or show proof or just have him tell them he paid and drop it.