Those girls want nothing to do with him. They’re only interest is getting him to pay them for photos, videos, time etc. He probably is feeling good thinking they want him.
1 Like
Ask him what’s more important, your family or having dating sites and talking to other women. Or you can do the same thing and see how it makes him feel?
1 Like
I’ve went through something similar. And we’re still together going on 10 years and happier than ever. If you’d like you can message me privately. I’m not comfortable blasting it on Facebook. 
2 Likes
First, I wont tell you to leave. I personally dont know what the hype is that talking to someone online is considered cheating. We all in nature flirt to a certian degree. I see so many women in relationships sharing or commenting on pictures of these guys with their shirts of with nice abbs and saying they wish, when they are in a relationship already. Yet that is somehow ok. Not saying he is right for being on a dating app but its the same thing.
Do you have guy friends that you talk to when he isint around? That is considered cheating to some people also. Talk to him about it. Yes you have serial cheaters out here. But most are missing something at home. Rather its conversation or affection. My phone sits out no password. Like wise so does my fiances. We do not go through each others phones. Its’s called respect and trust. If the trust is gone the relationship is usually gone. Good luck with what you figure out and do. One more thing I will add. Do not stay just for the kids. I been there and that only hurts the kids more seeing their parents unhappy.
2 Likes
He won’t stop I’m sorry to say
1 Like
Sometimes we are in love with WHO we think our partner is but unfortunately that isnt who they are. This happens way more often than many admit to and is the reason for so many divorces. We fall in love with how we feel when around them and that is wonderful until it isnt. Suddnely we no longer feel great about ourselves when around them because we finally see WHO they really are and NOT who we want them to be. We have to feel great about ourselves around them and because of them. Feeling lousy about self because of them is the number one reason for many to get out. Women deserve more. Way more. I would rule out a sexual addiction or if it is that, if he was willing to get help I might try to work it out. I personally would not see my hubby as the person I thought he was if I found that information. I would no longer feel the same love, believe I know him at all and would wonder what else is going on that I do not know. I was loving a monogamous man or so I thought and my love for him has that as a big point so for me, I would have to move on to feel safe, secure and good about myself. Once trust is broken it is always in the back of the mind. No matter how far we stuff it down, its there and we never feel peace or freedom. I did move on with my children and found a freedom I had never known. Narcs for parents and married early.
12 Likes
There are a lot of men in monogamous relationships that shouldn’t be, and all the internet sites and social media are perfect ways to be unfaithful. He has sexual fantasies he has to fulfill, and that wont change… with that being said porn is one thing, but hiding what he’s doing and messaging other woman is a completely different story. You have to decide if it’s something you can look away from because unfortunately he will just find better ways to hide his extra curricular activities once you confront him. This one is a hard one, but without trust regardless of how good a man treats you, how much time he spends with you, or how great you are as a family, you’re always going to question what hes doing, and why you arent enough for him. I would communicate with him how you feel, and if you want to make your relationship work, I would suggest counseling.
A relation takes more than love and for him to disrespect you like that he can’t love you… Get out now…
He is actively looking for other female attention outside talk marriage. It doesn’t just stop on the Internet, believe that. Leave him alone
1 Like
You know in your heart what to do. Is this something you can work out? Or is it something you will hold a grudge over and make yourselves miserable? Only YOU can make that call. You know what’s best for you and your kids.
1 Like
Married 32 years here. Seperated twice in that 32 yrs.
I would advise a conversation around why he feels the need to be wanted by other women? This is more about him than it is you. Marriage is a give and take… you have to be willing to hear the hard stuff and get through the shit together and it will make you stronger.
I am sure his intentions are not to ruin his marriage and he loves you.
Try to be open to hearing about the side of your husband that is not what you like or desire. But just listen and then decide how you want to proceed.
You decide what is right for you and your husband.
He won’t stop he’ll keep doin it till he finds someone local been there it sucks 
1 Like
Boyyyyyy social media is the devil when it comes to temptation.
Maybe stop any social media use all together, as a unit.
3 Likes
I personally would end it. As you said, he had a slight history, its still history of doing this to you. If he is capable of doing this to you and your children knowing it could end the marriage, I think its time to walk away.
If you decide to work on things in the future after he sees what he’s lost due to his actions, then maybe counseling and try again.
1 Like
I’m be the only one to say he’s on Onlyfans 
it’s a porn site not a dating site…if you don’t want porn then express it and go from there
Have you talked to your husband? Not to sound insensitive but that should have been the first thing you did…not necessarily ran to fb for advice. Make it known it made you feel inadequate for his needs. Maybe suggest some sex counciling. Before anything else, have a real conversation.
Have an open dialogue with him about it before making any decisions. Therapy seems like a good option for you all if you’re wanting to continue the marriage.
2 Likes
I wouldn’t put up with it I would leave .
1 Like
Talk to him ! If he’s on a dating site to me that is cheating. But call those sex lines can’t say it’s cheating or not . I would like it at all. But it’s no different then them looking at girly magazines. Maybe he has sexual fantasies that he’s embarrassed about . If that’s it then maybe y’all need to start trying different things in the bedroom! But I would definitely recommend all to him comely. Good luck !
Communication and time
Counseling
Ask him why?
What’s his reasoning?
He’s looking for more than what you give:heavy_heart_exclamation:
it won’t stop by him messaging n commenting on pictures. It’s gona get worse
3 Likes
It’s hard to gain that trust again. I recently found out my husband has been buying nudes and asking them to show their Beautiful face. He don’t say that or calls me Beautiful. I also found out he has been talking to an old girlfriend too. I am in a place where I can’t trust him anymore. I can’t believe him when.he says he’ll stop. Because we went down this road before & he left me for another woman he said he wasn’t talking to. We worked it out then,but now he has made me so insecure because of what he has been doing. He made me feel like I am not Beautiful or have the skinny body or I’m not the right color of skin. He hasn’t been very sexual since I found out. I feel like things are slowly coming to an end for us. I love him with all my heart, but he don’t seem to love me that way anymore. I hope you are able to work through it. It happened once, and happened again. I feel like it will keep happening & I can’t stop him. You have to ask him straight out what it is he wants otherwise you’ll be the only one whose hurt & trying to make it work. Good luck.
1 Like
Don’t listen to these women telling you to leave. Sit down and talk to him about it. Maybe he’s bored or just like to talk dirty and don’t feel he can do that with you.
3 Likes
Only you know if it’s worth ending your marriage. If to you this has betrayed your trust then absolutely consider whether you can look him in the eye again. Or allow him to put his arms around you again. 🫂
If he has not done anything physically yet, most likely he will, he is cheating on you emotionally, he’s looking for someone else, he pretends well and lies to you.
He might stop temporary when you confront him but eventually he will do it again, it’s in him and you never ever going to have a piece in your mined, you will never trust him and always have to walk on eggshells. It’s up to you how you like to live.
3 Likes
Is it huge to you? Do you feel like it should end? Do you want to try therapies? This is a you thing love. You are the one living it so it is up to your heart where to go. If you’re unsure today about divorce try therapy and see how YOU feel. Some would cut and run and some would stay. But none know you. I can say don’t make a decision from fb advice because we aren’t you. But whatever you choose you got this!
3 Likes
Sorry I know you’re hurting I’ve been through something very similar. I was married over 20 years, 2 kids. My ex was chatting up ‘friends’ on social media too. I really tried not to be threatened by it, (they’re Just talking right?) but one female was relentless and even contacted me to tell me about how my marriage couldn’t handle this and we should just break up. This was someone in his hometown (across the country) that he later met with when he was there visiting family. (I couldn’t get the time off work) I found out Later and was devastated. I told him to cut her Off Completely and we got into couples counseling. We started building a new home and it felt like a fresh start, I was so happy. While on Vaca with my ex and his family his phone kept ringing and I picked it up. (He was sleeping off the drink from the night before) It was a diff woman sending him 
! Because he’d sent her a message the day before “if I were your husband I would show you how you’re supposed to be treated” He then told me, she’s going through a divorce and I’m making her feel good about herself. I said, what about making your own wife feel good about herself?! I also shortly after found out he was still taking to his homie behind my back. She just wasn’t rubbing my face in it anymore. I told him I was able to get past that because (counseling and) he told me they would never communicate again. I told him I thought our new house was a new fresh start but he brought her along with us. It was really the end for our marriage. I Always tell anyone asking that if they’re married they should always try counseling (unless there’s abuse) before they walk away. I felt like I had tried everything and it just wasn’t working for us. I’m remarried now to a beautiful soul that brings me joy I didn’t know could exist, and I strive to show him how much I truly appreciate him. We’re both on our 2nd (last) 
marriages and we understand that even in the happiest marriages they take work and commitment. I don’t regret my first marriage (no one should), I learned so much about myself and I grew through the experience. I’ve grown so much I recognize that even 5 years ago I wouldn’t have even attempted to date my now Hubs because I needed time to work on Me without the distraction of a Partner. All experiences have brought me to this place today and I’m so full of Gratitude 
5 Likes
To be having dirty chats with other women he took it to the next level. Video dating he’s looking for someone else…do u want to be with a man you can not trust because u love him NO…the only person this is hurting is you , wow and on your phone. He’s waiting to be caught. I’m sorry you want better FOR YOURSELF AND KIDS.
Is it all talk or do you know that he has acted on anything ? Talk to him and find out. Communication is the key first of all. Some guys just like to pump themselves up with talk. But if he’s acting on it then thats another story. If its all talk he needs to stop it NOW ! Tell him it hurts and disrespects you and you deserve and expect better than that from him. That is just my opinion. I hate yo see you end a marrage if it can be salvaged. Try marriage counseling. Good luck, I truly mean that.
1 Like
Are you looking for sympathy or advice. Because you dont wantnus to tell you what you need to hear, which is that you need to get out. Leave that man yesterday
2 Likes
In all honesty I had to take myself out of the equation because things didn’t change… I have more pride than that, not to mention self worth after leaving him…
1 Like
You make the choice that either your not communicating your needs to each other correctly. He obviously is missing something that he can’t get from you , figure that out, talk openly and give him the chance to stop,
Then on the other hand if my so called loving husband did this I would call my marriage over !
Not a good question to ask others. It doesn’t matter what others think. It matters what you think. What you feel. What you can live with. You really need to sit down and think things through and decide for yourself. Do not ever allow what other people are okay with dictate you and your life. Good luck and I’m sorry for his behavior.
6 Likes
This could be a serious addiction that he will need help to stop. Sit him down ask him why? If the answer is “I don’t know” remind him he is an adult and you are there to understand so please explain your actions. Look at councillors close to you,who deal with addiction of any kind. Then hand him their number, get help and we will see where that leaves our marriage.
100% I’d be gone. You deserve better.
2 Likes
My advice is this: You only get what you are willing to put up with. So the choice is yours alone. You have decide if your marriage is worth saving & what your terms will be in your marriage. You are allowed to know your own value & set requirements.
1 Like
I think it is based on your decision we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors but based on what you said he has done this before my question is did you explain that it bothered you and if you did then he should know where you stand when you explain that something hurts you and they continue to do so then it’s a red flag if it bothers you that much talk to him and see what he says
Counseling and if you both are willing to work it out, do it:heart:
Relationships can come back from this but it won’t be easy:heart:
1 Like
It is very difficult. To split everything…but u wouldn’t be the one causing it he is. Can u trust him to not go further? Is it just talk? If he is really so happy why does he have the need to talk to other girls? Why is he hiding it?
If he’s really just goofing off then he shouldnt feel the need to hide it…
I’ve been cheated on my my husband of 10 years, by my best friend whose husband was over seas… If it doesn’t seem right trust ur gut cause it’s not. No matter what lie they try to feed u. Do t drag urself through more then u have to. And don’t let it kids watch him do it to u. U deserve better. They deserve better.
2 Likes
Sadly your trust is broken and that’s something that’s hard to bring back but with counselling and a talk I’m sure you could pave the road to recovery beautiful 
2 Likes
Technology is only getting better & easier to get whatever you want, did he say why he felt the urge to take this risk? This big, huge risk? Does he want roll play or certain fantasies he wants fulfilled? Your marriage could be great, but are you on the same page across the board? Sex is important to some people, especially after kids are gone, maybe he has kinks… im not saying what he did is right or wrong, but he did it for a reason & maybe you both can fix it
ugh yeah it’s “that” huge you show him how he can treat you by accepting that behavior
2 Likes
Ugh. I would do it back see how he likes it lol
2 Likes
Sorry to hear your goin though this. I think you need to sit down and talk with your husband and ask him to be open and honest with you about why it is that he’s on these sites, from what you’ve said there is definitely a reason he’s doin it… If he can talk with you openly and honesty and you need to let him know how its affecting you, sometimes when we don’t feel like we can communicate about our sexual desires and fantasies with our partners then that’s unfortunately when we going looking else where to fulfil our desires - i think being able to openly talk with each other is important.
2 Likes
He’s broken your trust. Without trust there is no respect and without that…there is no relationship. I understand you still care for him but you can’t change this. Get out and do it safely. With a plan.
1 Like
My parents were married for 22 years before they separated due to my dad’s infidelity. My mom would’ve stayed, 100%, but he’d made up his mind. It ended up working out better in the long run for both of them, but it’s a hard decision. Overall, their marriage was solid. Is therapy an option here? And I mean for everyone - you, your husband, and both of you together, plus possibly your kids in the future. Either way, I’m sorry, this sucks. 
1 Like
IVE BEEN THROUGH THIS… HE CHANGED LIKE YEARS LATER 
Hes awesome now but it took a loooong time and alot of heartbreak and stress
Just need to think if its worth sticking out.
Also he needs consequences or he will keep doing it if you allow.
What i learnt.
3 Likes
He won’t ever stop if you keep letting him get away with it! He has disrespected you, betrayed you and kept secrets…it’s on you at this point
2 Likes
see a therapist by yourself first then later as a couple,it will really help
4 Likes
I’ve been thru this. I won’t go into details on here. If you would like to chat you can message me privately. Hugs mama
2 Likes
Get professional counseling to see the right path forward. Please do not go to a religious counselor because they will 99%of the time tell you to forgive and stay when it may not be in your best interest because they are slanted that way. Good Luck
1 Like
So true, off the very first two sentences…shouldn’t have to but hey:smirk:here we are 
Talk to him. I don’t think he wants to end his marriage over this and neither do you but pornography is addictive and like any addiction he needs help. You two are going to need a counselor and he will need therapy. If you love ea other and he is willing to do the work you will get through it. It won’t be easy but I wish you and your family all the best
I think it honestly comes down to whether or not you think he would do anything in person rather than online. From there, you need to ask yourself if you can get past him speaking to others while being with you. It’s a hard decision.
1 Like
Sounds like your husband has some kind of mental condition like a serial killer. Not that he is a serial killer but a second personality that you never know about like Dahmer’s neighbor’s didn’t.
Sorry but for your self worth you need to leave . You deserve better from the father of you kids . He is not only disrespecting you he is disrespecting the children as well . He is teaching them to be dishonest and that it is ok to lie and be deceiving.
5 Likes
My ex was like this. He had a serious addiction. Sadly, his mother told me about him getting it from his father. She even mentioned that my ex’s last gf left because of finding it. I openly talked about how I felt and setting boundaries to remove these apps, but they would sneak back on his phone or he would get real gutsy and talk to women, including one that I knew, on Facebook. He hid it well most of the time so I thought he was done, but I found that they never stop. I gave him one last chance to go to counseling, and he didn’t. I broke off the engagement, moved out, and cut my loss of 3 years.
4 Likes
He’s dipping back into it. It’s the threshold to physical adultery. You can talk to him, but you won’t trust him online again. It’ll make you mad if you don’t get a handle on it soon. Not a life to live. Promise!
4 Likes
Sometimes this additional attention he is seeking from outside your marriage is because he maybe doesn’t feel like his desires/needs are being met on the sexual side of things. I would try marriage counseling, maybe the two of you sit down alone and have a heart to heart about your sexual desires, wants, needs, fantasies, things you’d like to explore, etc. If you feel your marriage is worth saving, then it by all means in worth saving. Sexual desires can be a tricky thing to navigate if you can’t openly have a discussion about them because beings sexually satisfied is absolutely part of a healthy relationship.
3 Likes
My personal opinion - Get family counselling together would be my advice. Get professional help, don’t get help from here. These things can be sorted but you both need help if you want to save your marriage
3 Likes
Well, communicate with him and let him know how you feel, maybe you guys can come to a compromise about his problem but make a rule of always being honest about whatever you guys decide on. Could he have a sex addiction maybe?
Wait, did I understand correctly that he’s using her phone to do this stuff? That’s like an added layer of disrespect.
I can’t say necessarily end your marriage. Especially when you’re so unsure at this moment and you have kids. But definitely address it and create some personal boundaries for yourself until you have time to think about what you want to do. Just don’t talk about it while the kids are home.
I’ll never understand how people commit and marry each other, only to lust and emotionally (and physically) cheat with others. It’s all energy that should of been used on the person the cheater claimed to love. So many humans lack this integrity and morals. Just be in an open relationship if you lack these traits. Watching a random stranger in porn is one thing, but when you’re messing around with a live human engaging with you by video or messages, it’s another story. It’s cheating. You know what the next step could be, if it hasn’t already happened.
Know your worth, sweetie.
Your kids deserve a happy mom.
Seek help for yourself at the very least.
I’m sorry you’re hurting.
Would it be ok with you if either of your beautiful children’s future partners were doing this to them? Children learn what is acceptable by what you teach them and even if they don’t know about this now they will and it will shape them.
7 Likes
Throw a plate at the wall, tell it your sorry & glue it back together… Same goes with trust. Once it’s broken it’ll ALWAYS be broken. Ppl never really change, I’m so sorry…
6 Likes
Answer this…. Would you let a man/woman treat your child with the same disrespect? I’m guessing no. Basic decency is what you’re asking for and not getting…
1 Like
Might be a way he is bringing money in like a fans only account type shit. It is not right by any means but maybe that is what he is doing
That’s such a personal decision. You should not ask anyone what they think, but you need to look inside yourself and weigh your options. I know it isn’t easy, but no one needs to be making that decision for you.
2 Likes
Cheating is cheating
7 Likes
its a addiction and its not your fault he needs help ,
3 Likes
I almost did because of this my husband cried and apologized for everything and hasn’t done it since
He needs to be willing to admit to what he’s done and accept that it was absolutely wrong. He needs to get counseling ASAP and then you guys should also do couples counseling. It’s not ON YOU to build trust back up for him ITS ON HIM. HE NEEDS TO PUT IN THE WORK. Unless he’s over it…? Really be completely open and honest and see what he is willing to do to fix this. This was absolutely wrong and it’s cheating in my eyes FOR SURE. ONLY leads to worse and worse. Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody (your wife🤷🏼♀️) is watching. Respect and trust are essential for a solid relationship and marriage.
6 Likes
Actions speak louder than words though. If he can do that to you with no guilt, that shows exactly how he truly feels about you. No person deserves that. You may love him, but he doesn’t love you as equally. You can’t keep putting yourself through that. The past 8 years was only happy and strong because you didn’t know what he was doing. No relationship can be the same after what was in the shadows comes out
9 Likes
My problem is that it’s happened before…. I would not try anymore. I’m all for a SECOND chance … but especially since it’s been “8 years” I would have a very hard time believing it’s really been 8 years and this would be a 3rd chance.
3 Likes
Definitely try counseling. I’m all for trying to fix a marriage any way possible before leaving comes to the table. Wishing you the best of luck!
1 Like
Online cheating is still cheating. Period. Can you live with it? If not can you live w the distrust?
2 Likes
Obviously this is a deal breaker for you, so you need to tell him how bad this makes you feel and maybe go to counselling
1 Like
There is such a thing as addiction to porn. If things have not progressed beyond online and he is willing, perhaps try a rehabilitation program first.
End it. He shows no sign of stopping. No respect for you.
2 Likes
To the people saying that he just needs more excitement and that she should spice it up … .shame on you!!! His cheating is HIS FAULT. HIS PROBLEM. You talk to your partner. NOT cheat. She did nothing wrong nor is the cause of it. She could do all the tricks of a porn star and it still not be enough. Please don’t encourage her to become “more exciting” in the hopes of saving her marriage. He needs to be a grown ass man and stop hoeing around. Period.
No amount of love is worth going through this
4 Likes
You need to really decide if this can be something you can eventually move on from. If you will hold grudges and resentment it won’t be good for anyone including your kids. There’s a saying “ kids would rather come from a broken home than be in one” Hope you look deep within and find your happiness wherever that may be
3 Likes
Honestly I went through something similar in 2019 I stayed and am still there working on it every day let’s just say it’s definitely not easy I have not been able
To get the trust back to like it was before we been togethor since
2006 and I’m trying so so hard he has not really worked on changing to much or even at helping me get the reassurance that I need, some days I see other relashionshipa or even other men showing their partner what I want an it saddens me even more. Ive come to the conclusion he’s just not capable of it and some days I wonder if I can live with that. Keep
Your head up is say pray on it but I’m not religious it is hard it’s heart wrenching only u no how much u can take if u ever need to vent or talk I’m here
7 Likes
My husband and I went through a rough patch where I actually fell back into an addiction and spent some time in jail. It was by far the hardest time of my life bc we had a 9 month old baby girl and I was away from her for a few months. He was 100% sure that I had cheated right before getting into trouble, I had NOT however but obviously he had the idea in his head. While I was in jail we split and he planned to divorce me and take my daughter. Fast forward a month or so and he decided to work things out, to give me a chance to be better and to keep our family together. He has always been so attentive and loving and was still when things were back on track with us. While I was away and he had that thought in his mind, he met a girl online and started a “relationship” with her via private message, text chat and phone calls. They exchanged a lot of information, dirty pics and he even sent her a pic of my daughter. When we decided to make it work I was still in jail and was there another 6 -10 weeks after that . He swore that he told her he was ending it and to have no further communication with him. That wasn’t entirely true and he went on to talk to her for another month behind my back before ending it. He apologized and said it was a mistake, and that he was still working through his feelings of feeling betrayed and screwed up. That was 4 years ago and although she has come up in conversations thru the years bc I was so hurt by it, as far as I know, they had no further communication. Recently she tracked him down, he had changed his number, email and cancelled that account. She lives a state or so away, which is mainly why they were never able to meet up thank God! Anyways she started messaging him and sending him pics. He didn’t tell me, I found out on my own. He said he didn’t tell me bc he knew it would cause problems. He didn’t respond or anything, but he hid it from me, allowed her to keep messaging him and even forwarded the messages and pics to his email. When I confronted him, he said he had sent her one message only and it was to never contact him again. This b had searched him and knew our address, where he works and etc. it was too much let me tell ya. I threw a fit when I found out he had forwarded them esp the pics to his email. He said the reason he did it was so he could print them out and have proof for the police if need be bc she was starting to go all stalkerish and he was prepared to contact the authorities bc she kept threatening to come to my house. Ok, so I told him no, I didn’t want him to keep them, so he deleted them from email. As we all know though, there is always the trash until you empty it. I kind of confronted him about still having them in his trash and he swore they were gone now. Of course I checked and they were not! apparently he had emptied the trash on the computer itself and not the email. He isn’t super tech savvy but a part of me felt like he knew the difference. He did delete the trash after this and that was that. He has blocked her number and email and we haven’t heard from her since. My problem is, was he trying to keep the pics in a way? She is alright looking, I guess but I think she is hideous obviously. Right. He is still super attentive to me, super loving and sweet, works hard and is supportive of me. We have a 4 and 2 year old and he is the best father too. He is always attracted to me and always makes me feel wanted. But, I have put on weight since our last baby and don’t feel good about my appearance at all. He doesn’t even act like he has even noticed or if he has, he doesn’t care. It was super hard to move passed that! I didn’t want to end this really great thing we have but I felt lied to and like he was trying to hide things. It’s all in your heart girl! You have to make the decision either way and commit to it 100%! Whatever you chose, we’re all here to support you!
Communication between you and your husband- what is his intent? Is there a kink he has that maybe he is ashamed of sharing (talking dirty, a ‘look’, an ‘act’, etc.)? Can you live with the root of the issue(the kink)? Now that this situation is on the table, how do you (each) see yourself moving forward(staying together, separation, counseling- what are the terms)?
1 Like
I left n divorced my ex bcuz of this. He was also having an affair with a co-worker. I’m sure there were many more I hadn’t Found out about bcuz I was happy at the time n wasnt looking 4 clues 2 his behavior. I cant tell u what 2 do but im my case I felt if i couldn’t trust him 2 have a phone or go 2 work then I didn’t see the point of being married any longer. I figured if He wanted 2 act like a single guy then he could b single. We were married 20 years. The last 3 of those years we were split n I was fighting 4 my divorce. He made it as difficult as he possably could. His behavior was/is disgusting. He has lived with several different women in the past 3 years.
2 Likes
You have two choices as I see it you can get some marriage counseling and try to work through it and past it or you can dissolve your marriage and move on with your life. This is only a decision you can make. Can you live with and work through the mistrust, resentment and anger? If so than I’d say you could resolve it. If not I’d say time to move on. Personally if you cheat on me in any way I am done 
that’s my only real deal breaker and I won’t tolerate it because I have to be able too trust the person I am with. I am sorry that your dealing with this hope it gets better for you!
1 Like
Love, talk to him. You won’t get answers here. Talk to him, understand his frame of mind and see if its something you accept or not and explain to him what this means to you. Best of luck.
2 Likes
I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425245314/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_TW20Z1YEF0RGHH7XKVKV
This will help you decide if you want to salvage your marriage and if you do, help you to do so. Highly recommend this book.
I am getting the vibe that he is not happy with the bedroom life and wants to spice things up but maybe doesn’t know how to tell you. Now with that being said, it does not justify what he is or has done. If taking it further in the bedroom is something you can do then that and counseling might could help you overcome all this. But as a woman I know how hard it is to forget the things in the past. Marriage is hard and sometimes becomes a routine, if you don’t take date nights or try new things in the bedroom things kinda fall apart slowly, us women can handle that stuff because most are moms and our plates are full. But men not so much, we have to learn to balance ourselves. Our kids are most important and we get lost in them easily and push our husbands away because we are tired and exhausted. And that is normal life, some men can handle that and some can’t , so you might have to put the extra work in to bring him back to you if you are willing. I know from my experience I couldn’t but some can. I’m just speaking to you as a normal human being and my experiences . I hope you can figure all of it out and wish you the very best!
3 Likes
Slight? He doesn’t care or love you enough to quit cheating. He doesn’t respect you. Take care of yourself and the kids. Why live with a cheater?
1 Like
I left my ex because of this. He said he was gonna stop and I found more sights with the same shit.
I do know married women who check out the dating sights with no intentions of acting on them. If your happy you will come to an understanding with him. Let him know how much it hurts you. If he needs a sex therapist make him an appointment if he can’t be trusted with a phone or computer well
Have you ever asked him…and he gives you a real answer Why he needs these sites??
Is it the different women??
Different sex??
Or plain addiction??
Maybe if you haven’t got full answers ever you should discover why?? Then make decisions
Marriage vows just don’t seem to resonate with some people. I hope you can overcome this and every struggles you may encounter in the future.
2 Likes
Love yourself more than you love him. This is a big deal. You’ve already mentally checked out of the relationship. Now, the question is, how much of your soul do you give up and stay for the kids sake?
4 Likes
Sound like he’s a sec addict. I’m going to guess this has been going on. You only caught him twice. There is help out three
3 Likes
It sounds like you’ve already decided to stay no matter what, so you have two options: marriage counseling or simply accepting this is just who he is. Best of luck to you.
3 Likes
He will probably continue to do this… you should leave…
1 Like
Counselling? It’s a tough one. I caught my Husband doing the same thing 11 years later and it still niggles at me. 