Is my stepson being disrespectful?

That’s bs he’s 30 year old spoiles best that needs too move out of your mothers house and grow tfu

Sounds too dramatic and like you are enabling those kids

I can’t understand this.

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“if” I am reading right, not fair!

Why??would you not help your OWN child first, if this is in fact actually your deceased mother’s home,BUT you’re allowing this kinda *Horseshit to go on with your husbands son?
Sounds like you’re not telling something completely right here???leaving out alot more of the story.
Sorry,No decent mother does this to her own blood.

First off yes he’s being disrespectful but if you weren’t going to loan the car he has a right to ask his mom grandma bother aunt he is an adult if he needs a ride he can get a Lyft or public transport you can’t be mad about that. But you not helping your daughter is crap all because she didn’t want to raise her siblings like you need to get your priorities straight. She should never have to raise her siblings you aren’t ill or unable that is just fucked up in so many ways and if I were her I would cut you out completely. It sounds like you guys need therapy to work your family stuff out

What kind of mom are u? U allow ur disrespectful STEP son to live rent free in 1 of ur homes but yet make ur daughter struggle because she refuses to help u raise the child u asked for… Did u ever think she moved far away because u treat her like a baby sitter instead of ur daughter? Instead of complaining about ur disrespectful son and how ur daughter won’t help u go get some damn help for yourself because u have lost sight of what the right thing is to do…

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This sounds like a whole big ass mess. 1. You let a 30 year old live rent free- that in itself is enabling him. 2. Your husband sounds like a bit of an ass with the “go in the house and shut up”. 3 your mad at your grown daughter for wanting to go have a life and not be your babysitter. Maybe the issue really lies within you. Go take your deceased’s mom’s house back -that’s utter disrespect to her. What kinda shit show are y’all running over there?

I had to re read that first sentence atleast 5 times before I figured out what you were trying to say. The rest was only slightly better. I can’t give any advice when I can barely understand what your talking about :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_facepalming:t3:

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Create borders for yourself - and stick to them.
it’s the sane thing to do - and in the long run - the loving thing to do.

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Once children who are dependent on you are refused, they are often not very nice. The only way to stop their predatory behavior is to set ground rules and stick to them. Both husband and wife have to agree and then stand their ground. If I were her, I would sit down with hubby and say that. If he doesn’t agree, she will not be able to do anything. I personally would not stay with someone that wouldn’t do that because these kind of situations don’t get better, they get worse. I would tell the son living in her mother’s house that they have 4 mos. To find a place to live. Since they are not paying rent, they should be able to save up rent. In 4 mos. If they are making no moves to get out, I would give them a warning that a notice of eviction will come in 1 mo. I would video each meeting including any aggression. All of that is important. In 1 month I would have the eviction sent and then let court take over. They may trash the house and for that there will be no recourse. All aggression should be reported to the police so they understand you are not playing. Allowing ones children to behave in this manner is doing them no favors. Life does not owe you a living. They will never be better without some tough love.

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Tbh ppl if you’re smart enough you can figure it out the bits and pieces here. Give a helpful opinion if you can.
My thing is what is the husband doing? I’d get that boy of his out of your mothers house, fast.

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I just can’t get behind “you moved there, youre on your own” thing…
Needing money because her car broke down, if you can afford it, even a little bit, it should be done, unless they are in drugs and stuff.
This just feels grossly spiteful…
If you struggle sometimes, get help, that’s not wheat your kids are for

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Yes, he is being disrespectful. But on another note, your daughter was NOT being disrespectful just by moving to another city. Maybe there was something else there…but if all she did was move away then she did nothing wrong.

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Wow, that’s just a lot of messed up, and I don’t just mean the spelling and the grammar. First, why punish your daughter for moving to a different city? It’s not her responsibility to take care of her sister. Next, that step son is going to keep acting up as long as daddy and grandma coddle him. He’s 30, he should be responsible with a job and pay rent and take care of the house he lives in. You can and should kick him out. Lastly, the husband is a real piece of work as well. I’d get rid of him too cause clearly he’s not on your side.

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You decided to stop helping her kids because she decided to move city? Bad form. The lady is entitled to her own life.

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Your husband is not respecting you by allowing his son to disrespect you. Also, why are you holding that your daughter moved away against her? That sounds a little too childish. It is not your daughter’s responsibility to help you with your other kids, having another kid was your choice. I do think you shouldn’t be helping your husband’s son if he is disrespectful to you.

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Oh man anyone else have trouble reading this? It is just such a mess i have no idea what she is trying to say :\

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OG: you already know it’s disrespectful. You already know it all is a train wreck. I know most of us would love to help with advice, but that starts with you being honest with us, and if you are asking for an answer you already know, it won’t make any difference to your bottom line. You have become a dumping ground for you husband, and for bio and step kids…address that with a profession therapist, that is the only thing you need to work on right now.

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You really really should read before you post. Half of this didn’t even make sense. Most of it actually.
But kick em to the curb. They’re grown ass adults. You only help people who help themselves. My mom taught me that.

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I got very lost in the mess. Sorry.

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One rule for one, one for all. Your stepson shouldn’t be living in your mothers property rent free if your unable to help your own child when they need it either.
I’d be evicting the step son if he wont pay rent also.

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Disrespectful is putting it lightly, He’s just one of those family member that want a piece of the cake that you put out their. And he’s not happy with just one piece He’s going for the whole freaking cake .Tell him man-up . . … tough-love is around the corner . !! Stand tough

No woman deserves to be treated like this,sell your mums house and kick your husband and his son out.Sounds like these 2 think they can do whatever but think about yourself.

No you’re not wrong and yes your stepson is being very disrespectful and your husband needs to put a stop to it …if he doesn’t I wouldnt stay with him if it was me …

Kick him out and let me move in there I will take care of everything. That is just so rude of them no respect for you and same for your husband

You are letting your children run over you, stand up for yourself, have some boundaries and consequences for crossing them.

He’s a fucking ass and abusive. Stay away from him, someone is going to end up hurt.you and hubby need some counseling to help you deal with all this.

Either sell or move into your mom’s house dump the husband good luck

Tbh it all just sounds like drama :woman_shrugging: He’s disrespecting you, you’re disrespecting your daughter by punishing her for moving away, husband doesn’t sound much better either.

I’m not being disrespectful, but is this fair dinkum?

You referred to your daughter as “which I adopted”. That, speaks volumes to me. I’m done!

It was painful to read. I hope English is her second language.:thinking:

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First of all you are spiteful to your own daughter for attempting to move on with her life because you expect her to help you raise your own kids, and now you’re mad your other kid found help when you refused to do so. Hell nah. You’re one of those parents who want their children to suffer because you did. Fuck outta here with that shit.

Oh no his butt would be on the street put a stop to it right now!! My husband would never tell me to shut up!!!

If you are able, you should always help your child, but there’s a difference in helping and being taken advantage of.

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No. You are doing the right thing. They will just continue to take advantage of you

What a dumpster fire.

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Okay I had a hard time reading this.

But why is someone living somewhere they don’t pay for first off.

What a HORRIBLE lesson to be teaching. FUNNY how it’s always MEN who believe they don’t have to pay for what they use. Don’t pay the phone bill phone gets taken away. Pretty straight forward.

Next FAQ or children’s aid that is neglect don’t know the ages of children but food leads to bugs and rodents so for a man that won’t pay rent guaranteed there is an infestation of something.

Which he is ruining the value of the home. Contact the Trustee and get said person evicted he is ruining an asset that your family can use to rent for more income or sell (but renters can increase the value of your home)

Next how he raises the kids you have a right to step in.

This is your step son that doesn’t understand the basics of living on their own, he needs to get a bus pass not entitled enough to demand a new car. If he isn’t working and on government assistance that’s not acceptable either. Raise his non existing rent and make a lease hold him ACCOUNTABLE!

End of discussion MAKE HIM ACCOUNTABLE.

Next for your daughters are you punishing them for moving away? 1. Did they move because it’s cheaper rent while your son in law lives RENT FREE FOR NO REASON!
2. Did they move for work? Are they following the money?
3. They call you asking for help cause their car stops running (which depending on where it died could have possibly be dangerous. Calling for help can get your car impounded or scrapped)
4. You told them no because they moved? Way to make your love convince only :unamused:
5. Did you give your step son a car yet your daughter out of town has to suffer?

And more questions. How come your daughters have to work their asses off and still get sent away yet this SON doesn’t work hard, doesn’t take care of himself, has no respect or manners YET YOU GIVE HIM EVERYTHING.

And you can’t tell me you don’t give him EVERYTHING

Do your daughters pay rent for their homes? Exactly.

Absolutely disgusting that you have coddled him and have sent your daughters away for the same reason. I just can’t.

The 30 year old step son needs to move out and the husband too

Get rid of them all!! Problem solved🤔

Kick him out of your house…or start charging him rent…30 is old enough to have responsibilities

This is way to common. Once the parents start paying for basic needs for adults they set a precedent. Usually it’s the mother who is the enabler. At a point the parents want to turn off the money faucet and the adult children excommunicate them. It always turns out bad.

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Were to old to be putting up with ungrateful shit like that kick his ass out along with the stupid Dad that doesn’t back u up with the behaviour of his ungrateful son. Just ask your self WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST SENARIL. and do it cause it well eat u up inside.

Did your mother leave her house to you? I it in your name? If so evict his ass. You do not owe a 30 year old man and his kids anything. As for your husband, he’s a POS. Get rid of him. Move into your mother’s house and get restraining orders on all of them. Sounds harsh, but ain’t nobody gonna take care of you but you.

Those sound like some grown ass toddlers. Why does his step son not pay rent on ur deceased mothers house? And why haven’t u evicted him over the condition he keeps ur moms house in? If u both agreed to stop helping the GROWN kids, then u both need to stop entertaining their entitled tantrums. U don’t owe any of them a car or a house. They are adults. Tough love started in my parents home LONG before I could vote. I had jobs and money and even a secret savings acct! If my parents can raise me like that by the age of 15, then lazy 30 something needs to get a freaking clue and start paying for his own ass, considering he should already be paying for the asses he created. His Kids. If u go running home to mom and dad every time u need anything, u are NO manner of parent ur damned self. U can’t teach ur children to grow to be independent if ur never going to stop sponging of daddy. They are going to have to Get jobs, get their own places, fix their own cars and buy their own IPhones. U are grandparents now. If ur going to throw money their way, it should be in the form of gifts to the children. U don’t owe never ending dependence to a bunch of perfectly capable adults.

Kick your step son and kids out your mommas house he’s a grown man with his disrespectful self

Start charging rent. End of.

Fuck him help your kids

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No, you’re not wrong.

Kick the bastard out!

Throw him out if the house, then sell it.

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