I have two older teenage daughters, and neither has wanted to drive yet (so no real independence from myself or my father). I would expect them to start dating soon, as they haven’t yet. Being more liberal and feminist, I like to think they will approach sexual health and sex in a pragmatic way. I have been considering giving them a gift card to Amazon, which they could use to pick out and order a vibrator. I hope they can learn and understand their bodies themselves in private, prior to starting relationships with other people. Although I find this acceptable personally, I have been raised in such a conservative and sex-shaming home myself, I just haven’t brought myself to the conversation with them. Is this just “too weird” or on track for open, healthy discussion with my girls?
No offense. I think that’s very weird. I feel like masturbation is something you figure out on your own.
Healthy, open conversations are best. 
i wish you good luck
I personally think this is strange and not a good idea and I would be really embarrassed as a teenager having this conversation with my mom. And my mom was extremely open. I think masturbation is about self-exploration and I’m thinking you probably don’t need to buy them a vibrator.
to many this is probably taboo. I didn’t get sexual health talks. (Btw wish I did even if I was shy about it) Communication goes a long way to me. Just be open and see if they are receptive. Give them the cards and the choice. Tell them its nothing to be ashamed about and leave it at that. Let them decide when and how they’ll take it from there. best of luck momma.
I find it very weird tbh. I just feel like that’s an adult thing and probably not for children to start doing. But I know we all have our own parenting preferences. I just personally wouldn’t be doing that…
I know children start to learn how to do that stuff on their own, but I think a vibrator is a little too much
I think it’s unconventional, but if it seems natural and you have open conversations for your family, then go ahead. When my boys become older they will be supplied with condoms.
Um…yikes…they’re teens. I dont think you want to end up with a pregnant teen…do you?
Healthy sex talks and questions etc totally ok but I’d draw the line at buying your daughters vibrators… I’d say that’s more of a personal thing they should decide on their own if they want to take that next step to self discovery when they are good and ready. Best of luck. Xxx
I understand wanting to have an open and healthy discussion and relationship to sex but it’s definitely not the norm, I truly think starting off the conversation and showing openness before giving them a gift card and telling them to get a vibrator may be better. I mean, give them a gift card for whatever they want to buy with it
Have the talk, explain, then drive them to a sex store and give them $ to shop themselves.
Buying them a vibrator is a little weird…if they want one they’ll get themselves one. Trust me.
I think that’s a conversation they have with their boyfriends as they experiment 
While I think it’s weird to offer them a vibrator like that, maybe just have the open discussion with them about masturbation and how you don’t want them to feel ashamed. Yes, they will most likely be embarrassed but this is something that obviously you feel like needs to be said, so have the discussion.
Most people have said it’s weird. Maybe they are referring to the gift card. But hey, it’s your kids and how you want to raise them is how you raise them. Talking to your kids and telling them sex and masturbation is normal, is not weird though, and should be done more so kids don’t feel ashamed for normal feelings.
I wish my mother did this for me! I dont see anything wrong with it! My mother never even had a sex talk with me when i was a teen which led to me doing some questionable and unsafe things. Please educate them on safe sex and masturbation!
Yeah definitely weird. Way over stepping here.
I grew up in a house where my mother and I had a good relationship and talked about sex, marriage Ext. My mother was very open. However if my mother bought me a vibrator I would of been appalled. That’s more of an adult thing then a teenage thing. And if there into that, as some are not they will do that on there own when there ready.
I talked to my girls about learning and exploring their own bodies but thats enough in my opinion. Teaching about sex and self pleasure does not cause pregnancy, Quite the opposite actually. Education is power!
Okay no, I understand you’re trying to be nice but that would be extremely awkward and just weird. It’s weird to think of your kids doing that imo. I would really just talk to them together. Just bring it up and take it on all at once. Inform them about being safe, discuss birth control, and tell them that it’s okay to be curious about themselves & it’s okay to ask you questions if they have any!! Do not buy them vibrators lmao
If they are older teens then they probably already know, I’m sure they’ve had lessons in school, heard all about it from their friends, and read about it online. I wouldn’t worry too much about talking about the details if it makes you uncomfortable, maybe just a lesson on contraceptives/sexual health and consent.
Ummmm what? I’m not for or against this, surprisingly caught off guard when I read this, and that takes a lot. I understand where you’re coming from but I’m not so sure about the gift card for a vibrator part. I know that if my mom had done that when I was a teen I would’ve thought it was a trap 
I think it depends on them. I would have been super weirded out if my parents had that type of conversation with me. That’s not something especially as a teenager I would ever want to talk to them about. Maybe start to approach the conversation and see how they react to it. 
I think this is a great idea and not weird at all. Quite frankly I wish my mother would have done the same it would have saved me being embarrassed. I think you are going to get a lot of the “this is weird” comments from people because of the subject matter however, I urge you to do what you feel comfortable with and what works best for your parenting style. Some people are aren’t going to agree with this approach and that is okay.
There is such a thing as TOO progressive you know… Def have the talk with them but a vibrator for your teen daughter is a bit (way) too much. There is such a thing as normal and healthy parent TEEN child boundaries and personal i feel that would be innapropriate and crossing a line.
Sorry… that’s just too weird for me.
I think this is a little weird…give them a safe sex talk other then that I wouldn’t bring up any of that other stuff…and just let them know you are there for them for any questions they have
Sorry but that is to wield for me. Why would you want to by your children sex toys when they are still a child. Makes me think
Idk this gives gives me icky vibes
You said they really aren’t independent and yet you’re trying to buy them sex toys?? Whole thing is weird
Sounds to me like you might be trying to over compensate with your own girls because you were raised in an environment that was very closed to sexual conversation. Just be open to casual discussion with them, when they feel comfortable about it. Don’t be anxious or pushy about their sexuality, they’ll know when they are ready. And no, I’d never buy a vibrator for them, that’s overly personal and intrusive.
YOURE AN AMAZING MOM. let them enjoy their youth and try to get them to understand before they have sex to speak to you first. For them it might be awkward but you can help soooooo much with making sure they don’t get stds, pregnant or pick the wrong person.
My mom was actually very open and encouraging when it came to our bodies and what you are suggesting to me is a good idea. Girls should not have to sneak around to do such things. I mean I know parents who buy their sons condoms and most put there daughter’s on birth control. So why not let them pick something safer. That’s just my opinion though.
That’s too much, imo. There’s being open and unashamed and then there’s buying your children their first vibrator… I would have been mortified as a teen if my mother had done that.
Just keep them busy with good things. Things that will benefit them in the long run.
A vibrator . My heart goes to ur daughters .
good education. Sport .
How to grow as person . Religion virtual self defense classes to learn to defend themself in case someone want harm them .
Give them real tools to be someone u can be proud of .
I’d ask them if getting the Dr Ruth videos or talking with you is more comfortable to them and then just let them know that they have toys out there if they want one. Just let them know you can get a gift card for them if needed.
My mother was very open with me regarding sex once I became a teenager. She made it feel like a safe topic so when I felt like I needed help (I thought I was pregnant), I felt safe enough to tell her. She was mad, granted, but she got me in with an OBGYN. Thankfully I was not pregnant then. If she would have given me a vibrator, I would have died and thrown it away. Talk to them about safe sex, sex in general, masturbation, etc. but buying them a vibrator might be a bit much. I did get my first one at 18 (on my own when I was finally old enough to go buy one) and I trusted my mom enough to be able to confide in her and ask about it etc. Just be their safe place to land. The rest will figure itself out.
Better to have a talk with your girls than them learn from somewhere less reliable and get the wrong information. Sexual health is very important and you’re doing the right thing momma. Educate your girls so they can be empowered.
I couldn’t imagine being a teenager and my mom handing me a gift card and saying “go buy yourself a vibrator” LOL like what???
I was thinking oh no problem don’t push them to drive and then boy did I get my mind blowed!
How old are they?
Love what your doing BUT that may be too much that should be something they pick out in private it for a couple of reasons 1) could be embarrassing and may look like your forcing them into something they may not be ready for 2) every time they go to use toy they might think about who bought it and it might make them feel weird about it and you don’t that so I would suggeste the sex talk get them educated on it let them know your there if they want to talk or ask questions getting them on the pill so pregnancy doesn’t happen till they are ready be mom dont try to force the exploring your body thing who know maybe they are already doing it js
YES SO MUCH YES
BOYS BREAK HEARTS, TRANSMIT DISEASES, AND GET YA PREGNANT! Your vibrator does not! I give you so many kudos for not thinking like many of our prude caregivers/parents did and hide sexual pleasure. Totally normal, a healthy way to explore their anatomy. YOU ROCK!
Ya don’t give your daughters sex toys …nope . Talk to them .
I say go for it!!! Being healthy sexually is so important.
Have the sex talk with them and talk about hormones and let them know that there are ways of taking care of those feelings without another person. If they have questions answer them. Let them know your willing to go more into details about those things and purchase some stuff if they’d like. Everyone has different types of relationships with their children. I talk about all types of stuff with my mom. Toys and all. She is my best friend.
It would Have traumatized me if my mom bought me a vibrater. Honestly they may already be sexually actively as you said they are older teens and you may not know. Don’t assume anything they’re taught safe sex in school. I have older teens and without me they acquired those things. I found while cleaning. I just put them back and minded my own business Imagine them asking for batteries or a new toy. That would be uncomfortable if you made it too comfortable. Nothing like whipping out a vibrator bevaose mom said mom said it was ok. Might also make them think your ok with them being sexually active. Hugs no easy answer and every teen will take the conversation differently. Hugs. FYI shoppers drug mart has starter ones.
Also the really good ones are over 100$. There is a difference between a vibrator and dildo they also may not understand that. R u ok with them buyin. A dildo or do you have an opinion on what they have. My girls actually groaned when I tried to talk to them.
They may be asexual like myself or some people just need the time
I’m sorry but that’s just too weird … if my mom ever offered that I would be weirded out… just give the sex talk and no offense teenagers know a lot more then you think they do trust me just have the talk with them and if they see got questions take them to the gynecologist and make sure it’s a woman one.
Not gonna lie. If my mom did that to me as a teenager I would be absolutely mortified and humiliated. I get what you mean. But I feel like there is a way better way to go about it. Masturbation is about exploring your own body in your own way at your own time. By all means include it in the sex talk and let them know they can always come to you with questions. But this is too much.
Uh why are you HOPING your daughters buy a sex toy? I’m sorry but this whole post just comes off as you being weird as hell
If there not ready drive that’s fine.but buying an adult toy for them that’s a little to much just have a talk when comes time
Trying not too judge but you give me pedo vibes. Would never let my two daughters hang with other kids in your care. Sounds more like your itching for a friend then a child. Let them be free and innocent. As crazy as this world is and pushy for girls too be sexualized youd think as a woman and mother you’ve done something wonderful for your kids. Smfh this post is so creepy.
I would just give them the gift card and let them buy whatever they want with it without mentioning the vibrator. They might get one without you knowing but at least they have a way to buy one if they want one. When I was young I couldn’t get one without my mom knowing because I didn’t have a credit card. I don’t think it’s weird of you though. You’re a concerned mom and obviously not afraid to be open with your kids. Good for you👏🏼
Weird as hell, there body they can decide to buy one if they want…
Theres no rush in them pleasuring themselves, dont encourage it. It may backfire.
It’s also a bit odd to gift it to anyone other than a very good friend maybe.
Not trying to be rude first off BUT it sounds like you were raised in a very anti-sex family.
Having a very pro-sexual family is just as bad.
Buying vibrators for your daughters is creepy and gross IMO.
Have the sex talk and leave it at that.
Let them know they can come to you with questions and let it be.
Sex toys are for adults ma’am
Weird, out if touch mother.
This is so not appropriate. Have the talk and if they have questions answer them honestly. I know a lady that did buy her daughter a toy and the daughter told some other kids and her father. They were divorced. Division of child safety got involved and the mom lost custody of her daughter and her new born son in. (Different fathers)
Wtf did I just read
Sex education is taught in public schools in late elementary schools. Don’t embarrass them and yourself!
I went with my oldest and helped her pick a vibrator. She was on a path of ‘Oh, hell no!’ And a pandemic had hit. I had to do something to keep my baby safe, even if I was only saving her from herself. There is nothing wrong with encouraging a young woman to explore herself and to have orgasms alone.
This post has to be a wind up, who buys their teenage kids a vibrator
Let nature take its course.
I’m guessing older teen mean 16+. Under 16 I think would be something to avoid on the vibrator deal but the discussion of sex I feel you can always bring up conversation no matter the age. But really it comes down to what your comfortable what you feel your daughters would be comfortable with, because honestly think your mother humiliates with a topic how likely will they be to come talk about that topic later, but honestly my mother was open with any topic I had questions about even from a young age and honestly if asked her to help me find one or buy one I know she would have and wouldn’t have had any issues with it and it wouldn’t have been spoken about again after she helped me just to avoid more embarrassment. So I say you could probably just state if they have any questions about them you can help but leave it at that to avoid embarrassing them.
Inappropriate, so inappropriate. Have the sex talk, even though I’m sure they know about it already, and leave it at that. Let them be KIDS. No sense in pushing sex onto them.
I’d just let them know that if they ever want to talk about that then your door is open. Anything else is too much.
Uh, unless you girls are explicitly asking you for this, it’s too much…
I think you’re pushing them too hard to be sexual
Some people just aren’t sexual. I’m not. Some aren’t interested in relationships during their teenage years. Some aren’t interested in relationships at all. That’s okay! Lol thank goodness for them probably being interested in other things like school or hobbies.
Honestly, eww. It’s a big fat eww from me I would die of embarrassment if my freakin mom ordered me a vibrator. Sex talk? Sure. Talk about toy options and give them the freedom to buy their own, but eww. I personally wouldn’t.
To all the people calling the OP creepy, pedo, gross you all prolly grew up in households where sex is a ‘bad word’ and rape was swept under the rug.
I’m so sorry someone made sexuality a dirty forbidden thing for you.
why are you pushing them into sex? This doesn’t sound right.
I would not recommend Amazon but I would highly recommend pure romance as it is also educational
Let them lead. Be open to questions. That’s all you need to do.
I would have the adult sex talk and let them know you don’t condone them having sex but if they do they can trust you with that information, and if there is anything they need should they become sexually active to protect themselves, whether it be condoms and birth control, or self love items to avoid it all together, they can come to you and you can handle it discreetly. That way they can make the decisions themselves and you aren’t seeming to push them into it if they aren’t ready. I don’t think its creepy at all. If my kids were 16-18 I’d buy them self love toys if they asked for it! Better to masturbate than end up pregnant or impregnating some other teen or end up with some STD! Sex is going to happen people! It doesn’t matter what we do or how much we tell them not to do something, if they want to do it they will do it. Better to be safe and informed.
I think this is a great idea. Let them learn their body’s. When I was a teen I used stuff around the house. It may be a little awkward at the first. But this teaches self care and how to care and clean this item. Everyone masterbates. Its nice your willing to give them the correct tools instead of them using their electric toothbrush.
I never had a sex talk… so I thought so one day I asked my mom, why we never had a sex talk her response was yes we did, remember?
Apparently, the sex talk was us in the McDonald’s drive thru and my mom telling me, “before, you commit to to a guy, make sure he’s hung like a cucumber.”
That was my sex talk! I think I was 14!
I educated my 2 girls and 2 boys as soon as they were old enough to understand the concept . I wanted them to feel comfortable around me to talk about sex. I would even involve their friends. Their friends were comfortable talking and asking questions which helped my kids open up. I believe you should always be open to any subject your kids ask you about…even if it uncomfortable at first
You’re &%$#@&% crazy, vibrator, I think you need to use it so you can wake up. Girl, you will turn them into hoes. Get a grip
Too weird. Give them the sex talk. I didn’t have a violator til I was 19 and never ask my mom for help.
Kids know abt this stuff long b4 you think they do. I don’t think guidance is a bad thing at all. Just keep things simple with the sex topic. Let them know your there to talk or have any questions. That’s all ya can do … They’ll do that stuff when they’re ready.
I think it’s weird!!
So everyones all o they are to young for masterbating, toys will turn them into hoes blah blah blah.
But its honestly sad. Boys masterbate all the time. Its not even something people bat an eye at. Theres an entire movie franchise based off a teenage boy fucking a pie.
Go ahead have the sex talk, tell them its better to wait but needs are needs. Its going to be awkward but honestly there are kids in middle school having sex of some sort or another. They honestly probably already know about toys so the most awkward part would be you telling them that you’ll buy it since they cant.
Are you also going to show them how to use it?
That’s weird af. Not something I would even want my daughter’s to do or even be discussing sex toys with them. It’s to personal. If they came to you, then of course talk about it. But you are pushing them to be sexual.
What did I just read 
Why in the hell would you want to buy your teenage daughters those things? Like no! And why push them to explore their bodies and sex. I didn’t have sex until my 20’s and wasn’t interested in it. You’re just crazy let the girls discover and do things on their own time.
I think if you just talk openly with them your already doing more than your parents. Encouraging them to buy vibrators is too much. It will make them feel uncomfortable for sure, teenagers are inherently private already. The last thing any teenager wants if for there parent to encourage masterbation. They will come into there own at there own pace, I wouldn’t force anything they aren’t ready for. As far as the driving, I would take them to an empty parking lot somewhere and teach them how to drive. I would be more encouraging with the driving. Once they start practicing they will be more comfortable, and you can refuse to drive them places unless they start practicing driving and working toward getting there permits. Good luck mama
I think I’d they are under 16 then no, absolutely not but if they’re older then yea, I stole my first at 16. Would have been nicer to actually pick one out. Just be open and honest, if they want one cool, if not don’t push it.
So you’ll give them a gift card to buy a vibrator but wont have a sex talk with them?
How old are they?
Have they had periods do u talk to them about that?
You should have a sex talk with them so guys dont try to take advantage of them.
Your girls could write u a letter or write down questions then give it back to them if their shy or embarrassed.
Talk to them ask them what they prefer so they can be comfortable. Have you at least talk to them about protection?
I have so many more questions 
If my mom bought me a sex toy I’d probably be scared for life kids grow at different rates. They may be confused about their sexuality. Give it time. Don’t push it.
As far as driving if they aren’t ready please let it go. A girl I knew was pushed by her mom to drive. She had no interest. Was happy with riding the bus. She gave into her mom. First week after getting her liscence & driving alone she crashed. She’s fine physically but hurt the child in the other car. Not bad but enough to traumatise her & the child of course.
Why?why? I dont understand. Dont buy sh*t. If you think they are having sex. Talk to them. If there are not , let them know you are there when the time comes. So they will be comfortable telling you things and talking about it. Buying them toys to explore there self will only lead them into wanting the real thing. WE WANT TO STALL OUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER FROM HAVING INTERCOURSE FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. But a conversation about safe sex and condoms would be a good idea
Excuse me my good bitch, but what seems to be the fuck?
But no really, I kinda view this as the same as dad’s giving their sons vaseline and tissue tbh
I wouldn’t do the whole vibrator part. However, sex talk is definitely good. Mention that there are toys out there for discovering themselves but I wouldn’t go into detail unless they ask.
Sexual health should for sure be a more open conversation!
I’m very open with my older teens, but I’m not buying them sex toys or giving them gift cards with those items in mind. What they do with their gift card is their business Always will be!
I’m extremely open with my daughter this however is so so so weird 
I’m erm. Wtf? How old r these teens?
Kids need a safe environment to talk about sex, they need privacy and to know about hygiene when it comes to that stuff.
They don’t need sex toys. You can maybe talk to them about it but bloody hell.
Erm yea not sure wtf to say
Eewww. What’s wrong about talking about love instead?
Talk to them about that sort of thing as an option, and let them know they can come to you when and if they find themselves curious or interested, but I don’t think there’s any need to get that stuff for them. Also, if you desensitize that area too early, they’re gonna be dependent on something like that forever, and it makes their partner’s job impossible without using one down the line. Maybe have them wait until after giving birth when nothing down there works right anymore anyway. lol
You need to have the conversation with them. Tbh. They probably know a lot already because they have friends that probably have these conversations with their parents. For goodness sake. TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTERS.