I am not hiding anything but I dont want anyone in my phone but that’s just me. Its a privacy thing for me I am not hiding anything.
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A marriage is based on trust, if you didn’t trust him to begin with you should of never married him. I would say you need to work on your trust issue first before you get involved with anyone.
Red flags to me… id give my partner my phone anytime for him to look through and vice versa. But non of us feel the need to search each others phones…when u have that need then there’s no trust. Gi with your gut xx
my husband and i do not do this with each other…we both find it is an invasion of privacy…plus we have no reason to go into each other’s phones…leave the guy alone…and stop comparing him to your exes…
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Definitely hiding something
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Change your code and don’t let him touch your’s. He should be understanding of your trust issues. When I told my guy about my trust issues he set his code the same as mine
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Trust your instincts but if you’re insecure don’t let it ruin a good thing I almost did that with this marriage. I’ve been cheated on before too but I wouldn’t treat my husband like I did my ex because he hasn’t given me a reason. We both have access to each other’s phone but never go through it because we trust each other.
All these people saying “he’s hiding something” you….don’t…know…that. You can’t possibly know that. Please do not add to this woman’s difficulties or stress. My concern would lie more in IF she’s mentioned these issues to her husband, and whether or not he is understanding about it. He may very well just like his privacy, but if lack of access to his phone is a dealbreaker, and he’s not willing to at least be understanding of that, then that is worth consideration.
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He is obviously hiding something. I’m able to use my husbands phone whenever I please and same with him with my phone
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If he has a lock on the phone or he never puts it down or if he sleeps with his phone or doesn’t let u see it he is cheating I have trust issues also I was with my ex about 10 years he cheated several times not sexual contact but hiding messages phone calls and pictures from Me then I didn’t care anymore I start doing the same thing as he did then he cheated on me with a girl at his work then got her pregnant that was end of it for me I thought for sure I will never love again that all men are dogs I was wrong as of right now I been someone else after I left him been together for a year he doesn’t have no password on his phone he leaves his phone anywhere in the house he said whenever u feel the need u can look thru my phone I have nothing to hide he doesn’t play well then u don’t trust me enough he doesn’t tell me that he tells me to thru his phone and he shows me the messages between him and his baby mama whenever she messages him he knows I was broken took alot to come back up u know when a man is cheating when u think that need to get away never gotta change and it’s not u they blame u for the reason why they cheated or whatever else they will come up with so many excuses to turn it around on u so guys are not faithful u will know when u find someone u truly love them u truly trust them they don’t give u a reason to think they are cheating
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If you really trust him it should be a non issue.
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Why do you need to see it!? Is there no trust in your relationship, I never look at my husbands phone and he doesn’t mess with mine, but we trust each other as well, if there is no trust you will probably lose him quick! He is not your ex!
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I can’t touch my fiancees phone either. But he doesn’t touch mine either. I guess I could get it while he sleeps and go through it, but I don’t see a point.
If this is y’alls only problem, I’d suggest telling him to leave yours alone and if he doesn’t care, just ignore it
If he has a problem with not being able to use yours, even though you can’t use his, then that’s a problem.
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Some people don’t like others messing with their stuff. Simple as that.
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Red flag!! Should have been passed that before you got married. Some men thing they will get a pass on cheating. I would not be with someone who’s phone isn’t a open book. My husband & I have always been free to look at each other’s phone. Sounds like your hubby doesn’t want you to know who he talks to. Red flags everywhere!!!
If he doesn’tet you see his phone have passwords etc then he isnt being faithful. Sorry but he obviously is hiding something (someone)
Please don’t listen to everyone saying there is something going on because they want a chance to brag about their own relationships. It is very likely that there is nothing to worry about and he is just adamant about his privacy. I would suggest you sit down and really talk to him about how all of this makes you feel. Don’t attack or be accusatory, acknowledge that you know this could be seen as irrational but to consider what you’ve been through. I would also look into some personal counseling or therapy to deal with your trust problems and fear of betrayal. You got this!
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My boyfriend is kind of like this too, but I know he isn’t doing anything wrong and I trust him, therefore it doesn’t bother me. With that being said, I’d say to either trust him or communicate that it is an issue for you.
If he were to cheat, he could just delete everything and eventually the truth would come out anyways.
I’d say just to trust him especially since you even said he hasn’t given you a reason not to!
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I’m sorry but I agree with him I would never go on my hubby’s phone .u have to learn to trust him .I wouldnt like my hubby going on my phone it’s personal thing .I would feel like he’s snooping on me I have nothing to hide.ive beenn married 3 times .been married ,30 yrs. We have no reason too look on each others phones .
10 years we’ve been together I have never and would never think about looking at my partners phone. It’s there if I wanted to go through it but I trust him and vice versa so there is no need. If your husband carries it everywhere with him like into the bathroom, under his pillow, won’t leave it out his sight and gets defensive if you ask to borrow it then there’s something suspect but he’s not necessarily cheating.
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I feel like y’all need to have a conversation about it, how he reacts and his body language will tell you what you need to know.
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If he respected you he’d know it’s not about him.
Hes hiding something . For sure.
Do him likes he’s doing you. Change your password & don’t let him have it. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
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It goes like this. I would rather not have to answer a million questions about whos who and why did i say that to this person. Nesting and jealousy go hand in hand. You’ll be sleeping and they will go through your phone and you wake up bleary eyed to anger over something you texted to someone else three years before you met your S/O. None of their business but they have an opinion about it.
Wanting privacy is ok.
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Seriously do you have a brain?? After the first time you should of learnt 
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I don’t want anyone in my personal stuff either. You want to make sure he isn’t cheating then fuck the life out him everyday so he don’t have the energy to do anyone else.
If you can’t look at his phone whenever you want, then f that guy. My husband has 100% access to my phone and I his. If there isn’t anything to hide, then why the hell not? 
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Honestly why get Married 3 times the trust issues are all on you should of learnt after the first failed marriage
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Something going on sounds like to me… you could lock yours too and make it known he won’t be touching it anymore. If its ok for him to have his stuff private then it is you too.
My fiancé has all access to my phone at all points in time, his finger print is linked to it 
Put a lock on your phone and do the same thing back and see how he reacts. Then explain to him thats how he made you feel.
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If you don’t want to " snoop" then what other reason would you want to see it ?
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I wouldn’t let anyone in my phone and I have nothing to hide. But I would absolutely feel like my privacy was violated if my partner felt like he could go through my phone and read my text messages with my friends. Sometimes I vent to my friends even my mother. Those conversations are private. Personal space is an absolute necessity in relationships. My phone is an extension of myself. I can’t imagine someone feeling like they should have the right to just go through my things.
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You could make a scarf out of this red flag
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Boundaries people. Everyone is entitled to privacy. I can get in husband’s phone but I have never looked at it. It’s not my business. He doesn’t look at mine. I trust him. He trust me. I have been cheated on and divorced because of it. Stop projecting issues on good men because you have trust issues. Get therapy and work through you personal issues.
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red flag 
my fiance and i even switch phones sometimes if one of us has to go somewhere and their respective phone is dying… there’s obviously something he doesn’t want you to see. gaslighting you to make you think youre paranoid. if no one else, trust YOURSELF
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Trust me if you have a feeling something is off go with it. I would have been married 27yrs tomorrow and I just had a feeling. So I checked his phone when he was in the ER and found not one, not two but 3 different people he was having inappropriate conversations with which one was texting him with me right in the room. Confronted him and he couldn’t deny it. Left his ass at the hospital. That was 2 months ago. Oh and the cherry on top…one conversation was with a dude so he came out bisexual. Check it
You trust him or you don’t. If you really trust him ease up on the idea and let it go. He might be feeling like you’re portraying those feelings from past relationships onto him. Ease up and see if it makes a difference.
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You can’t have a relationship without trust.
Maybe he is aggravated that you treat him with suspicion. He shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of your first 2 husbands.
That being said, if he’s aware of your first two marriages and why they failed, he should be sensitive to your feelings in this area, and should be willing to prove you have nothing to worry about.
The bottom line is that you either trust him or you don’t. If you act like you don’t trust him, it will create problems. If you don’t trust him, you shouldn’t be in a marriage with him. If you DO trust him, then you don’t need to worry about his phone.
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He’s right. He has a right to privacy. You don’t have a right to invade his space just because you’re insecure. Go get help before you ruin your marriage
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If you are on the same account you can somehow forward his message to your phone
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My husband is like this. I have to get over it. I know he still talks to his ex and it drives me nuts. But I can’t tell him not to do it. His excuse is because he had an ex calling all the chicks on his phones and accusing his cousins of having sexual relations with him. Ims smarter than that. I at least investigate these women. I did go in his phone once it’s how I know he was talking regularly, meaning everyday with his ex. He won’t let me see it now. I told him if she’s so special to him to leave me and be with her since it’s obvious at the time she was more important to him than me. He won’t even speak her name. He lies a lot about her and lately won’t even talk about her. I brought her up again and he gets mad saying he hasn’t talked to her in months. I told him I don’t like hidden relationships, he claims it isn’t. But it is. She blocked me on Facebook. So I can’t just message her her side. But I outright hate her now. And he knows it.
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U have every right to go in his phone whats he hiding smh
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He’s hiding something
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In my opinion every couple should have full access to each others phones. Trust factor, nothing to hide type shit. But you should never feel the need to go through each other’s phones my husband and I know each other’s passwords and hand our phones to show things all the time, no problem. Tik tok videos, something funny ya know, normal stuff. No ones snooping though, because we don’t ever feel the need to and we trust each other. When you’re not offered that to begin with it makes you wonder why. I get it.
You can’t have a relationship without trust. If it’s a big deal and you brought it up to him, ask say let me see why I can’t see your phone? Lol I’d make sure I can get in it then just to see if I was that curious. But I’m not. My phone is my business, not my boyfriends or anyone else’s.I don’t go into my bfs phone because I do trust him.He gives me every reason to, and he should trust me because he’s never been in mine either.
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Yeah I stopped trusting my ex after I caught him cheating and then he locked me out of his phone.
Wow very insecure 
is what this spells out . Just cause your married . You still have a right to privacy. If you honestly feel like you can’t trust him . And that he is cheating. Than maybe you should rethink your marriage. Because without trust . There’s nothing. And insecurities is a sure fire way to ruin your marriage. So maybe seek help for that .
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He is 100% in the right to not want you touching his phone. That’s HIS, he deserves privacy just like any other human in this world. Your trust issues are your own, stop looking for what’s not there.
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Your insecurities are ruining your relationship
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Heal from your past relationships in order to trust and to be loved by the loving man who married you 
I’m sorry but I will not be in a relationship where we check each others phones. It’s childish af. If you don’t trust him don’t be with him! & 9/10 if he’s adamant about you not touching it, it’s something in there. Gotta get in there while he’s sleep babe!! 
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Just because you’re married doesn’t mean he’s not entitled to his privacy.
Change your password on your phone then quit asking for his…build trust or go your own way.
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Neither of us have locks on our phones and that right there makes me feel secure enough I don’t mess with his phone but if I do all for it he hands it right over. We give each other privacy without the need for locks.
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From my experience - there is something to hide. Otherwise there would be no issue.
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People say respect boundaries and privacy ect i find my relationship of 10years working great because we are 100% an open book i rarely do but if i wanted to go through his phone i could and vice versa, whats his his mine and what is mine is his we never fight about trust, money nothing.
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Heck no! He’s definitely trying to hide something
Me and my husband both have access to each other’s phones (we don’t go through each other’s) but we know the passcodes and stuff just in case I need to make a phone call and I can’t find mine or vice versa
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No advice. Just wanted to say you’re brave to get married for a 3rd time after being cheated on in your first 2 marriages.
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I just typed out a long reply about the situation with my ex… then deleted it to give you the shorter version.
If a man has nothing to hide, he will hide nothing.
Trust your gut and if he wants to keep you in his life, he will do anything to make you happy.
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I don’t understand The need for women to go through their partners phone. You either trust him or you don’t. If you have to go through his phone on a daily basis then just do yourself a favor and end the relationship. If I had to go through my husbands phone because I feel like he was up to something then I wouldn’t be with him. I wouldn’t waste his or my time. A relationship without trust is not a relationship at all.
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My ex constantly cheated and even got a girl pregnant with twins so I had major trust issues and snooped through his phone. That obviously ended in divorce. However, I didn’t bring those insecurities and baggage into my marriage now. I have no interest in looking through my husband’s phone because I trust him completely.
In my marriage, we have access to each other’s phones. No we don’t go snooping, but we don’t freak out if we touch each other’s phones. For example, there’s a game he loves that doesn’t work on his phone, so I let him put it on mine. He has our banking app on his phone, and I use it to pay our bills, and check his messages certain dates to make sure our debit orders were deducted without problems. Also, if my phone is closer to him and a message comes through, I’ll ask him to check who it is. If he’s not close and I see a missed call or message, I just tell him to check his phone. So to me, this is major red flags. Why the freaking out at you touching his phone? Doesn’t make sense. You can have access to each other’s phones, but still respect privacy. Because I can vouch for the fact, if your partner shows that they don’t care if you are on their phones, you won’t want to know what’s on there. I can grab my husband’s phone any time to snoop, but I don’t because his behaviour shows me I won’t find anything. My opinion people.
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I’m a private person. I don’t let anyone touch my phone. It’s about boundaries to me. If he’s always been like this, it’s just the way he is.
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I understand completely where your coming from I’m going through the same thing!!! But im at the point of not caring about it or a relationship at all and just preparing myself to walk away!!! If he didn’t have anything to hide then why not let you see it to put your mind at ease!!! Its simple he’s cheating!!! People can claim all they want that they don’t care until its happening to them repeatedly…I’ve stopped bickering and complaining and now walking away
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Can he pee alone? Drive himself to work? Send an email without approval? Choose his own friends. The phone isn’t the issue. Having access to the phone won’t prevent or prove he is cheating.
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Sadly , it sounds like history is repeating itself! Why is he secretive ?
When you’re married, over time you start to lose the sense that you’re your own person. I’m like your husband. I have nothing to hide, at all, however my phone is all that I have that’s mine. I tend to disassociate and use my phone to take my mind off of things to give myself a break. I also discuss things with my best friend (mental health things, things that are hard about being a mom etc) that I just don’t want anyone else to read. Not that it’s information that’s secretive but a man will not understand those frustrations, and he typically tends to think mental illness is a “myth” 
so it’s my safe place to vent, have someone to talk to, and it allows my conversations to be private. You don’t have to always share things with your spouse. You seem to have a lot of unhealed trauma that you should seek therapy for, otherwise you’ll be working on your 3rd divorce. Men also do not break things down and nitpick them like women do. It would be different if he was sneaking and taking phone calls, leaving the phone face down and never touching it when you’re around, those are red flags. You’re creating issues that just aren’t there.
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If you have to check his phone why did you marry him.
Believe me what’s in the dark always come to light. You may ruin a good marriage/ man because of your insecurities… why did you even marry him… especially if you still have trust issues… don’t chase a good man into another women’s arms because of your lack of confidence and insecurities
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There shouldn’t be no passwords, no passcodes. You should be his priority. In a marriage you give your best to your partner, you don’t give them leftovers. Your partner will do anything to make you happy. My boyfriend and I know each others passwords from each others cell phone. Him and I we don’t always check each others cell phone. If your husnamd has nothing to hide then there shouldn’t be a reason for you not to know his password it is a security thing.
I have a password on my phone, but he knows it and never changes. I have one because I have grandkids who like to download things on my phone that lock it up or make it run slower. That i hate…lol If I don’t trust him after my 24 yrs, he’s out the door. I’m not here to babysit, not playing high school games, if that’s where he’s at…bye bye Felicia!
That’s his only thing that is his and his alone. I am a married woman, and I do not want my husband going thru my purse or phone. I have absolutely nothing to hide! I have no desire to go thru his wallet or phone. Even though married, people need there space.
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I don’t go through my partners phone but I know his password and my face is saved to his phone. If he didn’t have anything to hide he wouldn’t be doing that and saying those things.
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I don’t look in my husband phone we’ve been together 31 years married almost 10
I trust him he trusts me if an emergency happened then yes otherwise no you will make him feel like you don’t trust him
I can look in my husband’s phone and vice versa
We respect each others privacy
Why do you want access to his phone? Has he given any inkling that he’s doing something?
If she insecure, maybe its due to him being so shady with his phone. I’m sorry, but if Im letting your dick in my vagina… privacy is kinda not a thing! Privacy is for people that have something to hide. If you ain’t ashamed of it, if there’s nothing wrong with what your doing… why do you need to keep it secret and be shady about it?!
Your trust issues are yours and his phone is his. You will ruin your marriage with this if you don’t deal with it and let it go. Life is too short.
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Mine plays on mine and vise versa. Trust is an important thing.
He’s probably cheating if he literally won’t let you touch his phone
Don’t place blame from your ex husbands’ mistakes on your husband now. That’s the fastest way to ruin a marriage.
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U don’t need to know what in his phone but my wife has my password 
an can answer an call I get sooo…
All these women, ‘i don’t snoop on his phone I trust him’
So did we until we found out he’d been lying. Go through their phones I dare you, you’ll find something you don’t like I can bet money on it!
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Not wanting you to look at his phone is one thing. I wouldn’t be worried if it was just that, everyone’s entitled to privacy and unless he’s given you a reason to doubt him, I get that.
BUT, it’s the fact that he’s SO adamant that you don’t touch it that raises concern. Most are not so dead set about it if there’s nothing to hide.
We don’t always FULLY heal before getting into new relationships. To fully heal takes years and years and years in some cases. For a lot of people there will always be some insecurities. From my experience, I’ve learned that when you have a good man that you don’t have doubts with but will ease your mind when you do, those insecurities don’t stick around long. Ive never been in a relationship without being cheated on until my husband. From day one, knowing this about me, he’s told me that any time I want to look at his phone or anything like that to just go ahead and do it. And that alone made me feel like I didn’t need to. So I don’t. If his phone rings or he gets a text, he’s the guy that says “can you check that for me?” when I’m closer to his phone than he is.
Insecurities are normal after the kinds of relationships you’ve been in, don’t let people tell you that you can’t have a healthy relationship until you get rid of them. It’s how you handle them: You just have to be aware and in control of those insecurities and make sure you are not punishing someone for things they didn’t know. Don’t accuse him of things your ex did. Sometimes certain things happening in your current relationship that are totally innocent will remind you of something from your past relationship that was not totally innocent and you can’t always just shake it off. If I’m having a moment, I just tell my husband, “I know this is probably stupid but I just feel like this is off right now.” And whatever it is, he will explain to me or in some cases show me and that’s that. I thank him and apologize and he just understands. Communicate and share your experiences. But having doubts is going to happen. You were in 2 very long marriages that ended with you being betrayed. Those are traumatic experiences.
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Maybe he’s not used to being with anyone who’s ever asked… maybe he trust u enough and thinks u should to
Why do u want to touch his phone?
You attract narcissistic personalities, me too. If you can’t touch his phone tell him your leaving, would you let him look at your phone though??
I think that maybe ur insecurities are bleeding over into this relationship and maybe u should tell him about it…communicating is key to a strong relationship
I would tell him your phone is off limits to him also when he wants to use yours. See what his reaction is. Then remind him you aren’t allowed to use his and see what he says. Then decide what you want to do about it.
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I don’t want another relationship where going through their phone or them going through mine is even an option. Because already you’ve got trust issues if that’s on your mind. BUT having said that, take away access to yours and see how he acts. Why are you gonna be so open if he’s not reciprocating? Just saying.
He probably just has weird search history.
At minimum you should know your partners code to his phone. Girl his cheating.
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Seems like you kept jumping relationship to relationship without taking the time to heal yourself, what happened in your last marriages is not his fault, if your exes cheated ,it isn’t his fault and you clearly have trust issues if he haven’t even give you a reason to not trust him… that is his phone and just because yall are married does not mean he cannot have personal things etc… he is not your property
Your trust issues might ruin this marriage so either go to counseling since you already are married or just dont waste his time and break up with him so he can find someone who trust him… a relationship is all about love and trust and like I said it seems like you didn’t take your time to go to counseling or time to heal yourself…
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Cheating.
If he really cares he would know that you’ve been hurt multiples times, and he should let you have the reassurance that you need to build trust.
A true partner would want to give their partner comfort in that sort of situation…
And I get it…You don’t want access to snoop. It’s just the point!!! what if you’re together somewhere, and your phone is dead. You ask to use his phone to call and check on a family member…or pay a bill you forgot about…anything of the sort. And he won’t let you touch it…
No ma’am I’ve been through this…if he won’t let me use his phone, he cannot use mine.
And if he throws a fit about it he’s insecure, not trust worthy, and a pos.
I’m personally sick of men thinking they can literally do WHATEVER to a woman…
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I hate my husband touching my phone. He messes everything up, deletes apps, ruins my games lol I’m not dishonest and if it were an issue he could absolutely have my phone. I’m addicted to my phone I’ll admit but he’s never really wanted to see it either. I feel like you’re treating him a certain way because of you, not him.
I’d be suspicious for sure.
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I don’t like to be Compared to somebody else’s ex. It didn’t work for a reason. If you don’t have trust you have nothing. I trust my current boyfriend completely and don’t worry about what’s on his phone until I’m given a reason to. You need to be able to trust each other and have a healthy relationship each other. But there’s also a sense of privacy and not making the other person feel as if they are doing something especiallyif they aren’t.
If we are in a relationship, then you have the pin to my phone AND my laptop.
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Facebook really isn’t a place for relationship advice because you’ll just get all the negatives… This is why there is so much divorce…Noone truly works and gives it there all… none else can fix this but u and your husband…we only know 1 side of this story so noone should judge how they think he’s being…Maybe he’s just not aware that it bothers you this much.
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One key point to observe is this: does his phone go everywhere with him? Would he leave it out to shower, ect. If not, he is hiding something.