You say he’s never given you a reason not to trust him… not having access to his phone is a huge reason not to trust him.
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Phones between partners should be respected. If there is no trust issues, then there should be no reason to go through my husband’s phone.
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What is the reason you want to touch his phone if you aren’t looking to snoop? I don’t touch or even have an urge to look at my husbands. When you got remarried you needed to have a fresh slate. It’s not going to work if you are living in the past and can’t trust. You need to trust him or the relationship will more than likely be ruined because you are in your head thinking the worst. Especially if you have no reason to even suspect him being shady. Now if your phone died or something along those lines and you asked him to use his and he said no then I’d be like what’s the deal?
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He isn’t your ex and you shouldn’t be snooping especially when he hasnt given you any reason to if your marriage carries on like this I can’t see it lasting maybe seek counciling for your past relationships
My boyfriend and I have been together 5+ years and our phones have never been a secret but you don’t just go on somebody else’s phone because you can, you know? We have the same passcode, I could access it anytime I want but I wouldn’t want him using mine so i don’t use his. Wanting your privacy doesn’t mean you have anything to hide, it’s just your right to have your own personal “space”.
If you want access to it because you want to keep tabs on him that’s unhealthy and ultimately could be something that destroys your relationship. It’s not a good feeling to feel as though you are doing something wrong when you aren’t … I think we can all relate to that.
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You can’t have a healthy relationship without trust, respect to privacy and boundaries.
I felt with this with my EX husband keyword EX
I have a problem with some thing similar where my partner hasn’t necessarily given me a reason not to trust them, however gets extremely instantly defensive if I even glance at the phone or even try and look at the time anything.
Both me and my hubby knows eachother’s password to both phones. If he doesn’t let u touch his then don’t let him touch yours,
I also have trust issues.
It sucks being cheated on.
Talk to your husband and tell him how u feel about it.
Everyone needs some privacy!!
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Change the password on your phone and treat him the same way he treats you… see if he likes it
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Stop projecting your past relationships onto him
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He’s cheating sorry to bust ur bubble
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I feel like in this world if I can’t see your phone and you mine without issue then there is no relationship 
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I wouldn’t have even fallen into the marriage trap a third time
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Sorry ur going thru this. From personal experience I’d say hes cheating. Sorry to say. With my ex he used to never care if I saw his phone. Then suddenly he didnt want me touching it. Lo and behold the truth came out. With my current. He dont care if I mess with his phone idc if he messes with mine.
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If you’re trying to get access to his phone, the relationship is over. You’re just looking for an excuse to end it. Find another reason.
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I have trust issues to with my hubby. He was caught texting, and getting pictures from women in the past. He left me for 1 of those women last year. Yes I did take him back after he swore he would not ever do that again. I trusted that he wouldn’t lie to me up until Saturday. I seen his phone beep, and on the screen was a woman’s name. So I opened it, and well he has been buying nudes from this woman, and talking to 2 others. I guess in my situation… I have good reason not to trust him anymore. I haven’t told him that I know, but I am pretty sure he knows that I do. I hate that the man I love can’t even keep his word. Good luck,I hope he isn’t hiding a secret like mine did.
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The post is ridiculous. Stop comparing your current relationship with your past relationships. That’s ignorant. Don’t punish him because you’re insecure.
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If it looks and walks like a duck it probably is a duck. Trust is a two way deal. If there is nothing going on then why the defensivness and secrets?? Privacy is important but not more than truth.
My husband and I can get into each other’s phones anytime with no questions asked. If he won’t let you in his phone, then don’t let him in yours. You shouldn’t have to be an open book if he’s not. I also don’t get this privacy thing between a husband and a wife. My husband is my best friend. 
I don’t have any secrets and don’t want any either. If he was snatching his phone away anytime I got near it, I’d find that suspicious too.
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I don’t know I have always had full access to my husband phone we have no secrets there he can get on my phone anytime too
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My fiancè and I don’t have anything to hide. We both know each other’s passwords to our phones and other things. If someone has an issue with you using their phone for anything and any reason… that’s a huge red flag for me and frig that… I will NEVER do that crap again! The abusive and cheating asses are the ones that try to turn everything around on you. I’m not doing anything wrong, but no you can’t see. Screw that! Honest people would say, I have nothing to hide and here’s my password! Don’t like it… See ya later!
If mine didn’t let me on his phone u know something is up f that
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If he is that bad and won’t let you see it well trust issues or not he has something to hide. He may not be cheating but there is definitely things he never wants you to see.
It is weird he feels comfortable using yours but he isn’t comfortable with you using his.
It’s natural to feel weird when he had different rules for you than he has for himself.
Doesn’t mean he’s cheating. But it’s worth talking about
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Are men allowed in this group?
As soon as she cheats she’ll never trust you again. 
Hes hiding something, not necessarily cheating. Which i wouldn’t be ok with and I’d make a big deal of it. Treat him like he treats you. But thats just me
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Always a funny one this. I’m all for privacy. I’m also all for transparency in a relationship.
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Everyone is like change your password give him a taste of his own medicine. He probably wouldn’t even notice. He likely hasn’t even felt the need to go in her phone. She said he has access at anytime not that he has ever done it. Not every man cheats. For all we know this guy could be frustrated that he keeps getting compared to the first two.
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What you don’t know don’t hurt 🤷 in some cases
That’s sketchy as hell
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It depends on the relationship… I wouldn’t have any issues sharing my phone but at the same time I expect trust?
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My husband can get in my phone and I can get into my husband’s phone. But we haven’t understanding. We have to have trust. We don’t just pick up each other’s phone and look at it for no reason. We literally don’t even pick it up really for any reason other than to hand it to each other or show each other something. And we don’t start snooping at that point. If there’s no trust there’s no relationship. You need to get past your trust issues. My husband was married twice before me. Both of those women cheated on him. I’ve been in several relationships and being cheated on. My children’s father, was extremely controlling and would take my phone in the bathroom and lock himself in there and call people that he didn’t know that called me. I have a complex with someone looking through my phone it doesn’t mean I’m hiding something. It just triggers something in me. So my husband and I had to get through our trust issues. Get through it or get out of the relationship. If you really think he’s hiding something you need to talk to him about it.
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We need to find out why you keep attracting the same type of man that’s 1st of all!!! 2nd this is all I see and obviously he has something to hide. Trust YOUR GUT PLEASE so you don’t waste more years like your other marriages.
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There’s literally only one reason you wouldn’t let someone go on your phone and as a partner you should be able to.
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So watch him unlock it since he’s saying that he assumes you do anyway and then unlock it and look at it if that’s what your heart desires🤷🏽♀️
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If he won’t let you touch his phone or use it, there is 100% something on his phone he doesn’t want you to see.
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It’s a generational curse
That is why it feels as though the cheating husband situation follows u
It’s breaking the curse of infidelity from the ancestors, four fathers, self and of ur children so that u can live in peace. I would pray to break the anxiety as well. Follow pastor mike Signorelli on you tube and fb on how to break free from generational curses.
Meanwhile I’m sure he’s hiding something. To ease ur mind he could just give u his phone or password just as u do for him. I know my husband’s password and it’s my fingerprint that opens his phone. He knows my password. If he gave me any kind of hesitancy I would feel as u do, regardless of ur pasts relationships with ur ex’s. The fact that he is not comforting u and reassuring u is questionable on how solid your communication abs emotional support is.
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Lock up your phone and don’t allow him access
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Gotta heal woman!! While you’re working on healing, access the online account for your mobile devices and you will be able to see who he calls and texts etc contents of messages aren’t available but if he’s cheating you’ll know by call records
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If you have trust issues, they’re your issues.
Don’t make him jump through hoops to prove himself. If he’s always been this way, why are worried now? If you don’t trust him, why are you married?
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Bessie Dennis I hate it here
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Do the same to him.
Chill out… if they are going g to cheat they will… u get into his phone … he will go buy another one… they always find a way…
Surely if he married u he must understand u may have issues… it wouldn’t hurt him to reassure u a bit and he must realise that being like that would make anyone suspicious…
Definitely stop letting him have ur phone…
Gd luck
There’s seeds of doubt you need to discuss with your husband and not on a public social media site
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This sends off red flags for me. My husband is 100% allowed into my phone, fb, etc. he doesn’t ask to see it, because we trust each other 100%, he just knows he can take my phone at any time to use it if he needs it (he doesn’t have a phone because we can’t afford it, and most of his friends chat with him thru discord, but he’s always allowed to use mine.)
When he had a phone too I was also allowed access as well. We will check each other’s emails for each other if the other can’t at the moment (like when I’m busy with my son and I get an important email from my doctors or my sons teacher etc, or when he’s busy in a gaming session with his friends and wants to know when his packages have shipped etc.)
In a healthy relationship, you should be allowed access to each other’s phones, unless the unwilling partner has something to hide. I would say confront him (but gently) and tell him how you feel. If he reacts poorly, most likely he’s hiding something imho.
Your situation is very odd. In my house, we do not share our phones. My daughter went to college and her roommates read her text and listened to her voicemail. She felt very violated She and I really kid around when we text each other so the text were very private to us. We don’t share phones! Those friends were so wrong!
I feel very strongly that phones are private
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Urgh I have no idea how to get on my chaps phone. But I never felt the bloody need to, I have been cheated on many times but there are way more signals than just locking his phone! He is probably pissed that he’s never given u reason to doubt him yet treat him like he is the same lying scum bag as ur previous partners. So either there’s more to this or you are just letting ur past dictate your future and you are self sabotaging your first relationship with a decent bloke. 
I mean, my partner and I used/shared the phone and he was still using it to cheat. I’m a naive moron. Either way, red flags.
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Umm it should not matter, if my phone is dead I can grab my husbands no problem and use it! Same as him, I understand some people are weird bout their phones but if he had nothing to hide then he would allow you access.
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Honestly at this point no one should be giving advice. She says he’s adamant about her not touching his phone. Is she reading more into is reaction then he means there to be? We don’t know that. He may have said no once and maybe she’s taking that as he’s hiding something. There’s always 2 sides to every story. And if you’ve been cheated on before then the response may be taken wrong. Maybe discuss your feelings with him. If he truly won’t have the conversation or show the phone maybe it’s time to move on. But it’s a discussion that needs to take place between the two of them. Facebook is honestly full of people getting people worked up without the full story. After 3 years , why the sudden need to see his phone?
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If he has nothing to hide then you should be able to use his phone. I guarantee there’s something he doesn’t want you to see.
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I don’t know how old you are…but I’m 54, and believe me when I say If he’s not already cheating, he will!! There is only one reason that you wouldn’t want anyone to look at your phone!!
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I want to freely be able to pick up the other’s phone and use it to say order a pizza. It’s a problem for me if they aren’t a bit of community use or pick it up to look up a phone number for him as he’s filling out a form or whatever. Or if the kids can’t play his phone during some horrible waiting situation. Red flag for me.
He is an ass but u already know that. Fair is fair. Change ur password or use ur thumb print. It will take him a few but when he catches on he can’t access ur phone, it will get to him. My husband did the same thing. Seems he isn’t found of not knowing my business. Good luck. Hope things improve
It’s a you problem, not a him problem.
Tbh I’d lock mine down and be just as sus then confront him when he obviously takes issue with it.
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Dr. Phil says “Those who have nothing to hide - hide nothing”
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Emma Hansen how do you do that, if u dont mind me asking ?
A woman is not supposed to check a mans phone unless you want to cut weight.
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Me and my wife can get in each other’s anytime nothing to hide from each other
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He’s hiding something. I’ve already been through that same situation and he was cheating all along. I found naked pics of women and naked pics of him that he was sending to them. Tell him if doesn’t let you see it, then you will just assume he’s cheating. People don’t act like that unless they have something to hide, period.
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You have trust issues and maybe your husband wants his privacy. There are things you might don’t want to share. The best option is to to talk about it. Communicate, don’t complicate.
It’s suspicious.
Husband and I have the same unlock password and have had full access to each other’s phones since we started dating. We use one another’s phones if it’s closer. It’s never even been an issue in the slightest.
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He’s hiding something. Not necessarily cheating or flirting but there’s something he’s hiding.
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You change your phone password, and tell him he won’t get it unless he tells his…simple!
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Well if thats not a HUGE red flag i dont know what is!
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Maybe he is into porn and watches it on his phone. And doesn’t want to be embarrassed if you try to google something and you see it.
Most guys watch that shit and I guess it’s as relaxing for them as it is for us to watch DIY videos…lol
I don’t mess w hubby’s phone mostly lol bit do have access to it if I needed to snoop anyway 
some of it obviously comes from hubby #1 &2 but your hubby already knows this so should be willing to ease your mind in my opinion . If a fight insues u probably have a bigger issue gl hope all works out 
So if you can’t see his phone why do you let him see yours
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I left my husband with my phone once. He tried to look at pics he knew were there. Ended up locked out my phone for 12 hours 
. Dared him to ever touch it again .
Maybe he feels you dont trust him because you’ve been cheated on before and have carried that through to this relationship. Maybe that distrust hurts him
Or…maybe he’s a cheating ass 
Communication is key in any relationship…tell him how you feel and ask him whats going on
Don’t give him access to your phone. See how he reacts/likes it….
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I don’t go through my boyfriend’s phone and he doesn’t go through mine! Neither of us have passwords on our phones and we don’t hide anything! We trust each other! The reason we don’t have passwords, is because my ex had a password on his phone, only after he started cheating on me! I requested when my boyfriend and I got together (almost 8 years ago) that neither of us have a password on our phones! I don’t need to go through his phone because I trust him, but it gives me a sense of security, that he respects my wishes! I was with my ex for 7 years (On and off) it was a horrible relationship! Now, I have a wonderful man, that I feel safe with and trust! We are basically best friends! I love that about us!
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Girl….you better definitely snoop now. Something ain’t right.
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2 can play that game, start doin the same thing he is, I bet his reaction gonna change quick…not cheating but not letting him touch ur phone
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Hubby and i both leave are phones unlocked and laying around!
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I hate to break it to you babe, but he’s cheating. Been there…
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I went through this. My now partner will literally hand me his phone if I start to get anxious because he knows the trauma being cheated on by my exhusband had on me and while it’s not his responsibility to make up for that or fix that… his belief is that if he can lessen that pain for me and show me I can trust him why in the hell not? He knows its not from him and that he has nothing to hide.
The only times he actively says not to is when he is planning a surprise and even then, if I have been triggered by something he would still hand it to me.
Its his way of saying " I’m going to show you that you are safe, whatever that means".
Basically means I don’t ever have to.
At the same time, It will honestly likely be a principle thing to him of being hurt that you need to check when he hasn’t been the one to hurt you.
He needs to take a step back from proving his point, and make you feeling reassured a priority. When you marry someone you marry all of them. He knows your past. Its not a big sacrifice and it won’t be necessary once you see that he’s willing.
The other side to that is you need to realise that having trauma doesn’t entitle you to him having to do these things. He isn’t to blame for their behaviour.
And if he chooses to change his perspective it is out of love not obligation
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Open phone or get the hell out, he’s definitely hiding something and u know what it is, 3 marriages with 3 cheating, honey u r not bringing something to the table, stay unmarried and just keep relationships casual
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If u have nothing to hide, u hide nothing
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Go to therapy. You have insecurity issues that you have not healed and thats why your relationships are failing. You are not entitled to look at other people’s phones. By being adamant about this, you are invading his privacy and that’s probably why he doesn’t want you to see it. I would deny you too. It’s toxic to feel the need to snoop.
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You can go get text records from phone company.
My hubby n i leave our phones unlocked. So there is not a problem. He can get on mine whenever he wants and same with his. Solves trust issues.
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RED FLAGS everywhere here!
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What helps me is… Find a moment when you are both relaxed and calm together to bring up the conversation about your phone situation. Speak truly on how you feel and hopefully he will tell you what you need to hear. hugs!!
I’ve been in that same situation before.
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Some things are just personal do you use same toothbrush does he go in your purse ! Do you go in his wallet as well give me a break your blaming him for your past issues!!!
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I don’t go through my husband’s phone. Never have, never will. I trust him and I respect his right to privacy. Just like how I expect him to respect my privacy. Just because we are married doesn’t mean we have to be completely up in each other’s business. I have absolutely nothing to hide. But I still don’t want him looking through my phone. Same way I don’t like coworkers digging though my desk at work and how I want to hire a cleaning lady but don’t like the idea of someone touching my stuff… I like my privacy and I deserve to be able to have one thing in this word that is exclusively mine.
You either trust him or you don’t.
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Seriously don’t get married. Lol
He’s more than likely up to no good.
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Got something he’s hiding
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I’d talk to a therapist about your trust issues.
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My husband and I do not get into each others phones. Or purse/wallet or pockets or email. But neither is it off-limits; in other words if I needed something out of his wallet or needed to use his phone, it would be okay. And vice versa. Of course we always ask each other. But being forbidden to touch it seems a bit extreme. I’d try to have a conversation about it before jumping to conclusions and doing any snooping.
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If there’s nothing to hide then unlock it and thus the controversy everyone is blaming her for trust issues however she has a reason for that and her husband knows that so if he has nothing to hide unlock it and move on with life
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Get your hands on.it and hide it like it’s lost
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Don’t ask for trouble when there isn’t any. If they have never given you a reason to think other than that then with marriage you have to have trust and he may be feeling that it is a sign you don’t trust him or he may have had issues in the past which causes him to be that way about the phone. If you trust them enough to marry them in the first place you have to have trust in that too unless they are doing other things too.
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If there’s nothing hide he would tell you or show you whatever it is you want . That’s him being shady
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Not saying he for sure is cheating, but deflecting the issue by turning it around on to you and accusing you of treating him like the guys who cheated on you before him, is a type of gaslighting and it’s a tactic used to guilt you into submission and make you stop asking/trying to see, because you feel like YOU’RE the problem, even if you’re not.
Honestly, if he has nothing hide, there’s no need to hide it. I’ve been with my man for 12 years now, and my ex before him did a real number on my mental health, and had cheated a bunch. My man understood that and was patient with helping me get over the trust issues caused by my ex. Whenever I got paranoid and thought he was hiding stuff, he’d PROOVE to me he wasn’t. Eventually I accepted he was a good guy and managed to get over my issues. Don’t even remember the last I felt a need to “check” anything to make sure he wasn’t cheating, but it’s been years and years! People who TRULY have nothing to hide, have no reason to try to keep things hidden.
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Obviously he has something to hide!!
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A married couple should b able to c each other phones. U r supposed to become one , but the toothbrush thing is ridiculous to compare to a phone.