I’ve been with my husband for three years (married 2), and this is my third marriage. My first husband I was with ten years cheated, and my second husband I was with 13 years, and both cheated. Needless to say, I have trust issues. Although my current husband has never given me a reason not to trust him, it bothers me that I do not have access to his phone. Not that I want to snoop, but he is so adamant about me touching it, and that bothers me. He has access to my phone at any time. I feel if there’s nothing to hide, then why does he care. He feels that I’m treating him like everyone else and that he has nothing to hide. He says I’ve watched him unlock his phone, so I know how to get in, which I don’t, but he doesn’t offer to show me either. Suggestions?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. It bothers me that my husband will not let me touch his phone: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
If he doesn’t want you to check his phone then that’s a big red flag.
Don’t give him access to yours and see if his tune changes. If not. Run for the hills. Or play the game like him. 
Listen to your gut. I had a feeling something was up with my ex’s and I was right. Do you have this feeling at your core? Or are you just insecure
I use my husbands all the time and he can use mine (not to snoop) but sometimes mines dead and I use his to watch TikTok lol or whatever i can be on it whenever and it’s never been a problem like why can’t you see his phone why does it matter like he makes it seem like he’s hiding stuff
He’s hiding something. Trust your instincts! It’s marriage, absolutely have access at all times to one another’s stuff. He’s hiding something or it wouldn’t be an issue.
Yeah I would test him and just ask for his phone (just to see if he will even hand it to you) if he refuses, then I would take that as a red flag.
You have no business in his phone …
Yep he’s hiding something, my husband trust me with his phone and he does with mine. It’s 2 ways girl!
Tell him your batteries dead and you need to use his (online baking or checking something online). See how he reacts.
Well…you DO want to snoop. You’re not being honest with anyone including yourself.
So just ask him i guess.
If he says no you have to figure out if you can live with that.
let it go !! Something ain’t right with that picture…DO WHAT YOUR GUT IS TELLING YOU 
My husband and I never looked at each others phones . He would never go in my purse or wallet neither . It’s called respect
Yeah na I can’t believe you’ve made it three years like that
Wow really? Some people just like to have boundaries and personal space. Doesn’t mean he’s hiding something. I don’t use my partners, he doesn’t use mine because we trust each other.
Then he’s hiding something… you’re married, there should be no reason to not allow one another on your phones
I get it as everyone has right to privacy. But why do you want it? Are you suspicious he is cheating? Or your issues are making you feel suspicious? If you feel something is up then pay closer attention and watch him. If you are just wanted because you have insecurities then find a way to overcome them.
I use my husband all the time if mine dies to look at stuff or play a game… if he would ever not let me… we would have problems. If he needs mine I had it right over. If there is nothing to hide why have a problem. That would be a red flag for me.
If he has nothing to hide why isn’t he letting you…just saying. My husband can use mine at any point and I can his if I need or want to…if he has nothing to hid then what’s the big deal?
Beleive it or not even when you’re with someone, they are allowed to have some privacy. If you can’t trust your partner, that’s on you
Give him a taste of his own medicine. Change your code.
You.both on the phone bill? Set up an online account you can see text messages a. His calls
If he has access to yours you should have access to his or he cannot see yours anymore. That’s total bullshit.
Better figure out that password and get to snooping. You shouldn’t HAVE to look through his phone but if you need to use it it should not at all be an issue.
Don’t let him touch your phone, ever. See how he likes it.
Change your passcode and act the same way he does about his. Refuse to let him touch yours and see how quick the tables turn lmao
I’m not a cheater but my phone is my phone. It doesn’t mean he is cheating.
Go in it and look. There’s either a reason or he just likes his privacy. Either way I feel like he should be more considerate of your worries and triggers
He’s turning out back around on you for a reason.
ANYONE WHO DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING TO HIDE WILL HAND IT OVER.
You know it’s a red flag. And if he cares about how you feel, he would just let you have access. No big deal.
I know my husband. I know when he’s lying. I know when he’s guilty. Trust your gut. It’s normally right.
It wouldn’t be an issue, if he didn’t make it an issue.
Wait why can he touch yours and you can’t his.
Nope nope nope for me. If you can I can. So we’ll see this why I’m single and not married.
Um no I wouldnt want someone checking my phone I have nothing on my phone to hide but don’t like it when people go through my private things you should have sorted your trust issues out before getting into your third marriage and bringing your new husband down! He has a right to privacy married or not! I have never ever looked at my current partners phone yes I have used it but never intentionally took it to be nosey whatever is on his phone thats his buisness I trust him if theres no trust there’s no point in being with your husband he probably feels invaded you will push him away
Oh God I give wife my phone 2 or 3 times a week and tell her fix this stupid thing she free to see anything she wants
Red Red Flag!! My husband doesn’t care at all that I have access to his phone… but I dated a man for years who did & its because he was hiding the other women…
If its nothing to hide and he gets offended he’s hiding something.
OTHERWISE
what greater feeling for him for you to randomly check and find NOTHING
Every time they hide their phones they are hiding something from you…simple
Smash his phone and get a new husband!
I would straight up tell him to unlock the phone in front of you and let you see what’s up if he freak out or tell you your crazy insecure ect ect he’s hiding shit / cheating happens every single time the only reason to keep the phone locks and you out is because they don’t want you to see something
I’m on my 4th… touch everything!!! And if he don’t like it throw the whole man out. The marriages get better the more practice you get 
We are still individuals who need and deserve our own things. If you don’t have a reason to suspect anything, why does it bother you?
Sounds like he is hiding something
Hes hiding something if your not even able to use his phone period!
If he hasn’t given you reason to worry, you are punishing him for the sins of the ones before him. He should leave.
Smash his phone and find a new man
My husband doesn’t mind if I go on his phone and I do it all the time. I usually want to make a call or check something and my phone isn’t near me. However I don’t love it when he touches my phone. I’m not hiding anything I just don’t like it but will let him use it if he needs to.
I can definitely see why you are on your 3rd marriage. Keep acting like this and you will probably have a 4th one .
I understand your insecurities my ex husband had far more sex when we were married than I did… You should simply talk to him about your insecurities help him to understand them and get some counseling for yourself so you can learn to feel better about yourself and let go of the past.
My phone is just that, MY phone. I have nothing to hide but what’s in it is none of ANYONES business. It’s okay to keep your own property personal. If he’s never given you a reason then drop it because nothing is worse than being with someone who doesn’t trust you based in THEIR past.
Been through this. Exactly this. There is definitely an issue. I talked my way through it as well at the time. He even went as far as putting a GPS on my phone behind my back. I eventually left him and thought I was finally free of his control just to find out 6 months later he found his way into my home surveillance system and was watching me for over 6 months multiple times a day for hours at a time. It’s sickening. Put your foot down. It goes both freaking ways.
I never look at my husbands phone
He is hiding something!!! If he wasn’t he wouldnt care and if it helps to ease your mind and insecurities he would allow it. My ex husband was a cheater. My current husband got his new phone handed to me said set the pin and put ur Face ID in it!!!
Sounds like trust issues
I think hubby needs to leave you. You have trust issues from previous partners. You even state he’s given you no reason. And your one on Facebook making an issue out of it
You do not have your own phone to touch??
My husband’s phone is never locked. My phone was used for work as well and we had clients that would get into our phones so mine had to be password protected. My husband has always known the pin to get in and now he has his own fingerprint access to my phone. We don’t make a habit of going in each other phone but it’s available at anytime to each other.
I believe everyone has the right to phone privacy that bring said if he is that concerned about you looking at his phone you need to have a serious conversation together about the issue. He could be hiding something, but you need to talk. I have my SO password if I need to get in his phone for any reason
I believe (as does the majority) if you are not guilty and have nothing to hide - don’t be secretive!! Done !
Honestly, you’ve been through a lot and of course have trust issues! A man that wants to heal you and nuture you would want to put your mind to rest! He may not be doing anything but the fact that he doesn’t want to give you peace of mind is troubling! If he says you should already know his code for the phone by looking when he’s putting it in, then do just that and look. If he freaks out and won’t let you see then you have a BIG problem! If he lets you then snoop if you feel the need or maybe just having the code alone will help ease your mind! Unfortunately hun, this is what comes from entering relationships after being cheated on! Trust is hard to have when others have broken it! Good luck 
Trust your gut. I have ALWAYS had full access to my husband’s phone but he still managed to cheat on me.
Your gut feelings are right on target. He is hiding something
My bf early in our relationship picked my phone up and started going through it. I have nothing to hide, but I was mad. I felt in a weird way violated. It took me awhile to be able to move past that. If you have to search your husband’s phone you have no trust. And that is an issue that is not going to go away without work.
Sounds like your trust issues will lead to marriage #4 like it or not he deserves privacy same as you and just because you feel inclined to allow him to see your phone doesn’t mean he has to do the same. If he personally hasn’t given you a reason not to trust him prove you do by leaving it alone and who knows maybe he will change his attitude but pushing him is only gonna lead him to hide it more. Most of you have MAJOR trust issues of your own and you are pushing them even more on this woman.
I would talk to him about it. Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable. Personally I think nothing should be hidden. Once someone deletes something they have that intention.
He should understand that given your past he shouldn’t lock his phone
If he knows that you’ve been cheated on in the past and you have trust issues, why doesn’t he just show you that he’s not hiding anything. Then it could ease your mind. That’s how I feel.
I say theres no privacy in a marriage your married. You are one!
Sounds like my husband. I know his password to get in it but he keeps it in his pocket all the time and on silent when around me. I have been with his 15 years and have caught him talking to other women in the past. I havent left yet due to the fact he doesnt allow me to work at all and we have 4 children. So I do believe that if they dont allow us to even touch their phone then yes they do In fact have something to hide. And if he gets upset then that’s a evwn bigger red flag
Honestly he probably looks at porn or something and doesn’t want to be judged. I don’t want anyone going through my phone either. I have conversations with my best friend that are none of his business. I have nothing to hide really but there are things she doesn’t want him to know.
Hes being shady af and gaslighting you the fuck
Don’t even pay attention to these women saying they don’t look at their mans phone. You are MARRIED. What’s yours is his and what’s his is yours, is apparently how it’s supposed to go. You should be able to have access to his phone without him flipping out, as should he to yours. He’s absolutely hiding something.
I wouldn’t let him see mine either
If theres nothing to hide then he should give u the access code. I have my husbands & he has mine. Mutual respect for each other. Happily married 21+ years
If he has nothing to hide, he’s stupid. He’s causing a problem by not letting you look through his phone at least one time. Just one time to shut you up and then if he wants he can maintain his privacy argument. But he has to earn that by at least letting you see his phone once and showing you that there’s nothing to worry about. Trust is earned. You’re not just born with the right.
I don’t look & he doesn’t look at mine but its nice to know we could if we wanted too
My husband and I dont look at each others phones but if I asked he would let me and vice versa. If he didn’t, thats definitely suspicious. We know each others passwords too.
I would bring out my FBI skills I’m free to help if you want 
huge red flag… get his password and snoop while he’s sleeping. I’m guessing there may be something he doesn’t want you to see. If you look and there’s nothing, leave him alone about it and don’t ask anymore.
Sidenote: my husband and I don’t go through each other’s phone… but we could if we wanted! I could ask for his phone at any moment and he would give it to me.
A list of the reasons he shouldn’t let you look at his phone:
Ya, I got none.
If he wasn’t hiding anything then he wouldn’t care if U looked at it.
Girl he’s hiding something
Sounds like a red flag . Just my opinion
I dont like it when hubby goes in my phone without permission… and I have nothing to hide, same with hubby. Its a personal invasion of privacy I think. And I think you need to work on yourself, if he has never given you a reason then why do you care about going into his phone? You shouldn’t need to go into his phone if he hasn’t given you a reason?
Possibly he feels disrespected, your wanting to go through his phone because you lack trust in him that is displaced and caused by your exes. Eventually enough is going to be enough and he’s going to leave. You can’t assume that he is doing the same things they did. He isn’t them, not all men are trash. I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life but if they started demanding or trying to sneak into my phone I assume they don’t trust me, and that is a deal breaker for me. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Nothing pushes a good man away faster then accusing him of stuff he’s not doing. And if he happens to be doing anything, let it be exposed in some other way, but not by you forcing it.
he’s absolutely hiding something love. my ex didn’t let me touch his phone blaming childhood trauma which I respected until I found out he was cheating on me the majority of our relationship in which I bore him 2 children. it is a red flag.
My guys phone is locked and I do know his password but I rarely touch it I answer it if he’s not near it or hears it .mine is not locked and computers same we know each others passwords. But kids don’t
He’s hiding something.
That’s definitely shady. Anyone who has nothing to hide wouldn’t second guess you touching their phone. I can understand feeling offended if someone was always searching your phone but to just KNOW how to get in shouldn’t be a problem. I use my husbands phone all the time for things especially if mine is charging or not close by… he’s had my answer texts & messages for him when he’s busy but wanted to know who texted him. Just like me… I don’t mind having him know how to get on my phone or use it & I don’t care if he wanted to go thru it cause I have nothing in there to hide from him. I’d be worried if he was always searching it just because I’ve never gave him a reason not to trust me so it would be strange to me buttttt it wouldn’t be something I’d stop him from or be mad & I certainly wouldn’t change the password & not allow him on it.
I don’t want my husband to go through my phone because if I need to vent, I bitch about him to my friends🤷🏻♀️.
My husband and I don’t look at each others phones or tablets. He has his and I have mine. You have to have trust and respect in your relationship for it to be successful
Instinct tells me, he is being unfaithful.
I wouldn’t give him access to mine either then . Honestly if he has never given a reason to think anything is going on you shouldn’t need access to his phone. I don’t need to look at anyone’s phone to me that’s that’s bit insecure
My husband and I have access to each others phones at all times. I don’t feel the need to check his phone but the opportunity is there. Same goes for me. He’s hiding something. Red flag girl!
There is no reason you shouldn’t be able to see his phone. Point. Blank. Period. Shady shady…
Sounds like you are incredibly insecure and controlling and maybe a bit childish as well. You are not entitled to access to his phone. I’m amazed at how many people on here think its acceptable to snoop in someone else’s phone. If you feel like you need to snoop then you need to just let that man go and be done with the relationship. You don’t trust him therefore your relationship is already over.
I went through this and he was doing shit behind my back I am currently leaving him he is the worst narcissist I have ever seen
That man is hiding something girl trust your gut always.
He’s hiding something
we have all access to each other’s phones social media everything. But there’s no insecurities there for either of us because we both could never and would never.
The question begging to be asked is, and not judging but asking as another woman deeply concerned, is why are drawn to the same type of man over and over again, sister? 
Coming from a Man there’s something going on I have no problem letting my partner have a look if she ask you know the old saying if you got nothing to hide then you have no problem letting her have a look or Maybe you do have trust issues