It bothers me that my husbnd looks at half naked women on his phone: Advice?

Is it fair for me to feel hurt and upset when I find out my husband is constantly looking at a half-naked woman and their butts on his phone? I trust him, and he’s the last guy I’dI’d characterize as a womanizer. But it bothers me really bad; it makes me feel like he doesn’t want me anymore or like I’m not good enough for him! Am I overreacting? Just like on Snapchat, every video clicked on is a half-naked woman or their butts! He has even subscribed on Snapchat to curtain girls with their butts showing. I feel like he has NO respect for me! I asked him if he would be fine with me doing the same with guys, and he said, IDC what you do bc I know you’re coming home to me at the end of the day! (Is that normal for him to say)?? He says he’s sorry if that hurts me, but he just doesn’t seem to think that it’s a big deal if he looks at those, and like I said, maybe I need to know the hard truth and I’m a way to overly protective.

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You are a type of person that easily gets jealous,it’s normal. If he shows you love and he doesn’t hide which woman he is viewing then he isn’t cheating but at the same time I do think he should respect you by not doing that. He could do it just to make you jealous for the fun of it, I know people that do that. Your relationship doesn’t seem to be in danger but if you check his phone and you see nudes etc it’s over. Just talk to a psychiatrist if you really feel like you need it

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. It bothers me that my husbnd looks at half naked women on his phone: Advice?

Make him stop period if it upsets you he should love you enough to stop

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Do the same to him :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I categorize that as cheating :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Way I see it men will be men. They watch porn etc. as long as he isn’t physically cheating . Or chatting with other women. Also he shouldn’t be doing it in front of you on y’all’s time neither …

Look at half naked men on ur phone lol

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Nobody else can decide what’s acceptable and appropriate for your relationship. If you don’t like it then you don’t like it PERIOD. He should respect that. I mean it’s not like he’s going to die if he can’t watch those. He needs to learn self-control.

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Porn isn’t cheating. Sorry. Don’t care what kind of porn it is. Light or hardcore. He’s just looking at photos. He’s not with them or touching em. :woman_shrugging:

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I see nothing wrong with looking… I would have a problem with touching though, or any kind of secret conversations with the owners of those butts.

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You have to have a serious conversation with him. You need to tell him exactly how you feel and set the boundaries. Because what one couple considers “cheating” another couple could be fine with.

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He’s objectifying them. It’s disrespectful to you and to females in general.

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Completely disrespectful.

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He doesn’t feel the east bit sorry that it hurts you. And that kind of behavior can eventually lead to physical cheating,believe me.

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Don’t be shocked when you find out he cheated on you. And he will cheat given the chance since his mind is wondering around!

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I don’t care where be gets his appetite as long as he comes home to eat

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My bf was the same way when we got together and even said the same thing yours did but after seeing that it genuinely bothered me he stopped completely. For some people and their relationships it may be okay but for others it’s an issue and that’s perfectly fine he should respect your feelings for sure

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Your feelings are valid n anyone who says otherwise can fk off. Do something he doesn’t like n see how he handles it

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Hate this disrespectful :poop:

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I mean it’s just like watching porn
All men/ most men do it.
Those women don’t want him.

Pornography in any form can destroy a marriage, I have seen it do that many times, it is a form of cheating and it is not innocent no matter how much he tries to excuse it. His behavior is already making you feel less of a person, not good enough and believe me it will affect your marriage!

Baby IF he gave a fraction of a fuck how HIS Disrespectful behavior has left you feeling, You wouldn’t have to tell him to STOP, the Hurt in your eyes would be enough he wouldn’t do it AGAIN. He continues bc HE DOSENT GIVE A SHIT HOW IT LEAVES YOU FEELING.

Every woman is different, some dont care and some do. If you expressed you don’t like it and he still does it then he doesn’t respect how you feel… leave him :woman_shrugging:t5:

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Porn is normal and healthy. But if it really bothers you then talk to him

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You are not overreacting! It is wrong! It is cheating when he lusts after another woman. You need to tell him how much it hurts you. If he doesn’t take any regard to your feelings then he needs to go! It’s that simple!

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Your feelings are valid, some ppl are completely fine with this and some are not. What if u send him pics yourself? I’d try that.
I find it disrespectful but he may not see it that way at all. It doesn’t mean he will ever cheat, ppl on here like to jump to that right away

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Nothing wrong with him looking :woman_shrugging:t4:

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My boyfriend doesn’t do this or check girls out. I don’t think all men look just like I don’t think all women look. I have no interest in other people . I think if you don’t like it - it should stop

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If you tell him you want him to stop and he doesn’t then it shows that he doesn’t care enough about you to stop hurting your feelings or start looking at extremely hot guys in front of him making comments and see how he likes it he may say he’s okay with it but guaranteed he’s not

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He’s with you but he’s not blind and still a human being with thoughts and desires. It’s normal to look at others, as long as it stopped there. It’s not up to him to validate your every thought and emotion and he doesn’t have to stop doing the things he enjoys or wants to do because you said so. So many insecure women now a days, it’s sad really.

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I’d say let’s look at them together :woman_shrugging:.
I don’t believe looking at these means he’s going to cheat. Work on a compromise between the 2 of you. It can’t be 100% one sided bc that isn’t going to make one of you happy.

My man of 3years does same thing…he watches porn…it dont bother me…think of it as educational …

I don’t consider it cheating but it’s disrespectful AF . Unfortunately I’ve heard many stories similar to this and then later they find out their spouses were cheating. ( hoping that’s not the case ) i would talk to him again about it

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Unacceptable in my eyes

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That’s not normal to say.:grimacing::grimacing:
This made me cringe so much. I wouldn’t be happy with that at all!

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Get over it he is not cheating my husband looks at porn but I know he would never cheat

Haha I like those videos too.

You should definitely talk to him about it. The sad thing is is the men are visual creatures and they will never change. Maybe you should send him some pictures of yourself?

Just go look at other men I mean your husband is getting his fix why can’t you :rofl: you can look but don’t touch. If it becomes a problem throw the whole dude away

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Look at big D**** on your phone! He won’t like it! Watch!

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Let him look and you loo as good as you can. After all he is coming home to YOU.

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If he cared about you he would respect your feelings or at least be more discreet about it

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He’s a man, he’s gonna look at naked women whether it’s you or not.:woman_shrugging:t2: they’re like wild animals man. Lol he’s with you.

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He said it’s not a big deal for him but you said it’s a big deal for you. If it’s a big deal for even just one of you, it’s a big deal and must be stopped to preserve the marriage.

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It dont bother me until he either :heart:s the pic or trys to talk to the woman. And if it’s someone we knows picture or in the area … :face_with_monocle::roll_eyes::joy:That’s like porn. He can watch it whenever … it dont bother me… prob would if it was the nasty porn… and he’s not paying for it. but I mean I’ve seen his search history … shits not half bad :joy::joy: … but yeah … As long as I’m still feeling wanted and feeling like I still got it going on and getting laid when I want … we good :fist:

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Idk. Again, it depends on the relationship. I have no problem not doing it but maybe a female would want to be able to look…if I have no reason not to trust that they’re just looking then it’s not a big deal.

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It is wrong in every way

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Leave your jealousy at the door babygirl!! Men look at women, women look at men, people look at people. My grandparents, married for 58 years before grandpa passed - their motto - " you can get your visual appetite anywhere, just make sure you eat at home."

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Porn addiction is very real and common. There is no shame in getting therapy for it. If it effects you then it is bad enough for him to need help.

Can you just not get on his phone? I feel like my hubs is entitled to privacy with this type of thing. I don’t look for things that I know I might find. It gets easier after a little while.

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Been there done that. Dumped him.

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Shit my ex-husband and I used to look together.
And guy I am seeing now and I look together.
As long as he is coming home to me I don’t care if he looks.

It’s just nature we look at something we find appealing.

Last time I trusted those words we were together damn near two years and he randomly left and got married 3 weeks later to someone else. :confused:

Go find a lifesize poster of Jason Mamoa or somethin and tack it to the ceiling right above your bed, tell him hes not doin it for you anymore so you need a visual aid also

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But… does he know this bothers you? Unless you’re open about it and talk about your feelings, he probably won’t know. I’d talk to him before making the assumption that he doesn’t want you.

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I say if it makes you uncomfortable and it seems as if he’s completely dismissive of your feelings. He should respect you and your feelings and the relationship you guys have. Hopefully he’s not looking at porn because that’s the next step.

Total disrespect to you if you don’t like it then he should stop it

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I would feel bad too but that may just be personal insecurities arising and I’m self aware enough to admit that. At the end of the day if you don’t feel okay with it he should respect that

Ok. Would. Be. Flipin. Out. Over this

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Get a dildo bigger than what he’s working with. Make sure he sees it and when he says something tell him “it’s fine boat the end of the day I come home to you right?”

Idk. Because I would in turn look at hot ass men. I would also make sure they are the exact opposite of him. Therefore he would know how it feels. :woman_shrugging:

I wouldn’t care :woman_shrugging: And I applaud your husband for honesty And not trying to hide this from you.

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Isnt a big deal to me either…BUT it is what matters in YOUR relationship. What works for one doesnt work for others.

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He is pure disrepectful …
In order to build trust in your marriage an confidence in urself he needs to stop it and if he does not stop that’s pure disrepectful in ur marriage…
Men like that who dont stop has fantasies about these women they are looking at …

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He should stop it for you. If he wants to see that stuff he should come see you.

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Better that its half naked women than half naked men lol…as long as he looks no harm but if he touches then thats a different matter

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No he does bot respect you at all… and yes it’s a big deal

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Ok so my 1st husband omg he was all over porn and naked women. It was one thing because men are me they grew up off that as teens a habit that is hard to break. The issue was him meeting up with females for a good time found out through my phone account he was cheating. Divorced. 2nd marriage he would do the same minus cheating I didnt mind it cause hey again male nature BUT when it became an issue I am able to please and recieve pleasure but rather have pirn or half naked women to help him release.

If they didnt hide it, lie about it, and abuse it… probably wouldn’t be a big issue because the truth is one thing making sure it doesn’t affect the relationship is another…

My current relationship again he looks BUT he knows damn well to tell the truth to which he does I stopped doing things that sets off his triggers and he stopped the best he can for me.

It is a matter of communication if he is just like whatever it is your issue not mine tell him you have an ultimatum 1. If he doesn’t stop trust is gone in that area 2. Find a way to make things work that is best for you guys. If he doesnt care than he doesnt care about a lot of other things.

Everyone feels different about this subject, and can be very dismissive of people who have strong feelings about it.
You have to decide if you can live with it or not. Personally, I don’t play that game. I dealt with a man who was addicted to porn for a decade (and I’m sure was looking at all sorts of other women as well) I tried not caring, it made me completely miserable, anxious and resentful. We ended up spitting for much different reasons, domestic violence and he was also an alcoholic, but, his disrespect of me was absolutely a major problem that I should have NEVER put up with for so long. I deserve better from someone who claims to love me. I’m the type of person who gives all my attention to my partner, I couldn’t care less about lusting over other people, and that’s what I want in a partner towards me as well.

I now have the most loving and caring partner, that I couldn’t have ever imagined having. I couldn’t have created a more attentive, loving, respectful partner, than the man I am now so blessed to have.
I thought I was stuck “dealing with it” and the absolute misery it brought me with my ex, and turns out, I was just with the wrong person for me. 🤷🏼‍♀
I’m now very happy and in love and have never felt so secure and loved as I do now. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::black_heart:

If he knows it bothers you and he loves you he should want to stop.

My personal opinion though, I wouldn’t care. My husband and I check out people together :joy::woman_shrugging: im secure knowing that he isn’t cheating and he feels the same with me. We have always had access to each others phones if we wanted. Looking at half naked women on snapchat really wouldn’t bother me. Heck I’d go to the strip club with my husband and pay for a dance for him. BUT every person is different. If you are uncomfortable and it makes you upset then he should want to change that for you.

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Not a big deal as long as there’s no contact

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…it’s a relationship preference.

Was this a discussed boundary? Is it personal pictures he’s getting g directly from girls?
Not trying to be devils advocate, I just know how gray area porn in long term relationships is.
Just communicate with him. He loves you, right? This is a discussion.
I hope you find peace and know that you’re amazing, and nothing detracts from that. Your worth is yours and you know what you deserve.

Snapchat is dangerous and can easily lead to see more than butts and can lead to flirting. I would tell him you don’t feel comfortable with him having that and if he loves you he’ll stop. He can google asses or watch porn but Snapchat is a no no for me.

Leave him. Only a matter of time before he sticks his dick in something else

Honestly, I think your overreacting. I’ve been with my husband for 16yrs and he will comment she’s cute and flirt with the girls at work. I don’t give a shit and never have. We actually joke that he as a mistress (very good friend) in another province. He’s yours and if that’s something he likes then let him.

Get an Only fans and get that $$ girl!

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Probably likes little girls.

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I wouldn’t care but that’s just me, also my man doesn’t do any of that so now I’m questioning if he feels like you do when I’m looking at other women, and I subscribe to shit like that too! :grimacing:
That is a horrible feeling though :pleading_face: maybe sit down and tell him how it really makes you feel.

I dont care if he enjoys a tik tok, you tube, etc vid or pic of some female. Its nature to notice each other. We dont walk around with blinders on.

I notice a well dressed attractive guy and think “damn”. I would never say anything out loud, look too long, try to catch their eye, or anything that would cross a boundry and disrespect my relationship. I cant expect him not to notice another female. Thats just unrealistic in my opinion. I like fan pages to models and actors i find attractive for the eye candy to break up the memes and bs on my timeline. I would be a hypocrtite if i let my husband looking at females online bug me.

He choose ME, he comes home to ME, he shares his bed and life with ME. Females online dont get that from him. Why feel threatened by people he will never know and will never be a part of his life when i am?

My dad used to have sports illustrated subscription and tape the swimsuit model foldups on the wall in his basement workshop and in the garage. Doesnt bug my mom. Never has. She saves them for him before she recycles the magazine

He got some kinks sis work them out :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: sounds like he wants to explore more but you don’t. It’s not a sign of disrespect unless he’s doing it in a way ti trigger you purposefully?

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I personally don’t have an issue with it but if he knows that you do and he isn’t respecting you then that’s an issue.

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Could always try posting your ass on social media😂 just kidding. That crap would never make you feel better, if he isn’t going to stop then start talking to new men I mean he doesn’t care what you do because he knows you’re coming home to him at the end of the day. I believe real love would never hurt you like that so maybe he isn’t the one.

Here’s a secret….all your husbands look at half naked women rather you know it or not. Y’all are a tad controlling “if he loves you… lol” :rofl::rofl::rofl:

He loves you for you and if he wants to cheat he would.

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Comments are full of conditioned women as always. “men will be men they like women” sounds like something a 50s house wife would say after she caught her husband cheating

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Sit there infront of him with your phone and bring up naked men flick through it and start making noises like Oh baby yes baby Ahahha see what he says :joy::rofl:

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If he says he doesn’t care if you do it, then do it too. :woman_shrugging:t2: I bet he’s not as okay with it as he thinks he is.

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His a male ! They have natural urges to check women out ! Same way we will look at a sexy man!
Just doll your self up and take some sexy pics and put them on your Instagram when he asks about them just say ! I’m adding to the material for all you men to stare at !! Ahhaha

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Idk I feel like alot of men do this. I don’t really see the big deal. Maybe cause I look too :joy:

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How is this honoring you? It’s not.

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This view is how my hubs & I are, Don’t care where you got your appetite as long as you eat it home.
I can appreciate a good looking man & still love my husband. :woman_shrugging:
At least he isn’t hiding it from you.

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That is not normal I was in a relationship where he constantly did the same thing and I was told by him and his entire family “who does he come home to at the end of the night” and then after a little bit of this he ended up cheating on me and yet I was still told but he comes home to you at the end of the day. I then realized that it was toxic and they were trying to make what he did smaller than what it was. I don’t think it’s acceptable

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I hired a stripper for my OH birthday party :rofl:

I would not be okay with that at all. No respect.

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No shapchat for married men or women. Just no.

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If he was truly sorry that it hurts you, he wouldn’t keep looking at half naked women and their butts. Sorry to say but if your partner knows something bothers you but refuses to change with the “I am who I am” mentality, that’s just him being dismissive.

He said he doesn’t care if you don’t too, start looking at men on IG and snap with buldges through their pants, do it in front of him all the time and let’s see if he’s truly ok with it

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Would you rather for him to look at half naked men?! He is a man. If she is fine & has a big booty im gonna look too & I love :eggplant:

Lord. Have. Mercy.

Hopefully you’ll figure it out eventually.

Anyone will do you as sorry as you allow them. You could have a lot of fun with this… and may decide to…
Eventually though… respect yourself to not allow disrespect.

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Imo he(my husband) can look at the menu as long as he doesn’t order off of it.

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It’s not ok. Women should stop behaving like men are animals with little control over themselves. Yeah sex is a part of life but not bigger than healthy, loving relationship! It’s ridiculous to always excuse their shitty behaviour. I know that lots of women is just not strong/clever/brave enough to challenge this behaviour so they are apologists for them, but in reality people who can’t control themselves need help.
No, he is in relationship with you and with your as, if he wants some other women ases he should leave and be single.
It’s disgusting for me to even think that my man would get hots for some other women bodies. I’d feel dirty every time he would touch me, because I’m pretty sure he would think about them since he gets his lollies going watching them. Men don’t watch porn or online pictures because they study biology. They watch it get arouse. If some women prefer to sit quietly and are scared to challenge the status quo, it’s their choice, but you definitely don’t have to and shouldn’t tolerate that. And you don’t have to get to his level watching some naked men, because it would only prove that he doesn’t care.