Just needing support with my current situation

I went from being in a toxic, abusive relationship of several years, trying for a baby off and on in the good times, and never get pregnant. Too I finally escaped with my nine-year-old son and started feeling like myself. Living the single life for a few short months, I started a fantastic new job. I really had things looking up. I met a guy, and we slept together after a few dates. He is wonderful so far. Here is the biggy. I found out two weeks ago that I am pregnant and I know it is his. We haven’t even known each other for three months. He is aware now and took the news better than I did. He said he would support me in whatever decision I make. I am taking that with a grain of salt for now. He wants a relationship now, and I am mentally really struggling. I don’t have the slightest idea what to do. I went over nine years never being able to get pregnant and struggling with PCOS. Being told I would probably need IVF to have a child. Now I find out I am pregnant, and my mind is blown. The guy and I live an hour apart also and have been seeing each other when we can. I have sole physical custody of my son, and he has joint with his. He has been supportive, especially since morning sickness has kicked in, so I am thankful for that. He did hint towards abortion because we haven’t known one another long, but he wanted to make sure I know that in no way would he pressure me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. I was never a wild girl. I didn’t party. I make one bad choice, and I am really struggling with what people will think of me. I just need advice or anything, really. I am so lost.

1 Like

Sounds like you have your very own miracle on your hands. :heart:

16 Likes

Keep your baby. He or she is a miracle! :heartpulse:

11 Likes

No one will think badly of you… most people are grappling with their own problems.

What would you do if there was no father in the picture ? Would you keep the baby or not ?

2 Likes

Keep the baby if that’s what you want! You don’t have to live together for awhile if you don’t want to. Keep your independence and if down the line you decide you want to settle down then you can! Blessings and prayers sent your way! :heart:

3 Likes

Sounds like God is in control . He has given you a life to care for. Its up to you on what you do, but I would take it as a sign .

3 Likes

Girl same thing happened to me. Pcos. Adopted my first child with my ex husband. I was told since I was 15 I would never have kids. My ex and I still tried for years with ivf and fertility treatments. Never even a scare. We split up a year after adopting, our relationship become really toxic after almost 8 years. And i got with a guy a year later and boom pregnant two months later. I am pregnant with my third now (second pregnancy/third child).

2 Likes

Forget what other people say…it’s your life…enjoy your baby xxx

1 Like

Keep that baby :two_hearts::two_hearts: deep in your heart you know you wanted it! God gifted you bc he knew you needed it ! Sometimes even when we don’t know how we can do things…the things do us and even tho there’s struggles there can be happy endings !!!

3 Likes

You should never worry about what people think of you. People always have something to say, it’s none of their business. You need to do what is right for you. Your the only one that can figure that out for yourself. We can give you all the advice in the world, but you need to be true to you and what you want. Someone was watching out for you and knew that your ex boyfriend was no good for you. This is a miracle​:heartpulse::blue_heart:

1 Like

He has super sperm maybe ur meant to be id take it alow and seee what comes of this no need to tush just because ur pregnant

Going through a divorce currently and we tried for years to get pregnant and never did. We split up. I met a wonderful guy in May and found out in July that I was pregnant.

1 Like

I’d say to make your decision as if the father wouldn’t be in the picture at all. Whatever path you choose is okay…but let it be your choice…not one influenced by others.

1 Like

Babies are a blessing! I am glad he’s supportive. I would keep the baby! :blush:

3 Likes

You don’t have to be in a relationship. I did the same thing, got pregnant by a guy a barely knew because the condom broke. At first I debated an abortion but I’m glad I didn’t. She is the best thing ever. I’m sure your son would love to be a big brother and have a sibling and someone to talk with when he gets older

1 Like

If you wanted another baby and struggled it sounds like you’ve been blessed. Also my now husband and I got pregnant after only knowing each other about 5 months, we’ve been together now 12 years & have 2 daughters. He sounds like a good guy, I’d definitely keep the baby and just see where the relationship goes.

2 Likes

Happened to me after 6 years and guess what my baby is 16months already and he is truly a blessing :heartbeat: I think about it once in awhile that I would’ve missed out on this beautiful lil boy if I didn’t have him :pleading_face:

First off, congratulations :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: you got this mumma. You’ve been through alot and now you have a new beginning. What will be, will be. Good luck

That’s a miracle baby and probably you didnt get pregnant for the guy you just left as that was a sign,keep that baby!!

1 Like

You wanted a baby, tried for forever to have another one, now you’re having one. Just because it wasn’t created in the “perfect” way in the “perfect” time doesn’t mean anything. It’s a blessing, Congratulations :relaxed:

God has given you a blessing. He knew the other guy wasn’t a good mix. This is a sign. Dont abort please

2 Likes

Maybe god wanted this for you injoy the baby and whatever happens between the dad and you so be just both of you think of the baby

I have PCOS and was told at 18 I would need IVF met my current partner when i was 25 dated a few months then slept together first time I fell pregnant was so shocked and even more so when our son was 8 months I fell pregnant again and had another son and when our second son was 8 weeks fell pregnant with our daughter! My kids are now 5 months 1 and 2 it’s a life I never imagined and obviously we was still dating when I fell pregnant so we are still learning new things about eachother after four years but wouldn’t change it for the world best night of my life meeting him in that pub!! Tbf I didn’t think my partner would stick around but he has and turned out t be a great father and partner give him a chance! X

2 Likes

Doesn’t matter what others say. Not everything in life goes the way we plan or want it to. You roll with the punches. Glad he is supportive.

1 Like

Who cares what people think. You finally have your miracle baby without having to do IVF. Whether the guy is there or not you can do this!

35 Likes

Make the decision based on what you feel…Dont let what other people think be any sort of factor…Its your life…Also just cos timing is off cos you barely know the guy…Dont base your decision soley on that…Maybe it will work out with you both maybe it wont…

1 Like

My youngest son was born after his dad and I dated for about 3 months. Things happen exactly when and how they should sometime and y’all were meant to bring that life into this world.

My ex & I were in a similar situation, we knew each other a short time then started dating , a few months later I got pregnant with my daughter , she is 8 years old now . I wouldn’t trade her for the world . My daughter is a blessing , everything happens for a reason , I’m glad you found a decent man , it took me 8 years to walk away, but luckily I found a man who treats me with respect & is also amazing with my daughter .

I went through the same thing. I was married for ten yrs, and had 1 son. I tried for another, and it never happened. I do have pcos, and was told I’d never have kids. I got a divorce, and stayed single for many yrs. I met a guy, and got pregnant first time, we didn’t know each other long. We would breakup, and get back together. I decided to end it for good, and 2 wks after that, found out I was pregnant again. I love all 3 of my kids, and think of them as my miracles. I went through those 2 pregnancies by myself, that was hard, and he’s still not around, so doing it completely on my own. Your lucky he wants to be there. I didn’t care what people thought, they were meant to be here, and that’s all that matters. People do say something about the age difference though. I have a 20 yr old, 7, and 5.

If they don’t pay your bills and feed your kids, it doesn’t matter what they think. You already feel you made a mistake. You’ve been given a gift God saw fit, so love it and take one step at a time. God doesn’t make mistakes like we do.

I got pregnant with my first after 2 weeks of being with her dad. We moved in after a month of being together. We have been together for now 7years in may

Do what is best for you and your situation. Are you able to care for the children on your own if he doesn’t stay in your life? Do you want to have a baby with him? If not then it’s completely up to you and there is always a chance to try again in the future if you choose too. Sometimes your mental well being is enough to make it hard to get pregnant so maybe that’s why you struggled in the past? Always do what you want and what is best for your family. :blush:

I would take it as a blessing and even if y’all dont want to be together then so be it just make sure y’all can co-parent bc it will make everyone’s life easier.

Dear one , please know God has given you an amazing gift ! This baby is designed by Him for you ! You can do this with or without him . I would urged you to keep the baby . As you go down the road of your pregnancy , if you can’t deal with keeping the baby , then place it up for adoption . You would be giving a couple the best gift in the whole world ! But , I think you will end up keeping the baby for yourself . Your child will love having a sibling ! If the BF decides he doesn’t want to be involved , he can pay child support . You CAN do this ! Trust me , I know of what I speak !

2 Likes

Things happen just the way they are supposed to :heart:
That baby & every baby is a blessing :heart:

2 Likes

I would say that God works in mysterious ways and maybe y’all haven’t known each other that long but this is definitely a miracle baby and who cares what anybody else thinks as long as you’re happy that’s all that matters…and I came from an abusive relationship it never hurts to go to therapy

1 Like

Things happen when they are supposed to happen. This child is a blessing.

2 Likes

God doesn’t make mistakes. This baby is a miracle and has a purpose. Trust him and let the shock wear off.

2 Likes

Sometimes life has amazing surprises! Everything and everyone happens for a reason! Its wonderful he is being supportive. Your doubts might be stemming from ptsd because of the abusive relationship. Take it as a blessing! Your son now has a sibling! Yay! Who knows what the future holds and that can be scary, but it could also be the best thing that ever happened to you! And congratulations!

1 Like

Wouldn’t worry what others think worry about what you think of him and go from there,make sure he’s a good one

1 Like

I was in a similar situation. It’s scary at first. I would rather have my awesome child than care what anyone thinks of me. Me and the guy are going on 3 years together :blush:

3 Likes

Things happen when they’re meant to happen

Take this as God’s blessing. Our daughter was diagnosed PCOS over 20 yrs ago. If she got pregnant now we would be thanking God! All babies are a blessing. If you should choose you can’t keep your baby by all means adoption is the answer. Our daughter was adopted as a young baby. Bb est gift from GOD I ever received! Don’t even think of her as adopted more like I had her myself. I Pray to God all the time to give our daughter a wonderful blessing!

No one will know if you get an abortion if you don’t tell anyone. It’s ok to get one if you really want to. However, you tried to get pregnant for years and it seems like you can take care of another child.

Forget about what people will think. What do YOU want. Do you want a relationship with this man? Do you want another child at all? Don’t rush into it but don’t put a wall up that blocks the chances of you having a good relationship. I would discuss with this man your past relationship, your fears, and also both of you should discuss if you can take care of another child. Lay it all out. The way he reacts and expresses himself should give you a good answer if you want to have a relationship with him.

2 Likes

Maybe instead of looking at the negatives, try hard to look at the positives. You got your miracle baby❤️ Now be happy and enjoy your pregnancy, because you will never get this time back:)

1 Like

Keep the baby and raise it

Do what you feel is right. It doesn’t matter what others think.

My husband and I got pregnant after dating less than 3 months… We’ve now been married almost 20 years with two boys… Things in life happen for a reason…

3 Likes

A similar thing happened to me in the past. I was in a relationship for several years and we couldn’t get pregnant. We eventually broke up and I few months later I met a guy and within a month I was pregnant, I thought it was a sign that I was in the right relationship with the right person but this man was the most vile, narcissistic person I have ever met.
Yes all babies are a blessing , but please don’t take it as a sign. If you are not ready and feel like it’s too soon then that is up to you. Please don’t make this choice in regards to other people’s opinions.
My son is my hero and I wouldn’t change anything for the world but not everyone’s experiences are going to be the same.
Good luck love :heart:

2 Likes

keep the decision to continue the pregnancy separate from the relationship. If you really want another child and you are capable of raising it on your own then go for it. But do not rush into anything with the father.

4 Likes

What do you want to do? Don’t worry about what others will think. You tried and tried to have another baby, and now, God is giving you one. In this day and age, nobody cares if you’re married or how you got pregnant, or by whom. Focus on what you want, and make it happen.

4 Likes

God gave you this baby now for a reason the last 9 years you couldnt because that relationship wasnt good .be happy this man is excited for it .

2 Likes

Little miracles are meant to be no accidents there enjoy

2 Likes

This is a lot for you to process no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed. One day at a time ignore your brain when it tells you things are going to good and something will go wrong as it tries to bully you into sabotaging yourself x

1 Like

You have been given a gift from god…cherish every moment and don’t look back…don’t worry about what other people think …the ones who matter will support you…as far as the guy just keep dating get to know each other you don’t have to make any decisions about him…if he says he will support you in whatever decision you make…Great then lean back and see if he indeed does…time will tell where he will fit in your life!! :innocent:

4 Likes

You can only do what you think is best for you and your son . If you have got real feelings for the father of the baby just take your time getting to know him more and in the next few years you might have a really good solid relationship . But do what is best for you

1 Like

You do what you feel is right.
I got pregnant after being with someone for 3 weeks.
He left when the party was over and " I got to hard to deal with"
I’m 7 months pregnant now. It has been a hell of a pregnancy but a blessing none the less.
I also tried for years with my ex for a baby and we never did get pregnant. There was SO many mix emotions especially after he left. I never had an abortion before and I personally didn’t think I could do it so I didn’t.
Thats MY situation though. Whats hard but working for me doesn’t mean it will for you if you aren’t prepared to have to do it alone at some point. But then again I say that and you and the new mister might fall in love and be together always. Just like some people do it " the right way" get married buy the house then get pregnant and end up divorced. We do not know our future holds and ita scary as hell. Especially when you are pregnant.
You just have to trust the process and what you feel is right in your heart hunn. No one can make this decision for you. Not him not anyone here… just you babe :heart:

2 Likes

Children are a blessing from God. He’s being supportive so let him be a father and bond with his baby. The relationship will either come or it won’t, don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

1 Like

Your life your body your choice!:heart::pray:t2:

1 Like

When I started dating my bf the condom tore. I knew his stuff worked well as he had 4 kids b4 me. I freaked out. It was “a fling” he held me. Told me he supported whatever i decided. Forward 2 weeks I got my cycle phew but he showed he supported whatever I wanted. We got more serious cuz now I knew if I did get pregnant he wouldn’t run. We were pregnant with out first on our 1 year anniversary so it happened kinda fast. Now were expecting #3

2 Likes

It’s a scary thought to have another baby especially with someone you don’t know as well as you’d like. I was only seeing my now partner and father of my son for a short while before I fell pregnant. It was a shock and I had plenty of meltdowns in the beginning but now fast forward and we still have our hurdles but we have him and none of what we were freaking out about matters now :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Somethings don’t work out the way you’d think they would of but that doesn’t mean you aren’t exactly where you need to be.
You’ll be fine :clap::clap:

1 Like

I was told before my last baby getging pregs wasn’t very likely. I went through a very stressful time and lost over 55lbs in a month and got pregs… I think it’s got something to do with what my hormones did to take out the trash in my body tbh but as far as the med family they have clue how this happened either.
But for whatever reason that baby saved my life. The stressful time i went through I did NOT take care of myself at all. In my :heart: I know the lord pit me in that place for many reasons and that he has a plan for my son.

1 Like

Don’t ask other people for advice. Go with your gut

1 Like

Keep that precious baby. Take it slow with the dad and date him while pregnant and after till you know for sure whether you want to stay together or not. But be kind and gentle with each other. If it winds up not working out you will need financial help with the baby. Keep that door open. Everything will be ok.

2 Likes

If you really want that baby, have it. If not, don’t, no one but you can make that choice. You don’t have to have a relationship with the guy if you aren’t ready for that. You can be friends and coparents. It sounds like you did really want a baby, and who cares if you barely know the guy. It happens a lot. It happened to me. I left a guy who beat me and found out that I was pregnant a few weeks later. He sometimes pays child support and used to visit, but I adore that little boy that I decided to have! People who judge you usually have the most skeletons in their own closets.

2 Likes

Your body your choice.

1 Like

I would say it’s a blessing! I have PCOS and have been dealing with infertility. I would say this is meant to be for you! Congrats :sparkling_heart:

1 Like

Easy one, you want to go to heaven or hell…you decide

4 Likes

You are tying yourself to his star for the rest of your life.

Honey I had the same. Thing happen to me but I was married for 10 years and thr new guy and i were only together a month after falling pregnant and my son was 5, I decided to give him a shot and here we are now 3 years later and on baby #3 i also have pcos everything happens for a reason :heavy_heart_exclamation:

3 Likes

I got pregnant after 2 months with my current boyfriend after escaping a 3 year toxic abusive relationship… I was SCARED as this is my first baby but his third, we’re together 10 months later and we’re due in about 2 weeks!!! It’s been tough but I loved him almost right away and now our son is coming soon and we’re stronger than ever… you made the right choice for YOU! I considered abortion but it isn’t for me, and I’m glad I didn’t but you know what’s best for you mama! Prayers for you and the baby and I hope you make the best choice for you and that baby! Good luck you got this :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

1 Like

Baby can’t help it.didnt ask to be made

3 Likes

You’re welcome to contact me, my husband and I will gladly adopt the child so you don’t have to choose abortion.

I will tell you I think our life’s aren’t made of mistakes but lessons. This child is meant to be. Hugs for you while you figure out what to do.

9 Likes

You do whatever you think is best. These things happen and you’re not the first woman its happened to. Just think it through, and choose whats best for YOU without any outside influence. Seems like he wants to try and be there, if he’s not, would you be okay? This might be the start of something good. Take a day or two to let the shock settle, and choose wisely. You got this mama!

3 Likes

I beg you ! Please don’t abort!! You will regret the rest of your life . Give it up for adoption. Yes,it’s your choice,but you will live with it.

1 Like

First of all congratulations​:tulip::cherry_blossom::rose::bouquet::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:being a mommy is need…things will work out…stop running to the use to be…what if…u doing great with ur 9 yo…talk to him or counseling…I know how them. Ugly. 'ships can be…just take it day by day…it’s all new…ur in my prayers…wish u well…

1 Like

Stop caring what others think. But a baby is so amazing in so many ways. It taught me to love life so much more. And I always having something to look forward to and that’s watching my boys grow up and learn everyday

1 Like

End of the day everyone will tell you their opinion but you need to do what is best for you .
Take everything in to account. And use protection ,especially if you just met someone. Take care

1 Like

If you spent all that time trying for a baby and not being able to get one, I wouldn’t be quick to abort. If it doesn’t work out with the dad hopefully you guys can stay friends. But I would keep the baby

2 Likes

I say keep the baby, date the guy. Get to know each other. You have several months to do that. See how things go. Don’t rush things just because you are pregnant.
Also you were trying for so long with the bad ex. Maybe this is a sign that you did the right thing in escaping.
You seem like a rational person who is just overwhelmed with everything. Don’t make a decision you can’t take back while you’re feeling swamped.

10 Likes

It’s a baby. Your baby! It’s not a mistake, you weren’t meant to have a baby with your ex. Give this man a chance. He may actually be a decent guy.

4 Likes

I think whatever decision you make will be the right one. It’s your body. If you think you can raise that child without his help in case he is not there for you then go for it. Adoption is always a choice as well. Whatever choice you make is yours but you’ll be okay. There is no right or wrong answer here. Just take a few days to think it through

2 Likes

Keep the baby and get to know the dad, one thing to never forget either- you’ll never regret your kids :heart:

6 Likes

As far as I know other people aren’t going to give you money or time to financially support your child. Take him out of the equation in your mind. If you feel like you’d be happy with your child and stable even if he isn’t in the picture down the line then keep it and let it flow. If you see yourself housing negative feelings if the relationship ends then I’d say you have some thinking to do. Just to add this in. When my boyfriend and I started our relationship we had a pregnancy scare and he told me the same thing this guy told you. It’s been 2.5 years and we just welcomed a baby boy. Genuinely he is the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I don’t regret being with him at all. Maybe he’s being genuine and really cares for you

1 Like

But honey its not a bad choice. You were moving on with your life. I would say that this is a higher power blessing your decision to move forward from past toxicity. Fuck what other people think.let him help as much as he can. You are a woman who deserves the happiness this child can bring. Good luck to you.

Do what you think is best hun. Screw everyone else and what their opinions are of you and what you choose to do. If abortion is what u feel is best then do so. If u think u two can work this out and have a baby whether u get into a relationship or not then do it. But don’t focus on what anyone else thinks. Worry about whether u think u can handle it

1 Like

The same thing happened to me, I have a child with my ex husband and after the divorce I spent 11 years in 3 bad relationships, never could convince another child. I assumed I just couldn’t have anymore but I met this guy and 2 months into the relationship I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared of what was going to happen but we stayed together and are going on 5 years now, more in love than ever with our happy little family. Everything happens for a reason, and if it doesn’t work out that’s ok too because you will still have a beautiful little baby to love!!

3 Likes

Your first priority now is the two children entrusted to your care. Yes, you are now the mother of two. Stay on your own and delay any final decision on this relationship until after the baby is born. By then, he should have shown his true colors and you won’t find yourself stuck in a second bad marriage. Keep your job and accept any help he offers, because this child is half his, after all.

4 Likes

Love this baby! You have been blessed!

2 Likes

Keep the baby, please dont abort. Co parent if need be or if you both still want to date / get to know each other, take the time to do that. But please dont abort. Having a baby is a blessing and being a mother is one of the best feelings in the world. Prayers for you.

2 Likes

Cant you see…you have been given a gift…its ment to be…enjoy your little baby …

4 Likes

Keep that baby. The baby is a gift from God. You evidently asked for that baby at one time or another. Love it, enjoy it, be proud of it and teach it to be proud of itself and teach it to love.

5 Likes

I meet my now husband off the internet. Within 3 months of us dating I was pregnant. He lived 2 hours away. I didnt know what to do. Didnt know if wanted a relationship. Id been single for awhile at this point. Didnt even want to be a mother. Was very faithful with my bc and always used protection. But the big man upstairs had other plans. My husband was excited. He moved down to live with me. Left everything he knew behind. He had a 10 yr old daughter at the time. But he didnt hesitant for us to be a family. He asked me to marry him within a couple months of me being pregnant. I still waited 3 yrs to do it. Lol. But here we are 10yrs later. Married 7yrs. And now have 2 beautiful little girls. Give the guy a chance to be a Dad. He may just think that baby isnt something you want and is being nice about the situation.

1 Like

Can’t hurt to talk to a therapist/counselor. A calm and reasoned party with no skin in the game can help you sort out your hopes, thoughts and fears while your hormones are kicking up a storm.

1 Like

It doesn’t matter what people think of you love it’s your life not theirs do what suits you x sometimes life just happens and that’s it have the baby if it’s what you want things happen for a reason x

1 Like

Oh sweetheart thats a blessing for you
Who cares what people think or say
Hold your head high an walk in bye
In life people gonna talk ni matter what do whats best for you 1st not anyone else

2 Likes

he sounds like a decent guy from what you’ve said. give him a chance and give your baby a chance to live.

5 Likes

I think the decision is yours to make. Ypu also need to put into consideration though that this baby is a “miracle” baby. It shouldn’t matter who the father is. There are so many people out there who have gone through ivf treatments and even adoption. It does not matter who the “parent” is. As long as you are happy bring a mother again to a precious little one then don’t worry about what other people think. Everyone makes horrible decisions in their lives. I wouldn’t call yours a bad one or even a mistake. You did an adult thing and adult things can have consequences, good or bad. I think ypu just need a moment to breath and let it truly sink in. You got this!!! Good job on escaping the horrible relationship. God knew what he was doing!

1 Like

Bad choice? Girl you had sex after a breakup. Be happy about your little baby. It happened for a reason and in the end you won’t regret it.

4 Likes

Oh hunni, first of all congratulations :heartbeat:
I think everything happens for a reason, some might disagree but you were in a toxic relationship unable to get pregnant (im sorry) but now maybe this is your time for happiness and well its happened a little early but maybe this is what was meant to be. Screw what anyone else thinks, you deserve to be happy and if this baby and new guy fit the picture then who cares. You do you hunni. And as someone who was in a awful relationship, I didn’t know who I was anymore and even after we split there was still his voice in my head controlling every decision, telling me I dont deserve to be happy but I finally let go and I let myself take back control. I have now been with my partner for 5 years and have a 2 year old.
I hope you figure everything out…all the best x x

4 Likes