Yup been there done that …teach that pos a hard learned lesson n tell him he’s got 30 days to smarten up or he will need to find an alternative place to stay
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if you are doing all the work and paying most of the bills get rid of him, ask your self why do you want to live like this and if this is how you want to live (because of love) then don’t tell everyone about it
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My Dad told me oxer sixty years ago.Why have a man around when you have to do everything yourself
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Baby I mean this in the nicest way possible but I promise there are way better fish in the sea than him. Throw him back and move on. I spent YEARS wasted living with a man who was literally everything you just described. Left and shortly after married someone else. Life is better. You do NOT deserve the carry the load alone. It sounds like he’s being selfish and manipulative.
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Personally id not be taking on a new lease with him id be doing it alone. If hes not paying his share and helping out whats the point of him being there at all.
He is not going to change…either you accept his behaviour or you move on alone. If you choose to keep trying then make sure any new lease is in your name only and charge him rent …he doesn’t pay then he gets no services…laundry, cooking, sex all get stopped
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Honestly my opinion
But I don’t think you should move into the new townhouse with him. Make him stay where he’s at now, in a relationship it’s 50/50 or on the hard days one puts in a little more, you shouldn’t have to tell him to be a father or to put time into your relationship.
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It’s more stressful having someone with you that does absolutely nothing while you do everything alone than to be by yourself and do it all alone. You don’t need that added stress cause it won’t change.
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If you can afford to stay at the new place alone ask that he be removed from the lease and just move yourself and baby there. If not, see if you can get out of that lease and cut your losses and get a smaller spot for you and kid.
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I wouldn’t pick any of his things. Pack up you and your baby and move
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He’s still a child. I’d move into the townhouse without him
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Why are you paying for daycare by yourself? You need to save money so you can hire a lawyer for child support. Don’t move to the new townhouse, cut ties now. Get his ssn before you cut ties.
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Why you living with him? Life is so short and you living stress everyday, it not worth it
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You all ready know what you should do . I tell my daughter this everyday . Leave him
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Leave the AH document everything you do, kick him out or you leave. Marriage now it’s both helping a judge will say it in court. You don’t need to put up with this abuse and it is. Leave him it’s not goin to get better.
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He won’t change unless he is willing too … My “bf” and I have been together for 6 and half years now … we have 2 kids together 4 years of dating before I got pregnant he was only doing what he wanted and when he wanted … No date nights, not helping around the house until he’s asked too, He never cooked for me, he would never drive me anywhere… still when I got pregnant on our 5th year my daughter ALL HE DID was play games and stay up all night till 7 in the morning … Sleep allllll day and then go to work in a rush … I ask him to make bottles he rarely helped He never changed her never gave her a bath and never fed her A PROPER meal we fought on and off throughout we broke up technically in the middle of our 5th year… I found out that I got pregnant with our second child … I stayed a single mom for 5 and half months until he convinced me that he was gonna help me out with both kids otherwise I won’t have him in my life besides him seeing the kids. I moved back in with him and well he did start helping more in the house he changed our daughter he feeds her… but he won’t change feed our son … If I ask him to hold him it would only last maybe 5 min or the most 10 … HE still sleeps all day and works he sometimes plays games not all the time do that’s ok … we live pay cheque to pay cheque aswell only because our damn rent is 2600 and food is fricken crazy high right now … now including gas … But overall He’s grown and changed I just wish he would be more helpful with our son and let me take a meaningful bath or shower without me thinking he’s crying , or let me take a nap or let me have some “me” time … … I do wish you the best of luck … But from what it sounds like YOU DESERVE BETTER I wish I took better care of my feelings back then but it turned out okay and I’m not that disappointed
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What exactly does he contribute to your relationship? You are already a single mother . Move without him . He’s not going to be missed 
x
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Hate to say it but sounds like you’re doing it all on your own. You might as well be a single mom because that’s what you’re doing and you’re taking it all on yourself you need to boot him to the curb get child support and move in this townhouse on your own. You seem to gor This completely under control on your own you don’t need a man. Us women are just a strong and capable of doing what a man does. You should not have to ask for any help with your baby that’s his as well he helped make this child so he should do for this child just as much as you.
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Sounds like you’re a single parent already might as well be one, he’s stressing you more then helping you and doesn’t care , you have to take care of yourself as well in order to be the best you for your baby girl , if you’re unhappy and stressed all the time she can feel that, you twos happiness ,mental and physical health are too priority, and you clearly can do it just about all on your own. Hope you get some kinda of resolve sorry you have to deal with this , it’s definitely not fair
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Throw the whole man away.
I feel you on this. Our situation is almost a 10 outa 10 equal. I told mine time and time again. Well as of last month i told him if i wanted to be a single parent i would of left. But I’m here so inwant an hs. But it’s not as clear on your end, so heres the deal. I feel alone anyway, and doing like 95% of EVERYTHING on MY OWN. So tou have a month to prove you want US here. NOT JUST ME. Well his month has come and gone, he has stepped up more then what he was before, but i find i still need to have little pep talks. I again shouldn’t have too. So as a compromise on MY End only, to be with him but not live with him. If still no changebas of when he has his children then, WE WILL be separated. He will have his kids when he wants, but i will NOT force it. He’s by no means a bad father, just has no discipline. So. I guess best of luck and good outcomes on no matter what you decide. And mine is after 11yrs.
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Why wait? You’re already a single mom so be one! He’s an
A $ $
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Honey, first of all these are not solely your jobs to do and you shouldn’t ask for help to do them. Asking for him to help you just insinuates that these are your responsibilities and he is merely a helper. No no no. You work and he works so everything else needs to be split 50/50. Sit down and talk to him and tell him that things are changing and if he isn’t on board then it’s time to go separate ways. Make a list of absolutely everything that needs to get done daily, weekly and monthly. Sit down with him and split them up and have them specifically assigned to one of you.
This will be the test to see if he can or is willing to pull his weight. Right now, you are acting like his mom. You don’t need another child, you need a partner.
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Why do women go out and move in with a man when you aren’t married to them and have their babies on top of that, have you never heard that when they can get the milk without buying the cow then why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, that’s and old saying but it’s true, now days it’s hard to find a good man, I learned a long time ago, know a man before you give him your everything, he probably will never change so move on with your child and your life…
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Is he 12? Cause it sounds like you’re his mama instead of his partner. Good luck with that.
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Why do YOU have to pay for daycare? Why isn’t he providing more financially? He will not change. Do not move to another home with him and do not have more kids with him!
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You don’t need him. Your doing everything alone and smashing it. Fuck him off move in alone with baba, he’s adding extra stress and no help
Your need to leave him.
Sounds like he brings nothing to the household willingly.
Kick him to the curb!
You already have been a single mom for all this time.
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Omg IM GOING THRU THE SAME THING BUT WITH TWO BABIES!!!
Hun your a mother of two . Tell him to go live with his parents for a couple of days since he wants to act like a child. I don’t know what’s up with men lately but it seems like they were raised to be coddled and useless. Don’t attack me I’ve seen this shit a thousand time even my own fucking husband is like this . Locked the door in my room and told him to sleep on the couch
Move with your daughter, and not him. He obviously is not mature enough to do things at home-laundry, cook a meal, even pick up takeout dinner for everyone. Jobs at home have to be done together, not you 99% and him 1% with an attitude. Split it 50-50%. You are working too hard at a job and at home while he sits and plays games.if he does not want to take off work to move keep his things where you are and go without him. He needs to grow up
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Do you have 2 children (one who is adult aged)? Sweet girl, you have to make your own choice here, but I think you already know what you want. An adult relationship has two people making it work… that’s looks different for each relationship (and that’s ok), but I’ll ask you if you are both trying to make a life together?
Best of luck as you figure out what is vest for you and yours!!
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It sounds like you are already “a single mom on your own”.
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It won’t change leave now unless you wanna raise him
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Throw the whole man away
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Sounds like you’re doing it on your own now, what do you need him for?? 
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Welcome to planet earth where the men think “going to work” is all they have to do.
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Get the fuck out now!!! You will be so much better off. I swear your utility bills will drop, your food bill will drop, you’ll have less work around the house…it gets soooooo much better when tou drop the dead weight. You’ll even feel soooo much better.
You already know what you need to do. LEAVE HIM. Then take him to court for child support and see how he likes it then.
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Girl you already know the answer that you’re looking for. I’m sorry to be negative Nancy but he ain’t changing. Move with JUST you and your baby. You’re already doing it on your own, why do you feel like you even need him at this point? Best of luck to you and that sweet baby!!
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Sounds like he is a leech….let him go and continue to do what’s best for you and your kid. Can you afford the townhouse without him? If yes then move in by yourself w your child. Good luck mama!
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All this crap and your still considering moving with him again, you sound like so many others, your in love with an idea of a life you want as opposed to the person your with…just being brutally honest that’s what friends do…G T F O !!!
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You already know the answer get rid of him you do it all yourself
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I trained my hubby ( lol) by a white board on the wall Morning chores & evening chores… with a check by the chore when complete… and stated these have to be completely done by bedtime… took about a month
That was 37 years ago, pleased to say we have a great marriage and raised 3 wonderful sons, now my son & DIL share duties also
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Sometimes you need to really be on your own to help you see that you’ve already been doing it on your own and you’ll be fine.
I think he definitely needs this wake up call that you have more needs as a partner or you’d rather just be single. Some guys think that’s all women prioritize.
If it were me I’d start with saying I feel like I’m single and if I’m single I’ve mapped out what your responsibility to your child would be if we shared joint custody and providing 50/50.
Start asking/requiring whatever that break down is. Since what’s yours is yours and what’s his is his right?
If he can start making changes and understanding how he’s been riding on putting most of the burden on you as far as the baby, then you have hope that he will make changes for you as a partner who wants to be a family and do things jointly. If he acts worse then hopefully you’ll see it’s time to go.
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You need to sit him down and tell him your not a single mom if your gonna have to do everything and pay for everything then he can just leave bc your doing it all anyways. Tell him everything you told us on this post and tell him your serious and if things don’t change you can just do it all yourself for real. Quit letting him get away with all that shit and even if you have to keep telling him until he gets the point then do it. But be prepared that he might say he don’t care he is doing shit. You might have to tell him your leaving to get him to understand how serious you are. Goodluck
From your story it’s just YOU that takes care of everything and him a drag. You know the answer. You are ALONE gather yourself and take the courage to live stress free.
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He’s only with you so he doesn’t have to pay child support. Sorry to be so blunt. Seriously, give yourself snd your baby the more. You both deserve to be love
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Couldn’t finish reading you need to get rid of him. You are already doing everything on your own you don’t need him
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Get rid of the dead weight. He needs to step up not live for free. What is he bringing to the relationship? He’s a parent and some stuff he should know. Tell him what you need and tell what’s going to happen and if can’t be a partner he needs to find other places
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Write out the bill. All of them. Write out things that need to be done. Tell him pick half. If he don’t follow through. You know what you have to do. I wasted 26 years a on someone who did only what he felt like. And I suffered. Bad. And was so bitter when I left. Took six years after to find myself. He failed me as a husband. It wasn’t a we relationship. I now have a we relationship for the first time. Amazing 57 years old finally in a we relationship. Even if he cooks on bbq and I get the fixings ready. He says. We did it. We we we. Amazing life let me tell you! Good luck. Hug S
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Leopards don’t change their spots
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File for child support
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You’re raising 2 children. One of them you aren’t legally obligated to do anything for. Spell out exactly what you expect him to contribute mentally, financially and physically. He should be a contributing partner. Then let him know that if he can’t contribute as a partner and if you’re doing it all yourself anyway then you don’t need him around.
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Girl, you have 2 kids. Pack up your and your babies things and move them to the new place and leave him and his crap behind
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He sounds like he doesn’t have his child out of him yet!! That’s ridiculous I know men normally don’t do as much as the woman/mother but to have to ask him to do EVERYTHING? GET YOU A REAL MAN BECAUSE HE SOUNDS LIKE A BOY (not meaning this to sound mean just being blunt)
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I understand the frustration. It depends on how old you are, but I will say that guys take longer to mature, & most of the time we’re the ones that are worried about the fine details. Most guys would be content as long as they had a roof over their head, one chair, & a TV. Living with anyone is never easy, but if you want things done a certain way, you need to communicate with him. Should he automatically do things for you & the kid? Absolutely! But some people have to be asked or told that help is needed.
With that being said, is he not paying for things, or do you continue to tell him no when he asks if you want him to pay for something? Because it sounds like you just don’t want to hear him complain, which I understand. But just remind him that the kid you have is together, you didn’t just magically make a baby without him.
I’d honestly sit him down & tell him what you want precisely from him. He can’t change if you don’t tell him what he’s doing wrong, & how to fix it.
Now if he continues to do this to you, I would not blame you at all for calling it quits after your lease is up. Wishing you the best. 
If y’all live together why are t your combining your money and paying everything together? Or if you want to keep your money separate everyone should pay half. I wouldn’t want to do it that way but some people do. And he should be helping care for your daughter too. She’s also his kid.
Get rid of him find out who u are before going to another relationship make a list of what you can deal with and what you can’t deal with your the Queen now find ur King
Throw the whole man away.
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Sounds like you’ll be raising two kids.
Send him packing back to his mom and file for CHILD SUPPORT !
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Explain to him you feel like a single mom because he doesn’t help out or help pay for anything without being asked and things need to change or you are going to consider leaving cuz yeah not much would change sounds like. You’d probably qualify for childcare assistance if you weren’t with him and food stamps and WIC
Sounds like you’re doing everything for yourself and your kid already so drop him he sounds like just another headache
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I wouldn’t be moving anywhere with him. He is basically a second child. You don’t need him. Kick him to the curb.
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Why are you wasting your time? If he is doing these things on a daily, why bother with him? I don’t understand the need for advice. He disrespects you so leave. If you’re doing it all yourself, then leave and do it all FOR yourself.
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Leave. You sound single to me. Better off having the courts make sure his child is taken care of by him. He is the way he is because you allow it.
Get out take the kid
You are on your own you just haven’t realized it yet.
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It’s so much easier single and on your own. It’s pretty much the same without that extra mouth to feed or clean up after.
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Sounds like you have 2 children… Anyway also sounds like you can hold your own… Don’t move in with him… Make the move on your own, just you and your daughter… File for cs but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t comply… which is ok cuz you’re basically making it on your own already… Best of luck to you and your baby!
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You can’t be in love with a man like that! Dump him
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Sometimes you do have to tell him, but that’s ridiculous. Get a routine for him. He does such and such chore each day, he pays such and such bill every month… he pays HALF THE CHILDCARE!!! Everything with the kid should be 50/50.
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I wouldn’t stay with him. Lease is up take the chance and leave. You ate doing everything now on your own. Just break the cycle and live without him. Kids adapt so you already know your answer. Hugs and good luck.
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Since he treats you like a single mom make him pay you child support every week. He isn’t going to change and the new place isn’t going to make things any better. He should be paying 50% of everything for your child so each week give him a bill for 50% of everything you paid for.
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I’m sorry but that’s a boy, not a man. Ughh how annoying! You’re pretty much doing everything a single mum does anyway so why not make it official. He’s just in the way and holding u back.
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I wonder if he was a lazy bum before you got pregnant. And I say this as someone who was duped. Before kids, he was kind and doting. After kids, he became an a$$, so I took my kids and left. If I’m gonna do it all alone with someone, I may as well not harbor anger and just do it alone. Then I met the guy in the pic…
That’s not a relationship. You’re doing everything on your own you may as well file for child support. It may be because he’s young and wasn’t taught how to take care of a family he made himself. If he’s willing to go to couples therapy that may help be he needs a role model to show him the ropes or he’s going to lose a good woman. But income in a relationship needs to be both of yours not a his her thing. If you stay he needs to have these things, he’s a family man now he needs to act like it.
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Stop doing 90% if he only gives you 10%. Meet him halfway. So if he does 10% you do 10% then he can see what’s left and be forced to figure it out. Or leave him. This sounds very toxic.
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Write out ALL the bills. Sit him down and tell him he owes half. That is not JUST your kid, that is not JUST your house. He pays HALF or he gets out. Write down what the kid needs. He does half or he gets out.
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It’s probably better to be a single parent than dealing with someone who is like this. It probably won’t get better and worse is that the day u move he isn’t willing to help u move if it’s not a day he’s off. Best bet is if ur doing it alone it probably best not to add him to the lease and take care of ur daughter
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Get to know people before you procreate.
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U r his sugar momma n he is enjoying it stop n I bet he will pack n leave never get a house with someone u r not married to.
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These are all helpful comments. Wish I
had these people to give me help on how to handle my issues. Nope not back then! I feel your pain. Listen to these comments. Good Luck! Been there.
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Stop doing it all. He wants dinner? He can cook it himself. He wants clean clothes? He can do a load of his own laundry. He needs electricity? We’ll I guess he better find out how much the bill is, get the money together & call CMP to pay it. He looking for his things that were packed up? I guess he better start unpacking boxes. Your child is crying because they’re tired? Then I guess he better pick them up & rock them to sleep. I’ve found with my own husband that he doesn’t listen to a single thing that I say. Everything that I say goes in one ear & out the other. They don’t think we do shit, we’ll then I guess I’m really gonna start not doing shit. Then they’ll see just how much we really do n how much responsibility that is on us all the time. They are grown ass men, it’s time they start acting like one. We are their wife’s, not their Mothers.
Get out of this relationship. Get child support. A guy this selfish will NEVER put u 1st & u deserve to be!!!
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Men aren’t socialized to do anything but bring home a paycheck. You’ll have to spell it out for him. Write out all the chores & divvy them up—he gets to take half, and the yucky ones (cleaning toilets, changing diapers, getting up on the middle of the night, taking off work to care for a sick baby) are divided up equally. If he doesn’t do them they won’t get done—let them pile up—and then if it gets worse, you only do your chores for yourself and baby. If he wants a fresh start, have him pay for a one-time maid service.
Leave for a while—a couple of days, ideally, and leave him to take care of all the house and the child.
Yes, you have to be specific about what he has to do. Let him whine. Make a chart and put gold stars for everything accomplished (1/2 star for a half-assed job, but don’t expect perfection, and if he does it differently from you, it’s OK). Rewards for completely accomplishing 80-100% of all assigned tasks in a week. Pizza, screen time, picking the movie/video, choice of take-out on Friday—whatever works for y’all. Add in chores for the little one as she/he is able.
Do this with household expenses too. Not sure how y’all divvy up the mortgage/rent, but divide up the total household expenses by percentage earned. Figure out if you make 40% of household income and he makes 60% then you pay for 40% of expenses and he pays 60%. Divvy up the bills & costs so it comes out like that. E.g. my husband paid the mortgage and I paid everything else; we bought our own personal stuff and had separate bank accounts.
Couples counseling is always a good idea before you throw in the towel. Be sure you see all bank statements, paychecks etc. So you know where all the money is going. Don’t tell him if you want a divorce if that’s what you ultimately decide.
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Grammar is absolutely horrible
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Resolve your codependency and stop enabling this degenerate fuck.
honey pack up and leave.
u will have such a better life without him .
he has nothing to offer and never will .
i can do it alone.
you may even meet a true man who treats u the way u deserve and ur child will get the father it deserves,
the man child ur with will disappear into the background and you probs won’t ever hear from him again.
do you and your little one a favour and go while ur both still young
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SORRY SWEETIE BUT YOU PICKED THE WRONG GUY TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH…
Even before you got pregnant you must have noticed he was lazy and didnt contribute much unless you werent together very long before the baby came…
because once tbe baby arrived he got worse
Whos name is on the lease if its both of you you are stuck for what 6 months until its due
If you think he is going to change for you the answer is …NO…
He would be a great dad if he wanted to be but he isnt is he and all the time in tbe world isnt going to change that
What you have is a dud…who whines and complains
He doesnt like to spend money on either of you why…because he is selfish and inconsiderate
He would rather spend his time on his phone instead of enteracting
So put money aside every month so you can find your own place
and when the lease is due and you have another pkace to move into just leave
While he is at work pack everything up and leave …move forward and dont look back
Unfortuneately he is the wrong guy for you some relationships arent meant to be and this is one of them
Work on improving your own life only you can make yourself happy
All you can do is put up with it for now…and just before you leave voice how you wish things could be different…and how you arent happy
And then tell the landlord the month before moving that you wont be renewing the lease but you don’t know if he will because you are leaving him
Good luck in your future
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This relationship isn’t going to last. Many men think the way he does. Accept it or leave it.
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You already are a single mom. With two kids it appears.
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I’d be packing my and my child’s things to move and it wouldn’t be to move into a town house with him. He’d be on his own.
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And you shouldn’t move in together and probably separate
Don’t tell him to do something ask him to do it…like baby can you feed the baby while I do the dishes? I seem to get better results when I ask for his help than telling my husband of 42 years. Just try it
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Was he the baby of the family? And did his mom do everything for him?
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just be a single mom. it doesn’t get better. boys don’t want to be dads.
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Put him out or leave. You do not need a lazy, grumpy, person who does nothing to help. You can buy a blow up doll with an angry recording to replace him.
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If you’re on the lease and he’s not, kick em out. You’re better off without him. Get you an attorney, I’m sure they have legal aid in your area (idk). And file for child support.
I’m glad I had the chance to leave whenever my ex and I split up and I was 5 mo pregnant. It is very hard being a single parent, but it’s worth it in the long run. Keep your chin up❤️
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