Just needing to vent

Nothing is stopping his mother, either. I was in sort of the same place as your kids, and I never did understand.

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File for a raise in child support it’s pretty much a guarantee he’ll show up in court then have your lawyer ask him why he has not bothered to see his children

Give it up. Don’t force it to happen. You’ll only make things worse by doing that and feeling the way you’re feeling. He won’t change and when he does come around, hopefully they’ll be older and more mature to handle it. Where as now, they wouldn’t be.

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Sometimes, it’s best he stay away then ruining their life being in it.

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I was in your kids situation in a way (never knew who my dad was and when I finally did at 15 he still didn’t want anything to do with me) but as I got older I realized all I ever needed was my mom and that was the universe’s way of letting me know that my mom was and is great enough to fill both parent rolls. I’m a mother now and I don’t know how any parent could not want anything to do with their kids, but at the end of the day all your kids will ever need it you💙

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My dad’s a piece of shit, if it wasn’t for my stepdad I wouldn’t have had a dad. My kids dad he’s a piece of shit in and out of jail high on meth and with some new dope whore
Don’t feel bad now about the past you can’t change it at all
Try to stress to them it’s his loss really and one day they’ll be able to decide if he’s for them or not. I’m sorry that’s a tough situation. But maybe it’s a blessing he isn’t in their lives. Maybe they don’t have to suffer his stupidity :joy: sending good vibes Mama

Maybe they are better off without him; doesn’t sound like the daddy type!

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He’s a jerk! He does not have anything to do with them, when he’s old, sick they won’t have time for him! That’s how it will turn out.

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Same site here. You just keep doing your best and one day those kids will know tbe truth and they will love you even more for being mom and dad. You’re right, they deserve to have their real dad in their life but if he won’t be their there’s nothing you can do. They deserve consistency and unconditionally love. If he can’t give then that then he didn’t deserve them in his life. Some men are just worthless and nothing you can do will ever change the type of man he is.

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Similar situation, it took my ex husband wanting to be around on his own before he came around. I will also mention that he has an amazing 16 year old with someone else (I’m now good friends with her) and he still has nothing to do with his oldest, despite coming back into our 3 girls lives a few years back. It’s sad, but it is what it is honestly. There is no way to force someone to want to parent their kids.

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And to me either especially get remarried and have more kids without taking care of the first kids but whatever they are better off trust me u can’t force someone to love and care
my boys are better off they are loved and always cared for as yours are

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You have done what you need to. Just let it go. It sucks I get it. My oldest daughter didn’t have her dad in her life. We divorced when she was in 2nd grade. Then he picked his gf over her and she never went back to his house. She is now 27 yrs old, got her nursing degree and has her own house. Just keep raising them and keeping them safe.

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I told my boys when he’s old and in need you both are not obligated to help the loser feel no guilt cuz he never lifted a finger to help you do not let him guilt you cuz they always seem to come back when they need assistance

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Been there for first baby daddy. Total loser move. Left me with a new born baby to raise on my own with never a dime of any form if child support. I use to sit and wonder the same thing. There was never an answer. Only thing I could think of was I met the wrong guy, not a man, the wrong boy. One day I focus on just me and baby. Started my own company from scratch. When hardtimes hit, because I had no finance but enough to buy baby formula only, it made me think how to work from home. Im not a big religious person but I still believe in the almighty JC. I think as our heavenly father he knew exactly what I am capable of and he new he had to get rid of all the bad things in my life so I can work on me and baby. I kept my answer easy, stress less, and tried my best not to blame myself for some guy who wanted nothing to do with me and my baby. Today 14 years later, doing so much better. I have the most wonderful husband who cares for me and my boy. Even helps care for my parents. GOD knows what’s he’s doing. Yiu just have to believe in his plan.

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Best to let sleeping dogs lie as they say. Forcing the issue never works. This guy has other issues

Hunni
He doesn’t deserve the title of dad
Honestly
Your kids are better off not knowing him or his family

Raise your cubs as a single mother
Go to court and ask for any rights he thinks eventually
To terminated

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It can’t. How could you possibly relate? Your a parent and you take the role seriously, don’t try to understand him it’ll just do your head in.

Expand your definition of family to those who love you and treat you right. Stop trying with the a-hole it’s not worth the energy.

Count your blessings aloud with your kids every day. I’ll bet you have a roof over your head, running hot and cold water, indoor plumbing, freedom of religion (so far), free public school, clothes to wear and food to eat, even if it’s not always the kind you’d like. Not everyone has that. Plus your kids have a loving mom & your family in y’all’s lives. Some kids have no one.

Invite trusted men into your childrens’ lives. Get therapy for everyone. Enjoy each other. Seek our joy in your lives, get outside to enjoy nature as much as possible, make lots of friends and spend time with them.

Single parents raise wonderful children by themselves every day and so can you. Sending hugs, good cheer & whatever support can come through the Internet.

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Hell would freeze over before I contact him or any of his family

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I’d stop teaching them a sperm donor is a “real” father or a dad.

I’am making over $127 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 17950 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

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Idk how this is so easy for them :unamused:

You can’t force someone to be a parent. Count your blessings that he pays the child support at least.

Never let your kids feel like they missed out. They know who loves them and who is there for them. He missed out on all the blessings.

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If he provides monetary support for those children, he is a step up from what many women are dealing with. He may emotionally unavailable and incapable of better.

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Some men don’t caring about having kids and others do… it nice know that you have tried to keep their dad in their lives. There are some woman that will use the kids against the father or just try to keep him away from his kids… we need more good women out their like you.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Just needing to vent

Something new is always scary. You got this mama

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Just do the best you can. That’s all you can do.

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focus on you’re inner strength and you will be surprised at how strong you actually are❤

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BREATHE! You can only do so much. One foot in front of the other…hold on to the rail if you need to… one step…one day at a day at a time. Prioritize…do not turn down help…do not be afraid to ask for help… and rely on your faith.

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Everyone will be ok as long as you are!!! You will love it and everyone will adjust :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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You are strong, fearless and us mumas can do anything… just take it day by day… :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Kids are incredibly resilient. If you seem ok about this next move, they will too. They generally take the lead of the adults in their lives. However I’m worried about you… do you have support? If your husband’s condition gets worse, do you have a next step in place? It might not hurt you to run through these scenarios in your mind and make some outcomes… should things change. You are so very brave. Please take time for you when the time comes for that to happen.

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You will soon find out just how strong you are and it is scary but you will do it because you have to

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You got this girl :heart:

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Just hang on you’ll do great life is tuff gotta get better praying for you

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Sign him up for disability

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You can do it. Take one day at a time, one obstacle at a time. I’m so sorry for your situation. It’s overwhelming! Please keep us posted on how it’s all going.

Know that you are loved. God loves you and would not desert you. You sound like you are depressed by your curtent circumstances. I would suggest some counseling. Some places charge according to your income.God Bless You and your family.

Ah, but what if you succeed?
I know things seem overwhelming. My daughter recently found herself in the same situation, with 18 month old twins & a 7 year old stepdaughter. It’s a lot to take in & worry about. I get it.

However, if you speak success upon yourself, it will change the whole course of things. Your house may be messier, but it will be ok. Your bills might fall a bit behind, but again, it will be ok.
Your son might have a change in routine, but you will be showing him that everyone pitches in to help the family when the going gets tough. What a great lesson!

Find better doctors for your husband. They work for him, so demand better. If you can’t find new doctors, go over their heads to get their attention (speak to medical board, speak to insurance company, speak to hospital administration). Do lots of research on his ailments & call doctors out on their non treatment.

Moms jobs are extremely hard. But set your mind right, & go conquer this!

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You are a strong woman, you got this! I know it’s easier said than done but try to focus on your job and try not to worry.

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Wishing you all the greatness that you deserve. We’ll all believe in you until you believe in yourself. You got this!

Suck it up buttercup. hang in there

Take one day at a time. Do what you can at your best. That is all you can do. :heart: You will be ok.

I’m praying for you. Just give it all to God and do your best,He will guide your footsteps and take care of you and your family. You are much stronger then you believe, look at all you have already overcome. Just step out.God will have you. God bless your family.

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Have some confidence in yourself! You can do it, just set your mind to it! If you think failure you will fail. Things will be different but that is ok! Good luck😊

You won’t fail .you are a strong amazing woman .you got this

Ahhh… but what if you fly??? You got this…

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There is help out there.
If you’re unhappy with your Drs services…change Drs.
There are all sorts on benefits youll be able to claim…head to your citizens advice and they will help . If your husbands health is bad he may not be able to look after your child properly so better to claim whatever benefits you’re both entitled to and maybe work part-time.

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Turn you worries over to God he will help you through all …God bless you.

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Put on your big girl panties and get the “I can do it” mind set. That’s how I did it. It’s not easy, and sometimes I just want to cry (when i dont get sleep) but, you can do it.

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I’am making over $138 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18431 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

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Honey as long as you try you can’t fail🥰

I Get Paid 0ver $ 107 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 12849 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The p0ssibility with this is limitless.

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This is literally my biggest fear. I don’t know that I could ever depend on someone financially because I always have the what ifs in my head. However, from a working mom’s perspective, I have very much faith that you will succeed!!:raised_hands::pray::heart:

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Your a warrior!! Believe in yourself!! Go out into the world and own it!:heart::heart: I wish you victory and blessings!!

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Wishing you great luck and last ask the Lord for help he’ll help you

I Get Paid 0ver $ 107 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 12623 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The p0ssibility with this is limitless.

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He should apply for SS if he can no longer work. Change Drs - one MUST be their own advocate!! Best of luck!!

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I’am making over $195 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18425 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

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You won’t fail, the love you have for you husband and child will give you the strength. I’m sorry that he is ill. Just stay strong.

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l get paid over $ 195 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18972 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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You can’t fail as long as you keep going.
Maybe this is exactly what your son needs, quality time with his Dad. Everything always has a way of working out as long as we believe it will. So shut that negativity down and start putting good thought out there. Prayers and positive vibes your way :raised_hands:

I know you can do it !! You can do this ! Find a physician that you are comfortable with for your or his health issues. Pray, pray :pray: prayers will be answered!

You have a village to help hold you up. What do you need?

I’am making over $138 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18431 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

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Blessings to you and your family

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Income wise you should be able to get widow’s benefits for you and survivors benefits for your son you should not have to work too much they do have an income limit to what you can earn so just make sure you know what that limit is so that you don’t go over it. When you go over that limit they take a dollar for every $2 that you make from the benefits so it doesn’t pay to work over that

You got this, you have to do what you need to do.

Will be praying for you and your family. You got this. God won’t let you fail.

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God won’t give you more than you can handle. Prayers

I had to go to work after 13 years of being a stay at home mom. It was hard at first but kids adjusted and I just kept putting one foot in front of the other every day. With GOD’s help and love I managed.You can do this!!! Put your husband and son in GOD’S hands and it will all fall into place.

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Prayers to give you strength.:two_hearts:

I know it will be tough on you. It will be scary. How is your husband’s insurance? Maybe you could get a visiting nurse or a health aide to look in on him while you’re at work. Maybe his insurance allows for him to change doctors. You don’t necessarily have to stay with the ones you have now. You can change to other ones. Explain how you were treated, and ask for help with his condition. As far as your son goes, are you able to get close with any of your neighbors or any parents of any of his friends. Could they take your son on some of the bad days or nights? A lot of times, churches can put you in touch with free financial assistance. The advisor can help you set up a budget and help navigate the bills and expenses. While you’re talking to the people at the church, ask them for spiritual support also. They can put your family on their prayer list. They can also involve your son in youth group if you want. That may be helpful for him. These are just some ideas. I hope they help. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Your husband can get disability and this will help with your income also.

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Please get him some assistance at DHHS or Social Security, it’ll help a great deal. Prayers

Take a breath and if possible you can get a work from home job

Its ok to be sad at times times, try to make some time for yourself. Hope your husband gets better!

You won’t fail!!! You are trying to make things better for your family and that means you aren’t failing! It’s nerves because changing your routine and family’s routine is sometimes scary. You got this!!! :mending_heart:

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Feeling sad is normal, things are changing. YOU GOT THIS! Time to step up and show YOURSELF just what a strong woman looks like! Everything will fall into place but you have to do one thing… Stop worrying and doubting yourself. STAY POSITIVE!

Maybe you’re worrying is part of the problem

Sorry but most of us have had to work for years!!!

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Your a wife and a mother therefore a warrior
YOU GOT THIS​:pray:t4::bangbang:

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I am unable to work, and qualified for social security disability. It takes 2 years to be eligible for Medicare after being approved for disability through social security, so I went on my husband’s insurance through his work when I had to leave my job & benefits behind. Now I am receiving benefits through Medicare, and they have all kinds of wellness checks & benefits & helpful information.

If your husband is unable to work, he needs to apply for social security disability. I don’t know your circumstances, but it can’t hurt to apply.

Also, check with your local DHS (department of human services) to see what benefits or programs that you and your family might be eligible for. Depending on the state and local resources, you might be eligible for assistance with housing & food & daycare. You might even be eligible for job search & educational benefits to help you be more successful at finding a career.

I know you are scared, and worried. You will overcome your fears as soon as you start taking control of the situation by moving forward, one step at a time. Rely on your faith and your church to help with spiritual & moral support.

When our kids were just 1 and 2 yrs old, I was laid off from my job. I was 30 yrs old, had worked since the age of 14, and had never had to rely on anyone else for help. My husband had been a hard worker, but his income alone was not enough for us to survive. I felt embarrassed and ashamed to go to the unemployment office. All of my friends and family encouraged me, explaining that I had worked hard for many years, and that these were benefits I had paid for, and earned. I didn’t have a choice … we had 2 babies to support, and I was determined to do whatever I needed to do to take care of my family. Once I was able to overcome my fear, I was able to move forward.

That was many years ago, but I remember the fear and the worry. I know how you feel. Rely on the programs & resources available to you, and try to stay positive. Your son will adjust, when he sees you adjusting and moving forward.

I wish you all the luck in the world, and I’m sending good vibes & prayers your way!

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Where are you located and what kind of docs do you need? Maybe someone here can recommend some.

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For his disability: Check out the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the Mayo Clinic, organizations that deal with niche diseases to find doctors who get it. Look into medical trials for experimental treatments for whatever ails your husband. Look into “medical mysteries” cases to see if anything sounds familiar. Sometimes it takes years and lots of different health care practitioners and research and chutzpah to find what you need, but don’t give up. If your husband can use a computer he can do a lot of research and advocating for himself.

For your mental health: Schedule joy just for you and for your family. You, your husband, and your son should individually spend time with friends having fun. Have cultural nights at home where you dress up, have food, drinks and movies/entertainment from another country. Learn a few words in that language. Have a dance party where hubs can shake whatever still works.

For your son: Kids are pretty adaptable. If dad can still show love and interact somehow with your son he’ll be OK. But you all should definitely be in support groups for people in your situation. Sometimes there are summer camps for kids of specific family situations so he can interact with other kids going through the same thing. Be part of a caregiver support group. Hubs should be part of a support group for whatever he has. Check out library books and movies about people who have triumphed over adversity for inspiration.

For your husband: Push the limits of your husband’s disability. Roll the wheelchair onto a tour boat, hit handicap hiking trails, go to park performances. Go camping. Find others in the same situation and have fun together. Have him participate in handicap and Paralympic sports teams. Find the limits of his new abilities. Have him do whatever he’s capable of to help the family, the community and the world. Let him make decisions and put him in control of whatever he can manage so he feels needed and useful. Maybe in charge of getting your son ready for school/daycare, homework help, teaching him chores and life skills, just listening to him to strengthen their bond. Maybe he could be in charge of menu planning and grocery lists, and learning to cook if he’s not into that already.

If needed, get antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs to get you & hubs through the tougher parts, as well as therapy to help you cope. Take up meditation, Tai chi, yoga (can be done seated or modified as needed), or progressive relaxation as a family. Be part of a spiritual community. My Unitarian Universalist church is intentionally welcoming to people with all sorts of disabilities and has activities and discussion groups. Is he able to read? Have him join a book group. My church has groups just for men in addition to several others. It’ll give him a social outlet and intellectual stimulation.

For your health: Take your vitamins, eat healthy, and get enough sleep. Plain yoghurt with granola, raisins, nuts, and/or chocolate chips; bagged or other prepared salads, fresh fruit, cheese sticks, cut vegetables and hummus or other dip, steamable bagged veggies (add leftover meat, fish, cheese, nuts, and/or seasoning if you want) are all quick, easy and healthy and make good snacks. I like Goya black bean soup over 90 second packs of microwaveable brown or white basmati rice for a dinner in 5 minutes. Nuke the soup, nuke the rice, pour soup over rice, squeeze lime juice on top & add some bits of fresh or dried onion. Fruit with whipped topping for dessert and you’re done.

Get some exercise. Follow a yoga or Tai chi or any kind of movement video, put on music and dance, take an exercise class of your choice, walk, run, do martial arts. Everyone can manage 10 minutes of something: sit ups, stretches, jumping jacks or jumping rope, mini trampoline, running in place, push ups on the floor or against a wall, yoga poses. Three 10-minute exercise breaks and you’ve done your recommended 30 minutes a day. It’ll keep you healthy, fit & give you more energy & make you happier. At work I always took the stairs and took a lunch I could eat while taking a walk on nice days. Some employee or health plans include gym or Rec center discounts.

As to a job: Think of work as a necessary evil where you can get away from your family stresses, drink all the coffee, tea or whatever you want (depending on the job), maybe occasionally free donuts or sandwiches even!, maybe make some friends or friendly acquaintances. Keep expectations low so you may be pleasantly surprised. Focus on the aspects of the job you like & consider the rest as payment for the fun parts and the money.

I used to even enjoy my commutes because I could escape into books on public transportation, have great conversations in carpools, or be free from demands and expectations as I sat in traffic and listened to whatever music I wanted.

And who knows? You may grow to enjoy your work, get promoted, find your niche, make great networking contacts to get a better job, and possibly have benefits that help!

Try not to worry about things that haven’t happened yet and take one day, hour, minute at a time.

Sending love and strength to you! :heart::muscle:

Beleive in yourself, you can do it. You are strong invincable You Are Woman.

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This gave me the push I needed, maybe it will help you.

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Sometimes we don’t know how strong we are till we are forced into uncomfortable situations. Change can be scary, but we can adapt when we need to.

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Remember God won’t give us anything we can’t handle

I’am making over $140 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18976 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

Chk This—>> https://dollarearningjob1404.pages.dev/

First of all, so sorry you’re dealing with all this at the same time. But, you can do this! You are just as capable of working and supporting your family and your child will be proud of you and fine!

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Pray God’s got you !!!

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Take a deep breath. Do not worry about the future. Deal with what’s in front of you now. Deal with each thing as it comes up. You got this.

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Why so negative, it will work out its up to you , Stay positive your doing the best you can … LOVE YOURSELF …

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You will not fail.Have Dr. Put him on disability. That will help with the bills. In the meantime try to get assistance with daycare and food stamps. Just accept help wherever it’s needed. If need be. Talk with insurance and get another doctor for husband.

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Have you applied for disability benefits for him

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You can do this and God bless you all​:pray::+1::us:

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Lady just take it a step at a time as you will be worried but you can do it have faith be positive. Your husband did it for you but now he is ill and needs you to take charge the kids will be fine as they sometimes understand more than what you think.

Ensure your husband healths is taken care of so that you both can stand as one to take care of your family.

It wont be easy but it is worth it!

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Many blessings wished for you and your family, I’m sorry this is happening !!