Don’t feel bad for your kids
They’re 12 and 14 and he’s never reached out sounds like a real POS . Live your life with your kids you love them always keep the line of communication open . Let them reach out when they’re older if they need
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Don’t even go there, you’ll stress yourself out. It sucks I know but it’s that family’s loss. They’re the one’s that have to live with that, they’re the ones that’ll have to answer to your son one day if they do come around in the future. You’re all they need 
that’s how I feel with my son’s father’s side of the family. They know who was always there.
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Are you remarried or in a relationship, if not, cut him out, and move on. When they turn 18, they can decide if they want contact or not.
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It’s hard to understand or comprehend how a parent can just ignore the existence of their child. The only thing I can tell you is that your children are probably better off with him not being involved in their lives. When they get older, they can decide if they want to try to have some sort of relationship with him.
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U Cannot make someone be a father to his kids, I’ve tried 4 years, wasting my time!!! I’ve always covered for their dad saying he loves them but he’s working alot!!! Children that are abandoned by their fathers have alot of anxiety n depression. I’ve gotten both of my kids into therapy. It’s a very hard situation!! Ur best bet is to have healthy relationships with other loving caring male role models:purple_heart:
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My dad did the same thing. Left me and my mom for another woman with 3 kids. We dont have a relationship to this day and im ok with it
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My dad did that! We had very limited contact (all his choice). He left me and my brothers and remarried someone who had no interest in kids. Very self centered the both of them! Absolutely insane that he expected to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I’d bet he’d skip just like my graduation and other important events in my life! That honor was my (step) dad and grandpa. They filled his absence
Anyway. I have no idea how someone drops their kids. 
There has to be something wrong with them!
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Let it go. Pray for your kids and your X . Do they have men in your family that can spend time with. There is Big Brothers. Sign then up for sports.
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My bio had the chance, the door was always open for him to see my siblings and myself. He never bothered. We were raised by my Dad, the man who stepped up and with my mom raised us. We also stayed in close contact with the bios family, my uncles, aunts, cousins and grands… HIS LOSS! Keep your kids in touch with their family, if that is possible.
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It is his loss not your kids’. He is a real piece of work. Don’t think about it anymore. Move on with your life. Be happy. Your kids are fine. If you’re happy, they will be happy too.
My father moved on from my life in my late teens… I am almost 27 now. Sometimes I wish I had a father who cared to set his pride and ego aside and apologize for (or acknowledge) his behavior.
I feel sorry for him that he doesnt get to know who I am anymore. But I don’t want to know the person who behaved the way he did, unless he has changed.
I am doing fine. I’ve learned to do a lot on my own, or have reached out to other people and Agent Google. Been through a lot of trial and error. I sought and found the help I needed.
My mom wasn’t doing okay for a very long while, but my brother and I are so proud of her for showing us real love and comfort and for being so strong. We would go over to my dad’s place for the entertainment, games, movies, electronics… Then scurry off to moms where we didnt even have internet or computers or cable for a long time, but that’s where the love was 100%. 
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Mine chose other women/friends/activities over me and my brother. Growing up I wished he was dead because at least dead people don’t have a choice. I am now so much better off without him. It took a long time to realize it wasn’t my fault. Make sure your kids know that it’s his loss, not theirs and not their fault.
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It’s a sad situation. He’ll be sorry someday. Then it will be too late.
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Those kids aren’t missing out on anything but trash!
Anyone who walks out on their spouse and children and just disappears is trash. Those kids are lucky! As for his family missing out, they’re also trash. Just because the father isn’t involved doesn’t mean his family can’t be involved. Especially if you have reached out to them and provided contact information for the kids and they chose not to utilize. It doesn’t sound like any of this is on you!
It’s their loss. But you know it hurts the children.
My son is eight, & his sperm donor has never wanted anything to do with him. I’ve tried & tried, but I finally gave up.
He doesn’t need any help contacting his children… you give your kids love enough for 10pm ……it’s his loss
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I thought I was missing out on my real dad growing up.
LMAO no, my real dad was the piece of shit abandoner he was my entire life. There was nothing real to discover, he had already showed me who he is.
Unfortunately your kids will come to the same conclusion eventually. I know it sucks for you to watch, all you can do is be there for them though. You can’t make him be a dad.
If his family wanted to be involved they could, without him. Sometimes it’s better to be without 2 parents.
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I’m a child of a man who doesn’t  acknowledge my existence. He didn’t turn up for a paternity tests. Failed to pay any child support.
I went through life wondering why I’m not good enough cause he’s got other kids.
Your kids will understand one day; they’ll do better for their kids. They’ll see mum showed up and filled both shoes.
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Unfortunately you can’t make someone do the right thing. You just need to be there for your kids. If you have a father figure for them then I think you’re doing right by your kids.
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They get enough love from you , Dont need a Dad like that its his lose, The funny thing is when they have grown into adults they step up then … That happened with my grandson years ago when little he never came never payed just promeses that never happened , Then when he turned 19 Back in the picture an has been there ever since an hes 43 now …An hes really hasnt changed , But they are fine with him …LIFE THROWS US CURVE BALLS AN WE GET THROUGH YOULL BE FINE AN THEY WILL AS WELL … XXX Al 
lthe best
There is no explanation for his behavior. You need to realize that this is actually better then having them deal with him. Better things are on their way to your kids. They will do far better without him.
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I never knew my dad and it’s not easy!
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Sometimes it is for the best.
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Oh girl im 31 now. He washed his hands os me. I just tell my kids my dad is dead
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I’m 42 this year I’ve seen my father only a handful of times… No birthday, cards no Christmas presents etc like you my mother always kept a line of communication open and my father always knew where he could go to get my address or find out where I was (my mother married a military man and we moved all over the world) Im not going lie it did effect me for many years, I often wondered why I wasn’t good enough and like you I will never understand how’s or the why’s and I guess I will always feel slightly resentful towards my “father” for what I see as abandoning me but I know my mum and dad (my stepfather) love me with all their hearts and to this day they would still do anything for me and compared to what many other people have for a family I am very blessed to have mine… I know its hard but you will never have the answers and its natural for to to feel bad for your children… Its a terrible shame on them and they don’t deserve to feel any type of way but unfortunately you can’t change it, all you can do is love those kids and teach them that it’s not their fault as long as they know they are good enough for anything and anyone they’ll be okay…
Good luck 
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What did you do to him that made him X out you and your kids out of his life?
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In a similar situation. Hope he comes around before it’s too late. I just can’t understand how you can have grrandkids and not be at least curious.
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It is definitely his loss. 
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Nothing is stopping his mother, either. I was in sort of the same place as your kids, and I never did understand.
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File for a raise in child support it’s pretty much a guarantee he’ll show up in court then have your lawyer ask him why he has not bothered to see his children
Give it up. Don’t force it to happen. You’ll only make things worse by doing that and feeling the way you’re feeling. He won’t change and when he does come around, hopefully they’ll be older and more mature to handle it. Where as now, they wouldn’t be.
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Sometimes, it’s best he stay away then ruining their life being in it.
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I was in your kids situation in a way (never knew who my dad was and when I finally did at 15 he still didn’t want anything to do with me) but as I got older I realized all I ever needed was my mom and that was the universe’s way of letting me know that my mom was and is great enough to fill both parent rolls. I’m a mother now and I don’t know how any parent could not want anything to do with their kids, but at the end of the day all your kids will ever need it you💙
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My dad’s a piece of shit, if it wasn’t for my stepdad I wouldn’t have had a dad. My kids dad he’s a piece of shit in and out of jail high on meth and with some new dope whore
Don’t feel bad now about the past you can’t change it at all
Try to stress to them it’s his loss really and one day they’ll be able to decide if he’s for them or not. I’m sorry that’s a tough situation. But maybe it’s a blessing he isn’t in their lives. Maybe they don’t have to suffer his stupidity 
sending good vibes Mama
Maybe they are better off without him; doesn’t sound like the daddy type!
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He’s a jerk! He does not have anything to do with them, when he’s old, sick they won’t have time for him! That’s how it will turn out.
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Same site here. You just keep doing your best and one day those kids will know tbe truth and they will love you even more for being mom and dad. You’re right, they deserve to have their real dad in their life but if he won’t be their there’s nothing you can do. They deserve consistency and unconditionally love. If he can’t give then that then he didn’t deserve them in his life. Some men are just worthless and nothing you can do will ever change the type of man he is.
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Similar situation, it took my ex husband wanting to be around on his own before he came around. I will also mention that he has an amazing 16 year old with someone else (I’m now good friends with her) and he still has nothing to do with his oldest, despite coming back into our 3 girls lives a few years back. It’s sad, but it is what it is honestly. There is no way to force someone to want to parent their kids.
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And to me either especially get remarried and have more kids without taking care of the first kids but whatever they are better off trust me u can’t force someone to love and care
my boys are better off they are loved and always cared for as yours are
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You have done what you need to. Just let it go. It sucks I get it. My oldest daughter didn’t have her dad in her life. We divorced when she was in 2nd grade. Then he picked his gf over her and she never went back to his house. She is now 27 yrs old, got her nursing degree and has her own house. Just keep raising them and keeping them safe.
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I told my boys when he’s old and in need you both are not obligated to help the loser feel no guilt cuz he never lifted a finger to help you do not let him guilt you cuz they always seem to come back when they need assistance
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Been there for first baby daddy. Total loser move. Left me with a new born baby to raise on my own with never a dime of any form if child support. I use to sit and wonder the same thing. There was never an answer. Only thing I could think of was I met the wrong guy, not a man, the wrong boy. One day I focus on just me and baby. Started my own company from scratch. When hardtimes hit, because I had no finance but enough to buy baby formula only, it made me think how to work from home. Im not a big religious person but I still believe in the almighty JC. I think as our heavenly father he knew exactly what I am capable of and he new he had to get rid of all the bad things in my life so I can work on me and baby. I kept my answer easy, stress less, and tried my best not to blame myself for some guy who wanted nothing to do with me and my baby. Today 14 years later, doing so much better. I have the most wonderful husband who cares for me and my boy. Even helps care for my parents. GOD knows what’s he’s doing. Yiu just have to believe in his plan.
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Best to let sleeping dogs lie as they say. Forcing the issue never works. This guy has other issues
Hunni
He doesn’t deserve the title of dad
Honestly
Your kids are better off not knowing him or his family
Raise your cubs as a single mother
Go to court and ask for any rights he thinks eventually
To terminated
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It can’t. How could you possibly relate? Your a parent and you take the role seriously, don’t try to understand him it’ll just do your head in.
Expand your definition of family to those who love you and treat you right. Stop trying with the a-hole it’s not worth the energy.
Count your blessings aloud with your kids every day. I’ll bet you have a roof over your head, running hot and cold water, indoor plumbing, freedom of religion (so far), free public school, clothes to wear and food to eat, even if it’s not always the kind you’d like. Not everyone has that. Plus your kids have a loving mom & your family in y’all’s lives. Some kids have no one.
Invite trusted men into your childrens’ lives. Get therapy for everyone. Enjoy each other. Seek our joy in your lives, get outside to enjoy nature as much as possible, make lots of friends and spend time with them.
Single parents raise wonderful children by themselves every day and so can you. Sending hugs, good cheer & whatever support can come through the Internet.
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Hell would freeze over before I contact him or any of his family
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I’d stop teaching them a sperm donor is a “real” father or a dad.
I’am making over $127 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 17950 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless
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Idk how this is so easy for them 
You can’t force someone to be a parent. Count your blessings that he pays the child support at least.
Never let your kids feel like they missed out. They know who loves them and who is there for them. He missed out on all the blessings.
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If he provides monetary support for those children, he is a step up from what many women are dealing with. He may emotionally unavailable and incapable of better.
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Some men don’t caring about having kids and others do… it nice know that you have tried to keep their dad in their lives. There are some woman that will use the kids against the father or just try to keep him away from his kids… we need more good women out their like you.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/just-needing-to-vent/20077
Something new is always scary. You got this mama
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Just do the best you can. That’s all you can do.
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focus on you’re inner strength and you will be surprised at how strong you actually are❤
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BREATHE! You can only do so much. One foot in front of the other…hold on to the rail if you need to… one step…one day at a day at a time. Prioritize…do not turn down help…do not be afraid to ask for help… and rely on your faith.
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Everyone will be ok as long as you are!!! You will love it and everyone will adjust 
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You are strong, fearless and us mumas can do anything… just take it day by day…
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Kids are incredibly resilient. If you seem ok about this next move, they will too. They generally take the lead of the adults in their lives. However I’m worried about you… do you have support? If your husband’s condition gets worse, do you have a next step in place? It might not hurt you to run through these scenarios in your mind and make some outcomes… should things change. You are so very brave. Please take time for you when the time comes for that to happen.
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You will soon find out just how strong you are and it is scary but you will do it because you have to
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You got this girl
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Just hang on you’ll do great life is tuff gotta get better praying for you
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Sign him up for disability
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You can do it. Take one day at a time, one obstacle at a time. I’m so sorry for your situation. It’s overwhelming! Please keep us posted on how it’s all going.
Know that you are loved. God loves you and would not desert you. You sound like you are depressed by your curtent circumstances. I would suggest some counseling. Some places charge according to your income.God Bless You and your family.
Ah, but what if you succeed?
I know things seem overwhelming. My daughter recently found herself in the same situation, with 18 month old twins & a 7 year old stepdaughter. It’s a lot to take in & worry about. I get it.
However, if you speak success upon yourself, it will change the whole course of things. Your house may be messier, but it will be ok. Your bills might fall a bit behind, but again, it will be ok.
Your son might have a change in routine, but you will be showing him that everyone pitches in to help the family when the going gets tough. What a great lesson!
Find better doctors for your husband. They work for him, so demand better. If you can’t find new doctors, go over their heads to get their attention (speak to medical board, speak to insurance company, speak to hospital administration). Do lots of research on his ailments & call doctors out on their non treatment.
Moms jobs are extremely hard. But set your mind right, & go conquer this!
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You are a strong woman, you got this! I know it’s easier said than done but try to focus on your job and try not to worry.
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Wishing you all the greatness that you deserve. We’ll all believe in you until you believe in yourself. You got this!
Suck it up buttercup. hang in there
Take one day at a time. Do what you can at your best. That is all you can do. You will be ok.
I’m praying for you. Just give it all to God and do your best,He will guide your footsteps and take care of you and your family. You are much stronger then you believe, look at all you have already overcome. Just step out.God will have you. God bless your family.
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Have some confidence in yourself! You can do it, just set your mind to it! If you think failure you will fail. Things will be different but that is ok! Good luck😊
You won’t fail .you are a strong amazing woman .you got this
Ahhh… but what if you fly??? You got this…
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There is help out there.
If you’re unhappy with your Drs services…change Drs.
There are all sorts on benefits youll be able to claim…head to your citizens advice and they will help . If your husbands health is bad he may not be able to look after your child properly so better to claim whatever benefits you’re both entitled to and maybe work part-time.
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Turn you worries over to God he will help you through all …God bless you.
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Put on your big girl panties and get the “I can do it” mind set. That’s how I did it. It’s not easy, and sometimes I just want to cry (when i dont get sleep) but, you can do it.
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Honey as long as you try you can’t fail🥰
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This is literally my biggest fear. I don’t know that I could ever depend on someone financially because I always have the what ifs in my head. However, from a working mom’s perspective, I have very much faith that you will succeed!!
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Your a warrior!! Believe in yourself!! Go out into the world and own it! I wish you victory and blessings!!
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Wishing you great luck and last ask the Lord for help he’ll help you
I Get Paid 0ver $ 107 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 12623 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The p0ssibility with this is limitless.
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He should apply for SS if he can no longer work. Change Drs - one MUST be their own advocate!! Best of luck!!
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I’am making over $195 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18425 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless
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You won’t fail, the love you have for you husband and child will give you the strength. I’m sorry that he is ill. Just stay strong.
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l get paid over $ 195 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18972 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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You can’t fail as long as you keep going.
Maybe this is exactly what your son needs, quality time with his Dad. Everything always has a way of working out as long as we believe it will. So shut that negativity down and start putting good thought out there. Prayers and positive vibes your way
I know you can do it !! You can do this ! Find a physician that you are comfortable with for your or his health issues. Pray, pray prayers will be answered!
You have a village to help hold you up. What do you need?
I’am making over $138 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18431 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless
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Blessings to you and your family
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Income wise you should be able to get widow’s benefits for you and survivors benefits for your son you should not have to work too much they do have an income limit to what you can earn so just make sure you know what that limit is so that you don’t go over it. When you go over that limit they take a dollar for every $2 that you make from the benefits so it doesn’t pay to work over that
You got this, you have to do what you need to do.
Will be praying for you and your family. You got this. God won’t let you fail.
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