Legally what can my ex do?

Maybe you could meet with a lawyer with a free consultation. In the US we can’t even move out of state without other parents decisions unless the parent is unfit by a court. Good luck

Wow… and some of these comments are why I’m ashamed to be a woman at times! This is ONE side of the story and I know from experience it isn’t always the full truth. No parent has “rights”. Both parents have parental responsibility and the child has the right to be involved with both parents. Now I’m not saying anyone is lying, but without his side of the story, nobody knows what’s actually gone on. There are so many thousands of men trying to fight for their children as it is. This needs to be done the correct way, through mediation and if that doesn’t work, through court. Regardless of the relationship between the parents, it is wrong to take a child away from either one. That child is not property that you can do as you please with!

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He put you both on the street that won’t go good for him, document everything!

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You need to contact an attorney. You are not allowed to leave the country, and even after getting an attorney, if he dont agree to it, you still can’t. This is US information so it could be different in UK but definitely seek advice from an attorney before you make a move like that because I’m sure he can turn you in for kidnapping. But keep all of the messages from him. Keep a journal of his actions and words. It could help. My kids are teenagers and their father hasn’t seen them in years, his choice, but I’ve been informed that it i even want to move to a different state that I have to get his approval.

Unless the law has changed, you can’t take your child out of the country at all if he doesn’t want you to. Unless he’s not on the birth certificate. It’s extremely unlikely that they would ever consider giving him the baby at all. If you tell him when your leaving he can go to a lawyer and get you stopped from taking the child.

This is a question for a solicitor. Here in the US you could not take the baby out of the country without his permission.

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I’d see a solicitor, not sure you’d get legal aid due to it being used unnecessarily, but you’d get half an hour free… see what they’d be able to suggest, and help with because you may need to take him to court.

Seek professional legal advice.

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That can be considered kidnapping. Be smart & contact a lawyer.

You can do whatever you like and go wherever you like with your child, unless there is a court order (prohibited steps) that’s says you need his permission. And vice versa if you are both on the birth certificate, both of you can do as you please and no one can do a thing unless there is a court order, so he is just bullying you.
He would actually have to take you to court to get this, and there would need to be a good reason…. Keep all texts and a diary of all contact and conversations so that if he does take you to court, you are prepared and have good reason for moving to a different country. X

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You need a lawyer, not Face Book

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Contact a lawyer and find out your best course of legal action.

I suggest you speak to a solicitor/lawyer about your situation. It is partially dependent on your relationship with the father. If you were married he has legal parental responsibility and you cannot do anything without his consent. If you are not married he has no parental responsibility but can appeal to the court to ch age this if he did not want you to leave the country with the child. This is a helpful website. Abduction - childlawadvice.org.uk

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Document EVERYTHING ! No matter how trivial. Include dates & times what & he’s said. Trust me been there done that. Ultimately unless there is a court ordered visitation order in place not to much he can do tbh. I’d advise looking at applying for residency order which is what I have. It is then illegal even if he’s the dad to take the child from your care or not return child when told to. Ultimately you need to see a solicitor to check your options as I wasn’t married but if you are I imagine that changes things dramatically

I live in Australia (another commonwealth country) and you literally cannot move interstate with your child without permission from the courts in some situations. Let alone another country… Both parents have rights, and both parents have responsibilities.

I’d be inclined to contact a solicitor or lawyer. Getting advice in regards to this situation is probably not best to get from a group of keyboard experts that have absolutely no knowledge of UK Laws.

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Please get advice from a lawyer. Sometimes u can find a pro bono lawyer if u can’t afford one. Or if there are abused women’s agencies near where u live in the U.K., sometimes those places have free lawyers as well. I’m glad u and ur child are no longer with that psychopath. I wish u luck.

Unfortunately you can be accused of kidnapping it’s his child too, you need his permission to leave the USA just like if he leaves the USA too, get a attorney and ask for advice… tough call and good luck !! :cry::cry:

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I am from The US so I’m not sure about the UK. But I left my abusive partner we were not married so he had no legal rights to the kids and it was not considered kidnapping.

he abandoned you all so maybe you can try & get full custody & get his rights terminated.

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If your not in uk .go to british consulate …give you all rights .if uou and your child born in uk .come home not kidnapping

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Go to court and file for full custody, get a restraining order and let the judge know you are afraid for your safety and the safety of your child and let them know he threatened you. If he sent the threat in a text or message on Facebook or in an email or a voice message or voice thing on Facebook messenger show the judge that. I hope things work out for you.

He has to prove your an unfit mother. If he is the father he does have rights but it unlikely he will get custody if you can take care of the child or was abusive. Best to seek counsel before you leave country. Public defender can help.

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Change your name and the child and disappear. Unless he is very wealthy he will have problems finding you. Make new friends. Use cash only.

Contact a legal department. The fact he kicked you and the child out will work for you but not sure how much.

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You cant legally take the child out of the country. Get an attorney. He kicked you and the child out. You’ll have to fight for full custody but you still wont be able to go to another country if he has visitation with the child.

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You CAN legally take the child anywhere you want .unless there was a court order stating you couldn’t. …if he wants custody he will have to go to the courts to file a custody dispute and in turn you will both have to come up with a custody agreement .i know here in America tuer are states that are called mother states and they will do whatever they can to make sure the child stays with the mother yes he may get visitation or partial custody but unless he can prove you are unfit. And it takes a long time its a long process ive watched my ex go thru the same thing so the people saying fir sure you cannot take your child out if the Country need to get facts straight before scaring you .the only way you will have issues is if you have a custody arrangment stating you cannot leave the state or country .my ex husbands ex left the states with his son and he had no say so .she married another guy and wanted my husband to give up his rights so her husband could adopt him as his own and my husband wouldn’t do it .thats about the only control he has unless he fights and goes to court.so he is just trying to scare you and so are others on here.fin you an attorney and speak with them to ease your mind .i hope things work out for you

I’d have thought u can’t take a child born in the Uk to live in a different country without the fathers permission, especially if he’s on the birth certificate. Its the same as him taking your baby to live in a different country without your permission. You wouldn’t allow it. U need proper legal guidance if you’re going to do this. If u take the child away without permission it really won’t look good for you. That’s my opinion though, whether I’m right :woman_shrugging:t4: Patience and communication will be key, even if it is through the courts. Good luck

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Legally what can my ex do? - Mamas Uncut

so where is dad from.

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Do Ur self and baby well and go if it’s out the UK before he gets a court order which stops u going out the UK xxxx

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Do you have proof of the threat ? If so…take it to the police and get a lawyer. Because he has threatened to abduct the child he would probably still be allowed visits but supervised only I would think. Best option is the legal one …good luck

Get a no contact order on him for threats

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I don’t know the legalities, but I would take my child and go. If there’s no court order in place. Just don’t let his mum know anything, keep your plans to yourself

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I would speak with woman’s aid for advice.?(maybe they will help you set up a plan to get out the situation ) be very careful with what you tell him & the m.i.l. I wouldn’t let it be known j was going to leave until i’d gone x

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I mean. So he kicked u out, and u move to a different country? Legally he should file for rights. It’s his baby too. Just because you two didn’t work doesn’t mean he shouldn’t see his child?

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Sounds like he’s not worried for the child. I’d go if it will be a better life. If not… file for child support.

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Even though you are not living with him he could still be informed that you are leaving via m.i.l that could put you both at risk .
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/en/I-am-still-living-with-my-abuser

You need to just see lawyers in your country. We can’t help not knowing where you’re at and where he’s at specifically. Also if he’s threatening to kidnap the child so you will no longer see them then def get an order of protection asap.

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Prayers for you and your baby

Remember there is always 2 sides to every story and we only see the one side no need to jump to a restraining order or any of that you need to go to a court house and see exactly what you can do as the mother I believe you can’t leave the country with or without an order he can file kidnapping charges. (Trust me I know I went through it) and there was no order set so be careful

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Tech he can’t do anything unless you have a court order. Neither of you have custody of said child. The only thing he could do is see the child and leave with it and not return. Same as you. You file for custody where you’re at before he can file where he is

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As well as your own, you definitely need to think about the best interest for this child. Go down to your local court house or police station and have a chat with someone about the best course of action to take… you don’t want to rip a child away from their parent no matter the relationship between you two… that will only cause problems for everyone

If he kicked yall out, how could he even care about the baby…I would go back to my country and let him figure out how to see his kid, if he truly wants to…sounds to me like he is just threating you and has no plans to back it up.

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You need to do it legally. File for rights through the courts and explain you plan to move back home for the best interest of you and the child.

In Tennessee if y’all are not married you are technically only the legal parent, he has to go and file for rights, even if he’s on the birth certificate

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Not sure, where I am from it is illegally to take ur child out of the country away from their father. He could charge you with child abduction. Very well could lose child.

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If was me personally I’d be on next plane bk home ASAP. If he wants to see child he can hop on plane

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That baby is his too. Why do women try to take the baby from father?

Move back to your country and file the papers for child support or custody. He will then be forced to go by the laws in the UK.

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Find out what the family law for your country are and then take it from there.

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To be honest… Unless he’s well off… It would cost ALOT to get any kind of anything accomplished once your gone

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Simple if you have the statements of threats in text file for a protection order go down to women shelter they will get it done in less then 24 hours!!! Second if their is no custody order he can not do anything !!! Unless he can find you and Steve you with custody papers …. As long as you can avoid being served before you leave the states he can’t do a dang thing law enforcement can’t do anything unless their is proof of custody which by the sounds of it their isn’t you do not have to allow any contact at all but say you drop the baby off at day care he can pick the baby up and refuse to return !! Best advice run hide ASAP go where he can’t find you

Do not give a current address for protection order give the shelters address …… this will prevent being served ! You can call them to see if it was approved or denied and they can fax the order to you if approved :clap:t2:best advice run and hide and get out of town

Definitely get a paper trail started somehow because angry parents taking the baby is a story I’ve heard far too often. Protect yourself and the baby. Call your local courthouse and they will point you in the right direction! Don’t wait on this. You will be good as long as you’re actively trying to figure out how to do this the legally smart way. Good luck to you mama!

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Well i came back to my home country with my little girl, he bought the tickets and he was ok with that. We are still married, going through the divorce its important that you find a lawyer as there is international child support and some scenarios that can give you peace. If you are married in the other country then divorce and custody should be from there if it was in your country then it has to happen in your country. I only can give you these information as it depends on your specific situation. Keep all what you can proved he kicked you two out, thats neglect from his part. Dont be afraid to start international custody. Protect your child

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If your not married LEAVE he dosent care about baby he kicked yall out

  1. Are you married
  2. Is his name on the birth certificate.
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Dont ask Facebook just go straight to a lawyer!

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I’m from Texas. Not sure how it all works. But here whoever file for child support first is automatically granted custody. My son in law did this with my granbaby 2 yrs ago. He has had custody since the day he filed.

File for custody first. Keep all proof if he being violent or threatening you. If he is a good father he deserves to see his child.

What state did you come from? you did live in the same place for over six months prior too moving right?

I ask because a lot of men like that make threats that they don’t follow through with and in the states for the most part in each state if you’ve established residency in that state they have to go through the courts for that area not the courts for the area at the Baby used to live. If you can stay long enough in the UK depending on where you come from I would want to fact check it you may be able to file for custody there which will make it extremely complicated for him if that’s in the best interest of the baby.
He will get some type of custody, if he’s not abusive/unstable. You’ll likely be liable for half the travel cost too, if not more. I say this because you moved first. If you can show he left no choice and knew you were going, he’ll look like an idiot talking you. If he’s ever messaged about it, tell him you have proof (even if you don’t) he’s likely gonna back down if he thinks that.

Don’t tell anyone your plans including his mum.if she asks where u are off to,tell her the park and go see a lawyer.get everything done legally so u are protected.

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Not sure why you’re asking us for. Your situation is so complex. Get an attorney don’t let FB lawyers solve this for you.

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I would leave and let him get a lawyer to get us back…

If he kicked you out, Seek an International Attorney, and move in silence

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In Canada unless there is a court order in place either parent doesn’t have custody mind you kids usually stay with their moms as long as the father can drive or fly to get there then the mom could move to another province but so could the father I would contact a family court lawyer and inquire about the law in regards to what you can and can’t do

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING (all threats mean things! Screenshot with dates/times and start building yourself a case)

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If your child was born in the uk legally he can get you brought back to the country where your child is born I went through something similar but I stayed in the uk I traveled from Northern Ireland to Scotland and a court ordered me back to northern as that’s my child’s country of birth, if I didn’t return my son was being removed from my care and brought back so obviously I returned, if he is a danger to you or your child go to a solicitor or even woman’s aid for advice woman’s aid can even move you somewhere safe where he wouldn’t be able to find you and your child and the very slim chance that he did he wouldn’t be able to physically get near you, if he scares you and you think he could physically hurt you or your child you report to the police and then get a non molestation order then get advice about traveling away but if he is on the child’s birth certificate it could be hard to get away, I wish you all the luck

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Get a lawyer. Better safe then sorry.

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Talk to a British lawyer.

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For all the people saying “It’s his kid too”
You do realize he kicked his own child out right? :woman_facepalming:t2:

Get a lawyer and document everything. Better to be safe than sorry.

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Definitely file for custody. Start there.

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Find out how long you have to be where you are in order to establish residency and then go file for custody

One of the reasons to never move into a man or woman’s house that your name is not on. At least his mom had a heart and let her and baby go there. People talking about how messed up it is because he kicked her and the kid out forgetting women kick the man out the house all to the time. Matter of fact a lot of these women main go to is kick him out. Two sides to a story not enough information to give advice.

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Start video taping your encounters!! Video does not lie!!!

You need to search for any possible legal aid. And start asking around on forums for law etc too. First off, keep evidence of EVERYTHING he does.
Start to document all past events, and record as much as you can.
Seek advice from Citizens Advice on the law and custody application. And contact Women’s Aid about all of it. They’ll work with you. They’re amazing.
Best of luck mama. You got this.

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research hague convention

Goodluck. How. Dare. Him. Kick you. Out. And. Your child. My. X had. His. Two. Boys. And. I. Removed. From. Our. Home. Cause. I. Filed. A. Pfa. On. Him. I. Will. Never. Forget. This. Be. Brainwashed. The. Boys. Saying. He. Had to. Do. It he. Was. Abusive to. Us. And. He. Died. But. Before. He. Did. He. Told. Our. Kids. It. Was. Me. And now. My. Youngest. Has. Nothing. To. Do. With. Me

Give advice or constructive criticism and let that be that. No one sends these questions eager to read through people arguing with one another. Smh

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If you guys have no custody order, he can actually have you charged with kidnapping.

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Call and get a free consultation from a family attorney!

Most likely he started seeing someone else! Intimacy doesn’t just drop unless there’s a bigger issues behind closed doors! He kicked you guys out. You’re the mother. His loss. I wouldn’t worry about him trying to come after you with your son. If he cared he wouldn’t have done what he’s done.

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File for custody of your child in your country. Then most likely he will have to appear there and most likely won’t and your will win. But also document and put down why you had to leave. Bc he kicked you out an you were homeless and it was what was best for your son to return to your own country

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Parental kidnapping? Lawyer and go for custody before he does.

He’s kicked you out with the child so he’s kicked the child out therefore the child won’t be removed from you Aslong as you have a roof over the child’s head & can provide for child’s needs. Child lives with you, he won’t be able to take that child away from you.

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In the UK the courts do not take children from their mom’s unless there’s a valid reason. Legally you can’t take your child out of the country without his permission for longer than 3 months. You would have to seek legal advice on that. Most solicitors do a free 1hr consultation.

You need to get full custody to be able to leave without anything legally happening

Ask an attorney, but your mom and paternity has not been established yet so he would need to prove he is dad unless you to are married if you are he is infact the legal father. There is nothing he can do unless he is on the birth certificate. Now if he is he can take baby as well and with hild child until yall go to court and established custody.
Definitely need an attorney.

He doesn’t want the baby, he just wants to hurt and control you. Whatever you do, don’t give him any warning. I recommend to cut off contact and find out what your options are. If there’s no law preventing it, pack up and move where you want. He’ll have a lot of channels to go through to find you. I doubt he’d put in the effort. He probably just wants to intimidate you.

Do NOT leave your child with him for even a moment. Who knows what he might do. If he tries to demand a visit, don’t respond until you’ve got things taken care of legally.

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First off, is he on the birth certificate? Does your child already have a passport? Both parents have to sign and be present when child is getting one. Also you may need a letter with his permission to take your child out of the country.

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Idk anything about UK laws. I’m not going to pretend to. I do recommend talking to a DV counselor. Youve been through a lot. They should also have resources to help you.

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I love all these women defending this man and “it’s his baby too.” Did y’all just skim over the fact that he knowingly kicked them both out and told her to move overseas? He’s a narc and is playing mind games. If he cared enough about that child he wouldn’t have kicked them out on the street.

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Does he have money? He isn’t gonna get anywhere and if he does just keep holding him off don’t show for court

He kicked you AND the child out. He already hurt his case for having custody of the child. He just wants to control what you do now by making you scared. You can get a free consultation to figure out what would be the best way to protect yourself

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He kicked you out not caring that you would be homeless….move before he gets a court order keeping you there.

If you move first and get residence in your country then he will have to come there to fight it.

Sounds like he didn’t give a crap to begin with.

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Check residency requirements in your area to file for custody. If you meet the requirements, file for custody.

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File custody. Move to where he can not find you.

I would document everything thoroughly and go speak to embassy about your rights and what happened. Work on getting your child dual citizenship as soon as possible and established and a healthy/happy home. This way you can show everything/everyone what you’ve done is above board. Most of all document it all - calls, text, letters.

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You’re caught between a rock and a hard place. I don’t think you’ll be able to leave the UK with your child without his permission. It could be considered kidnapping if you do. I live in the States and when I had to flee my ex I could only leave the state we lived in with our daughter because he had told the police that I could. Go with Sarah Rumery’s suggestions about talking to your embassy. They’ll be able to guide you through the legalities. I also agree with having your child get dual citizenship.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Legally what can my ex do? - Mamas Uncut

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